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“Guns Up”

A story about Trout Falls......


It is probably not a good sign of how life is going when you are selling your guns out the back seat of your car. Next to his dog, or maybe his wife, a yoopers guns are very important and surely a man thing. He cleans them and he has racks to hang them in his truck and wooden cabinets to display them at home. Yoopers love showing off their guns as much as they do their grandkids. He puts oil on them to keep a shine and occasionally they will be fired.
Tommy Halama was a nice enough guy who worked real hard at not working and lived to complain. Most people called him the ‘tree planter’ because it was his only feeble attempt at making a living. It was spring and lots of trees were being planted but the tree planter wasn't and that's why he was selling his guns.
A crowd had gathered in the parking lot across from the Fire Dept. garage/Post Office/bank/ township offices which constituted 90% of downtown Trout Falls. A half dozen guys were milling around sniffing a good deal on a rifle and admiring Tommy's 78 Pontiac Bonneville station wagon which might be the last one still on the road. Inside it was a mess with every fast food he’d eaten in 6 months and obviously cared more about his guns then his car. He pulled out a .32 Winchester level action and knocked off the fries wrapper that was hung on the barrel, grinned, and complained how much it would hurt to let this beauty go,

"Would break my heart, it surely would",

I doubt it because he took $165 in cash from Rayner Joki, his pension check had just come in, who handed over the cash and Tommy stuck it inside his pocket and pulled out an M-1 Mauser, no fries with it this time but with an original green faded shoulder strap that caught the attention of the vets. At one time or another, every pre 70's soldier had fired this dependable but heavy workhouse of a weapon.

"Got this from an old Marine down in Georgia a couple years back"

and he showed them the safety and Tommy said,

"Safety's on.......”

Thank God he had it pointed up when he accidentally pulled the trigger and the bullet shot straight over Rayners head who would never complain ever again about being short. If he'd been a basketball player, he might have had a good jump shot, but he would be dead. But, he wasn't but looked at Tommy like he wanted him dead.
Inside the Fire dept. garage Chief Bell was taking a nap at his desk in the back office. He should have heard the distinct pop of a Mauser round going off but he didn't. It had been a rough night last night and he was a bit hung over. The bullet wasn't sleeping as it tore through the fire department garage and ricochets off the steel bean on the ceiling and deflected downward and tore through the wood of his desk with a resounding thud between his coffee cup and the phone.

"What the ....."

Chief Bell jumped up and wondered why there was smoke coming from a hole in his desk. Sawdust was falling like snow from the ceiling and he knew something was wrong but couldn't figure out what. He looked under the desk and saw a bullet lying on the floor and got down on all fours to grab it…

Outside, Tommy was asking the gang whether they should call 911 and three grabbed their cells and a couple took off for the Fire dept. garage which was right there. Tommy stared at the Mauser and complained,
"Dang safety is broke.”
Tommy was trying to do damage control but that was useless. He thought for a minute of jumping in the Bonneville and taking off but reconsidered and light up a Parliament, set the rifle on the back seat and watched the others head to the garage knowing nothing good was going to come out of this.
Rayner and the gang got to the garage and saw Chief Bell under his desk lying on the floor and Rayner screamed,
"OH MY GOD!!!! Tommy done shot Chief Bell",
and everyone was stunned and knew they would miss Chief Bell. Rayner even took off his hat in reverence and about then Chief Bell started squirming, but crack showing and someone yelled,
"He's Alive, he's alive",
and Chief Bell yelled,
"Someone help me, I'm stuck under the desk",
and five guys pulled on arms and legs and dang near split the chief in half but they got him out and there was no wishbone but they were glad to see the Chief was alive. Chief Bell turned to Rayner and ralphed all over him and the other guys were gagging like they were trying to get down Liver…

When ‘shots fired’ came across the scanner curious Trout Fallsers couldn’t get their fast enough and every police car in three counties showed up and Bert the cop didn't have to go far to take this call. He was in the Cup having lunch and thought the gunshot was a car backfiring and I was sure Bert hadn’t passed Police 101. There was a lot of finger pointing in Tommy's direction and Chief Bell was showing off the bullet and Bert was trying to get him to give it up because it was evidence. Tommy had slipped away in the melee and left the Bonneville and the guns. Someone heard he had gone to Alaska. It was just another day of life and luckily living in Trout Falls…

It's -3 this morning and all is quiet on the northern front. I'm out of bird seed and corn for my deer and they will probably be detoxing and forced to find feed the conventional way. Burner stopped by in the morning for coffee and cribbage and was telling me that I should buy a couple bales of hay for the deer instead of corn. I agreed when he said it was better for the deer anyway. Were going to get some tommorrow from a farmer nearby. You may think I am a seasoned outdoorsman but next to Burner I come up far short.....

