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REMINDERS FROM GOD: "All sacrifice and suffering is redemptive. It is used to either teach the individual or to help others. Nothing is by chance." Our Daily Devotional: Purposeful Pursuits 1 Corinthians 15:58 NIV: Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. "I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun" (Eccl. 2 10-11). Solomon had seen it all, tried it all, and denied himself nothing. And upon careful reflection, he concluded that there is but one good cause for mankind: "Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man" (Eccl. 12:13). There is much to shake us, much to stir, much to cause strife, much to distract, and much to disturb us in our efforts to stand firm in Christ. Whether it be things of the world, things of pleasure, or things of selfish pursuit; they are things that leave us empty. Our greatest joy, fulfillment, meaning and purpose shall only and always be found in Christ?all else, is a chasing after the wind. But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. - 1 Samuel 16:7
---------------------------------- Word of the Day : aphorismaphorism • AF-uh-riz-um • noun
1 : a concise statement of a principle *2 : a terse formulation of a truth or sentiment : adage Example sentence:
Through his work as a radio broadcaster, Ted has entertained countless listeners with his feel-good stories and his pithy, down-home aphorisms. -----------------------------
Funny Quote of the Day Paula Poundstone -- "I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name." G. Gordon Liddy -- "Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime." Groucho Marx -- "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." - Jim Rohn CONFUCIOUS SAYS: Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. THINGS TO PONDER: Why is toilet paper scented? ------------------------------- JOKES: JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~ Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.' You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing! Take heed and pass these along to people who need a laugh. I thought you would enjoy this....times are tough right now...for all of us...so we need something to make the day a happy place. "They" haven't found a way to tax you for laughing yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You might be a REDNECK if...
...you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
============================================== CHECK OUT THIS SITE FOR THE DAY: Awkward Signs - World Edition
http://www.aol.com/__photogallery/popup.html?feeddeeplinkNum=0 ================================= RECIPE: Shrimp Gumbo Prep Time 30 min.
Cook Time 2 hrs. 15 min.
Serves 8
Ingredients 1 pound smoked sausage, cut into 1/4 inch rounds
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 (4 pound) chicken, cut into parts
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped green onions
2/3 cup green bell pepper, finely chopped
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
1 tablespoon minced garlic
2 pounds medium shrimp - peeled and deveined
8 cups water
salt to taste
ground black pepper to taste
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon dried thyme
2 bay leaves
file powder Cooking Directions
In a medium skillet, brown the sausage over medium heat. Remove from pan, and drain on paper towels to remove some of the fat. Discard fat in pan.
In a large skillet, heat vegetable oil over high heat. Brown chicken pieces in hot oil. Turn frequently until golden brown on all sides. Transfer chicken to a dish, leaving oil in pan. Set chicken aside, but keep warm.
Make a roux by whisking flour into the hot vegetable oil. Turn heat down to low. Continue cooking flour and oil mixture, stirring constantly, until it reaches a dark brown color. This may take 30 to 45 minutes; the darker the roux, the better the final gumbo.
When the roux is a dark brown color, quickly add the sausage, onion, green onion tops, green pepper, parsley, and garlic. Cook over low heat until the vegetables are wilted, about 10 minutes, stirring constantly.
Stir in 2 cups water and spices. Add chicken parts. Add rest of the water slowly. Bring mixture to a boil, and reduce heat. Simmer for about 45 minutes, until chicken is done and tender.
