Good Saturday morning to you! Here it’s raining. Things should brighten up later on. Sort of like life, the weather has its good and bad days and I guess they’re all needed.
I need to apologize for being missing in action for a while. My only explanation is that my head has been somewhere else for this time, trying to sort out life and its struggles and conflicts. Sometimes we think we are ok being who we are and someone comes and challenges that. I don’t think they have that right but it happens. And sometimes we or at least I question myself and who I am. When, in the end, I can come out saying, “I’m ok, I have worthâ€Â, etc., etc. it’s like the sun coming out again. I’m ready to try to face daily life and not isolate myself so selfishly.
I have not checked into Boomer for days. I know I have had comments sent and messages written to me and I will be reading all of those now. I also need to catch up on blogs and bulletins and find out how everyone ELSE is doing. I especially hope Deb is ok; when I left she’d gone into the hospital. Love you, Deb! And some of you have been walking the Quit path with me. I want to know how that’s going as well. Jess? Deb? Marianne? Easy Gene? Did I forget anyone? We’ll catch up and again I’m sorry to not have been here to give my support. Hope the Lord filled in for me.
One good thing is, though I have been eating so much more than I need to when the urge to smoke has hit me, I’m done with the medication and have not smoked even one cigarette since March 7th. This overeating started before I stopped taking the Chantix so it is not the absence of the medication that has caused me to eat. The overeating and subsequent weight gain have been part of my wanting to hide away from the world. I don’t like myself much when I don’t feel attractive and that’s now. I know with God’s help I became the person I want to be in the smoking department. I also know with His help I can conquer the weight and be who I want to be from here on in the weight department as well.
I love you all. I’ve missed each of you who have been my daily companions here on Boomer. And I hope all are well. Hi, Tom!
"But there are certainly very real challenges. Women's bodies change as they get olderâ€â€no matter how much yoga or liposuction they can afford. A slower metabolism makes staying slim a struggle. That's why the vast majority of American women over 45 are either overweight or obese. In order to enjoy sex, you have to feel that you're sexy. That's not easy if your self-esteem is tied to unrealistic images of eternal youth."
I don't think the title fits the article very well but here it is (click on the link to read the entire article):
In case you don't know (I had to look it up to be sure), the definition of "cougar" in this context is: "A woman aged 40 years or older who preys on younger men."
I left a comment on the article (jlmaly). Anyone care to share their thoughts? Don't be shy. This is a natural, beautiful and God-given way to express love, especially within a loving committed relationship.
I've been sort of scarce around here the past week, reason being Easy Gene was in town..and here visiting my dog, Pippen..and yes, he made sure to emphasize, me, too. LOL We had a fantastic time doing a bit of shopping, doing fun things for a day and just talking, remembering and catching up.
As he noted in his blog yesterday now that he's back in the U.P., he took care of first things first...the WALK (a word Pippen knows well and both love!). Here they are as they take off for the park. If you read Gene's blog he mentioned how Pippen's feet fairly leave the ground at the chance for a walk. Well, take a look:
He wasn’t kidding. That dog on a turn has maybe two feet on the sidewalk max!
The highlight of Gene’s visit for me was our trip down to the lake to Navy Pier on Tuesday.
The weather was gorgeous, sunny with a cool breeze. Once there, we started by looking around out front of the pier at a fountain and some sculptures and mosaics.
Each of the levels on this mosaic had engraved on the vertical side (but too dark to read in the photo unfortunately) the estimated progressive population increase in Chicago over the years: 1673: 50 1779: 100 1848: 20,000 1870: 300,000 1998: over 2,000,000
Next Easy Gene had an interview scheduled with none other than one of our Chicago area natives, Bob Newhart:
And I got a shot of the side of a Chicago city bus with an interesting advertisement:
Well, here I am over two months smoke-free. For some reason, the last couple of weeks have been more difficult in the "urge to smoke" department which has caused me to snack a bit more than I had been, even though I'm still on the Chantix, but that's ok. One thing at a time.
I am SO excited and thankful that at least three of my friends have also decided to be smoke-free! My prayers are with them as well as any encouragement I can offer.
Some years ago I read a piece on how cigarettes are (or seem to be) our best friend. I couldn't find the exact same piece but below I've posted one, a blog I did find that is very similar, including a link to another blog I found called "A Goodbye Letter To My Cigarettes". Both I can relate to...and they are SO true. I hope maybe "someone" who is "mourning" her "best friend" can take some strength of resolve from them.
My Cigarette, My Friend
How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you? Not only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him. He has a peculiar odor that sticks to you wherever you go. Others think both of you stink.
He controls you totally. When he says jump, you jump. Sometimes in the middle of a blizzard or storm, he wants you to come to the store and pick him up. You would give your spouse hell if he or she did that to you all the time, but you can't argue with your friend. Sometimes, when you are out at a movie or play, he says he wants you to go stand in the lobby with him and miss important scenes. Since he calls all the shots in your life, you go.
Your friend doesn't like your choice of clothing either. Instead of politely telling you that you have lousy taste, he burns little holes in these items so you will want to throw them out. Sometimes, he tires of the furniture and gets rid of it too. Occasionally, he gets really nasty and decides the whole house must go.
He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you. In fact, he will cost you thousands of dollars over your lifetime. And you can count on one thing; he will never pay you a penny in return.
Often at picnics you watch others playing vigorous activities and having lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't believe in physical activity. In his opinion, you are too old to have that kind of fun. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with other people when you can't breathe, do you?
Your friend does not believe in being healthy. He is really repulsed by the thought of you living a long and productive life. So every chance he gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the store. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you prevent these diseases.