Burner is another reason life is so good as our friendship has grown since I came back home even though I've known him 20 years. And then my son Jeff called me last night to tell me about Karen and that news was not good. Jeff is keeping Kris and I up to date on her condition as I have one eye on a red eye to Florida if I have to. I hope not and I'm praying hard for her. I hope to get some more news today.....

Every time I think that I'm getting some sort of chedule or routine going it ends up totally different from my plans. I'm not complaining but trying to find my stride as I plan for a month off with a trip to the Detroit area on Feb. 5. I will bring my laptop but not sure where I will get a hook up so there is a good chance I won't be blogging much in Feb. I will try to fit a couple in depending on my access to a computer....

The funny part of leaving the Penthouse Cabin is that the reason I am going is for another VA appt. and I have hardly mentioned it because I thought only sick people go to the Dr. or hospital. Leukemia is a relative term and in my past. I believe I will never see it return and until it does I won't worry about it at all. I gave that up somewhere this last summer with 10 months without even a cold. Life is so good as I gauge time with before coming home and after coming home. BPC or APC...

I hope you have a great today my friend. Think positive and do good deeds. Be humble and be kind and lean on your faith and take chances when necessary. Don't end up sitting on a swing when you are 70 and think to yourself. Why didn't I do that???? Why didn't I reach out for more???

smiles, Easy

It's the first Monday Monday, California Dreaming and Mama Cass keeps getting fat kind of day with the passing of the lead singer of the Mamma's and Pappa's who died this last weekend. I barely know his name but will never forget that sweet voice and their harmony...

My ex wife, I hate that term, Karen, is in the hospital for the second time in a week with compications from Chron's disease and I sure could use some prayers for her and my sons Jeff and Kris who worry so much about her. Her faith is strong and I learned from her.....

A neighbor has invited me over for lunch today and I could fit a 12 pack of Penthouse Cabin's inside his incredible log cabin. I've known him for years and it's my first invite. This should be fun. Hmmmmm......

A singer sings no more and others are sick or others are planning lunch. What's on your plate this morning? 2 over easy for me. Would you think any less? Iowa has more snow then here and Ft. Worth had snow and Georgia ice and it's the Bears and the Colts for the Super Bowl....

Just another Monday Monday.....

smiles....Easy

Country singer Vince Gill put out a 4 cd, 43 song collection set of his music and it should be called 'clunkers my attic'. He was on NPR this morning and it reminded me of Dave in town who said my new book was real good except for a couple stories near the and. I told Dave that whenever I buy a CD there usually is only 3-4 songs I really like and the rest are also rans and that's ok. Don't get me wrong, I like Vince Gill's music but I would never ever put out everything I write because it some of my writing is pure dribble. Even if I was famous I wouldn't do it for an couple more bucks and I guess that is the difference between a book and a CD. I'm trying to find a similarity here with music and writing as art and I realize there isn't much similarity at all.....

What we called 'in country' back during Nam is now called 'boots on the ground'....

I'm listening to alot of classical music lately and it's probably because I heard 'Peer Gynt' and it blew me away. I've always wondered who or what Peer Gynt was and now I know it is incredible and breath taking. Wow....

Is acting an art? I am troubled with Hollywood but I love Broadway. Nicholas Cage was saying that he was teaching his son to be an actor and the kid wasn't even a teenager yet. I didn't think acting can be taught and we only have to watch Dolly Parton act to know that is true. Singing is her game. Acting is an art I admit and I have lots of respect for a guy like Emilio Estavez who at least used a different nameknowing that 'Sheen' would get him a job anywhere in Hollywood. I am not sure where nepotism is more popular. Politics or Hollywood......

