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With the Election just weeks away I thought this was just the right speed:
This is a story I just had to share…why I just don’t know however this is a warning. Canine owners beware; if your doggies do the dropping dance and you leave it where it lays…The law will find you and fine you… A new study shows that Israel is already implementing this law and Australia is now stepping up and also using this against wayward dog droppings. The Israeli city of Petah Tikva, a suburb of Tel Aviv, has just launched a six-month trial program that will have local dogs DNA tested so their droppings can be identified after being scraped off the bottom of your shoe. The system will work both as a way to punish poop-leavers as well as reward those who do their civic duty by cleaning up after their pooches. If you scoop up after your dog and leave it in specially marked bins along the streets, you'll be eligible for pet food coupons and dog toys. If it's found on the street, you'll be eligible for fines. Now with every story I talk about I always like to find the silver lining…hard to do when you talk about poo though…however this could be helpful to those who have lost dogs. The DNA found could help locate their whereabouts…however… a lost dog will drop a lot of messes to be cleaned up or should I say fines to be paid…I can see it now, you call in a lost dog and they immediately stop you and say we found your dog, she apparently got into the cabbage and she has ran up umpteen dollars in fines…You immediately respond and say lost dog…I don’t have a dog… Oh the science technology of today is just a whole lot of hooey… May your day be blessed and may your dog learn to use the toilet. A huge hug and many pats Mart Ooooooooopppps! Good Morning!
You know you can tell a lot about a person from what hazards they deal with on a daily basis. Like California deals with Earth Quakes, Nevada deals with drought. Michigan deals with pot-holes…(and crazy Illinois and Indianans) While Tennessee deals with Aggressive Raccoons…yes…just ask their Basketball coach who apparently was saving her dog from a crazed Raccetty-coon I love calling them Racketty-Coons because they walk goofy…anyway I digress…Who in their right mind decides to wrestle with a Raccoon anyway? NOT ME! Those goofy critters have nails and teeth as long as long can be…How about Floridians who deal with Bull Sharks and Hurricanes? I know New Orleans I know…it doesn’t quite tell the tale. But Florida still has shark problems here is one, A dog is recovering after a Florida Keys carpenter dove in to save his pet from a shark. Greg LeNoir said he took his 14-pound rat terrier Jake for a daily swim at a marina Friday. The five-foot shark suddenly surfaced and grabbed nearly the entire dog in its mouth. LeNoir said he yelled, then balled up his fists and dove headfirst into the water. He hit the shark in the back and the creature finally let go of the dog. Man and dog made it safely back to shore. The dog suffered bite wounds but was not critically injured. Who does that? No No No not biting the dog, I mean who jumps in water and wrestles a shark for a Rat Dog? Not me, happy dinning my toothy friend I know who is at home in their environment and as much as I call myself a scuba diver and swim like a fish I know which fish has bigger teeth! Where was I? Oh yeah States and areas that have hazards people deal with on a daily basis. How about Missouri Twisters, Twister ally, now there is a fun ride. New York…deals with New Yorkers…Just kidding…However I joke about these hazards but to people who live in those areas and other areas I have not mentioned it is real and it is daily and we on the outside sitting and watching say…you can have it…but in al reality those of us that deal with that stuff, would not really know how to act now would we? Well That is all I have for today. I wish you a fabulous day, a Fabulous night and whether or not you live in hazard county or wrestle sharks, raccetty-coons or take an occasional rise on a twister from St. Louis to Cincinnati, I wish you all a fantastic Hump day, oh and GOOD MORNING to you… I love using Raccetty-Coon it just sorta rolls off your tongue. Not the Raccoon mind ya, those things bite! A huge hug and many pats …. Shoot I should write a children’s book…Call it Raccetty-Coon wrestles Bull Shark. Mart
I will take a break from my Northern escapades weekend with those guys… yes we were referred to as one of those guys by the staff at Camelot Country Club. I was going to tell my Coronita and Absolute story that is why an Amish lady let me into my room, however there are a couple of pore souls that need their stories told before. Have you heard about the pore dude that just couldn’t catch a break? Well apparently what he did catch was the hood of a car and the grill of a train…all in one night! A Boulder, CO man was hospitalized after he was hit by a train while walking his bicycle across a railroad bridge in Boulder, Colo., early Wednesday, about six hours after he was hit by a car, local station KMGH reported. Police said it was the second trip to the emergency room in six hours for the man. He is reported in stable condition.
According to police, Robert Evans, 46, was struck by a hit-and-run driver on Tuesday night around 10:00 PM, while riding his bicycle at the intersection of Folsom Street and Canyon Boulevard in Boulder. Police are looking for the driver who left the scene.
