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"Give out Love with a glad, free heart and hand. Use all you can for others and back will come countless stores and blessings." -- GOD Who Started Christmas Anyhow?
"In the beginning was the Word [Jesus the Christ], and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. . . . The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."1
I read the following story about a woman who was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row of toys, and everything else imaginable, and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids. She was feeling what so many of us feel during the Christmas holiday season. Overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, getting the perfect gift for every person on one's shopping list, and making sure no one on the card list and those who sent a card is forgotten. When the elevator doors opened there was already a crowd in the car. Exasperated, she pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot." From the back of the car everyone heard a quiet calm voice respond, "Don't worry, we already crucified him." For the rest of the trip down the elevator was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Don't forget this year to keep the One who started Christmas in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word. If we all did it, just think of how different this whole world would be.2 Suggested prayer: "Dear God, how can I ever thank you enough for the greatest Christmas gift ever given, your Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Help me—not only during the Christmas season, but all year long—to so live that my life will reflect an attitude of gratitude in everything I am and do. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." ******************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: welter • WEL-ter • verb
1 : writhe, toss; also : wallow 2 : to become deeply sunk, soaked, or involved 3 : to be in turmoil Example sentence:
Seasick passengers took to their cabins as the ship weltered upon the waves of the stormy sea. "No wonder you weltered about for years in depression, addiction, serial unemployment, fragmentation, futility." -- From Sarah Gabriel's 2009 memoir Eating Pomegranates *********************************** Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat,
Please to put a penny in the old man’s hat;
If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do,
If you haven’t got a ha’penny, God bless you! –beggar’s rhyme ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ December 25—Christmas Day Christmas Day is a Christian holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ. Although the actual date of Christ’s birth is unknown, it has been celebrated on December 25 since the 4th century. Today’s rich mosaic of Christmas customs dates back through the ages. Christmas Day
Christmas Day is a Christian holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ. Although the actual date of Christ’s birth is unknown, it has been celebrated on December 25 since the 4th century. Christmas is also extensively celebrated by non-Christians as a seasonal holiday, on which popular traditions such as gift-giving, feasting, and caroling take place. In ancient times, Celts divided the year into four sections marked by “quarter daysâ€â€”the days of the two solstices and two equinoxes. The winter solstice, the shortest and darkest day of the year, was the fourth quarter day. It signaled a celebratory time, as the Sun began to reemerge and the land experienced a rebirth. Gradually, to conform more closely to the liturgical year of the Christian church, the fourth quarter day merged easily with the Christian celebration of the birth of Christ. As Christianity began to spread in the 4th century, the Christmas feast day was set on December 25 by Pope Julius I to align with the Roman pagan holiday Dies natalis solis invicti, “the birth of the invincible Sun.†Today’s rich mosaic of Christmas customs dates back through the ages. Evergreen branches were used to symbolize life in ancient solstice festivals, as they stayed green in winter. This tradition was absorbed by Christians, who interpreted the evergreens as the Paradise tree and began decorating them with apples. The candles and lights associated with Christmas, meant to symbolize guiding beacons for the Christ child, may have evolved from the Yule log, which was lit to entice the Sun to return as part of the jol (Yule) festival in pagan Scandinavia. ************************************ THINGS TO PONDER: If the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, what is the speed of dark?
THINGS TO PONDER: If trailer parks didn't exist would tornadoes exist?
THINGS TO PONDER: Why do some ranchers put old boots on fence posts? You might be a REDNECK if...
...you own a Waffle House credit card
You might be a REDNECK if...
...there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
You might be a REDNECK if...
...you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.
- Thomas H. Huxley He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.
- Saki "Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go."
- William Feather What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?
- Henry David Thoreau CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: Look at the means which a man employs, consider his motives, observe his pleasures. A man simply cannot conceal himself! ********************************** Something to do when you get older Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a sh..-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote... Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had an Obama sticker.... We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.. It's important at our age. ************************ DOG TIPS FOR THE DAY: Yes, Dogs Eat Glue - A Very Serious (and Common) Emergency
Today I want to talk to you about a very serious emergency that is becoming more and more common. It is caused by what we call expandable water-activated glues. One common brand is called 'Gorilla Glue". This is a great product that works really well for gluing... but it is a disaster when ingested by dogs. Take a look at this x-ray. This is a dog laying on his side - and that big round mass (arrows) is the stomach full of glue. When the glue is ingested it is activated and it expands when in contact with water. It becomes a rock hard mass that cannot be digested, vomited or passed on. The only option is surgical removal. The other day I talked to a vet that saw two dogs with this problem in one weekend. In fact, she gave me these photos to share with you. Dogs are curious and they naturally get into a lot of things that they shouldn't. It is not uncommon for this hospitalization, treatment, surgery, etc. to cost over $2,000 and even up to $5,000. That is A LOT of money. If an emergency like this would also be a lot for you to handle, consider pet insurance. To see if pet insurance is right for you take two minutes and go to Petinsurance.com to get your free quote. Some other common toxins and dangers to dogs include: antifreeze, grapes and raisins, food and gum sweetened with xylitol, and human medications of all types. Please be aware of your environment and protect your precious dog from unexpected emergencies. I hope this helps to keep your dog safe! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODAY'S PET TIP Medication Toxicity
Some common medications can have serious effects on animals if not used correctly. If your pet has ingested an unprescribed medication, contact your veterinarian or local veterinary emergency facility. Give the name of the medication, how many and what dose your pet received, what time the ingestion could have occurred, as well as pet information such as breed, age and another health problems he/she may have. You may receive instructions of what to do at home or what to watch for. In some situations, emergency examination and treatment are crucial. ********************* Why Do Dogs DESTROY Their Squeaky Toys? Some dogs are very destructive with their toys. Even dogs that are generally pretty good can be VERY destructive sometimes. This can be a very annoying behavior if you are the dog owner buying the toys they destroy. What is equally annoying is that many dogs quit playing with their toys after they get the squeaker out or the toys quit squeaking. Why do dogs do this? Our theory goes back to nature. When dogs hunted for prey, they would hunt and kill. Their prey would squeak or make noises. This was part of their natural hunting instinct. Once caught, the prey made noises as the dog proceeded with the kill, which can be very satisfying to a hungry dog.?When the prey was dead - the squeaking stopped. A squeaky toy can give a dog the same type of satisfaction. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODAY'S PET TIP Bright Clothing Colors and Reflective Dog Collars
Here is a tip from one of our PetPlace.com users: To put it simply, put something on you and your dog to make you both as visible as possible. The brightest colors are best and a flashing light such as a bicycle light that flashes are worth their weight in gold. Also, for your dog or cat, the purchase of an illuminated flashing collar is the best defense you have against getting hit by a vehicle at night. I've heard too many stories of people and their pets being hit and either seriously injured or killed because they didn't make themselves visible. Even in daylight, one should make oneself as visible as possible. Cars no matter what the color become almost impossible to see in the distance and it is exactly the same for animals. I always wear bright clothing and my flashing light when walking my dog Casey who is a mixed breed husky, shepherd, who knows what else combination. He has his own flashing, reflective collar and he always has it on at night. It is not a matter of fashion; it is a matter of utmost safety. Dogs are injured needlessly because owners don't take the time and trouble to protect their pets properly. Instead of spending money on frivolous items, spend a little money to protect you and your dog. It is money well spent. And also, carry water for your dog when walking. You'd get hot and thirsty if you were walking and would carry something to drink so do the same for your dog. Wouldn't you get hot and thirsty if you had to wear a fur coat all the time? I hope this helps pet owners out there. Show your animals just how much you love them and it will come back to you tenfold. *************************************** LESSON LEARNED!!!!!
>
>
> I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she
> grows up. She said she wanted to be President of the United States .
>
> Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there. So I asked
> her, "If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?"
> She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people...
>
> Her parents proudly beamed. "Wow...what a worthy goal," I told her. "But
> you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. Tell you what - you
> can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my
> driveway, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery
> store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to
> use toward food and a new house. How about doing something wonderful like
> that?"
>
> She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in
> The eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work,
> and you can just pay him the $50?"
>
> I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
>
> Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
>
********************************* Boneless Pork Loin Roast with Herbed Pepper Rub Roast your potatoes and vegetables with the pork. Serves: 6-8 with leftovers
Prep. time: 65 minutes
Cooking time: 45 to 90 minutes
3 pound boneless pork loin roast
2 tablespoons cracked black pepper
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
2 teaspoons dried basil
2 teaspoons dried rosemary
2 teaspoons dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
Pat pork dry with paper towel. In small bowl, combine remaining ingredients to make a rub for the roast and apply to all surfaces of the pork roast. Place roast in a shallow pan and roast in a 350 degrees F. oven for 1-1 1/4 hours (18-20 minutes per pound), until internal temperature, measured with a meat thermometer, registers 155 degrees F. Remove roast from oven and let rest for 5-10 minutes before slicing to serve. Serves 6-8, with leftovers. ***************************
Old Fashioned Potato Candy 1/2 (or 1 small) boiled potato
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
About 2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup peanut butter
Mash potato, add butter, vanilla and enough
powdered sugar to make a slightly stiff dough. Roll out dough (on a surface dusted with powdered sugar) and spread on the peanut butter.
Roll dough up (as for jelly roll) to make a log.
Cut into pieces, let air dry for about an hour. Store in air tight container. Makes about 2 dozen confections. ************************* Chocolate-Filled Biscotti Yields: 8 dozen biscotti Prep Time: 1 hr
Cook Time: 20 min
Oven Temp: 350
Ingredients
Cream Cheese Dough:
4 cup(s) all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon(s) baking powder
1 teaspoon(s) salt
1 cup(s) (2 sticks) butter (no substitutions), softened
6 ounce(s) cream cheese, softened
1 cup(s) granulated sugar
1 cup(s) (packed) brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon(s) vanilla extract Chocolate Filling: 1 can(s) (14-ounce) sweetened condensed milk
8 ounce(s) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, cut up
1 cup(s) walnuts, coarsely chopped
Confectioners’ sugar for sprinkling
Directions
Prepare Cream Cheese Dough: In medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt.
In large bowl, with mixer on medium speed, beat butter and cream cheese until well blended. Gradually add sugars and beat 3 minutes or until light and creamy, occasionally scraping bowl with rubber spatula. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla. Reduce speed to low; gradually beat in flour mixture just until blended, occasionally scraping bowl.
Place level 3/4 cup dough on sheet of plastic wrap. Repeat to make 7 more 3/4 cupfuls. Wrap each with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.
When ready to roll out dough, prepare Chocolate Filling: In 2-quart saucepan, heat sweetened condensed milk and chocolate over medium heat just until chocolate melts, stirring frequently. Remove saucepan from heat; stir in walnuts. Cool filling to room temperature, about 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease 2 large cookie sheets.
Remove 1 piece of dough from refrigerator. On lightly floured 16-inch sheet of waxed paper, with floured rolling pin, roll dough into 10" by 6" rectangle. Spread heaping 1/4 cup filling lengthwise down center of rectangle. Starting from a long side and using waxed paper to help lift dough, fold 1 side of dough lengthwise over filling, then remaining side over dough (dough should overlap).
Pick up waxed paper and flip cookie log onto 1 side of prepared cookie sheet, seam side down. Repeat with another piece of dough and filling. Flip second log parallel to first log, leaving about 2 inches between logs.
Bake logs 20 to 22 minutes or until edges are lightly golden. Cool logs on cookie sheet 2 minutes, then transfer to wire rack to cool completely.
While logs bake, repeat with remaining dough and filling.
Wrap each cooled log separately with foil or plastic wrap, and store in tightly covered containers at room temperature up to 2 weeks or in freezer up to 3 months.
To serve, sprinkle logs with confectioners’ sugar. Cut each log crosswise on the diagonal into 12 slices. (If logs are frozen, thaw completely at room temperature before sprinkling with sugar and slicing.) ****************** Beef Wellington Looking for an impressive dish for the holidays? It takes a little time to put this dish together, but it's simple to do...and the results are outstanding and delicious. Serves: 10
Prep. time: 30 minutes
Cooking time: 55 minutes; chill time 1 hour INGREDIENTS: 1 beef tenderloin 2- to 2 1/2-lb.
Ground black pepper, (optional)
1/2 of a 17.3 ounce pkg. Pepperidge Farm Frozen Puff Pastry, (1 sheet)
1 egg
1 tbsp. water
1 tbsp. butter
2 cups finely chopped mushrooms
1 medium onion, finely chopped (about 1/2 cup)
Heat the oven to 425°F. Place the beef into a lightly greased roasting pan. Season with the black pepper, if desired. Roast for 30 minutes or until a meat thermometer reads 130°F. Cover the pan and refrigerate for 1 hour.
Reheat the oven to 425°F. Beat the egg and water in a small bowl with a fork or whisk.
Heat the butter in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add the mushrooms and onion and cook until the mushrooms are tender and all the liquid is evaporated, stirring often. Unfold the pastry sheet on a lightly floured surface. Roll the pastry sheet into a rectangle 4 inches longer and 6 inches wider than the beef. Brush the pastry sheet with the egg mixture. Spoon the mushroom mixture onto the pastry sheet to within 1-inch of the edges. Place the beef in the center of the mushroom mixture. Fold the pastry over the beef and press to seal. Place seam-side down onto a baking sheet. Tuck the ends under to seal. Brush the pastry with the egg mixture. Bake for 25 minutes or until the pastry is golden brown and a meat thermometer reads 140°F. Serving Suggestion: Serve with green beans amandine. For dessert serve with cheesecake topped with sliced strawberries. ************************** Super Easy Soft Pretzels! Even I can do it!
What do you feed drunk and hungry boys dizzy from playing video games for 4 hours (and counting)? Why, soft pretzels of course! I found a lovely blog entry that inspired me to try my hand at homemade soft pretzels. I LOVE soft pretzels. I only wish I had some warm cheese for dipping.
This dough is RIDICULOUSLY easy to make. It's almost fool proof. Just look at that happy dough. It's ready for a rest in a warm oven. (I like to turn the oven on for a few seconds to lock in a bit of heat. Just don't forget to turn it off!)
The dough rose very well. It might be the first dough to rise at it's supposed time - 45-55 minutes. I'm in love with it. It's so cooperative!
Divide the cooperative dough into eight equal pieces. Now you have 8 little happy dough balls. I should name them. They're so sweet.
Roll the balls into long logs - about two feet long. Twist them around and hide them under some plastic wrap to keep them moist.
This step was totally new for me. Drop the pretzels into a boiling bath of water and baking soda. Yes, baking soda! 10 cups of water and 2/3 cup baking soda. I don't know, man. It's science.
After a 30 second bath, lather them up with a wash of egg yolk and water. Sprinkle them with coarse salt.
Look at them! I'm so proud! Not a bad first attempt if I do say so myself. The boys devoured them. How could they not? They are soft, warm, fluffy, buttery, salty, fantastic! If you are a very visual person like me, then you will appreciate these videos. Alton Brown, the coolest food guy on TV, did an episode all about the soft pretzel. You can see it in parts here and here.
Get his recipe here. I HIGHLY suggest you whip these up immediately. They are soooo easy and fairly quick for a yeasty food. (It took me about two hours.) So, eat em' while they're hot, and don't forget the cheese and mustard!
******************** Easy Chicken Paprika Easy elegance… Browned chicken is added to a creamy mushroom sauce rich with sour cream and seasoned with paprika and red pepper. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 20 INGREDIENTS: 1 tbsp. butter
1 1/4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 can Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
2 tsp. paprika
1/8 tsp. ground red pepper
1/3 cup plain yogurt or 1/3 cup sour cream or plain yogurt
2/3 of a 12-ounce package medium egg noodles (about 4 cups), cooked and drained
DIRECTIONS:
MIX broth, flour, paprika and pepper.
COOK chicken in nonstick skillet until browned.
ADD flour mixture. Cook and stir until mixture boils and thickens. Add onion. Cover and cook over low heat 10 min. or until chicken is done. Remove from heat.
STIR in yogurt. Serve with noodles.
************************* You might be a REDNECK if...
...you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups
********************** Christmas Superstitions It is said : - The child born on Christmas Day will have a special fortune.
- Snow on Christmas means Easter will be green.
- You will have as many happy months in the coming year, as the number of houses you eat mince pies in during Christmastime.
- In Greece, some people burn their old shoes during the Christmas season to prevent misfortunes in the coming year.
- To have good health throughout the next year, eat an apple on Christmas Eve.
- The gates of Heaven open at midnight on Christmas Eve. Those who die then go straight to Heaven (an Irish beleif).
- Christmas candles should be left burning until Christmas morning and should rest undisturbed from time of lighting until they are snuffed.
- Singing Christmas carols at any time other than during the festive season is unlucky.
- The yule log should be lit by a piece of the log used on the previous Christmas. Once that is done, no evil spirit can then enter into the house. The remains of the Yule log were also considered lucky, and would be a protection against lightning or fire.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christmas Superstitions At midnight on Christmas Eve,
all water turns to wine,
cattle kneel facing toward the East,
horses kneel and blow as if to warm the manger,
animals can speak but it is bad for a human to hear them,
and the bees hum the Hundredth Psalm. The Irish believe that the gates of heaven
open at midnight on Christmas Eve.
Those who die at that time go straight through
without having to wait in purgatory. It is considered very lucky to be born
on Christmas Eve or Christmas day in most countries.
However, in Greece the child is feared to be
a Kallikantzaroi or a wandering spirit.
In Poland the child may turn out to be a werewolf. The weather on each of the twelve days of Christmas
signifies what the weather will be on
the appropriate month of the coming year. There is a game in Germany where they blindfold a goose.
The girls make a circle around the goose and whoever
it touches first will be the first to get married. Place a branch of a cherry tree in water
at the beginning of advent.
It will bring luck if it flowers by Christmas. You should burn your old shoes during
the Christmas season in Greece
to prevent misfortunes in the coming year. It is bad luck to let any fire go out
in your house during the Christmas season.
The fire in your fireplace must continue to burn
for the twelve days of Christmas. If you do not eat plum pudding during the season,
you will have bad luck for a year. If you refuse mince pie at Christmas dinner,
you will have bad luck for a year. A loaf of bread left on the table
after Christmas Eve dinner will ensure
no lack of bread for the next year. If an apple is eaten at midnight on Christmas Eve,
good health will follow for a year. Tie wet bands of straw around fruit trees
to make them fruitful, or tie a stone
to a branch on Christmas Eve. Nothing sown on Christmas Eve will perish,
even if the seed is sown in the snow. In the Netherlands they take a fir stick and
thrust it into the fire and let it burn partially.