I am totally 100% against a married man or woman acting in a sex scene in a movie. That is a mortal sin as much as the sex scene itself is. But, I agree there is a place for sexual material in a book that is not outright porn. I'm still trying to figure out this dichotomy because one is in the mind and the other is in the flesh....

Thanks alot Henry Ford for owning the Detroit Lions and ruining football for all us Michiganders. I can't even watch football anymore because he runs the team like he runs the car company and both are on life support....

Ex Rep. Bob Nay from Ohio was sent to prison for 30 months for accepting favors for influence in Congress and was fined $6000 and will get a year off his sentence if he finishes alcohol rehab. $6000? Year off? He used to tip that much when he was golfing in Scotland. I have to stay away from politics because I get so angry I want to explode. Serious.......I pray on this....

I was on a bus and met the sweetest lady and we hit it off immediately and talked away 4 hours until she said goodbye and I never saw her again but we both have a nice friend memory that I'm sure she enjoyed as much as me. It's odd when that happens but it so sweet to remember on a cold morning......

I've seen anger in public that truly scares me. A frustrated mother swearing at a 3 year old for being a kid. Too bad the mother isn't being a mom......

A single sentence can have a profound impact. I have had a gambling addiction for 10 years..... Harness racing got me bad. I don't gamble anymore because I respect money more now and I found my spirit. Does that make sense? I say this because I have another addiction now. It's full tilt poker. I call myself AuthorMan57 and if that isn't vain I'll go all in on you....

Playing poker for free has that same buzzzz a gambler gets. The thrill. I can't get over the fact that if I had internet poker then I could have saved ALOT of money and alot more grief and stupidity. Now, I have to figure out a way to not get addicted to the site. That seesaw is going back and forth right now and I feel guilty playing it. Other people play pool or a zillion other games and wonder why I still feel guilty....

I think it is because I fear addictions like others fear the dark. It has taken me to the devil and back and I'm thankful for having the strength to finally keep it to free money and a cheap thrill....

-8 this morning and that will wake you up going outside and freezing in your tracks. I smile and think there is no nasty germs or pandemics that could survive in this cold. And I like it like that.....

Happy Saturday. do nothing and do it well. I used to....smiles......

The hardest part about snowshoes is putting them on. Leather straps, buckles, bending over and by the time I got them on correctly I was sweating and it was comical as I hobbled around the Penthouse Cabin remembering what I had forgotten bundled up like that mountain man Jeremiah Johnson. I finally made it out to the snow covered lawn, sat down and slid down the hill and I think I said, 'wheeeee'.....

I took off and the snowshoes are cumbersome but after a bit I figured out the motion and balance and felt a burning in my thighs which is good. I walk alot every day and think I can out walk anyone around here and that's probably why I walk alone. The wind was brisk and sent up spirals of snow tornado's and I was glad the wind was behind me but I know I would face it on the way home. The snow is about 6 inches deep and light and fluffy and the quiet and the solitude is invigorating.....

I decided to set a path near shore and turned left to track a big circle which I did and it was slow and methodical going. I carry a tall walking stick in case I go through the spring fed weak ice but I have no fear because I augured holes last weekend over a foot deep of ice and Bull had buizzed around on his snow machine......

It took me about an hour, I was in no hurry, to get to the other side of the lake and I took a break on the frozen dock of my cousin's log cabin and I looked out to the Island from the other side that I never see like the far side of the moon. I sipped starbucks out of my thermos and had an idea. This can be good or bad and I decided good and got up and walked to the island and sat at the base of the hill and took off my snowshoes to explore the island....

It is straight up about 20 feet to get inland and I think I slid back down a couple of times before I made it to the top thinking why do I do these things. I'm not really sure but I sensed an adventure. I left the snowshoes at the bottom of the hill with little fear of someone stealing them. Ha....

It was dang cold and I decided to see if I could a fire and sit down for awhile and take it all in. I gathered red, dead pine boughs for tinder and gathered other larger branches to keep it going and found myself a nice spot sitting on a downed tree and the wind behind me. It is easy to burn wood in the winter as long as the wood is not touching the snow and ground. I cleaned a spot for the fire pit with my boot and covered it with fresh boughs. lit the tinder that took off and in a few minutes I had a nice ripper fire going and it was warm and felt good and I always like that smell of burning pine and the crackle of the wood burning. I'm not sure why but I sat there feeling pretty good knowing that most people must think I'm crazy. It aint me, babe.....

