None

Deb,
You are such a wonderful person it is hard to ever tell that anything is bothering you but you do need to know that if you ever need to go right ahead and whine all you want. You are always there for others and if you feel down it is ok. It is ok to let your feelings show sometimes. It is good for you also. You know it is not good to hold things in. Thank you for being there when I have needed you and I will be there for you if I possibly can. You have been so wonderful and supportive and sometimes it helps to be able to return the love and support. I do hope you have the best Holiday possible. My grandmother is gone also and she raised me so I do know that feeling. Her favorite time of year was Thanksgiving and although it has been many years sincs she left us every Thanksgiving I miss her. I can still hear her laughter at that time of year. Her B-day was Nov. 25th and it fell on Thanksgiving every so many yrs and when it is that day it really is hard, so you are not alone. You have many great friends here as you have said so you know what to do without me trying to tell you. I just wanted to let you know that you are a wonderful person and can vent your feeling anytime you feel the need. Thanks so much for this site. I believe it will be a great help to everyone. Have a beautiful evening. Love ya, Linda

--------------------------------------------------------------
Make the best of your life, you only get the one chance!!!

Thank You Linda

It's friends such as yourself that get me through anything. I am truly blessed by the people that God has allowed to cross my path while on this earthly journey. Counting my blessings one by one.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Just a thought.......

None

The holidays are hard on so many people for many different reasons. Some because they have lost a loved one, some because they are homeless and others for not being able to give the gifts they would like to to their children. What ever the reason that the holidays are not the best time of the year for you just know that deep down inside, your loved ones are with you always , they are you angels looking out for you, if your homeless thank the many places that offer hope, food and a warm place to stay, if you cant give your children all the expensive things they want on their wish list remind them there is more to life than having all the fancy things and maybe tell them how it was when we were little and times were rough. I am sure most of us have been there.

I lost my mother in april of 1978 to a massive heart attack and to this day when I have accomplished something or when new grandkids were born or even my great grandkids I still want to pick up the phone and call her . She was very supportive when I got hurt and I over heard her telling my sister that she had wished it was her that it happen to and not me . I am very thankful for all the years I had with her . I lost my dad in 1995 to a heart attack also . I was talking to him about my daughter getting hurt on the job ( police dept ) and he was making sure she was okay. I hung up and the next day I got the call that he died that morning . He worried about me also living alone and always told me to be careful , that I didnt know who could or would be watching my apt lol I still miss him calling me and saying "babe " how you doing and are you doing okay . All of his brothers and sister and my mothers side of the family are gone now . I have only one cousin that I am close to and he is in Fla . I do have some distant cousins that i am seeking out now in doing my family tree. i have a sister in Charleston, S.C. and one in Louisville. I dont get to see my sister in Charleston but once a year and my other sister is close at hand. I thankful that I have a bunch of healthy grandkids (22 ) and great grandkids (8 ) and they make up in a small way for those that arent with me anymore . My family is very important to me .

I thank you Debbie for being the friend you have been to me and taken me under your wing and teaching me how to post on here and to jessie also . You both brighten my day when you call and it rreminds me that there are people out there that care no matter what is going on in your life . Everyone has been so nice to me here and I just wish I could do more for you all .

Just know that your in my heart as is jessie and Linda and everyone else . I am here if you need me or have a shoulder any time .This is what friends are for, they know when we are down , and in their own way they pick up us and help us get though the day . Like the Clintons said , " it takes a village " I know they meant to raise a child , but to me it takes good friends also to help us get through what ever our makers throws at us

thanks for letting me blow off some steam

all my love to all of you

--------------------------------------------------------------
Sassy_sandy

Holiday Depression

By Dr. Richard Boyum

We generally think of the holidays as a joyous, happy period. The period of time between Thanksgiving and New Year's is a time in American culture for much celebration. People come together to eat, sing, share gifts and the camaraderie of each others' presence. But there is an increasing body of knowledge that says that the holidays are a period of time that is, for many, stressful at the least and for others, downright depressing. Consider for a moment the following information:

1. The Thanksgiving to New Year's holiday season occurs during the time of year when there are the fewest number of hours of daylight. Research has shown that ten percent of our population is significantly affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Regardless of other factors related to the holidays, sufferers of true Seasonal Affective Disorder may experience chronic fatigue, difficulty in sleeping, irritability, and feelings of sadness.

2. For most individuals, all of the activities of the holidays must be piled on top of all of their other responsibilities that, for most people, include both work and family. The 168 hours that there are in every week cannot be expanded. Consequently, many individuals feel a significant time crunch.

3. Only about 25% of all individuals are living within what would be considered a traditional family at the present time. Death, separation, divorce, remarriage, and job-related separations cause many individuals to feel a dissonance with the traditional holiday-related values.

4. The majority of Americans spend somewhere between 95% and 100% of each paycheck. Again, the period of time between Thanksgiving and New Year's brings about special costs that often increase debt. The research in couples counseling indicates that financial stresses and pressures create significant and long-lasting effects on marriages.

With these thoughts in mind, the following suggestions are offered to help keep the holidays a happy and joyous period of time:

1. Manage your time effectively during the holidays. Set reasonable goals about what can be accomplished during this period of time. In many ways in our culture, time is money. Shop during off-peak times--this means from January to the first of November. If space allows, consider stockpiling needed groceries well in advance of special events. This is a resource to be utilized wisely.

2. Set reasonable limits regarding the purchase of gifts. Unusual or unique gifts, handmade gifts, and gifts of time can create special meaning. Consider sending Christmas cards at times other than peak Christmas card time. When an individual receives a dozen cards in a day, it's hard to reflect upon the meaning and message. Christmas letters are a good idea. If you have a computer, you can individualize a paragraph in each letter, if you wish, and save a lot of time, rather than writing things out by hand. Most individuals can empathize with the number of tasks to be done, so they are not offended by computer-generated Christmas messages.