Evans was released from the hospital at 3 AM and was heading back to his camp outside town when he was hit by the train. According to authorities, he was clipped by an empty Burlington Northern Santa Fe coal train. Since Evans was crossing a bridge barred to pedestrians at the time of the accident, he is facing a possible ticket for trespassing. Think that dude had it bad? Well how about this pore soul just going in for… for… well for the removal of unwanted skin… by the amount of Fours I used one might already guess what skin he wanted removed…LOUISVILLE, Ky -- A man is suing his doctors for allegedly amputating his penis without his consent. Philip Seaton says he went into the hospital to have a circumcision last October after doctors found cancer on his sex organs. But when he woke up hours later, his penis was gone. According to his lawsuit filed in Shelby County, Seaton is suing over mental anguish, pain and loss of enjoyment. The lawsuit states doctors received consent to perform a circumcision and only a circumcision, and that Seaton never agreed to have his penis being removed. Wow…no good byes…well at least he can sit down now…hmmm I am thinking that is not the consolation notice he was hoping for… So as you see these two guys rated higher on the Marty scale for News worthy events. So for now I will bid you a fabulous day, a wonderful evening and wishes for more of the same tomorrow. A huge hug and many pats Marty ß(still has his…well…dignity…)
Good Morning. I sit here yawning to beat the band. That was one long week and short weekend. I hate Inventory time, it truly stinks. So tid bits of my weekend before, the infamous weekend to Hart Michigan with the sports crew. I call them the sports crew due to these guys frequent the same sporting circles, Softball, Bowling and Golf. We were invited due to playing Softball with them 35 years ago…yeah seems weird I know but it is true. Over the years they gained players and friends due to the various sports we guys played together. So this year it was held in Hart Michigan. A small community north of Muskegon Michigan. One could not have picked a better weekend weather wise. The temperature was mid 70’s to 80 and the sun was shining without clouds. The tournament was to be a three day event. First was on Friday which the four of us Bruce, Bryan, Phil and myself were able to play in the same foursome golfing which was cool, however the next two days we were to be pared with two golfers by drawing for opponents. Which by the luck of the draw we picked a handicap pair. Yes this just happened to be the only two handicapped golfers on the course and in the entire group. So we had no idea these two were handicapped until Ralph the one who could see…Yes I truly mean had good eyesight found us and said who he was and made sure who we were, then proceeded to tell us that we might be playing a bit slow today….I am a fast golfer, I get to the ball, and hit the ball with no practice swing just grab the club and launch the ball towards the hole. I have found out over the years my best swings were always seeming to be when I practiced swinging…so I elevated the practice swing and just address the ball and bash it. No so with Ralph and Chuck, …Chuck was legally blind and had a prosthetic leg. Walked with a walker…I should say hobbled with a walker to the ball however, they could drive the cart up on the green and tee for him due to having a handicap blue flag on the golf cart…although it sped things up, it did not take into consideration how log it took him to get in and out of the golf cart. Oh and he took about 5 practice swings…which leads to my next phrase that I will say a lot during my talk about that weekend with the guys… I am Truly going to Hell! I am not passing “GO” and I am not collecting two hundred dollars. I made fun of a Handicapped man. I will just abbreviate it for future reference and to speed up my writings, it will be known as this ITAGTH Pronounced Itagth! Sounds pretty bad either way. Ok, so here is Chuck taking his first shot, 6 practice swings later he hits the ball, it travels ok, actually better then ok he hit it about 125 yards, so I turn to Phil, and oh yes Phil will be there too he is also going to hell. He more so then me, but either case we both were bad boys…I imagine the beer did not play to much in favor of our being bad…So I turn to Phil and say…”ok, he took 6 practice swings and then whacked the ball,… tell me why he could not have done that in one or two practice swings…” Oh and Phil was a Bundle of Knowledge by saying, “He was just judging how far he had to hit it…” I thought and said, “Dude…he can’t see!...how does he judge by his swing how far he is going to hit it…and how the hell did he hit it!” So this goes on for oh let’s see… 18 holes! No…15 do anymore golf due to his legs or lack of, and he was tired. However…his handicap was enormous due to his true handicaps and he received 42 strokes from me…which my handicap was 3.8 so I had to beat him like a rented mule just to win…that did not happen due to me being ORNERY!, and I could not keep my hands off of the 12oz cold cans…Although I knew he could not see well or at all…and could not walk very fast, let alone even walk, those were givens but! He had a mind and he surely should have kept track of his score, which he DIDN”T!!@!!! He was forever not counting all his strokes and what was I going to do come in saying the blind man was cheating? So I took the defeat well on Saturday, knowing that Sunday we would be paired with a different team........Oh the lord works in Mysterious ways. Our partners for Sunday just happened to be...Ralph and Chuck once again! Phil had me laughing so hard on one hole that Bruce and Bryan 4 holes away heard me laughing. Phil said on one hole in which Chuck was not keep track of his strokes ”that if he comes over and says he shot anything less the double digits I swear to god I am going to Bludgeoned him to death with his own club and stick a sign on him saying: Here Lies a Cheater written in his own BLOOD!” Chuck was in a sand trap and took like five swats at it, it reminded me of a dog trying to cover up a turd! We counted in our heads he has to be 14 or 15 for this hole, so I said Hey guys what did you have on this hole? Chuck says I had a 9….The laughter started again…. I have tons more on our adventures…with Chuck and Ralph however…I do not want to bore you or upset you in my lack of holding my cool, Normally Phil and I are pure as the driven snow…but everyone has their limits… So for now that is all folks… Have a great day. A Huge hug and many pats Mart
