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WUDNT LIKE TO KNOW HOW THE INTERNET STARTED
Posted On 01/10/2013 05:38:38

Subject: How the internet started.





A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM):

Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started,

but here's the TRUE story ....

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of

Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.

Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband: "Why dost thou travel so far

from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever

leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her - as though she were several saddle bags

short of a camel load - but simply said: "How, dear?"

And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in

between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will

reply telling you who hath the best price.

And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's

Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with

the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.

Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever

having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were

saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It

was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a

language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP)

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete

himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of

Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and

prosecuted - for insider trading.

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy

horsefly take to camel dung.

They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the

deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were

going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who

bought off every drum maker in the land.

And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with

Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken

over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to

be known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO",

said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot

Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic

Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to

locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating

Everything (GOOGLE).

Tags: FUN STUFF


COL HARKNESS BAND ONE OF MY FRIENDS
Posted On 01/10/2013 05:35:13


>

Tags: MUSIC


SAD GRAVEYARD STORY THIS WILL MAKE YOU CRY
Posted On 01/10/2013 05:31:13


My friend Kevin and I are volunteers at a National cemetery in Oklahoma and put in a few days a month in a 'slightly larger' uniform.
Today had been a long, long day and I just wanted to get the day over with and go down to Smokey's and have a cold one. Sneaking a look at my watch, I saw the time, 16:55. Five minutes to go before the cemetery gates are closed for the day. Full dress was hot in the August sun Oklahoma summertime was as bad as ever--the heat and humidity at the same level--both too high.

I saw the car pull into the drive, '69 or '70 model Cadillac Deville, looked factory-new. It pulled into the parking lot at a snail's pace.. An old woman got out so slow I thought she was paralyzed; she had a cane and a sheaf of flowers--about four or five bunches as best I could tell.

I couldn't help myself. The thought came unwanted, and left a slightly bitter taste: 'She's going to spend an hour, and for this old soldier, my hip hurts like hell and I'm ready to get out of here right now!' But for this day, my duty was to assist anyone coming in.

Kevin would lock the 'In' gate and if I could hurry the old biddy along, we might make it to Smokey's in time.

I broke post attention. My hip made gritty noises when I took the first step and the pain went up a notch. I must have made a real military sight: middle-aged man with a small pot gut and half a limp, in marine full-dress uniform, which had lost its razor crease about thirty minutes after I began the watch at the cemetery.

I stopped in front of her, halfway up the walk. She looked up at me with an old woman's squint.

'Ma'am, may I assist you in any way?'

She took long enough to answer.

'Yes, son. Can you carry these flowers? I seem to be moving a tad slow these days.'

'My pleasure, ma'am.' (Well, it wasn't too much of a lie.)

She looked again. 'Marine, where were you stationed?'

' Vietnam, ma'am.. Ground-pounder. '69 to '71.'

She looked at me closer. 'Wounded in action, I see. Well done, Marine. I'll be as quick as I can.'

I lied a little bigger: 'No hurry, ma'am.'

She smiled and winked at me. 'Son, I'm 85-years-old and I can tell a lie from a long way off.. Let's get this done. Might be the last time I can do this. My name's Joanne Wieserman, and I've a few Marines I'd like to see one more time..'
'Yes, ma 'am. At your service.'

She headed for the World War I section, stopping at a stone. She picked one of the flower bunches out of my arm and laid it on top of the stone. She murmured something I couldn't quite make out.. The name on the marble was Donald S. Davidson, USMC: France 1918.

She turned away and made a straight line for the World War II section, stopping at one stone. I saw a tear slowly tracking its way down her cheek. She put a bunch on a stone; the name was Stephen X.Davidson, USMC, 1943.

She went up the row a ways and laid another bunch on a stone, Stanley J. Wieserman, USMC, 1944..

She paused for a second and more tears flowed. 'Two more, son, and we'll be done'

I almost didn't say anything, but, 'Yes, ma'am. Take your time.'

She looked confused.. 'Where's the Vietnam section, son? I seem to have lost my way.'

I pointed with my chin. 'That way, ma'am.'

'Oh!' she chuckled quietly. 'Son, me and old age ain't too friendly.'

She headed down the walk I'd pointed at. She stopped at a couple of stones before she found the ones she wanted. She placed a bunch on Larry Wieserman, USMC, 1968, and the last on Darrel Wieserman, USMC, 1970. She stood there and murmured a few words I still couldn't make out and more tears flowed.

'OK, son, I'm finished. Get me back to my car and you can go home.'

Yes, ma'am. If I may ask, were those your kinfolk?'

