There is no place like it. I dont care if your city has a casino. it aint Vegas. If it exists you will find it in Vegas. I cannot recall the number of folks I met that told me they were thinking of marrage and I said " Think Las Vegas".

The Las Vegas Concierge Service will take care of everything. They send the limo to your hotel that will transport you to city hall where you apply for your license, in many cases the chauffeur will walk you through the process and then transport you to the Wedding chapel.

Wedding chapels are BIG BUSINESS and come in every theme known to man or woman. The Elvis Wedding being among the most popular. Upon completion of the cermony you are transported back to your hotel where you doff your wedding duds and climb into your favorite jeans and t shirts and hit the casinos. Although its not uncommon to see a brides and grooms at the Craps table in full wedding gear.

If you decide to go that route, do it as EARLY as possible. The lines get longer as the day wears on. Afterwards the sky and your wallet are your only limitations Ya wanna rent a Harley or an exotic sports car? You can do it in Vegas. The helicopter ride at night over the strip is breathtaking.

Ya wanna see a volcano erupt? Its in front of the Mirage. Always wanted to skydive? The good folks at The Stratosphere  will strap you into a harness and you can do a controlled fall from the top of the building. They even have cameras mounted on the roof and the side of the building along with a " wrist-cam" so your friends can watch your desent.

  Car rentals agencies are plentiful.One word of caution is to avoid the Strip when driving, its usually bumper to bumper and weekends and holidays are the WORST so bring your handheld GPS.

Don't forget to visit Downtown at night and view the Freemont Street Expeience, an overhead laser and audio show that's 3 blocks long. No vehicles to worry about as that part is pedestrains only.
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 The shows in Vegas are unreal. I was hooked up with tickets to David Copperfield at the MGM Grand and sat there with a dropped jaw through most of it, it was unreal. Having dabbled with magic and stage illusions in the past I was still blown away by what I saw.

My Goth and Vampire friends will love "BITE" at the Statosphere. some of the hottest vampire men and ladies you have ever laid eyes on, ya might need a cold shower afterward. If your heading to Vegas and wanna catch a show, make reservations as early as possible and bring money as the aint cheap but well worth every penny.
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Vegas and gambling go hand in hand. Never gambled before? Every casino offers a free schooling in all the table games. The slots are not for losers as they said in the movie " 21" , they are a whole lotta fun and in every demonination you can think of, yes even penny slots.

Plus if your playing slots you can still get free drinks just like the table games. Tossing the cocktail waitress a buck can insure her quick return. A lot of the cheapskates dont tip so they remember the ones that do.

Guys the waitresses at the Rio are the SEXIEST in town and  wear the least amount of clothing. More than once I tossed a 5 spot for a beer.

My favs are the quarter slots. HINT: Always play the max amount of coins, it can make the difference between a major jackpot and a minor one. One major rule is BUDGET YOURSELF . The horror stories you have head about folks losing everything and maxing out their credit cards are TRUE.

Rule #1: If you go through your allotment for that session go back to your room and watch a movie or go sightseeing. The worst thing you can do is fall into the belief that the next spin, or hand or dice roll will make you a winner.

Yes, it can happen but it usually doesnt.  A good buddy of mine was a Baccarat player of great skill and luck. He left very early on a Friday for a week in Vegas. The first 3 days he was a BIG winner, did the limos, shows and a full service female escorts, the whole 9 yards every night.

 He called me on Tueday afternoon and said " Join me for lunch".  " OK", I answered, " I will hop the next flight out".  " No dont bother, I am back and at Dennys" he answered. "Oh by the way, bring money". He told me that Monday Morning he hit a losing streak and never recovered.

If you ever hear someone say they broke even, they are a winner. Ya spent a week or weekend in Vegas and spoiled yourself, purchased souvenirs and ate well and came back with the same amount of money you started with? You ARE a winner..

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My stories about working nightclubs are sometimes to fantastic to believe, but as with all my blogs they are from personal experiences. Working as a bouncer in a popular nightclub is not as glamorous as one would think, you are the only sober person at a large party. Ya cant drink and ya cant dance because you are at work.