Wednesday wisdom…go back to bed… Did you know that In July, microbiologists writing in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences reported that the Malaysian pen-tailed tree shrew subsists on a diet of fermented palm nectar that is roughly the equivalent of 100 percent beer. I had no idea myself…I did not even know there were Pen Tails anywhere, oh I digress…"They seem to have developed some type of mechanism to deal with that high level of alcohol and not get drunk," according to one researcher, who hoped further study could help with human cases of alcohol poisoning (and other rare instances in which people ingest alcohol for purposes other than getting drunk). I want to take up their diet…however…my last weekend bout with the guys golfing left me first off not knowing the proper way the card key fits in the hotel door…that would have been embarrassing enough however I took it one step further… I needed assistance from a sweet ole Amish lady who was concerned with my ability to stay upright while ….let’s see how did the guys say I said it, “ My Key is Notta Werking….it’s Boken…ya think?” The story will come out next week in the trials and tribulations of allowing Marty to Go North with the guys on a golf weekend… A Huge hug and Many warm pats as well as good morning wishes. Marty
Good Morning all… no I haven’t fell off this big old world of ours….yet! This is what is known in my world as HELL WEEK… ah yes the dreaded INVENTORY TIME! That time of the year I gain more gray hairs and just plain lose hair!!! So do not worry I am not hiding in a corner mumbling little missives their coming to get me…ah ha oh no…their coming to get me for sure for sure… No I am just not in a morning missive pattern. So the next few days all you will get out of me is blood and guts…not really…Just a good morning wish and a note to say I love my job, yes I do… So Hang in there I have many stories to tell about my guys get away with 58 other golfers that went into Hart Michigan and raised hell over the last weekend. A charity weekend and many brain cells scorched I am sure…you will be interested in the Amish Lady helping me with my room Key story…apparently someone was said to have this one on film….oh joy! Hang in there because I have to hang in here… Many hugs, many pats and here is your good morning wish and all that. Marrtay...
Good Morning… Two entirely different stories but similar in stupidity…Will government officials we elect ever get it right? Italian and U.K. legal authorities have recently discarded rule interpretations based on embarrassingly anachronistic stereotypes of women. In July, Italy's Court of Cassation reversed a 1999 ruling creating a legal presumption that a woman wearing tight jeans could not be the victim of rape because such jeans would be impossible to remove without her assistance. [Daily Telegraph (London), 7-23-08] This story almost makes me want to grab an Italian Official and Slap them into reality! Coincidentally, at about the same time, the British government formally removed the special, ameliorating defense of "provocation" for husbands charged with murdering their wives, thus putting domestic homicide on the same footing as other homicides. (Some husbands had received lesser penalties by claiming that their wives' affairs had provoked them to murder.) [Daily Telegraph (London), 7-22-08] Oh so now killing due to adultery is legal? My gosh… what is next witch burning all over again because we have reason to believe? I rest my case…Governments for and by the people do not exist… A huge hug and many pats…and my heart felt apologies if you live in or around those two nations… Mart
Good Morning and hello there and how ya doing? Have you noticed the number of things there are on the web about miss-use of the EMERGENCY NETWORK put into place to help those in need? Oh my gosh, this is a list of said calls and believe me people just do not understand the difference between a dire emergency and what they think in their head is an emergency. Hey, how’s it goin?’” asks a cheerful male voice on the line. “Police, fire or ambulance?” barks back a very annoyed 911 operator, handling yet another non-emergency call. According to OPP transcripts, that’s just one of a ton of crank or stupid calls 911 operators are receiving these days. Many start with, “Oh, I know it’s not an emergency but …,” then they proceed to use the crisis hotline as an information service. Lonely seniors use it as a “chat line.” “Is this where I would call to say I hit and killed a deer last night?” asks one woman. “This is 911. It’s life and death only,” replies the dispatcher. “I have to let you go, ma’am.” That’s the rule of thumb for a 911 emergency call, right there. If it’s a deer you hit and killed, call the Ministry of Natural Resources. If it’s your dear husband you hit and killed, yeah, dial 911. In Toronto alone, half of the two million calls received annually by 911 turn out not to be an emergency, worse in large rural areas like Huntsville where only three per cent of the 696 calls were of life and death nature.
