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Life and Loss



We enter this world, helpless and vulnerable and we will most likely leave it in the same manner. From the moment we are conceived, our physical clock begins ticking and we know not when or how it will stop. The space in between birth and death we call life.



How do we face death? Maybe the question should be how do we deal with loss? Each of us must at some point in our lives deal with it. It could be a natural thing, a job, a friendship, a marriage, a dream, a thought, a loved one. Most losses, although difficult to let go of at the time, are usually short term upsets in our lives. We can learn about it, accept it, embrace it, grieve it, then move on... mainly because when things are put in perspective, some things just arent that important.



The loss that is most difficult to move past is that of a loved one. In my lifetime, I have been blessed to have many wonderful people participate in my life. Many of them have made a lasting impression, a major impact on me. Some of them were only in my life for a short time, others an entire lifetime. The amount of time you spend with someone is of no significance... it is the quality of those meetings that does. Somehow, the attitude of those that make an impact on us becomes a part of us. Similar to osmosis.



Getting back to loss. We hold on because we fear letting go. We fear that letting go means that we no longer care, that it will diminish our feelings toward that person. In fact, letting go permits us to expand our senses and gives us the ability to hold on in a different form. Those we care about are ALWAYS with us. They have already made an impact on our lives and so it remains. Yes, we may miss the physical contact, the conversations, the excitement of being with them. Our bodies are just the encasement for our spirit, our heart and soul. The significant part of each of us lies within. Much like receiving a beautifully wrapped present. As beautiful as the wrapping and trim may appear, the true gift is on the inside. The same with our relationships. We can appreciate and enjoy our friends/loved ones---but what we truly possess is the feeling that person has given us. Feelings are emotions and attitudes---and our contact with every person we meet evokes these feelings. It is what either draws us closer, or pushes us away. Those that push us away also impart some value. They make us aware of what/who makes us uncomfortable and what/who we want to avoid. Those that draw us closer create something within us that brings us back again and again. No one wants to let go of that feeling. In reality...it is when those feelings overcome us and we let them go--- we are sharing a part of us---as well as a part of those who gave us those feelings to begin with. So in a sense letting go isnt a bad thing ---difficult at times, yes, but it is a way of keeping someone we care about alive.



As we face difficult times, when we have to prepare to say goodbye to someone dear to us I pray that we can do it gracefully. We all have a process that we have to go through and for each of us it is different. Maybe we can make that process a little easier by remembering that the part of that person that has significance is still with us. The body is at rest and the soul has gone on to a place that only the heavens know. So my friend, take some time to remember, to cry, to smile--- but dont waste too much time doing that. Letting go will help you to get closer to the person you loved and allow you to become a part of that person in a new and exciting way.


PrB

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Today is the first day of the rest of your life! What an awesome thought! We are blessed with a new day to encounter new people, new places, and new things! It is a new beginning, a new day to find ways to enrich our lives, and perhaps even to enrich the life of someone else. And will we? It is a personal choice that we each have, and one that we so often abuse. A friend recently told me that we should just go out and do things or something similar. I have given that much thought, and realized just how important that is to our own self worth and well being. We have an opportunity to explore our world in so many ways, and most of us tend to just let it slip by. We could be doing something that could change our focus, our thoughts, our entire world but it is up to us to take those steps and to find those things that will bring us happiness and fulfillment. It could be something so simple as a walk in the park, a bike ride, a journey to a new place, a simple smile or hello to someone new, a class, a book, a conversation or even just sitting on a bench at a mall and watching the way people interact. Life is full of beauty if we choose to find it, to embrace it.

I recently had the opportunity to critique a poem called Invictus by William Ernest Henley. His life is quite interesting, and the poem is a reflection of his thoughts on an illness he suffered. The last two lines of his poem are very inspiring "I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul." This is true for every one of us. We can help determine the direction our lives will go, who we become, and it is all based on the choices we make. It is imperative that we make good choices, and ones that we can live with. Unfortunately, we often dont think through things that will have a profound effect on our lives, and then the result tends to be regrets. We can't ALWAYS predict the outcome of our choices, there is some risk involved, however, we can try to make good, calculated and responsible choices that we can live with. Today I made a choice to write this with the hope that it will give me more incentive to make changes I feel and know are important for my life. These are my thoughts: today we are given that opportunity to have a new beginning. If we set goals for ourselves, we focus on them, and make and take steps to achieve them, then nothing is impossible. So if you can, today find a way to make it count. Make it memorable; make it a journey into a new and hopeful beginning. Take that walk, smell a flower, laugh out loud, listen to some music, draw a picture, give someone a hug, say a prayer, visit a friend, smile at everyone you meet, ride that bike, have some ice cream, take a ride, do something special! Remember, once today is gone, it will only be a memory and you cant redo it. Make the most of it! I hope that this will inspire someone to enjoy life if just for today! Have a wonderful and inspiring day!


PrB

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