Remove chicken pieces, and save for another use. Add shrimp to gumbo; cook for about 8 to 10 minutes more. Remove bay leaves. Taste, and adjust seasoning. Serve gumbo in deep bowls. Sprinkle file powder over individual servings, and stir in. Yield: 8 servings Nutrition InfoPer Serving Calories: 837 kcal
Carbohydrates: 19 g
Dietary Fiber: 1 g
Fat: 52 g
Protein: 69 g
Sugars: 4 g
About: Nutrition Info
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "All sacrifice and suffering is redemptive. It is used to either teach the individual or to help others. Nothing is by chance." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Blissful Ignorance John 6:60 NIV: On hearing it, many of his disciples said, "This is a hard teaching, who can accept it?"...From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. Jesus had finished explaining to many of his disciples some of the principles surrounding who He was. But what Jesus said was difficult for them to receive because what He said rubbed harshly against their flesh. What Jesus said did not settle with what they in their own human wisdom could reason out. "Many of his disciples," the scripture tells us, "turned back and no longer followed him." Their response was to say within themselves, "I just can´t understand that--I don´t even want to think about it." We like to feel secure in our beliefs and understandings about the way things are. When something or someone comes along that shakes those beliefs and causes us to question things of which we have felt secure in our understanding, our tendency is to resist. We become uncomfortable and insecure and find ourselves at the crossroads--wondering what is right and who is wrong. We have a choice: struggle through the questions, trusting God for the answers; or bow to the bliss of ignorance.
Psalm 90:12
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.â€
But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.
- 1 Samuel 16:7 *************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: ligneous PRONUNCIATION:
(LIG-nee-uhs) MEANING:
adjective: Having the texture or appearance of wood.
ETYMOLOGY:
From Latin lignum (wood). Ultimately from the Indo-European root leg- (to collect), which is also the source of lexicon, legal, dialogue, lecture, logic, legend, logarithm, intelligent, diligent, sacrilege, elect, and loyal. Earliest documented use: 1626.
USAGE:
"With Boris Johnson lumbering onto the Queen Vic set recently (and 'lumber' is the only appropriate word for his sturdily ligneous performance) ..."
Tom Sutcliffe; An Age-Old Problem That Affects Us All; The Independent (London, UK); Jan 26, 2010.
************************** A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account." ************************** Quote of the Day Warren Buffett
"I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me." George Carlin
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?" George Burns
"I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age." Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.
- Douglas Adams Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
You might be a REDNECK if...
...your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
THINGS TO PONDER: Are people born stupid or do they have to work at it?
CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
- George Burns I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
- Jay Leno You might be a REDNECK if...
...birds are attracted to your beard.
******************************* PET TIPS: Home Care of the Dog with an Ear Infection By: Dr. Debra Primovic Share this An ear infection, also known by the medical term Otitis Externa (which means inflammation of the outer ear), is a common condition that may affect more than 20% of all dogs. In fact, it is one of the top 10 reasons dogs go to their veterinarian. Below are some common questions dog owners ask about ear infections. The focus of this article will be "what you can do at home". What Is an Ear Infection? An ear infection is an infection of the ear canal. Most commonly it occurs in the outer ear but it can also extend to the inner ear. What Causes Ear Infections? Several factors can predispose dogs to ear infections including long floppy ears, water or hair in the ears, allergies, trauma, tumors, foreign material in the ears, allergies, autoimmune disease and generalized skin diseases. A common question pet owners ask is, "How can I treat an ear infection at home?"
Home Treatment of Ear Infections
Specific treatments of ear infections are dependent on the underlying cause. Here is the general approach to treating ear infections:
Be able to hold your dog to evaluate the ear. If you notice blood or extreme redness and irritation, the best thing to do is to see your veterinarian. Many infections require prescription antibiotics.
If your dog is shaking his head and/or has ear discharge and you can not take your dog to your veterinarian (which is recommended), then you may try the following:
Administer only prescribed medications. Please check with your veterinarian before giving ANY medications to your dog. Do not put anything in your dog's ear that was not made for the ear.
One issue with ear infections is that they can have different underlying causes. For example, ear infections can be caused by any of the following: ear mites, fungal organisms and/or bacteria. Many dogs with ear infections have allergies as a predisposing cause. To be most effective, the medications for each cause can be different.
If possible, clean the debris from the ear. Use a commercial ear cleaner, which you can get at your veterinarian's office or at many pet stores. Here are some tips on how to clean your dog's ear.
