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A superstition is a belief or practice resulting from ignorance. It’s also evidence that mankind hasn’t exactly reached the peak of intellectual potential.

 

"It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue." Voltaire

 

Some superstitions are peculiar to a particular country.

 

1) In Ireland, it’s considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Stone, but unlucky to spill a drink.

 

2) In Nigeria, it’s bad luck to sweep a house at night, but a thorough sweeping in the morning gets rid of evil spirits.

 

3) In Japan, killing a spider in the morning results in the destruction of a human soul.

 

4) In Scotland, it’s bad luck to stand with your back to the edge of a door, and the sight of three swans flying together is a precursor of a national disaster.

 

5) In Malta, church clocks have two faces, one showing the correct time and another with a false time to confuse the Devil about the time of the service.

 

The world of show business has its share of superstitions.

 

1) If an actor uses a bar of soap belonging to another actor, it’s believed that some of the luck will rub off on him.

 

2) But if an actor leaves soap behind in the dressing room, he may never be employed again.

 

3) To open an umbrella or drop a comb onstage is bad luck.

 

4) Actors never look over the shoulder of a colleague into a mirror

 

5) Set designers avoid the color yellow.

 

6) The most egregious act occurs when someone whistles in the dressing room. Surely disaster will soon follow.

 

Gamblers are notorious for being superstitious.

 

1) They always wear their lucky ring or shirt or whatever.

 

2) Many will rub or blow on the dice or cards.

 

3) Sitting in the right chair or standing in the right spot is a must.

 

4) True gamblers never cross anything, including their legs, and never place a bet before 6:00 PM on Fridays.

 

Professional athletes, particularly baseball players, are among the most superstitious people on the planet.

 

1) On game day, they will eat the same meal or park in the same spot or walk the same path using the same number of steps entering the clubhouse.

 

2) Many baseball players will always enter the playing field in the exact same manner each time, performing personal rituals such as touching the same base or crossing a line at the same spot.

 

3) When batting, most baseball players will take the exact same number of practice swings while making the same gestures to help bring them luck.

 

Being an astute observer of human nature, I’ve come up with my own set of superstitions.

 

1) If a black cat crosses your path, it usually means the cat is going somewhere.

 

2) Wearing cloves of garlic around your neck will ward off evil spirits. Except for goat farmers and residents of New Jersey, it will also ward off most people.

 

3) Finding a four-leaf clover is good luck. It also means you have nothing better to do than crawl around outdoors on your hands and knees, gazing at clover.

 

4) Three men on a match is bad luck, unless you only have one match and there are three of you, or you are French Canadian.

 

5) A rabbit’s foot is good luck, except for the rabbit.

 

6) If you crack a mirror, it’s bad luck. If all you were doing was looking at the mirror when it cracked, it’s time for some cosmetic surgery.

 

7) If your name is Usama and you have a towel wrapped around your head and have 4 wives and your hobby is mass murder, you will someday have unwelcome visitors from a faraway land with itchy trigger fingers drop in on you from above to remove you from this dimension and confiscate your collection of pornography.

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Quote for the Day -- "The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out -- without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable." H.L. Mencken

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Bret Burquest, author of four novels, has recently published THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY (esoteric knowledge) and 1111 HAPPY TRAILS ROAD (humor) -- available on Amazon. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where good luck involves indoor plumbing.

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Life is like a river of natural events -- it flows where it wants to flow, and there's not much you can usually do about it without an enormous amount of effort and a slew of unintended consequences.

 

Basically, you have 3 choices in The Flow of Life -- go with The Flow, ignore The Flow, or change The Flow.

 

William Shakespeare was a very prolific writer who was mostly understood by snooty British intellectuals, high school English teachers and people with brain damage. Most of the rest of us who were forced to read his drivel back in high school didn’t have a clue what Shakespeare was all about.

 

One of his more famous excerpts comes in act 3 of Hamlet – “To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune; or to take arms against a sea of troubles…”

 

This is all a person really needs to know about life. Unfortunately, reading Shakespeare is a lot like reading the graffiti on the wall of a public restroom – it seems somewhat clever yet is often confusing, but you don’t really care because you’ve got better things to do than hang around and try to figure it out.

 

What Shakespeare was really trying to tell the world was that there is a choice in life we all face. We can choose to go with The Flow and suffer the consequences (suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune) or we can choose to go off in our own direction (take arms against a sea of trouble) and suffer the consequences. Choosing not to make a choice automatically puts you into the category of going with The Flow.

 

In other words, you can go with The Flow or follow your own path. Either way, there will be consequences to suffer.

 

Some people choose to go with The Flow. They elect people to lead them, obey the rules, pay their taxes and march off to war. They may not like it sometimes but they go along in order to get along. These are the followers of the flock of humanity and conformists who are obedient of authority, usually out of a sense of duty or fear of consequences.

