New Drugs For Women
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
>
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> D A M N I T O L
> Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full
> hours.
>
>
> E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
> Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding
> you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they
> moved out.
>
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> ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
> Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
> unconscious for up to two days.
>
>
> P E P T O B I M B O
> Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed
> before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and
> prevents conception.
>
>
> D U M B E R O L
> When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting
> in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
>
>
> F L I P I T O R
> Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
> the urge to flip off other drivers.
>
>
> M E N I C I L L I N
> Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
> lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
>
>
> BUYAGRA
> Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
> duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
>
>
> J A C K A S S P I R I N
> Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
> anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
>
>
> A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
> A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager
> to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
>
>
> N A G A M E N T
> When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
> irritation level as nagging him.
>
>
> Now, send these to any woman who needs a good laugh, and any man who
> can handle it.
.
Body: A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
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For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me, the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.
'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'
'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'