Oh its a real thrill to be called to the ladies bathroom by a lady that informs me that her chum has passed out on the toilet. I have to enter with her and physically stand her up while her friend attempts to redress her. I then have to sling her over my shoulder and carry her out firefighter style.

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As a manager it was still no picnic. The nicer clubs I worked did not have a bouncer, they had an off duty cop or sheriff that worked there. However it seemed that I was usually the first one on the scene of any altercation, the situations were always funnier.

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One club in Fla opened at 8pm. By 9pm one night I heard the whistling and shouting that's usually associated with too much liquore coming from the auxallary dance floor in the back of the club.

 There is a very stunning couple on the floor and the male is rubbing her breasts, butt and body while grinding his groin to hers, much to the delight and veiwing pleasure of the young men at the back bar.

" Come on folks", I say, "Its a little too early for that"  They exit the floor. About a 1/2 hr later I heard the cheering and whistling again and sure enough my " loving couple' were back at it.

This time while they were doing the groin grind he was lifting her mini-skirt and exposing her pany covered butt to the bar and was in the process of removing them. " OK", I said, "You're ottta here, take it down the road"  As they were leaving the female stopped and said " You're ruining our annivesary"..
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Club DJ's are another subject to rekond with. For every one pro you meet there are a dozen prima-donnas.  The one we employeed would rush in about one minute before his start time ignoring the be on the job about 15 mins before rule. He said he needed this rush to get him through the first hours.

He was the ultimate total prima-donna. He hated to announce the in house promotions. When one of the " big shots" came up one night he questioned me about the lack of publicity and I said that I had tired to get him to talk them up. He introduced himself to the DJ and they had a long talk.

As the big-shot was leaving I asked what happened. He said the DJ told him his throat was sore. He told the DJ to buy some fucking throat lozenges. After a no show one night where I had to fill in they fired his ass and hired a real pro.

This newly hired DJ had finished 2nd in a Battle of the South Florida DJ's. The person that took first place tried to give him the first place prize , as he was that good. He needed a few trips with a two wheel cart to bring all his music in. The booth storage bins were filled to capacity with albums and the rest were in milk crates on top.

Well once a month this hotel would have what was called the Managers Cocktail  Party. It started at about 3pm and ran till about 7pm, anyone on the property was invited. There was free food and discounts drink prices.

  One of these parties fell on a Thursday, the day before before the new DJ was to start. We were filled to capacity and the people wanted to dance, so I made my way to the DJ booth turned off the tape player and started spinning records.

 So now in addition to making sure there was enough liquore, ice and clean glasses and assisting the barbacks and waitresses cleaning tables and calling the kitcken for more food I had to DJ, so I was not in a real good mood. 

I turned to see this newly hired DJ staring at me.  "Those are my records", was his comment. " "Yes, but they are in my club and I have a roomfull of people that want to dance." "So unless you want to start playing now I suggest you leave me alone", I growled.

 Friday arrives and the new DJ is there along with this hulk of a Cuban guy who stared at me when I entered the booth. " So I hear that you think you're some kind DJ?", the hulk asked. " I'm not bad", was my answer. " What do your know about music?", the new DJ asked.

" I don't know shit about music", was my answer. " I know what people wanna hear and I play that". At that point the monster sized Cuban guy showed a big smile and picked me up in a bear hug as kissed me on both of my cheeks.

The new DJ was also smiling. "Man we have never worked for a boss that would would make a statement like that, most of them believed they knew everything and everything".

He later admitted that he had been watching me that night he came in and caught me playing his records and he said I handled his stuff like a pro. It was one of the highest compliments I was ever payed and we all became great friends.
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During the time I lived in Florida my lady friend of was forever trying to get me discovered and employed on my talent.

The problem was that men whose major talent was dressing and sounding like Count Dracula were not in high demand except during Halloween.

To continue: My friend was really connected media wise and after a few inquiries actually set up an interview for me at a local TV station that was seeking a personality host their weekly horror movies.

