Three friends on the internet were asked, 'When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?'
Frank said: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband,a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.'
Elvis commented: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.'
The Kman said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'

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An elderly couple
had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What's the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

A man
was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'

A little old man
shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

Tags: 3 OF 3.

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                  Tough Love.

Most people today think it improper to discipline children,
so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they
have had one of 'those moments.'

Since I'm a pilot, one that I have found very effective is
for me to just take the child for a flight during which I
say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect
on his or her behavior. I don't know whether it's the steady
vibration from the engines, or just the time away from any
distractions such as TV, video games, computer, iPod, etc.

Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving
after our flight together. I believe that eye to eye contact
during these sessions is an important element in achieving
the desired results.

 I've included a photo below of one of
my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique...
Should work with grandkids also.

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