They put it under the bed.
This serves as lightening protection. Never launder a Christmas present
before giving it to its recipient
as this takes out the good luck.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPES
Reminders from God: "No evil force can hinder my Power. Only you yourself have power to do that. Think all of God's forces arrayed to help you-- and your puny self impedes the onward march." -- GOD Galatians 4:4-5
“But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons.†Isaiah 7:14
“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.†Our Daily Devotional: Healthy Choices Ephesians 5:15-18 NIV: Be very careful, then, how you live?not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord´s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. When I learned I had high cholesterol, I knew changes were going to have to be made. I would need to get proper exercise, and change my diet. I knew if I was going to be serious, some things had to go, while other things must become part of my daily living. As with physical food, there are many spiritual foods to choose from. With what is available, it would be easy for Christians to be saturated with worldly ways through entertainment, books, television, movies, and so on. But, there comes a point when we have to face facts. We are effected by what we put into our minds just as we are by what goes into our bodies. If we are serious about being Christ-like, we will recognize that some things will have to go, while other things will need to become a part of our daily living.
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
- Genesis 1:26 ************************ Word for the Day: comity • KAH-muh-tee • noun : friendly civility : courtesy Example sentence:
In the interests of neighborhood comity , everyone agreed to a block-wide tag sale.
"Two years after an election that seemed to portend a new era of comity , American politics has resumed what now appears to be its permanent condition of polarization, quite possibly worsened by widening rifts within the two major parties." -- From an essay by Sam Tanenhaus in The New York Times , October 24, 2010 Did you know?
"Our country soweth also in the field of our breasts many precious seeds, as … honest behavior, affability, comity," wrote English clergyman Thomas Becon in 1543. Becon's use is the earliest documented appearance of "comity" -- a word derived from Latin "comitas," meaning "courteousness. ************************* CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: I will not be concerned at other men's not knowing me;I will be concerned at my own want of ability. "The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. "
- Confucius THINGS TO PONDER: Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing? We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
- Anais Nin Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
- W. Somerset Maugham The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
- Dick Cavett Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
- Dave Barry I could prove God statistically.
- George Gallup Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.
- Robertson Davies I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
- Robert Orben Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?
- George Wallace You might be a REDNECK if...
...the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes
THING TO PONDER: If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? ******************************* Cherry-Fudge Cheesecake Chocolate and cherries marry in this decadent cheesecake made easy with a brownie mix. Prep Time15 Minutes
Total Time 3:25 Hrs:Mins Makes 16 servings
Chocolate and cherries marry in this decadent cheesecake made easy with a brownie mix. 1 box (1 lb 2.4 oz) Betty Crocker Original Supreme Premium brownie mix
3/4 cup flour
1/3 cup butter or margarine, melted
2 packages (8 ounces each) cream cheese, softened
1 1/2 cups whipping (heavy) cream
1 can (21 ounces) cherry pie filling
Heat oven to 350ºF. Stir together 3/4 cup of the brownie mix (dry), flour and the butter. Press in bottom of ungreased springform pan, 9x3 inches, or square pan, 9x9x2 inches.
Beat cream cheese in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed about 2 minutes, scraping bowl frequently, until smooth. Add remaining brownie mix, the whipping cream and chocolate syrup. Beat on medium speed, scraping bowl frequently, until smooth. Pour over crust in pan.
Bake 45 to 50 minutes for springform pan, 35 to 40 minutes for 9-inch square pan, or until set; cool 20 minutes. Run metal spatula along side of cheesecake to loosen before and after refrigerating. Spread pie filling over cheesecake. Cover and refrigerate until chilled, about 2 hours. Cover and refrigerate any remaining cheesecake. **************** Mexican Wedding Cookies (Polvorones) 20 min
15 min
4 dozen cookies INGREDIENTS: 1 cup Crisco Butter Shortening OR 1 stick Crisco Butter Shortening Sticks
2 cups powdered sugar, divided
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups Pillsbury BEST All Purpose Flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 cups finely chopped walnuts PREPARATION DIRECTIONS: 1.HEAT oven to 350°F. 2.COMBINE shortening, 1 cup powdered sugar and vanilla in bowl of electric mixer; beat on medium speed until well blended. 3.COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in medium bowl. Add to creamed mixture; mix well. Stir in walnuts; mix well. Roll dough into walnut-size balls; place on ungreased baking sheets about 1 1/2 inches apart. 4.BAKE 15 minutes or until edges begin to brown slightly. Cool on baking sheets until cool enough to handle, but still warm. While still warm, roll in remaining 1 cup powdered sugar; place on cooling racks to cool completely. ******** Crusty Parmesan Fillets This quick tasty fish dish goes well with rice and salad--just right for a weekday meal. Can’t find snapper? Try this with cod, haddock or another white fish. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 18 minutes INGREDIENTS: 4 (6-ounce) snapper fillets, about 1-inch thick
1/3 cup oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, drained
1/4 cup grainy mustard
1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives, or two teaspoons dried chives
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 to 1/3 cup water
3 tablespoons dry bread crumbs
3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
Lemon wedges, for serving DIRECTIONS:
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Coat a 13 x 9-inch baking pan with nonstick cooking spray. Pat the fish dry with paper towels and arrange in the baking pan; set aside. Rinse the tomatoes under warm water and transfer to the bowl of a food processor fitted with the metal blade. Add the mustard, walnuts, chives and pepper and process to a coarse puree. Process again, adding enough water to make a spreadable paste about the consistency of mayonnaise. Spread the top of each fillet with one-quarter of the mixture. Stir the bread crumbs and cheese together and then sprinkle over the fish. Bake for 15 to 18 minutes, until lightly browned and the fish is done; it should flake easily and be opaque throughout. Serve with lemon wedges. ************************** Creamy Hot Cocoa - - You can use all milk instead of 1/2 and 1/2.
.INGREDIENTS
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 cup white sugar
1 pinch salt
1/3 cup boiling water
3 1/2 cups milk
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup half-and-half cream
..DIRECTIONS
1.Combine the cocoa, sugar and pinch of salt in a saucepan. Blend in the boiling water. Bring this mixture to an easy boil while you stir. Simmer and stir for about 2 minutes. Watch that it doesn't scorch. Stir in 3 1/2 cups of milk and heat until very hot, but do not boil! Remove from heat and add vanilla. Divide between 4 mugs. Add the cream to the mugs of cocoa to cool it to drinking temperature.
****************************** Hot Cocoa Skill Level: Beginner Prep Time: 25 Minutes Ingredients
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
Dash salt
1/3 cup hot water
4 cups (1 qt.) milk
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
Miniature marshmallows or sweetened whipped cream (optional) Directions
1. Stir together sugar, cocoa and salt in medium saucepan; stir in water. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil. Boil and stir 2 minutes. Add milk; stirring constantly, heat to serving temperature. Do Not Boil. 2 Remove from heat; add vanilla. Beat with rotary beater or whisk until foamy. Serve topped with marshmallows or whipped cream, if desired. Five 8-oz. servings. VARIATIONS: Add one of the following with the vanilla extract: SPICED COCOA: 1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon and 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg. Serve with cinnamon stick, if desired. MINT COCOA: 1/2 teaspoon mint extract OR 3 tablespoons crushed hard peppermint candy OR 2 to 3 tablespoons white creme de menthe. Serve with peppermint candy stick, if desired. CITRUS COCOA: 1/2 teaspoon orange extract OR 2 to 3 tablespoons orange liqueur. SWISS MOCHA: 2 to 2-1/2 teaspoons powdered instant coffee. COCOA AU LAIT: Omit marshmallows or whipped cream. Spoon 2 tablespoons softened vanilla ice cream on top of each cup of cocoa at serving time. SLIM-TRIM COCOA: Omit sugar. Combine cocoa, salt and water; substitute nonfat milk. Proceed as above. With vanilla, stir in sugar substitute with sweetening equivalence of 1/2 cup sugar. CANADIAN COCOA: 1/2 teaspoon maple extract. MICROWAVE SINGLE SERVING: Coombine 1 heaping teaspoon HERSHEY'S Cocoa, 2 heaping teaspoons sugar and dash salt in microwave-safe cup or mug. Add 2 teaspoons cold milk; stir until smooth. Fill cup with milk. Microwave at HIGH (100%) 1 to 1-1/2 minutes or until hot. Stir to blend; serve. http://www.hersheys.com/recipes/5265/Hot%20Cocoa.aspx **************************** Dear Santa,
please send some of your elves to tidy my house and make my cookies. i did your job and got the presents i think you owe me.
Signed
Broke, and tired. . . ************************** Baked Macaroni and Cheese with Ham Good old-fashioned baked macaroni and cheese never lets you down. Serves: 6
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 45 minutes INGREDIENTS:
3 tablespoons butter or margarine
2 tablespoons flour
4 cups lowfat milk
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 onion, chopped
1/4 pound mushrooms, sliced
1/2 pound smoked cooked ham, cut into 1/4-inch pieces
2 1/2 cups grated Cheddar cheese
3/4 pound elbow macaroni
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese DIRECTIONS:
Heat water for the pasta in a large saucepan.
Heat the oven to 400 degrees.
Heat 2 tablespoons of the butter in a 2-quart saucepan over low heat until foaming. Add the flour and cook, stirring for 2 minutes. Gradually stir in the milk and continue to stir until the mixture is smooth. Stir in the mustard, salt, nutmeg and cayenne.
Heat the remaining butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring, for 4 or 5 minutes until softened. Add the mushrooms and ham and cook for an additional 10 or 12 minutes until the mushrooms are tender and the excess liquid has evaporated.
Gradually add the cheddar cheese to the white sauce, stirring after each addition, until melted. Add the mushroom mixture and stir well to combine.
Meanwhile, cook the pasta for 12 to 15 minutes until tender. Drain well in a colander.
Spoon half the macaroni into a buttered, 3-quart baking dish. Add half the sauce and stir gently to combine. Top with the remaining macaroni and pour the remaining sauce over it. Sprinkle with the Parmesan cheese and bake for 20 minutes. ********** A babu, or native clerk, in India, who prided himself on his mastery of the English tongue and skill in its idioms, sent the following telegram in announcement of his mother's death: "Regret to announce that hand which rocked the cradle has kicked the bucket." ********************* A visitor to Philadelphia, unfamiliar with the garb of the Society of Friends, was much interested in two demure and placid Quakeresses who took seats directly behind her in the Broad Street Station. After a few minutes' silence she was somewhat startled to hear a gentle voice inquire: "Sister Kate, will thee go to the counter and have a milk punch on me?"—Carolina Lockhart. ******************** "I am going to start a garden," announced Mr. Subbubs. "A few months from now I won't be kicking about your prices." "No," said the grocer; "you'll be wondering how I can afford to sell vegetables so cheap." ******************* The lawyer was sitting at his desk absorbed in the preparation of a brief. So bent was he on his work that he did not hear the door as it was pushed gently open, nor see the curly head that was thrust into his office. A little sob attracted his notice, and, turning he saw a face that was streaked with tears and told plainly that feelings had been hurt. "Well, my little man, did you want to see me?" "Are you a lawyer?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I want"—and there was resolute ring in his voice—"I want a divorce from my papa and mama." ********************************* How to Make Corn Fritters Crispy and tasty, corn fritters can be served with a sweet chilli sauce, or served as an accompaniment to a main meal. In this article, you can take your pick between two recipes, or perhaps even try both to see which you like the most. These tasty fritters are ideal quick fix foods for a lazy Sunday morning brunch, for a late night supper, or for any other time you'd like to enjoy corn fritters. Both recipes provide 4 servings,
making up to 24 individual fritters.
Ingredients
Version 1: 90 g / 3 1/8 oz corn flour
60 g / 2 18 oz all-purpose flour
¼ tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
1 tsp ground coriander
½ tsp ground cumin
1 egg , lightly beaten
A few drops of lemon juice
350 g / 12 1/2 oz sweet corn
4 spring onions , finely sliced
3 tbsp chopped coriander
1 small bowl of sweet chilli sauce , to serve
100 ml / 3 1/3 oz oil for frying
120 ml / 4 1/4 oz water Ingredients for :
Version 2: 15.2 - 5 ounces of whole kernel corn
2 eggs
2 tablespoons of flour
Salt
Pepper
Two tablespoons of vegetable oil Steps
Version 1
1 Sift the ingredients. Sieve the corn flour, flour, baking powder, salt, ground coriander and cumin into a bowl.
2 Make the batter. Add the egg, a few drops of lemon juice and the water.
Mix until you have a smooth batter.
3 Finish the batter. Add the sweetcorn, spring onions and chopped coriander to the batter.
Mix well.
4 Heat the oil. In a frying pan, heat the oil.
5 Cook the fritters. When the oil is hot, add 2 tablespoons of the mixture for each fritter and flatten with the back of a spoon.
6 Cook for about 2-3 minutes and then turn over to the other side. Cook until golden brown on both sides.
7 Drain the fritters. When the fritters are cooked, absorb any excess oil with kitchen paper.
8 Serve. Serve with chili sauce and garnish with coriander or parsley leaves. Version 2 1 Open cans of corn and drain. Place corn in a large bowl.
2 Separate eggs into 2 small bowls. Lightly beat egg yolks.
3Add egg yolks to corn. Add flour, salt, and pepper to taste.
4Beat egg whites with hand-held mixer until stiff peaks are formed. Then fold egg whites into the corn mixture.
5 Heat large skillet on high. Add 2 tablespoons of oil to skillet.
6 Reduce heat to medium. Add batter to skillet.
7 Cook until browned, about 2 minutes on each side.8 Place on plate and enjoy!
**********************************
Subject: The Old Rancher
> >
> > The banker saw his old friend Tom in town. Tom had lost his
> > wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying
> > a 'mail order' bride.
> >
> > Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was
> > true.
> > Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age
> > of his new bride to be.
> > Tom proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.'
> > Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that
> > the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by
> > an eighty-year- old man.
> >
> > Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker
> > tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired
> > hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take
> > its own course.
> >
> > Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one
> > that afternoon.
> >
> > About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.
> >
> >
> > 'How's the new wife?', asked the banker.
> >
> > Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.'
> >
> > The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out,
> > continued, 'And how's the hired hand?'
> >
> > Without hesitating, Tom said, 'She's pregnant too.'
> >
> >
> >
> > Don't ever underestimate old Guys.
> >
****************************************************** TODAY'S PET TIP How Often to Bathe a Dog
That all depends on your pet. Factors include: his hair coat, hair length, how often he gets dirty, where he lives (if he is indoor or outdoors most of the time), shedding cycle, and any underlying skin problem (please see our related article, "Top Medical Reasons for Grooming Your Dog"). Some dogs need baths only a couple times year while others need weekly grooming. It is beneficial to brush your dog about twice a week. Bathing your dog every month or two isn't unreasonable, but some dogs will need more frequent cleanings. A good rule of thumb is to bathe your pet only when his coat gets dirty or begins to smell "doggy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do you dread giving your dog a bath? Is it a big soapy mess? Do you let your dog go without a bath for weeks because it is simply too much of a hassle? Well, you're not alone. My friend, Margie, has a little black and white Terrier named Chips who just HATES baths. Every time she mentions the word "BATH," he runs away and hides under the sofa. It takes the entire family to catch and bathe him. Margie even tried SPELLING the word. "It's time to give Chips a B-A-T-H," she would say. But Chips soon caught on and began running for cover at the very spelling of the word "BATH." (Who said dogs aren't smart?) There are many challenges to washing your dog. Big dogs can be more of a handful just because of their size. Dogs with thick coats are always more difficult to bathe because it's hard to clean through the fur, down to the skin. Some people don't have yards with an outdoor hose for bathing the dog. And even though the job is just too messy to be done indoors for some dogs, it must be done regardless. (Any time your dog starts to SMELL like a dog, it is time for a good bath.)
Professional groomers are always a good option ... provided it's within your budget (which is not always the case - especially these days).
Regardless of HOW you do it, your dog needs to be bathed regularly, indoors or out no matter HOW MESSY the job can be.
Here are some tips to help make the job easier.
1. Start bathing your dog regularly at a young age to get him used to the process. But remember puppies should be at least four weeks old before they receive their first bath.
2. Before starting an indoor bath, make sure the house is warm. Turn up the thermostat a few degrees if necessary. Do your prep work. Have everything ready ahead of time, shampoo, towels, the works. 3. Start by combing and brushing out all mats. Otherwise, the water will turn the mats into solid masses, which will require clippers to remove. If your dog's hair is matted with paint, tar or some other sticky material, trim with clippers or soak the area with vegetable or mineral oil for 24 hours. (Consult a professional groomer for especially difficult tangles.) 4. Prep your dog. Put a drop of mineral oil in the eyes to protect them from suds. Some people use cotton balls in the ears. If you use cotton balls, make sure they're the right size for your dog's ears; if they're too small, they may slip down the ear canal. 5. Bathe your dog as quickly as possible to make the process less annoying for both of you. Be thorough and do a good cleaning, but whether you're using an indoor tub or shower or washing him in the yard, do it as quickly as possible. Then, make sure to dry your dog immediately. Use a good pet shammy, lots of big soft towels, or a hair dryer set to a low setting. (If you don't dry him, he will "shake off" all the water on you, your house or anything nearby!) **************************************** MY DOGS This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said,
"Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare." So I explained to her that my dogs
are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging
clue who their Daddy's are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with
housing and medical care. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes
to qualify. My dogs get their first checks Friday. Damn, this is a great country!
***************************** A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the
most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in
the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent
when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a
terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The
woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible. As she hung up she realized she was
leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the
hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a
cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the
last shop. She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the lady doctor in the
corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished
your shopping trip, didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While
you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your
husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as
well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be
the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will
require round-the-clock care. And that will now be your new career!' At this the woman broke down and sobbed. The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. Show me what you bought.'
****************************** What is Old? "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Choose one, I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN. A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by.... The doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN.... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fibre today.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to wee
*****************************************
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed:
"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished." So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.
