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Men are fallen beings. The wheelbarrow was invented so they could walk on their hind legs.

 

Women are fallen beings. The pedestal was invented to give them a better view and a place to be seen.

 

Being in love is a fallen state. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

 

Fallen beings often fall in love. But the odds of a fallen being finding a compatible mate are about the same as finding Jimmy Hoffa in a talkative mood.

 

Falling in love is only a starting point. When looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, for better or worse, there are many factors to take into account.

 

1) The Chemistry Factor – You should be physically attracted to your mate and your mate should be physically attracted to you. If both conditions don’t exist, you’d be better off mating with a beach ball.

 

2) The Intelligence Factor – Two potential mates should have the same general intellect. If one is smart and the other is a dunderhead, there’s no common ground. Intellectual pursuits and professional wrestling don’t mix.

 

3) The Social Factor – One mate wants to mingle with the rest of the world, while the other one wants to hang around the house and talk to house plants. Inevitably, the mingler will hook up with another mingler, abandoning the homebody to mingle as a single.

 

4) The Money Factor -- One mate spends money like it grows on trees and the other one saves pennies in a jar. This will cause a serious clash, followed by a Chapter 7, and ending with a separation to cheaper digs for both.

 

5) The Ambition Factor – One mate is ambitious and the other is a couch potato. The ambitious mate will soon be driven to greener pastures by their work ethic. The couch potato will get to keep the couch.

 

6) The Personality Factor – One mate is an introvert and the other is an extravert. Sometimes the introvert will simply go insane but it will go unnoticed. Extraverts can’t help being obnoxious. Many of them move to California and try to get into show business. Those who stay behind often become lawyers or preachers.

 

7) The Pet Factor – Dog people belong with dog people. Cat people belong with cat people. Those without pets belong with other pet-less people. Bird people may belong with other people, except with cat people who should only belong with other cat people. Goldfish people should remain single.

 

8) The Sports Factor – Men love football. Women love figure skating. Women who love football are highly compatible with men. Men who love figure skating but don’t like football should be required to move to France.

 

9) The Tidy Factor – If one mate is neat-nick and the other mate is a slob, the neat-nick will eventually have a nervous breakdown. Normally, the slob is a man. If the slob is a woman, it’s likely she’s going through a hormonal phase or she’s a Capricorn.

 

10) The Humor Factor – If one mate is a wisecracking jokester and the other one has no sense of humor, the only communication possible will be loud, angry, incoherent or nonexistent. If one mate likes sophisticated political satire and the other one likes the Three Stooges, they belong on different planets.

 

11) The Values Factor – A couple should possess the same general set of values. If one mate gets a thrill out of bashing mailboxes while the other one is off doing voluntary charity work, the odds of the relationship lasting are about the same as the odds of remaining unscathed after bashing the county sheriff’s mailbox.

 

12) The Toilet Seat Factor – One mate leaves the toilet seat up on occasion while the other mate insists it be put down. Mostly it’s women who want it down. Men who want it down have deep psychological problems.

 

Other factors include religious, political, sexual, children, occupation, music, etc. The list goes on and on.

 

Falling in love is easy. So is falling off a cliff. Like falling in love, the end result can be rather unpleasant if you mess with the wrong cliff. A happy landing always depends on many factors that go unnoticed until after you've taken the plunge.

 

Men and women are fallen beings yearning for intimate companionship, hoping to find the right mate and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, ever after often ends in about five years.

 

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Quote for the Day – "I almost dated a psychic woman once, but she dumped me before we met." Bret

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If our subconscious thoughts were pleasant, we wouldn't have to bury them so deep.

 

The "id" is one of three categories of the human psyche. Completely unconscious, it is the source of psychic energy derived from instinctual desires -- the subconscious mind. The other two categories are ego (consciousness, perception of reality) and super-ego (sense of morality, guilt).

 

According to Sigmund Freud, the id is "the dark, inaccessible part of our personality.... striving to bring about the satisfaction of the instinctual needs subject to the observance of the pleasure principle."

 

In other words, the id is lurking deep within us, remaining hidden from our conscious thoughts, driven by primal instincts.

 

Actor Leslie Nielsen died on November 28. 2010, at age 84. He had appeared in over 100 movies. Known primarily for his comedic roles in movies such as AIRPLANE and NAKED GUN, he was featured in the 1956 MGM classic science fiction movie THE FORBIDDEN PLANET as the commander of a spaceship on a rescue mission, only his second film.

 

The plot and characters of THE FORBIDDEN PLANET were inspired by William Shakespeare's THE TEMPEST. The thrust of the story-line includes a "plastic educator" device which advances one's intelligence. However, it also has the capacity to create "Monsters of the Id" -- manifesting malevolent beings that kill the subjects of the subconscious anger of the person utilizing the device. Thus, the monsters are an extension of the id of the person unknowingly creating them.

 

Sometimes, so-called reality is stranger than fiction.