 These type of character movie hosts were really popular for awhile and almost every city had one or more. I grew up on a half dozen or so myself.

The interview went very well and the station manager and was so impressed that she arranged for me to have a audition tape made.

 So on the appointed day I arrived at the station early and was escorted back to the make-up room and with the help of my friend I began the long process of making myself into " The Count."

 Finally made up and dressed I walked out into the set. However when they fired up the studio lights one of the camera men said, " You look pink" and turned one of the monitors around for me to see.

 Six months in the Florida sun had turned my natural dark Italian features ever darker and with the normal amount of clown white I usually wear, it gave me a pink hue.

I return to the dressing room and stripped down to my shorts and with help of my friend we begin to apply multiple and heavier layers of clown white make-up. Finally smoothed out and powered down I returned to the studio. This time I was properly dead white under all the lights.

I was given a script to read as though I would have been on the air. It was a low budget horror movie  filmed in Italy and the directors and the stars all had Italian names, no challenge there.

Everything else was improv and that was not a challenge. After about an 1/2 hour it was over and  I think it took me that longer to remove all the make-up.

The camera man and producer both said it looked and sounded great. Now years on the road and dealing with those in the broadcast industry had taught me to spot someone telling a lie and they were not.

I was really happy and went back to my apartment to wait for the call to come in an set up a shooting schedule.

Well the Station Manager did call, but only to inform me that they were not going to use me. It seems that Elvira, Mistress of The Dark had just been released for syndication and they were going to go with her..Such is life..

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I had talked about it for years. Finally one Spring day I made up my mind, it was time to get my first tattoo. Way back then tattoo shops were not premitted in Cleveland, so I had to travel a bit.

I cannot recall how long I wandered between the rows of flash. Flash is what they call the the pics covering the walls in the lobby of the shop showing the inkwork they can do, many shops now have their flash on PC.

 I showed the artist what I wanted and he quoted me the price, I agreed so into the back we went. The tattooing area was cleaner than some resturants I had dined in.

In another chair was a very pretty girl with her back exposed and her Sorority letters drawn out on her shoulder blade. The artist must have asked her about a dozen times if she was ready and she said " Do it". He fired up his tattoo gun, not unlike the sound of a dentist drill and touched her back.

The scream she let out was deafening. She pulled her shirt down and said " NO FUCKING WAY" and left. My artist looked at me and asked " Are you gonna scream like a girl?" I told him to "Get on with it".

So he shaves my upper arm and sprays some type of cleaner on it and then finds a copy of the picture I selected from his files. It didnt look like much when he placed it on my arm for a minute to transfer the image, kind of blotchy, like a picture that had been wet and began to run.

 He dipped the needle into the first color and said, "OK, say ouch". I gritted my teeth in anticipation of the intense pain that was sure to follow as he touched my skin.

To my surprize it really didnt hurt all that much. The only way I can describe it is to strike a match, blow it out and touch your skin. I lit up a cigarette( you could smoke in the studios back then) and said " I thought it was supposed to hurt?". He answered. " Naw, but don't tell everyone. In about and hour and a half he was done.

I told him my idea to have a 1/2 sleeve of Dracula done, and he said to research carefully. Not all artists have a gentle touch and it can really hurt, mostly it depends on the person getting it done and their tolerance to pain.

It would be 4 years later I would fly to New Jersey to meet with a man named Shotsie Gorman whose work had been featured in numerous tattoo magazine I had read, and who had traveled all over the world on his talent and the demand for his work.

 Now I would have to send a down payment and mail a copy of what I wanted and wait almost a month before a date was available.

Custom work costs more, and the size of the tatt will make your time in the chair longer, I believe I sat for 3 1/2 hours at about 100 bucks an hour. It was worth evey penny and every minute..

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Here is a blog that will honk off a lotta people.I ride a Harley. I could have purchased a Japper, since Harley didnt have a credit program back then, but that would would have been a compromise and there is too much of that in the world as it is.

The worst excuse for not owning a Harley is " I cant afford it". If ya can afford a japper, ya can afford a Harley.Yeah, I said Japper. A lot of the guys and gals that I ride with call any cycle built by Honda, Yamaha or Kawasaki a Japper..