WISHING A HAPPY AND GLUTTONOUS HOLDAY SEASON TO ALL
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPES
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "The world does not need supermen, but supernatural men. Men who persistently turn the self out of their lives. The world would be saved tomorrow if people would let Me just use them." -- GOD John 6:35
“Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.†Relationships "A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again."1 A Daily Encounter subscriber writes, "Dear ACTS, I have a relationship problem. My second relationship turns out to be a man of many personalities with a hidden secret to his life. What should I do? Move on or help out as a friend? Please help." Hello Jean (name changed), chances are that you may not like what I have to say but the fact is that the kind of persons we are attracted to—especially romantically—says a lot about ourselves. Thus, it is very important that you understand what it is in you that attracted you to this type of person and they to you. As I have often said, we are as sick (or as healthy) as the person/s we are attracted to. It is one thing to help a person if you are a counselor and they admit that they have a problem and need help. It is a totally different thing if you are romantically interested in a person who is in need of help and you want to "fix" him. Not good. Chances are you are a co-dependent person who needs to be needed in order to feel loved. The problem is that this is not love—it is need. Furthermore, being the helper/fixer of someone else is a way to avoid facing and resolving your own issues. Keep in mind, too, that codependent people are attracted to over-dependent, needy persons. The only way anyone of us can find and have healthy relationships is to become healthy and whole ourselves. For only to the degree that we are made whole will our lifestyle, our attitudes, our behaviors, and our relationships be wholesome. So whatever you do, before you make a commitment and get involved romantically with any man be absolutely sure you are emotionally healthy and ready for a healthy relationship. Let this be a wake-up call for you to get into a recovery program and work on your own growth and well-being. You may find some very helpful articles on our website at
http://www.actsweb.org/articles/Recovery.php Also, every day pray and commit and trust your life and way to God asking him to help you become a whole and healthy person—the kind of person he wants each one of us to be. Suggested prayer: Dear God, please reveal to me any areas in my life—any areas of immaturity and weaknesses—that I need to face and resolve so that I will become whole and healthy and so that all my relationships will be wholesome and healthy, and bring glory to you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.
- Joshua 1:8
**************************************
WORD FOR THE DAY: yips • YIPS • noun : a state of nervous tension affecting an athlete (as a golfer) in the performance of a crucial action Example sentence: Afflicted with a sudden case of the yips , Doug tensed up and pulled his putt too far to the left. "[Texas manager Ron] Washington's team has the yips , pure and simple. The Rangers can't string together hits. Their young bullpen has been a nightmare, as the eighth inning last night underlined. A parade of relievers walked the Giants around the bases, surrendered base-clearing blasts, turned a tight game into a laugher." -- From an article by Sam Donnellon in the Philadelphia Daily News , October 29, 2010 ************************************** According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.
The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.
The vibration stopped immediately.
A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.
**********************
Being able to look on the bright side of life was something I always admired about my grandfather. Even after receiving the terrible diagnosis that he had Alzheimer's, he was philosophical. "There's one good thing that'll come from this," he told my father. "What's that?" asked Dad. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." ****************** OFFICER (as Private Atkins worms his way toward the enemy)—"You fool! Come back at once!" TOMMY—"No bally fear, sir! There's a hornet in the trench."—Punch. ********************** The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?!" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast!" ***************************** A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr.
Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.
His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before.
"Is that so?" the first said.
"Did he do a good job?" "Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said.
"The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach.
That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt." ************************************** THINGS TO PONDER: Just before someone gets nervous do they experience cocoons in their stomachs? CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.
The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.
- Randy K. Milholland
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
- Indira Gandhi Partying is such sweet sorrow.
- Robert Byrne "What lies behind us, and what lies
before us are small matters
compared to what lies within us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson ************************** TODAY'S PET TIP How Healthy is Your Dog
There are several signs that may indicate a problem with your dog. It is important to recognize what they are and have your pet evaluated. Problem signs include a lack of appetite, decreased activity, weakness, changes in water consumption, not grooming, bad breath, sleeping more, drooling, vomiting, diarrhea, coughing, trouble breathing, frequent urinations or bloody urinations. Watch your dog carefully for any sign of illness. If you notice any of these signs in your dog, please contact your veterinarian or veterinary emergency clinic as soon as possible. **************************** Fanny Fanwick's Famous Pot Roast This famous pot roast recipe has been enjoyed by five generations! Serves: 8
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 2 1/2 hours 3 to 4 pounds beef brisket
3 pounds onions, chopped
1 16 ounce can tomato sauce
bay leaf
salt, to taste
garlic, to taste
1 cup water Place brisket in large pot on top of stove. Add the rest of the ingredients. Simmer for about two and a half hours until soft. The gravy tastes like onion soup and can be the liquid ingredient for Kasha (see box instructions) with varnishkes (or elbow macaroni). Tip--Cook a day ahead, cool, slice, refrigerate overnight, skim fat and reheat.
***************************************
Some dogs are very destructive with their toys. Even dogs that are generally pretty good can be VERY destructive sometimes. This can be a very annoying behavior if you are the dog owner buying the toys they destroy. What is equally annoying is that many dogs quit playing with their toys after they get the squeaker out or the toys quit squeaking. Why do dogs do this? Our theory goes back to nature. When dogs hunted for prey, they would hunt and kill. Their prey would squeak or make noises. This was part of their natural hunting instinct. Once caught, the prey made noises as the dog proceeded with the kill, which can be very satisfying to a hungry dog.?When the prey was dead - the squeaking stopped. A squeaky toy can give a dog the same type of satisfaction. ****************************** Brownie Ice Cream Cake Make a delicious fudgy and frosty ice cream cake. It's easy to make and a fraction of the cost of frozen desserts you buy in stores. 1 box Betty Crocker fudge brownie mix
Water, vegetable oil and eggs called for on brownie mix box
1/2 gallon (8 cups) vanilla ice cream, slightly softened
1 cup hot fudge topping, warmed if desired
2 tablespoons Betty Crocker Decorating Decors candy sprinkles
16 red maraschino cherries with stems, drained
Heat oven to 350°F. Line 2 (9-inch) round cake pans with foil; grease bottoms only with shortening or cooking spray.
Make brownie batter directed on box. Divide batter evenly between pans. Bake 19 to 22 minutes or until toothpick inserted 2 inches from side of pan comes out almost clean. Cool completely in pans, about 1 hour. Do not remove from pans.
Spread slightly softened ice cream evenly on brownies in pans. Freeze at least 2 hours or until ice cream is firm.
Remove desserts from pans; remove foil. Place on serving plates. Cut each dessert into 8 wedges. Drizzle each wedge with hot fudge topping. Decorate with candy sprinkles and cherries. Store covered in freezer. Tip
Set up a dessert bar with ice cream toppings and syrups as well as extras like fresh strawberries, sliced bananas, chopped nuts and candies. Variation
For a thicker brownie crust, use 2 (8-inch) round cake pans; bake 24 to 26 minutes and top with 6 cups of softened ice cream. Substitution
Use your favorite flavor of ice cream or a combination of ice creams to make this frozen dessert. Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Serving)Calories 380(Calories from Fat 130),Total Fat 15g(Saturated Fat 7g,Trans Fat 0g),Cholesterol 40mg;Sodium 230mg;Total Carbohydrate 56g(Dietary Fiber 2g,Sugars 41g),Protein 4g;Percent Daily Value*:Calcium ;Exchanges:1 Starch;0 Fruit;2 1/2 Other Carbohydrate;0 Skim Milk;0 Low-Fat Milk;0 Milk;0 Vegetable;0 Very Lean Meat;0 Lean Meat;0 High-Fat Meat;3 Fat;Carbohydrate Choices:4;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet *********************** Escarole & White Bean Soup 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 cup halved cherry tomatoes
1/2 cup finely chopped celery
1/2 cup finely chopped carrot
1/4 cup chopped garlic
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning or 1 tablespoon each chopped fresh basil and oregano
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
2 14-ounce cans vegetable broth or reduced-sodium chicken broth
2 15-ounce cans cannellini beans, rinsed
1 head escarole, chopped
1/2 cup freshly shredded hard Italian cheese, such as Parmesan, Romano or Asiago
Directions
Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion, tomatoes, celery, carrot, garlic, Italian seasoning and pepper and cook, stirring often, until the vegetables are beginning to soften and the onion is translucent, about 10 minutes. Add broth, bring to a simmer, and cook, stirring often, until the vegetables are tender. Stir in beans and escarole and cook, stirring often, until the escarole is just tender, about 5 minutes. Serve with a sprinkle of cheese.
************************ Sugarplums Yield: About 4-1/2 dozen 1 cup raisins
1 cup bite-size pitted prunes
1 cup dates
1 cup currants
1 cup candied cherries, dried cherries, or dried cranberries
1 cup walnuts
1/2 to 3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
granulated sugar Using a meat grinder or a food processor, grind the fruit and nuts and mix well. Work into the mixture as much confectioners' sugar as it takes to form 1-inch balls. Roll in granulated sugar, then place on a rack to dry for 24 hours. ************************* The Ultimate Nutcracker Sweet Make these nutcracker sweets (aka nut tarts) part of your family's
holiday celebration! 1/2 cup pecans, coarsely chopped and toasted
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 egg
1/3 cup ligh corn syrup
2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup flaked coconut, toasted
3 tablespoons macadamia nuts, coarsely chopped and toasted
3 ounches dark chocolate, melted Place half of the toasted pecans in blender or food processor. Cover
and blend until ground. Set aside both the ground pecans and chopped
pecans. For crust, in large mixing bowl, beat 1/2 cup butter with mixer on
medium for 30 seconds. Add 1/4 cup brown sugar and 1/2 teaspoon
vanilla. Beat until fluffy. Beat in flour. Stir in ground pecans.
Using hands, knead the flour mixture to make a dough. Shape dough
into a ball. Preheat oven to 350F degrees. Grease twelve individual fluted tart
pans and set aside. On lightly floured surface, roll dough (half at
a time) until 1/8-inch thick. Using a 4 inch round cutter, cut dough
into circles and reroll scraps as necessary. You'll need 12 circles
total. Carefully transfer each dough circle to individual tart pan.
Press dough into pans, trim edges and set aside. In medium bowl, lightly beat egg. Stir in corn syrup. Add 2
tablespoons brown sugar, 2 tablespoons melted butter and 1/2 teaspoon
vanilla. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Set egg mixture aside. In small bowl, stir together reserved chopped pecans, flaked coconut,
and macadamia nuts. Divide nut mixture evenly among tart pans.
Place tart pans on large baking sheet. Pour egg mixture evenly over
nut mixture in tart pans. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until filling is puffed and pastry is
golden. Cool completely in pans on wire rack. To serve, use sharp
knife to remove cooled tarts from pans. Drizzle with melted dark
chocolate. ************************ Banana Banana Bread "Why compromise the banana flavor? This banana bread is moist and delicious with loads of banana flavor! Friends and family love my recipe and say it's by far the best! It's wonderful toasted!! Enjoy!" PREP TIME 15 Min
COOK TIME 1 Hr 5 Min
READY IN 1 Hr 20 Min
Original recipe yield 1 - 9x5 inch loaf INGREDIENTS 2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs, beaten
2 1/3 cups mashed overripe bananas
DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
In a large bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt. In a separate bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar. Stir in eggs and mashed bananas until well blended. Stir banana mixture into flour mixture; stir just to moisten. Pour batter into prepared loaf pan.
Bake in preheated oven for 60 to 65 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean. Let bread cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack. ************************* Stollen - Sweet Christmas Tea Bread
Stollen is a German tradition and their version of the Christmas fruitcake. Marzipan is used in this recipe to create a very rich and moist cake. Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 40 minutes Ingredients: * * * * Stollen Fruits * * * * Scant 1/2 cup (21/2 oz) (70g) Golden raisins
Heaping 1/4 cup (2oz) (60g)Raisins
1/4 cup (1 3/4 oz) (50g) Candied mixed peel
4 teaspoons (3/4 fl oz) (20g) Rum, brandy, or fruit juice
7 oz (200g) Total * * * * The marzipan * * * * 7 tablespoons (2oz) (60g) Ground almonds
5 teaspoons (3/4 oz) (20g) Superfine sugar
8 teaspoons (3/4 oz) (20g) Confectioner’s sugar
4 teaspoons (3/4 oz) (20g) Beaten egg
1/2 cup (120g) Total * * * * The stollen dough * * * * 1 scant cup (7oz) (200g) Stollen Fruits (from above)
1 3/4 cups (12 1/2 oz) (360g) Basic Bread Dough
1/2 cup (4 1/4 oz) (120g) Marzipan (from above)
1lb 8oz (680g) Total
Beaten egg, to glaze
Melted butter
Confectioner’s sugar for dusting
Preparation:
Place the fruit in a small bowl or strong plastic bag and pour the rum, brandy, or juice over it (you can be more generous with the rum if you feel inclined). It is best to do this a few hours before making the stollen or even overnight. Stir the fruit through with your fingers or shake the bag periodically to help the liquid to soak in.
Mix these ingredients together to make a firm paste suitable for rolling on the work surface. It is a good idea to make this the day before and store it in a plastic bag in the refrigerator. Using two types of sugar may seem a bore, but with just one or the other the marzipan becomes either too gritty or too smooth. If you don’t have any confectioner’s sugar handy, whiz up the total quantity of ordinary sugar in a blender or coffee grinder to reduce its grittiness.
If you have been generous with the rum to soak your fruit, your largesse is now rewarded. Drain any excess liquid from the fruit and enjoy a cup of anticipatory good cheer. Fold the drained fruit gently into the prepared festive bread dough after it has had its hour of bulk fermentation, trying not to break up its structure completely but aiming to distribute the fruit reasonably evenly. You may need to use another 2 to 4 tablespoons of flour to dust your hands and the work surface as you fold the fruit into the dough. Having done so, relax the dough (and yourself, perhaps) for 10 minutes. Using a light dusting of flour on the work surface and your rolling pin, roll the marzipan into a rectangle about 83/6 inches (203/15 cm). Then roll or stretch the dough out to make a rectangle very slightly larger than the marzipan. Place the marzipan on the dough, press down gently and then roll the whole thing up like a jellyroll, finishing with the seam underneath the resulting log. Transfer to a baking tray lined with baking parchment. Brush the stollen thoroughly with beaten egg, being careful not to leave any tide marks around the edge. Cover loosely and put in a warm place to prove, making sure that the cover cannot come into contact with the dough. When the stollen is proofed, bake in a moderate oven 350°F (180°C) for 30–40 minutes, until it is golden brown all over. As soon as it is out of the oven, brush it liberally with melted butter, then leave to cool. Sprinkle all over with confectioner’s sugar and, if you like, decorate your stollen with a red ribbon. Simple confectioner’s sugar will soak quite quickly into the surface of the stollen (you can be sure that the everlasting dusting on commercial stollen with a long shelf life is fortified with strange additives). The traditional remedy is to dust your stollen afresh with confectioner’s sugar just before serving. Some traditional German products are sold with a little sachet of sugar for just this purpose. ****************************** God Bless little old ladies!
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car..
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it?
'Heavens no, we bought it.'
'Then why don't you drive it away.'
We can't drive.'
Then why did you buy it?'
'We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed ...so we're just waiting. **************************** Senior Love.......
I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite.
I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few
seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.
I tried this a few more times with no success. All the while, my wife Karen is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yelled to me,
'You need a piece of tail.'
I turned with a confused look on my face and said,
'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'
****************************** The Four Agreements
~by Don Miguel Ruiz 1. Be Impeccable
With Your Word 2. Don't Take Anything
Personally
3. Don't Make
Assumptions 4. Always Do
Your Best
******************************************
CHRISTMAS RIDDLES What do elves learn in school?
[The Elf-abet!]
What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
[It was already wound up.]
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
[Its true, Comet cleans sinks!]
How many reindeer does Santa Have???
[10 (named below)
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudoph (the one with the red nose)
Olive (Olive the other reindeer {all of})]
Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?
[No, you can have turkey like everyone else.]
What nationality is Santa Claus?
[North Polish.]
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
[Sandy Claws!]
What kind of bird can write?
[A PENguin.]
Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
[Because the angel had said,"No L!"]
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
[The turkey, he is always stuffed.]
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
[Claustrophobic.]
Judge: "What are you charged with?"
Prisoner: "Doing my Christmas shopping early."
Judge: "That's not an offense. How early were you doing this shopping?"
Prisoner: "Before the store opened."
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ?
[Santa Clues!]
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. Clerk: "What denomination?"
Woman: "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic."
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
[Jungle bells, jungle bells...]
What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
[Pour Santa flush on him.]
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
[Snowflakes.]
Q: What does Father Christmas write on his cards at Christmas?
A: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (no-L)
What's the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
[Your teeth.]
Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
[Because it has long-distance runners on each side.]
What are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
[They both drop their needles.]
Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
[because every buck is dear to him.]
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
[Fleece Navidad!]
What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
[Crisp Cringle.]
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
[You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.]
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas Tree?
[A pineapple.]
What did the guest sing at the Eskimo Christmas Party?
[Freeze a jolly good fellow...]
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
[It's Christmas, Eve!]
What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
[We'll have a boo Christmas without you.]
What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
[Okay everyone, sack time!!]
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
[Missletoe!]
If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
[A subordinate claus.]
Just before Christmas, there was an honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa
Claus travelling in a lift of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened
they all noticed a $5 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up??
[Santa of course, the other two don't exist!]
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
[The letter "D"!]
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
[So he can ho-ho-ho.]
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
[Because he had low elf esteem.]
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
[Frostbite.]
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Holly
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
[Ribbon hood.]
The 3 stages of man:
1) He believes in Santa Claus.
2) He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
3) He is Santa Claus.
What if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?
[They would have asked directions,
arrived on time,
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole,
and brought practical gifts.]
One Christmas I got a battery with a note saying, "Toy not included."
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell.
Doctor: Take these pills and if they don't work, give me a ring.
Patient: Doctor, I'm scared of Father Christmas.
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Merry Christmas.
Q: How do cats greet each other at Christmas?
A: Have a furry merry Christmas and a Happy Mew Year.
Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: A merry Christmas to Ewe.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPES
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Think of Me. Look at Me often and unconsciously you will grow like Me." -- GOD “And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.†LUKE 2:8-11 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Love Never Fails
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."1
Michael Josephson in Character Counts tells the story about Todd, "a sadly quiet 11-year-old struggling to adjust to the death of his mother. His father left long ago and he was living with an aunt who made it known that she resented the responsibility of caring for him. On several occasions Sheryl, the boy's teacher, heard the aunt tell Todd, 'If it weren't for my generosity you would be a homeless orphan.' "Sheryl took extra pains to make Todd feel valued and she encouraged his interest in making things. Just before the Christmas break, Todd shyly presented her with a small decorated box he'd made. "'It's beautiful,' Sheryl gushed. "Todd replied, 'There's something very special inside that my mom gave to me before she died. She said it's the one thing I can give and still have plenty left. It helps you feel better when you're sad, and safe when you're scared.' "As Sheryl started to open the box, Todd warned her, 'Oh, you can't see it.' "'Well, what is it?' Sheryl asked kindly. "'It's love. And you're the first person since my mom that I love.' "Sheryl hugged Todd tightly and said, 'I'll treasure this forever. It's the best gift I ever got.' "She kept it on her desk until she retired and touched it whenever she was sad or scared. It never failed to make her heart smile. "Years later, Todd sent her the tassel he wore during his graduation from medical school. It's been in the box ever since. "In truth, it's love, not diamonds, that's the gift that keeps on giving. What's more, love generates itself. The more you give away, the more you have left."2 Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be a more thoughtful, gracious, understanding and loving person. Help me in some way to communicate your love to every life I touch. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." 1. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV). Luke 2:6-7 “While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.â€
Therefore, behold, I will proceed to do a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder: for the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hid.
- Isaiah 29:14
************************ WORD FOR THE DAY: ekphrasis • EK-fruh-sis • noun
: a literary description of or commentary on a visual work of art Example sentence:
As an assignment for her Rhetoric & Composition class, Samantha wrote an ekphrasis on the theme of emotional isolation in the paintings of Edward Hopper. "As a genre, ekphrasis attempts to describe the painted image of Medusa, to put the other that Medusa is into words. Starting from Shelley’s poem, Mitchell proposes that ekphrasis is at once a minor and obscure genre (through which images are rendered verbally) and the principle of poetic art: poetry makes us ‘see’ literary images." -- From Anca Parvulescu's 2010 book Laughter: Notes on a Passion ************************ QUOTES : Joe E. Lewis
"There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty." Bill Vaughan
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them." Lucille Ball
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." "Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper."
- Robert Frost Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions, which move with him like flies on a summer day.
- Bertrand Russell It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.
- James Thurber The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
- Doug Larson
************************* Two Passengers lolling in deck-chairs on the Queen Mary were boasting to each other of their prowess as salesmen. "I'm from Schenectady," said one, "and you may not believe it, but the day before we sailed, I sold General Electric fifty thousand dollars' worth of cardboard boxes." "What's that?" deprecated the other. "Nothing! I'll tell you about me. I run a clothing store in Glens Falls. The day before we sailed, a woman came in to buy a suit to bury her husband in?d I sold her an extra pair of pants."
*************************
A man goes to a bar and he ties his Great Dane up outside. About 10 minutes later a lady comes in and asks whos Great Dane is outside. "Mine" says the man. "My dog has just killed him", she says. "What breed is your dog?" he asks. "A Chiuahua", she says. "How can a Chiuahua kill a Great Dane?" "He got caught in his throat!!!" *************************** Several elderly nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out. They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window. After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old? The nun Replied, "Nah, don't you know old habits are hard to break!! *********************** A man calls his family doctor: man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help. man: Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her.
***********************
A man in a swimming pool was on the very top diving board.
He poised, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, "Don't dive ? there's no water in that pool!" "That's all right," said the man.
"I can't swim!" ************************ Double-Apricot Glazed Ham Serves: 32
Prep. time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 120 1 cup dried apricots
1 cup Swanson Chicken Broth (regular, Natural Goodnessâ„¢ or Certified Organic)
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
6- to 8- lb. fully-cooked whole boneless ham *
2 tbsp. butter or margarine
1/2 cup finely chopped shallots
2 jars (12 oz. each) apricot preserves
1/4 cup Dijon-style mustard
2 tsp. grated orange rind
PLACE apricots and broth in microwave-safe measuring cup. Microwave on HIGH for 2 min. Let cool. Remove apricots and cut into strips. Reserve broth. Mix apricots, sugar and 1/4 cup reserved broth. PLACE ham in roasting pan. Bake at 325°F. for 2 hr. or until thermometer registers 140°F. Top with apricot mixture during last 30 min. of baking, basting frequently with pan drippings. HEAT butter in medium skillet over medium heat. Add shallots and cook until tender. Add preserves, mustard, orange rind and remaining reserved broth. Heat to a boil. Cook over low heat 10 min. or until slightly thickened. SLICE ham and serve with apricot sauce. TIP: *Use 3-lb. fully-cooked half boneless ham for 16 servings. Prepare as above, but reduce remaining ingredients in half and cooking time to 1 hr. or until thermometer registers 140°F.
********************** Layered Pizza Dip
Prep Time 10 Minutes
Total Time 25 Minutes
Makes 2 cups
1 (8-oz.) container soft cream cheese with chives and onions
1/2 cup chunky pizza sauce
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
1/3 cup finely chopped pepperoni
2 oz. (1/2 cup) shredded mozzarella cheese
2 oz. (1/2 cup) shredded Cheddar cheese
Heat oven to 350°F. In ungreased 9-inch pie pan or 1 to 1 1/2-quart baking dish, layer all ingredients in order listed.
Bake at 350°F. for 10 to 15 minutes or until dip is hot and cheese is melted.
Serve warm with bagel crisps, bagel chips or crackers.
*******************
Nana’s Creole Pecan Cake Bars These decadent pecan date bars are a bite-size alternative to holiday pecan pie. "We love this recipe so much that friends and family want to try it many other ways. So far the original is king but replacing the raisins with tart dry cherries, adding one cup of semi-sweet chocolate chunks and reducing the pecans to 2 cups Ingredients
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups packed light brown sugar
3 large eggs, at room temperature (see Tip)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
3 cups chopped pecans
1 cup raisins, preferably golden
1 cup finely chopped pitted dates
Preparation
Preheat oven to 300°F. Coat the bottom and sides of a large (17-by-12-inch) baking sheet with cooking spray, then line with parchment paper.
Sift flour, baking powder and salt together in a medium bowl.
Cream butter and sugar in a mixing bowl with an electric mixer on medium-high speed. Add eggs one at a time and beat until creamy. Add vanilla and beat until combined.
Add half the flour mixture to the creamed mixture and stir until well combined. Add cinnamon and nutmeg; stir until blended into the mixture completely. Add pecans, raisins and dates to the rest of the flour mixture. (Coating the dried fruit and nuts helps distribute them in the mix.) Stir the flour-coated fruit and nuts into the batter. Do not overstir. Evenly spread the batter into the prepared baking pan with a spatula. (Coat the spatula with cooking spray, if necessary, to make spreading easier.)
Bake for 45 minutes. Run a knife around the edges of the pan to loosen the sides. Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 45 minutes. Invert onto a large cutting board and remove the parchment.
Cut into 48 squares. Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Store airtight for up to 3 days or freeze for up to 3 months. | Equipment: 17-by-12-inch baking sheet, parchment paper
Tip: To bring an egg to room temperature, set it on the counter for 15 minutes or submerge it (in the shell) in a bowl of lukewarm (not hot) water for 5 minutes. Nutrition
Per bar: 132 calories; 7 g fat (2 g sat, 3 g mono); 18 mg cholesterol; 17 g carbohydrates; 9 g added sugars; 1 g protein; 1 g fiber; 43 mg sodium; 90 mg potassium. 1 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 1 carbohydrate (other), 1 1/2 fat **************************** Seafood Chowder Casserole New England seafood chowder inspired the flavors here, but we’ve enhanced them further with Gruyère cheese and a crispy crumb topping. We like the combination of shrimp, cod and crab, but feel free to experiment with other types of seafood—scallops, clams and mahi-mahi would also work well. 8 servings
Active Time: 1 hour 10 minutes
Total Time: 1 3/4 hours Ingredients
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon canola oil, divided
2 cups sliced leeks, rinsed (about 2 small)
1 cup sliced celery
2 large white potatoes (about 1 3/4 pounds), peeled and cut into 3/4-inch pieces
2 cups seafood stock or clam juice (see Note)
2 teaspoons Old Bay seasoning, divided
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1 cup low-fat milk
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 pound raw shrimp (21-25 count), peeled, deveined and chopped (about 2 cups; see Tip)
12 ounces diced Pacific cod or other firm white fish (see Note)
8 ounces pasteurized crabmeat, preferably jumbo, drained
2 cups shredded Gruyère cheese, divided
2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill or 2 teaspoons dried, divided
1/2 cup coarse whole-wheat breadcrumbs (see Note) Preparation
Preheat oven to 400°F. Coat a 9-by-13-inch (or similar 3-quart) baking dish with cooking spray.
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add leeks and celery and cook, stirring often, until the leeks are softened, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in potatoes, stock (or clam juice), 1 teaspoon Old Bay and pepper. Cover and bring to a simmer over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, covered, until the potatoes are just tender, 6 to 8 minutes.
Whisk milk, flour and mustard in a measuring cup. Stir into the potato mixture, increase heat to medium-high and bring to a simmer, stirring constantly. Stir in shrimp and fish and return to a simmer, stirring often; cook until the seafood is just cooked through, about 3 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in crab, 1 1/2 cups Gruyère and half the dill.
Transfer the seafood mixture to the prepared baking dish. Mix breadcrumbs with the remaining 1 teaspoon each oil and Old Bay. Stir in the remaining 1/2 cup Gruyère and the remaining dill. Sprinkle the breadcrumb mixture over the casserole.
Bake the casserole until it is bubbling and golden brown, 20 to 30 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.
Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Bake the casserole, let cool for 1 hour, cover and refrigerate for up to 1 day; let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes, then reheat at 400°F for 40 minutes.
Ingredient notes: Bottled clam juice can be very high in sodium. We like Bar Harbor brand, which has 120 mg sodium per 2-ounce serving. Look for it in the canned-fish section or the seafood department of your supermarket.
Pacific cod, a.k.a. Alaska cod, is sustainably fished and has a larger, more stable population, according to Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch (seafoodwatch.org).
We like Ian’s brand of coarse dry whole-wheat breadcrumbs, labeled “Panko breadcrumbs.†Find them in the natural-foods section of large supermarkets. To make your own, trim crusts from firm sandwich bread. Tear the bread into pieces and process in a food processor until coarse crumbs form. (To make fine dry breadcrumbs, process until very fine.) Spread on a baking sheet and bake at 250°F until dry, about 10 to 15 minutes. One slice of bread makes about 1/3 cup dry breadcrumbs.
Tip: To peel shrimp, grasp the legs and hold onto the tail while you twist off the shell. To devein shrimp, use a paring knife to make a slit along the length of the shrimp. Under running water, remove the dark tract with the knife tip.
Nutrition
Per serving: 377 calories; 12 g fat (6 g sat, 4 g mono); 162 mg cholesterol; 31 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 35 g protein; 3 g fiber; 571 mg sodium; 683 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Calcium (39% daily value), Iron (22% dv), Potassium & Vitamin C (20% dv), Vitamin A (17% dv), Magnesium & Zinc (16% dv). 2 Carbohydrate Serving ************************** Mississippi Spiced Pecans Make plenty of these mildly sweet and salty nuts—they are great to have on hand over the holidays. Makes: 4 cups
Active Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutes Ingredients 1 pound pecan halves
1 tablespoon packed dark brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/2 teaspoon piment d'Espelette, (see Tip) or a pinch of cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil Preparation Preheat oven to 350°F.
Spread pecans on a large baking sheet. Roast until fragrant, about 12 minutes. Watch carefully so they don’t burn.
Combine brown sugar, salt, thyme, rosemary, pepper and piment d’Espelette (or cayenne) in a small bowl. Transfer the roasted pecans to a large bowl, drizzle with oil and toss well to coat completely. Sprinkle with the spice mixture and toss again. Serve warm or let cool completely and store in an airtight container. Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Store in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks. Tip: Piment d'Espelette is a sweet, mildly spicy chile pepper from the Basque region of France, ground into a powder. Find it online at spanishtable.com. Nutrition
Per 2-tablespoon serving: 107 calories; 11 g fat (1 g sat, 6 g mono); 0 mg cholesterol; 2 g carbohydrates; 1 g protein; 1 g fiber; 53 mg sodium; 58 mg potassium. Exchanges: 2 fat ************************* How to Feel Happy During a Cold Winter
Have you ever noticed how bad weather seems to drag the spirit down with it? There's nothing you can do about the weather, but there are various things you can do to keep your spirits up until spring. Steps 1 Find things to enjoy about winter. A snowy, icy, cold, or rainy world can be beautiful and often has sounds and smells all its own. If you're an artist, photographer, or craftsperson, winter provides a great deal of inspiration and different colors to work with. Even if you don't feel that creative, simply watching a winter scene from the comfort of your home can be a pleasant way to relax and enjoy the peace. 2 Take part in winter activities. Enjoy skiing, sledding, or ice skating. Visit someplace nearby while the summer crowds are gone.
If you're a beginner to snow sports, try learning in areas where you won't be worried about more experienced people crowding you out. Local parks and quiet cross country or downhill ski circuits are ideal starting points to encourage you to get out and give new winter sports a go.
Making snow-men, snow-huts, and snow-lanterns are fun activities for both kids and adults.
3 Wear layers. Furry hoods are optional.
Stay warm. Whether that means sitting by the fire, snuggling up with a loved one or pet, piling on the blankets, or having a warm drink, keep yourself warm. The best way to stay warm all the time is to wear layers of suitable clothes, especially woolen long-johns, undershirts, and sweaters. And don't neglect your feet – woolen socks and slippers are a must-have for keeping you toasty warm all winter.
Remember: a significant proportion of body heat is lost through your head - so now is the time to whip out your most fashionable winter hats, berets, earmuffs, headbands, shawls, and other accessories.
4 Find something to do besides stew about the weather. This would be a great time to read that book that's been on your list—or even write it. Play cards, clean the house, cook up a big pot of soup, take up a hobby, or knit another warm sweater. It's also a good time to sort photos, computer files, fabric stashes, and anything else that has accumulated over the other months of the year.
Go to the movies more frequently.
Visit museums, art galleries, astronomy observatories, food-making facilities (e.g., chocolate, cheese, etc.), and while away the cold hours in their heated rooms learning something new.
Use indoor sports facilities such as rock-climbing walls, squash courts, badminton halls, etc.
Read How to keep kids entertained in winter for ideas on keeping children happy in winter. 5 Brighten up. Winter comes with the shortest days and lowest light of the year. Go out if you can. If you can't, or if you're so far north as to have little or no daylight, use full-spectrum lights, light or white walls, and perhaps some vibrant accent colors.
Learn how to make winter window decorations. 6 Stay active. As much as possible, get yourself outside. Bundle up and take at least a short walk. If the weather does not permit, move around inside. Walk up and down your stairs if you have them. Do a workout tape or use that treadmill or stair machine that is gathering dust. Exercise gets your body temperature up and your blood flowing. It also regulates such things as sleep and diet. Move around at least a bit each day.
If you have a dog, keep walking him during winter. It will do both of you the world of good and it's a regular routine that helps to get you outside exercising. Read How to keep dogs warm in the winter for tips on keeping your dog warm when walking.
See How to jog in cold weather, How to walk in the winter and How to keep running during snow season for lots of helpful winter exercise tips. 7 Browse seed catalogs and plan your garden. There's nothing quite as promising as the idea that spring is around the corner. You could even start some plants indoors under artificial light.
See How to grow winter salads and How to winter sow seeds outdoors for more ideas.
Take a walk in your garden or the local park and spotting how the wildlife survives and how the plants are coping. You might like to try identifying trees in winter as well. 8 Canned or dried fruits and vegetables can stand in part time if there is not much fresh produce locally.
Eat properly. You may tend to eat more in winter, whether because of holidays or because your body craves more energy. Either way, try to keep a balanced diet including whatever fruits and vegetables (dried or canned if necessary) you can. Try not to overdo it on the sugars and starch.
Choose your carbohydrates wisely. It's natural to crave them during colder months and it's important to consume complex carbohydrates (fruits, vegetables and enriched wholegrains) over processed food.[1]
Maintain your vitamin intake. Vitamin B is important, especially folate, to help stop you feeling the blues; this in foods such as lentils, peas, and spinach.[2]
Ensure that your intake of foods rich in tryptophan is increased because this is the amino acid required to manufacture serotonin, the neurotransmitter that helps you to feel good. Suitable foods include bananas, poultry, dairy produce, and peas.[3]
Keep up your intake of omega-3 fatty acids to help fight off the blues, eating such foods as cold-water fish and flaxseed and walnuts.[4]
Avoid any foods that cause you to feel sluggish, such as highly processed foods, saturated fats, and sugary foods. These can worsen any blues because they cause you to feel lethargic and often result in a crash after the initial energy burst. In addition, be careful with aspartame as it can interfere with serotonin functioning and leave you feeling moodier; if you notice any reactions to it, avoid consuming it.[5] 9 Keep in touch. Call friends or make new ones. If you regularly attend club meetings, church, or other activities, try not to interrupt your routine just for bad weather. If transportation is a challenge for you, link up with friends or helpful people who can give you a ride to and from your usual activities. 10 Remember that, without winter, no one would appreciate and love the summer so much. People manage to draw a lot of inspiration from winter, including spending more family together and using this as a chance to increase skills that will be useful when the weather warms up. Some people even choose to use winter to celebrate important life events, such as getting married in the snow. Whatever your take on winter, in contrast to our ancestors for many previous centuries, our modern lifestyle helps us to keep warm, travel safely, and continue life with a good amount of comfort during winter seasons, all sound reasons for finding something good about living through the coldest months. Tips
Remember that winter has its benefits. It may bring needed precipitation to an area. Some plants require a certain amount of cold to grow flowers or fruit the following year.
Plan a mid-winter trip to get you away from the cold for a week or two. This can lift your spirits dramatically and will make getting through the rest of winter a breeze.
Be happy that at least it isn't hot: you might be freezing your but off right now, but people on the other side of the world are sweating bucketfuls :) Warnings
If you're suffering badly, you might have seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which affects around half a million people in the United States yearly.[6] Seek advice from your doctor to help you overcome the winter blues.