 

In October of 1943, the U.S. Navy conducted a Top Secret exercise in the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard that attempted to render a vessel (the USS Eldridge) invisible to radar detection. Part of the experiment also dealt with investigating possible military applications of rotating magnetic fields applied to humans, as a potential psychological warfare tool. It was part of an operation called "Project Rainbow," later dubbed the Philadelphia Experiment. The results were unfavorable to catastrophic, depending upon which version you read.

 

According to various sources, researchers from the Philadelphia Experiment met in 1952-53 whereupon they obtained approval and funding from the U.S. Department of Defense to develop a weapon that would induce symptoms of psychotic disorders and schizophrenia. It was called the "Phoenix Project" and initially began operations at the Brookhaven National Laboratory on Long Island, New York. For several reasons, it was soon moved to a nearby decommissioned U.S. Air Force Base at Montauk, New York.

 

By 1967-68, all the equipment and operations had been moved underground beneath the former Air Force base. In 1969, the surface area became a wildlife refuge, while everything underground was designated a "D1 Base" and property of the U.S. Air Force.

 

Many experiments were conducted as part of the Montauk Project. These supposedly included time travel and contact with intelligent beings beyond Earth.

 

In 1983, one of the resident psychics (Duncan Cameron) sat in the "Montauk Chair" and visualized a monster. The monster then materialized and went on a rampage. Described as 25 feet tall, the monster developed a mind of his own and began destroying everything in its path.

 

It was a real-life creation of a "Monster of the Id" and it apparently got everyone's attention in a hurry. Scientists hacked away at equipment with axes until the power finally went down. The Monster then dematerialized and the project was soon abandoned.

 

Beware of what you visualize -- it may come storming angrily out of your id into reality and scare your cat.

 

I have a friend in California who had a very serious Near Death Experience (NDE) in 2002. Ever since, she has experienced elevated psychic abilities, plus a much wider visual and auditory sensory range than before. Everything we see is made up of a vast array of frequencies (vibrations). Human senses are based on frequencies. The frequency range of human sight and hearing is exceedingly small compared to what exists all around us.

 

My friend's sensory frequency ranges have expanded. She now has the ability to see "entities" drifting into and out of and near by other people. She continually sees them around us in our daily lives. Perhaps these are Creatures of the Id, being formed in a nearby dimension (frequency). My friend senses they are with us always, yet out of our sensory range of frequencies. Some are malevolent -- perhaps Monsters of the Id. Others are angelic -- perhaps spirit guides. And many seem to be benign -- perhaps observant watchers.

 

Everything we perceive in our material world is made up of atoms -- electrons orbiting a nucleus of protons. It's an assembly of energy, not solid matter. And it's more than 99 percent empty space. Basically, everything we perceive as solid is merely a glob of energy. We are not objects, we are perceivers of objects. In fact, there are those who believe the entire universe is manifested by a collective consciousness.

 

Creatures of the Id are almost certainly globs of energy as well, surfacing when compelled by another frequency (the host) or whatever.

 

Delving into the mysteries of the universe and beyond is not for the timid. I don't know all the answers, but I do have a lot of the questions.

 

In the movie AIRPLANE, when told, "Surely, you can't be serious." -- Leslie Nielsen uttered the famous line, "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."

 

R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen -- Shirley, you will be missed.

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Quote for the Day -- "Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives." Robert Collier

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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where Creatures of the Id fear to tread. His blogs appear on several websites, including www.myspace.com/bret1111

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We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. Those who obtain high levels of stupidity often get into financial derivative futures contracts, multi-level marketing pyramid schemes, armed robbery or politics. Some stupid quotes below, followed by observations from me (BB).

 

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer

(BB -- Perhaps you should take the shortcut next time)

 

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." George W Bush, former U.S. President

(BB -- For the best results sneak up behind them)

 

"I'm someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch." - Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

(BB -- Perhaps your emotions run a tad too deep on occasion)

 

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity." - Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House

(BB -- Most people in Texas, all hat and no cattle, are filled with humidity, especially during the summer)

 

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate." - Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

(BB -- If you take out the politicians, Washington actually has a low moron rate)

 

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer

(BB -- Lots of deaths in falling off of high cliffs too, but none of them serious)

 

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." - Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player

(BB -- If it's a girl, you will be the Maid of Honor)

 

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean, baseball player

(BB -- You should consider getting into politics)

 

"For most people, death comes at the end of their lives." - Radio broadcaster, UK

(BB -- Unless death comes earlier)

 

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." - Greg Norman, Golfer

(BB -- They must be so proud)

 

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer

(BB -- I get up at high noon regardless of what time it is, unless I sleep late)

 

"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey, Pop Singer

(BB -- Flies and death and stuff can be very annoying, but being skinny makes it all worthwhile)

 

"I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid." - Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer

(BB -- I'd say it's a toss-up)

 

"Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future." - Yogi Berra, Baseball player

(BB -- That's why you should only make predictions about the past)

 

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields, actress

(BB -- I believe Buddha said that first)

 

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

(BB -- Let's not be too hasty on that)

 

"I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

(BB -- A gay marriage between a man and a woman works best if they have the same shoe size)

 

"Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion." - Madonna

(BB -- Ditto)

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Quote for the Day -- "Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid." John Wayne

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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where eccentricity is an acceptable form of stupidity. His blogs appear on several websites, including www.myspace.com/bret1111

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Human beings are idiots. They often prove it whenever they open their mouths, which is why I live alone in the woods and keep my mouth shut. Some quotes from idiots below, followed by observations from me (BB).

