About Me…
{~ Blowing bubbles and daydreaming only gets us so far.  Ah, life in the left lane and online dating...'nothing says romance like the Internet ~ indeed, it has come to this...{grin.}   So, it is here on Christmas eve as I take my nightly walk strolling away from my house, around a few blocks, and, on my return back home, I stop and look from a distance at my truck in the driveway...I remember and honor the laughter and the tears it has sheltered...I say a silent prayer for ones no longer riding under it's roof by my side...May they be safe and warm and happy...}

I suppose it would help you to understand a bit about who I am?  As I sit here thinking about my past and all the memories buried inside my mind, my heart and the deepest of my soul, I have come to realize that there are still so many things in my life that I've yet to experience.  I always thought I'd known true love and passion, but now I question their existence in my life.  I've loved and been loved (…??), I've felt passion (although short lived it seemed) and I've felt my heart skip a beat when someone special looked into my eyes, held my hand and spoke my name.  I have also felt the pain of love and what I believed a broken heart, as well as feeling the emotional abuse of someone I had thought loved me.  I've loved some and liked many in my life, but have yet to find the girl that begins where I end...and vice versa.  I've been blessed to have met several "almosts" and "not quites", but I have never found that someone who can LOVE...'not the way I want to be loved; on a deep, life-changing and unbreakable level.  Ideally, I’d love to find the girl of my dreams; that sweetheart with whom growing old with will be worth spending all my remaining days.  That one, whom along with me, we'd read each other’s story by studying our faces...each crease a chapter; etched memories of love and laughter...and loss.  I have thought in the past that I had found this, but I was mistaken and I've come to better understand my part in the failure of those relationships.  (It is an irony, that from endings, one learns about and becomes a better self...but then cannot find another to share it with...chuckle.) 

I've always taken honesty as a given. (‘Perhaps, I shouldn’t be so naive??)   I used to perceive this meeting someone so much more simplistically; all I needed in another was a cute face...'now I need so much more.  I used to think I wanted certain things...'now I'm not so sure.  I used to think a lot of things and then I grew up...or, so it seems.   (I don't so much always like this being an adult gig like I thought I might.  When we were young, we knew what to do...we were driven to learn to walk, run, talk...we were driven to love; perhaps to bear young.  What drives us now and what are we to learn?  Elders were once valued for the wisdom they shared; who hears our stories now…??)   On the whole, I've come to believe that life is fairly simple; it's we as human beings that tend to complicate it.  I seemed to think when I was younger that when I matured everything would get much easier and fall right into place.  A lot of things have fallen into place, just not in that "love" category.  (I suppose just writing this is a personal growth process and that I'm not surprised the whole method isn't any easier...if it were, then wouldn't it somehow, perhaps, lose it's value..."easy come, easy go", right?)   I believe in truthfulness and that unless you know yourself well, you can't really know someone else...it’s a compatibility thing.  Understandably then, I desire meeting a woman who is like me on many levels...this is not rooted in narcissism, but rather in wanting someone with a similar lifestyle and values...('you and I having things in common, but we're not exactly alike...that would be a snooze.)   I think that people are often intrigued by things in others that they’re not while often simultaneously being attracted also to (and perhaps better suited for) people who are very similar with whom they share more common interests with and are more apt to feel understands them...I'm not all that different.   With all that said, I'm going to tell you about me and hope that we can figure out if the Venn diagram of our lives has that balanced dynamic...which, of course, ideally, is something people figure out in person, over time.   Here on my page, I will share my soul with all those that can relate...let's hope that I have done it well enough to attract the one who can touch my heart, as I do hers.  So, here within lies a broad introduction to the contradiction that is me...(if you don't like what I have expressed here, it's okay...we will both live to type and laugh another day, LOL... :)

This is quite a procedure; this reaching out and risking one's heart again.  'Writing, introspecting then re-writing...'trying to clearly state who we are while being truthful about what type of person we find our self most attracted to.  'Seems almost ridiculous to be looking for something so precise in such a broad media...(but hey, why not?  What's to lose??)   Now, there's a great deal that I could write about, but a large portion seems inappropriate to write here.  The entire point of this is to leave you intrigued and wanting to get to know me more, but if I tell you too much about myself, you may be turned off.  However, if I don't tell you enough, you may not even bother...what a catch twenty-two!!   Behind these words you will find someone who enjoys the beauty of nature and tries to respect all living things.  Actually, I can say I have both: an urban mentality, yet I am especially connected to nature and the land.  My internal batteries are solar powered, and I need to be out in the sunshine and fresh air.   I like...(no)...LOVE to be outdoors...especially at the beach!!  ('Take me to a beach and I am in heaven; even just to sit and watch the waves, listening to them hit the rocks and the sand.)  I always enjoy going to the coast and walking the shore looking for pieces of bottle sea glass, driftwood, sea stones or whatever else washes in with the tide...(and I especially love the ocean during cold or stormy weather!!)  I like strolling on the beach, but it's so much better when you have someone's cold hand to hold and warm along that same walk.  I enjoy so much about the ocean and its shores and feel water always grounds and inspires me and tells me things inside my soul.  I appreciate the rhythm of the sea, its pounding waves and find the water healing.  I think that beaches are some of the last real places left on this Earth.  There is no changing of the waves…the water will still crash and taste salty indefinitely and the sky overhead can never be changed to human benefit, like so many things that can and have been.  The Earth can be so many things, yet we sometimes only see a couple of these, unless we open our eyes towards seeing what the real, silent beauty of this universe is.  Having grown up near the ocean and now living here in the desert, I am SO longing for the beach.  (I swear, once I firmly plant both my feet again in warm, soft, beach sand, I'll never live away from coastal shores again...ever.)   I love catching the gleaming sun setting; looking out onto the "big-screen" movie that eternally plays out reflecting off the wet sand at the shore’s edge...and I especially love hearing the ocean and looking at the moon's dancing glimmer atop the mystique of darkened night waters...of course not alone!   (You do you like the beach, don’t you?   Liking the sea is a must…I can't imagine being around a human being who doesn't like the ocean.  If you didn’t get the vibe, I LOVE being outdoors...it suits me just fine! :)   

Personally speaking, I am someone who believes in being open by "putting it out there"...(people can't relate to what we do not say.)  I feel that if we are all a bit more open (...open minded, open hearted...), then the chances of finding our special someone are enhanced, tenfold.  Additionally, it is equally important to know our own truths and to personally take our own time to discover what really matters to each of us at our core levels...everything in balance!!  After all, life is an eternal quest about knowing oneself.  (“You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd…")   I am fairly introverted and do a lot of thinking on my own; so needless to say, I am better one on one than in large groups.  Usually, I will prefer very quiet over very loud (…unless it's music in the car…grin); generally I don't like to be over-stimulated or feel numbed by life or people.  I am selective and I value being alone over interacting with the wrong person.  I value intimate relationships like no one else I've ever met.  I also won't deny that the kind of relationships (of any type) I seek foster personal and mutual growth.  I am attracted to intellect more than anything else and seek to meet a woman who is intelligent, but not condescending; perhaps someone with quiet confidence and who’s in search of something deeper in life.  As for being a gay woman, I see myself looking a bit like the girl next door and can be deceptively shy at first (which makes me seem more pensive and mysterious than I really am), but underneath you'll find a surprising edge.  Being relatively shy by nature, I would like to meet some people who share some similar qualities with me…but not all.   I sort of like to be pushed out of my comfort zone from time to time because I think it's important to keep an open mind and see life for what it is.  (I am somewhat of a paradox because as much as I want to fade off into the background, I wouldn't mind making an appearance every now and then…grin.)  I'm a rather quiet person around new people, so I don't do so well in the traditional meeting situations.   I'll begin by saying I am quite reserved around the topic of meeting.  (I wish I could allude a confidence that some can do. ‘Maybe I just do not have enough experience??)  A “first date” is ridiculously apt to bring out my shyness, but once we talk a bit and get to know each other more, it all likely washes away.  If you can handle and understand this then as our friendship grows you will get to see the fun, loving, quality person that I am.  (So, if you like what you see please be as persistent as possible  :) 

Typically for me, I tend to be more the type of person who prefers the shadows to the limelight, but I'm understanding if the other person in my life desires being more in the forefront, as long as there’s a mutual understanding of each other's needs and we're able to meet up back in the middle somewhere.  I've been told more than once that I don't fit the stereotypical lesbian mold, and honestly, hearing this truly pleased me.  (I'm not a girly girl, but there's no butch lesbian here…, as I really, REALLY dislike that label.)   I am fairly attractive in a smart girl kind of way...relatively on the Earthy, cosmopolitan-minded, "sporty, tomboy, blue-jean femme with a purse, but without make-up" side of the spectrum, but I can definitely get my hands dirty when the task calls for it.  (That's why they make soap and water!)   I am fairly athletic and active and yes…I do wear earrings; just not dangly ones…but earrings...(think: less is more :)  I guess I could be described as being mostly femme with a tomboyish twist at times...(and yes, all of the above are what I'm most attracted to, as well.)  I have my girly days and I have my days where I just feel completely tomboyish and I'll look the part with my serious, but soft, tomboy side that stems from years of playing and being around athletics and the outdoors.  For me, I prefer the casual and sporty type of clothing, because, hell...I'm sporty (LOL, no big secret here.)  I am a quintessential L.L. Bean® type of girl; typically the jeans, t-shirts, buttoned-down collar shirts oxfords/sneaker type.  (You won't ever catch me wearing stiletto’s...ever.)   I take care of my self so that I always smell and feel fresh and clean.  However, I love to play outside, garden, go to the beach, hike and find other activities to get dirty in, so I can have that excuse to take a long, hot shower at the end of the day and then start all over again.  I like to stay in shape, try to eat healthier and make sound decisions.  My health is of high value to me and I admire a woman that respects her body and health, too; a woman who is attractive, perhaps thinner and well preserved.  Honestly speaking, I'm really not into those so-called labels of boi, womyn and lipstick lesbian, and though I don't fit into society's narrow definition of beautiful, (nor even truly those small, little boxes it's labeled "butch" or "femme"), I am someone who's appeal and outer beauty is dimmed by my inner beauty.  (What ever happened to just saying you're either really feminine or really tomboyish?  ‘Or maybe a combination of both?  â€˜Better yet, how 'bout just having your own style?  Now, that's a concept. ;)  Although I enjoy being a female, I am really not into the bling and glitz of it all, nor do I subscribe into the societal standards of femininity.   Regardless, (if we must label), I'd like to think I fall on the "femme" side of things, though I am not wrapped up in my appearance.  While I don't wear make up (mostly because I don't know how to purchase or apply it and it costs too much), in a low-key manner, I clean up nicely on those random occasions.   I am wonderfully feminine inside my soft, tomboyish shell and can sometimes have a bit of a rebel attitude, but am really a softie at heart...I search for those who can relate.   (Hmm…what else…"'Not interested in lipstick lesbians?"..."Chap Stick", you say??..."Yeah", that'll work.  So, hopefully all that should've given you the idea...??  Grin. :) 

