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Why do people do the things they do? I ask myself that question at least a dozen times a day- and that's on a good day. How can good, smart, capable people do such things? What perplexes me even more is why these same people continue to repeat their own self sabotaging behavior year after year. Don't they realize what their doing? Don't they want to stop? Many that I speak with know that something is wrong. A popular song writer recently put it this way, "I"m a train wreck waiting to happen". Could this be because so many people have lost the concept of wisdom? In our fast paced, multitasked, sound paced culture, wisdom is thought of as old-fashioned, boring, and irrelevant. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. It is wisdom that makes life endurable. It also makes life meaningful, impactful, and deeply satisfying. Without wisdom we are poised for self- destruction. Perhaps if anything if we need to step-back, take a deep breath and realize some of us need to put the use of the wisdom that God has given to us as the answer to issues going on in our life right now.

One of the words I hear from cliants as a Life Coach is the word "WORRY". It's used in the context of, "I/We worry about this, or we worry about that....and on and on. How much of your time is spend in what I refer to as "TOXIC WORRY?" In my opinion, any amount of time is to much time. Toxic worry will wear you down quickly physically, emotionally, relationally etc Is there an option other than worry? Yes, first..... cast all of your burdens (cares) upon God, for He cares about every area of your life (1 Peter 5:7). Second, Worry does not work! The option is to choose to be CONCERNED. When you are concerned, you own the issue/ problem. The issue/ problem does not own you. When you are concerned you put together a healthy plan to resolve whatever it is once and for all. If you can't do this seek help from one who can help you find a healthy resolution( Pastor, friend, etc). Points to remember Always be concerned.......if not for any other reason Worry does not work.

Recently a person on here ask me what I thought about aging( or getting older). My reply as a life coach was this. Aging is apart of life, not apart from life. I look at aging from a healthy perspective. First: I see and understand that I am the most important person in my life besides God, God is first...with that I try to make healthy choices concerning my life. That means, healthy thoughts, healthy food ( including Taco Bell's ;-) ), heathy relationships. I try to not engage in anything toxic...do I always succeed? No, but I try. One thing I believe is getting the right amount of sleep. Every day I learn about aging healthy. I have learnt a long time ago, "Do what works!" If you can't make it work.....perhaps it's time to get rid of it.

                                 "Can't Take My Eyes Off You"                        

Anyone remember this
Franki Vali & the "Four Seasons"

My grandmother always reminded me,"Jeffrey if you can't say anything nice about someone then don't say anything at all! " I have found that has worked for me....I do what works! :-)

Every once in a while someone will ask me the question, why do we experience grief? The answer I share with them is that we have had a life experience of love with another. The love has left an imprint on our heart. Whenever we connect with the loss of that person we experience grief physical, relational, emotional of that person in our heart. I see grief as being a journey....of which we travel the road of reflection emotionally, physically, relationally, and spiritually. How we experience that grief depends on different connections: How we were related to the person, the age of the person, how long we have known the person, the teaching of our spiritual beliefs. The list could go on, but I think you get the idea. The culture that we live in seems to be somewhat "death denying". I believe everyone goes through the grief process no matter who you are or what your statis is in life. Believe it or not not everyone moves through the grief process in a healthy way. My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced or is going through the grief process now. You are in my prayers. Feel free to connect with me as I am a grief coach. 

The late Leo Busgalia former professor U.C.L.A. made a statement in a talk over the Publc Television that I will always remember...."If you cannot help someone, please do nothing to hurt them." Such a powerful statement for everyone in the world we are apart of.

I recently watched the movie, "The Matrix". The setting for the movie The Matrix is a time in the future where most humans have shut their minds to what's really happening in the world. When the character Neo realizes this, he faces a choice that will change his life dramatically. He can take a blue pill, forget everything that's happened, and return to his comfortable, but false life. Or he can take a red pill, wake up, and face a tough realty. . . but also have a chance to save all humanity. Maybe our choices aren't as big as Neo's, but they are significant. We all must choose what to do with our time, energy, ability, influence, and resources. These choices aren't always easy or obvious, but they are fundamental to everything. The question for all of us is, "what color of pill have we taken or what color of pill would we choose if that choice is before us today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or sometime in the future. "Jeff" (sounder)

"A true friend is the one who holds your hand and touches your heart" -Unknown

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