3. Set reasonable expectations about who you are going to visit and when. Do not pretend that you are the U.S. Mail Service. In other words, in cases of rain, sleet, or snow, you do have the right to change your plans. Again, more families are beginning to pick off-peak times of the year to have their "Christmas" celebrations.

4. If loved ones are absent during the holidays, if relationships are broken, or there have been other types of tragedies, do not pretend that they do not exist. Denial takes more energy than talking openly about these issues. Whenever possible, emphasize the positive aspects of a relationship that has been lost, or allow yourself to put more energy into other relationships that have survived, as you reallocate your energy to other members in your extended network of family and friends.

5. Resolutions really do work. They are simply elegant ways of developing goals. Remember that you cannot do a goal. There are steps to a goal. Limit the number of goals/resolutions for change that you develop. Consider having one that is work-related, one that is nonwork-related, and one that is relationship or family-related. Remember that in developing resolutions, you need to think S.M.A.R.T. In other words, be "S"--specific about what is to be accomplished; be "M"--have a goal that is measurable; be "A"--have a goal that is attainable; be "R"--have a goal that is result or output oriented; and, finally, be "T"--have a goal or resolution that is time bound. Whenever possible, share your goal with someone else and have him/her help you be accountable.

6. Because the holidays are a time in which outdoor activity can be limited due to cold and darkness, do as well as you can in managing your calorie intake. Fatty foods, in the form of cheeses, processed meats, and sweets with lots of butter, as well as simple carbohydrates, abound during this type of season. Try to work out a schedule of some form of meaningful exercise (even walking) during this period of time. If you bundle up enough, you will find the activity pleasant and enjoyable. Target your favorite foods and allow yourself to indulge, but with limitations. Consider keeping things like popcorn and other relatively low calorie munchies around the house. Your post-holiday "ten" may only be a post-holiday "two to five". This, of course, is a lot easier to live with.

7. Finally (and of most importance), remember the spirit of the holidays. Our three major holidays involve some very special messages that we need to remember. Thanksgiving celebrates the bounty that surrounds us. It is people coming together to feast and reflect upon a year's harvest of labors. However great or small, there are things to be celebrated. Christmas is the season of profound love. The importance of giving to others and sharing and bringing joy to the world are central to our spiritual meanings in life. New Year's is a time of new beginnings. A time to let go of the old, forget the past, and to rededicate our energies, our talents, and our love to another year. New Year's is a reminder that, with every ending, there is a new beginning.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to my Merry Kingdom...

None

Deb's family became "my family" back in the 70's and I cannot even express my DEEP GRATITUDE for their acceptance and love!!!

Her grandmother and mother could not have possibly been better women. The love they gave to me is a part of me to this day and I am forever thankful.

Now, to Ms. Deb:
She is the close sister and confidant I never had, the best friend everyone dreams of having and she embodies the word "grace."

--------------------------------------------------------------
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss

Holiday Depression

It’s good to see a group where we can talk about those “dark” days we all have from time to time. We have so many suffering from so many different things and it just helps to get it off your chest, or for me it does anyway.
This time of year always brings about dreams and bouts of depression for me. It’s not the season or the change of weather it’s that I have lost so many in my family during the months of October, November, and December. My Mom passed away on November 4th, my grandmother passed away in November, and my sister passed away on December 19th so this time of year and the holidays are very mixed for me. This is also something that makes me feel like everyone around me is so tired of hearing about it so I find myself not wanting to talk about my feelings. This, of course, makes me feel even more depressed and it’s just a vicious circle.
One thing about me is I love family. The more family the happier I am. There is no such thing as too much family for me. Thanksgiving is a great time to be with family and I love it but in the back of my mind are who all is missing and how much I miss each and everyone. Christmas was always a big deal and having parents who were divorced was actually a good thing at Christmas, LOL. We got to go to my Dad’s and have a huge Christmas there and then leave and go to My In-Laws and have more and THEN go and finish the day at my Mom’s and Grandmothers and it was the icing on the cake. This year we will go and spend the day at my son’s home and I will be with my grandson and it will be great but once again I will be missing all who will not be with us. I will cry when I hear The Little Drummer Boy and some of the other Christmas Carols thinking of Christmas when my brothers were small and my sister was always so excited.. I will miss my grandmother and all the cooking she loved to do and the special little laugh she had when we did or said something a little “off color or strange” in front of her but I will keep that smile on my face and say, “I’m fine.”

My children know I get depressed at the holidays and they are so good to try to keep me “up” during this time but I’m glad you guys are here for me to just say out loud �" I miss my mother, my dad, my grandmother, my sister, and all who will not be with us this year. Thanks for listening and I know so many have it far worse than me, but for once, I will try not to fee guilty and whiny about how I feel ( that’s a lie) LOL. But the greatest blessing I have is my best friend of many years, Jessie(Mimi134) who will look right into my eyes and I will know that she knows how I “really” feel and it is all going to be ok.

I pray we all can have the greatest holiday season and know that it is even better as we have such wonderful friends here on Boomer that really do care.
I Love You Guys,
Debbie

--------------------------------------------------------------
Just a thought.......

Oh Great!

Thanks alot sissy ok, I'll stop slinging snot!!I love you too and the only way you could be more of a sister is biology! Hey, we be soul sisters, teeee he he. Your kind in your words as you are every day in life and ditto to you.
See you at the Auburn/Alabama game!!
ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------
Just a thought.......