But colds and flu are just his form of child's play. He especially likes diseases that slowly cripple you - like emphysema. He considers this disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your other friends, family, career goals, activities - everything. You will just sit home and caress him, telling him what a great friend he is while you desperately gasp for air.
But eventually your friend tires of you. He decides he no longer wishes to have your company. Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he decides to kill you. He has a wonderful arsenal of weapons behind him. In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly exposed you to cancer causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or later.
Well, this is the story of your "friend," your cigarette. No real friend would do all this to you. Cigarettes are the worst possible enemies you ever had. They are expensive, addictive, socially unacceptable, and deadly. Consider all this and - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
Good afternoon! I hope where you are is as gorgeous a day as we are having here, sunny and hitting 70! I had no excuse today so I got out and mowed the lawn, front and back.
While outside, with my new cordless phone hanging from the neck of my t-shirt (LOL) I received a call from Gene. He had just been to the doctor to have the port removed. No infection found. A good thing but also somewhat frustrating, seeing as how he went all that way because they thought his fever was from some infection that was harbored in the port. Anyway, he's upbeat about the trip, was glad for the opportunity to see his dad and he arrived on Mothers Day so that was an added plus. Here's a photo of Gene and his brother who picked him up at the bridge between Upper and Lower Michigan.
Lookin' good!
And he said he was glad for the chance to stop here and see me, too...and Pippen, I'm sure. He asked that I let everyone know what's going on with him. He should be here Saturday or Sunday and then be on his way up north sometime during the week.
I think I posted this last Mothers Day, but it says so much and says it so well, I wanted to share it again..to encourage and to celebrate each of us who are mothers and to remind us all of the awesome place our mothers or "mothers" (and for some that might even have been dad) have had and, for some of us, still do in our lives.
The greatest thing my mother shared with me was her faith
that became mine.
Thank you, Mama.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!
This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up puke laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here".
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.
This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.
This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.
And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football , hockey or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars so that when their kids asked, 'Did you see me, Mom?' they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.
This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.
This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.
For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again "Just one more time."
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.
This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls 'Mom?' in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.
For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.
For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.
For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.
What makes a good Mother anyway?
Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?
Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?
The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?
Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?
The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...
And mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for you all. For all of us.
Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray.
Please pass along to all the Moms in your life. "Home is what catches you when you fall. l and we all fall."
Remember the movie Big with Tom Hanks? The piano used in that movie is now at FAO Schwartz NYC. Here is a piece by Bach played by a couple of the store's employees.
Whether it's quitting smoking (I'm close to two months now smoke-free!!!) or beating the odds while in remission from cancer (and you all know to whom I'm referring with that one ), whatever your dream may be, read on...
Realizing Your Dream
~ Saralee Perel ~
"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." Christopher Reeve
Recently, for the first time in 5 years I simply went out back, put my cane down, and started walking. I made it 42 yards.
Today I walked 5 miles.
My medical team had said this would be impossible. My brain could no longer send the signals for walking because those nerves in my spinal cord had been destroyed. Though certainly unintentional, my doctors did take something very important away from me: hope.
A while back, a psychologist pal of mine urged me to try to help myself. I was angry. I said, "They're four of Boston's leading neurologists. They all said I'd never get any better."
"They could have all been wrong."
"They said there's nothing I can do! No rehabilitation. No physical therapy. I'm not putting any effort into trying to walk and then be miserable when I fail."
"Trying is never failure."
I'd get steaming mad at people like her. What did they know? They came out in droves. I heard various things I should try: a soy-based diet, massage, Yoga, acupuncture, positive thinking. All of these well-meaning non-experts believed that traditional medical doctors do not know everything about human potential.
However, there was a common denominator in my friends' advice. And that was the word, "Try."
What made me finally try? The answer is simpler than I'd have ever imagined. That day I tried walking on my own, I had simply said to myself, "Why not?"
When I walk I have a Frankenstein- style gait. I get embarrassed so I explain. I met a gal who said, "Stop excusing yourself. Walk proud!" She's just one of the many who've taught me that if I open my heart to acceptance, the world is filled with support teams.
I've also resolved to open my obstinate mind and really listen to others, experts or not. This not only fosters my own sometimes-frail belief in my abilities; it fosters faith in miracles.
One morning my husband, Bob, said there was a huge present for me in our driveway. He had researched "bicycles for disabled people." It was a 300 pound cycle for two. The seats were side by side. He could pedal while I sat by him and enjoyed the outdoors again.
Um... did I mention it came assembled with a set of pedals for me too?
Now, hundreds of miles later, after exhaustive hours of pedaling along beautiful bike trails, I only wish that we owned stock in Ben-Gay.
Bob needs a tube a day to keep up with me.
Last week he repeated, "There's a huge present in our driveway." He led me outside. "Voila!" he said. "Oh no," I moaned. Bob dubbed it "The One-Woman Dynamo Power Bike."
"Sweetheart? You know I can't bike on my own."
He laughed sweetly. "I know. And you can't walk either. Then why does the pedometer I bought you have 74 miles on it?"
And so, I made a now often repeated declaration that I am praying others will say to themselves as well. "Yes. I can."
Think I love my bike? You bet. Think I love Bob? Of course. Think I love life again after cloistering myself in a self imposed no-can-do closet? Goodness! You have to ask?
How do we find hope when hope seems impossible? Do we simply believe in our hearts, our minds and our very souls that we can beat the odds?
Yes.
Christopher Reeve said, "When we have hope, we discover powers within ourselves we may have never known. Once we choose hope, everything is possible."
His immutable words still ring in my heart and I so hope they will in everyone else's:"And you don't have to be a 'Superman' to do it."
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