Top 10 Do's & Don'ts at a High School Reunion
by Blythe Jewell
1. DO stay in touch with at least two people from high school. The first one is the person you will force to go with you to the reunion so you’re not sans high school clique. The second is your back-up, in case the first refuses or gets sick or dies or something.
2. DON’T wear the tube dress. Unless you’re cool with holding your boobs in all night.
3. DON’T take your husband if he’s the loud talker who blurts inappropriate things in already-uncomfortable situations.
4. If you fail to follow #3, DON’T be surprised at the hideous looks you receive when your husband shouts, “Jesus your classmates all look like they’re in their FIFTIES!†the second you walk in.
5. DO limit your alcohol intake. I CANNOT STRESS THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS ENOUGH.
6. If you fail to follow #5, DON’T talk to other people.
7. If you fail to follow numbers 5 and 6, DO listen carefully to what other people are saying to you. When that guy you had a crush on senior year tells you he’s now in the Marines and stationed in “Guantanamo,†be sure he didn’t actually say “Quantico†(as in Virginia) before you spend the rest of the conversation expressing concern for his safety in Cuba.
8. DON’T assume the gender of someone’s child, when complimenting them on their family photos. Trust me on this.
9. DON’T remind everyone of your most embarrassing high school memories. Most of your classmates had completely forgotten about that time you accidentally handed a tampon to the captain of the football team when he asked to borrow a pen in the hallway. Until YOU just reminded them.
10. At the end of the evening, when everyone poses for the class picture and you’re five cocktails in, DO remember to hold your boobs in the tube dress.
Tags: Funny, Lists, Do's, Don'ts, High School Reunion
