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I am posting this blog to help those who are having a difficult time surviving the holidays due to a divorce or divorce in process. (To my daughter Lisa and a friend. My heart and prayers are with you and all concerned) Jeff S.- Dad,Friend,Life Coach/Grief Coach SURVING THE HOLIDAYS WHILE SURVIVING DIVORCEAs hard as it is, it's in times of distress and heartache that you absolutely should celebrate the holidays. The fact is the holidays endure through everything. They are part of the solid ground that transcends what's happening on the surface of our lives. They reassure us that there are some things that do not change and demand celebration no matter what. Holidays are about peace and sharing and gratitude and love. During tragedy, or divorce, or heartache we have to reach down and find those core things at a deeper level, a more meaningful level. Here is a short list of tips to help you move from grief to celebration. The following suggestions will help you and your family move forward through the holidays. Your divorce is not the end of your life. It's not the end of your family. It's not the end of your happiness. It's not the end of your holidays. Things will change, but you will definitely get back to joy, and you just might find that the true meaning of the holidays will shine brighter than ever. 1. Be patient. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your family. You will grieve your losses, but remember what you are really celebrating. You can use this time to find new meaning, a deeper connection, and richer joys that you might have missed if this divorce had not happened. Accept the tears. Take one holiday at a time. The true meaning of the holidays will never disappear, and this experience, as hard as it is, can bring a fresh understanding of that truth. 2. Simplify. A recent poll said 4 out of 5 people want the holidays to be simpler. A midlife divorce will make you look at your priorities. You usually have moved to a smaller place; you have less money; and you have less time if you have gone back to work. You have an opportunity to do what most people want to do. You have been forced to do something that may be a positive turning point in your family's life. Take a look at your priorities and simplify. 3. Be Flexible. Keep the traditions you want. Try some new things. Finding creative ways to share the season can enhance the real meaning of the holidays. Who says Thanksgiving has to be celebrated on the official Thanksgiving Day? If you don't have the children on Christmas, have a tree-decorating party earlier in December. Make that a new tradition. An added benefit might be to make the week of Christmas less hectic. 4. Focus on others. The holidays are really about sharing and being thankful. Spread the joy around. Expand your list of people to welcome into your celebrations. There are all kinds of people that YOU could encourage during the holidays. The holidays aren't about you, anyway. They are about what God has done for all of us. They are about having a generous heart and a gracious spirit. Cultivate those characteristics and be grateful for every good thing you have. 5. Remember, it's not about stuff! Make a budget. Don't overspend. Don't try to buy love or loyalty. In a recent survey, many Americans are still paying off some part of holiday extravagance until November of the following year. Change that "more stuff" mind set. It will be good for you and good for your children, too. Give gifts of time and attention. - Don't postpone joy. There are many, many things to celebrate. It's okay to cry when you need to, but the rest of the family (fair or not) will often take their cue from you. YOU spend some time figuring out real tangible, unchangeable things you can celebrate. Focus on those things. This is a sometimes-difficult transition, but a transition that can in the long run make your holidays more meaningful and memorable for everyone. Find every little joy you can this holiday season; be grateful for it and share it!
POWER~POINT LIFE COACHING & CONSULTANTS POWER~POINT MOMENT: COMMUNICATION "The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place" - George Bernard Shaw
POWER-POINT LIFE COACHING & CONSULTING: The idea is not to block every shot. The idea is to make your opponent believe that you might block every shot.
You can't upload love.You can't download time. You can't Google all of life's answers. You must actually live some of your life. Author unknown.
Lyrics to A Little Too Late : Toby Keith (Chorus)
It's a little too late
I'm a little too gone,
A little too tired of this hangin' on
So I'm letting go while I'm still strong enough to
It's got a little too sad
I'm a little too blue
It's a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I'm big time over you baby
It's a little too late
No I don't want to want to talk about what we can do about us anymore
Only time you and me wastin' is the time it takes to walk right out that door
Yeah talk about water under the bridge,
You should know by now girl that's all this is
(chorus)
It's a little too late,
I'm a little too gone,
A little too tired of just hangin' on
I'm letting go while I'm still strong enough to
It's got a little too sad,
I'm a little too blue
It's a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I'm big time over you baby
It's a little too late
There was a time,
this heart of mine,
would take you back every time
don't you know
It's been two packs of cigaretts
a sleepless night
a nervous wreck, a day ago.