 

Eva Longoria, actress, when asked to describe her year in five words --"My urine? Describe my urine in five words? I don't think I can do it in five. Oh --- my year!"

 (BB -- I can describe my urine in 3 words)

 

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Al Gore, former U.S. vice president

(BB -- is he describing global warming or his latest confab with Tipper?)

 

"If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?” - Cynthia Heimel, Author

(BB -- Duh)

 

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.” - Doug Collins, basketball commentator

(BB -- Basketball commentators are former basketball players, basically tall non-mathematicians)

 

"I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents.” - George Wallace 1968 presidential campaign

(BB -- Wallace was the former governor of Alabama. In Alabama, everyone can count to 10, unless they are missing some fingers)

 

"The world is more like it is now then it ever has before." - Dwight Eisenhower, former U.S. President

(BB -- Actually, the world is more like it was before when it was more like it was when it was now)

 

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on." - Samuel Goldwyn, early movie producer

(BB -- Unless it's written on the wind)

 

"To me, the greatest book of all time is The Bible because there's some religious stuff in it!" - Jim Rosenberg, author

(BB -- Lots of blood and lust, but a very complex plot)

 

"I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars there, it's so petty." - Imelda Marcos, former First Lady in the Philippines

(BB -- Imelda owned 5,000 pairs of shoes while much of her nation lived in poverty. There are human light-workers and human pigs. Oink, oink, Ms. First Lady)

 

"People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius." -  Jerry Lewis, comedian

(BB -- No, people hate you because you are an egomaniacal, self-absorbed, self-righteous, internationally famous jerk)

 

"Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it?" - Harry News, music reviewer

(BB -- And if you can answer that, you win a cookie)

 

"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me." - Andre Dawson, former professional baseball player

(BB -- I prefer a hand-held copulating device with fresh batteries)

 

"The internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

(BB -- A bathtub is a great way to take a bath)

 

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." - Greg Norman, Golfer

(BB -- Norman is from Australia, where everything is upside-down))

 

"Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline

(BB -- That's why blondes have more fun)

 

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean, former professional baseball player

(BB -- If they found nothing, it means nothing was not missing)

 

"Half of this game is ninety percent mental." - Danny Ozark, Phillies manager

(BB -- Half of a baseball game is ninety percent boring. The other ninety percent is peanuts and beer.)

 

"That scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." - A congressional candidate in Texas.

(BB -- In Texas, this statement is redundant)

 

"For those of you haven't read the book, it's being published tomorrow.” - David Frost, British Talk Show Host

(BB -- Frost is British. He serves a queen. He has been emasculated by his surroundings. One cannot expect an emasculated queen-worshiper to know yesterday from tomorrow.)

 

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads." - Vlade Divac, Basketball player

(BB -- Obviously, I have a lot more information stored in my head than needed)

 

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" - Christina Aguilera

(BB -- Cannes, Iowa)

 

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I'm still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." - Senator Barbara Boxer (D-Cal)

(BB -- My life will never be the same after learning that Congress is made up of idiots)

 

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer

(BB -- I get up every day at noon, regardless of whether it's night or day)

 

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe." - Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.

(BB -- It's only people who are idiots)

 

"I need more sex, okay? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world." - Angelina Jolie

(BB -- Drop by and nibble on me, babe. I taste a bit like rhubarb dipped in brake fluid)

 

"Solutions are not the answer." - Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

(BB -- And the answers from DC are never the solutions either. It works both ways.)

 

"We'd like to avoid problems, because when we have problems, we can have troubles." – former Arizona Governor Wesley Bolin

(BB -- Yes, problems can be troubles. But a penny saved is a penny earned)

 

"Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed" - Brad Pitt, actor.

(BB -- Hey, Brad. Your main squeeze is headed my way to taste me. I will break wind to make her feel at home.)

 

"Underwear is such an emotional thing." - Elle MacPherson, actress

(BB -- Being in a fight with a grizzly bear, with only an empty can of beer and a lead pencil, is also an emotional thing)

 

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" - Lee Iacocca

(BB -- No, it is you who must pause and ask yourself: Should I make an appointment to have my head examined?)

 

During the 1994 Miss USA Pageant, Amie Beth Dickinson, Miss Alabama, in response to the question: If you could live forever, would you and why? -- "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

(BB -- If we were supposed to be smart, then we would be smart, but we cannot be smart, which is why we are not smart.)

 

My ex-wife once told me, after making a very costly purchase, "I put it on the credit card so it really didn't cost anything."

(BB -- All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. And as everybody knows, problems can lead to troubles.)

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Quote for the Day -- "Stupid is as stupid does." Forrest Gump

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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where animals are fifty percent smarter than ninety percent of the humanoids. His blogs appear on several websites, including www.myspace.com/bret1111

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Life is like a dream -- you never know you're asleep, trapped in an illusion, until you wake up.