In Canada, there’s a lot of, “Sorry, I hit the wrong button,” going around. And: “My daughter went for a walk out in the forest and found a whole bunch of stuff that looks like it’s been robbed from somewhere.” That’s not even close to an emergency. In fact, here in Wainfleet that’s called “one-stop shopping.” In the United States, where the problem is even worse, 911 dispatchers have documented calls about a pet cow in the neighbor’s yard, a bad case of the hiccups, a cat on a power line, too few towels in the hotel room and a tame parrot on the loose. One woman wanted police to come to her house and change the battery in the smoke detector she couldn’t reach. Another wanted to know if they had last night’s winning lottery numbers. One man called in a panic because he couldn’t find a gas station that was open. One man called to report his thumbs were stuck in a sprinkler system, while in Lakeland, Fla., a young man got a lot worse stuck in the suction system of a swimming pool. Not the first one, but definitely the second one was a genuine emergency. The most famous misuse of 911 occurred years ago in Hauma, La., when a woman called to say her husband was refusing to let her watch the season finale of Knott’s Landing. She was charged with being a public nuisance. The more serious charge - of being the stupidest person on the planet at that moment - was dropped. Just last week in Trois-RiviÅ res, Que., a former RCMP officer got drunk and called 911, threatening to kill Premier Jean Charest for his “false” campaign promises. In a way, confessing your intent to kill somebody before you actually do it is a legitimate 911 emergency call. But it also tips your hand. Just so we’re clear - police consider a real emergency as any situation that requires immediate assistance when the safety of people is at risk, such as a crime in progress, a car accident, a fire or a medical emergency. (Not the thumb, but the other thing). For instance, if your cat is sitting on top of a hydro pole surrounded by live power lines - that’s not a police emergency. However, if your husband is in the process of chopping down the hydro pole, call 911. If you can’t untangle the garden hose, that’s not an immediate risk to anybody. On the other hand, if you can’t untangle the garden hose because it melted when the fire spread from the house to the shed - call 911. Welcome Wagon representatives knocking on your door is not a crime. Calling 911 to ask why people from Welcome Wagon would be wearing ski masks in August is a good idea. These are the people who would tell you this…Oh Don’t Fly…oh no, I am sure when planes go into the clouds they disappear. Anyway… have a fabulous Wednesday and if it is your Hump Day enjoy if not then you still have a ways to go to get over that hump. A huge hug and many assorted pats. Marr-tay (see I had to put that hyphen in there due to people pronouncing it incorrectly)
Can you believe at what lengths one would go to relive their high school years? Well with that said in Wisconsin A 33-year-old woman stole her daughter's identity to attend high school and join the cheerleading squad, according to a criminal complaint filed against the woman. As if that was not enough… The Lady Wendy Brown, of Green Bay, faces a felony identity theft charge after enrolling in Ashwaubenon High School as her 15-year-old daughter, who lives in Nevada with Brown's mother. According to the complaint, Brown wanted to get her high school degree and become a cheerleader because she didn't have a childhood and wanted to regain a part of her life that she'd missed. Brown allegedly attended cheerleading practices before school started, received a cheerleader's locker and went to a pool party at the cheerleading coach's house. The $134.50 check Brown gave to the cheerleading coach for her uniform bounced, the complaint said. A high school employee, Kim Demeny, told authorities that the woman, posing as the teen, seemed very timid. Demeny said she told her she was not good at math and even cried when she talked about moving from Pahrump Valley High School in Nevada. Demeny said she looked older than a student but had the demeanor of a high school girl. A school liaison officer started investigating after Brown only attended the first day of classes last week, the complaint said. Assistant Principal Dirk Ribbins later learned Brown's daughter was enrolled at Pahrump Valley High School. Ribbins also spoke with Brown's mother, who told him she had custody of the girl. She said Brown has a history of identity theft crimes, the complaint said. Brown made her first court appearance Friday by video conference. The judge set bond at $8,000. If convicted, she could face up to six years in prison and a $10,000 fine. What does it take to say…those years are gone…and life moves on dear. How hard up must someone be for attention. Oh well, Good Morning…How does a 33 year old pass for a 15 year old? I mean the math and crying bit…but come on… Also in the news a naked man walks his dog…and gets tazered by police for not cooperating. How strange do we make people now days for this kind of actions…I wonder if the officer tazer’d the …never mind…The dog had to be so humiliated? On that note I will wish you a fabulous day A huge hug and many pats Marty
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