Ya got a problem with it? TFB..

I sit back and laugh when I hear all the BS stories about Harley's constantly needing work and being undependable.I am now on my 5th Harley and I NEVER had a bit of problem with any of them. I started out on an old cast iron Sporty, it only had 900cc and 4 gears and I hadda carry a bottle of lead additive, but it was a lot of fun.

My current bike is a 99 Ultra Classic, and there is nothing better than filling the tank, cranking up the local rock station and heading out to a poker run or a toy run or no place special..I LOVE to ride..

I really dont care what ya ride. If you are a motorcycle lover that's good enough for me. Just dont tell me how your Japper looks like a Harley and ya made it sound like a Harley, IT AINT HARLEY. 

Why do you think the sale of the Jap bikes is so brisk in the last 10 years? Its because they look like Harleys and they are cheaper than Harleys, how much will ya get on a trade it.

Example. I purchased my last Electra Glide for $9965.00 and had it for 5 years. When I went to trade up on a newer used Glide they gave me $9900.00 with no problem. Will your bike only depreciate $65.00? I dont think so..

 My real complaint is about the jerks that ride those screaming sport bikes. Ya know, the ones that pass you on the highway on one wheel or are doing 80 mph as they weave in and out of traffic.I dont wanna hear how fast your crotch rocket goes. Yeah, ya may beat me to the next bar, but ya look like a monkey humping a football riding it.

 Besides everybody will look when I arrive..Plus I have not met too many ladies that want a ride on the back of a crotch rocket all hunched over with their butts sticking up in the air. I have never lacked for ladies wanting a ride. With my Glide Its like sitting on a leather covered chair, that cruise at 70 mph with no problems.

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It was a very warm day in June I had the day off and was out cruising..As I approached the I-77 and I-480 exchange I saw a very pretty lady standing next to a car that had clearly over heated.

 She was in a business suite with a very short skirt and heels and stuck in the middle of nowhere, and cell phones were not as cheap and plentful as the are now. So I pulled over just a little past her and walked back.

I was sure that she would run screaming at the sight of this big guy dressed all in back approaching her or swing her briefcase at me, but she didnt..I offered assistance by saying I coud go get help or she could ride with me to the Dennys resturant about 10 mins away where she could call her auto club.

 Now I didnt think for one minute she was going to climb on the back of my Glide, but she must have had a touch of Harley lady in her.

She pulled a scarf out of her briefcase and tied her hair back and after placing the case in my Tour Pack she hiked her skirt up to her hips and thew a leg over the seat and placed her arms around me and away we went.

I refused the money she offered and settled for coffee and conversation until the tow truck arrived..She said that she had been out there for about an hour and was passed up by guys riding those big Honda crusiers wearing bermuda shorts and sandals...They made all kinds of comments, but no one stopped..

In parting I got a kiss on the cheek and the comment that REAL MEN ride Harleys...I never saw her again...

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In closing I wonder about the teenage females of this generation. I pull up to a stop sign on a side street, there are hedges on my right. As I am waiting for traffic to pass by a pretty female head pops up from behind the hedges and say " Wow, nice Harley".

I thank her and then she asks, " What's a girl gotta do to get a ride?" "All the girls gotta do is ask", was my answer. So she comes from behind the hedges and is wearing the school uniform of the Catholic Jr High School that is just two blocks away.

" How old are you?", I ask. " I'm 15", she responds. "Is that a problem?" and I say "Yes", and explain that I am old enough to be her Father. I thank her for the compliment and ride away, I look in my mirror to see her flip me off...

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I loved that old house. When I became the project co-chairman I was on the alarm call list because I lived closer than the others, so I was given a set of keys.

 I spent alot of time there. I would open it during the Summer to air it out and learn to navigate it in the pitch black condidtions. I was never frightened of bothered by any spirits there despite the fact others have seem the image of a little girl, the daughter of the former owner and her dog around the property.

