Hello friends,

Many of you don't know me well, and I thought it may be time to answer some unasked questions. Why do I say it that way? Because of my abscence, I lost a whole page of friends.. That's okay with me. I realize that lots of people probably think I'm unsociable. Sometimes I am. Sometimes, personal pain or confusion keeps me from socializing. 

You see, I live with Lupus and Fibromyalgia, Depression and more. It's no secret. I just choose to not let these things define who I am, however, it seems they have after all. 

I am not "depressed". Depression means much more than that. It is a chemical imbalance of the brain. Symptoms come unbidden leaving me without the desire to do the things that I enjoy. I am very happy with my life. Isn't that odd? It's a mystery for sure. I've learned how to deal with that and I am not suicidal as I once was in my youth. 

I don't "have Lupus. It has ME. It's frustrating! I want to do those things I've always loved to do but cannot. Pain, confusion and illness  are my constant companion. Luckily I live with a wonderful, one of a kind man that loves and supports me. 

Before I met Ken, I believed that my life was over. I figured I'd live out my days in solitude and quiet days. I was resigned to that and accepted it. Now it's different. I will live out my days with a wonderful person whom I love, and happily loves me too. Unfortunately, love does not stop diseases. 

I had computer issues for over a week. I couldn't type into the address bar at all after I restored my computer. I was unable to restore to a previous date and had to restore to factory settings. what a mess! When I did that, I had the same problems when I got my laptop in the first place. Whenever you press certain keys, it brings up windows. Changing settings left me nowhere, so I had to track down the answers (not easy with the darn keyboard issue) to resolve it. 

During this time, I've been having physical therapy. The therapist must not get the fact that a person with my issues have different problems. Muscles don't just burn while doing the stretching excercising, then continue to burn. My last visit about did me in. I was in the beginning stages of a bad flare that would last over two weeks. During that time, every muscle in my body was inflamed and my back burned like it was on fire. (degenerative disks). 

The point of all of this is that I punked out. I lived in that solitary place in my head that tried to keep pain at bay and my mouth in check so that I didn't complain every second. 

So I come to boomer and find that "friends" have left my page. I can say that I understand. I really do. This is just to say that there are times that I will go missing and not communicate with anyone. There is no cure for the things that I experience. I stopped apologizing years ago, since this is not my choice. How can I apologize for my life? 

Thanks to those that understand. Love ya'll 

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I used to write poetry every day. It flowed and never stopped, it seemed. Over the past few years though, before I left myspace, I would begin to write and only draw a blank. This is the first poem I've written in some time. It may not be the best, but I'm celebrating that words finally stuck the page! LOL  I hope you all have an awesome day, :) 

January 

There were no colors 

in the sunrise today,

only a lighten-ing 

of the morning sky.

A haze of grey 

lay backdrop to 

skeletal trees, and 

a hawk,

smudged the canvas,

sailing  

above them;

a peal of his passing 

signalling life.

Winter paused, 

reflecting 

summer's past

and the certainty of spring; 

giving a nod to the east and

an adieu to night,

promising 

rain, sombre thoughts,and

solitude

on a grey January day 

at dawn.

Tags: poetry, writing, Cheryl_Darr, January

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A Little Halloween History

Happy Halloween friends!

This little history is not a complete history of the "holiday" but just a fun outline of the basic humble beginnings. It is celebrated by other names and rituals in many parts of the world, like Mexico's Day of the Dead. (that is a story all in itself!) The holiday that we know as Halloween today, bares little resemblance to it's origins.

Halloween's origins go back to Ancient times with the Celtic festival known as of samhain. This was the Celt's version of a New Years Eve celebration honoring the end of summer and harvest time, and marking a period of cold, darkness, and death of winter. Remember they were an agriculture based society and in winter many, both people and animals, would indeed die. Celts believed that this end of the year time marked the time in which the barrier between the living and the dead became thin. On October 31st the spirits would come back from the dead and create havoc by damaging the crops with frost and causing a multitude of other troubles. Their ceremonies and rituals were to honour the dead were to protect thier villages and towns from any curses until Spring when livestock and new crops came about once more bringing continued life to thier villages and thier towns.