 

Some people go off in their own direction, avoiding The Flow as much as humanly possible. Although often ridiculed by those who conform, they couldn't care less. And even when they’re alone they’re never lonely because they don’t need to be validated by others. These are the weirdoes who prefer to be different simply to gain self-respect within their own existence.

 

Then there are those who try to have it both ways, going with The Flow when it suits them and avoiding it when it doesn't. Most of the time they choose to go with The Flow, until The Flow takes them where they don’t want to be, then they rebel a bit. But taking arms against a sea of trouble requires strength and fortitude, forcing them to get back into The Flow when the going gets too tough. These are the flip-floppers who jump on and off of band wagons depending on which way the wind blows.

 

Furthermore, some people attempt to manipulate The Flow toward their personal desires. They demand the right to create and enforce their own version of heaven on Earth. Many of them believe they are creating a better world, while others are simply attempting to gain power, control or riches. Either way, it is a form of selfishness. No one has the moral certitude to change the world into their personal vision of wonderfulness, because wonderfulness is always in the eye of the beholder.

 

People who choose to always go with The Flow are happy people. Occasionally, they suffer the consequences of the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune but life is full of consequences and they don’t blame themselves for their suffering because they were merely caught in The Flow of the decision-making of others. Plus, the burden of making independent decisions is avoided because The Flow makes all the decisions for them.

 

People who choose to always avoid The Flow are also happy people. They go their own direction and follow their own path. They face lots of obstacles for not conforming to The Flow, but their suffering is of their own making and therefore more palatable. Independent people understand that suffering builds character, thereby making their way of life that much more endearing. Rather than allow the rest of the world to err on their behalf, they’d prefer to screw up their lives on their own.

 

Those who try to have it both ways are unhappy people. They have no direction in life. Rather than being comfortable within The Flow or comfortable outside The Flow, they are dissatisfied with both options and spend their days whining about how The Flow has ruined their lives.

 

People who try to change The Flow are also an unhappy lot. They tend to align with others who also want to change The Flow, exerting group pressure by forming associations and unions and political parties and religions and secret societies in order to manipulate The Flow in their favor. But no matter how effective they are at manipulating The Flow, they’re fighting an endless battle because there are always other interests attempting to manipulate The Flow in a variety of directions. And the ends rarely justify the means because there is no End to The Flow.

 

Flow Changers have been battling Flow Changers since the beginning of time. They are convinced their way is the correct way and insist everyone else conform to their notion of correctness, right down to the correct length of grass in your front yard and the correct state of mind from which you are forbidden to alter. Flow Changers are self-righteous, rebellious conformists who demand selfless, non-rebellious conformity from everyone else.

 

So if you want to be happy, accept the slings and arrows (go with The Flow) and fall in line like a proper obedient citizen (conformist). Or take arms against a sea of trouble (avoid The Flow) and follow your own path like a free independent thinker (outcast). One or the other -- you can't be both.

 

The opposite of courage is not cowardice, it is conformity.

 

The reward for conformity is everyone likes you but you lack the integrity (freedom) to be your true self. Even dead fish go with The Flow.

 

The reward for being an outcast is self-respect. It's better to avoid The Flow than to be swept away by it.

 

If you want to be an unhappy jerk, attempt to change The Flow and regulate the world. But always bear in mind that no good deed goes unpunished.

 

"You must not change one thing, one pebble, one grain of sand, until you know what good and evil will follow that act. The world is in balance, in Equilibrium. A Wizard's power of Changing and Summoning can shake the balance of the world. It is dangerous, that power. It is most perilous. It must follow knowledge, and serve need. To light a candle is to cast a shadow." Ursula K. Le Guin

 

There are only two things in life -- you and everything else. The only thing you can change is you.

 

Ultimately, you have 3 choices -- go with The Flow, ignore The Flow, or bang your head against the wall.

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Quote for the Day -- “No two ideals were ever more incompatible than the security of conformity and the freedom of individuality. After the choice is made, the rest is easy – unless you don’t have the guts to stick by your choice.” Hunter S. Thompson

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Bret Burquest, author of four novels, has recently published THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY (esoteric knowledge) and 1111 HAPPY TRAILS ROAD (humor) -- available on Amazon. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and the ghost of Raoul Duke.

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Gregory "Pappy" Boyington was born in Idaho on December 4, 1912.

 

He went to high school in Tacoma, Wash., then on to the University of Washington (1930-34) where he was in the ROTC program and majored in engineering.

 

He worked summers in an Idaho gold mine to help pay his way through college and became a draftsman for Boeing Aircraft upon graduation.

 

One year later, he joined the Marines where he was a flight instructor for six years and later volunteered to be a "Flying Tiger" pilot in China and Burma.

 

After the attack on Pearl Harbor, Boyington saw action in the South Pacific where he was credited with shooting down 28 Japanese aircraft, a WWII record for a Marine pilot.

