1. To remove a bandage painlessly,
Saturate the bandage with vodka.
The stuff dissolves adhesive.
2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers,
fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking,
let set five minutes and wash clean.
The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
3. To clean your eyeglasses,
simply wipe the lenses with a soft,
clean cloth dampened with vodka.
The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka
and letting your safety razor blade
soak in the alcohol after shaving.
The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
5. Spray vodka on wine stains,
scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.
6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face
as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo.
The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair,
and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka
and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
9 Pour one-half cup vodka
and one-half cup water into a Ziploc freezer bag
and freeze for a slushy, refreshing ice pack for aches,
pain or black eyes.
10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar
with freshly packed lavender flowers,
fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly
and set in the sun for three days.
Strain liquid through a coffee filter,
then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth
to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
12. To cure foot odor,
wash your feet with vodka.
13 Vodka will disinfect
and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy
to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.
15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth.
Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.
And silly old me!
I've only been drinking the stuff.
Or used to. c
