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A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."

And for plenty of good reasons, since:


1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.


* Forty-three (43) said yes,
* Six (6) were undecided,
* Only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.

The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?"

He feels the conclusion is obvious.

Can't eat beef ... mad cow.
Can't eat chicken ... bird flu
Can't eat eggs ... Salmonella
Can't eat pork ... fears that bird flu will infect piggies
Can't eat fish ... heavy metals in the
waters has poisoned their meat
Can't eat fruits and veggies...
insecticides and herbicides
Hmmmmmmmmm.....
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I believe that leaves Chocolate!

You’ll be amazed.

Here are some of the uses:

1) Protects silver from tarnishing.
2) Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4) Gives floors that ‘just-waxed’ sheen without making it slippery.
5) Keeps flies off cows.
6) Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7) Removes lipstick stains.
8) Loosens stubborn zippers.
9) Untangles jewellery chains.
10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12) Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13) Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16) Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes
18) It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor!
19)Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn’t seem to harm the finish and you won’t have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
20) Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
21) Gives a children’s play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
22) Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
23) Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
24) Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
25) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
26) Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
27) Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
28) Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
29) Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles or easy handling.
30) Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
31) Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
32) Removes splattered grease on stove.
33) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
34) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
35) Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
36) Removes all traces of duct tape.
37) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
38) Florida’s favourite use is: “cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.”
39) The favourite use in the state of New York WD-40 protects the Statue of Libertyfrom the elements
40) WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it’s a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants thatare made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
41) Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.

42) WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.

43) Also, if you’ve discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!

44) If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.

P. S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

Want a bigger list http://www.wd40.com.au/List/list.html

More info direct from the WD-40 company http://www.wd40.com.au/about_us.html

A farmer in North Dakota got pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding.

The trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer feel uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The farmer said, "Having some problem with them there circle flies, are ya?"

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of circle flies."

So the farmer says, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute, he stops and says, "Are you trying to call me a horse's ass?"

The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a
horse's ass."

The trooper says, "Well that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."

Do you know how tough it is being a man...? If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy. If you work too hard there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're pervert. If you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious.

If she has a head ache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it Too often, you're oversexed. if you don't, there must be someone else.

NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN! ........ THEY WANT TO!!

The U.S. Constitution Test
This version of the Test is currently in use by the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service.

Questions are followed with Answers:

1. What are the colors of our flag?
2. How many stars are there on our flag?
3. What color are the stars on our flag?
4. What do the stars on the flag mean?
5. How many stripes are there on the flag?
6. What color are the stripes?
7. What do the stripes on the flag mean?
8. How many states are there in the Union?
9. Why do we celebrate the Fourth of July?
10. What is the date of Independence day?
11. Independence from whom?
12. What country did we fight during the Revolutionary War?
13. Who was the first President?
14. Who is president today?
15. Who is vice president today?
16. Who elects the president of the United States?
17. Who becomes our president if the president should die?
18. For how long do we elect the president?
19. What is the Constitution?
20. Can the Constitution be changed?
21. What do we call a change to the Constitution?
22. How many changes or amendments are there to the Constitution?
23. How many branches are there in our government?
24. What are the three branches of our government?
25. What is the legislative branch of our government?
26. Who makes federal laws?
27. What is Congress?
28. What are the duties of Congress?
29. Who elects Congress?
30. How many senators are there in Congress?
31. Can you name the senators from your state?
32. For how long do we elect each senator?
33. How many voting members are in the House of Representatives? 34. For how long do we elect the representatives?
35. What is the Executive branch of our government?
36. What is the Judiciary branch of our government?
37. What are the duties of the Supreme Court?
38. What is the supreme law of the United States?
39. What is the Bill of Rights?
40. What is the capital of your state?
41. Who is the governor of your state?
42. Who becomes president if both the president and the vice president die?
43. Who is chief justice of the Supreme Court?
44. Can you name the 13 original states?
45. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death"?
46. Which countries were our allies during World War II?
47. What is the 49th state added to our Union?
48. How many full terms can a president serve?
49. Who was Martin Luther King Jr.?
50. Who is the head of your local government?
51. According to the Constitution, a person must meet certain requirements in order to be eligible to become president. Name one.
52. Why are there 100 senators in the U.S. Senate?
53. Who nominates judges of the Supreme Court?
54. How many Supreme Court justices are there?
55. Why did the Pilgrims come to America?
56. What is the head executive of a state government called?
57. What is the head executive of a city government called?
58. What holiday was celebrated for the first time by the American colonists?
59. Who was the main writer of the Declaration of Independence?
60. When was the Declaration of Independence adopted?
61. What is the basic belief of the Declaration of Independence?
62. What is our national anthem?
63. Who wrote "The Star-Spangled Banner?"
64. Where does freedom of speech come from?
65. What is the minimum voting age?
66. Who signs bills into law? 67. What is the highest court in the United States?
68. Who was president during the Civil War?
69. What did the Emancipation Proclamation do?
70. What special group advises the president?
71. Which president is called the "Father of Our Country"?
72. What is the 50th state of the Union?
73. Who helped the Pilgrims in America?
74. What is the name of the ship that brought the Pilgrims to America?
75. What were the 13 original states of the United States called?
76. Name three rights or freedoms guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.
77. Who has the power to declare war?
78. Name one amendment that guarantees or addresses voting rights.
79. Which president freed the slaves?
80. In what year was the Constitution written?
81. What are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution called?
82. Name one purpose of the United Nations.
83. Where does Congress meet?
84. Whose rights are guaranteed by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights?
85. What is the introduction to the Constitution called?
86. Name one benefit of being a citizen of the United States.
87. What is the most important right granted to U.S. citizens?
88. What is the United States Capitol?
89. What is the White House?
90. Where is the White House located?
91. What is the president's official home?
92. Name one right guaranteed by the First amendment.
93. Who is the Commander in Chief of the U.S. Army and Navy?
94. Which president was the first commander in chief of the U.S. Army and Navy?
95. In what month do we vote for president?
96. In what month is the new president inaugurated?
97. How many times may a senator be re-elected?
98. How many times may a congressman be re-elected?
99. What are the two major political parties in the United States today?
100. How many states are there?

