Still been playing with the layout and I think I have all the comment glitches fixed. I really like this background a lot better too. Hopefully everything will stay working.
On the homefront, I'm currently stuck in my bedroom and have three choices: 1) stay in here and play on the computer all night and ignore what is happening outside; 2) leave and try and find somewhere else to exist for the night, or 3)take part in the drug fest that my roommate and his friends are engaging in just outside my door.
Of course option #1 is the hardest, because it's kinda hard to ignore....especially when I want to engage in the drug fest. #2 leaves me, at the moment, with sleeping in my car because I have no where else to go. #3 would be compromising my already shaky recovery even further, though my brain is telling me "it's just one night, you can start over again tomorrow."
It's hard to stay clean when those around you aren't.
It's going to be awhile before I can find somewhere else to live as I can't afford anywhere else at the moment.
I'm wondering what's the point of it all, why even try? Whenever I achieve any measure of success in recovery I always end up sabotaging it all and backsliding. I tell myself I want recovery and to have a normal, happy life, but I must not want it that bad because I keep fucking it up. What's it going to take?
Yeah, I know I'm whining. Sorry.
My rage reverberates off the walls from my silent glare; if looks could kill, the place would be ablaze with the flames of my blackened soul. I look in the mirror and the force of my self-hatred cracks the surface; through the wavering shards I see the terrified boy within crying out for anyone, everyone to hear. I'm here, he says. I matter. Don't you understand? I glare even harder and the last remnants of glass fall to the floor to be ground into dust by my boot. You don't matter, I say. You never have.
It's a bit disconcerting settling into a new place, whether it's offline or in cyberspace. I feel like a college freshman moving away from home for the first time and into a new dorm, but is slightly comforted because there's friends from high school living here too. So at least I'm seeing old friends from My. We're all in this together.
Only, I'm not sure if myboomerplace will be *the* place to settle permanently. There's some things I'm liking.....the profile page is reminiscent of My, and it's easy to "network" and add friends. I'm seeing some profile pages where people have had a chance to really dig in and customize it very detailed, adding music and photos and whatnot. I haven't had a chance to dig into all that yet.
Then, there's the fact that this site was set up specifically for the "boomer" generation. Are they going to appreciate all of us bombarding their space? Yeah, many My refugees are of that generation, but many aren't, myself included. Will we be welcome?
Well, the friends and blogging groups I'm interested in keeping in touch with aren't of the drama-ilk that happened a lot on My. I steared clear of those blogs. I have enough drama in my offline life to want to add to it in the only place where I can escape the drama.
OK, let's try a photo.
Well that was easy. One requirement checked off the list.....graphics are doable.
Video?
One more requirement checked off....video.
And can one subscribe to certain blogs only? That will be a must-have requirement. We'll see.
Oh, and editing. That's one thing My took away from us, the ability to go back and edit blogs.
*and, we're back to edit, and it's working. Yay.
So. All looks good so far, I just need to investigate more and learn to navigate better. If any of you who have been here longer know some tips, lemme know.