Now you ain't got no business coming around
I'm closing up shop
Shuttin' us down
(chorus)
It's a little too late,
I'm a little too gone,
A little too tired of just hangin' on
I'm letting go while I'm still strong enough to
It's got a little too sad,
I'm a little too blue
It's a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I'm big time over you baby
It's a little too late
I'm big time over you baby,
It's a little too late
(Thanks to Kan for these lyrics) var song_id = ""; var youtube_video = false; var lv_code = ""; var l_code = ""; var v_code = ""; (Chorus)
It's a little too late
I'm a little too gone,
A little too tired of this hangin' on
So I'm letting go while I'm still strong enough to
It's got a little too sad
I'm a little too blue
It's a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I'm big time over you baby
It's a little too late
No I don't want to want to talk about what we can do about us anymore
Only time you and me wastin' is the time it takes to walk right out that door
Yeah talk about water under the bridge,
You should know by now girl that's all this is
(chorus)
It's a little too late,
I'm a little too gone,
A little too tired of just hangin' on
I'm letting go while I'm still strong enough to
It's got a little too sad,
I'm a little too blue
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Change
Posted On 08/20/2011 09:57:36
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People change, and what ones sees on the surface may be indicators of that change....good , bad or indifferent. Could it be we are indeed creatures of our environment and sometimes our environment shows in our life style...Good, bad, or indifferent.
Life 101: "If it seems to be good to be true, it's in all probability not" Life 101.1: "love people, use things. Not use people, love things" Life 101.2 "Be sure the light at the end of the tunnel is not a freight train" Life 101.3 "Not everything in life is "free" and non-conditional". Life 101.4 "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Life 101.5 "Anger begets anger, practice kindness." 
Leo Buscagalia writes in his book, Living, Loving and Learning concerning putting things off: There was a girl who gave me a poem, and she gave me permission to share it with you, and I want to do that because it explains about putting off and putting off and putting off- especially putting off about caring about people we really love. She wants to remain anonymous, but she calls the poem, "Things You Didn't Do." And she says this: Remember the day I borrowed your brand new car and I dented it? I thought you'd kill me, but you didn't. And remember the time I dragged you to the beach, and you said it would rain, and it did? I thought you'd say, I told you so.: But you didn't Do you remember the time I flirted with all the guys to make you jealous, and you were? I thought you'd leave me, But you didn't. Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry pie all over your car rug? I thought you's hit me, but you didn't And remember the time I forgot to tell you the dance was formal, and you showed up in jeans? I thought you'd drop me, but you didn't. Yes, there were alot of things you didn't do. But you put up with me, and you love me, and you protected me. There were lots of things I wanted to make up to you when you returned from Viet Nam. But you didn't The point is clear. Don't wait. Do it now. If you have a word that needs to be expressed, say it now, If you have a broken relationship that ought to be mended, don't let the sun go down tonight without setting it straight. If you have something you need to be doing, seize the moment! Do it now! My heart and spirit grieves for the family, loved ones, friends of those whose life was taken in a moment of senseless mass murder in Norway. Perhaps it reminds us of the saying,"HURT people, HURT PEOPLE. "loving one another still is the greater good" Credit: Moore, James W., Seizing The Moments Now, Making the Most of Life's Opportunities.pp 31, 2001, Dimensions for Living, Nashville, TN Be good, Be well, Be safe, "Jeff" SounderPA"
"Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny. - Author unknown, although sometimes attributed to Frank Outlaw. source: The 50 Greatest quotes of all time- and why?by Tim Brownson
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