As new years rolled around, I decided to do something a bit different this year. Instead of starting yet another diet that I would fail or any other hopeless cause...My resoultion was simply to keep life simple, less computer/t.v. and more reading. A few days later one of my daughters and her husband gave me a nook for Christmas. I was blown away cos I have been wanting a reader for a couple of years now. My other daughter and her husband gave me a gift card to buy some nook books. I have greatly enjoyed it. I am currently reading "Eat, Love, Pray". The title is enticing as I love to eat, love to love and I love to pray. I also saw the movie.
All of this leads me to exploring meditation. I work in a high stress retail company where no one knows what they are doing or why and if you have ever worked retail, you know the customers can be a challenge. Some are rude and others are clueless. There is something at work that upsets me on a daily basis. So with all this in mind, I decided to add meditation and perhaps yoga to my new years agenda. I bought a dvd about yoga for fat people which has been in its wrapper for a year or more. I also did some research into meditation and today I took my first lesson. I can tell a difference already. I am very relaxed, rested and in a good mood. I think I will do a mini meditation at lunch today....if I don't get interrupted by someone who "wants to talk". You see, there are a couple of people at work that if they see you sitting in the corner alone on your break, and even if you have on headphones or your face in a book, will sit down with you and want to talk. These are lovely people but they don't get the body lanuguage. If you are sitting in the corner with your back to the room with headphones on and your face in a book...doesn't that say "I prefer to not be bothered right now" ? you would think...but alas as lovely as the folks may be...they don't get it. The whole point of break is to take a break. I talk all day long about stuff I really don't want to talk about....being social when I really don't want to be social....being nice even when I'm in a funky mood. I need to sit and take a B R E A K.....
I could be rude and just say what I think...but that wouldn't be zen. I let them ramble a few minutes then I excuse myself to the restroom and lock myself in a stall for a bit. If I am lucky, they won't follow me there, and hopefully the restroom isn't full of crying babies, phone talkers and stinky diapers. I do luck out occasionaly and have the place to myself. Perhaps this seems weird to some who are more social than I am. I am an only child and I enjoy my alone time. I like thinking without the interruptions....dreaming, contemplation, meditation.
It is also my goal to find my imagination...my muse again so that I can paint again. Some where along the way, between husbands, kids and life in general, I lost these things. I woke and and realized how short life is and I still have so much to explore. I discovered I spent my whole life NOT living the life I wanted to live. So now my quest is to do so. I just don't know how. How do I regain my passions, my imagination, my creativity? How do you change your life without available funds? The old saying, "If you don't use it, you lose it" applys to your talents as well as other things that this saying usually refers to. Your creativity is a muscle too...not one you can see or touch...but it is one you have to exercise as well.
So....I will toast this new year of self discovery and aventure with another cup of coffee. I wish you luck with your new goals as I attempt to persue mine.