Overall, I’ve stayed single by choice for much of the time, but now lately, I'm not digging this so much anymore.  (I used to think waking up to my own space wasn't so bad until, I did...day, after day, after day...interminably.  I used to think freedom was all you needed, and then I found loneliness...I used to think loneliness was other people, until it found me.  I used to think the greener grass was the greenest…now, though it's green, it’s is just that…green.   I used to see things much differently; then again, I've also noticed how long my shadow has begun to reach...)   It's well past the time to get into something permanent, thriving, satisfying and reasonably healthy.   I've arrived at realizing "later" has got to be "now," but frankly, I don't want to "settle down"; I want to get going with the girl of my dreams!   I would love to stop being the fish that can't get caught and finally land with someone special...a girl who could hold an important place in my future, or in the very least, be a good friend.   I am not necessarily in a rush to get into anything serious overnight, but the staunch Capricorn heart that beats within, longs for not only a friend, but more when and if the feel is right.  I tend to be pretty private, but am willing to open up to those who I feel safe around.  People I meet have to earn my loyalty and I will respect them if they will respect me.  (I don't let many people in, but once they're in, they're usually in forever.)   I suppose a couple of the more important, main qualities I would seek in a relationship are the ability to communicate on both ends (the speaking and listening sides, of course) and the ability to admit when one is wrong is highly prized, as well.  I truly believe that how you treat people, how you live your life and the relationships you cherish say more about your character than anything else and that a relationship can be close to perfect as long as it is built around trust, honesty, respect and most importantly…communication.   I'm easily pleased but, not easily impressed...I am grounded, have ethics & morals and desire the same in others. 

I love to laugh and truly appreciate being around real down to Earth people who enjoy the simple things in life, but who are not simple minded...('big difference.)   I am younger in some ways...'older in others.  I can live inside my head a lot of the time; as there are times I can be both lighthearted and kid-like in finding wonder in small things and an old soul who sometimes tends to have a heavy head filled with deep thoughts.  I am very connected with the child within me; I can be both goofy and very philosophical and can switch back and forth as needed.  I have an alternate reality I lose myself in from time to time; yet, I am a realist in the same breath.  I enjoy kids and being a kid.  We all need to keep our inner child alive and nurture our own curiosity.  When that inner child fades, sadness can set in.  (My inner tomboy sits next to my inner child; they play together when I'm not looking (...grin.)  Though likely not an easy find, I believe we all have a soul mate...our other half...our best friend.  'You go together like milk 'n' cereal; the person you've been waiting your entire life to find.  The person that once you've found them, you could not ever imagine being without…'someone who draws us in from "hello" and knows the depth of our soul; who makes our heart race just with a phone call and whom a kiss from can just about wash away the day...'simply put, someone who just "gets us" and isn't out to change us (...and when we are ready, at the level of discovering our "real" selves, this person shall come into our lives.)   As you'll probably be able to tell, I am kind of old-fashioned in some respects...'so please have an understanding of romance, as I am in love with the simpler ways and little things in life…it just feels good!  ('Meet a girl I like, focus just on the one person and definitely, not the type that will cut and run when things aren't picture perfect.  ‘So, sue me.  What can I say?  I'm a hard core romantic. :)  Serial dating has never been my thing; I can multi-task at work, but I just can’t at love.  ('Sorry, I take it personal. :) 

I welcome the whole flirting eyes, butterflies, smiles and warm, fuzzy feelings deep within...'no such thing as too much!   I enjoy making the people I love feel happy, important, and special...I hope for that day to just be able to make my girl a sack lunch to take to work...sappy, this I know :)  I contradict myself at times in the way that I am a free-spirit, yet I desire conventional stability.  As much as I appreciate going out, I equally enjoy being at home and am highly domesticated…(I'm clean without being a freak .:)  I enjoy most of the typical things that go into making a house a warm and happy home; a house-wife type, all the way...(shrugs), homemaker-at-heart, always, but I know how and don't mind making my own dollar to get those things I desire.  (Call me crazy, I know, but)...one of my favorite things to do on a day off is laundry; I'm good at it, it smells good and reminds me of being a kid and watching my mom do laundry.  I'm sure a psychologist will have something to say about it, but at the very least I always have clean socks (smirk ;).  I want to believe that there are those, too, who still believe in the art of sweeping a woman off her feet by using her mind and heart instead of her body parts.  I thought (or  hoped??) there was more to being a lesbian than just sex and I still hold on to that hope, but the more women...(no correct that)..."girls" I meet, the less I'm believing.  (What happened to getting to know a person and going through all the little stages of getting to know each other?  What happened to falling in love and intimately sharing yourselves together because it actually meant something??  In the long run, all those little moments will be what counts towards making a successful relationship, or actually, even a friendship.)   I am an old soul romantic, hopelessly and I try to take little for granted...(I can find beauty in rust or a wrinkle.)   In a relationship, (be it brand new or aged by the years), I still believe that compliments are most meaningful when shared, holding hands should happen often, coming up behind me and putting your arms around me as I'm doing some sort of "domestic-Goddess" chore should feel natural and waiting from across the room, glancing so our eyes may meet just so I can smile at you, should excite you.  ('This list goes on and on...'never take these things for granted...'never take me for granted.)   So now...it's the little things in life that are of valuable to me; not primarily money and looking perfect, but rather the quality of one's heart.  I value honesty more than money or position and cherish those who honor their word and understand what integrity means.  (When you are and find an honest individual...you are rich.)   

While I can appreciate the finer things in life (…I love room service and high thread-count sheets, but dislike pretense… :), I recognize that these things are, just that, things...not the end-all.   ("We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give..." ~ Sir Winston Churchill)  Though I can enjoy nice things in life, I am not impressed much with stuff, money or social status...it IS possible, yes, to be rich, yet bankrupt at the same time.  Income and career have their place for the right reasons, yet how often have we met people using their positions and incomes in defining "who they are"; when really deep inside they're empty of themselves, but full of all things serving as distractions...a way to AVOID focusing on living meaningful lives that are real; lives in which they're truly happy?   Do they try to keep up with the Jones' OR are they being true to their own heart's desires??   Do they take time to appreciate the people in their lives OR are they so busy making a living that they are forgetting to live?  (It does often leave me wondering why those who are in the thickest throes of dysfunction are completely unaware of it or what it even is??)  I find it most important to seek out in life the qualities well beyond the veil.  Unfortunately, no matter how beautiful someone is on the inside, we are still judged by what's on the outside...yet, we are human and flaws are inevitable.  Ego must be removed in order to find that perfect union between two spirits; recognizing the inner beauty that resides in all of us...a light so bright you cannot help, but be drawn to it.  Look past the flesh to what really matters.  The thing here is, not everything is as it seems on the surface.  If we'd only take the time to delve deeper...'perhaps, peeling some layers away, we might just discover something entirely different from any of our pre-conceived notions.   And I say "we" because I've been guilty of the same fault in the past.  'Something I'm presently working on changing within myself.   When we come to the end of this journey, our real treasures will be those we hold in our heart and how we are esteemed in the hearts of others.  (...How I do enjoy the little things in life!) 

Needless to say, typically I am not a ton-of-fun when it comes to polarized prosaic chit-chat, of which I find most prevalent in our “divide, conquer and spin society”.   I am more likely to get "lit" either talking about our species and its collective perceptions of reality or sitting watching a night sky and listening to a train race by rather than catching the latest episode of Jersey Shore (…real life is my reality t.v.)  Politically…you could say I’m socially liberal and moderately fiscally conservative, though lately sometimes it feels I no longer have a definitive classification, but I imagine still, it would be leaning left (…though I am not rabid about this and can appreciate some things conservative...but not many! :)  I’d consider joining the Libertarian party if the over half of them were not crazy and organizing it was not like herding cats.)  I attribute my growth, both in character and spiritually, as a result of the people I’ve met over the years and the experiences I’ve encountered in my life.  I've taken a few wrong turns to get where I am at and some choices I've made haven’t really worked so well, but they’ve led me to here, none-the-less and I’ve learned from them (...heck, in hindsight, I've spent a lot of time chuckling over myself...(grin.)   I am now older, wiser and more mature than I ever thought I could be at twenty-one.  My experience comes in many forms; both good & rewarding and unfortunate & humbling. Up 'til now I've lived life one day at a time…my future is as much of a mystery as yours (...so here, if you rush me, push me, belittle me or hurt me it's probable I'll run and likely I will not come back.)  Although I am open to a serious relationship, I want to make it clear that I don't like rushing into anything.  I want to get to know you and become your friend before developing anything serious.   I’ve had my share of life's trauma, baggage and drama, but I am actively trying to work through most of it.  I’ve been bumped several times, but I’ve always rebounded back.  A broken heart (or two) later has taught me some important lessons that frankly I never really wanted to learn...('have bumps and bruises from life, but am not broken.)  I’ve been in love a couple times, so I know what it is, but when these ended, I was left a bit head shy, as in each was excruciatingly painful.  These relations were some time ago, but after internally working through the remnants of the last relationship, I’m coming to feel like I have been given a new lease on life.  It was totally unexpected, that some beautiful she-devil from my past would creep back into my life, and heart.  She wasn't really a she-devil, (a bit too nice for that), yet the indifference with which she cast me aside when it ended was kind of wicked.  This was some time ago, and my heart has healed, but instead of falling back into some defensive kind of nap, my heart remains awake and ready to open itself should there be a future connection. 