The Roman Church soon enacted a holiday to detour the worship of spirits and superstitions, and so the Church proclaimed November 1st as All Saint's Day to honor the saints and martyrs of the church. While many of the traditions such as the making of jack 'o' lanterns, bobbing for apples and giving out treats, do come from the old European holiday known as samhain, (pronounced SOW-en).

The origins of Halloween are very different from what we celebrate today.

The history of the Jack-o’-lantern goes like this: In Ireland, there is a myth of a man who deceived everyone he knew, family, friends, and one day, even the Devil himself. He was known as "Stingy Jack." According to the story, Jack tricked the Devil to climb up an apple tree in order to fetch him some fruit. Once the Devil was in the tree, Jack placed crosses around the trunk of the tree, keeping the Devil trapped. When Jack realized that his plan had worked, he made the Devil promise that he would not take his soul when he died. Once the Devil did, Jack removed the crosses and let the Devil free. Shortly after, Stingy Jack passed away. As he reached the gates of Heaven, he was greeted by Saint Peter and was denied entrance due to him being too cruel and mean. Keeping his promise, the Devil could not take him to Hell. With nowhere to go, Jack was now left to wander forever in the darkness between Heaven and Hell. After pleading for help, the Devil tossed him an ember from the flames of Hell to light his path. Jack placed the ember in a hollowed out turnip, his favorite food which he always carried around with him. The Irish thus referred to his soul that roamed the earth as "Jack of the Lantern," and then simply, "Jack O’ Lantern." In Europe, keeping with the tradition, people began to make their own jack-o’-lanterns by carving out faces into turnips and potatoes and placing them in windows or doorways to ward off Stingy Jack and other evil spirits. Immigrants from Europe brought the tradition with them to our U.S.A., and soon found Pumpkins, an abundant fruit native to America, to make the perfect jack-o’-lantern.

The tradition of "Trick or Treating" originated in medieval Europe. At first, people would go from house to house on November 2nd (All Souls' Day) to ask for food and they would pray for the dead. This practice was called "souling". In many cities the rich would toss out small cakes to the poor. They would accept the food and then also pray for the souls of the dead in return. Now it is done for candies and treats by children on Oct.31st.

The tradition of "Bobbing-for-apples" began during the annual samhain celebrations of ancient times to the times of medieval Europe, even into the early 18th century. Young unmarried people tried to bite into an apple floating in water or hanging from a string. The first person to bite into the apple would be the next one to marry.

To give more of an understanding to the reader of these old pagan holidays, one must understand the meaning of some of the old language and the culture of those times. The term pagan, while having come to mean rudely and wrongly something like devil worshipper by the Christian standards; in truth, the word pagan merely meant "country people" or "country dweller" in the language of those times. It was used as a sort of derogatory term by the ruling class in reference to all of those they ruled over meaning something like country bumpkin. With the rise of Christianity, and the Holy Mother Catholic church all tried their best to stop this "heathen" festival but as one can see they were rather unsuccessful in their attempts to change it into only their terms. So .... the Church took the three days [of once samhain] and re-named them: "All Hallows Eve or All Hallows, All Saints Day, and All Soul's Day." These are celebrated in mainstream Christianity , respectively on October 31, November 1, and November 2.

Later in time the name of this Ocrtober 31st holiday was changed to and became known as "Halloween".

Here in the U.S., we have our own history soup of all of the immigants who came here. Superstitions too, come into play on Halloween, like those of black cats, and witches. Ah but that's another story and another blog! 

Tags: Writing, History, Halloween

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Walk with Me 

Come walk awhile with me

through the leafy boughs of leaves;

here in the forest glen,

where the rest of our life begins. 

Hold me close by your side,

where forever  I will  abide;

as the leaves fall asunder,

we leave behind the heat of summer. 

Ochre leaves mixed with gold,

 your hand in mine enfold; 

 wondering at autumn's splendor

and our perfect life together. 

Come walk awhile with me,

the best of life is yet to be. 

@cdarr 

Tags: poetry, writing, Cheryl_Darr, forest path

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Source: Uploaded by user via Cheryl on Pinterest

Along the Forest Path 

Enchanted,

 I wandered, slowly, 

experiencing 

 every nuance of the forest. 

Birdsong 

 joined me in my journey

 down paths untrodden.