Avoid overdoing the alcohol and caffeine through winter. These can cause you to feel tired, which in turn can lead you to feel moodier about the elements and lead to exhaustion. *********************** THINGS TO PONDER: If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ********************* Reindeer Jokes for Merry Christmas Reindeer Jokes What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
?Horn?-aments! How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer! What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
She?d go to a ?re-tail?shop for a new one! Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he?s a ?rain?-deer! Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him! Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
?Rude?-olph! What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want because he can?t hear you! What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?
This one will ?sleigh? you! How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-?deer?! What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
?Elk?-a-seltzer! How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the ?deer?-bell! What's red and white and gives presents to gazelles?
Santelope! How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down! Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was ?elf?-taught! Why did Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken! Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they look silly in snowsuits!
Elf jokes How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten!
One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other?s shoulders! Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low ?elf?esteem! How long should an elf's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground! What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
"First, YULE LOGon"! Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log! What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet! Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
Elfis! One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!" How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?" Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPES
How Angels Came To Be Atop The Tree Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had while making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree.
Santa was furious. "I can't believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours - all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?" Just then, the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree. He says "Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?" And thus the tradition of angels atop the Christmas trees came to pass........ **************************** A Cat's 12 Days of Christmas
On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me:
Twelve bags of catnip!
Eleven tarter Pounce treats,
Ten ornaments hanging,
Nine wads of Kleenex,
Eight peacock feathers,
Seven stolen Q-tips,
Six feathered balls,
Five MILK JUG RINGS!
Four munchy house plants,
Three running faucets,
Two fuzzy mousies,
And a hamster in a plastic ball!! *************** A Dog's Rules For Christmas
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.
2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours. 3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers. 4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know: - Don't pee on the tree - Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree - Mind your tail when you are near the tree - If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open - Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree 5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part: - Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans - Don't eat off the buffet table - Beg for goodies subtly - Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa - Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach 6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: - Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important) - Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house - Tolerate children - Turn on your charm big time 7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON'T BITE HIM!! ***********************
Santa Stats There are currently 78 people named S. Claus living in the U.S. -- and one Kriss Kringle. (You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents) December is the most popular month for nose jobs. Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons. Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton s sleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph. Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour. With real beard: $20. To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound. At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously. *********************** FOR MORE GOOD HUMOR I RECOMMEND THIS WEBPAGE
http://www.dezert-rose.com/humor/christmas/catwrapping.html
Tags: Jokes, Riddles, Laughs n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD: John 6:35
“Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.â€
James 1:13-15
(13) Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. (14) But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. (15) Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
This pattern of producing sin began in the Garden of Eden when Satan tempted Adam and Eve by stimulating their desire for the forbidden fruit. From that small beginning, sin entered and blossomed. It is easily seen that every problem produced by immorality, whether individual or national, is caused by allowing temptation to develop into sin. Sin is illicit desire brought to fruition, and everybody from peasant to king is subject to wrong desires.
From the beginning of time, it seems to have been a human instinct to blame others for our sins, just as Adam and Eve did in the Garden. James sternly rebukes that view. God does not cause sin and neither do things. Sin would be helpless if there were nothing in man to which it could appeal. Sin’s appeal is to human nature’s self-centeredness, which then builds through our desires. If a man desires long enough and intensely enough, the consequence—action—is inevitable.
It is because we desire our own way that we dishonor our parents and murder; because we desire a thing, we steal; because we desire being well thought of, we lie. Illicit desire can be nourished, stifled, or by the grace of God, eliminated. If one gives himself to Christ by submitting entirely to God, there is little or no time or place left for evil desire.
The tenth commandment pierces through surface Christianity, truly revealing whether a person has surrendered his will to God or not. The spiritual requirements for keeping this commandment are in some ways more rigid than any other because they pierce right through to the thoughts.
1 John 2:15-16
“[Do Not Love the World] Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.â€why
******************* WORD FOR THE DAY: armisticeAHR-muh-stusDEFINITION
noun : temporary suspension of hostilities by agreement between the opponents : truce
EXAMPLESThe Korean War ended with an armistice signed in July of 1953, though a permanent peace accord was never reached. "Most of us learned in school that WWI ended either with the 1918 armistice agreement or the 1919 Treaty of Versailles. But the Telegraph points out that, technically, the war will not come to a formal conclusion until this Sunday, when Germany makes its final reparation payment." -- From an article by Max Fisher on The Atlantic Wire, September 29, 2010
DID YOU KNOW?"Armistice" descends from Latin "sistere," meaning "to come to a stand" or "to cause to stand or stop," combined with "arma," meaning "weapons." An armistice, therefore, is literally a cessation of arms. Armistice Day is the name that was given to the holiday celebrated in the United States on November 11 before it was renamed Veterans Day by Congress in 1954. The original name refers to the agreement between the Allied Powers and Germany to end hostilities that constituted the first World War, designated to take effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. Other armistices, involving Romania, Bulgaria, Turkey, and Austria-Hungary, were effected on other dates before and after November 11.
*********************
How to Make a Fall Nut Wreath
By Dusty Mills, eHow Member
I want to do this! What's This?
Make a Fall Nut Wreath How to Make a Fall Nut Wreath During the next month or so the fall harvest of nuts will be on the market. Also available will be all the different seed pods that we'll be seeing on many different plants. Combining all the unusual shapes, sizes and colors of the two make for a beautiful arrangement for a fall wreath. Difficulty: Easy Instructions Things You'll Need:
•Variety of nuts in shell
•Variety of seed pods
•Wreath frame
•Glue gun
•Sphagnum or sheet moss
•Small gage paddle wire 1.1 If there are any farmers markets in your area, look for bags of fresh mixed nuts, or even the grocery store carries bulk nuts that you can buy. Look for variety and make sure the nuts you choose are whole without blemish. Whole nuts alone make a pretty wreath, but if you combine them with some other interesting shapes, your fall wreath can be spectacular. I found many of the most interesting seed pods from bags of potpourri that I buy for my home. When the potpourri loses it's scent and gets dusty, I pick out all the whole nuts and unusual seed pods and toss the rest. I choose to make my wreath on a metal frame, the kind that is concave in the center. I lined the wreath with sphagnum moss to conceal the frame. Just use small pieces of paddle wire to attach the moss to the frame. 2.2 When your frame is ready, assemble all the nuts and seed pods you want to use. Heat your glue gun. If you have more of one kind of nut than the others, use it to begin the bottom layer of nuts as this first layer won't be seen very much. Save the most interesting seeds and nuts for the top layer. 3.3 Continue to glue all the items you have, remembering to get the sides of the wreath as well. If you'll be hanging this wreath on a glass door, remember to check the back side to make sure it looks pretty too. You may want to add a small accent piece like a few cinnamon sticks or even a pretty piece of ribbon in a fall color. Tips & Warnings
•You may want to use a grapevine wreath as they are easy to find and all the little crevices make it easy to glue items to them. When your ready to exchange the nut wreath for one that is for X-Mas, store the nut wreath in a box somewhere cool.•Do not store any craft item that you have used hot glue on in the attic. The extreme heat during the summer months will melt the glue and you'll have to start all over again! ********************* Campbell's Shortcut Beef Stew In a hurry? Try this dish featuring sautéed tender beef cubes and mixed vegetables simmered briefly in a tomato-onion broth...it's a quick and tasty stew that the whole family will enjoy. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 15 min.
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
1 lb. boneless beef sirloin, 3/4" thick, (about 1 lb.) cut into 1" cubes
1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Tomato Soup
1 can (10 1/2 oz.) Campbell's Condensed French Onion Soup
1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 bag (24 oz.) frozen vegetables for stew, (potatoes, carrots, celery)
Heat the oil in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add the beef and cook until well browned, stirring often. Pour off any fat.
Stir the soups, Worcestershire and vegetables in the skillet and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 10 minutes or until the beef is cooked through and the vegetables are tender.
Easy Substitution: Substitute 5 cups frozen vegetables (carrots, small whole onions, cut green beans, cauliflower, zucchini, peas or lima beans) for the frozen vegetables for stew.
Easy Substitution: Substitute Campbell's Condensed Beefy Mushroom Soup for the French Onion Soup.
********************* How to Make a Nut Wreath Decorate for the holidays this season with this festive homemade nut wreath! A wide variety of nuts is sold at holiday time. Fashion them into this charming decoration especially suitable for Thanksgiving. Materials needed:
1 straw or grapevine wreath form (10 to 12 inches)
an assortment of unshelled walnuts, chestnuts, filberts (hazelnuts), almonds, and brazil nuts
acrylic varnish
brush
wire
glue gun
pine sprigs, ivy, or small grape leaves (optional)
ribbon Directions:
To give the wreath a special sheen, paint the filberts and chestnuts with varnish and set them on a wire rack to dry.
Attach a loop of wire to the back of the wreath form for hanging it when complete.
Glue on the nuts, working slowly around the wreath, making sure they are all secured. Start with the largest nuts—walnuts, chestnuts, and Brazil nuts, and use the smaller filberts and almonds to fill in around them.
Using a glue gun, attach the greens or leaves to the wreath form in between the nuts.
Tie the ribbon into a bow and secure it to the wreath with glue or wire. **************************** A Beautiful Work of Natural Art - NUT WREATH Store-bought wreaths are very pricey, especially wreaths made primary of hard-shelled nuts such as walnuts, hazelnuts, almonds, and almonds. Nuts are not cheap, and when they have been transformed into a beautifulADVERTISEMENT
wreath they are even more expensive, but it is possible to make a wreath with nuts instead of buying the ready-made variety from a store. Try the following easy way to make a wreath with nuts, and make a beautiful work of natural art for an entryway door, a wall, or a fireplace mantel. Necessary Supplies To make a twelve-inch wreath with hard-shelled nuts you will need a twelve-inch flat wooden wreath form. They can be found in major craft stores, many discount stores that sell craft supplies, and online. You will also need one pound of premium walnuts, one-half pound of almonds, one-half pound of hazelnuts, and one-half pound of pecans. Also needed is raffia for creating a bow, a hot glue gun, extra glue sticks, and a can of clear acrylic coating. Would you prefer to make a larger wreath with nuts? Instead of a twelve-inch flat wooden wreath form, purchase a twenty-four inch wreath form, two pounds of premium walnuts, one pound of almonds, one pound of hazelnuts, and one pound of pecans in addition to the raffia, clear acrylic spray, and a hot glue gun with extra glue sticks. Opt for nuts sold in bulk rather than by the bag. This provides the opportunity to pick and choose perfect specimens for crafting. Choose high-quality nuts without chips or obvious cracks, and purchase extras to insure the estimated amount will be enough to make each wreath. Procedure When preparing to make the wreath, it is best to begin with the walnuts since they are the largest. Randomly glue them approximately three inches apart and in varying directions. Also, be sure to glue several walnuts along the sides of the form. *************************** My son, a used-car dealer, showed his customer a 2005 Chevy in great condition. "And it's only $7,000," he told the man. "I'm willing to give you $3,500," said the customer. My son feigned disappointment. "If at all possible," he responded, "I'd like to sell you the whole car." *********************** My son, a used-car dealer, showed his customer a 2005 Chevy in great condition. "And it's only $7,000," he told the man. "I'm willing to give you $3,500," said the customer. My son feigned disappointment. "If at all possible," he responded, "I'd like to sell you the whole car." *********************** There's a grocer who is notorious for his wretched horse flesh. The grocer's boy is rather a reckless driver. He drove one of his master's worst nags a little too hard one day, and the animal fell ill and died. "You've killed my horse, curse you!" the grocer said to the boy the next morning. "I'm sorry, boss," the lad faltered. "Sorry be durned!" shouted the grocer *********************** From a crowd of rah-rah college boys celebrating a crew victory, a policeman had managed to extract two prisoners. "What is the charge against these young men?" asked the magistrate before whom they were arraigned. "Disturbin' the peace, yer honor," said the policeman. "They were givin' their college yells in the street an' makin' trouble generally." "What is your name?" the judge asked one of the prisoners. "Ro-ro-robert Ro-ro-rollins," stuttered the youth. "I asked for your name, sir, not the evidence." *********************** An American tourist, who was stopping in Tokio had visited every point of interest and had seen everything to be seen except a Shinto funeral. Finally she appealed to the Japanese clerk of the hotel, asking him to instruct her guide to take her to one. The clerk was politeness itself. He bowed gravely and replied: "I am very sorry, Madam, but this is not the season for funerals." *********************** Dan Quayle
"For NASA, space is still a high priority." Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Old age is fifteen years older than I am." Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
***********************
Elephant Ears (Palmiers) Make the classic Elephant Ears with 3 simple ingredients; call them "Palmiers" to impress the guests. Yields: 5 1/2 dozen cookies Total Time: 50 min
Prep Time: 35 min
Oven Temp: 450 Ingredients
2 cup(s) granulated sugar
1/8 teaspoon(s) kosher salt
1 package(s) (17 1/4-ounce) frozen puff pastry, thawed (preferably Pepperidge Farm)
Directions
Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Line 2 large cookie sheets with parchment paper. In small bowl, combine sugar and salt; pour 1 cup mixture onto work surface. Unfold 1 sheet puff pastry onto sugar mixture; pour another 1/2 cup mixture on top, spreading it evenly on pastry. With rolling pin, lightly roll dough into 13-inch square, pressing sugar into pastry on top and bottom. Fold two sides of square toward center so edges are halfway to middle. Fold again so the two folds meet exactly at middle of dough. Then fold one half over other half as though closing a book. (You will have 6 layers.) Cut dough crosswise into 3/8-inch-thick slices; place slices, cut side up, 1 inch apart on prepared cookie sheets.
Bake cookies 6 minutes or until caramelized and brown on bottom. With metal spatula, turn cookies over and bake 3 to 5 minutes longer, until caramelized on other side. Transfer cookies to wire rack to cool completely. Place second sheet of pastry on same sugared work surface; sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup sugar mixture. Continue as in steps 2 and 3, reusing cooled cookie sheets as necessary. (There will be quite a bit of sugar left over.) Store cookies in airtight container, with waxed paper between layers, at room temperature up to overnight.
***********************
Savory Pot Roast Nothing says home cooking like this slow-simmered pot roast that turns out tender and tasty, time after time. Serves: 8
Prep. time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 2 hr. 50 minutes
INGREDIENTS: 2 tbsp. vegetable oil
1 boneless beef bottom round roast or chuck pot roast (3 1/2 to 4 lbs.)
1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% FatFree)
1 1/4 cups water
1 envelope (about 1 oz.) dry onion soup & recipe mix
6 medium potatoes, cut into quarters
6 medium carrots, cut into 2" pieces
2 tbsp. all-purpose flour
DIRECTIONS: Heat the oil in a 6-quart saucepot over medium-high heat. Add the beef and cook until well browned on all sides. Pour off any fat.
Stir the mushroom soup, 1 cup water and soup mix in a medium bowl. Add the soup mixture to the saucepot and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 1 hour 30 minutes.
Add the potatoes and carrots to the saucepot. Cover and cook for 1 hour or until the beef is fork-tender and the vegetables are tender. Remove the beef and vegetables to a serving platter.
Stir the flour and remaining water in a small bowl until the mixture is smooth. Stir the flour mixture in the saucepot. Cook and stir until the mixture boils and thickens. Serve the gravy with the beef and vegetables.
RECIPE TIPS
Serving Suggestion: Serve with steamed whole green beans with sliced almonds. For dessert serve chocolate pudding.
*********************** Apple-Oat Cookies Prep time: 40 mins
Total Time: 1hr 30 min
Yield: apprx: 3 dz cookies 3/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 eggs
1 3/4 cups Gold Medal all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups old-fashioned or quick-cooking oats
1 medium apple, peeled and shredded (about 1 cup shredded)
1 cup powdered sugar
2 to 3 tablespoons apple juice or milk
Heat oven to 375°F. Spray cookie sheet with cooking spray. In large bowl, beat butter, granulated sugar and brown sugar with electric mixer on medium speed until creamy. Beat in vanilla and eggs, scraping sides occasionally, until blended.
In medium bowl, mix flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Gradually beat flour mixture into sugar mixture. Stir in oats and apple. Onto cookie sheet, drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls 2 inches apart.
Bake about 10 minutes or until edges are light golden brown. Cool 1 minute; remove from cookie sheet to cooling rack. Cool completely, about 15 minutes.
In medium bowl, beat powdered sugar and apple juice until smooth, using wire whisk or fork. Drizzle over cooled cookies on cooling rack. Let stand about 1 hour or until glaze is set.
Kitchen Tips
For easy cleanup when glazing cookies, place waxed paper or paper towels under the cooling rack.
For fuller cookies and less spread while baking, refrigerate dough between baking batches.
Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Cookie)Calories 130(Calories from Fat 40),Total Fat 4 1/2g(Saturated Fat 2 1/2g,Trans Fat 0g),Cholesterol 20mg;Sodium 100mg;Total Carbohydrate 20g(Dietary Fiber 0g,Sugars 12g),Protein 1g;Percent Daily Value*:Calcium ;Exchanges:0 Starch;0 Fruit;1 1/2 Other Carbohydrate;0 Skim Milk;0 Low-Fat Milk;0 Milk;0 Vegetable;0 Very Lean Meat;0 Lean Meat;0 High-Fat Meat;1 Fat;Carbohydrate Choices:1;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. *********************** MIXED MUSHROOM SOUP 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil or clarified butter
1 pound assorted fresh mushrooms, cut into bite-sized pieces
fine grain sea salt & freshly ground pepper
1 medium yellow onion, finely chopped
1 medium red onion, finely chopped
2-3 tablespoons shoyu or soy sauce
1 1/2 cups cooked pearled barley
6 cups / 1.5 l good-tasting vegetable broth
1/4 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
finely chopped chives, to serve In your largest, widest soup pot heat two tablespoons of olive oil over medium-high heat. Stir in the mushrooms and season with salt and pepper. Cook stirring a couple times along the way, until the mushrooms release their liquid and they are deeply browned. About 8 minutes. Remove the mushrooms from the pan, set aside on a plate.
Using the same pot, heat the remaining tablespoon of oil over medium-high heat. Stir in the onions and cook until tender, a few minutes. Stir 2 tablespoons of the shoyu, barley, and then the vegetable broth. Bring to a simmer, then reduce the heat a bit. Add the mushrooms and cook another 10 minutes or so. Stir in the toasted sesame oil and taste. You might want to add remaining tablespoon of shoyu or soy sauce, particularly if your broth wasn't very salty. And you might want to add more toasted sesame oil a few drops at a time. Just keep tweaking until everything balances out for you. Serve sprinkled with lots of chopped chives.