Being single has allowed me the chance for personal introspection that I’ve been able to utilize as an opportunity to better focus on my life and health.   I believe this change has strengthened my character and helped make me a better person.  In some ways, I’m happier now where I’m at in life and have a better idea where I’m going.  Now I'm ready get back on that horse, so to speak, and put my attention elsewhere.   So here…it’s my hope to someday meet a mature woman with whom we could share our pasts with understanding and compassion and a sense of knowing that with this extraordinary gift of life comes with it, twists and turns.  Honestly, I’m tired from all the B.S. and just wanting a forever, loving companionship.  I want to hold hands with you when we're 70; I want you to lay your head upon me and play with your grays and tell you, “Baby you got some more”…(smirk.)  I want to grow older together with dignity and grace and behind the wrinkles, our shortened strides and slower movement, a waltz of dizzying possibilities and a twinkle of reflective eyes that says “I'm so glad I picked you for this journey."  We will carry the love of a life built together with hearts filled to the brim to fuel our sustenance as sunsets dwindle and stars fall from the sky.  Written with hope, that out there in the endless revolving door of humanity of smiling strangers and souls that need lifting, is one extraordinary woman who (sings on road trips, cries at movies, makes good guacamole, and) is oh so tired of being misunderstood.  

I am someone who has been known to express a wider range of emotions and I appreciate a woman who can be open and calmly expressive with her feeling and thoughts, too.  I am not a suppressor of feelings and emotions; I enjoy open and honest communication and place a high value on loyalty.   I'm at a point in my life where I trust slowly, but love intensely (...when I feel it's deserved.)   I have an East Coast edge and my religion is based on a personal moral compass.  I am a very realistic and honest person...you can't know me without getting to know your self better...’some cannot handle this.  I’ve realized the importance from the positive influence of unguarded, straight-forward people in my life.  It’s become now, very important in my life to surround myself with those who are reasonably positive, supportive, realistic in thinking and following some sort of spiritual path (and by this, I don't mean the whole "God thing", but rather) caring for their body, mind and spirit…people who are grounded balance me.  So...I'd really hope to find someone who's trying to follow some sort of regular spiritual practice of some sort in their everyday life and who's committed to their growth with this work...and, of course, their play, as well. ;)  I identify more with spiritual (without religion) and am not a follower of mainstream, organized religion nor interested in being preached to.  I tend to believe most organized religions seem to limit and diminish our divine power within, so more unconventional spiritual beliefs are what I tend to gravitate to most, as I believe in power from within instead of power over.  (I've always been more of the "take-what-feels-true-from-all-schools-of-thought" type...especially when taking into account, all possibilities when considering what we'll experience after we leave this life.)   I do believe there is one force of energy that permeates the world…a Divine creative source that we are all a part of…and in essence, we are one with it, as well as one with each other (...just at different levels.)  Though I am not a stoutly religious person, there are days when I believe Heaven and Hell are co-existing right here on earth.   I also believe that in Life's perverse little ways, the inconsiderate things we do to others usually do return bringing damage to us in some way.   (So now...if you are right wing nut, voted for McCain or have a need to convert me to your spiritual orientation, please pass me by...LOL:)

I welcome meeting that someone someday that is willing to use the Internet to get off of the Internet and who would like to spend time together effortlessly rather than being on a computer most of the time searching for just that right one...do you relate??   (For many, we may have even already met her or had her in our lives, but gave in and allowed ourselves to become diverted and too all consumed by all other obligations...)   So often lately in our busy, modern world, (between the vast array of external intrusions and the occasional limited listening interest outside of oneself), the art and beauty of quality communication amongst people as a whole, is being pushed to the limit.  'Being all pre-occupied and high-speed, rarely are genuine connections with depth and sincerity being experienced.  (I think if we're honest with ourselves, we would recognize that these sites really serve best as distractions from whatever we're sorting through in our daily lives.  Because of distance, it's really not practical to expect much more than friendship and frolic from those we find appealing...'just the way it is.  And while it's easy to think otherwise and develop an emotional tie, the fact remains that if Ms. Right were to sit down next to you at lunch today, you'd quickly excuse your electronic ties here because human nature can't pass on what's in front of us...)   In my life, I'm finding that listening is the first duty of love, and I'm arriving, through much inner work, at a state where I can do this well.  I've found that people who are good listeners (those truly interested in grasping what the other is conveying), typically remain long standing, good friends and it's from them I'm learning, so that I am a better listener, myself.   I am one who values patience...being in the moment and not rushing, nor allowing ourselves to become prisoners to our own electronic technology with iPods or phones permanently plugged into our heads.  I tend to frown upon those with attention deficit disorders who can't go under stimulated for 45 seconds...grin!  (Please…you shouldn't be addicted to your cell phone.  These days nothing drives me more crazy than those who have to text and/or talk all the time.)   I enjoy feeling the connection with those I associate with; communicating more ol' school style...(so send me a smoke signal like the Indians did...grin.)  

(continued below...)

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About Me, pt. 2…:

I believe in making room for that someone you’re dating, so for me this is not a “fill-a-void” sort of activity.  Let's be honest...as we mature, it's harder to break out of our habits and to include someone new in our routines.  (So many people claim that they are looking for someone, but are they willing to bother changing things around a bit to see more of someone they like?)  From a surface level, we as humans so easily and often can speak our desire for another’s company to grace our lives with little thought as to have we kept space and are we fully willing to truly open ourselves and our lives to make room for this other person to enter our space?  We have to wonder have we the time and both the physical and emotional space for another to enter our lives?   We might say we want a "connection" (yet at the same time fearing it) we avoid any real emotional intimacy with another and play it safe; often staying in unfavorable emotionally inaccessible situations that bring us anything, but feelings of "safe" and "connectedness"...all the while turning away from anyone capable of reaching us at our soul level...’rather perplexing?   How can one expect to build a functional relationship for them self if they're continually allowing personal overload by giving away/handing over their own time; only to become overwhelmed by the excessive demands of those others who ask far too much?   From observation I have learned "if people aren't good at loving themselves, they'll have a difficult time loving anyone, since they’ll resent the time and energy given to another person that they aren't even giving themselves."  (I'm not looking for "leftovers" or to be “second fiddle” in someone’s life, but prefer to be part of the "main course"; whether that be forever or just for "our time" together...with you, or with you and your family, it's alright to be who you are and hopefully we enjoy our time together, be it a day or a lifetime.)  Everything we are in this world is okay with each other...we have come to realize that life's real treasures do not lie in this material plane; they can neither be bought nor sold nor coveted by the masses.  I understand the importance of work and career, but I appreciate women who desire balance in their lives and know how to make time for themselves, just the same.  (Personally speaking, I’m striving to shake off materialism and my work is what I do because I'm a responsible adult; if I won the lottery, I'd probably be happily unemployed. :)  I think careers are wonderful, but when the day is done, we still have to know who we are deep inside.  We live in fast-paced times.  (‘Maybe we’re ready to see something with a more human element?)  In this busy world it is nice to take some time out to create some nourishment and comfort...the main thing here is we enjoy being with each other.  Like the skilled Japanese pottery-maker whose work is valued for its trademark blemishes, I thrive on life's imperfections and I'll love you for who you are, not who you might be someday.  I don’t really care so much if you're a human doing as much as a human being, as there is more to life than increasing its speed.  ("...Don't worry, for I have faith that underneath all of that stress is an open heart and a willingness to live that life that you know you could, if you just could break free from running in place in the same old rut you've been in...")  

I've got some still waters that run deep, but they can also bubble and flow merrily along the cascading stream.  I'm a sucker for the creative type with immaculate grammar and spelling…I have a high regard for people who can write, spell and communicate effectively.  While I am not a champion grammartician, I do still appreciate good punctuation and capitalization from someone who can compose a complete sentence without too many emoticons, text style messages or using all caps.  Please know the difference between to, too, two and other specifics of the English language.  Just because you may not have a PhD, should not mean you do not know how to spell.  Truly, my opinion here is "there's a time and place" for playfully writing and knowingly being able to differentiate when and how to switch gears...if it's worth writing, then it's worth writing well.  'Using numbers and abbreviations instead of words causes me to reflexively delete messages...example: “how r u. im looking 4sum1 special 2”.   (“dood, this is totily not atractiv 2 me At aLL”...'so don't make me do that to you.  Hint: there's this thing called "spell-check." :)   Ideally, my desire is meeting a best friend while co-creating a partnership, on all levels equal and balanced with someone who isn't habituated, but rather who's still open and welcomes growth in life (and, dare I say??)...love.   In other words, the idea of perpetually growing up and growing older with someone is a turn on.  I believe that in a healthy relationship, each partner adds to the success of and is the greatest fan and supporter of the other, though as individuals, each success is not dependent on the other, but only enhanced by it.  Let's find beauty in each other's imperfections and endear what others never understood...let's find laughter and peace in each other's arms and comfort each other when we're at our lowest and celebrate each other when we're at our highest.   Let's try seeing each other daily with fresh eyes...allowing each other to be someone completely new...to pursue a new part of who you think you might want to be, without holding each other back. (You know how people tend to decide on who someone is and "that's that"??)   Let's support each other in freedom and all that we can or want to be, both individually and mutually...having initial common interests are great, but let's grow and learn new things together, as well. 