Sitting there I had a thought to spend a night out here and document it with a camera and my journal. I stayed out in the woods this last summer and I loved it and it seemed to me doing it in the winter would be a huge rush and enormous satisfaction. Besides, it was only a quarter mile from my cabin and what could go wrong? I'm planning this outing next week......

I finally got back home late afternoon knowing I'd gotten my exercise in and had fun doing it and I was real tired but content. I look at winter as a plus and use it to my advantage fully aware of it's danger. I do not take chances, I am premeditated in my actions and have no control over what could happen but it won't stop me from enjoying the winter wonderland of Upper Michigan....

Happy Friday my friends and a great weekend too. I know I will....smiles....Gene

I wrangled some snowshoes out of Burner that he says were only worn once and that was when he bought them. He has an aversion to getting cold and I got his dandy Iverson's that will be a nice diversion doing laps around Island Lake. I couldn't wait to get home and give them a test drive but it will have to wait until this afternoon because I was late getting home last night from town...

Dicky Oja, a good bud, died in his sleep few days ago and he was a fellow Marine and neighbor down the road. I stood in the receiving line to offer my condolences and when it was my turn I said, "Dick was a nice guy who gave me rides when others wouldn't while showing me pictures of his grandkids and he always hade smile on his facee. Simper Fi buddy! I will miss you.....

In death we celebrate life. A young lad came up to me later and asked if I was me and it was an easy one for me to say, yaw. He said I was a dead ringer for Jeff, my oldest son and I said I'd rather be a live ringer as he told me Jeff had called him and that's the celebration of life I'm talking about. Jeff and I don't talk much and it's because he doesn't call me much. We are so much alike and part of our problem and I still believe he can out me in a Hemingway heartbeat but he is battling some demons but the last few months he has a new job, a sponsor roommate and life is looking good through clear thoughts. I've thought that "Trout Falls Chronicles" would be a good way for us to get back talking and I was elated to hear Jeff had called anybody. I'm sitting on the phone waiting for his opinion on book.......

I have a big doe and a yearling in the yard now and they are regulars at the PC corn feed Country Club. They are both healthy, dah, and their fur is frizzled and full staying warm and the small one has a black slash on its side probably from a fence or a tree limb or even an errant slash of a coyote. They are only about 30 feet outside my window and they can hear my music and when James Blunt hits a high note their ears perk up and they'll back off as skittish as a chipmunk on a log. Their faces are full of snow as they pick the kernels out of the 6 inch snow. They eat fast and I can see the food go down their throats and their eys dart around always aware of every sound. 2 black squirrels are up the tree behind them and afraid to come down and they sit on branches watching. And as quick as they came in they are walking out the driveway like they live here. And I guess that's true, they do.....

I sent a copy of my book to an actor who played in a movie about Upper Michigan called "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" (check it out) which starred Jeff Daniels of Dumb and Dumber. It shows what yoopers are like but went over the top a bit. The sister of the actor, ranger bob, read the book in Florida and loves it and sending a copy to ranger bob and Jeff Daniels. WOW.....

Do I dare dream? Sure. Why Not. Is it realistic? Sure. Will someone offer to buy the rights to my book? Why not.....Dream dream dream......

Happy Thursday my friends. smiles...Easy

No, I didn't find a hubcap in the pike. And I didn't sell it on EBay but it could happen. I watched that Jaws movie just like you did. There are no basketball size snowflakes but they could be but probably not. I know I have been in snow storms where I thought the flakes were the size of hubcaps though....

When I worked at Fords in my younger days I got off work just in time to see David Letterman and one of my favorite bits was the skit about embellishing a story. A guest from the audience would say absurd boasts like I do and everyone would laugh. I have a tendency to embellish like dogs have a tendency to chase rabbits. Really, really big rabbits that sit on their haunches and look in the window at me when I don't leave any iceberg lettuce out for him....

