It will be two years ago this June I lost my beloved cat, Kisa.  We were on our way home to visit my dad in Montana and we had Kisa with us.  She was doing pretty good driving with us in the car once she got used to being in it.  I had a pillow and she would sometimes lay on my lap on the pillow and seemed to enjoy watching the view and being petted as we drove.  Then sometimes she would switch and sit in my husband's lap and was perfectly content.

To remember the day on how she died is hard to bear.  When it first happened, I had played the scene over and over in my head, seeing the truck hit her, hearing the truck hit her as he sped by.  Time has a way of healing, I guess.  At least I can remember her without breaking into sobs and feeling the guilt of losing her the way I did.  I adopted her from a no-kill animal shelter, it was my job to take care of her, protect her.  We were only an hour's drive from my dad's house.  If only we hadn't stopped at that diner to get something to eat, she wouldn't have gotten out of the car when we returned.     I failed her miserably.

I have memories of a sweet cat that took a lot of work to get her to act like a normal cat.  I don't know what her history was before bringing her home.  With observing her behavior and how she reacted to my husband, I feel she had been horribly abused.  If she saw me sweeping the floor, she would never enter the room until I put the broom away.  If I were putting in a new liner for the garbage can, she would go running off.  And she would never accept food from me unless it was in her bowl and I walked away before she would eat.  It took two years with us working very hard to get her over her issues.   When we finally earned her trust, she grew very close to us, and I would have to say, I think it was at that time she became my husband's cat.  It broke his heart when we lost her. 

The only thing that helps make this easier is the fact that I know where she is.  I have the peace of mind knowing she is in a better place, that she isn't out there somewhere starving, being hunted down by coyotes or whatever.  If nothing else, the last two years of her life, we were able to make them good ones.  She was our little princess.  Eg elska thig, Kisa.

     

I
Only Wanted You

They
say memories are golden

well maybe that is true.

I never wanted memories,

I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,

a million times I cried.

If love alone could have saved you

you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,

in death I love you still.

In my heart you hold a place

no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway

and heartache make a lane,

I'd walk the path to heaven

and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,

and nothing seems the same.

But as God calls us one by one,

the chain will link again.