I am hoping for someone to come into my life that understands: Love is the will to extend oneself for spiritual growth.  (Genuinely loving people are, by definition, growing people.)  I am into changing my/our world/reality and I believe this can be done through the healing of my/our mind(s) reaching critical mass to heal the collective (...on the idea of the "Hundredth Monkey Theory".)   I am caring and respectful and communicate quite well.  I enjoy quiet, meaningful moments with the people in my life and I have super compassion for the softest spots we all seem to have.  If there was ever someone who makes the extra effort to understand you, and makes you feel more than yourself, I’m the one.  I’m not perfect, but you’ll always get my best.  (I have feelings and try to embrace them before moving on, so if someone's crying, I never say "It's okay"; I try to say things like "That's really sad" or "I can feel you are really hurt" or something fitting.)   Sharing of these feelings, reciprocal listening and truly connecting is of great pleasure to me.  Ever since I began learning to do this, my real truths began flowing forth.  Although most everyone would mutually agree to this being true for them, I have known people who make the claim while simultaneously avoiding intimate exchanges...(I shall prove tiresome for anyone who eschews intimacy. ;)  I'm still a bit unclear on the allure of extensive partying and prowling the bar scene just never was my style.  I do prefer to take things slowly; believing to truly connect you need to risk becoming vulnerable and to become vulnerable, you need to trust and trust takes TIME.  (I know we lesbians can often forget this is an option...chuckle.)  I'm typically not afraid to be vulnerable first and it would likely be me to go in for that first kiss and invite a second.  For me, "chemistry" is very much a matter of my heart and an attraction to a person is usually based on their life, values, purpose, interests and beliefs.  I think taking some time to get to know someone mentally and emotionally before sexually creates a more intense and meaningful relationship.  (Are you also a woman that appreciates taking the time to see if we even have what it takes to make it and what do we have beyond the bedroom door??)  Physical intimacy is great, but I want someone worth sharing it with (...nor can it be the whole point of a relationship.)   Instead, I value it best as part of a larger whole that goes into making the relationship work, as it is weak and hollow in comparison to the vibratory union created by two people playing the same, intentionally shared chord.  In our 'gotta have it right now' world, I still want to believe true love and romance do exist...they just have to be developed.  I'm still a big time believer regarding mature and authentic, loving relationships.  After all, these shouldn't be so difficult; it's not rocket science...it's magnetism...voodoo...magic (...and Voila!!, there was You!!)  Everything in life is a learning experience and there are no mistakes, only situations to be learned from...the same applies to relationships.  Relationships just need time in order to fully develop...'like all photos, the image never comes out right when it's underdeveloped.   Taking things slow enhances what may develop, and if something is going to develop, it will only develop over time.  Anyone can "fall in love", but it's being able to stick with someone over life's little speed bumps that tests what a relationship is made of...(so, who knows, hopefully it could turn out to be a beautiful picture :) 

 I like to learn about my strengths and grow on my weaknesses and I believe that we take a little from each person we meet in our lives, whether they were in it for only five minutes or five years.  I feel it’s important to listen and learn from these people because we can gain something from everyone whose path crosses our own.  Additional to physical intimacy, I believe thriving relationships must encompass other key components such as honesty, mutual interests, humor, integrity, intelligence, communication and respect for successful sustainability.  Anything worth having is worth waiting for; ideally, I'm looking for someone who wants to build a relationship on a solid foundation of friendship.  I want to get to know you from the inside out before complicating things with sex; to find out what makes you tick, are you a real person and willing to cherish and be kind to the vulnerability inside your self, others and the world?  I don't believe in 'instant' connections (...instant coffee isn't even good! :) and so I'm learning to become more patiently slower in making a commitment than I once used to; but still definitive and constant once I do.  I'm willing to be patient and take the time to get to know the right person.  I don't believe in jumping in head first and I’m not the U-Haul type.  We're all a work in progress...diamonds in the rough...'only we'll find these treasures buried deep within each other.  Women are delicate flowers; the kismet you reap for when you open your heart...so, here...time, is definitely of the essence.  One of my favorite sayings is "love is a friendship on fire", so my intent is: to meet my best friend, first.  Then...(and yes, with all that said,) I'd like to think I'll someday "marry my best friend"; so, here I think really getting to know a woman is very important to me.  It's taken me years to suddenly wise up and realize that time actually can be a longing heart’s “friend.”  I'd like to meet someone who's as interested in learning about all the many facets of me, as I am interested in learning about theirs...'valuing this time and space for each of us to figure out one another while appreciating the experience of discovering each other, layer by layer...that is after all, half of the fun!!  

I think a relationship, like life, is meant to be relished; savored...'not a destination, but a journey.  I would appreciate meeting a woman who is emotionally open, articulate and unafraid to walk the tightrope act of balancing intimacy and independence.  (I'd be interested in someone who's willing to explore life together, each other and to find and enjoy the beauty within it...someone who can introduce me to their world and all of the beauty they see...someone who can be proud of them self and yet still have room in their ego and heart to be proud of others and their achievements, too…someone who is not too fragmented to care for others and cannot completely just be with someone else…someone who has the capacity and desire to truly see me and others and knows just what this really means…(Hell, I just want it all and why not...j/k! ;)   I never chose to marry or have children and this has always been a bit of an issue; for I invest my all in relationships and have often felt like the outsider looking in.  My heart is big and on my sleeve; I love with all of my being and give from within.  I tend to put myself into everything full steam…(especially relationships of all types.)   I give 100% of myself in a relationship and desire the same in return.  In the past I had no idea that I could get that, but now that I have, I know I deserve nothing less than what I'm willing to give...(I am using my 40's to repair the neglect I subjected my heart to in my 20's & 30's.)  My feathers don’t ruffle easily and I can be fairly reserved unless in friendly/exciting company.  I'm not difficult to get along with; yet discerning in how and who I choose to spend my time with.  I am kind and fiercely loyal and will look after those who are in my circle...I'm the one you can always count on.  I am an extremely devoted person to someone I choose to spend my time with.  When I am with someone, I am with them all the way; faithful and loyal to the end...and I can proudly say that I've never cheated on anyone...EVER.  I enjoy making the person I am with feel special and having them know (without suffocating them) that they are a priority in my life.  I guess I'm one of those dying breeds that still like to treat her girlfriend great and right.  I take pleasure in comforting others and hope she wouldn't mind a bit of spoiling, too?  However, just because I treat her well, I would hope she would not take advantage of me...(Can she be an equal opportunity spoiler back and give that extra little bit of herself??...)  

I enjoy discovering places, people and experiences that make me feel connected...whether that connection is to nature, another person, myself, a spiritual higher power or my community.  There's something in me that always wants to oversee/help senior citizens cross the street and give up my seat to pregnant women (...and yet, I can't ever remember sharing my heavenly cinnamon roll from Whole Foods bakery with anyone; even when asked...(grin)...I have my strong points, but I'm not perfect.  I don't have any addictions (...well, okay...maybe I'm wrong...coffee?  (…j/k!   I like good coffee.  I like bad coffee…sue me! :)  I really love animals (sometimes even more than human beings…go figure??); they don't judge, give you your space when you need it and play with you when you are lonely.)  I'm also the type that spends 90% of my time in the produce section in the grocery store..and I'm not even a vegetarian.   Additionally, I'm also naturally drawn to supporting environmental issues and any concerns regarding those less fortunate; the Underdogs of life.  (Hopefully she wouldn't laugh should I make sure the bird feeder is full, leave a bowl of water out on the doorstep for a thirsty stray or help restore nature by sweeping up that broken glass by the curb...I figure we all can use a helping hand sometimes...especially the little guys.)  

I'm not into the politics of being gay as I am a very private person.   I am "out of the box" (meaning I can't stand "the scene") and I try to stay away from the drama of the gay community, but don't mind going to it IF I can find decent, non-dramatic people.  Sure, I’m gay, but I'm neither in the closet nor out; these details, I owe no one.  I’ve always chosen not to make a big deal about my personal life by reclaiming my own power regarding this rather than announcing any part of it.  (I don't see heteros having parades and wearing sequins and leather; and although I support our causes, I'm not going to hit up "Gay Pride" every year in butt-less chaps, baring my top while riding the clichéd Harley.  In-a-word, I'm comfortably gay in a very understated, classy and intelligent way.  I'm not the typical, born-again lesbian type, but instead a paradox...out, yet not broadcasting, as I don't feel the need to wave flags and display those rainbow bumper stickers.  I feel that showing the world our brilliant minds and grit, rather than our skin, would help them get on our side.  After all, statistically speaking, gays/lesbians are more educated and have more dispensable income (read: wealthier) than your average straight person.  (Let's be proud of facts like that.)  I am a real person and I am simply looking for a real friendship/relationship; the type where I can enjoy real conversation with someone that doesn't leave me shaking my head.  So, for the most part, haven chosen to remain single for some time now, I don’t need to have someone in my life; I want to have someone in my life...there is a difference.