I was alone,  

 yet fulfilled,

as if God’s presence 

 traveled with me.

Feathery fronds

curled

 open on the forest floor,

delicately seeking light.

Lichen 

 clung to trees as though 

 they were part of them, 

symbiotic. 

Beauty and peace 

 abounded,

I was part of it all, 

breathing in 

 green air and earth.

I was at peace, 

 all was good in the world

 after all.  

@C.Darr 

Tags: poetry, writing, Cheryl_Darr, forest path

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*WARNING* silly stuff here! 

Serial Killers in My Cereal 

The English language is a beast. Isn't it? We're lost in this ever growing language while other languages are pretty well set. There are so many rules, so many similarities, so many little nuances to remember. I had a little fun with some of them. Feel free to share your own with me. It's fun! 

Serial Killers in my Cereal 

I accept allusions to these illusions,

except for the serial killers in my cereal. 

The affect sent me reeling away;

heading to the pantry to effect change. 

It was such an illicit image floating in milk,

I knew that I must elicit help immediately. 

My first call was to the state capital,

to the very capitol building itself! 

They informed me of their lack of capital there. 

They're hopeless there with their own issues. 

They suggested that I emigrate but 

I have no intention of immigrating. 

I have principles even if they lack principal. 

I knew then that I needed a better plan than that. 

It was in a climactic moment of our conversation

that I noticed the climatic changes outside. 

I was simply too far into this to quit now,

After all, there were two serial killers in my cereal! 

But then, I had a rational thought …

And said "Self, eat your damn cereal, serial killers and all, 

You're losing perspective and need new prospects.

Then go lay down your weary head, lie down, 

And leave the lie where you laid it" 

I just have to leave the fast lane, 

And leaf through my book about leaves,

To find what lies ahead lain upon the horizon. 

I set out on this journey as I sat at the table,

Just having cereal when I noticed the serial killers. 

Now I can't remember to whom it concerns or who cares! 

© Cheryl Darr 2008 

Tags: writing, humor, language

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Light and Darkness Fight

Twilight brings an age old battle,

one between darkness and light.

The battle rages day after day

continually between  day and  night.

Flail and pound, the fight gives sway

To a lingering betwixt  the two;

Bruising the skies in the heavens,

Draining  it of the fairest  blue.

Middle world creatures watch,

Taking sides and placing bets;

Though the ebb and flow of tides

Knows neither has been winner  yet.

Some endeavors are futile, you see;

some battles can never be won.

as long as there is day and night,

There will be the moon and sun.

Tags: poetry, writing, Cheryl_Darr

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Written for my mother who fought illness for the last years of life 

Forever in My Heart

I've been thinking a lot about you lately,

as the days get cooler

and autumn leaves begin to fall.

Smiles and laughter fill my memories,

of a time when illness belonged to others.

We had it all

Didn't we?

Your words over the years

still linger in my heart

forever embedded there.

Had I known that I'd never have

this kind of love again,

I'd have cherished it more

in the moment.

For now all I can do is remember

and try to erase those

ending memories

when you struggled for life.

But it was part of you

Part of a tapestry of YOU.

I miss your love

Your laugh.

You. 

Tags: poetry, writing, Cheryl_Darr

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Autumn Fantasy

Summer, in it's final throes of ecstasy,
sighs in afterglow, content to sleep.
Mums in a glorious array of harvest tones
bloom in russets, coppers and buttery hues;
love children of summer's torrid past.

Mother earth, having birthed summer's joy,

begins to rest, ready to dream of tomorrow.

Manifesting warmth in those golden hued dreams;

she wears a blanket adorned in claret colored sleep;

and an embellished gown of scarlet, sienna and henna.

Straw colored fields lay in slumbered repose,

as one hazy day gives way to another dusky dawn.

Leaves fall to the ground, blanketing the earth in umber,

as golden rod's flaxen beauty dances along roadways.

Queen Anne's Lace bows her regal head to summer's pass.

Time seems to stand still, remembering sun filled days,

and green fields growing with abundance under blue skies;

now only the last hesitant vegetation burst upon the scene.

Pumpkins and squash in orange and chestnut rejoice, and

apples, those fall debutants, are crowned as harvest queen.

Tags: Poetry, Fall, Autumn

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