Serves about six. *********************** Nanna's Baked Ham Yield: 6-8 servings, with leftovers 1 very lean large ham with bone in
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
30 whole cloves
1 can pineapple rings in juice Remove ham from packaging and reserve any juices. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In small saucepan, heat butter until melted and add brown sugar and reserved ham juices and pineapple juice. Bring to slow boil over medium heat and then turn to simmer. Simmer 5 minutes, then set aside. Place ham in roasting pan face-down. With a good sharp knife score the skin in "checkerboard" fashion. On each "square" push one clove into middle of the square. Continue this until outside rind of ham is completely dotted with cloves. With a basting brush, baste the prepared sauce all over ham. Place in oven for 1 hour. Remove ham from oven and baste again. Decorate with pineapple rings and place back in the oven for 1/2 hour. Remove from oven, baste again and serve. ******************************* Is Chewing Gum Toxic to Dogs? - You Need to Know Dear Myra Is chewing gum toxic to dogs? The answer is yes - some of it is! It is actually the sweetener in some chewing gum products that can be toxic. The toxic ingredient is called Xylitol. Many pet owners have no idea about this, so I wanted to make sure all my PetPlace subscribers knew about this. I first found out about this several years ago when a dog got into the owners purse and ate some different vitamins and medications. There were several different pills with complex combinations of minerals, herbs and as well as some heart medications. We were not sure if this particular mix of ingredients was toxic. The owner thought the dog was acting a little funny so she was on her way to the clinic. In the mean time, we called poison control that handles tons of toxic calls about dogs and I asked about that drug combination and their best recommendation for treating the dog. Luckily, it ended up the medications were under the toxic level but in the mean time, the toxicologist asked if was there any chewing gum in the purse.... I put them on hold - and called the owner who said yes there was chewing gum in her purse. She had sugar-free gum in her purse. Some sugar free gum contains an ingredient that can be toxic to dogs - an ingredient called Xylitol. When the owner arrived - the dog was indeed acting a little lethargic. We checked his blood sugar and it was low. This is a common side effect from the Xylitol. I had never heard of this before that phone call. Apparently - they had seen only 1 or 2 cases at the time when I happened to call and they were on the lookout. We were fortunate to get this information and be able to help the dog. That was several years ago. The dog did fine. However, since that time, they have documented several cases and also found that Xylitol cannot only cause a temporary low blood sugar but it can cause liver problems. "Xylitol" is commonly found in sugar-free gum, candies and some baked goods. It seems some pets are more sensitive to it than others. The exact amount that needs to be ingested to cause problems is still being determined. Signs can develop quickly. So yes, something as simple as your dog eating a piece of your gum can create an emergency that can cost hundreds of dollars in vet bills. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODAY'S PET TIP
Encouraging Your Dog to Drink
Proper hydration is crucial in the healing process; however, the ill or painful dog may not be interested in drinking. It is important NOT to force water into your dog, as it could lead to aspiration pneumonia if your dog is not swallowing appropriately.
Listed below are several options to encourage your dog to intake water. 1. Give your dog an ice cube to lick.
2. Allow your dog to lick water from your hand or your finger.
3. Feed canned dog food, as it has a higher water content.
4. Add warm water or low-sodium broth to your dog's food.
5. With your veterinarian's permission, offer small amounts of Pedialyte.
6. Adding an ice cube to the water bowl can encourage some dogs to drink. If your dog is weak and not interested in food or water, see your veterinarian.
****************************** THINGS TO PONDER: If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
You might be a REDNECK if...
...you think Possum is "The Other White Meat"
You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
- Sam Levenson The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.
- Arthur Koestler Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
- Oscar Wilde The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.
- Aesop If mankind minus one were of one opinion, then mankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one - if he had the power - would be justified in silencing mankind.
- John Stuart Mill The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
- Calvin Trillin
**************************** Splinters in the Crotch A woman from Los Angeles, CA who is a tree hugger, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland, near Colville, WA. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a Spotted Owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to Mt. Carmel ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but they turned me down." ~ GOD BLESS AMERICA
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPES
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "You must trust me wholly. This lesson must be learned. Doubt always delays. Are you trusting all to me or not?" -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Healthy Choices Ephesians 5:15-18 NIV: Be very careful, then, how you live?not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord´s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. When I learned I had high cholesterol, I knew changes were going to have to be made. I would need to get proper exercise, and change my diet. I knew if I was going to be serious, some things had to go, while other things must become part of my daily living. As with physical food, there are many spiritual foods to choose from. With what is available, it would be easy for Christians to be saturated with worldly ways through entertainment, books, television, movies, and so on. But, there comes a point when we have to face facts. We are effected by what we put into our minds just as we are by what goes into our bodies. If we are serious about being Christ-like, we will recognize that some things will have to go, while other things will need to become a part of our daily living. Matthew 2:4-6
“When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. “In Bethlehem in Judea,†they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written: “‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.’â€â€ ********************* woolgathering • WOOL-gath-uh-ring • noun
: indulgence in idle daydreaming Example sentence:
My woolgathering was abruptly interrupted by a question from the flight attendant. "Devoted mothers have little time for themselves, and their children have little time for free play, imaginative woolgathering or secret lives of their own, all things that are such an important part of childhood." -- From an article by Barbara Almond, M.D., published November 5, 2010 at psychologytoday.com. ************************* You might be a REDNECK if...
...the UFO hotline limits you to no more than one call per day.
THINGS TO PONDER: What is the funny beep on the radio just before the network news? Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.
- George Jean Nathan If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
- Abraham Maslow This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas ************************** A chemist, a shopkeeper and a teacher were sentenced to death by firing squad.
The chemist was taken from his cell and as the soldiers took aim he shouted "Avalanche!" The soldiers panicked and in the confusion the chemist escaped.
The shopkeeper was led out next.
As the soldiers took aim he shouted "Flood!" and escaped.
The teacher was then lead out.
The squad took aim and the teacher, remenbering how the other two had escaped, shouted "Fire!" ************************** J. Paul Getty
"Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil." Timothy Leary
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." Milton Berle
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
*************************
Banana Banana Bread "Why compromise the banana flavor? This banana bread is moist and delicious with loads of banana flavor! Friends and family love my recipe and say it's by far the best! It's wonderful toasted!! Enjoy!" PREP TIME 15 Min
COOK TIME 1 Hr 5 Min
READY IN 1 Hr 20 Min
Original recipe yield 1 - 9x5 inch loaf INGREDIENTS 2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs, beaten
2 1/3 cups mashed overripe bananas
DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
In a large bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt. In a separate bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar. Stir in eggs and mashed bananas until well blended. Stir banana mixture into flour mixture; stir just to moisten. Pour batter into prepared loaf pan.
Bake in preheated oven for 60 to 65 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean. Let bread cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack. ********************* Layered Peanut Butter Bars Layers of rich peanut butter cookie, peanut butter filling and chocolate frosting beg to be indulged in. Prep Time 20 Minutes
Total Time 2:20 Hrs:Mins
Makes 36 bars Cookie Base
1 pouch (1 lb 1.5 oz) Betty Crocker peanut butter cookie mix
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon water
1 egg Filling
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
2 cups powdered sugar
2 teaspoons milk Frosting
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup butter Heat oven to 350°F. Spray bottom of 13x9-inch pan with cooking spray.
In large bowl, stir all Cookie Base ingredients until soft dough forms. Press dough in bottom of pan using floured fingers. Bake 15 to 18 minutes or until golden brown. Cool completely, about 1 hour.
In small bowl, beat all Filling ingredients with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Spread mixture evenly over cookie base.
In microwavable bowl, microwave all Frosting ingredients on High 30 seconds; stir until smooth. Cool 10 minutes; spread over filling. Refrigerate 30 minutes or until set. For bars, cut into 9 rows by 4 rows.
Variation
If you like the crunch of peanuts, use crunchy peanut butter. Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Bar)Calories 180(Calories from Fat 90),Total Fat 10g(Saturated Fat 4g,Trans Fat 0g),Cholesterol 15mg;Sodium 115mg;Total Carbohydrate 20g(Dietary Fiber 0g,Sugars 15g),Protein 2g;Percent Daily Value*:Calcium ;Exchanges:0 Starch;0 Fruit;1 1/2 Other Carbohydrate;0 Skim Milk;0 Low-Fat Milk;0 Milk;0 Vegetable;0 Very Lean Meat;0 Lean Meat;0 High-Fat Meat;2 Fat;Carbohydrate Choices:1;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. ********************* Italian Soup Gift Basket
Prep Time 15 Minutes
Total Time 15 Minutes
Makes 1 A tisket, a tasket, what fun to receive a gift basket filled with yummy food!
1 package Hamburger Helper lasagna
3 tablespoons instant minced onion
1 can (14 1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes with basil, garlic and oregano
1 can (7 ounces) Green Giant Niblets whole kernel corn Pour contents of sauce mix (from lasagne mix) into 3 1/2-cup jar or quart-size plastic bag. Layer instant minced onion over dry sauce mix. Top with pasta (from lasagne mix). Place lid on jar, or seal plastic bag with colorful ribbon or raffia.
Place soup mix, can of tomatoes and can of corn in gift basket. Include the following directions for making soup. Italian Soup Cook 1 pound ground beef in 4-quart Dutch oven, stirring frequently, until brown; drain. Stir in soup mix, 5 cups hot water, undrained tomatoes and undrained corn. Heat to boiling, stirring occasionally; reduce heat. Cover and simmer 12 to 14 minutes, stirring occasionally, until pasta is tender. Ladle into bowls. Top with grated Parmesan cheese or shredded mozzarella cheese if desired. Makes 6 servings. Special Touch
Serve hearty soups in bread bowls. They make the soup good down to the last bite! Special Touch
Jazz up bowls of soup with a squirt of sour cream. Mmm! Variation
Add a drained can of kidney or great northern beans to boost the nutrition and fiber in this hearty soup. Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Serving)Calories 330 (Calories from Fat 110 ),Total Fat 12 g(Saturated Fat 4 g,Cholesterol 65 mg;Sodium 1010 mg;Total Carbohydrate 37 g(Dietary Fiber 2 g,Protein 20 g;Percent Daily Value*:Calcium ;Exchanges:2 Starch;1 Fruit;1 Vegetable;2 Lean Meat;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. ************************** The Yule Log
The burning Yule log is symbolic of the light that will return after the dark days of early winter and gives us an excuse to gather with family and friends before a roaring fire. The tradition is an old one, going back to the Druid custom of choosing a large log from an apple or oak tree, lighting it afire, and praying that it would burn forever. In England, the log was selected months before Christmas Day. Because it was believed that all who brought it in from the woods would be protected against harm for the ensuing year, everyone lent a hand, making the event itself a festive time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Firewood Tips
• One large log lasts two to three times longer than the same volume of smaller logs.
• To avoid insect pests, never store firewood on the ground touching your house.
• Burn only seasoned wood (seasoned logs seem light in weight and have dark ends with cracks).
• Wood-burning stoves are three times more efficient than standard fireplaces.
• For the prettiest flames, burn birch or maple.
• Ash makes great firewood. According to an old saying, “Ash new or ash old is fit for a queen with a crown of gold.â€
• Add a handful of pine or hemlock needles, rosemary sprigs, or sage branches to your next fire to add natural incense to the room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Firewood Tips and Best Bets Did you know that one cord of wood burned as firewood provides the heat equivalent to that produced by burning 200 to 250 gallons of heating oil, depending on the type of hardwood you are using? Here is a list of hardwoods in descending order of heat value: Elm, rock
Hickory, shagbark
Oak, white
Hickory, butternut
Beech
Oak, red
Birch, yellow
Elm, red
Ash, white
Elm, white
Mesquite
Hop hornbeam
Locust, black Firewood Tips
Freshly cut wood contains up to 50 percent moisture and must be seasoned to 20 to 25 percent moisture content before burning. Wood containing more than 25 percent moisture is wet, or green, and should never be burned in a fireplace or wood stove.
Wet wood is easier to split than dry wood.
Wood must be split into pieces and stacked out of the rain for at least six months to season properly.
If steam bubbles and hisses out of the end grain as the firewood heats up on the fire, the wood is wet, or green, and needs to be seasoned longer before burning.
Well-seasoned firewood generally has darkened ends with visible cracks or splits. It is relatively lightweight and makes a sharp, distinctive "clink" when two pieces strike each other.
Limit the amount of pine you burn. It's a resinous softwood. ********************* Buche de Noel Try this easier, lighter version of the traditional chocolate yule log. Yield: 8 to 10 servings 3 eggs
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup cocoa
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
extra cocoa for dusting
Beat eggs on high speed until very thick and lemon-colored. (If eggs are not beaten enough, cake will be heavy and rubbery.) Gradually beat in sugar. On low speed, beat in water and vanilla. Add dry ingredients gradually, beating just until smooth. Pour into a heavy jelly-roll (10x15-inch) pan lined with greased and floured foil. (Fit foil snuggly into pan.) Bake at 375 degrees F for 12 to 15 minutes. Immediately loosen cake from edges of pan and invert onto a clean towel that has been sprinkled with cocoa. Carefully peel foil from cake. Trim edges of cake if necessary. While cake is hot, roll both cake and towel, starting with the narrow end, and place on wire rack, seam side down. Cool for at least 30 minutes. Filling and frosting:
2 cups whipping cream
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 tablespoons confectioners' sugar Whip cream with vanilla and confectioners' sugar. Unroll cooled cake and remove towel. Spread half the filling over cake, being generous at edges. Roll up. Spread remaining whipped cream over the log and sprinkle with cocoa. Decorate with holly sprigs, if desired. ********************** Phyllo-Wrapped Brie with Caramelized Onions Prep: 1 hour
Bake: 20 minutes
Stand: 5 minutes
Ingredients
1 tablespoon margarine or butter
4 medium onions, cut into thin wedges (about 2 cups)
2 teaspoons sugar
1/4 cup chopped toasted hazelnuts (filberts) or walnuts
8 sheets (17x12 inches) frozen phyllo dough, thawed
1/4 cup margarine or butter, melted
2 4-1/2-ounce rounds Brie or camembert cheese
1/4 cup apricot spreadable fruit
Baguette-style French bread slices, pear and/or apple wedges, or assorted crackers Directions 1. Melt the 1 tablespoon margarine or butter in a large saucepan. Add onion. Cover and cook over medium-low heat about 15 minutes or until onion is tender and golden, stirring occasionally. Sprinkle sugar over onion. Cook, covered, for 10 to 15 minutes more or until browned, stirring occasionally. Stir in hazelnuts or walnuts. Cool. 2. Work with one sheet of phyllo at a time, keeping remaining sheets covered with plastic wrap until needed. Lightly brush one sheet of phyllo dough with some of the 1/4 cup melted margarine or butter. Place another sheet of phyllo dough on top of the first sheet, and brush with margarine or butter. Repeat with two more sheets of phyllo, brushing with margarine or butter. Cut a 12-inch circle from the stack; discard trimmings. 3. Slice one round of Brie or camembert in half horizontally. Place bottom half in center of phyllo stack. Spread with 1 tablespoon of the apricot spreadable fruit; top with one-fourth of the caramelized onion-hazelnut mixture. Top with other half of Brie, 1 tablespoon spreadable fruit, and another one-fourth of onion-hazelnut mixture. Wrap phyllo up and over filling, pleating phyllo as needed to cover and slightly twisting phyllo on top. Brush phyllo with margarine or butter. Repeat with remaining phyllo, margarine, Brie, spreadable fruit, and onion-hazelnut mixture. 4. Place one wrapped Brie round in an 8x8x2-inch baking pan or two rounds in a 13x9x2-inch baking pan. Cover and chill up to 24 hours. Bake in a 400 degree F oven about 20 minutes or until golden. Let stand 5 to 10 minutes. Serve with bread, fruit wedges, or crackers. Makes 12 servings. Nutrition Facts
Calories195, Total Fat (g)13, Saturated Fat (g)5, Cholesterol (mg)21, Sodium (mg)250, Carbohydrate (g)14, Fiber (g)1, Protein (g)6, Vitamin A (DV%)9, Vitamin C (DV%)3, Calcium (DV%)5, Iron (DV%)4, Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet ************************ Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him . . . 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..'
'How much do you charge?'
'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the Doctor.
'I'll sleep on it,' I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'
'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!'
SCREW THOSE SHRINKS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER!
Life is too short.....have another drink ************************************* When people ask what you learned today .... Manure... An interesting fact Manure : In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas of course. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ' Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I.
********************
I know a bit racist but funny nevertheless
Did You Know?
1. That the words racecar spelled backward says racecar. 2. That eat is the only word that if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense; ate. And 3. Have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants," and add just a few more letters, it spells out:
"Fuck off and go home you free-loading, benefit grabbing, kid producing, violent, non-English speaking assholes and take those hairy faced, sandal wearing, bomb making, goat fucking bastards with you."
How weird is that? ************************************* BOB & THE BLONDE:
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar
And stared up at the TV.
The 10 PM news was coming on.
The news crew was covering the story
Of a man on the ledge of a large building
Preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said,
"Do you think he'll jump?"
Bob said,
"You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied,
"Well, I bet he won't."
Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said,
"You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar,
The guy on the ledge
Did a swan dive off the building,
Falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset,
But willingly handed her $20 to Bob .
"Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Bob replied,
"I can't take your money.
I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news,
So I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied,
"I did, too,
But I didn't think he'd do it again."
Bob took the money. ****************************** Some Thoughts
Shakespeare said:
I always feel happy, You know why?
Because I don't expect anything from anyone,
Expectations always hurt.. Life is short.. So love your life..
Be happy.. And Keep smiling.. Just Live for yourself and ...
‎​Before you speak » Listen
Before you write » Think
Before you spend » Earn
Before you pray » Forgive
Before you hurt » Feel
Before you hate » Love
Before you quit » Try
Before you die » Live
That's Life...Feel it, Live it & Enjoy it. ************************************* A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided
to take a pee. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind
blew, the gun fell over and discharged... shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his
doctor. Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that
you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very
little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot. What's the bad news? asked the hunter. The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done
to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister. Well I guess that isn't too bad, the hunter replied. Is your sister a
plastic surgeon? Not exactly, answered the doctor. She's a flute player in the Ottawa
Symphony. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't
piss in your eye. ************************** I have always wondered why a person is asked to swear to tell the truth, the WHOLE truth and nothing but the truth when the lawyers try to trick them and demand a one word answer yes or no that implies something other than the whole truth. This story is an excellent illustration.