- Restrain your dog. Start by wrapping your small dog in a large thick towel with just the head exposed. Or, if you have a larger dog, let someone help by holding your dog's body and legs. - Clean the ear lobe. Using a cotton ball, paper towel or gauze sponges moistened with water. Gently rub the large pieces of dirt, wax and debris off the ear lobe. Repeat on the opposite ear. - Clean the cartilage of the ear. After most of the debris has been removed with the moistened cotton ball, use a cotton swab (Q-Tip®) moistened with water to gently remove the pieces of debris trapped within the cartilage of the ear. Be very careful not to place the swab down the ear canal. This will stimulate head shaking and can lead to ear trauma. It is safest to clean only the parts of the ear you can see. If there is significant wax just inside the ear canal, you can briefly place the tip of the Q-tip into the ear canal to remove the debris. However, and this is important, you should ALWAYS be able to see the cotton tip of the swab. - After cleaning the ears, it is a good idea to offer a treat. This will help make the next ear cleaning session a little smoother.
For deeper cleaning, you can use an ear-cleaning solution. To use, flush a small amount into your dog's ear. About a teaspoon is adequate for most dogs. Gently massage the base of the ear. You should hear a swishing sound in most dogs. Then dry as directed above using a cotton ball or gauze sponges.
Many organisms that live in the ear prefer an alkaline environment. One inexpensive ear solution you can make at home is a 50% water and 50% white vinegar mix.
To prevent future ear infections, check your dog's ears regularly. Dry your dog's ears well after swimming by using cotton balls to gently absorb water in the visible out bits of the ear.
This is important! If the ear infection continues at any time, or if other symptoms are noted, call your veterinarian promptly. If your pet is not eating, acts lethargic, is vomiting or is having diarrhea, or if any other physical abnormalities begin, it is important to see your veterinarian. Your pet needs your help and the professional care your veterinarian can provide. If your pet is having the clinical signs mentioned above, expect your veterinarian to perform some diagnostic tests and make treatment recommendations. Recommendations will be dependent upon the severity and nature of the clinical signs.
When Is an Ear Infection an Emergency? An ear infection is an emergency when your dog is in pain, you cannot touch or look in your dog's ear, the ear is red and swollen, and/or your dog has a head tilt. All ear infections should be examined and treated by a veterinarian. Great Links for More Information For more details or related topics, go to: Otitis Externa in Dogs, Ear Mites in Dogs, and How to Clean Your Dog's Ears. http://www.petplace.com/dogs/home-care-of-the-dog-with-an-ear-infection/page1.aspx?utm_source=dogcrazynews001et&utm_medium=email&utm_content=petplace_article&utm_campaign=dailynewsletter ************************ Civil War, 150 Years Later, Still Divides Our Nation
MANASSAS, Va. – When National Park Service rangers fired a New Year's cannon shot at this Civil War battleground to hail the arrival of 2011, they also ushered in the start of a four-year commemoration of the war's 150th anniversary.
The events include a multitude of battle re-enactments, lecture series, readings, concerts and plays that will be held on the battle fields tended to by the Park Service and in private estates from the shores of the Gulf of Mexico to New York. But the slate of commemorations is also fraught with political peril. Deep divisions over why the war was fought persist, especially in the South. The debate still roils over slavery's role as the principle cause of the war. The first commemoration, a private "secession gala" organized by the Sons of Confederate Veterans in Charleston on Dec. 20, did not signal an auspicious start to the upcoming calendar of events.
Robert Sutton, a historian of the National Park Service seen here at the battleground in Manassas, Va., continues to see the states-rights-versus-slavery debate rage as the nation begins a four-year commemoration of the 150th anniversary of the Civil War.