So, for the most part, by this point haven chosen to remain single for some time now, I don’t need to have someone in my life; I want to have someone in my life...there is a difference.  It's not that my life is incomplete without a serious relationship...I'm just ready for one.  I would like to find someone to share things with; we all know this process, though generally I’ve learned, we all have such different concepts when it comes to formatting personal relationships…but here, ideally, someone more open to building a serious, longstanding relationship with.  I am not looking for a superficial relationship by any means, but rather hoping to someday meet someone else that is also looking for that kind of love their grandparents had...you know, that kind that can possibly truly endure and last the test of time and any of the hurdles that would be encountered...someone else who revels in commitment and steadiness.  (Again, I contradict myself at times in the way that I am a free-spirit, yet I desire that conventional stability.)   I respect myself and truly believe that it takes the strength of character and will to live in monogamy these days.  I can't seem to find anyone that agrees in having a connection so strong that it will endure just fine, with work and time.  That doesn't mean we're going to become life partners in two weeks, or even two months, but it means when the time is right, we are one as two individuals.  (...So, about any dating games, friends with benefits, random, meaningless, sexual encounters or any thing of that sort...if you couldn't already tell, I am NOT looking to jump into anything naked; no casual sex or multiple person sex or sneaking around sex or any sex of any kind or in between.  I'm all grown up and I am of the monogamous type...so please, just don't bother wasting your time.  I am a "relationship girl" and of course, friendship is always accepted; just be clear with your boundaries.)  Generally, I'm normally low-key and typically won't care where we eat or what movie we see, BUT I will care what's playing in the car on the way to get there...LOL!!   I have been accused of being strong, yet soft of heart.  I cry sometimes when I argue, but I won't let you walk over me, either.  ('Needless to say, I am not seeking a man, so Guy..."I know you are looking for her and when you find her she will be amazing, so don't ever give up...")  With all that said, I'm really not built for casual encounters (so you won't find me on "Alice's Chart"...LOL!), however I do make an inexpensive, great date, as I drink slowly while appreciating the conversation and prefer that with any of these liaisons they not be clouded by excessive external intoxicants (...with the possible exception of chocolate! ;) 

Truthfully, I can't be anything other than what I am: ...a "realist", cerebral by nature (though a pretty good balance of thought and feeling), practical, “outdoor addict”, resilient, a believer of "LESS is more", unconventional, astute, strong but gentle, avid reader, easy to get along with (plays nicely with others), loving, down-to-Earth (a simple kind of gal), fair, shy at first, humane, humble (…it’s not a weakness), balancing opinionating with open mindedness, tattoo virgin (…you will not find a tattoo on me…ever), somewhat old-fashioned (with a new age twist), reserved, believer in fate, aware, fairly "Girl Next Door-ish", idealistic (I'll help you save the world...grin), spiritually caring, a natural cuddle bug, appreciative of the oxford English dictionary, playful, feminine but not "girly", sporty & outdoor-sy, idiosyncratic (rare & kinda' quirky), emotionally responsible, allergic to labels (and not easily categorized), curious, a good listener, the everyday M&M ("hard" candy shell with a melt-in-your-mouth middle), sincere, inquisitive, "G" rated, politically conscious, monogamous (a one-at-a-time kinda' girl), proficient, not in-the-closet (…nor overt), strong work ethics, sometimes deep, mischievous at times (a "sweet brat" that loves pulling off a good practical joke), reflective, forthright, fluid (...adaptable), reasonably organized, sometimes lonely, teachable, complex yet simple, a “kitchen scientist”, introspective, true to my word, nostalgic (yet progressive), completely unattached…as in single (…but you are free to change that :), an outgoing introvert (though often someone who asks questions...this throws people off :), hard working, intuitive, responsible, cat-like (easy to sleep, like to stretch, can act silly at the drop of a feather, affectionate but not loud or disorderly), compassionate, searching, calm & low-key, initiating, genuine (I'm about as real as one can be), unattached, gentle, faithful, planet nurturing but not green washed (a crusader for the earth trying to help the planet get a break), drawn to the ocean, randomly spontaneous, respectful, mature in my immaturity, nurturing, ambitious, loyal (but not cling-y), well-intentioned, pacifist beliefs, intellectually curious, affectionate, grounded, life-learner (student of life), not easily amused by the vices of today (non-addicted to any substance), young-at-heart (just another "oldest living adolescent"), dreamy, insightful (…especially perceptive), a very patient person (unless you push me too far, but that's rare), ethical, growing secure in my insecurities, often private, good problem solving skills-thinker, wanderlust, understanding, level-headed, liberal, sturdily built, kind of having a nerdy edge (…but, in a good way, I think; in the sense that I read the news online everyday, find cold cases very interesting and often watch Nancy Grace), "artsy-fartsy" (a.k.a. creative ;), dedicated, a do-er, occasional neat-freak, willing to lend a hand, learning to roll with the punches, sometimes "dry" witted, sentimental, "peace-y", solitary at times, present, truth seeking, coloring outside the lines, analytical (my acute power of observation is particularly strong...I observe and absorb), usually objective, occasional goofball, supportive, an "everyday rebel" (who believes in respectfully "questioning authority"), natural, big hearted, a bookworm, mindful, trustworthy (…if you have a secret, I can keep it), domestic, philosophical, visual, romanticist of everyday life.  (The Down Side: ...'hate lining up for things, not fond of crowds unless I really want to do something, not very cultured in the ethnic food area (but curious), unfinished and imperfect, not always politically correct (but honest), sometimes fluent in sarcasm, low tolerance to "B.S.", straight-to-the-point (some people can't handle this), still having an edge in me that makes me push back when life pushes a little too hard, sometimes misunderstood (lucky me!?), taming a restless heart (yet learning to “be still"), but most of all, I am my own person.  'Lately just feelin' like a "fish out of water" looking for my place in the sun..., etc. ~ Ahh, just finding my way...

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Who I'd Like To Meet...
(So...here's my line (but not really)...Ready for it??  "I see us one day in the distant future; coffee in hand, we are walking the dogs by the waterfront one rainy morning.  Together, we seem to find magic in the simplicity of our lives.  We are two independent souls who have decided to stay on the same path.  You smile, a smile that says: 'I’ve found peace with you...I can’t believe we met back then on online.'   I say, 'Like attracts like,'...you say, 'Even still, I felt you through the technology.'" :) 

I’ve been finding that there are more people that do not know themselves than who do. When do we know what we want and know who we are?  (When do we stop playing games and pretending?)  There comes a time in everyone's life when you stop for a moment, close your eyes and wish you were in the arms of that someone special.  Side-by-side, together you lie in bed at night and know that all is right and there is nothing else to long for.  And so...by now I know enough about myself to know what characteristics and dynamics work with my personality.  (After all, I have loved…lost…and learned; the three things that every soul should feel…)   So, I don't pretend to have all my answers figured and honestly, I’ve yet to find complete inner peace, but as that’s something I'm working towards, I think overall I have a strong sense of who I'm hoping to meet...someday.  I seek a diamond in the rough, a rare soul whose eyes don't glaze over when discussing topics that are deep, complicated or esoteric.  (Are you out there somewhere?)  She who takes care of herself, her mind and body and knows herself, her faults and her strengths, as well as what she wants in a relationship; she who has a strong moral compass and has both compassion for self and others.  I hope to meet she who can find humor in most things and who is often able to laugh at herself…and, life in general; this is a must. ‘She who dares think deeper, loves stronger and understands fuller will likely mesh compatibly.  A girl who is engaged in thoughts and pursuits beyond work and who's NOT an "A" type personality…(it just wears me out.)  Do you have that special touch, that â€˜you take my breath away kind of presence’ when you walk into a room?  Can you talk about how you feel and have the desire to listen in return?  Can you live the meaning of love instead of just saying it?  Games break my heart.  'Not talking about what you are thinking and feeling hurts and confuses me.  (Generally, I like to think that age as just a number, but that is not true and I have learned this from prior experience.  If you are a lot older than me, but interested in dating me there is a reason that you are not interested in women your own age and that reason will not be good.  So I have constricted my age requirement to within about eight years of my own.)

My heart isn't easily given away anymore, so players move along…by now, I know the game and the drill.  At this age I finally can express the qualities that I would appreciate in someone else, and that here,what I'm not looking for is someone who once gets what she wants, forever then just disappears with my heart...'recently had that happen and it won't happen again.  (“She” was the only woman I truly let into the depth of my heart and the one I would measure all others by.  I entrusted her with the responsibility to be a real and mature woman, too; to protect and cherish what I gave her.  Though it would be on more than one occasion she would pursue me, she never would take â€œus” seriously, and instead had a way of always making me feel as if a burden.  Each time; my needs, my trust, my heart, my soul were all disregarded and ultimately, broken…a bad dream it seemed, in hindsight.  With time, I grew by living through and healing my pain, so that when the actual time does arrive, I’ll be whole again for someone else.   She, again on the run, would choose to stuff hers down.  And, it’s for this reason especially that I could never again â€œgo there” with her.  â€œOne day” it will all hit her like an avalanche and a lifetime of running from ungrieved pain will engulf her all at once, I suspect.  There was a time I couldn’t ever imagine that she would be dead in my heart; now, after all that unnecessary pain and time to heal and grow, there’s absolutely no place in my life for her.   But…regardless, despite our outcome, never will anyone love her more than I did; she will never find a truer love.  And now, my â€œone day” has arrived…I am free.  It is amazing what the heart can go through and still find a way to continue…  :) 