 

In our three-dimensional plane of existence, the world is not what it seems. What appears to be solid is basically empty space. Everything we perceive, such as earth, stars, animals, vegetation, people, buildings, etc., is made up of atoms. An atom consists of electrons orbiting a nucleus of protons. It's an assembly of energy, not solid matter. And it's more than 99 percent empty space.

 

Therefore, everything we perceive as solid is basically a glob of energy.

 

Furthermore, what we call "everything" (the universe and beyond) is made up of a vast array of frequencies or vibrations. Human senses are based on frequencies. Humans are only able to visualize "objects" that reflect light. The frequency range of human sight is exceedingly miniscule compared to what exists all around us.

 

Therefore, humans are unable to perceive alternate dimensions driven by other frequencies.

 

Eastern religions (Hinduism, Sikhism, etc.) believe the material world is an illusion. They call this illusion Maya. Unlike true reality, which is changeless and eternal, Maya (illusion) is all that has a beginning and an end.

 

The path of spiritual enlightenment requires understanding of the Seven Pillars of Ancient Wisdom.

 

1) All things, organic or inorganic, from atom to galaxy, contain a living presence.

2) Every living presence resides within the body of a greater being.

3) Every being is made in the image of an ultimate greater being.

4) The vibration of every living presence is felt by every other living presence in our solar system.

5) Our solar system is constructed from energies which vibrate to seven levels.

6) Energy and matter are interchangeable. The material world is an illusion.

7) There is no death, only a change of state.

 

In a world where people exist in a temporary life spanning seven or eight decades, feverishly attempting to accumulate things, modern science appears to be catching up with ancient wisdom.

 

In 1982, physicist Alain Aspect (University of Paris) discovered that "under certain circumstances subatomic particles such as electrons are able to instantaneously communicate with each other regardless of the distance separating them." It doesn't matter if they are 10 feet or 10 billion miles apart, somehow each particle always seems to know what the other is doing. This may be one of the most important discoveries in history.

 

This revelation would confirm step 4 in the Seven Pillars of Ancient Wisdom, which would seem to lend credence to the previous three steps as well. The universe is basically a living entity made up of living entities.

 

Physicist David Bohm (University of London) believes Aspect's findings suggest that material reality does not exist. Despite the apparent solidity of the universe, it's actually a hologram (a three-dimensional "image" that is an illusion of a three-dimensional solid reality). Bohm contends that the subatomic particles are able to remain in contact with one another because their separateness is also an illusion.

 

If true, this would verify step 6 of the Seven Pillars of Ancient Wisdom that the material world is an illusion.

 

Aspect's discovery would explain such human paranormal phenomena as psychic abilities, remote viewing, out-of-body journeys, near-death experiences, precognitive renderings, premonitions, etc. A woman in Detroit has a bad "feeling" about her son in Seattle just before he has an auto crash, or a person who nurtures his plants with kindness has a garden that flourishes. Everything is connected, regardless of time or distance.

 

Neurophysiologist Karl Pribram (Stanford University), a proponent of a holographic universe, has theorized that memories are not encoded in neurons of the brain but rather in patterns of nerve impulses that crisscross the entire brain. Experiments were conducted whereby various portions of the brain of a rat were removed yet the rat was still able to perform tasks (its memory remained intact). According to Pribram, the brain itself is a hologram.

 

The findings of Bohm and Pribram have become known as the "Holographic Paradigm" in the scientific community. While many scientists are skeptical of this theory, there's also a growing group of researchers who believe these speculations may be the most accurate model of reality so far.

 

There is no physical world.

 

We are not objects.

 

We are perceivers of objects.

 

According to certain Native American folklore, the Great Spirit that lives within the Great Mystery gathered all the animals on Mother Earth and said, "I must conceal the Realization, that humans create their own reality, until they are able to comprehend it."

 

The Buffalo, most sacred of all animals, said, "I will bury it in the great plains."

 

"No, humans will dig and find it there," replied the Great Spirit.

 

The Whale, keeper of ancient knowledge, said, "I will carry it to the bottom of the ocean."

 

"No, humans will go there one day and find it," replied the Great Spirit.

 

The eagle, close to the heavens where the Great Spirit dwells, said, "I'll fly it to the moon."

 

"No, humans will soon go there too and find it," replied the Great Spirit.

 

The Owl, essence of true wisdom, said, ""Put it inside them."

 

"Yes," replied the Great Spirit. "It is the last place they will look."

 

I am an illusion named Bret, masquerading as a human being on a small planet in a far corner of an average galaxy, wondering why.

 

I am a mystery within the Great Mystery.

 

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Quote for the Day -- "It is your mind that creates the world." Buddha

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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and the reality of the illusion of reality. His blogs appear on several websites, including www.myspace.com/bret1111

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THANKSGIVING

 

As I write this piece, Thanksgiving in 2010 occurred yesterday. I stayed home this year and cleaned the bathroom, another annual event at my place.

