you will never know if you ever loved someone until you lose them. because in that exact second that you know that you will never say “i love you†again, you will feel it. either nothing, or one of the greatest pains in life. you wake up and its not the same, life that is. because you know that when you go to bed that very same night, that you will be sleeping alone. so when you have someone who loves you , dont ruin it. sometimes the only way to get over someone is to let them become just a friend, to show them that maybe sometime in the future you can have a chance again, keep them close but never ask for a second chance, dont show weakness. they feed off it like savages. if you love them, then show it by laying off, taking a break, and showing that you can make it without them, even if inside, you dont want to.
You dont know what its like to be me, to be in this much pain, to have to go through all of it over and over again. To have nothing more to lose, but nothing else to gain. So, dont act like you understand and feel the same way. Dont say that you can fix it and make it go away. You dont know what its like to have to hide every fucking day, hide from the people, hide from your past, hide from the pain, hide and run away so that it cant hurt you again. I bet you dont even know what Im talking about as you read this poem, but I know that one day when Im gone youll wish you wouldve known. But dont ask questions and pretend to care when you really dont. And dont tell me youll always be there when you know you wont. Dont lie to my face and play superficial games, dont talk behind my back and call me stupid names, dont tell me to be myself, then tell me how to act and what to do. Explain how you can just sit there and judge me and expect me to trust you, when you cant even understand what the hell im going through.
I get a shiver down my spine.
To be in the control of your able hands
Is an addictive passion of mine
The day is here; I am wonderfully frightened.
You lead me to the cold and sterile chair;
The melodious buzzing, I am intoxicated
The smells of antiseptic and latex in the air.
A cool wetness, and then the graze of the blade
You firmly press the sheet against my skin
I inspect the mark and smile in approval;
You say it is time to begin.
My heart begins to race as you approach
And I feel a hot surge in my veins.
My breath departs me for a moment;
You grin and mock my pain.
I begin to relax and bask in my bliss
Watching with masochistic delight.
Pain becomes pleasure; torture is hedonic -
I move and you hold me down tight
With one last thrust, your task is complete -
I am bloody, injured and content.
You dress my wound and send me off;
I can't wait to do it again
i am who i am
i like what i like
i love what i love
i do what i want
get off my back
and deal with it
it's my life
not yours.
swisher sweet roll up smoke the pain away
as my mind wonders thoughts of a better day
smoke hits my lungs and for a second i can't
breath then i become relaxed in complete serenity
eyes roll back and im in daze memories
know this is wrong but i'll worry about
the pain and suffering once the high is
gone.
I close my eyes
And imagine you're here
Did it all seem so hopeless
Given the chance
I would ask
Forgive me
I didn't do a thing to make you stay
I didn't say a word to make you stay
If I would have known
Could I have tried to make it easier
But I didn't do a thing
Or say a word
One word
And I don't know why you're gone, now you're gone
No beautiful goodbye
You will never leave my mind
And it turns out to be so much different than our dreams
Now you're, you're a star in heaven
My thoughts unsaid
Stuck in my head
And it all feels so useless
Never forget to give all I have
Forgive me
I couldn't do a thing to make you stay
And I couldn't say a word to make you stay
If I could have known
Could I have tried to make it easier
But I couldn't do a thing
Or say a word
One word
And I don't know why you're gone, now you're gone
No beautiful goodbye
You will never leave my mind
And it turns out to be so much different than our dreams
Now you're, yeah you're a star in heaven
Still I don't know why you're gone, now you're gone
No beautiful goodbye
You will never leave my mind
And it turns out to be so much different than our dreams
Now you're, you're a star in heaven
You're a star in heaven now
You're a star in heaven
Yeah you're my star
I think we dream so we don’t
have to be apart so long.
If we’re in each other’s
dreams, we can play
together all night.