 

On the day of his 28th kill, Boyington was shot down by a Japanese Zero fighter and eventually picked up by an enemy submarine.

 

He spent 20 months in a prisoner of war camp where he suffered frequent beatings and near starvation. For some reason, his whereabouts were never reported to the Allies by the Japanese and he was listed as missing in action. On August 28, 1945, his prison camp was liberated.

 

Along with the Navy Cross, he was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor by President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

 

Boyington led a turbulent life. He was a heavy drinker, went through a series of failed marriages and bounced from one job to another (beer salesman, stock salesman, jewelry salesman and wrestling referee).

 

In 1958, he wrote a book about his WWII exploits at an airfield in the New Hebrides titled BAA BAA, BLACK SHEEP. In it, he described how he had to form a squadron of fighter pilots from a group of raw replacement pilots, dubbed "The Black Sheep Squadron."

 

In 1976, the book was made into an NBC TV series starring Robert Conrad as Pappy Boyington. The series, difficult and expensive to produce, lasted only two years.

 

Gregory "Pappy" Boyington, American hero and troubled soul, died on January 11, 1988. He was buried in Arlington National Cemetery.

 

At the end of his memoir, he wrote, "Just name a hero and I'll prove he's a bum."

 

In 2006, a University of Washington senior and former Air Force weather forecaster, Andrew Everett, presented a resolution to the college's student senate suggesting the school honor Boyington with a small statue.

 

However, this proposal was rebuffed by members of the student Democratic Party on the student senate.

 

According to the minutes of the meeting, Ashley Miller argued, "many monuments at UW already commemorate rich, white men." Jill Edwards stated she "didn't believe a member of the Marine Corps was an example of the sort of person UW wanted to produce." One member of the senate even referred to Boyington as "a murderer."

 

Perhaps the world does indeed have too many statues honoring people who have performed heroic acts, but the reasoning behind this rejection is astonishing. Some of these students are in dire need of a brain transplant.

 

First of all, Boyington was never rich and he was part Sioux Indian. To protest honoring him because he is rich and white is both incorrect and blatant bigotry. Rejecting a person based on that person's social status and ethnicity is a prime example of how far certain people will sink to ensure special privileges for those who don't earn it.

 

Bigotry is a two-way street and a liberal, naive, politically-correct bigot is still a bigot.

 

Discriminating against Boyington because he was a Marine is another example of bigotry. And to call him a murderer is inexcusable. Killing another human being, during the course of a world war, when that person is aggressively trying to kill you is not murder – it's called self-preservation.

 

War is an ugly, unfortunate fact of life but sometimes it's a necessity.

 

It's easy to assume if you're nice to the rest of the world, it will be nice to you -- but the world is not made out of sugar and spice and everything nice. When you grow up, reality will set in and self-preservation will take over.

 

Pappy Boyington was just another guy stumbling through life. He was also a hero and deserves our respect.

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Quote for the Day -- "A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom." Bob Dylan

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Bret Burquest, author of four novels, has recently published THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY (esoteric knowledge) and 1111 HAPPY TRAILS ROAD (humor) -- available of Amazon. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and the ghost of Davy Crockett.

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The summer I was in sixth grade, my family went on a camping trip to Yellowstone Park. We pitched our tents in the most remote official campsite, along a stream in the northeast corner of the park.

 

After breakfast one morning, the four of us embarked on a hike, mostly uphill along the stream, to a huge meadow where we were going to fly fish for trout.

 

When we reached the edge of the meadow, we took a break. It had been a steep climb over very rocky terrain and we needed a rest.

 

A couple of minutes later, my dad wanted to push on, knowing the fishing holes were only a few more miles across the meadow. The rest of us were pooped so he went on alone.

 

Soon thereafter, I took off by myself along the same path hoping to catch up with my father. My mother and younger brother stayed behind to rest some more.

 

It wasn’t long before I was quite a distance from the resting spot and my father still wasn’t in sight.

 

Then I came over a small hill where something caught my eye. There were a couple of large animals a mere 20 feet off to my left in front of a clump of aspen trees. Yellowstone Park was full of bears and they had a reputation of occasionally mauling a tourist just to prove they could.

 

I froze in my tracks.

 

To my relief, it turned out to be a female moose with a baby moose at her side.

 

Then to my horror, I quickly realized I had encroached upon their territory, much too close, and surprised them. I also knew the most dangerous animals were the ones that were wounded or the ones with young offspring nearby. Off to my right was nothing but a wide-open field. The only trees I could possibly get to were on the opposite side of the moose.

 

I remained frozen hoping they would go away. I considered calling for my father but he was probably too far away to hear and I also didn’t want to startle the moose.

 

Soon my worst nightmare began. The baby moose took a few cautious steps toward me. Big momma moose didn’t like it at all. She began snorting and pawing her hoof into the ground.

