I had two piles of firewood in the living room of the rusty green trailer I once lived in because I had no other place to go. It was the winter of 01 in Upper Michigan and a pot bellied wood stove gave me my heat and cooked my meals that didn't come out of a dinty can. I was desperate, a cat cornered wondering why God had done this to me. My family had left for Florida and Minnesota and I was left alone on family property in a home that was barely fit to live in. In actuality, I had done it to myself after a series of life's unfortunate turns of fate had left me alone in the woods looking out on Island Lake. The snow swirled on the white, frozen lake and I would get chills just seeing it from inside the comforts of my little spot next to nowhere...

One pile was the frozen wood I'd chiseled out of the woodpile I hadn't tarped and next to it was the wood that had unfrozen and ready to fill the heat beast that enabled me to sit at the table and write with pen to paper. If I got lazy and didn't bring in the wood the wet wood wouldn't burn and all I would get was fumes that filled the room and I had to open the front door to get some air to breath. The cold air rushed in and I would hate myself for taking that nap and not caring if the fire went out. The fire inside me almost did....

And then came Bud and Pard. I went for a ride one night and had one too many and adopted two twin male black cats and I figured some companionship was what I needed and they were the love of my life that winter. They kept me going. They gave me a reason to live. They lived off birds they would snag from the feeder and the cheapest cat food I could buy. I left the door barely open at night so they could get in and out. I marveled how they would jump into the waist high snow and having fun doing it. I wasn't having as much fun as they were but it made me smile a bit....

I look back on those days now  as I sold that wood stove yesterday and it felt like I'd lost my soul mate. Filling it with wood from my land and filling me with heat when it was so cold I almost froze. But, an amber kept burning in that stove and in my heart and I found my way out of the snow, the adversity and spring time came with the trickling of the snow melting in my driveway and rolling downhill to bring on the green grass. Spring always brings hope....

Bud and Pard grew up to hate each other worse then Cain and Able and I took them to the humane society and gave them up like I'd given up my first born. Both were bloodied from fighting for rights to the new penthouse cabin I was building.  It crushed me but I had to do it and I swore I would never give up a pet again. You know? This is why I am so hesitant to get a dog....

But, I'm going to get a dog. Kris is here this morning and he's in the blind I've been baiting for a couple weeks. It is so good to see him again and I'm cooking him a huge breakfast for when he comes in from the cold. The camp is warm, the fridge is full and it's time to sit with Kris and remember those days long ago.....

Easy....

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