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WELL,, I LAUGHED
Posted On 11/14/2012 10:56:45

gosh, high heels and all!!! 
 
 
Husband and wife team...
They do this so effortlessly, that's the beauty of this routine, which makes it funnier.
And she in a dress and heels.
 

Tags: video


OK, OK, I'm lost again.
Posted On 09/27/2012 12:01:24

I know, I know, when you made me your friend you actually thought you were making friends with an intellegent woman who had have a brain (stop rolling your eyes Bob) It's been awhile since I've been here I forgot how to change my music, put a background of my own choosing up and no matter where I look I still dont know what I'm doing so if your still interested in being friends with a dingy I sure would love to FIGURE OUT THIS SITE. This time I'm gonna save it or print it out or go to your house so you can explain it to me. By the way, wrist is feeling much better, physical thyrepy tomorrow. Ya know, my wrist felt better before I started therypy. How do you spell that word anyway? 


Excuses, excuses
Posted On 09/08/2012 12:59:00

Just thought I would drop in to tell you why I haven't dropped in lately. Remember I told you I had a severe flare up of arthritis in my left wrist. Well ya, I told you, pretty sure anyway. So, here's the deal, My hand is throbbing so bad I feel like screaming, (but I would scare my dogs) and every now and then I get sharp pains going from my wrist to my hand. Guess the throbbing isnt enough, just to break up the constant throbbing a sharp pain goes from my wrist to my hand. Oh goody. They think I have hurt something in my wrist so it's off to get an MRI to see whats going on. Oh ya, my right hand is going numb again. Hey, I don't do things half way, nope not me, guess I'm an over achiever. It took me a while to type this so I won't go into the other stuff that's happening. Missing all of you and no I have not disappeared just trying to get used to the idea that OMG, I am a senior citizen and these things just seem to be normal (although I've heard that this stuff happens to 30 year olds too. Stay safe, be good, have a great weekend. (for my old friends, just keeping you up to date, for my new friends, just starting to keep you up to date. Any questions just ask, )


Animal Magnetism
Posted On 09/01/2012 10:32:59

Animal Magnetism

Some people seemed to be blessed (or cursed) with
animal magnetism. I happen to be one of those people.
You know, the kind of person that animals are
attracted to.
If there is a lost or stray
 critter anywhere in my neighborhood, he will invariably 
find his way to my door. I don't understand why I have
"animal magnetism" but I guess it's for a reason.
It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!

Life Lessons Learned From A Dog

If you stare at someone long enough, 
eventually you'll get what you want.

Don't go out without an ID, 
if you get lost your person will cry.

Be direct with people, let them know exactly
how you feel by urinating on their shoe.

Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.

Always give people a friendly greeting.

Never get caught with your head in the toilet.

When you do something wrong, always take responsibility,
 (as soon as you are dragged out from under the bed)

If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.

Always hit the paper.

good boy!

Always pretend to love the cat!

"I love that cat!"

 

Creation

When God made the earth and sky,
 the flowers and the trees,
He then made all the animals,
 the fish, the birds, the bees.
And when at last He'd finished, 
not one was quite the same.
He said I'll walk this world of mine
 and give each one a name.
And so he traveled far and wide
 and everywhere he went,
A little creature followed him 
until its strength was spent.
When all were named upon the earth 
and in the sky and sea,
The little creature said, "Dear Lord,
there's no name left for me!"
Kindly the Father said to him,
 "I've left you to the end,
I've turned my own name back to front 
and called you Dog, my friend."

Tags: Joke


COLD IS A RELATIVE THING
Posted On 08/28/2012 04:34:44

65 above zero:
                Floridians turn on the heat.
                People in
Massachusetts
plant gardens.
               
                60 above zero:
                Californians shiver uncontrollably.
                People in
Massachusetts
sunbathe.
               
                50 above zero:
                Italian & English cars won't start.
                People in
Massachusetts
drive with the windows down.
               
                40 above zero:
                Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
                People in
Massachusetts
throw on a flannel shirt.
               
                35 above zero:
               
New York
landlords finally turn up the heat.
                People in
Massachusetts
have the last cookout before it gets cold.
               
                20 above zero:
                People in
Miami
all die.
                People in
Massachusetts
close the windows.
               
                Zero:
                Californians fly away to
Mexico
.
                People in
Massachusetts
get out their winter coats.
               
                10 below zero:
               
Hollywood
disintegrates.
                The Girl Scouts in
Massachusetts
are selling cookies door to door.
               
                20 below zero:
               
Washington DC
runs out of hot air.
                People in
Massachusetts
let the dogs sleep indoors.
               
                30 below zero:
                Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
                Bostonians get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.
               
                40 below zero:
                ALL atomic motion stops.
                People in
Massachusetts
start saying...'Cold enough foh ya?'
               
                50 below zero:
                Hell freezes over.
               
Massachusetts
public schools will open 2 hours late


I LOVE MY DOG
Posted On 08/27/2012 04:05:29

WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
Posted On 08/26/2012 09:41:59

My mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry out."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -- don't exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.



ONLY IN AMERICA
Posted On 08/25/2012 08:31:58

Spread the Stupidity

 


  
Only in   America ......
do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.



  
Only in   America
.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.




Only in   America
.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.




Only in   America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.




Only in   America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 
 

 




Only in   America
.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.




EVER WONDER ...


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?




Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?




Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?




Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?




Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?




Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?




Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?




Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?




Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?




Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?




Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
 injections?




You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!




Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?





Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?




If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?




If flying is so safe,
 why do they call the airport the terminal?





Now that you've smiled at least once , it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
Posted On 08/25/2012 01:27:58

For Those Who May Take Life Too Seriously:  

Save the whales - collect the whole set!

A day without sunshine is like...night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments!

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!

Everyone has a photographic memory - some just don't have film.

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death....twice?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Just remember  if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

Light travels faster than sound.  

That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of jalapenos.  

What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow!




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