 

On December 4, 1619, the first Thanksgiving celebration was held in America at the Berkeley Plantation in Virginia. Thirty-eight English settlers attended the event. It was part of their original charter to set aside one day every year to observe a day of thanksgiving for their annual harvest. Due to hardships and other factors, the annual festivities lasted only one year.

 

On December 11, 1620, one hundred and two Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock. The first winter was brutal. Nearly half died from starvation and illness. The following summer, assisted by friendly Indians, the survivors reaped a bountiful harvest. To show their appreciation, Governor William Bradford invited nearly 100 Indians to join the Pilgrims in a feast of thanksgiving, starting on December 13, 1621, and lasting for three days.

 

Two years later, the Pilgrims were hit with a draught. One day they gathered to pray for rain. The next morning it started to rain and didn’t stop for several days. With the crops saved, Governor Bradford, being the party animal he was, declared another day of thanksgiving. Once again the Indians were invited.

 

As other settlers arrived to the colonies, they too held their own thanksgiving celebrations, each independent of the other.

 

In 1668, the government decided to get involved, as governments tend to do, declaring November 25 to be Thanksgiving Day. This proclamation lasted only five years.

 

The first national celebration of Thanksgiving occurred in 1777. It was a one-time event to celebrate the American victory over the British at Saratoga. Americans love to celebrate wars, which may be why they participate in so many of them.

 

In 1789, President George Washington created a proclamation declaring Thanksgiving a national event, to be held on the first Thursday of November. Apparently, the first President was a party animal too.

 

John Adams, the second President, moved Thanksgiving from Thursday to the previous Wednesday. Politicians are often meddlesome nitwits who believe that making changes, whether they make sense or not, are a sign of leadership. Later in his tenure, Adams moved it back to Thursday.

 

Not much of a party animal, the Third President, Thomas Jefferson, was opposed to Thanksgiving and cancelled the national festivities.

 

Finally, in July of 1863, shortly after the Battle of Gettysburg during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln declared the last Thursday in November as a national day of Thanksgiving. Over the next 75 years, every President followed Lincoln’s precedent, annually declaring a national Thanksgiving Day.

 

Then in 1941, when Congress had a majority of party animals on hand, Congress permanently established the fourth Thursday of November as a national holiday called Thanksgiving Day.

 

Thanksgiving is a tradition in my family. Some of last year’s activities included:

 

1) Built a pyramid of empty beer cans at halftime of football game.

2) Performed the Heimlich maneuver on my nephew to remove a walnut.

3) Moved a couch over the spot where the cat threw up to avoid a messy cleanup.

4) Debated Uncle Earl about the impact of global warming on Japanese baseball.

5) Wrestled with my brother to see who got the wishbone.

6) After dinner we set up the Christmas tree in anticipation of the next holiday in line.

7) Most of us took a short nap, except for Uncle Earl who kept debating by himself.

8) Wrestled with my brother to see who got stuck driving crazy Aunt Edna to the airport.

9) Scanned the Internet, looking for a list of symptoms of salmonella.

 

Thanksgiving is an occasion to thank Mother Earth for blessing you with a bountiful harvest and to thank Father Time for allowing you to enjoy life for another year. And to remind yourself to start your annual diet, right after the New Year rolls in.

 

Life is a precious experience. Be thankful for all the joy and sorrow it brings -- for without sorrow, there would be no joy.

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Quote for the Day -- "To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do." Victor Hugo

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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where road-kill makes a fine holiday feast. His blogs appear on several websites, including www.myspace.com/bret1111

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Fifty years ago, in 1960, I was 16 years old, trying to survive another year in high school in the suburbs of Minneapolis. I had a 1953 Chevy, gas was 25 cents per gallon and I was an adventurous explorer of my surroundings and beyond.

 

The following events took place in 1960.

 

Jan 2 -- Sen. John F. Kennedy (D-Mass) announced his candidacy for the Democratic presidential election

 

Jan 14 -- The U.S. Army promoted Elvis Presley to Sergeant

 

Feb 10 -- Adolph Coors (beer maker) was kidnapped in Golden, Colorado

 

Feb 11 -- Jack Paar walked off the Tonight Show (he was a neurotic chap, with a high sense of self-worth and very little sense of reality -- much like my ex-wife’s cat)

 

Feb 18 -- The 8th Winter Olympic Games opened in Squaw Valley, California

 

Feb 21 -- The Cuban government placed all Cuban industry under government control (after all, no one knows more about running industry than government bureaucrats)

 

Feb 28 -- The Winter Olympic Games formally closed with the U.S. hockey team winning the gold medal

 

Feb 29 -- An earthquake hit Morocco, killing 12,000 people

 

Mar 3 -- 15 inches of snow fell on New York City

 

Mar 4 -- Lucille Ball filed for divorce from Desi Arnaz

 

Mar 5 -- Elvis Presley was discharged from the U.S. Army after his 2-year obligation (whereupon he was free to grow his hair back to unacceptable lengths and load it with grease)

 

Mar 6 -- Switzerland granted women the right to vote

 

Apr 1 -- The first weather satellite was launched into space

 