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court,
the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde .
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident,'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer. Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie..." "I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,'I'm fine!'?" Clyde said,"Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailerand I was driving down the road....." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying
to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to
simply answer the question." By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie". Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and
Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning sohe went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?" "Now what the hell would you say?" *********************************** Oldie but still funny.
> Not long ago and not far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip but there were problems every where. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right.
>
> The Elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys and were threatening to go on strike. Four of the elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
>
> Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. Then she told Santa that her mother was coming to visit.
>
> When he went to harness the reindeer he found that two of them were about to give birth and the rest had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners, which Santa had to repiar.
>
> Then, when he began to load the sleigh, the damaged runner collapsed again and the toy bag fell to the ground, scattering toys all over the place.
>
> Frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey, but he found that the elves (and the reindeer) had hit the liquor cupboard and there was nothing there to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had gnawed the bristles down to a nub.
>
> Santa was beside himself with anger. "I CAN'T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours, and all my reindeer are drunk and my elves are on strike. I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid little angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"
>
> Just then the little angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a large Christmas Tree. Then, in a tiny little voice, full of Christmas cheer, he said: "So, Santa, where do you want me to stick the Christmas tree this year?"
>
> And that, my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.. **********************************
What are Calories?
Calories are the little suckers that get into your wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPES
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Do not expect a perfect church, but find in a church the means of coming near to Me. The real life is all that matters, the outward Church is the husk; but the husk was necessary to present the life-grain to man." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Bible Bits Psalm 119:105 KJV: Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. How do you read the Bible? One bite at a time, perhaps. There is a lot there and sometimes it can seem a bit overwhelming. But just like in many things, its all in how you look at it. The first thing you must keep in mind is to consider Who you are listening to. If you listen to the wrong voice, it might tell you that the Bible is too difficult for you to understand. But God has provided you all you need. His Holy Spirit will lead you as you seek God in His Word. God wants to reveal Himself to you and has promised that He will reward those who diligently seek Him. Whoever seeks Him wholeheartedly will find Him. Remember that it takes time, so don´t be discouraged if you are not understanding everything. Keep at it. God tells us, "you will reap the reward, if you do not give up." Be faithful to open His Word and trust God to bring the results. I promise...you will not be let down. The benefits are truly eternal. Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the LORD, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks.
- Jeremiah 16:16 John 10:14-15
“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.†************************* WORD FOR THE DAY: ear candy • EER-KAN-dee • noun
: music that is pleasing to listen to but lacks depth Example sentence:
"She's just another pop princess peddling ear candy," John said disdainfully of his tween daughter's favorite singer. "This year's production is just as good as -- if not better than -- Sierra Rep's smash-hit staging in 2007.... Becky Saunders, another Sierra Rep regular, provides ear candy and comedy as inn manager and former Broadway star Martha Watson." -- From a theater review in The Modesto Bee, October 30, 2010 ****************************** Total Lunar Eclipse! This year wraps up with a rare event! A total lunar eclipse—of the full Moon—on the winter solstice! A triple whammy! Delightfully, this eclipse will be fully visible from North America. The partial eclipse begins in the wee hours of December 21 at 1:32 A.M. (ET) with totality starting at 2:40 A.M. (For those on the West cost, the show begins on the 20th!) With the total eclipse, we will enjoy a celestial canvas of superb beauty. A lunar eclipse occurs when the Earth passes between the Sun and the Moon. In this alignment, the shadow of the Earth falls upon the Moon, dimming the Moon and giving it unusual coloring, ranging from muted gray to coppery orange. ****************************** CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. THINGS TO PONDER: Why are a goose and his wife called geese, but a moose and his wife aren't called meese THINGS TO PONDER: How does Kraft get the 5 ounces into every slice of American Singles?
You might be a REDNECK if...
...you think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high-dive.
Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.
- Louise Beal Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
- John Barrymore Clifford Stoll
"The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity." Mary Pickford
"Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo." Calvin Trillin
"Health food makes me sick." "The young do not know enough to
be prudent, and therefore they attempt
the impossible -- and achieve it,
generation after generation."
- Pearl S. Buck ********************************* Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover". *********************** Campbell's Chicken Crunch This extra-crunchy, oven-fried chicken is a favorite of both kids and adults - its secret ingredient is herb-seasoned stuffing.
Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 20
1 can Campbell's Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
1/2 cup milk
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (about 1 1/4 lbs.)
2 tbsp. all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Stuffing, crushed
2 tbsp. butter, melted
Heat the oven to 400°F. Stir 1/3 cup soup and 1/4 cup milk in a shallow dish. Coat the chicken with the flour. Dip the chicken in the soup mixture. Coat the chicken with the stuffing. Place the chicken onto a baking sheet. Drizzle with the butter.
Bake for 20 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through.
Heat the remaining soup and milk in a 1-quart saucepan over medium-high heat until the mixture is hot and bubbling. Serve the soup mixture with the chicken. ******************* Tomato Pie Times:Prep20 min
Prep10 min
Cook45 min
Total:1 hr 15 min
Ingredients
4 tomatoes, peeled and sliced
10 fresh basil leaves, chopped
1/2 cup chopped green onion
1 (9-inch) prebaked deep dish pie shell
1 cup grated mozzarella
1 cup grated cheddar
1 cup mayonnaise
Salt and pepper
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Place the tomatoes in a colander in the sink in 1 layer. Sprinkle with salt and allow to drain for 10 minutes. Layer the tomato slices, basil, and onion in pie shell. Season with salt and pepper. Combine the grated cheeses and mayonnaise together. Spread mixture on top of the tomatoes and bake for 30 minutes or until lightly browned. To serve, cut into slices and serve warm. *************************** Tomato Preserves Serves/Makes: 6 half-pints
Ingredients:
5 cups peeled and quartered tomatoes
5 cups sugar
1 lemon, sliced thinly and seeded
1 dash cinnamon
2 tablespoons butter Directions: Put tomatoes, sugar, sliced lemon and cinnamon in large, heavy pot and bring to slow boil over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally. When foam rises to surface, add butter and continue stirring and simmering until preserves thicken, about 45 minutes. (To test, stick a fork into preserves. When preserves cling to tines of fork, it should be thick enough to can.) Pour preserves into sterilized jars, seal and process in hot water bath for 15 minutes *********************** Honey-Glazed Parsnips Serves/Makes: 4 Ingredients:
1 1/4 pound parsnips, peeled and thinly sliced
1/3 cup honey
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon dried rosemary, crumbled
1 cup water
1/4 cup chopped parsley Directions: In a large skillet, combine the parsnips, honey, lemon juice, butter, salt, pepper, rosemary, and water. Bring to a boil over moderate heat. Cover and cook for 10 minutes or until crisp-tender. Uncover and cook for 10 minutes or until the liquid has evaporated and the parsnips are richly glazed and tender. Stir in the parsley. Per serving: 204 calories, 3g fat, 6g fiber, 2g protein, 8mg chol, 290mg sodium ************************ Best Banana Pudding Ingredients * 1 (5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix
* 2 cups cold milk
* 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
* 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
* 1 (12 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
* 1 (16 ounce) package vanilla wafers
* 14 bananas, sliced Directions 1. In a large mixing bowl, beat pudding mix and milk 2 minutes. Blend in condensed milk until smooth. Stir in vanilla and fold in whipped topping. Layer wafers, bananas and pudding mixture in a glass serving bowl. Chill until serving. Nutritional Information open nutritional information Amount Per Serving Calories: 331 | Total Fat: 9.8g | Cholesterol: 9mg Servings Per Recipe: 20 Amount Per Serving Calories: 331 * Total Fat: 9.8g
* Cholesterol: 9mg
* Sodium: 207mg
* Total Carbs: 57.4g
* Dietary Fiber: 2.4g
* Protein: 4.2g ******************************** Cranberry Bread Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 egg, well beaten
2 tablespoons melted butter
2 tablespoons hot water
1/2 cup orange juice
1/4 cup grated orange rind
1 cup fresh or dried cranberries
1/2 cup chopped nuts Instructions
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease a 9-by-5-inch loaf pan or 3 mini loaf pans.
2. Combine flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda. Add sugar, egg, butter, hot water, orange juice and grated orange rind; stir until moistened. Fold in berries and nuts. Spoon into pan and bake 50 minutes (or 35 minutes for mini loaves). Cool; wrap and refrigerate or freeze. Makes 1 large loaf or 3 mini loaves. ********************** House Fried Rice SERVES 4 Ingredients:
3/4 cup uncooked white rice
1 1/2 tablespoon sesame oil
1/2 small onion, chopped
1/2 clove garlic, chopped
1/2 cup small shrimp, peeled and deveined
1/4 cup diced ham
1/2 cup chopped cookedchicken breast
1 stalks celery, chopped
1 carrots, peeled and diced
1/2 green pepper, chopped
1/4 cup green peas
1/2 egg, beaten
1/8 cup soy sauce Directions: Cook rice according to package directions. While rice is cooking, heat a wok or large skillet over medium-high heat. Pour in sesame oil and stir in onion. Fry until golden, then add garlic. When garlic is lightly browned, mix in shrimp, ham, and chicken. Fry until shrimp is pink. Lower heat to medium and stir in celery, carrot, green pepper, and peas. Fry until vegetables are crisp-tender. Stir in beaten egg and cook just until egg is scrambled and firm. When rice is done, mix thoroughly with vegetables and stir in soy sauce. Adjust seasoning to your preference and serve immediately. ***************** Pork Chop and Stuffing Bake
Prep Time 10 Mins.
Cook Time 30 mins.
Serves 4-6 4 cups Corn Bread Stuffing *
4 to 6 boneless pork chops, 3/4" thick
1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup
1/3 cup milk
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese (optional) Prepare Stuffing acording to pkg. directions.
Spoon stuffing across center of of 3- qt shallow baking dish. Place pork chops on each side of stuffing. Mi soup and milk in small bowl and pour over pork chops. Cover and bake at 400 degrees F for 30 mins or until done. Sprinkle with cheese if desired. *********************** PET TIPS: TODAY'S PET TIP Collecting Urine for a Diabetic Dog It is collecting urine that we hit on a great idea! Cut the bottom off of a water bottle at an angle leave the lid on, this can then be placed between the back legs of a dog and when she urinates you catch it! Then it is a simple task to dip the stick into it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What if your pet becomes sick or is critically injured and needs expensive care that you can't afford? What can you do? This is a common problem that veterinarians face. And trust me, it is not a problem that we enjoy. Veterinarians would rather work on making your pet better, not deal with the financial issues that involve good pet care. So, what can you do if your pet has a problem that you can't afford? I'll give you some tips. 1. Credit cards and checks. If this is an option, ask the clinic if they accept checks and credit cards. This can help in some situations. 2. Care credit. Ask if the hospital accepts "care credit". Care credit is a line of credit that you can apply for on an emergency basis and it can give you immediate access to a credit card with a credit line (often at a fairly reasonable rate). 3. Most vet hospitals will give you time to make calls to family and friends or to visit a bank machine to come up with the required resources or deposit. 4. Consider other options. It may be that you can cut corners in some manner now to get you to a local shelter or humane society that may provide less expensive treatment or offer billing for additional tests. 5. Finally, if unexpected expenses are a hardship for you, the very BEST thing you can do for your pet is to get pet insurance early, before your pet has a problem. Get it when your pet is young and healthy and the premiums are reasonable. Also, consider taking advantage of the preventative care options that some companies offer. Yes, I frequently recommend that my readers should at least consider pet insurance. I do this because I've seen the lives of many pets saved because their owners had the financial ability to do the best for their pet. Today I encourage you to take a minute to educate yourself about pet insurance and learn how it can give you peace of mind knowing that you will be able to provide the best medical care for your dog. So take a few minutes to learn about the many benefits of pet insurance and get a FREE quote. Go to: petinsurance.com Take the extra step today and get an instant quote for your dog, you'll be glad you did. I hope these suggestions help you. ********************** Baby Carrots with Cranberries Those convenient little packages of baby carrots make a tasty side dish, simmered in cider. The red of the cranberries intensifies the color of the carrots. Yield: Serves 6 1 pound baby carrots
1 cup cider
pinch of salt
1 cup fresh whole cranberries
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1-1/2 tablespoon packed light-brown sugar or maple syrup
Put the carrots and cider into a medium, nonreactive skillet and bring to a boil. Add the salt, reduce the heat, and cook at a low boil, stirring occasionally, for about 10 minutes, until the liquid is reduced by half. Add the cranberries, butter, and brown sugar and cook several more minutes, stirring occasionally, until the carrots are tender but still slightly crispy and the remaining liquid in the pan is syrupy. (The total cooking time should be about 12 to 14 minutes--no longer, or the carrots will turn mushy.) Transfer to a serving bowl.
************************** You might be a REDNECK if...
...your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture
************************* The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos.
- Stephen Jay Gould America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
- Oscar Wilde In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man.
- Alfred Hitchcock ******************* One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift.
"How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.
"Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.
The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ...." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..."
The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.
"How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"
"No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you."
So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."
The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?"
The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."
******************************** Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?’’ Mabel answered, ‘’I have a suppository in my ear?’’
She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, “Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.
Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.†--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.
No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.' Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the storm, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find him, so the captain sent the old woman back to shore with the promise that he would notify her as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old woman got a fax from the boat. It read: 'Ma'am, sorry to inform you, we found your husband dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled him up to the deck and attached to his butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise.' The old woman faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!' --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'
I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?' She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon. I said, 'Well, why are you crying?' She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.'
I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?' She said, 'I can't remember where I live!' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me......I know we've been friends for a long time......but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.' Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?' ********************* HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS BITCH Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen
Her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the
Best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's
New, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!
Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she
Refused. ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress,
And I'm wearing it,'' she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind
Sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.''
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another
Gorgeous dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't
You going to return the other dress? You really don't have another
Occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear.....I'm
Wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.''
(NOW I ASK YOU - IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN'T ENJOY THIS STORY?) *************************** Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected! *********** Women are like angels...
When someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly ......... On a broomstick..... We are flexible....