 

The baby moose took another step in my direction. I had a fly rod in my right hand. I figured if the moose attacked, I’d fend it off with the fly rod, circle around it and dash into the clump of aspen trees. I even picked one out that looked easy to climb in a hurry.

 

There were several facts I didn’t know about moose at the time. The average moose is over six feet at the shoulder and weighs over a thousand pounds. It can run 35 miles per hour -- about twice as fast as a human being. According to the U.S. Forest Service, more people in America are killed by moose attacks than by bear attacks.

 

And the surest way to provoke a wild animal is to get between it and its offspring.

 

So there I was, patiently waiting to fend off a moose with a fly rod.

 

The baby moose took another step forward and big momma moose was becoming extremely excited. They were so close to me I could actually smell them.

 

Just as I sensed the impending mayhem, big momma moose stopped pawing her hoof and jerked her head back in the direction from which I had just arrived.

 

Then I heard it too. It was my mother and brother coming up over the hill, talking to each other.

 

The baby moose quickly scooted back to big momma and they both scampered off beyond the clump of aspen trees and out of sight.

 

Here are some tips when encountering moose on the loose:

 

1) Don’t run away from a wild animal, especially one that is faster, heavier and dumber than you are.

 

2) Don’t approach a baby wild animal. Any female that has recently given birth has a lot of repressed anger.

 

3) Don’t hike in moose territory alone. If you manage to survive a moose attack, you’ll need someone to drag you back to the car and drive you to the nearest emergency room.

 

4) Don’t try to bring down a moose with a fly rod. Something closer to an AK-47 would be more effective.

 

5) Don’t make any moose jokes. Moose are very sensitive to ridicule.

 

6) Don’t forget to bring a video camera. Moose attacks make good entertainment.

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Quote for the Day -- "Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees..." Henry David Thoreau

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Bret Burquest is the author of four novels, and has recently published THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY (esoteric knowledge) and 1111 HAPPY TRAILS ROAD (humor) -- available of Amazon.com. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and the ghost of Davy Crockett.

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Harold Camping, a former civil engineer, is an 89-year-old preacher from Oakland, California. He founded Family Radio in the 1950s.

 

His radio network creates religious programs in 48 languages and has tens of thousands of followers around the world, with radios stations in such places as Russia, Turkey and South Africa. With assets exceeding $100 million, his religious broadcasting network now owns 66 radio stations in the USA alone.

 

According to Camping, May 21, 2011, will be the Day of Judgment on Planet Earth.

 

He has predicted the Second Coming of the Lord on May 21, whereby two percent of the global population will be instantly propelled into Heaven (known as the Rapture) and the remaining 98 percent will be sent straight to Hell.

 

Camping bases his prediction on 70 years of studying the Bible and mathematics. He believes Jesus Christ died on April 1, in 33 AD (based on the Bible). He then discovered that if you multiply three holy numbers of 5, 10 and 17 together twice you come up with the figure of 722, 500.

 

"When I found this out, it blew my mind," Camping claims.

 

It turns out that May 21, 2011, is exactly 722, 500 days from April 1, 33 AD.

 

Therefore, Camping is certain it will be the Day of Judgment.

 

This isn't the first time Camping has made the same prediction. Years ago, he predicted the Second Coming would be on September 6, 1994.

 

"At that time there was a lot of Bible I had not researched really carefully," was his explanation recently. But he now insists, after further Bible study, that "God has given us outstanding proofs that it really is going to happen."

 

Hallelujah -- proof positive.

 

Since the beginning of time, people possessed with a sense of pending doom, high certainty and a personal pipeline to the Big Kahuna have predicted the end of the world. To my knowledge, it hasn’t happened yet.

 

Near the end of the first millennium, many people in Europe predicted the end of the world would occur in the year 1000. As the date approached, Christian armies from southern Europe waged war against the pagan countries to the north in an attempt to convert them to Christianity, by force if necessary, before Christ returned in 1000. When Christ didn’t return, those who criticized the church were labeled as heretics and exterminated.

 

It didn't happen.

 

In 1346, one-third of the population of Europe was killed by the black plague. Since this proportion seemed to correspond to Biblical prophecy, people presumed the end of the world was imminent. However, Christians had killed a majority of the cats in Europe at the time thinking the felines were associated with witches. Less cats, more rats. It was later discovered that fleas carried by rats caused the plague.

 

The world didn’t end after all.

 

On February 14, 1835, Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon Church, made a pronouncement at a meeting of church leaders that Jesus would return in 56 years.

 

It didn’t happen.

 

The Jehovah Witnesses claimed that the war of Armageddon would start in 1914, based on the prophecy of Daniel, Chapter 4.

 

It didn’t happen.

