Being in a real relationship is scary stuff. Many of us can manage the whirl and dazzle of casual dating, even maybe close(ish) friendships, but intimacy, real intimacy, sexual or platonic, can be, for some of us, the stuff that nightmares are made of. or heroes. We stumble through life keeping people at arms length. The dark truth is that we think that if we allow people too close, if we let them SEE us, they will discover the awful secret. That we are bad people,different,lacking,and somehow, not good enough. That if we open the door and let them in, eventually, they will hate us, hurt us, maybe, oh god,even leave us. Sometimes in our fear, we leave them first. It seems to hurt less.
So, then, do we ever risk intimacy. Do we dare to open our hearts to friends, lovers, family? Can we accept the challenge that life and yes love offers us, to try to see the good in ourselves and then share it. To trust that others just might be kinder to us than we have ever known how to be to ourselves? And,maybe just maybe, something sweet will come. Are we willing/able to take the risk to do whatever it takes to learn to rebuild trust , to actually ALLOW ourselves to have a real life, with real loves, flawed & imperfect with the chance of ecstasy and yes, even pain. To have and be a REAL friend, to open our hearts as well as our arms and our bodies to our lover, to allow our children, sisters, brothers the chance to get to know us and maybe accept us, just as we are, flawed and yet wonderful. Maybe even beautiful...really. And possibly thru that acceptance, we learn to love and accept ourselves a little more. Is it worth the risk? I ask you.
