FUNNIES 10/10/08
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady
During my second month of college, our professor gave
us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed
through the questions until I read the last one:
'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
'Absolutely,' said the professor. 'In your careers,
you will meet many people. All are significant. They
deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
is smile and say 'hello.'
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her
name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:3 0 p.m., an older African American woman was
standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a
lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately
needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car..
A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard
of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man took her to safety,
helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address
and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came
on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was
delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
It read:
'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the
other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but
also my spirits. Then you came a long.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's
bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for
helping me and unselfishly serving others.'
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old
boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a
glass of water in front of him.
'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked.
'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and
studied the coins in it.
'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient.
'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins.
'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice
cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress
came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had
to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the
king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables upon
approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and
tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing
and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked
up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road
where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins
and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person
who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned
what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts....
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to
know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare &
serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a
blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had developed
the antibodies needed to combat the illness.. The doctor explained
the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath
and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will save her.' As the transfusion
progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we
all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his
face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'.
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he
thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in
order to save her but he had chosen to save her anyway.
It may sound preposterous with the benefit of hindsight, but only ten years ago, on September 7, 1998, Larry Page and Sergey Brin founded their new company, Google. My new blog’s birthdate coincides with that of Google and also the recent launch of Chrome prompted me to make this as my first post on my new blog. Hence the name HitChrome. Here are some amusing facts about Google.
1. Google got its name by accident. The founders misspelled the word “googol,” which refers to the number 1 followed by 100 zeroes. The word was chosen to reflect the company’s goal of organizing the massive amound of information that is available on the Internet.
2. The Google home page is so sparse because the founders did not know HTML and just wanted to create a quick interface.
3. At first, there was not even a “submit” button. Users had to hit the “return” key to generate a Google search.
4. Google’s search technology is called PageRank (tm). It assigns an “importance” value to each page on the Web and gives it a rank. But that is not why the technnology is called PageRank. In fact, it is named after Google co-founder Larry page.
5. Google’s traffic doubled when they introduced their “Did you mean…” feature. This feature was made possible by a much-improved spell checker.
6. Google users apparently never feel “lucky,” since the “I feel lucky” is almost never used. However, in trials it was discovered that users saw it as a comfort button and did not want it removed.
7. Brin and Page would hang out at the Stanford computer science department’s loading docks in hopes of borrowing newly-arrived PCs to use in their network.
8. Google’s first data center was Larry Page’s dorm room.
9. When Page and Brin tried to find buyers to license their search technology, one portal CEO told them “As long as we’re 80 percent as good as our competitors, that’s good enough. Our users don’t really care about search.”
10. The first major investor Andy Bechtolsheim on of the founders of Sun Microsystems wrote a check for $100,00 after seeing a quick demo. At first, there was no way to deposit the $100,000 check. It was made out to “Google Inc.,” but there was no legal entity with that name. The check sat in Page’s desk drawer for two weeks while he and Brin rushed to set up a corporation and locate other investors.
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God...
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man', Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster and more muscular than you. He'll also need your advice to think properly. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in romantic pursuits."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?"
"Yeah, well.... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
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