 

The Jehovah Witnesses subsequently revised their proclamations, many times, to 1915, 1918, 1920, 1925, 1941, 1975, 1994, etc.

 

It didn’t happen, didn’t happen, didn’t happen, etc.

 

The founder of the Worldwide Church of God, Herbert W. Armstrong, predicted that the “Day of the Lord” would occur in 1936.

 

It didn’t happen.

 

Undeterred, Herbert W. Armstrong later predicted it would happen in 1975 instead. Many of his followers gave up all their earthly possessions in anticipation of the Rapture.

 

It didn’t happen.

 

David Davidson wrote a book titled THE GREAT PYRAMID, ITS DIVINE MESSAGE where he claimed the structure of the pyramid of Gizah foretold future events, including the end of the world in August of 1953.

 

It didn’t happen.

 

In 1978, Pat Robertson of the 700 Club announced that the world would end in 1982.

 

It didn’t happen.

 

Hal Lindsey, writer of Christian prophecy, wrote a book in 1970 titled THE LATE, GREAT PLANET EARTH where he claimed the Rapture would commence in 1988 (40 years after the creation of the state of Israel).

 

It didn’t happen.

 

Edgar Whisenaut, a NASA scientist wrote 88 REASONS WHY THE RAPTURE WILL OCCUR IN 1988.

 

It didn’t happen.

 

Prophecy is a tricky business, especially when you credit the Big Kahuna for your inside information. Perhaps, it's not wise to mess with the Big Kahuna if you intend to spend the remainder of eternity in his/her/its presence.

 

On December 21, 2012, I will be hosting an "End of the World" party at my place. There will be an $11 cover change which will be donated to my left pocket. No shoes, no shirt, no problem. Bring snacks.

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Quote for the Day – "Never make predictions, especially about the future." Casey Stengel

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Bret Burquest recently published THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY (available on Amazon) -- topics include collective consciousness, UFOs, parallel dimensions, Edgar Cayce, Atlantis, St. Germain, Carl Jung, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, End of Days, the White Buffalo, Jesse James, Noah's Ark, JFK and MLK assassinations, Dead Sea Scrolls, Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderbergers, Hitler after WW II, reincarnation, Near Death Experience, Mayan calendar 2012, much more.

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At age 30, I left the harsh Minnesota winters for the land of fruits and nuts. I soon found a job as a senior systems analyst for a large computer complex near downtown Los Angeles and rented a house on stilts in the Hollywood Hills, overlooking Universal Studios in the San Fernando Valley.

 

Six months later, I found a better job at a small computer software company next door to Warner Brothers studios. My office was officially in Los Angeles and the movie studio was officially in Burbank, both bordering the tiny community called Toluca Lake -- a small, quaint area within the Los Angeles metropolis.

 

Soon I begin looking for a house to purchase. One day I spotted an ad about a fixer with a pool, within my price range, that was “less than 20 blocks from Bob Hope.” I didn’t know it at the time but the real estate agents in the area used Bob Hope as a point of reference – the closer to Bob Hope’s house, the more exclusive the property. In real estate, location is everything. Apparently, this particular real estate agent had a sense of humor.

 

I bought the house. The pool was basically a swamp and cost several thousand dollars to get back into shape. Every day I drove to work, I passed by Bob Hope’s estate which was a couple of acres surrounded by high walls. I was told he had his own golf hole in the backyard – about a nine-iron shot.

 

Not long thereafter, I married. We sold the house and bought a yacht. We lived on the yacht for six months, then sold it and bought a condo in Sherman Oaks. Next we sold the condo and rented an A-frame in Topanga. Then it was time to buy another house. This time, we found one in an area real estate agents refer to as Toluca Woods, south of Cahuenga Boulevard and north of Riverside Drive, "within 10 blocks of Bob Hope."

 

It was a nice area. William Holden once owned the house at the end of the block. My wife and I often dined at the local hangouts where we would bump into some of the more famous Toluca Lake residents such as Jonathon Winters and Andy Griffith. The fellow I worked for was a member of Lakeside Country Club in Toluca Lake, Bob Hope’s home course. I played a few rounds of golf and occasionally lunched there.

 

Then we divorced. My wife, bless her heart, kept the Toluca Woods house and I moved back into the Hollywood Hills. Oddly enough, I rented a place on the very same street, a little further uphill, as the house on stilts I had rented when I first moved to Los Angeles. Back to square one once again.

 

Anyway, that’s my Bob Hope story. I never met him, or even saw him, yet he seemed to have an impact on my life.

 

Leslie Towne Hope was born in Eltham, England on May 29, 1903. His father was an English stonemason and his mother an aspiring Welch concert singer. In 1907, Leslie’s father moved the family to Cleveland, Ohio. By way of his father’s naturalization, Leslie became known as “Bob.” In 1920, Bob and his brothers became U.S. citizens.