Apr 2 -- France exploded an atom bomb in the Sahara Desert (it went boom and made a big hole)

 

Apr 4 -- “Ben-Hur” won Best Picture at the Academy Awards

 

May 1 -- A USSR missile shot down an American U-2 spy plane whereupon pilot Francis Gary Powers was held in the USSR for 21 months (in a world of secrets, paranoia will destroy ya)

 

May 6 -- President Eisenhower signed the Civil Rights Act of 1960

 

May 10 -- John F. Kennedy won the West Virginia primary (with the help of Frank Sinatra, Sam Giancana and mob controlled unions)

 

May 11 -- Israeli soldiers captured Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann in Argentina and transported him to Israel where he was found guilty of crimes against humanity and hung in 1962

 

May 19 -- The Belgian government required a rest day for self-employed people (it’s always comforting when one’s government makes rules for its subjects -- it saves people from having to perform the pesky task of making their own decisions)

 

May 23 -- A 9.5 earthquake in Chile caused a tidal wave that destroyed 537 buildings and killed 61 people in Hawaii

 

May 26 -- A hidden microphone was discovered in a wood carving of the Great Seal of the United States in the new U.S. embassy in Moscow (in a world of secrets, paranoia will destroy ya)

 

Jun 7 -- Hugh Hefner open the first Playboy Club, in Chicago

 

Jun 11 -- The state of California ordered smog devices on automobiles, the first such law in the USA

 

Jun 22 -- The Eisenhower administration created the Arctic National Wildlife Range on 9 million acres in Alaska

 

Jul 1 -- The USSR shot down a US RB-47 reconnaissance plane (in a world of secrets, paranoia will destroy ya)

 

Jul 4 -- The 50-star USA flag made its debut, to honor Hawaii’s admission as the 50th state admitted into the union the previous summer

 

Jul 9 -- USSR premier Khrushchev threatened to use rockets to protect Cuba from the USA

 

Jul 13 -- John F. Kennedy won the Democratic presidential nomination in Los Angeles

 

Jul 14 -- A fire in an insane asylum in Guatemala killed 225 and injured 300 people

 

Jul 27 -- Vice President Richard Nixon was nominated for president at the Republican national convention in Chicago

 

Jul 30 -- Over 60,000 Buddhists marched in protest against the Diem government in South Vietnam

 

Aug 6 -- Chubby Checker introduced a dance called “The Twist” on the Dick Clark Show (it was a dance for dweebs and I refused to take part in the short-lived fad)

 

Aug 9 -- A race riot erupted in Jacksonville, Florida

 

Aug 13 -- The first 2-way telephone conversation by satellite occurred

 

Aug 18 -- The Beatles gave their first public performance, in Germany

 

Aug 19 -- The USSR launched a spaceship satellite called Sputnik, which included 2 dogs, 40 mice, 2 rats and various plants, and it returned safely to Earth a day later with the 2 dogs, named Belka and Strelka, becoming the first living animals to survive orbital flight

 

Aug 25 -- At the Summer Olympics in Rome, Wilma Rudolph, who had contracted polio in childhood and spent 6 years wearing a steel brace, won three gold medals in track events

 

Aug 31 -- The CIA recruited ex-FBI agent Roberrt Maheu to approach mobster Johnny Roselli in an attempt to get organized crime figures involved in a plot to poison Cuban dictator Fidel Castro (In 1976, just prior to testifying before a U.S. Senate committee on the JFK assassination, Johnny Roselli’s decomposing body, minus his legs, was found in a oil drum floating in a bay near Miami -- he was not in a talkative mood)

 

Sep 5 -- Cassius Clay, who would later change his name to Mohammad Ali, won the light heavyweight gold medal in the boxing competition at the Olympics in Rome (later that year, he would throw his gold medal into the Ohio River after being refused service at a restaurant in Louisville, his hometown)

 

Sep 14 -- OPEC, a cartel of oil producing countries, was formed by Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Venezuela (they wear funny headgear and dictate the price of oil to the world)

 

Sep 24 -- The USS Enterprise, the first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier, was launched at Newport News, Virginia

 

Sep 26 -- Ted Williams of the Boston Red Sox hit his 521st home run in his last time at bat (he was wearing red socks)

 

Sep 26 -- Fidel Castro made a 4 hour and 29 minute speech at the United Nations General Assembly, the longest speech in UN history (he was wearing green socks)

 

Sep 30 -- The first prime time animation TV show premiered, called “The Flintstones” (no socks, bare feet)

 

Oct 1 -- Nigeria gained independence from Great Britain

 

Oct 10 -- A cyclone hit the coast of the Gulf of Bengal, killing 4,000 people

 

Oct 11 -- A hurricane in East Pakistan killed 6,000 people

 

Oct 12 -- USSR premier Khrushchev pounded his shoe on his desk at the UN General Assembly session when someone criticized his country (He was wearing a black sock on his left foot, with a gaping hole allowing the big toe to point toward New Jersey)

 

Oct 13 -- The Pittsburgh Pirates won the World Series when Bill Mazeroski hit a homerun in the 9th inning (he was wearing white socks with black leggings)