Guilty as charged but it did make you laugh I hope. All I'm trying to do is make readers think sometimes and laugh other times. I remember fondly reading my Free Press in the morning and chuckling and it was a good way to start my day. Like I said, mile early and often and remember when you read my blogs that I may be embellishing just a tad. HeHe (tongue in cheek). You do not have the liberty to see what I do here and I'm just helping you understand how big the flakes looked through my eyes. And the Pike was 38' and grace sure didn't save him. Thanks for all the nice comments on 'ice fishing' and here's another weather forecast for you. It's -7 here this morning with a wind chill of -20 and I swear the snowman I made asked me to come inside because it's so cold....

There I go again....smiles, Gene

I discovered ice fishing this weekend and I am hooked. So were 8 northern Pike on Sat. and 4 more yesterday. The largest was 38" and as fat as Donald Trump's wallet. Bull cooked them up and we ate like 4 kings and one queen. She was with bull...

He deep fried them with a special seasoning from Wisconsin and Bull's buds were a riot while showing me how to filet them and the key is one of those electric knives. I even got to see what the Pike ate before we ate him and soon that Pike would be in another belly. I guess they call that the food chain, eh? By the way, inside his belly were perch, sunfish and a hub cap from a 54 Buick. We checked on the internet. Worth $7 bucks on EBay and we got four offers before noon........

It all started Saturday morning at daybreak when a snowmobile blew by the Penthouse Cabin and that doesn't happen often but everything happening to me these days hasn't happened much. I flew out the door in my industrial strength long Johns (white), my trusty boots and my GO BLUE wool cap. Took me a half an hour to find my boots. They are camo.....

Bull screamed over the whine of his 73 Artic Cat that looks more like a refrigerator laid on its side with a seat and an Engine on top. That's where keep the beer from freezing. He is going to leave it here after his next trip back on Feb 2 and that will be my link to getting out of here as that walk to the mailbox can be a long one if I have to get out. Once again, Bulls bark is a facade for a bud who cares and is helping me with a decent favor. Did I tell you that a foot of snow is expected by tomorrow??

Looking out my window this morning the snow is coming down. I guess we have about 4 inches so far and this ought to be an Upper Michigan winter day for sure. Republic schools are closed for the day.Tufts of snow cover the basket feeders and nary a bird today. The front yard is covered with fresh smoothly layered snow and not a deer has been in either. Not one track to be seen. My critters are hunkering down I suspect, the squirrels in a downed decayed log and the deer under the cover of a huge Jack Pine. We all handle the snow in our own way. I'm in my Cabin and my cover is the roof and the warmth inside listening to serene classical music on my station.......

I won't get into the technicalities of ice fishing. I'll save that for when Bull brings back all the gear and some minnows for me to give it a tug when I'm all alone. I gave him a signed book and a fair exchange is no robbery. That ice fishing 101will be my bait for you to read. I can sit here and talk to you and look out the window to my tip ups. Don't even need Binoc's. As long as they are on the right. How cool is that?? It's like having your cake and eating it too as I look at the chocolate cake on the table. Honest. Pillsbury chocolate cream frosting. Then I can spin my chair, lick the frosting out from my mustache, lean back and watch ice fishing on some obscure cable station and look out the window and ice fish for real and that's ice fishing stereo, Pard. Surround minnow buckets. Us up here, yoopers, pasty eaters, are just a bit different and I should say I speak for myself. Hmmmm.....

The sun continues to shine and I hope it does for you my friend. If we smile early and often Monday can be a breeze off Lake Superior with the freshness of hope and faith. I'm real busy and it feels real good and barely keeping up. Chasing those dreams......

smiles, Gene

Josh was happily married and here he was standing outside his own apartment building about to ring the buzzer of an apartment next to him who happened to be another woman. He felt foolish but had to know more about her and had to see her. It had all started 2 months before when some firewall was down and he was picking up her 'my station' music on his computer and her selections were better then his own list and so similar it was down right strange and intriguing to who this woman could be.....