 

During the 1940s and 1950s, Bob Hope was a star of radio, television and the films. He and crooner Bing Crosby were featured in several “Road” pictures and carried on a famous comic feud. Hope was also a frequent host of the Academy Awards ceremonies in Hollywood. Although he never won an Oscar for a film performance, he received five honorary Academy Awards for his contributions to the motion picture industry.

 

Bob Hope will always be remembered for his tireless service to our military troops. He spent much of World War II traveling the globe to entertain Allied Forces. He continued this practice during later conflicts in Korea, Vietnam, the Middle East and elsewhere, well into the 1990s.

 

Bob Hope traveled off on the Road to the Great Beyond on July 27, 2003, at age 100. When his grandson asked him at his deathbed where he wanted to be buried, he remarked, "Surprise me."

 

Thanks for the memories.

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Quote for the Day -- "I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money." Bob Hope

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Bret Burquest recently published THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY (available on Amazon) -- topics include collective consciousness, UFOs, parallel dimensions, Edgar Cayce, Atlantis, St. Germain, Carl Jung, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, End of Days, the White Buffalo, Jesse James, Noah's Ark, JFK and MLK assassinations, Dead Sea Scrolls, Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderbergers, Hitler after WW II, reincarnation, Near Death Experience, Mayan calendar 2012, much more.

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Starting in the mid 1960s, I spent a couple of decades as an ambitious computer programmer and manager, in Minneapolis and Los Angeles. Married for 5 years, then divorced. In my 40s, I was burned out. I quit the full-time corporate grind and became a programmer for hire (hourly rates, short-term contracts). I also left the big city for a less stressful life in the boondocks.

 

After living in the Arizona desert for 6 years, I moved to the Ozark Mountains of northern Arkansas, where I became even more reclusive. With no computer programming jobs available in Redneck Heaven, I managed to get a part-time job teaching computer courses at a local college (2001-2006) and writing a column for a weekly newspaper (2001-2007).

 

When I started at the newspaper, it was understood that I was to be part-time (about 15 hours per week), working primarily on putting the paper together on the computer. But various levels of management had other ideas about my duties whereupon it soon became apparent that I would either have to become embroiled in office politics or leave.

 

I had been with the paper for only two weeks, pondering my next move, when I asked the editor-in-chief on Friday afternoon if I could write an article for the paper. She was a crusty old newspaper warhorse and gruffly told me to go have an interview with an air conditioner.

 

It was early spring. Obviously, she wanted me to write a piece about how everyone should do some maintenance on their air conditioner prior to seasonal usage. But being the smartass rebel I am, I took a different approach.

 

That weekend, I cranked out the short piece below and turned it in to the editor on Monday morning. From that day on I wrote a weekly column for the paper for 7 years straight, never missing an issue, until we got new management with a "my way or the highway" attitude -- I took the highway.

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INTERVIEW WITH AN AIR CONDITIONER

 

One of the news editors suggested I interview an air conditioner. After all, summer was right around the corner and it was assumed readers would want to know the general feelings of their outdoor cooling equipment.

 

I had always been under the impression appliances were incapable of speech but I could be wrong. Rather than question the wisdom of the editor, I decided to go along with it.

 

So I sat on my deck the following Saturday afternoon, gazing at my air conditioner, trying to figure out a way to communicate with it.

 

Finally, I walked right up to it and introduced myself.

 

I wasn’t too surprised at the silence that followed. Then I felt a little embarrassed. After all I had lived there for two years.  Surely it knew who I was by now.

 

“So how’s it going?” I said, as if I was expecting an answer.

 

Again, the air conditioner didn’t respond.

 

However, my dog wandered over for a closer look. She seemed a bit perplexed that I would be talking to the big green box sitting on a slab of concrete next to our abode.

 

“Ya ready for another summer?” I asked the big green box.

 

Again no response.

 

I wanted to ask it if it had a name but was certain I wouldn’t get an answer. For some strange reason, I wanted to call it Frosty. Then I noticed it already had a name engraved on its side that read Intertherm; a proper name for a hunk of cooling equipment.

 

I wondered if Intertherm was looking forward to summer and being in use on a daily basis.

 

Suddenly, my dog tilted her head to the right, as if the big green box had communicated with her.

 

I quickly realized Intertherm was indeed looking forward to heavy usage, after all that’s what machines do.  They delight in running smoothing and helping those who created them.

 

Without uttering another word, I thanked the air conditioner for its fine service and assured it, in my mind, that I would take proper care of it.

 

My dog gave me an understanding look, then ran off to regain her sanity by chasing a squirrel.

 

I have no idea if I actually communicated with my air conditioner but it could’ve been possible. If nothing else, it left me in a good mood. Intertherm seemed to be in a good mood too. I even caught a glimpse of a smile as I walked away.

 

I spent the rest of the afternoon talking to my toaster, mostly about sports.