************************************ THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPES
ABOUT ADVENT - ONE VIEW Advent is the beginning of the Church Year for most churches in the Western tradition. It begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas Day, which is the Sunday nearest November 30, and ends on Christmas Eve (Dec 24). If Christmas Eve is a Sunday, it is counted as the fourth Sunday of Advent, with Christmas Eve proper beginning at sundown. The Colors of Advent
Historically, the primary sanctuary color of Advent is Purple. This is the color of penitence and fasting as well as the color of royalty to welcome the Advent of the King. Purple is still used in some traditions (for example Roman Catholic). The purple of Advent is also the color of suffering used during Lent and Holy Week. This points to an important connection between Jesus’ birth and death. The nativity, the Incarnation, cannot be separated from the crucifixion. The purpose of Jesus’ coming into the world, of the "Word made flesh" and dwelling among us, is to reveal God and His grace to the world through Jesus’ life and teaching, but also through his suffering, death, and resurrection. To reflect this emphasis, originally Advent was a time of penitence and fasting, much as the Season of Lent and so shared the color of Lent. In the four weeks of Advent the third Sunday came to be a time of rejoicing that the fasting was almost over (in some traditions it is called Gaudete Sunday, from the Latin word for "rejoice"). The shift from the purple of the Season to pink or rose for the third Sunday Advent candles reflected this lessening emphasis on penitence as attention turned more to celebration of the season. In recent times, however, Advent has undergone a shift in emphasis, reflected in a change of colors used in many churches. Except in the Eastern churches, the penitential aspect of the Season has been almost totally replaced by an emphasis on hope and anticipation. In many churches the third Sunday remains the Sunday of Joy marked by pink or rose. However, most Protestant churches now use blue to distinguish the Season of Advent from Lent. Royal Blue is sometimes used as a symbol of royalty. Some churches use Bright Blue to symbolize the night sky, the anticipation of the impending announcement of the King’s coming, or to symbolize the waters of Genesis 1, the beginning of a new creation. Some churches, including some Catholic churches, use blue violet to preserve the traditional use of purple while providing a visual distinction between the purple or red violet of Lent. This does not eliminate any sense of penitence from the Season. With the focus on the Advent or Coming of Jesus, especially in anticipating His Second Advent, there remains a need for preparation for that coming. Most liturgical churches incorporate confessional prayers into the services of Advent that relate to a sense of unworthiness as we anticipate His Coming. It is appropriate even in more traditional services of worship to incorporate confessional prayers as part of the anticipation and preparation of the Season. With the shift to blue for Advent in most non-Catholic churches, some churches retain pink among the Advent colors, but use it on the Fourth Sunday of Advent. It still remains associated with Joy, but is sometimes used as the climax of the Advent Season on the last Sunday before Christmas. Red and Green are more secular colors of Christmas. Although they derive from older European practices of using evergreens and holly to symbolize ongoing life and hope that Christ’s birth brings into a cold world, they are never used as liturgical colors during Advent since those colors have other uses in other parts of the church year (see Colors of the Church Year). The Meaning of "Advent"
The word Advent means "coming" or "arrival." The focus of the entire season is the celebration of the birth of Jesus the Christ in his First Advent, and the anticipation of the return of Christ the King in his Second Advent. Thus, Advent is far more than simply marking a 2,000 year old event in history. It is celebrating a truth about God, the revelation of God in Christ whereby all of creation might be reconciled to God. That is a process in which we now participate, and the consummation of which we anticipate. Scripture reading for Advent will reflect this emphasis on the Second Advent, including themes of accountability for faithfulness at His coming, judgment on sin, and the hope of eternal life. In this double focus on past and future, Advent also symbolizes the spiritual journey of individuals and a congregation, as they affirm that Christ has come, that He is present in the world today, and that He will come again in power. That acknowledgment provides a basis for Kingdom ethics, for holy living arising from a profound sense that we live "between the times" and are called to be faithful stewards of what is entrusted to us as God’s people. So, as the church celebrates God’s inbreaking into history in the Incarnation, and anticipates a future consummation to that history for which "all creation is groaning awaiting its redemption," it also confesses its own responsibility as a people commissioned to "love the Lord your God with all your heart" and to "love your neighbor as yourself." The Spirit of Advent
Advent is marked by a spirit of expectation, of anticipation, of preparation, of longing. There is a yearning for deliverance from the evils of the world, first expressed by Israelite slaves in Egypt as they cried out from their bitter oppression. It is the cry of those who have experienced the tyranny of injustice in a world under the curse of sin, and yet who have hope of deliverance by a God who has heard the cries of oppressed slaves and brought deliverance! It is that hope, however faint at times, and that God, however distant He sometimes seems, which brings to the world the anticipation of a King who will rule with truth and justice and righteousness over His people and in His creation. It is that hope that once anticipated, and now anticipates anew, the reign of an Anointed One, a Messiah, who will bring peace and justice and righteousness to the world. Part of the expectation also anticipates a judgment on sin and a calling of the world to accountability before God. We long for God to come and set the world right! Yet, as the prophet Amos warned, the expectation of a coming judgment at the "Day of the Lord" may not be the day of light that we might want, because the penetrating light of God’s judgment on sin will shine just as brightly on God’s people. Because of this important truth, especially in the Eastern Orthodox Churches, the Season of Advent has been a time of fasting and penitence for sins similar to the Season of Lent. However, a different emphasis for the season of Advent has gradually unfolded in much of the rest of the church. The season of Advent has come to be celebrated more in terms of expectation or anticipation. Yet, the anticipation of the Coming of the Messiah throughout the Old Testament and Judaism was not in connection with remembrance of sins. Rather, it was in the context of oppression and injustice, the longing for redemption, not from personal guilt and sin but from the systemic evil of the world expressed in evil empires and tyrants. It is in that sense that all creation groans for its redemption as we witness the evil that so dominates our world (Rom 8:18-25). Of course, there is the problem of longing for vindication from an evil world when we are contributors to that evil. This is the power of the images of Amos when he warns about longing for the "Day of the Lord" that will really be a day of darkness (Amos 5:18-20). Still, even with Amos’ warning the time of Advent is one of expectation and anticipation, a longing for God's actions to restore all things and vindicate the righteous. This is why during Advent we as Christians also anticipate the Second Coming as a twin theme of the season. So, while some church traditions focus on penitence during Advent, and there remains a place for that, the spirit of that expectation from the Old Testament is better captured with a joyous sense of expectancy. Rather than a time of mourning and fasting, Advent is celebrated as a time of joy and happiness as we await the coming of the King. (see Can We Sing Christmas Carols During Advent?) There will be time enough during the rest of the journey through the Church Year to remember our sins. It begins in Epiphany when we hear about the brotherhood of the Kingdom, and realize our failure to effect it. Then as we move toward and through Lent we realize that the coming of Jesus served more to lay bare our own sin than it did to vindicate our righteousness. There will be time to shed Peter's bitter tears as we realize that what started with such possibility and expectation has apparently ended in such failure. It is only as we experience that full cycle, beginning with unbridled joy in Advent that slowly fades into the realization of what we have done with and to the Christ, that the awful reality of Good Friday can have its full impact. And in that realization we can finally be ready to hear the Good News on Resurrection Sunday! That is the journey that the disciples took. And so there is value in taking the same journey beginning with the anticipation and joy of Advent! So, we celebrate with gladness the great promise in the Advent, yet knowing that there is also a somber tone as the theme of threat is added to the theme of promise. This is reflected in some of the Scripture readings for Advent, in which there is a strong prophetic tone of accountability and judgment on sin. But this is also faithful to the role of the Coming King who comes to rule, save, and judge the world. Because of the dual themes of threat and promise, Advent is a time of preparation that is marked by prayer. While Lent is characterized by fasting and a spirit of penitence, Advent’s prayers are prayers of humble devotion and commitment, prayers of submission, prayers for deliverance, prayers from those walking in darkness who are awaiting and anticipating a great light (Isa 9)! The spirit of Advent is expressed well in the parable of the bridesmaids who are anxiously awaiting the coming of the Bridegroom (Matt 25:1-13). There is profound joy at the Bridegroom’s expected coming. And yet a warning of the need for preparation echoes through the parable. But even then, the prayer of Advent is still: Come, O Come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel! Evergreens and The Advent Wreath
The beginning of Advent is a time for the hanging of the green, decoration of the church with evergreen wreaths, boughs, or trees that help to symbolize the new and everlasting life brought through Jesus the Christ. Some churches have a special weekday service, or the first Sunday evening of Advent, or even the first Sunday morning of Advent, in which the church is decorated and the Advent wreath put in place. This service is most often primarily of music, especially choir and hand bells, and Scripture reading, along with an explanation of the various symbols as they are placed in the sanctuary. The Advent wreath is an increasingly popular symbol of the beginning of the Church year in many churches as well as homes. It is a circular evergreen wreath (real or artificial) with five candles, four around the wreath and one in the center. Since the wreath is symbolic and a vehicle to tell the Christmas story, there are various ways to understand the symbolism. The exact meaning given to the various aspects of the wreath is not as important as the story to which it invites us to listen, and participate. The circle of the wreath reminds us of God Himself, His eternity and endless mercy, which has no beginning or end. The green of the wreath speaks of the hope that we have in God, the hope of newness, of renewal, of eternal life. Candles symbolize the light of God coming into the world through the birth of His son. The four outer candles represent the period of waiting during the four Sundays of Advent, which themselves symbolize the four centuries of waiting between the prophet Malachi and the birth of Christ. The colors of the candles vary with different traditions, but there are usually three purple or blue candles, corresponding to the sanctuary colors of Advent, and one pink or rose candle. One of the purple candles is lighted the first Sunday of Advent, a Scripture is read, a short devotional or reading is given, and a prayer offered. On subsequent Sundays, previous candles are relighted with an additional one lighted. The pink candle is usually lighted on the third Sunday of Advent. However, different churches or traditions light the pink candle on different Sundays depending on the symbolism used (see above on Colors of Advent). In Churches that use a Service of the Nativity, it is often lighted on the fourth Sunday of Advent, the final Sunday before Christmas. The light of the candles itself becomes an important symbol of the season. The light reminds us that Jesus is the light of the world that comes into the darkness of our lives to bring newness, life, and hope. It also reminds us that we are called to be a light to the world as we reflect the light of God's grace to others (Isa 42:6). The progression in the lighting of the candles symbolizes the various aspects of our waiting experience. As the candles are lighted over the four week period, it also symbolizes the darkness of fear and hopelessness receding and the shadows of sin falling away as more and more light is shed into the world. The flame of each new candle reminds the worshippers that something is happening, and that more is yet to come. Finally, the light that has come into the world is plainly visible as the Christ candle is lighted at Christmas, and worshippers rejoice over the fact that the promise of long ago has been realized. The first candle is traditionally the candle of Expectation or Hope (or in some traditions, Prophecy). This draws attention to the anticipation of the coming of an Anointed One, a Messiah, that weaves its way like a golden thread through Old Testament history. As God’s people were abused by power hungry kings, led astray by self-centered prophets, and lulled into apathy by half-hearted religious leaders, there arose a longing among some for God to raise up a new king who could show them how to be God’s people. They yearned for a return of God’s dynamic presence in their midst. And so, God revealed to some of the prophets that indeed He would not leave His people without a true Shepherd. While they expected a new earthly king, their expectations fell far short of God’s revelation of Himself in Christ. And yet, the world is not yet fully redeemed. So, we again with expectation, with hope, await God’s new work in history, the second Advent, in which He will again reveal Himself to the world. And we understand in a profound sense that the best, the highest of our expectations will fall far short of what our Lord’s Second Advent will reveal! The remaining three candles of Advent may be associated with different aspects of the Advent story in different churches, or even in different years. Usually they are organized around characters or themes as a way to unfold the story and direct attention to the celebrations and worship in the season. So, the sequence for the remaining three Sundays might be Bethlehem, Shepherds, Angels. Or Love, Joy, Peace. Or John the Baptist, Mary, the Magi. Or the Annunciation, Proclamation, Fulfillment. Whatever sequence is used, the Scripture readings, prayers, lighting of the candles, the participation of worshipers in the service, all are geared to unfolding the story of redemption through God’s grace in the Incarnation. The third candle, usually for the Third Sunday of Advent, is traditionally Pink or Rose, and symbolizes Joy at the soon Advent of the Christ. It marks a shift from the more solemn tone of the first two Sundays of Advent that focus on Preparation and Hope, to a more joyous atmosphere of anticipation and expectancy. Sometimes the colors of the sanctuary and vestments are also changed to Rose for this Sunday. As noted above, in some churches the pink Advent candle is used on the fourth Sunday to mark the joy at the impending Nativity of Jesus. Whatever sequence is adopted for these Sundays, the theme of Joy can still be the focus for the pink candle. For example, when using the third Sunday to commemorate the visit of the Magi the focus can be on the Joy of worshipping the new found King. Or the Shepherds as the symbol for the third Sunday brings to mind the joy of the proclamation made to them in the fields, and the adoration expressed as they knelt before the Child at the manger. If used on the fourth Sunday of Advent, it can symbolize the Joy in fulfilled hope. The center candle is white and is called the Christ Candle. It is traditionally lighted on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. However, since many Protestant churches do not have services on those days, many light it on the Sunday preceding Christmas, with all five candles continuing to be lighted in services through Epiphany (Jan 6). The central location of the Christ Candle reminds us that the incarnation is the heart of the season, giving light to the world. Celebrating Advent
Advent is one of the few Christian festivals that can be observed in the home as well as at church. In its association with Christmas, Advent is a natural time to involve children in activities at home that directly connect with worship at church. In the home an Advent wreath is often placed on the dining table and the candles lighted at meals, with Scripture readings preceding the lighting of the candles, especially on Sunday. A new candle is lighted each Sunday during the four weeks, and then the same candles are lighted each meal during the week. In this context, it provides the opportunity for family devotion and prayer together, and helps teach the Faith to children, especially if they are involved in reading the daily Scriptures. It is common in many homes to try to mark the beginning of Advent in other ways as well, for the same purpose of instruction in the faith. Some families decorate the house for the beginning of Advent, or bake special cookies or treats, or simply begin to use table coverings for meals. An Advent Calendar is a way to keep children involved in the entire season. There are a wide variety of Advent calendars, but usually they are simply a card or poster with windows that can be opened, one each day of Advent, to reveal some symbol or picture associated with the Old Testament story leading up to the birth of Jesus. One unique and specialized Advent calendar that can be used either in the home or the sanctuary is a Jesse Tree. (We have available an online Advent calendar with devotionals for each day of Advent as well as Christmas through Epiphany Day: NazNet's Advent and Christmas Celebration). All of these provide opportunities to teach children the significance of this sacred time, and to remind ourselves of it as well. In congregational worship, the Advent wreath is the central teaching symbol of the season, the focal point for drawing the congregation into the beginning of the story of redemption that will unfold throughout the church year. For this reason, members of the congregation are often involved in lighting the Advent candles and reading the appropriate Scriptures each Sunday. While in some churches it is customary for this to be done by families, it can also be an especially good opportunity to demonstrate the unity of the entire community of Faith by including those without families, such as those never married, divorced, widowed, elderly who live by themselves, or college students away from home. Small Things and Possibility: An Advent Reflection
We live in a world in which bigger and better define our expectations for much of life. We have become so enamored by super size, super stars, and high definition that we tend to view life through a lens that so magnifies what we expect out of the world that we tend not to see potential in small things. But as the prophet Zechariah reminds us (Zech 4:10), we should not "despise the day of small things," because God does some of his best work with small beginnings and impossible situations. It is truly a humbling experience to read back through the Old Testament and see how frail and imperfect all the "heroes" actually are. Abraham, the coward who cannot believe the promise. Jacob, the cheat who struggles with everybody. Joseph, the immature and arrogant teen. Moses, the impatient murderer who cannot wait for God. Gideon, the cowardly Baal-worshipper. Samson, the womanizing drunk. David, the power abusing adulterer. Solomon, the unwise wise man. Hezekiah, the reforming king who could not quite go far enough. And finally, a very young Jewish girl from a small village in a remote corner of a great empire. It never ceases to amaze me that God often begins with small things and inadequate people. It certainly seems that God could have chosen "bigger" things and "better" people to do His work in the world. Yet if God can use them, and reveal Himself through them in such marvelous ways, it means that He might be able to use me, inadequate, and unwise, and too often lacking in faith that I am. And it means that I need to be careful that I do not in my own self-righteousness put limits on what God can do with the smallest things, the most unlikely of people, in the most hopeless of circumstances. I think that is part of the wonder of the Advent Season. I am convinced that one of the main purposes of the incarnation of Jesus was to provide hope. While most people today want to talk about the death of Jesus and the Atonement of sins, the early Church celebrated the Resurrection and the hope it embodied. It was a proclamation of a truth that rang throughout the Old Testament, that endings are not always endings but are opportunities for God to bring new beginnings. The Resurrection proclaimed that truth even about humanity’s greatest fear, death itself. Both the season of Advent and the season of Lent are about hope. It is not just hope for a better day or hope for the lessening of pain and suffering, although that is certainly a significant part of it. It is more about hope that human existence has meaning and possibility beyond our present experiences, a hope that the limits of our lives are not nearly as narrow as we experience them to be. It is not that we have possibility in ourselves, but that God is a God of new things and so all things are possible (Isa 42:9, Mt 19:26, Mk 14:36) God's people in the first century wanted Him to come and change their oppressive circumstances, and were angry when those immediate circumstances did not change. But that is a short sighted view of the nature of hope. Our hope cannot be in circumstances, no matter how badly we want them or how important they are to us. The reality of human existence, with which the Book of Job struggles, is that God's people experience that physical existence in the same way that others do. Christians get sick and die, Christians are victims of violent crimes, and Christians are hurt and killed in traffic accidents, bombings, war, and in some parts of the world, famine (see The Problem of Natural Evil). If our hope is only in our circumstances, as we define them to be good or as we want them to be to make us happy, we will always be disappointed. That is why we hope, not in circumstances, but in God. He has continually, over the span of four thousand years, revealed himself to be a God of newness, of possibility, of redemption, the recovery or transformation of possibility from endings that goes beyond what we can think or even imagine (Eph 3:2). The best example of that is the crucifixion itself, followed by the resurrection. That shadow of the cross falls even over the manger. Yet, it all begins in the hope that God will come and come again into our world to reveal himself as a God of newness, of possibility, a God of new things. This time of year we contemplate that hope embodied, enfleshed, incarnated, in a newborn baby, the perfect example of newness, potential, and possibility. During Advent, we groan and long for that newness with the hope, the expectation, indeed the faith, that God will once again be faithful to see our circumstances, to hear our cries, to know our longings for a better world and a whole life (Ex 3:7). And we hope that as he first came as an infant, so he will come again as King! (See The Second Coming) My experience tells me that those who have suffered and still hope understand far more about God and about life than those who have not. Maybe that is what hope is about: a way to live, not just to survive, but to live authentically amidst all the problems of life with a Faith that continues to see possibility when there is no present evidence of it, just because God is God. That is also the wonder of Advent. Music for Advent
Traditional Songs for Advent
Full lyrics for these can be found at various places online, such as NetHymnal. Christ, whose glory fills the skies Come, thou long expected Jesus Comfort, comfort ye, my people Creator of the stars of night Day of wrath! O day of mourning, Part 1 (English translation of Dies Irae) Go, labor on! Spend and be spent Hark! A thrilling voice is sounding (English translation of Vox clara ecce intonat) Hark! The glad sound Hark! The voice eternal High o'er the lonely hills Hosanna to the living Lord (for the first Sunday of Advent) Let all mortal flesh keep silent (English translation of Σιγησάτο παÏα σαÏξ βÏοτεία) Lift up your heads, ye mighty gates (for the first Sunday of Advent; two versions) Lift up your heads, rejoice (for the third Sunday of Advent) Light of those whose dreary dwelling Little children, Advent bids you (for the fourth Sunday of Advent; Second Advent) Lo! He comes, with clouds descending Lord Christ, when first thou came to men (two versions) O Come, Divine Messiah O come, O come, Emmanuel! (English translation of Veni, veni Emanuel) O Day of God, draw nigh O North, with all thy vales of green O very God of very God O Savior, rend the heavens wide O Word, that goest forth on high On Jordan's bank the Baptist's cry Rejoice, rejoice, believers! Savior of the nations, come! (English translation of Veni Redemptor gentium) Sleepers, wake! The advent of our King The day is surely drawing near (for the fourth Sunday of Advent; Second Advent) The King shall come when morning dawns The Lord will come and not be slow The world is very evil (English Translation of Hora novissima) Thy kingdom come! on bended knee Thy kingdom come, O God Wake, awake, for night is flying Watchman, tell us of the night When shades of night around us close Modern and Contemporary Songs for Advent
Full lyrics for some of these can be found at various places online, such as NetHymnal; others are fully copyrighted and can be obtained only from publishers. At the coming of the Lord Be Immanuel in me Before the starry universe Breath of heaven (for the fourth Sunday of Advent) Child of wondrous love Come, our Lord (also a song for Eucharist) From David's city Have mercy Hear the prophets talking I need a silent night (for the third or fourth Sunday of Advent) Immanuel, Immanuel Light a candle People look east Prayer for God's presence Prepare us The Advent candle shines with hope There's a voice in the wilderness crying This is my song (tune Finlandia; for the fourth Sunday of Advent) To a maid engaged to Joseph (for the third or fourth Sunday of Advent) Veiled in darkness Judah lay (for the fourth Sunday of Advent) We have a hope Welcome to our world (for the fourth Sunday of Advent) When will the Savior come? Advent Songs Sung to Christmas Tunes
Full lyrics for these can be found at various places online, such as NetHymnal; for links to downloadable .pdf files for use in church bulletins, see Advent Hymns Set to Christmas Tunes [external link] The King shall come when morning dawns (using tune Antioch, Joy to the World) Watchman, tell us of the night (using tune Mendelssohn, Hark! The Herald Angels Sing) The people that in darkness sat (using tune Christmas, While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks) Lo, He comes with clouds descending (using tune Regent Square, Angels from the Realms of Glory) Of the Father's love begotten (using tune W Zlobie Lezy, Infant Holy, Infant Lowly)
Tags: ADVENT - DIDNT POST ALL ON BLOG
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