I call this a new kind of awkward but I won't take credit for it. I heard this story on PBS this morning and I'm just putting a little fiction to it because it is a point well taken and part of our internet world today. Internet dating and meeting people has changed with the advent of the dating sites, chatting, clubs and groups. As an example, I knew an 18 year old kid who was a computer whiz but socially inept when it came to women or life for that matter and he said to me, "I'm engaged". I said I didn't know he was dating and he said he had met a lady from Scotland and they were going to get married when he flew there on the 4th of July. I knew he didn't have a job or money and bummed smokes from me for his Mother and I asked the obvious. "You haven't met her but your engaged?" He said yes like it was normal to have such silly aspirations. The life of an 18 year old is vastly different then when we were 18....

Josh had no intention of meeting this neighbor and told his wife so and she laughed. She trusted him but late one night when she was sleeping and he was reading on the couch with only sound the ticking of the grandfathers clock that stood tall against the wall and he heard 'the lady in red', His all time favorite love song and it was coming behind the wall behind the clock and he sat in a daze like he always did hearing that song but this time thinking of another woman and he felt awkward and got up and ran to the computer and turned it on and sure enough, it was coming from her station and now he knew she lived on the other side of the wall. He lost his breath even thinking of this but it an inborn feeling of excitement or wonder and curiosity that killed more then cats......

I figured there're four ways to meet woman before the internet and in no particular order they are, in church, in a food store, the Laundromat or a bar. Since I can't drive to any of those I decided I would wait for my lady in red to walk up my driveway with the best of intentions and then I might consider it. I once said I would move to Borneo for the right woman but I'm backing off that boast now. I am so dug in here it would be real tough to leave but... I am happy in the woods and it's a misconception to think I'm alone with all I have here. My animals are enough alone but I can't be without people either and I'm gaining fast on that median ground. My friends are piling up as ffast as my new one's here on this site. We are the same people we were before the internet and we face the problems but in a different cyberspace way. Eh?........

The power of knowing the unknown is strong and hard to explain and Josh sat down and wrote her an email and even told his wife about it and she still trusted him but now some doubt must have came to her mind. A crack in his wisdom led to a crack in her trust but still he wrote the unknown lady an email telling her that he was no stalker or deviant and explained about her choice of music and he sent it but got no reply and 2 months went by and he had given up on his quest until his wife said, 'I heard the music. It's not coming from over there, she pointed, it''s coming from over there and she pointed to the other wall. Then she said, I checked, the same name on the email is on her buzzer outside. Maybe she was testing him with this new information. He pondered this for a week and it got the best of him and here he was outside and he hit her buzzer and a woman's voice said, 'hello', in that static speaker they all have....

Josh committed himself when he pushed that buzzer. Was he sinning? Was he being faithful to his wife? Was he doing anything wrong at all? I'm not sure but am sure it is a new kind of awkward......

She said 'c'mon up' and he did and walked by his own apartment to get to her door and she had the door open and walked out to meet him as he came up on her. Her arms were crossed in a defensive position with an easy out back in her door stance and Josh could see a bit of fear on her face and she was quite pretty and he now wished he hadn't done what he had and regretted it and told her again he was no stalker or pervert but just was intrigued and wanted to say hi. It was as lame hearing it said as he had been saying it. His arms were crossed now like a high noon stand off.....

"What are you looking for? You told me you have a wife.' she asked......

He thought to himself, good question and told her,

"Good Question".

Josh told her he shouldleave and he wouldn't bother her anymore and she said, 'ok' and he turned and it was hard waddling away with his tail between his legs but he did and he also knew he had made a big mistake....

He went to the flower shop and bought his wife a dozen red roses and she cried when he handed them to her and he hugged her like he hadn't in years. Maybe the same amount of years since the computer changed life and living. It will never be thesame and dating habits and relationships all need new name I thedictiionary. E Harmony is already one of them...

The Bible says a sin is when you act on a sinful thought. To think is human but to err is a sin. It's all a new kind of awkward punching keys into a screen to a lady in Scotland to who you think is really the love of your life but only a conveinence of hiding in cyber space looking for love for all the right reasons and finding the bad reasons to that can pull us in and suck the life out of us if we let it. We all can learn alot from the computer and to use it wisely like we do here on my boomer place. There is much to be gained by meeting the right person online but all the stars have to be lined up and sound wisdom must prevail until two people can get to know each other the old fadshioned way of meeting face to face and taking a walk or having lunch in a meadow under an Oak tree...

I like the old way myself......

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