She paused. 'Yes, Donald Davidson was my father, Stephen was my uncle, Stanley was my husband, Larry and Darrel were our sons. All killed in action, all Marines.'

She stopped! Whether she had finished, or couldn't finish, I don't know. She made her way to her car, slowly and painfully.
I waited for a polite distance to come between us and then double-timed it over to Kevin, waiting by the car.

'Get to the 'Out' gate quick.. I have something I've got to do.'

Kevin started to say something, but saw the look I gave him. He broke the rules to get us there down the service road fast. We beat her. She hadn't made it around the rotunda yet.

'Kevin, stand at attention next to the gatepost. Follow my lead.' I humped it across the drive to the other post

When the Cadillac came puttering around from the hedges and began the short straight traverse to the gate, I called in my best gunny's voice: 'TehenHut! Present Haaaarms!'

I have to hand it to Kevin; he never blinked an eye--full dress attention and a salute that would make his DI proud.
She drove through that gate with two old worn-out soldiers giving her a send-off she deserved, for service rendered to her country, and for knowing duty, honor and sacrifice far beyond the realm of most.

I am not sure, but I think I saw a salute returned from that Cadillac.

Instead of 'The End,' just think of 'Taps.'

As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer: 'Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in your loving hands and protect them as they protect us.'

Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.

'In God We Trust.'

Sorry about your monitor; it made mine blurry too!

If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under! 

Tags: STORY


ROCK AND ROLL PAW AND MAW
Posted On 01/10/2013 05:25:53


>

Tags: FUNNIE


HOW DID YOU MEET ME HUH
Posted On 01/10/2013 05:12:38

I would like my friends to comment on this status, sharing how you met me. But I want you to LIE. That's right, just make it up. After you comment, copy this to your status, so I can do the same. I bet half won't read the instructions right

Tags: MAKE UP STORY


WHAT A GEE HAW UVE A MESS UP A GAS COMPANY CAN DO
Posted On 01/10/2013 05:06:49

 GAS  COMPANY 
On Thursday, 24th January 2002 , Derek Guille broadcast this story on
his afternoon program on ABC radio.

In March 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW, Australia )
received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed
$0.00.

He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and
threw that one away too.

The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating
that they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them
$0..00 by return mail.

He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error
and they would take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out
the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the account
it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament.

However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.

He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once
again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a
bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue.

Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill
was yet another mistake, he ignored it, trusting that the company would
be as good as their word and sort the problem out.

The next month he got a bill for $0.00. This bill also stated that he
had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps
to recover the debt.

Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the gas company at their
own game and mailed them a cheque for $0.00. The computer duly
processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now
owed the gas company nothing at all.

A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking
Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing
writing cheque for $0.00.

After a lengthy explanation the bank manager replied that the $0.00
cheque had caused their cheque processing software to fail. The bank
could therefore not process ANY cheques they had received from ANY of
their customers that day because the cheque for $0.00 had caused the
computer to crash.

The following month the man received a letter from the gas company
claiming that his cheque had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and
unless he sent a cheque by return mail they would take immediate steps
to recover the debt.

At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against
the gas company. It took him nearly two hours to convince the clerks at
the local courthouse that he was not joking.

They subsequently helped him in the drafting of statements which were
considered substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he
had been forced to endure during this debacle.

The matter was heard in the Magistrate's Court in Mudgee and the
outcome was this:

The gas company was ordered to:

[1] Immediately rectify their computerised accounts system or Show
cause, within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher
court for consideration under Company Law.

[2] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by the man.

[3] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by all the Westpac clients
whose cheques had been bounced on the day our friend's had been
processed.

[4] Pay the claimant's court costs; and

[5] Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period
March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had
caused their client to suffer.

And all this over $0.00.

This story can also be viewed on the ABC website.

Who employs these idiots??



Remember, these "people" walk among us and breathe the same air we do.
What is worse , they breed ! This is a true story.

Tags: PLS READ GAS COMPANY


GOSPEL MUSIC
Posted On 01/10/2013 05:00:41


>

Tags: AMEN


shooting
Posted On 12/15/2012 11:59:31

regardless of what timezone you live in, please place 20 stars on your wall in honor of the 20 little angels that were sent to Heaven today....let's tuck them in with our prayers. (Please repost and keep this going)...
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Tags: prayers


JUST TESTING BLOG LIKE A NEW CAR GOTTA TRY IT OUT LOL
Posted On 10/03/2012 03:20:16

Tags: LOVE YOU MORE THEN I CAN SAY




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