One of the funniest nights is when 4 of the little actresses ( all Jr High school) rushed me and held a mirror to my face to see if I had a reflection. When I was able to stop laughing I asked why ,they were concerned.

 They never saw me in the daylght, when they arrived for the evening I was already there and they never saw me leave.That combined with my knowledge of the supernatural, paranormal and vampire lore in general made them suspicious.
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I was being interviewed for an article once while the house was in operation..I explained that at this point ANYTHING would make the more timid patrons jump outta their skin.

The reporter didnt believe me, so I gave a demonstration..That year the make up room was off one of the main corridors, and the entrance door was invisible to the patrons.

So I opened the door and gave a loud roar..I was rewarded with a woman screaming "Oh Lawd, there's another one"..I was doubted no further..
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While driving home from an appearence as  "The Count" I had car trouble. So here I am on the side of the road in a tails tux and full make-up with the hood up trying to figure out what happened

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2 stoners pull up in a van and asked if I needed help. The got the car running again and I gave them 10 dollars for their time. " You guys wanna ask me somthing", I said when I noticed them staring.

" Are you dressed as Dracula?", the one asked. When I answered "Yes". " That's cool", was their answer. It seems they had been doing some "shrooms" and weren't sure what they saw was real. I laughed about it all the way home..
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The funniest Halloween story I have is this. I would sometimes spend a full 8-10 hrs dressed as The Count. I would make appearences at Blood drives, corporate sponsers headquarters and grade schools.

 I have read Halloween stories to kindergarten class and did a question and answer session for 6th graders who were pretending to be radio personalities interviewing Dracula.

I was renting a room at my parents house and the small 1/2 bath off the side door was my make-up room. Well one Friday I arrive home late, my parents had left for a weekend at their cottage so I was alone.

I flip on the light, set my make up case on the sink look in the mirror and there was NO REFLECTION. I turn around and see the green curtain of the side door that matches the wall paper in the bathroom as the side door was still open.

I look back at the mirror. I am stunned, I had crossed over was my first thought. I am standing there very confused when I realize that the mirror was missing. I would find out later that it had broke and my Father had removed it but left the frame up. They had a good laugh when I related the story..

I loved that old house. When I became the project co-chairman I was on the alarm call list because I lived closer than the others, so I was given a set of keys.

 I spent alot of time there. I would open it during the Summer to air it out and learn to navigate it in the pitch black condidtions. I was never frightened of bothered by any spirits there despite the fact others have seem the image of a little girl, the daughter of the former owner and her dog around the property.

One of the funniest nights is when 4 of the little actresses ( all Jr High school) rushed me and held a mirror to my face to see if I had a reflection. When I was able to stop laughing I asked why ,they were concerned.

 They never saw me in the daylght, when they arrived for the evening I was already there and they never saw me leave.That combined with my knowledge of the supernatural, paranormal and vampire lore in general made them suspicious.
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I was being interviewed for an article once while the house was in operation..I explained that at this point ANYTHING would make the more timid patrons jump outta their skin.

The reporter didnt believe me, so I gave a demonstration..That year the make up room was off one of the main corridors, and the entrance door was invisible to the patrons.

So I opened the door and gave a loud roar..I was rewarded with a woman screaming "Oh Lawd, there's another one"..I was doubted no further..
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While driving home from an appearence as  "The Count" I had car trouble. So here I am on the side of the road in a tails tux and full make-up with the hood up trying to figure out what happened

.

2 stoners pull up in a van and asked if I needed help. The got the car running again and I gave them 10 dollars for their time. " You guys wanna ask me somthing", I said when I noticed them staring.

" Are you dressed as Dracula?", the one asked. When I answered "Yes". " That's cool", was their answer. It seems they had been doing some "shrooms" and weren't sure what they saw was real. I laughed about it all the way home..
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The funniest Halloween story I have is this. I would sometimes spend a full 8-10 hrs dressed as The Count. I would make appearences at Blood drives, corporate sponsers headquarters and grade schools.

 I have read Halloween stories to kindergarten class and did a question and answer session for 6th graders who were pretending to be radio personalities interviewing Dracula.