I would like to meet a woman who wants to work on the real things…communicating and talking through any real struggles rather than running away.  (The grass is not always greener on the other side…so take care of the lawn you have. :)   She who can face working through issues; agree to disagree, say she is sorry, accept apologies, while rarely turning away in bed at night angry towards each other.  I want someone who isn't completely damaged by society and has found healthy coping skills…a woman who can kiss and make up; she who doesn't go to the extremes of all in then all out without even a kiss good bye.  (‘Someone who doesn’t mess with my heart or head because she is all grown up and finishes what she starts.)   I want to know I can look ahead some days and over my shoulder other days and know I am going to see you there near me, with me and more often than not, beside me.  I don’t want to settle anymore for a few good years here and there.   I believe the foundation for a great relationship is friendship and chemistry.  Chemistry is important and is something you just can't create; you either have it or you don't.  Can it sometimes manifest more slowly than at other times - YES!!  Life goes by to quickly to sell your dreams and desires just to settle short for any sake.  So, I hope to meet that certain someone who shakes my world, and in return, I do the same for her!  (The first kiss says it all… :)  I suppose I’ve reached a point in my life where I'd much rather be alone than with someone who doesn't rock my world and whose world I don't equally rock.  I have a giving heart and I want to share it with someone that is well deserving.  I’m hoping to meet a woman who appreciates and truly wants and treats me like a priority in her life and for this I will extend my hand to her and show her how much I appreciate her in return.  She who is beautiful in my eyes and emotionally available for courtship, becoming an â€œus” and possibly even marrying in the future.  (Does this type of woman exist?)  I am someone who truly appreciates self-aware people who know themselves, original thinkers who are not afraid to be different and those drawn to nature, art, playfulness and expression who are not so concerned with how to make money.  I deplore the thought of someone whose SOLE purpose in existence revolves around making money...(though I do appreciate she who knows what she wants and works to get it while always "making a life" before she "makes a living".)  

I am comfortable with myself and enjoy my own company, but long for an equally-yoked companion.   I desire meeting â€œshe”, too, who can be satisfied with one person, who can love, and be loved; one who isn't afraid to show their emotions or to see mine.  I appreciate she who is creative, expansive in her thoughts, compassionate and confident, but at the same time, has that endearing, vulnerable side, too.  I appreciate a femme of center woman, who also is open hearted and not afraid to take a risk to find her special love.  A woman who lives who lives her life in balance, thinks outside the box, seeks happiness in her everyday life, is grounded, but not afraid to push the envelope from time to time to seek excitement, creative in her ideas, and knows how to celebrate the here and now.  She doesn't have to be perfect, for even the quirkiness and imperfections can be quite adorable, just as long as she has her head on fairly straight…but hey, nobody’s perfect (…except in the eyes of the one who holds your heart. :)  I have a lot of respect for women who are aware of their flaws and make the effort to work on them rather than those that give off the air of perfection, but in a short time you're seeing it was all just a smokescreen.   She doesn’t have to know exactly where she’s going in life, but she should be able to follow her heart if it speaks to her.  (I don't understand why so many lesbians can’t commit??)  As long as she has her feet moving forward in life and she can see most experiences as a learning process, this is wonderful to me.  I believe I am at some crossroads in my life and heading into the next phase.  For me this feels like some kind of plateau where I have just slowed down enough to enjoy the view for a bit and where I'm discovering my truths and what really matters in my life; a little freer from this material world and being stuck in the illusion of "this is all there is??"   I find it sad how society has allowed itself to become so caught up in the pressure of time; most moving at such a pace that they dare not take the time to genuinely enjoy each other and allow for a solid foundation to be formed before jumping into a relationship.  (This often leaves me wondering if it's possible to find someone who can appreciate another's dedication, sincerity, tenderness and love?)  

I am a romantic, yet sensitive soul, who's in search of someone who does not fear intensity.  The type of intensity that can be achieved when two people take the time to get to know one another.  The intensity that is shared between two people who are intimate beyond what most understand because they have taken that time before becoming intimate physically.   I desire someone who understands that true intimacy is reached well before the bedroom...it is reached while witnessing each others lives, while sharing the details of what makes them who they are and what they believe. This discovery of each other is a fun and exciting part of the process.  I am willing to invest the time and energy it takes to get to know that right person.  I am a seeker of truth in all shapes and forms and am beginning to recognize the signs, symbols and synchronicities that we can learn from when we are able to slow down, silence the mind, be still and just listen...some call this fate (~ it's just too cool!)  I couldn't go back to thinking of life as a 9 to 5 battle for monetary gain or achieving some earthly ego status role...it is just not me.   I feel the ability to communicate is both a skill as well as an intention.  You are beautiful to me if you can do emotional intimacy...(that's sooo sexy...emotional intimacy is just hot!!)  Can you talk openly and tactfully about your feelings??...then you could steal my heart!   I am a caring and responsible person who is willing to invest in a friendship/relationship and I understand that the benefits of a relationship are directly proportional to the investment (...and communication is key.)   I appreciate a woman who is able to express her needs and interests and who is willing to trust and share feelings and her heart.  (In a perfect world, having itall might look like engaging in deep, intellectual conversation with someone one day to then being able to goof around and watch cartoons together the next...(grin.)  Other things I value in a person (including myself) are integrity, compassion, empathy, self-awareness, and loyalty.  Also...I have this ridiculous addiction to intellectual intercourse (...sounds sexy, huh?)  It doesn't hurt if you have an active mind to keep up with mine.  I'm smart, but understand that I have a lifetime of learning to do.  I consider myself fairly intellectual, but you can prove me wrong if you wish...(probe my mind, I love bantering...(grin.)   I really dig people who do not fit neatly into the checkboxes of life and I best mesh with communicative, intelligent souls, who are passionate about their careers, but are not defined by them.  (While I'd be aware of one's professional successes, I probably wouldn't validate them as much for this, as I am more interested in who they are outside the 9-5 world.)   Instead, I'd surely be one to notice someone with a healthy grasp on their baggage (seeing how we never really lose it, but learn how to accept it and move forward), and is healed or healing by working through her stuff.   For me it isn’t really about how many bags you're toting, so much as how you handle the ones you've got. 

I'm of the opinion that the mind is the sexiest organ in the human anatomy and there are only a few things better than an engaging conversation.  (Smart people with intellectual depth are just sexy!!)   I long for eyes I can look into and see an open soul, not eyes that block off my inquisition...for I have learned those who cannot or do not even somewhat allow me in now, will likely never allow me all the way in.  I desire someone who will not shield herself from me; rather one who will shield us from the world (...and yes, my eyes are an important indication of my attraction to you...but, what you do, what you say, how you treat me and others, how you treat the environment and your pets, your family and friends, your neighbors and strangers is the way to my heart and soul.)  Having begun trying to recognize and accept my childhood for what it was (emotionally challenging), I am seeking someone who also wants to let go of their poisons and their patterns and support me in the same, as I will them.  I mention all this because I've seemed to draw/be drawn to others who have also had a difficult life and/or abuse issues...usually from past, loved addicts of some sort in their lives, as well.  I've learned that I can't fully trust someone who is being self destructive to not to try to destroy me, too; nor can I ever watch someone I love destroy them self again...it makes me feel like I'm locked in a cage of my own rage.  I think at this point, it's just self preservation...I won't go back in that cage.  I've explained all of this because I'm hoping maybe it would help me find someone more specific; someone who wants these similar things in life, too.  (...I thought "maybe she's out there looking for me, too; maybe I just have to speak up and put myself out there with saying what I want and what I cannot accept"...which is one of the main things that I'm working on within myself right now...)
    
I'm "huge" on communication and truly appreciate someone who is not afraid to communicate and express their feelings when something is bothering them (or me), rather than stuffing their emotions, instead.   I believe a successful relationship requires both individuals to put 100% effort into it.  Both must also be able and willing to engage in meaningful conversation and be able to express their deepest feelings.  Surface talk I can do with anyone, so I desire more from a partner...I probe for clarity, not simply for knowing.  (I enjoy family and friends, but the one who I enjoy the most is my mate.)  I look for a woman that means what she says…a woman that can make a promise and keep it; a woman that doesn’t run away if a difficult situation arises, but rather faces it together…a woman that is not afraid to love and is not afraid of great passion.  'Someone who understands that in this life, there will be good times as well as bad and that even the best relationships have their ups and downs; yet she is willing to work through the rough spots if and when they arise, and still she doesn't run away...instead she is there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on when life gets thick (...instead of giving me another reason to need someone else's shoulder to cry on.)  

I am open with my heart with hopes you find it safe in there.  I am looking for someone who is comfortable with them self, attractive, and who compliments me; someone who enjoys conversation and can openly communicate…an individual with self identity.  â€˜Someone who is willing to share their world and ready to share mine.   Please know how to communicate and share your hopes and fears as well as being capable and willing to communicate about all of the other key little things necessary to making a relationship work. ('Nothing is perfect, including relationships, and if you're the type of person who understands this, all the better.)   When we have the understanding, acceptance and compassion in place (along with good boundaries, insight and healthy methods of protection in social situations), then we can have a true, deep, safe way of enjoying oneself and others.  (It's then no longer the escapist, superficial, dissociative or ignorant happiness that we were often fed growing up in patriarchy; the kind that excludes and denies.)   I am ever seeking clear, respectful, understanding/communication and always willing to talk about whatever issues may arise...ask me what you will so I can tell you the absolute truth.   I like direct communication and interpersonal process, but I prefer intimate relationships that don't require endless processing.  Life and work are intense enough; why twist ourselves into communication contortions at home, as well?  Let's just talk, be real and not B*S* each other.  If there is something on your mind, come out and say it.  You don’t need to be perfect in your ability to do this, but you should at least be willing to work towards it and make progress.  ('Even when things get crazy, as they sometimes can, just to know that there is someone you can find solace in and who'll be there through the ups and downs; someone who knows what real commitment means and that real love is more than just a flash fire.  'Someone who will not turn and run, but rather remains committed to investing on the horizon for the long haul is, well...priceless!)  I can stick by your side through the bad; not just the good times.   I'm a pretty gentle person and I am not quick to run from a disagreement or argument.   (I'm not meek, but I don't thrive on arguing, drama or chaos.)  If we were to disagree on something, I'd like to talk things out in a calm manner, but I also understand that sometimes it's okay to disagree and that if we can't seem to see each other's point, it does not mean either party is wrong...we just agree to disagree and it's okay.  (Though, even if we disagree, we need to be able to still say “I love you” and respect each other.)  In my opinion, if it can be talked about, it has a 99%success rate of being worked out, so please be open to communicating; this is key in any relationship, be it friendship or any other. 

