May 2, 2008
I often say that my life is stranger than fiction, and with this blog I intend to prove that theory!
Just yesterday I received an email advertisement that asked the burning question, “Does your car make noises?” Now at first glance that is not what I thought it said. I thought it was asking me, “Does your cat make noises?” And I’m sitting here in front of my laptop wondering why in the world do they want to know that! And at the same time I was also mentally compiling a list of all the noises they make!
On my birthday Wednesday I went to Wendy’s with two friends. Sounds innocent enough doesn’t it? Well, the place was pretty empty . . . there were maybe 2 other tables with folks. And then here comes this gentleman around our age (50’s to 60’s) who sits down across from us and seems to be listening to our conversation. Finally he gets up and approaches us and tells us he can make a flower out of the Wendy’s napkin . . . which he proceeds to do! It actually looked like a yellow rose. He also volunteers that he can make animals out of a cloth napkin. Cue the Twilight Zone music. Now after all that you think he would’ve given the flower to one of us!
Several weeks ago I went with a friend and two of her high school art students to shop for some things they needed for their photography projects. By the time we had gone to the Goodwill Store and eaten dinner at the mall, I was tired and decided to wait in my friend’s Mountaineer while they went into the Super Giant. Unfortunately I needed to make a pit stop before they were finished shopping. I called my friend on her cell phone to tell her so they wouldn’t wonder what had happened to me. While I was talking to her on the phone I went to open the car door and all heckedy deck broke loose! Flashing lights, horn honking, and no way for me to stop it since she had the keys! It seems her car has a child safety alarm system that notifies you quite loudly when someone TRIES TO GET OUT OF THE CAR! Talk about one of life’s most embarrassing moments.
This doesn’t count the numerous things that I have lost . . . misplaced if you will. Several months ago I couldn’t locate the blank checks for my account. I searched in all the places I thought I would store something like that. Nada, zip, zilch! Then, one day I needed to clean out the car so I could have room for people to sit. Novel idea right? As I was cleaning I decided to put one thing in the glove compartment and . . . yep, you guessed it . . . there was the box with my blank checks in it! I mean doesn’t everyone store their blank checks in their glove compartment?
And there are the lost keys! I once lost the key to the Woman’s Clubhouse . . . just when I decided to confess that I had no idea where the key could be, I happened to try on a pair of slacks I obviously hadn’t worn for awhile. And found the elusive key in the pocket. Then there was the time I was sure I had dropped the house keys in the yard. I searched for several days before I finally discovered that they had fallen into my purse! Another time I had been to a program with a friend and when I returned to my house I couldn’t find my house keys anywhere! Luckily I had my cell phone and called my friend. She sent her husband and her brother-in-law to help me get in . . . they had to take the AC unit out of the window. The next day my friend found my keys in her driveway! They had fallen out of my purse. I’ve also locked my keys in my car and had to have someone pick the lock because my spare set of keys was at home in my other handbag!
In addition to keys I also frequently misplace the remote controls, my glasses, my checkbook, and my mind! The doctors swear that I don’t have ADD . . . but I sometimes wonder if their diagnosis was correct! Maybe chronic absent-mindedness would be a better label for my malady.
~KK
Tags: Humor