I was renting a room at my parents house and the small 1/2 bath off the side door was my make-up room. Well one Friday I arrive home late, my parents had left for a weekend at their cottage so I was alone.

I flip on the light, set my make up case on the sink look in the mirror and there was NO REFLECTION. I turn around and see the green curtain of the side door that matches the wall paper in the bathroom as the side door was still open.

I look back at the mirror. I am stunned, I had crossed over was my first thought. I am standing there very confused when I realize that the mirror was missing. I would find out later that it had broke and my Father had removed it but left the frame up. They had a good laugh when I related the story..

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While doing a show in PA one year my partner and I stumbled onto what looked to be a 200 year old house..It was HUGE and similar looking to the mansion in Ohio that was turned into a haunted house attraction...

We decided to investigate.All the doors and windows and been boarded over, I don't mean with common plywood but HEAVY stuff...As we were visible to the passing traffic on the main road we went around to the back and discovered a back door with a sliding bolt device made of 2x4's.

My partner was a biker and while not afraid of much said,  "Why bolt it from the outside? What's in there you don't want getting out?" I laughed because I had been in alleged haunted places and was never bothered or frightened so I threw the bolt and pushed open the door to peer inside.

Now houses that sit boarded up can be a little cool inside,no matter how warm it is outside, the one in Ohio was like that..

As we start to walk inside a gust of the COLDEST air short of being outside in the Winter seemed to gust from the inside and PUSHED us back and the door shut..We redid the bolt and ran like hell..
He never spoke of it again for a number of years...Your call...

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Another time while out riding in Sandusky Ohio I discovered and old cemetary, there were stones dating back to the 1700's. I returned to my parents cottage and told everyone what I had found and about a dozen of the others wanted to see it, so I agreed to lead a pack of about 10 folks on motorcycles..

As we were getting ready to depart one of the elders in the group said " Ya'll better be carefull, or one of them ole demons will come outta the ground to get ja"..

I laughed and said in my best Dracula voice that "I fear no common demon"..We must have spent a couple of hours exploring the grounds of that graveyard..Upon returning home everyone had a red rash on their arms but me..My Dad said it was just because they walked where I didnt..I reminded him that I had led the group..Again your call..
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 Halloween. Is there a better holiday? I dont think so. I have loved Halloween since I was a kid, along with the old Universal and Hammer horror movies that only seemed to be shown during that time of year. In 1972 the Cleveland Jaycees leased a deserted 110 year old mansion on city property and converted it into a haunted house attraction.

 I heard the radio announcements for it the day after it opened and I felt a strong desire to be part of it. There were only 2 other such projects in the city at that time, College Town and The Hudson Haunted house, both were too far away for me to join.

 This one was real close and as I was unemployeed but had saved some money I went looking and found it the next day. I cannot describe the rush I felt just looking at it in broad daylight. The security officer on duty gave me a few numbers to call and after about a dozen calls I got an invite to join them.

 I stared out in Hell that night as the actor that played the Devil was out sick,  I really wanted to play Dracula. They however had an excellent actor that bore a striking resemblance to actor Christopher Lee, so I spent the night in Hell and had a blast. On the second night I filled in the funeral parlor room..They had 2 coffins and a scary looking mortician..

One of the coffins only had a arm that hung outside and the other had a monster that would jump out..I was the arm that night..They made up my hand and arm and it looked real gory..Well I must have pulled my arm in at some point and fell asleep..I awoke to a flashlight in my face and 3 cops staring at me along with an ambulance crew and the old man that was from the security guard service that watched the place at night..He got curious and looked in the coffin and then ran for the phone "Man, I though you was dead" was his comment.

 That month and year are among the best memories I have. I mean how many people can say they lost their virginity in the basement of a haunted house on Halloween??
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Anyone that has ever worked a Haunted House project will tell you that its not all putting on costumes, make up and scaring people, There is so much more.

 Traffic patterns have to be planned ,sets to be built and decorated, lighting and sound added..Adherence to city safety ordinances, inspections by the Fire Marshall and the necessary measures taken to correct problems discovered..I am sure the larger and more hi-tech houses have their own share of unique problems.