ask for answers hehehe

I got this in an email from a very very good friend and thought I would pass it on to you all to read.



The Hospital Window

A great note for all to read it will take just 37 seconds to read this. It will change your thinking.





Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.




Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.



The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.



The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.



As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.



One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.



Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.



Days and weeks passed.


One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.



As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.


Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.


He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.


It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window


The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.


She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."


Epilogue:


There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.


Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.


If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.


"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."



The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.


Do not keep this letter.

Just forward it to your friends to whom you wish blessings.


Myspace Comments

As I was checking my 401(k) account and thinking about retirement, I saw an article about nursing and retirement homes are.
Then it hit me. No nursing home for me!
Here is my plan: I'm checking into the Holiday Inn.
With the average cost for a nursing home reaching $188 per day, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for breakfast, lunch, dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service. It also will leave enough for laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies. Plus, I'll get a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, and washer and dryer. I'll also get free toothpaste, razors, shampoo and soap. And I'll be treated like a customer, not a patient.
Five dollars worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling.
There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick me up if I fake a decent limp. Ride the church bus free on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
Meanwhile, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. On the other hand, Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to visit you, and probably check in for a mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?
When I discussed my plan with friends, they came up with even more benefits that Holiday Inn provides retirees. Most standard rooms have coffee makers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV -- all you need to enjoy a cozy afternoon.
After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children (free local phone calls), then take a stroll to the lounge or restaurant where you meet new and exotic people every day.
Many Holiday Inns even feature live entertainment on the weekends. Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free program. You can invite your grandkids over after school to have a free dinner with you. Just tell them not to bring more than three friends.
Pick a Holiday Inn where they allow pets, and your best friend can keep you company as well. If you want to travel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar surroundings, you'll always feel at home because wherever you go, the rooms all look the same. And if you're getting a little absent-minded in your old days, you never have to worry about not finding your room -- your electronic key fits only one door and the helpful bellman or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.
Being natural skeptics, we called a Holiday Inn to check out the feasibility of my plan. I'm happy to report that they were positively giddy at the idea of us checking in for a year or more. They even offered to negotiate the rate. We could have easily knocked them down to $40 a night!
So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin.
Just forward all your emails to the Holiday Inn!

Big Bad Blondes!


A slight little guy is having a drink in a bar. A lot of drinks. A very dark bar.

He leans over to the big woman next to him and says, "Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?"

The big woman replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm blonde, and six feet tall, 210 lb. and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder. The blonde woman sitting next to me is 6'2" and 220; she's an ex-professional wrestler. Next to her is a blonde who's 6'5", weighs 250 lb., and she's a professional kickboxer. We're three big, bad blondes! Now, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"

The guy blinks and swallows, thinks about it a second and says, "Heck no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!"

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