The date marked the 150th anniversary of the day South Carolina became the first of 11 states to secede. Inside the ballroom, elected officials and others in period costume celebrated the courage of their fore-bearers to stand up for their state's right to leave the Union. Outside, on the sidewalk, the NAACP led 100 demonstrators who viewed the event as a celebration of a treasonous act against the federal government in order to protect the institution of slavery. "They called their parents patriots," said Lonnie Randolph, president of the state branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. "Was Timothy McVeigh a patriot? He disagreed with America." Mark Simpson, the commander of South Carolina's division of Sons of Confederate Veterans, defended the gala, saying it was not about denying slavery as "an issue" in the war, but honoring South Carolina's rights. "We recognize and stated in all the media interviews that slavery was an issue in the war," Simpson said. "But this would be like taking a book that has 10 or 15 chapters and tearing all the chapters out except one. While slavery was an issue, it was by no means what brought about the war." Calender of Civil War Commemorative Events in 2011 Robert Sutton, the Park Service historian, just sighs. He watched the states' rights-versus-slavery debate rage in the dozen years he spent as superintendent of the Manassas National Battlefield Park. He doesn't see any sign that anyone's going to change their mind. "One hundred and fifty years later, it is hard to come to grips with the fact that we had four million people enslaved," he said. "They have a difficult time accepting that their ancestors were fighting to protect the institution of slavery. Yes, there were social factors. Yes, there were economic factors. Yes, there were political factors. But when you boil it all down, slavery was the major factor." Most of the events scheduled for the next four years are educational, such as the roster of historians who will speak in July at a ceremony in Manassas, scene of the first big battle of the war. Or, the event in Washington in September, where volunteers will gather with candles to represent the forts set up to protect the Washington Monument.
The Yankees and Confederates clash at the First Battle of Manassas on July 21, 1861, during the American Civil War. Some states are looking to attract tourists instead of controversy. Virginia, where 60 percent of the civil war battles were fought, is busy promoting "civil war history hotel packages" in hopes of making up for drop in tourism dollars during the recession. (Although Virginia Gov. Bob McConnell found himself in hot water last spring after he issued a proclamation designating April as Confederate History Month that did not mention slavery. He rewrote it, both condemning slavery and spelling out that it had prompted the war.) But two developments could give the commemoration a bumpy roll out. One, the 150th anniversary approached as the tea party movement drove the recent elections, and states' rights gained new luster. "Look at the way the elections have just gone," said Simpson. "There were two dozen states that passed sovereignty resolutions. South Carolina passed it, and it stems from an unconstitutional mandate from Congress over the health care bill. There's been a lot of change. I'm not a secessionist, but I'm asking a question: What does it mean? It means something." The other factor that may affect the remembrances is that for the first time, African Americans are involved with a major Civil War anniversary on more equal footing. The centennial of the Civil War in 1961 occurred as the civil rights movement gained momentum. But segregation still dominated the South. Many events – including the 1961 secessionist gala – were held in segregated hotels, where blacks were not allowed to stay. "At the 100th, the African Americans who did come were not allowed to participate," Randolph said. Elsewhere, NAACP leaders also have expressed unhappiness with other upcoming events they say would glorify the Confederacy and all that it stood for. That includes plans by a private group in Montgomery, Ala. to stage a mock swearing in ceremony of Jefferson Davis as president of the Confederacy. "From a free speech point of view, I understand their right to put that on," said Benard Simelton, president of the Alabama NAACP. "But the only thing it's going to do is incite divisiveness among people and there are much better things to spend money on than to re-enact the Civil War." Even the Park Service may find itself targeted over its plan to commemorate the first shot fired in the war on April 12, 1861 at Fort Sumter in Charleston Harbor. Randolph said he plans to contact Interior Department Secretary Ken Salazar over plans for a ceremony in which a lone blank mortar round will be fired at the fort on April 12. "It recreates a terrorist act," Randolph said. "I can't imagine the Park Service being involved in that." That event, said the Fort Sumter National Monument historian Rick Hatcher, also involves a dramatic star burst propelled into the sky that splits in two, symbolizing the nation divided. Bob Reynolds, a Park Service spokesman said he will reserve comment until after Randolph's complaint is received. For most historians, the