 

So now that summer is around the corner, have a chat with your air conditioner. But don’t call it Frosty.

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Quote for the Day -- "A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier." H.L. Mencken

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Bret Burquest recently published THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY (available on Amazon) -- topics include collective consciousness, UFOs, parallel dimensions, Edgar Cayce, Atlantis, St. Germain, Carl Jung, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, End of Days, the White Buffalo, Jesse James, Noah's Ark, JFK and MLK assassinations, Dead Sea Scrolls, Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderbergers, Hitler after WW II, reincarnation, Near Death Experience, Mayan calendar 2012, much more.

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In 1961, Joseph Heller wrote a classic novel about military madness during World War II and the human desire to survive it. It was his first novel and he called it CATCH-18. His publisher, Simon & Schuster, felt the title would conflict with the new Leon Uris novel called MILO 18, so they changed it to CATCH-22.

 

In the novel, catch-22 is a term used by bomber pilots to describe their dilemma. In order to get out of combat you must be judged to be crazy, but if you express a desire to get out you are thereby judged to be sane. Therefore, you can never get out of combat. If a pilot wanted to be grounded, all he had to do was ask. But by asking, it proved he was rational and therefore was required to fly.

 

"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on." Joseph Heller

 

Catch-22 is now a term in the English language which means the only solution to a problem is denied by a circumstance (or rule) inherent in the problem. Within a catch-22 rule there is always an exception that makes the rule a circular argument that can’t be resolved.

 

People with power tend to go to great lengths to maintain their power and those without power suffer the consequences. Creating a catch-22 is one way to maintain that power.

 

The real world is full of catch-22s.

 

Getting your first job, particularly in a specialized technical field, is a catch-22. You can’t get the job because you have no experience and you can’t get any experience until you get a job. In Hollywood, it’s nearly impossible to break in. In order to sell a screenplay you must be a member of the Writer’s Guild and you can’t become a member of the Writer’s Guild unless you’ve sold a screenplay. The same is true for actors. You can’t play a part unless you belong to the Actor’s Guild and you can’t get into the Actor’s Guild unless you’ve played a part.

 

Marriage is often a circumstance without a solution, a circular argument that can’t be resolved, making it a classical catch-22. You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.

 

Our entire banking system is built around a catch-22. If you are poor and desperately need a loan, you don’t qualify for a loan. But if you can prove that you have enough accumulated net worth, in other words don’t really need a loan, then you qualify.

 

Military strength is another catch-22. The USA spends an excessive amount of money building a powerful military to protect itself from its potential enemies, thereby creating more potential enemies who resent the powerful military in the first place. The stronger we become, the more despised we become. Thus, the stronger we become, the stronger we must become.

 

As the lone superpower on Earth we have become trapped in our own catch-22. We see ourselves as noble crusaders saving the rest of the world from evil, while the rest of the world sees us as self-appointed global cops perpetuating evil by imposing our will on others. Even if our intentions are honorable, it doesn’t mean they will be perceived that way or that they will always be honorable in the future. Being the toughest dude on the block requires cooperation and restraint. No one likes a bully. And no one likes a self-appointed cop either. A planet with a single superpower is a planet out of balance.

 

Even your basic personality is a catch-22. Honesty often offends people whereas deceit gratifies them with what they want to hear. You can alienate people with your opinions or you can accommodate them by being agreeable. Pleasing others and being an honest human being with conviction are in direct conflict.

 

Life is a catch–22. You can make dust or eat dust. Either way, it’s always dusty.

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Quote for the Day -- "Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them." Joseph Heller

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Bret Burquest recently published THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY (available on Amazon) -- topics include collective consciousness, UFOs, parallel dimensions, Edgar Cayce, Atlantis, St. Germain, Carl Jung, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, End of Days, the White Buffalo, Jesse James, Noah's Ark, JFK and MLK assassinations, Dead Sea Scrolls, Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderbergers, Hitler after WW II, reincarnation, Near Death Experience, Mayan calendar 2012, much more.

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The USA controls three percent of the world's proven oil supply yet consumes 25 percent of the world's oil, thereby allowing foreign governments, corrupt political leaders and terrorists to have leverage on our economy.

 

To make matters worse, the USA production of crude oil has been curtailed in the aftermath of the British Petroleum oil spill in the Gulf in April of 2010 whereby off-shore drilling has been put on hold by the Obama Administration.

 

Under these conditions, oil industry insiders reap large profits and cause economic instability. The USA has become dependent on foreign suppliers, particularly from the Middle East where self-centered sheiks and tyrants squander zillions of dollars on themselves while their subjects struggle in poverty.

 

But suppose the supply of oil was somehow regenerating itself and not in danger of being depleted after all.