 We started out with only 12 rooms and finally added more by cutting a hole in the floor and adding stairs to give us a real cellar and 3 floors.

It's almost a full time job except its all volunteer work .Now one year when I was the chairman I was unemployeed again and could devote my full attentions to finishing the project..Well about one day out from opening I was told by the Jaycee President that he would be showing the media through around 5PM today.

I arrived early and did alot of touch up work, when fatigue finally caught up to me I looked for a place to take a snooze..You guessed it, I chose one of the coffins in the Dracula crypt and fell sound asleep..So the JC president and media arrived and began their tour and I am totally unaware of it.

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I didnt always land a principal role, I've been in plays where I have had less than 10 lines. It doesn't matter, theater is theater. I've been a stage manager and assisted with props and worked the spotlight.

  After Dracula closed I auditioned at another theater for their Winter show. It was a comedy musical set in a retirement home. Al,the actor who played Renfield showed up at the auditions with me. Our attempts to sound like old men made the director and some of the older actors laugh out loud.

Al asked if we could do Dracula and Renfield at the retirement home, more laughter. I was working as a rent-a-cop at the time and was dressed to go to my job after auditions.

 I asked to try once more and as I started to speak I swept my coat back in gunfighter style so they could  see my weapon, this drew more laugher and that finished us. I was offered a small role which I accepted.

 Since I did not have a major part I was not required to be at every rehersal until Hell Week, and only one rehersal stands out in my mind, that's the one where I saw the girl doing the chorography walk by in her leotards, tights and heels.

She was a very pretty blond whose outstanding figure was usually hidden under jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. Anyway I was sitting in a folding chair with one leg crossed over the other at the ankle. My ankle is on my knee and my head in my hand, the elbow of the arm supporting my head was rested against the knee of crossed leg. Can ya see the image in your head?

 As she walked by I opened my eyes wide and showed a big smile and fell to the floor without breaking position and stayed that way for a few seconds. I was much younger back then and could do these kind of physical stunts. The director was the only one that saw it and he laughed so hard that he almost chocked.
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One of the least talked about but more pleasureable aspects of community theater or any live theater for that matter is the  "show-mance".

 It is what is sounds like, an affair de amore that usually lasts for the lenght of the rehersals and production. You walk into a strange theater and you bump into a member of the opposite sex and WHAM, instant attraction.

 It sometimes happens between two single people,  but usually one is married. While the two involved are happy the rest of the cast will spend their time gossiping about it. Even if they are only sitting having drinks and chatting, the firtile imaginations of the cast will run wild.

Sometimes it come back to haunt you. A good buddy of mine had a show-mance that lasted for a few years after their show closed. He and his lady friend got together a few times a week and had great sex and that was it.

  Well 3 years later he lands a principal role in another show and his little show-mance winds up in the supporting cast, and well as you probably guessed he meets another FANTASTIC lady who was also cast in a principal role, and the bells, whistles and fireworks go off, as he put it.

 And as you probably guessed his first show-mance is not real happy and becomes jealous. She starts throwing temper tantrums and in general disrupting the rehersals. Thankfully the director was a longtime friend of hers and got her to mellow out by threatening to replace her.

The show had a great run and when production folds my buddy and his newest lady bid each other farewell and head off into the sunset in different directions never to see each other again.

My bud told me that he found himself back in the arms and bed of his first show-mance after she offered an apology by phone and invite him over for coffee, and answerd her door wearing her newest Victoria Secret nightie. 

So if you are luckly enough to have show-mance, enjoy it while it lasts. If you're in a production where you know one is going on and you know about it, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF. Why upset someone's momentary happiness because you're jealous..Now before any of you wonder if I ever had a show-mance, the answer is YES. She was a stunning lady who saw me in Dracula and let it be known over cocktails that she would like nothing better than Dracula to "visit her" boudoir. 

 Thankfully it was October, so the sight of a man in full tails, opera cape and vampire makeup knocking at a ladies door at night was not a big deal..Nuff said..

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