 

Oct 13 -- Opponents of Fidel Castro were executed in Cuba

 

Oct 14 -- The Cuban government nationalized all sugar assets and made itself custodian of all arts and artifacts

 

Oct 19 -- President Eisenhower imposed an embargo on Cuba, except for medical supplies and certain food products

 

Oct 25 -- Cuba nationalized all remaining U.S. businesses

 

Oct 31 -- Another cyclone hit the coast of the Gulf of Bengal, killing 10,000 people

 

Nov 4 -- The final movie for Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable called “The Misfits” premiered

 

Nov 8 -- Massachusetts Senator John F. Kennedy was elected the 35th president on the USA

 

Nov 12 -- Spy satellite Discoverer XVII was launched from Vandenberg Air Force Base in California, one of many secret spy satellites launched in the Corona Program series of photoreconnaissance space imaging (in a world of secrets, paranoia will destroy ya)

 

Nov 12 -- A coup against South Vietnam president Ngo Dinh Diem failed (On orders and assurances from President Kennedy, Diem was killed in a coup on November 1, 1963 -- in a world of secrets, paranoia will destroy ya)

 

Nov 13 -- Sammy Davis Jr. married Swedish actress May Britt

 

Nov 16 -- Actor Clark Gable died

 

Nov 25 -- John F. Kennedy Jr. son of President Kennedy, was born in New York City

 

Dec 27 -- France exploded another atom bomb in the Sahara Desert (it went boom and made a big hole)

 

Dec 31 -- The Dallas Cowboys played their first season of professional football, with zero wins

 

Dec 31 -- The top 3 songs of 1960 were: 1) Will You Love Me Tomorrow -- Shirelles 2) Georgia on my Mind -- Ray Charles 3) Only the Lonely -- Roy Orbison

 

All in all, 1960 was a fruitful year. I actually had a girlfriend for almost 2 weeks and managed to survive another year of high school. It wasn’t perfect, but that’s the expectation of life on the Planet of Wounded Souls.

___________

 

Quote for the Day -- “It’s all make believe, isn’t it?” Marilyn Monroe

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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where the color of socks usually depends on the amount of time between washings. His blogs appear on several websites, including www.myspace.com/bret1111

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I originally wrote this piece in 2002. Soon there will be a major movie released about this incident.

GETTING OVER THE HILL

 

In the movie THE ELECTRIC HORSEMAN, Robert Redford is a former rodeo champion, now past his prime, selling his soul to a large corporation as a spokesman for their brand of breakfast cereal. During a moment of disillusionment with his life, aided by a hefty dose of Jack Daniels, he rides off with a prized horse owned by the corporation in order to save it from being turned into a commercial puppet like himself.

 

Newspaper reporter Jane Fonda tracks down Redford and the stolen horse, joining them in their journey across remote areas of Utah. Redford plans to release the horse into the wild, freeing it from exploitation. Fonda tags along hoping to get a good news story out of it.

 

One day, as they’re walking up a formidable hill, Fonda begs Redford to slow down and take a rest.

 

Instead of slowing down, Redford marches on while telling Fonda a story from his old rodeo days about a cowboy who broke a rib and punctured his lung during a bull ride yet continued competing in his events.

 

“And he still rode the rankest mare there,” Redford said, proudly.

 

Fonda isn’t exactly impressed, wondering why men have to display so much machismo. 

 

“It gets you over the hill,” Redford exclaims as he continues trudging up the incline.

 

Every once in a while we are faced with the option to gut it out or fall by the wayside. Sometimes it isn’t even an option.

 

In November of 2002, 27-year-old Aron Ralston quit his engineering job to pursue his goal of becoming the first person to climb solo, in winter, all 55 of Colorado’s peaks that exceed 14,000 feet in elevation.

 

Four months later, he survived an avalanche but remained undeterred.

 

In April of 2003, having told no one of his plans, Ralston was hiking alone in Blue John Canyon in a remote area of Utah when his right arm became pinned by an 800-pound boulder.

 

Falling by the wayside was not an option.

 

Ralston was trapped for five days and out of water before he finally took the only action he could to save himself. He broke each of the two bones in his forearm, applied a tourniquet and cut off his right arm at the point of the break with a pocketknife. Then he rigged an anchor, fixed a rope and rappelled 60 feet to the canyon floor.

 

After hiking for about five miles, covered with blood, Ralston encountered two tourists and was transported to safety.

 

It later took a crew of 13, using jacks and a hoist, to move the boulder and recover Ralston’s arm, which was subsequently delivered to the local mortuary. Because of the crude field surgery, doctors were forced to amputate the arm even closer the elbow.

 

While this particular tragedy was gruesome, Ralston brought much of it on himself. A prudent wilderness hiker would notify someone of their destination and expected time of return. Plus, hiking with a companion is essential in emergencies. With today’s electronics, carrying a cell phone or walkie-talkie would also be wise. And of course, avoid positioning body parts under anything heavier than a Buick.

 

If unwilling to take these basic precautions, find another hobby such as checkers or basket weaving.