Life's experiences have taught me that trust is also an absolute necessity for any relationship to be successful.  In addition to honesty, respect and understanding, without the communication and trust parts, there's really no point in pursuing any of it, as all the rest will eventually crumble in due time...(so someday, I'd like to meet that person whom I can develop a relationship with founded on trust and open communication.)  I have little patience when it comes to silly games that just create more karma for no real purpose.  Please be honest; I don't appreciate games or lying and I try never to and take great pride in that...("tricks are for kids.")   I am true to my word and your word means everything to me, as well.  People hurt each other enough these days with their words and at times their stubbornness.  Words can never be taken back and being too stubborn (foolish pride) at times when you truly shouldn't be just ends up costing in ways beyond that will likely cause unfortunate memories and a saddened heart which may last a lifetime.  (I'm an extremely observant life-time student of human nature and can tend to analyze why people do what they do...I am also deeply intuitive and have a laser-like ability to gauge other people's moods and feelings, so trying to hide these from me works not so well.)  I nurture my imagination and imagine that all sorts of things are possible.  I have dreams and aspirations filling up my pockets like still wanting to believe it's possible to hold on through not only the laughter, but through the tears and everything in between...in-other-words, the idea of both, growing upand growing older, together with someone is a turn onto me.  The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase.  This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it.  It's a sort of divine accident and the most wonderful of all things in life.  So, it's no secret...I do a lot of wondering at times.  ("Am I just meant to be alone??   Am I meant to never know and experience the 'pleasures' of life?  Am I doomed to a life of going through my routine, ordained to be a servant of my cat...the only girl who’ll love me unconditionally, with exception of some family members, that is)...doomed to satisfy this untapped urge through only the everyday 'false' adrenaline rushes society gets by on??"   At times, when I'm watching a movie, (yes, a love story), I sit in awe with the possibility of what could be, if given the chance to be. 

So...I’m just a girl looking for a girl…can you be the person I seek?...the woman I wish to find?   I am looking for a friend in a lover; someone who challenges me...and who feels like I challenge them.  With you, I get to be gentle and I get to be strong...(You get to be the hero and you get to be the fallen, and you know that you are still loved unconditionally, either way.)  Can you recognize me as an independent being, who sometimes needs your hand to reassure me, and to remind me of your supportive love?...(You are not threatened by my independence because you are here to support; not control...to walk beside me, not in front of me...)  Can you not be intimidated by my mind nor feel diminished when I challenge you or articulate my ideas and beliefs that do not agree with your own?...(You encourage me to share my thoughts and words and find them intellectually stimulating and a vehicle of growth for us both...)  Am I allowed to cry on your shoulder, lay my head on your chest, and be wrapped up in your arms in the warmest embrace that says life is outside the door, and we are tucked away inside, together, and safe?...(You understand that who I am today is the culmination of all that I have experienced; you are patient and understanding that my heart has been wounded, scarred, healed and scarred a bit more.  I come to you just as I am, with no pretense.  I am imperfect and beautifully flawed, but I have an amazing capacity to love deeply, with all that I have in me, and I have yet to find the person to reciprocate and appreciate this love.)   Can you be strong and caring when I'm weak and vulnerable?...(You never view my tears as weakness and you never make me feel less than...)  Can you understand how sensitive I am and just know that a touching commercial, song or a caring statement might make me cry?   Can you be feminine and soft, yet strong enough to carry my heart?...(With you I am free to be me and express all the nuances and eccentricities that make me who I am, without fear of ridicule or abandonment.  You find beauty in my imperfections; you are endeared by what others never understood; you find joy in my laughter and you find peace in my arms.  You comfort me when I'm at my lowest and celebrate with me when I'm at my highest.)  Can I grow without fearing you'll feel insecure?  Can you be insecure around me and know I will be gentle in that time or any other time you are scared?  Can I care for you and your feelings without you pulling away…without you feeling smothered?   Can you be you and love me being me?   Can I cook for you, and be silly with you, and laugh with you, and still have you know I'm intelligent and desire to be respected, as I will always respect you and your intelligence?  Can you be strong enough to have me fix your toilet, but still know I find it yucky and I’d probably rather be out buying a new blouse to go with my new jeans?  Can you be understanding when I don't know the simplest things, but appreciate my knowledge and that with a bit of tinkering I can repair many things around the home?  So, without fear of ridicule or abandonment, could you be you with a me like me?  

By nature, I am compatible and attracted to females who embrace their feminine side; nothing fancy, no need to be covered in makeup or in heels...no frills, just down to earth.  Part of the excitement of being with a woman is all her beautiful, physical attributes...though overall, I am one who cares more about the contents of a person than appearance and image, as character counts and someone's personality seals it for me every time.  ('Maybe the unconventional is appealing to you, too?...maybe you don't like over-packaged products or people?...It's all about substance over flash for me.)   I usually relate best to people my age or older who are whip-smart, witty and kindhearted.  I enjoy the company of a smart woman with integrity and a great sense of humor, but possibly the three attributes that I appreciate most are truthfulness, an open heart and some form of brainpower.   I ask for your honesty with me and your heart; as honest as you would be with yourself now if you were 50 years older and wiser with some knowledge to pass on to yourself and too, the ability to both give and receive love.  As for the brainpower...no, I don't especially care about the initials after your name; I don't care if you have a degree that says you're smart or if you just have a lifetime of common sense.  'Just be smarter than most (...in your own way, of course) and have your own mind to process ideas and opinions and other higher-level functioning knowledge like that (..."she" does not have to be educated, but she needs to be able to carry on a conversation about something other than the bible or the tabloids.)   I admire a strong woman, who as a mentor through the life she leads, will encourage and support me in my growing more assertive; as I learn from the steps she takes...'someone wiser and more experienced than I am who enjoys imparting her wisdom and being pined for because of it.   'A woman who knows how to take control in life and work, yet leaves this at the office without bringing it home and becoming too over bearing and controlling of others.  â€˜A woman that will hold her own, but can’t wait to relax in the arms of the one she loves...a woman who is in charge of many things in her "day life" and wants to/can let go of that in our home and intimate life...so certainly, no labels or role playing; only equals in all that we are.  â€™Someone who understands that in extending â€œlight from their own candle" in empowering someone else's, nothing is lost or diminished, but instead given as a gift offering, now to be equally shared by another.  'Someone who realizes and appreciates the sense of satisfaction as a role model without breaching this trust by overpowering...(you want to complement that, not overtake it and snuff it out...) 

I love a pro-active woman who takes the initiative and goes above and beyond the conventional protocol, breaking through glass ceilings and other barriers...even while maintaining her sense of feminine self.  My wish is to meet a woman who hasn't lost touch with what it means to be a female and whose arms make me feel safe and calm; the arms that can shut out the occasional unkindness of the world, but that can also turn me around to the beauty of it.  'Someone I can lay with and share my deepest fears with; to tell my tales of woe and sometimes unspeakable pain of all the skeletons in my closet...'someone who is strong and not afraid to take the lead, but is also tender, gentle and not opposed to following.  I value women that RESPECT themselves and those around them...(after all, in the long run, that's all we'll be taking with us.)  'Women that take care of themselves and represent "the community" with dignity and grace...women who have integrity and can communicate effectively without hidden agendas and be in touch with their emotions; knowing how to express them without harming them self or others in the process.  I appreciate women that are good to those around them and are not self-centered...women that have strong values and yet are not afraid to be vulnerable...a woman who knows what her baggage is, and is working on it.  'We all have it…no one is perfect; everyone has a past that defines who they are today, just be able to tell the difference between your stuff and mine.  (I'm looking for someone who loves her self, so that she can love me...'so I need you to believe that you're attractive, too.)   I would love to meet someone who is beautiful in more than one way; someone who is beautiful on the inside where it counts and who has a romantic side, is caring, loving and believes in monogamy.  I have great admiration for anyone courageous enough to stand for what is right in a world where so many find it easy to rationalize otherwise.  I appreciate a nice girl who is considerably complete on her own and is emotionally ready with relationships as an adult to adult and who can complement another without needing the other.  (Please, don’t still be letting an ex run your life or hung up still waiting for them to make up their mind on where they want to be in life and who they want to be with.  'Been through that before and don't want to have to go through it again.  'Too much heartache...(there's nothing worse than a pile of exes hanging around...LOL!)  

(continued below...)

