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Viewing 19 - 27 out of 121 Blogs.
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"I Wanted..."
- to say a few words...
Words that had bite
and texture -
M E A N I N G
Words that drew from my CORE
the strength and depth of understanding
so many just - expect...
Words that mark
where I've been
and each "HOW" - I've been
and each reason Ive - been...
Words - that can only appear because
I wanted to share
a breath
a moment
a look
a lifetime of -
...wishes
and now
well
I still have the words
and still want to
share
and I still care - I do...
its just the mist
inside
obscures the clarity
and its COLD
and the numbness gained a perch
- and a hold -
for a while.
Chris
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I am a 'Mage-In-Training'
Tags: Poetry Writing CHris
"The Sun..."
We can't touch the sun -
We feel the light
are warmed
are enfolded, sheltered,
held, kissed...
Its life as we wish it
and so seldom have -
in the midnights of our lives.
Chris
Tags: Poetry Writing CHris
"Awakening..."
When its dark
some pray
for sunlight
and some...
don't.
Chris
Tags: Poetry Writing CHris
"Spring..."
I can taste the flowers -
each color has a 'vibrance'
so far beyond a mere 'feel'...
You have the texture of a Rose...
and my eyes 'ache'
with smiling.
Chris
Tags: Poetry Writing CHris
A friend's father has passed... actually a LOT of fathers have passed...
this is... for us all...
"Dad..."
I remember -
being held
being teased
your smile
your words...
I remember -
your voice
your eyes
your favorite things
the little things...
I remember -
crying
hurting so very bad
empty sunsets
silent rooms...
I remember -
you...
still.
Chris
Tags: Poetry, Writing, CHris
I was up most of last night... again... doing nothing of consequence - as in any GREAT thing that means a damn or just HAS to done. I didn't want to write - as in I COULD, the thoughts were there as always - I just AGAIN didn't WANT to put them down for others to view.
But heck - I DID come back here because in the end I wanted to - not had to. I made some good friends here. Many people read my thoughts - some even pause long enough to let me know 'someone' paused. Today's news had BITE... a marine vet I actually recognized from appreciated videotaped work he was involved in - killed himself. Seems 1100+ attended services and the funeral. Seems many, many "Why?s" were being asked and each in turn lead to more prolonged silences. Potent stuff "Why?'s"
And behold ANOTHER article on "DEPRESSION" was in the news - hell, it had quite definitive depictions of proposed symptoms, personally recognized symptoms, intents, perceptions, actions-non-actions-doings-nothings... and in the end, well its just life as we live it. Disasters elsewhere where you have PERSONNALLY been; people passing that you PERSONALLY know and to whom there IS an emotional attachment of whatever type; changes to whatever and whoever and wherever and however and any OTHER EVER a person can come up with. Depression - a way of life.
Seems we 'handle' things as we can and when we can't well - we handle it anyway. Our lives change like seasons - with a frightening regularity and a lucky few have someone that listens as we ramble about 'nothings'. Sometimes the LISTENER is one of the ramblers himself, sometimes there are no listeners. Depression doesn't necessarily end in self-destruction for all but a very sad few... it ends - as in you go back to doing what you did and continue again - because its the person you are... its how you personally 'handle' things beyond your ultimate control.
Sometimes you make new friends, sometimes you don't. But there are ALWAYS more nights ahead - more silence - more hurt - more uncertainties to live with - more of life as we live it... until there isn't. Its just another friday - today - after all, now isn't it?
Below - inbetween the dots - is the article on Depression that I mentioned. Its fairly short but fairly accurate as well. I include the writer's name.
..............................................................
Depression in Men: It’s Not About Feeling Sad BY: Michael Castleman An estimated six million men in America are depressed -- and most don’t feel sad (or won’t admit to it). When women are depressed, they’re more likely to cry and complain of confusion and unrelenting sadness, says Robin Jarrett, a psychologist and professor at the University of Texas Southwest Medical Center in Dallas. But depression in men is more likely to result in: - irritability
- anger
- aggression
- substance abuse
- risk taking (e.g., gambling, reckless driving)
- withdrawal (e.g., “I don’t want to talk about it.â€)
Other symptoms of depression that both men and women commonly experience by include: - apathy
- fatigue
- appetite changes (overeating or loss of appetite)
- sleep problems (insomnia or sleeping too much)
- reduced libido
- loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities
- thoughts of suicide
Depression in Men Is Deadly
Because depression in men often doesn’t “look†like depression with stereotypical sadness and tears, family and friends may not realize that a man is seriously depressed. Men are also socialized to be “the strong, silent type,†notes Ellen Frank, a psychologist and professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. As a result, depression in men may go unrecognized because compared with women, men are less likely to admit to emotional problems and seek help. The most devastating consequence of depression is suicide. More women attempt it than men, but men succeed much more frequently. Women who try to kill themselves typically slit their wrists or overdose on medication, then call for help and can usually be saved. Men who attempt suicide are more likely to employ more lethal methods, like firearms or jumping out of buildings. As a result, among the nation’s 32,000 suicides each year, about 80 percent are carried out by men, according to the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics.
Depression Is Treatable
Fortunately, when men seek professional help for emotional problems, physicians and mental health professionals are very likely to recognize depression, even if the symptoms are unusual. More good news: Depression can be successfully treated with psychotherapy, medication, a combination of the two, or in severe cases, electroconvulsive therapy. So “if you suspect that a man you know suffers depression, urge him to seek treatment,†says Frank. “It just might save his life.â€
...............................................................
The Marine Vet I mentioned is gone now... its too late to do anything but ask "Why?" Some of us find and return from our own 'brinks' on a continuing basis - still. 'Til we don't.
Take care.
Chris
Tags: Writing, Poetry, CHris
"That Silly Half-Smile..."
Are you thinking?
daydreaming -
night-dreaming; might-dreaming
wishing?
...and if you could,
if I could,
did, would, should -
we?
and now I'm smiling
just because...
and you?
Chris
Tags: Poetry, Writing, CHris
"My Coffee Got Cold... "
Its not that thoughts aren't flowing
- rushing by in wild abandon,
tripping over-and-over each other
'til tumbling and sprawled in a profussion
of delusional allusion...
It's the silence
I feel
outside
in the sunlight
as my coffee chills
with each heartbeat...
Empty chairs
open tables
silence
shuttered thoughts
- more echoes
always
more
- echoes.
Chris
Tags: Poetry, Writing. CHris
"Even breathing carries a price..."
Sunrise, sunset
shared and alone -
I speak of coffee
and mists,
shadows and the winds.
trees, birds, passing cars...
I wonder of friends,
life, memories -
new and old.
I hurt sometimes -
real and hard; and sometimes
just inside - so very, very
inside.
I can hold my tears
- done that most of my life.
Seems most are shed for others -
not silly me...
but its hard -
in the mornings
awaiting
anything - than what you have,
had,
or know.
We can touch
the emptiness
and sometimes find
it isn't quite so -
empty
as we thought
and we put names
to our hopes
and FEEL their voices inside
but always risk
who we are...
if they end.
And they do -
end...
Chris
Tags: Poetry Writing Chris
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