 

Even though I try to live a simple life, I too must gut it out on occasion. For example, I’ll often get out of bed even if I’m still tired.

 

A person is the sum of their actions. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and rise to the occasion.

 

It gets you over the hill.

 

___________

 

Quote for the Day – "You are an Eternal Soul, surrounded by Infinity. Virtue is nothing more than the proper use of energy." Bret

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On February 3, 1959, a small airplane crashed in a field near Clear Lake, Iowa. The pilot and his passengers, Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and J.P. "The Big Bopper" Richardson, all perished.

 

 It was the day the music died.

 

"I can't remember if I cried...

When I read about his widowed bride...

But something touched me deep inside...

The day the music died."

(from American Pie by Don McLean)

 

A group of rock 'n roll bands, known as the "The Winter Dance Party," was in the middle of a three-week tour covering 24 cities in Wisconsin, Minnesota and Iowa. On February 2, they had performed at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake and were scheduled to perform at the Armory in Moorhead, Minnesota, the following evening. 

 

Buddy Holly had grown tired of riding the bus and decided to charter a flight to Moorhead. There was room for three passengers in the single engine plane -- his two band mates, Tommy Allsup and Waylon Jennings.

 

Richardson had the flu and asked Waylon Jennings for his seat on the plane. Jennings agreed to do it. When Holly found out about it, he told Jennings, "Well, I hope your bus freezes up." Jennings replied, "Well, I hope your plane crashes."

 

Though the remarks were made in jest, Jennings was haunted by the incident for years.

 

Richie Valens then asked Allsup for his seat. They flipped a coin. Valens won the seat and sealed his fate.

 

The plane went down a mere five miles from the airport. It struck the ground at 170 mph. The three main attractions of The Winter Dance Party were thrown from the wreckage and on their way to rock 'n roll heaven.

 

"And as the flames climbed high into the night...

To light the sacrificial rite...

I saw Satan laughing with delight...

The day the music died."

(from American Pie by Don McLean)

 

But the show must go on.

 

Dion & The Belmonts (the fourth headliner) and Frankie Sardo finished the entire tour, but Bobby Vee & The Shadows left the troupe after the Moorhead performance. Fabian, Frankie Avalon and Jimmy Clanton were brought in as the new headliners. Ronnie Smith took over as vocalist for The Crickets.  

 

Buddy Holly (1936-1959), singer and songwriter, was considered to be one of the pioneers of rock 'n roll. He's ranked #13 on Rolling Stone Magazine's list of "100 Greatest Artists of All Time."

 

Ritchie Valens (1941-1959) was a Mexican-American (and part Yaqui Indian) from Los Angeles. His music career had just begun, lasting only eight months. His songs "La Bomba" and "Donna" were huge hits.

 

J.P. Richardson (1930-1959) was a disc jockey, known as "The Big Bopper." He had a rich voice and an exuberant personality. He recorded a song called "Chantilly Lace" and soon became a one-hit wonder.

 

Having given up his seat to Richardson, Waylon Jennings (1937-2002) went on to become a successful country singer. He, along with Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash, started the "outlaw country" movement.

 

Buddy Holly's revolver was found by a farmer plowing the field in April of 1959. An autopsy performed on the pilot and the Coroner's examination of the four bodies failed to find a bullet wound.

 

On March 7, 2007, a forensic examination of the remains of the Big Bopper, requested by his son, put certain rumors of foul play to rest.

 

A decade after the accident, Don McLean wrote and recorded the song AMERICAN PIE – the classic music tribute to Buddy Holly.

 

The song is also a parable on how music changed in the 1960s with the loss of pure rock and the coming of non-danceable pop music (The Beatles, etc.) and folk music (Bob Dylan, etc.). 

 

American Pie was a stunning achievement in songwriting; layered with meaning, innuendo, and a fascinating historical perspective of a musical era. The rocking 1950s had ended and the helter skelter of the 1960s rolled in.

 

Various interpretations of the lyrics of American Pie can be found on the Internet, from the obvious meanings all the way down to what Billy Joe McAllister threw off the Tallahatchie Bridge.

 

"And the three men I admire most...

The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost...

They caught the last train for the coast...

The day the music died."

(from American Pie by Don McLean)

 

Of course, the music didn't really die in the winter of 1959 -- it died when they invented Rap and Hip-Hop.

 

On January 28, 2009, the 50th anniversary of the Winter Dance Party will hold a tribute concert in the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa, where Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens played their final concert. Sirius XM Radio host Cousin Brucie will be the emcee. Some of the entertainers will include Los Lobos, Graham Nash, Los Lonely Boys, Wanda Jackson, Tommy Allsup, Bobby Vee, Joe Ely and others.

 

One of my old high school classmates named Greg, along with the ghost of Waylon Jennings, will be in attendance. But I couldn't make it this year. I have an appointment to have my legs waxed.

 

Bye, Bye Miss American Pie.

 

___________

 

Quote for the Day – "Yesterday is just a memory, tomorrow is never what it's supposed to be." Bob Dylan

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