question of what caused the war was settled long ago. The United States had the largest slave population in the world. By 1860, 60 percent of South Carolina's population were slaves. "Historians don't fight this battle anymore about what caused the war. It's slavery," said James Marten, president of the Society of Civil War Historians and chairman of the history department at Marquette University in Wisconsin. "The constitutional issues would not have caused the Civil War unless slavery had been attached to those debates," he continued. "It was an extraordinarily important institution economically, historically, and politically. Without slavery, you wouldn't have had a civil war. Maybe we've done a bad job of communicating this." Marten sees the 150th anniversary as a teaching moment, but laments he sees "no grand narrative" about the war and its legacy that's been drawn up a national scale. "It's become so localized and so politicized. Given whom the president is, and what just happened in the election, with the tea party and the debate over health care, I don't think much will change in how we understand the Civil War as a country," he said. "That's the nature of popular history and memory versus history. Memory is something that is really hard to change." http://www.aolnews.com/2010/12/31/2011-begins-commemoration-of-150th-anniversary-of-the-civil-war/ ***************************** Classic Italian Cheesecake prep time 15 min
total time 1 hr 45 min
makes 16 servings INGREDIENTS: 1 cup HONEY MAID Graham Cracker Crumbs
3 Tbsp. butter or margarine, melted
2 Tbsp. sugar
4 cups POLLY-O Original Ricotta Cheese
1-1/4 cups sugar
1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup whipping cream
2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. grated lemon zest
5 eggs DIRECTIONS: PREHEAT oven to 350°F if using a silver 9-inch springform pan (or to 325°F if using a dark nonstick 9-inch springform pan). Mix crumbs, butter and 2 Tbsp. sugar. Press firmly onto bottom of pan. Bake 10 minutes. MEANWHILE, beat ricotta cheese, 1-1/4 cups sugar and flour in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended. Add whipping cream, vanilla and zest; mix well. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing just until blended after each addition. Pour over crust. BAKE 1 hour and 20 minutes or until center is almost set. Run knife or metal spatula around rim of pan to loosen cake; cool before removing rim of pan. Refrigerate 4 hours or overnight. Store leftover cheesecake in refrigerator. Kraft Kitchens Tips Size-Wise
Serve this rich and indulgent cheesecake on a special occasion. It's sure to be a hit with your friends and family! Make Ahead
Cheesecake can be prepared the day ahead. Cover; refrigerate until ready to serve. How to Test Cheesecake Doneness
To avoid overbaking a cheesecake, check for doneness at the minimum baking time by gently shaking the pan. If the cheesecake is done, the edge should be slightly puffed and it will be set except for a small area in the center that will be soft and jiggly. Do not insert a knife into the center as this may cause the cheesecake to crack during cooling. nutritional information per serving
Calories 280 Total fat 15 g Saturated fat 8 g Cholesterol 110 mg Sodium 140 mg Carbohydrate 26 g Dietary fiber 0 g Sugars 21 g Protein 10 g Vitamin A 10 %DV Vitamin C 0 %DV Calcium 20 %DV Iron 4 %DV K:4148 v0:54666
***********************
Breakfast Tortillas This is a great dish anytime, but a perfect dish to serve for brunch. Serves: 3
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes
1/2 pound ground sausage
1 cup fresh or frozen cranberries, coarsely chopped
1/3 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup chopped green bell pepper
monterey jack shredded cheese
three 8 inch flour tortillas
Lightly brown sausage meat in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add cranberries, onion and green pepper. Continue cooking until sausage is cooked and onions are tender. Sprinkle cheese over top of meat; cook until melted. Distribute evenly down the middle of each tortilla. Fold sides of tortilla over filling. *********************** Chicken, Mushroom & Wild Rice Casserole In Minnesota, chicken, mushrooms and wild rice are often bound together in a casserole with cream of mushroom soup. We forgo the sodium-rich canned soup and make a light, creamy sauce that gets depth of flavor from dry sherry and Parmesan cheese. If you already have cooked chicken, use 4 cups and skip Step 2. 8 servings
Active Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 3/4 hours Ingredients 2 cups water
1/2 cup wild rice
2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, trimmed
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 leeks, chopped and rinsed
1 1/2 pounds mushrooms, sliced
1 cup dry sherry (see Note)
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups low-fat milk
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup reduced-fat sour cream
1/3 cup chopped flat-leaf parsley
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
2 cups frozen French-cut green beans
1/2 cup sliced almonds Preparation
Combine water and rice in a small heavy saucepan; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to maintain a simmer, and cook until tender, 35 to 40 minutes. Drain.
