Ok, so I did laundry yesterday. This, in itself, is nothing extraordinary, as I do roughly six loads per week. Cold water, no bleach, tumble dry on Warm. Anyway, it comes to me that my underwear seems to be deteriorating at a much faster pace than I can ever remember. I had casually noticed this over the past few weeks, but yesterday the realization actually hit me. What happened? Years ago, underwear seemed to have everlasting life. They even had an Everlast brand.
For as long as I can remember I have been a brief guy. Well, except for those torturous weeks of boot camp when I was required to wear government issue boxer shorts. Talk about a rude awakening from the comfort of briefs. The boxers had the tag in the front, so partway through the day I'd realize I had them on backwards. That took a fair amount of jockeying to correct. Probably where they came up with the term "jockey shorts".
Back on topic... Briefs have served me well, lasting for the better part of a year, beginning to fade around mid-autumn. They usually lasted right up until the Christmastime replacements arrived. Twelve pair were plenty to last for the year. This was done by constantly rotating stock, not by wearing each pair for thirty days straight. Certainly do-able, but not recommended.
So here we are, three months into a new underwear year, and mine have already given up the ghost. All twelve pair have taken on the appearance of cheesecloth. They still have a hint of waistband elasticity, but the basic fronts and backs look sheer, and the legbands are almost completely detached. Now, I know that underwear is considered a high wear and tear item (I'll refrain from using the term "consumable item") designed with occasional replacement in mind. But three months? Again, what happened? I don't think I subject my underwear to significantly more hazards than any other person. OK, opinions may vary.
Now I'm wondering if Inspector 12 finally retired, and the Fruit of the Loom guys seized the moment. I've also got my doubts about the green and purple grape guys. I think they're jealous of the apple guy for getting all of the good press, and the lead role in their commercials. Or maybe, just maybe, some foreign manufacturer is making cheap knock-offs to sell to unsuspecting merchandisers who unwittingly retail them as 100% original Grade A, USDA approved drawers. Watches, shoes, handbags, and now underwear... What next? 
