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Urgent message for all!

 

 

 

There's a new virus that will re-write your
hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble
any disks that are even close to your computer.
It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness
setting so all your ice cream melts. It will
demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards.

It will give your ex-girl or boyfriend your new
phone number. It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank.
It will drink all your wine and leave its socks out
on the coffee table when there's company coming over.

Fool's Virus will make you fall in love with a penguin.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both
your eyebrows while you're sleeping.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter
if she is dead; such is the power of Fool's Virus.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so
you can't find it. It will kick your dog.
It will leave nasty messages on your boss's voice
mail in your voice!

Fool's Virus will give you Dutch Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up. It will leave bacon
cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
grade-schoolers with your new snow blower.

Fool's Virus will prompt your mother to call on Friday
and Saturday nights for two months.
It will place your wallet and keys on an obscure shelf
in the basement. It will emulate your face and stare
into the neighbor's bathroom window.

Fool's Virus will make your bloomers shrink two sizes
and make you gain fifteen pounds over night.

PLEASE listen to me! 
The "Fool's Virus" DOES NOT exist!

This is a joke in honor of April's Fool Day.

But just to be safe, better run that virus scanner now!

 

Funny Animals Pictures!

10 new pictures of funny animals!

 

Tags: CRITTERS

Mavis & I are having the Great Grandchildren round (two girls with Loud piecing screams attached) to Hunt for Easter Eggs   I'm in charge of the hiding of the Eggs (Tesco family brand ) on the condition that I will NOT hide them on the roof,  up trees or in the weed killer cabinet in the potting shed . This is because I get to eat what they don't find . I do hope  my Son and Family will also attending this Annual gathering and my two Grandchildren will take control of the Screaming Banshees leaving me in the garage drinking beer and eating Easter Eggs that were to damaged (opps butter fingers !!! ) .to hide   Wish me luck

Luv

Mick

Hi Mr & Mrs G, will you please take a minute to share your experience?

You Purchased: Energizer AA 2000mah Rechargeable Batteries Pack of 4 (New)
Seller note: UK MAINLAND DELIVERY 4-7 DAYS FROM DISPATCH - VAT FREE SHOPPING FROM iCell From iCell Media
Estimated delivery date: 9 March 2013 - 30 March 2013
Please select a rating for the seller based on these questions Item arrived by 30 March 2013? Item as described by the seller? Prompt and courteous service? (If you contacted the seller) 5 (Excellent) 4 (Good) 3 (Fair) 2 (Poor) 1 (Awful) Does the product meet your expectations?
Helpful Links

Working OK Thanks

Tags: BATTERY

 

Easter Cooking

Before you cook that ham:

A lady was preparing her Easter ham for the oven
while her husband watched. She carefully placed 
it in a pan. She then took a knife and sliced the
top off of it. Her husband curious about this
asked her, "Honey why do you slice the top off
of the ham?"  She replied, "Because that's
the way my mother did it."

Later when the family arrived for dinner
the husband asked his mother-in-law why she
sliced the top off of the ham before she cooked it.

She replied, "so it would fit in the pan with the lid on."

 

          

Baked Ham With Honey-Apricot Glaze

10-14 pound spiral-sliced, fully-cooked smoked ham
1 cup honey
1 6 ounce orange juice concentrate, thawed
1/3 cup soy sauce
1/3 cup apricot jam
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves 


Directions
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Place ham on rack in shallow
roasting pan. Stir together remaining ingredients in medium bowl;
set aside. Bake ham for 30 minutes; pour glaze over ham and 
continue to bake until ham is heated through, about a 
total of 2 1/2 hours. (About 15-18 minutes per pound.)

 

      

Deviled Eggs

12 large eggs 
4 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1/4 teaspoon salt 
pinch of pepper 

Preparation
Place eggs in a saucepan large enough to hold them 
all in one layer. Cover with water. Bring to boil, 
then lower heat to a simmer and cook for 9 minutes. 
Let cool completely.
Peel eggs; cut each in half lengthwise. 
Remove yolks and place in a bowl. Mash yolks with 
a fork until smooth. Add mayonnaise, mustard, 
salt and pepper and mix until blended.
Transfer yolk mixture to a piping bag fitted 
with a plain or star tip, or to a zip lock bag. 
If using zip lock bag, seal bag and snip off one corner. 
Pipe yolk mixture into empty egg whites.

      

Mac & Cheese

8 ounces uncooked elbow macaroni 
2 cups shredded sharp Cheddar cheese 
(you can use velveeta or any other cheese)
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese 
3 cups milk 
1/4 cup butter 
2 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 
cracker or bread crumbs

Directions
Cook macaroni according to the package directions. Drain. 
In a saucepan, melt butter or margarine over medium heat. 
Stir in enough flour to make a roux. Add milk to roux slowly, 
stirring constantly. Stir in cheeses, and cook over low heat 
until cheese is melted and the sauce is a little thick. 
Put macaroni in large casserole dish, and pour sauce over 
macaroni. Stir well. Sprinkle with cracker or bread crumbs.

Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 30 minutes. Serve. 

      

Lemon Pie

1 cup white sugar 
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 
3 tablespoons cornstarch 
1/4 teaspoon salt 
1 1/2 cups water 
2 lemons, juiced and zested 
2 tablespoons butter 
4 egg yolks, beaten 
1 (9 inch) pie crust, baked 
4 egg whites 6 tablespoons white sugar

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). 
To Make Lemon Filling: In a medium saucepan, whisk together 
1 cup sugar, flour, cornstarch, and salt. Stir in water, 
lemon juice and lemon zest. Cook over medium-high heat, 
stirring frequently, until mixture comes to a boil. Stir in butter. 
Place egg yolks in a small bowl and gradually whisk 
in 1/2 cup of hot sugar mixture. Whisk egg yolk mixture back 
into remaining sugar mixture. Bring to a boil and continue to cook 
while stirring constantly until thick. Remove from heat. 
Pour filling into baked pastry shell. 

To Make Meringue: 
In a large glass or metal bowl, whip egg whites until foamy. 
Add sugar gradually, and continue to whip until stiff peaks form. 
Spread meringue over pie, sealing the edges at the crust. 
Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes, or until meringue is golden brown.

LuvMick

Tags: COOK

Poor Easter Bunny

A man was blissfully driving along the highway,
when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road.
He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the
rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit.
The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,
pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what
had become of the Bunny carrying the basket.
Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead.
The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on
the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car
and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny
and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me.
What should I do?"

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do.
She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can.
She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the
entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.

Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up,
picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the
two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away
the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and
hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned,
waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!

The man was astonished. He said to the woman,
"What in heaven's name is in your spray can?
What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could
read the label. It said: "Hair spray.
Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

luv

mick

Hi .....Yes I have managed to get back on here after a lot off time wasted because I got blocked for some unknown reason .

So now I'm looking for folk who know me by my user names ...Taxpayingoap on Macmillian...asbomick1 on Multiply (Now Closed)....asbomick on Redmans and on here for one day before I was blocked. So I'm now on here under 'mickg' so if you want to send me a friends request please you will be most welcome....Im even using the monkey with the big smile as my profile image.

Luv Mick

Tags: asbo

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