 

Dr. Thomas Gold is a physicist at Cornell University. Some of his accomplishments include landmark research on the workings of the ear, developing the mathematics of the rules of cosmology, and overseeing the construction and operation of the world's largest radio telescope in Arecibo, Puerto Rico.

 

Dr. Gold is also a proponent of the abiotic theory of oil. Developed by the Russians in the 1950s, the abiotic theory states that oil is not derived from decayed plant and animal life, but is rather a bio-product of a continual biochemical reaction below the surface of the earth that is forced to attainable depths by the centrifugal forces of the earth's rotation.

 

In other words, oil is continually being produced (created) deep within the planet and "seeps" toward the surface by the centrifugal force of the rotation of the planet, which rotates at a speed of over 1,000 miles per hour at the equator, as Planet Earth travels through the Universe at 67,000 miles per hour. Basically, Planet Earth is a spinning, moving orb through space.

 

THE DEEP HOT BIOSPHERE: THE MYTH OF FOSSIL FUELS is Dr. Gold's groundbreaking book, published in 1998, that promotes the idea that oil is not a fossil fuel and, contrary to popular belief, is a renewable resource.

 

While conventional scientific wisdom dictates that life is formed on the Earth's surface, with the aid of the sun, Dr. Gold believes that most living entities reside deep within the Earth's crust at temperatures exceeding 100 degrees Celsius, living off of methane and other hydrocarbons.

 

Although highly regarded as a physicist, Dr. Gold has had a history as being a maverick. In the 1950s, the first radio astronomers discovered odd radio sources in the sky and thought they were unusual stars. Dr. Gold claimed they were actually distant galaxies. Years later, with new technology, Dr. Gold was proven to be correct.

 

In the 1960s, a different type of radio source was detected in the skies, flashing on and off with regularity. Dr. Gold wrote that these pulsars were neutron stars, the existence of which had been predicted but had never been seen. Although many of his colleagues scoffed at this explanation, once again Dr. Gold was proven to be correct.

 

Jerome R. Corsi (PhD from Harvard) is the author of 18 books, including ATOMIC IRAN and UNFIT FOR COMMAND. Craig R. Smith, Chairman of the board of Swiss America Trading Company, is the author of 24 scholarly books. Corsi and Smith have co-authored BLACK GOLD STRANGLEHOLD, which shares the notion that oil is continually created deep inside the planet and contends that the so-called scarcity is a marketing ploy to charge higher prices.

 

For example, researchers at the Royal Institute of Technology in Sweden, as well as other studies, have demonstrated that fossils from plants and animals are not necessary to create crude oil or natural gas.

 

It's a fact that numerous capped wells which were formerly dry have been discovered to be plentiful once again after many years. Perhaps this is newly created oil "seeping upward" by the pressure of the expansion of newly created crude oil (and centrifugal force).

 

According to various sources, including NASA, USGS and many oceanographic institutes, there is a "natural" oil seepage into the earth's oceans, estimated to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 75 millions gallons of crude oil per year. Once again, this is clearly an example of "seeping upward" on the ocean floor from lower depths below the floor surface -- highly unlikely to be extinct dinosaur juice "trapped" under the depths of the ocean.

 

In 1542, Spanish explorer Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo used tar from natural oil seepage, known to sailors as asphaltum, off the coast of North America to waterproof his ships -- just as the Native American Chumash Indians did with their canoes. In 1792, English explorer George Vancouver noted in his log that parts of the Pacific Coast were covered in all directions "with an oily surface so thick that the entire sea took on an iridescent hue."

 

Natural seepage of oil under the ocean, which is currently monitored by NASA, continues to this day. And 75 million gallons of crude oil seeping upward from the ocean floor every year is no small amount -- additional evidence of the possibility of oil perpetually regenerating itself.

 

Presently, in the Spring of 2011, the Middle East is in extreme turmoil. World War III may be on the horizon. And it's all about the availability and production of crude oil, supposedly a limited resource formed millions of years ago by decaying vegetation and extinct animals.

 

However, all of this spilled blood in the Middle East may be unnecessary. Perhaps oil is a renewal resource, continually generating additional crude oil deep within the earth whereby it seeps upward toward the surface on a regular basis.

 

Perhaps there are those within the oil industry (and elsewhere) who are aware of the abiotic phenomenon but remain silent (or prevent disclosure) of this fact in order to remain highly profitable.

 

Food for thought.

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Quote for the Day – "Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water." Miguel de Cervantes

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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four fiction novels. He has recently published a nonfiction book titled THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY (available in paperback or Kindle on Amazon) -- mind-bending topics such as collective consciousness, UFO phenomena, parallel dimensions, Edgar Cayce, St. Germain, Carl Jung, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, the End of Days, the White Buffalo, Jesse James, Noah's Ark, JFK and MLK assassinations, Dead Sea Scrolls, Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderbergers, Hitler after World War II, reincarnation, Near Death Experience and Mayan calendar 2012.

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