“Oh lets see what we have learned today.......
Id like to say that life was full of transforming lessons today but it really wasn’t. Just another day.
Another breath, as it were, in the grand scheme of things. But i still lay here and reflect.
What could i do better tomorrow?
Is there any positive changes i need to make, in me, for the benefit of those around me?
Do i care enough to make those changes?
Was there something that was supposed to stand out to me?
How could i live, love, and laugh deeper with more meaning than i did yesterday?
Did the people around me feel loved whenever i opened my mouth?
Were they embraced by my actions?
Did they benefit from my words?
Did i focus to much on myself today?
Did i deny myself at all today?
Did i help when i saw need?
Did i spend my time where it really mattered?
Did i value those around me and the love they showed for me?
If i didn’t wake up in the morning, who would think ill of me and who will miss me?
Yes, this is how i end my days, every night. I’ve realized that its my fault as much as it is everyone else. But i also learned that if we mature daily, if each of us do our part to do – Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self control, faithfulness and goodness – if we improved on these every day.? Now, had we started sooner on these life would be easier for us all by now .
-Anolecrab
“I wish i knew for certain
All these questions i have inside
I wish i knew she would read this
I guess its just a crazy ride
Life goes up and down
Thank God He stays the same
His shoulder stained with my tears
My anger he helps refrain
Because what i see as a mistake
He clearly planned in love
The things i count as pain
Is a gift from the one above
He disciplines those He loves
Through circumstance He molds us
His grace forever holds us
The patience he bestows on us
He asks that I not be stingy
When its hard to love
But the love isnt running out
When I pray at night
“God i dont want to feel this way!â€
But gently I feel Him say
“Its going to be uncomfortable,
its going to bring you pain,
but have patience my son I’m working,
you will understand some day.â€
The love unconditional
Humans can not posses
But when its Him loving through me
It will not be put to rest
It runs over full and unselfish
Different from anything i’ve ever felt
“I love you†I once said
With a desire to not be alone
Now I am alone,
“I love you†is something else
“I love you†is an action
A strength to do “I love youâ€
Only in Him can it be found
Every “I love you†before this
Was dripping with egocentrism
But no longer
The cage of insensibility
The kennel of fear
That rusty armor
The one I wore for so long
The one I wore to protect,
My cold selfish, broken, heart
Encased and unchanging
It was destined to stay
Now I am freed from the prison
He has let me run free
He unlocked the door
Threw away that damned key
Broke off my unfeeling shell
Piece by piece it fell
Revealing to me how i truly felt
And i can say it now
Freed from the bondage
The chains of the past
Free from all that disrupted us last
I feel it now, I can see the truth
My heart is open, you say its to late
He is never late
He arrives precisely when He means to…….
Loving ill aways be
As he fuels it inside of me
He has given me this love divine
It Burns true to the end of time.“
-Anolecrab
When my mind runs.
Too many miles a minute.
Black letters.
A white background.
To release what is bound.
Trying to translate emotion.
Thoughts into words.
Hardly making sense.
Its not all that easy.
Saying what i feel.
Making the invulnerable vulnerable.
The indestructible destructible.
Turning the invisible visible.
Honesty? Transparency?
That was my creed.
But to know what that means…
It is all so new to me.
Discovering meaning.
Thoughts once so empty.
Now vibrant with life.
To love apart from need?
Its a crazy thing to see.
Incredible to feel.
What He gave me is surreal.
Its impossible for anyone to steal.
When i found, no matter what.
The overflowing never letting up.
You see.
We create a list in our heads.
A check list of sorts.
“You do this… i’ll do thatâ€.
“You be my perfect and ill try to be yours.â€
The problem is.
I am a “messâ€.
Inside and out.
But He whispered to me softly.
Something of “successâ€.
He has a plan.
Clearly.
Its not me its Him.
My strength.
IS weakness.
There is nothing i can do.
My thoughts.
Tho never complete.
Always so cluttered.
Answers i never try to give.
For i have none.
But a question i will pose.
If i love without need of receiving.
Isn’t it, only then,… really love?
-Anolecrab