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Who I'd Like To Meet, pt. 2...:
I welcome anyone who may have even fallen on her face during this "game called life” and rebuilt herself, coming back even stronger.  'Someone with a healthy sense of self and who through the life she leads inspires me to be my best self, too.  'Someone who doesn't need everyone's attention in order to feel wanted, beautiful or important...as long as she's happy with what the mirror shows her, that's all that matters.  I truly value one who is present in the moment with an open heart and mind and keeps me thinking and laughing in equal measure.  (A big brain with intellect is on direct route to my attention. :)  It‘s always been that "the more someone gets me thinking, the more attractive they become"…this could be about anything, really…life, politics, spirituality, movies, music, books, art…and, yes…even sports.  (Unfortunately, lack of these and it's likely I could eventually become bored.)   I am on my own path right now (nurturing those wounds that won't seem to heal on their own.)  I am in the process of growing and healing at depth and recognize that both are ongoing processes (...this does not mean I am damaged goods.)  I'm not looking to mold or change anyone into who they're not and vice versa.  I have witnessed others self destruct from choices made, without changing direction.  I am not a selfish person nor am I so absorbed in my own life that yours would be any less important.  I'd like to just meet "an equal", I guess you could say...a woman who fairly is comfortable with her self, relatively content in her life and not stubborn enough to let small things get in the way.  Though I am not seeking for someone to “fill holes” (nor am I interested in trying to “fill another’s holes"); I’m just looking for a match, someone to grow into and share my gifts with...(the "ying" to my "yang"...one who eventually completes my thoughts and knows me well enough to finish my sentences; someone that by looking at each other, we already communicate without even speaking a word, but in using our eyes.)   I desire the company of an emotionally mature woman who really gets what I am saying here.  Life just seems to get simpler when you start from a common point; I miss being "an equal" in someone's life...(I don't know if this makes sense to you??) 

As I'm maturing, there are always those natural concerns that begin to arise.  "Am I getting enough vitamins?", "I probably should be eating more vegetables", and not only grabbing the sunscreen, but "did I actually remember to put the sunscreen on?" and don't forget the "gotta' make time to exercise," etc."   It would be a welcome thought to meet someone else, too, who believes in the better for a future and who would welcome the idea of nurturing "us" as much as our relationship.  A close connection with someone can really grow on you and leave a quiet longing in it's wake...I really miss paying attention to what's important to another on so many different levels and encouraging them; being their support to follow that which they desire and having the same/similar reciprocated in return...(...'And hey, on a less serious note, please have some sort of child-like nature about you; being silly, telling jokes occasionally, dancing like no one is watching...the all SO important, vital life qualities...(grin.)  What are we doing in life if we can't play?...(chuckle)...how are we to get through difficult times without it??)  Honestly, it's kinda' strange wandering through this life knowing that you exist, yet not quite knowing where to find you.  I've learned that life is stranger than fiction and infinitely more complex and fascinating...but, I believe we are always where we are suppose to be, and will meet that One we are suppose to meet when it's meant to be and we are both ready.   (Gosh, life can be funny like this...a very short process to search endlessly for your missing piece...  'Ever wonder just how this detail of your life is supposed to play out?   'Looking for your soul mate at the grocery store is appealing, but what if your dream girl makes a crack about the Corn Pops you have sitting in your basket?  She's effectively ruined the chance of your heart allowing her in before even leaving the cereal aisle...and no one talks in elevators much for fear it won't go well and that you'll be stuck with that person until the 28th floor.  I do know you're out there somewhere and when it's time, our paths will cross... :) 

People are becoming feral these days...less civilized and certainly a little less polite.   It seems in our modern, point and click lives real courtship has become passé.  That’s a shame, because lost with that are the important yet gradual processes in which we:  really assess compatibility, learn to communicate, appreciate our differences and commonalities, build trust, become vulnerable and truly fall into sustainable love with one another.  I know that we all get caught in our busy, busy lives and seem to not be able to get our heads above water so that we can look around and see all of the pretty roses blooming or even take time to smell them, too...(you did know that many of them have a nice fragrance?...I knew you did ;)  I feel I've gotten to know myself pretty well, as I have taken the time to get to know what I am all about and what I'd really like.  So why does finding a real connection in the lesbian community seem to be more difficult than finding the Holy Grail??  (It appears I have a knack for finding/attracting the girls who seem to have more problems than a math book and than they lead me to seeing up front, though not too many with their act together enough who are honest, reliable and classy.)   Earlier on in my life, I had dated several men...I think that was partly due to guys were just easier, somehow (...and of course, that I hadn't yet completely grown into my own skin, so-to-speak.)   Usually when I'd admit my attraction to a guy, he would admit his attraction to me and we were off and running.  Conversely, when I've admitted my attractions to women, mostly they were off and running...in the opposite direction.  Never-the-less, I remain undaunted, as I have grown close enough to enough women to know that I belong with women.   (I consider myself lucky in that I figured out who I was at a fairly young age...yet still, I have not gotten my toaster...grin.)    I am certainly not without flaws or the need to be the best woman I can be, today.  I strive, but do fall short of my own expectations at times.  I, too, am learning my worth as a human being rather than a human doing...and still trying to figure what to be in life, but I know that it includes being in love.   I'm not seeking someone who is perfect, because I am not...'just looking for some with faults that are compatible with mine.  All I ask is that you have a kind heart, just be sincere, real honest about who you are, without any major issues, open and willing to grow.  I don't ask for the world, but just the average requirements in maintaining a healthy and great relationship.  I am a kind and genuine, caring and sweet girl who just wants to be treated like I deserve to be treated :)   I am a common sense gal and know what I want...it just takes time to find that special someone who wants the same things that I do.  If I should get up-close and personal with another female, I do have room in my heart.  (...And, given the appropriate time, if she cannot make up her mind if she'd want me or not in her life…she does have the wrong girl here.)   Honestly, what I'd really like is someone who's just going to be real.  I'm just tired of the unreliability, dishonesty, games & inconsistencies and lesbian drama to the point where I'd rather be alone than deal with any of this...'been there, done that ~ turnin' that page...  

In trusting others to look after ourselves, it becomes really easy to forget how to love ourselves and even more difficult to be able to love other people with something worth more than empty promises.  Like a starved person coming from starvation, so self-convinced that each meeting should work, whenever anyone was already half way in (because they appeared to fit my mold of what I wanted), I continually shorted myself in that I did not take the time to make anyone prove they are worth my emotions.  Realizing this has been a low point in my life, yet possibly, ironically the highest I've ever been because I am no longer chasing people who are running from me or ironically, themselves and their problems.  (Needless to say, getting this far took much time and healing...)  With this in mind, it would be exciting to actually meet someone with the time and desire to really get to know me, as I welcome a new chapter in my life where I can go on and move forward.  A quality bond means everything to me, so understand that I'm not in search of empty sexual encounters.  There are no ulterior motives behind my words...I'm as real as they come.  ('Believe it when I tell you...or come find out for yourself. :)  Simply said, what I’m truly hope for at this point in my life is Genuine Love.  The type of Genuine Love meaning, "I see a need in you.  Let me have the privilege of meeting it."  Instead of taking for itself, Genuine Love gives to others.  It motivates us to help others reach their full potential in life.  Most importantly, Genuine Love has no qualifications.  It doesn't say, "I'll be your friend if you'll be mine."  Nor does it say, "I want to be you friend because your family is rich."  This love does not seek gain, but only to give.  Genuine Love has no fine print.  I believe the more we help others achieve their full potential in life, the closer we are to maturity.  Demonstrating a selfless desire for others to gain, is the strongest base for building lasting relationships.  This is the love I truly desire.   

I try to live life on my own terms…’an easy going girl here that is not interested in being part of a fan club or on an endless list of favorites.  I'll be happy to entertain questions prior to that first meeting, but not into photo collecting and extensive, long email conversations.  I guess my personality accepts nothing less and I want to stand out from the rest… :)  All this being said...if you feel a strong connection with what I've written and see yourself or at least some of yourself in these statements, there is a chance that you are the one I'm writing to.  Please send me an expression of your feelings...I'd love to hear from you.  I know some of these statements are rather specific and that there are many people this post won't resonate with...but I'm not looking for lots of women, only one.  Ideally this is what I am looking (hoping?) for in a partner, but who knows what life may bring.  I want to share time with someone who will warm my heart and my home.  Beauty comes in so many forms...I'd love to see yours and am curious to hear about the non-visible "you" that's not immediately apparent to the eyes and what's your favorite flower...I just might bring 'em to you if we ever meet...(grin.)  I don't think it matters so much what people do on a first date, and I am a big fan of simplicity, so grabbing a coffee and taking a leisurely walk would be totally okay by me.  I am always surprised by the way different people connect...but the feeling has to be right. That's what it all is, really...no need for a boozed filled date to make us like each other.  I am receptive to a long term relationship, but not in a hurry nor looking for the U-Haul scenario.  If you have a girlfriend, please don't bother replying to this.  I don't date people who cheat on their girlfriends. People like that do not have any respect for themselves or the other people involved.  (Either make a decision to totally change for the better and rebuild your relationship fresh with her or let her go, because it isn’t right to hurt another’s heart...if you wouldn’t want it done to you, then why would you do it to another?  How's that old saying go??...“Treat others as you would like to be treated."  So...here my written thoughts are another step in an eternal dance we do together.  Both my heart and spirit are ready for you to enter...the rest is up to you…will a brave heart come find me?!   'So much living to be had and like Noah's Ark, in pairs of two it's always better...this I like!!   (I still believe in my happily ever after, do you…?)   I'm old enough to know what I want and crazy enough to believe I'll find it…honesty, chemistry and laughter are all essential.   I look forward to finding you, wherever you are, as distance does not matter.   I maintain hope that you are out there somewhere looking for me, as I look for you.  (...I have been waiting a lifetime for you, found the one that I thought was you, only to be proven wrong.)  "Chemistry" is either there or it is not.  It's not something that can be manufactured between two people...but when it's right, chemistry can buckle the knees...I'm up for that!!   "Now, if there is a God", you are single and you like girls, too..."Yes?"   I hope my message finds its way to you ~ *2nd star to the right*… 

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