Meanwhile, place chicken in a large skillet or saucepan. Add lightly salted water to cover and bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat and simmer gently until the chicken is cooked through and no longer pink in the middle, 10 to 15 minutes. Transfer to a clean cutting board and let cool.
Heat oil in a Dutch oven or large high-sided skillet over medium heat. Add leeks and cook, stirring occasionally, until just starting to brown, 4 to 5 minutes. Add mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, until their liquid has been released and has evaporated, 12 to 14 minutes. Add sherry, increase heat to high and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated, 5 to 7 minutes. Sprinkle the vegetables with flour and stir to coat. Add milk; bring to a simmer and cook for 1 minute, stirring. Stir in Parmesan, sour cream, parsley, salt and pepper. Remove from the heat.
Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat a 9-by-13-inch (or similar 3-quart) baking dish with cooking spray.
Cut the chicken into bite-size pieces. Spread the rice in an even layer in the prepared baking dish. Top with the chicken, then green beans. Pour the sauce over the top and spread evenly. Sprinkle with almonds.
Bake the casserole until it is bubbling and the almonds are golden brown, about 30 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving. Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Prepare through Step 5; cover and refrigerate for up to 2 days or freeze for up to 1 month (defrost in the refrigerator for 2 days before baking). Let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes, then bake at 350°F for about 1 hour.
Note: Sherry is a type of fortified wine originally from southern Spain. “Cooking sherry†sold in many supermarkets can be high in sodium. Instead, get dry sherry that’s sold with other fortified wines at your wine or liquor store. Nutrition
Per serving: 371 calories; 13 g fat (4 g sat, 7 g mono); 76 mg cholesterol; 25 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 34 g protein; 4 g fiber; 469 mg sodium; 796 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Potassium (23% daily value), Calcium & Magnesium (21% dv), Vitamin A (20% dv), Folate (18% dv), Zinc (17% dv), Iron & Vitamin C (16% dv). 1 1/2 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 1 starch, 1 vegetable, 3 lean meat, 1 fat *********************** Beef & Cabbage Stir-Fry with Peanut Sauce The subtly sweet peanut sauce blends deliciously in this beef, cabbage and carrot sauté. Spice up the dish with a few dashes of your favorite hot sauce. Serve with udon noodles.
4 servings
Active Time: 40 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes
Ingredients
1/4 cup smooth natural peanut butter
1/3 cup orange juice
3 tablespoons reduced-sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon rice vinegar
2 teaspoons sugar
4 teaspoons canola oil, divided
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 pound sirloin steak, trimmed and thinly sliced (see Tip)
1 small head Savoy cabbage, thinly sliced
2-5 tablespoons water
2 medium carrots, grated
1/4 cup chopped unsalted roasted peanuts, (optional) Preparation
Whisk peanut butter, orange juice, soy sauce, vinegar and sugar in a medium bowl until smooth.
Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a wok or large skillet over medium-high heat. Add garlic and cook, stirring, until fragrant, 30 seconds. Add steak and cook, stirring, until browned and barely pink in the middle, 2 to 4 minutes. Transfer to a bowl.
Reduce heat to medium. Swirl in the remaining 2 teaspoons oil. Add cabbage and 2 tablespoons water; cook, stirring, until beginning to wilt, 3 to 5 minutes. Add carrots (and more water if necessary to prevent sticking or burning) and cook, stirring, until just tender, about 3 minutes more. Return the steak and any accumulated juices to the pan, then pour in the peanut sauce and toss to combine. Serve sprinkled with peanuts (if using). Tips & Notes
Tip: For thinly sliced beef, freeze for 30 minutes to make it easier to cut into very thin slices. Nutrition
Per serving: 364 calories; 17 g fat (3 g sat, 5 g mono); 42 mg cholesterol; 23 g carbohydrates; 2 g added sugars; 31 g protein; 7 g fiber; 469 mg sodium; 866 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin A (140% daily value), Vitamin C (110% dv), Folate (40% dv), Potassium (25% dv), Magnesium (19% dv). 1 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 2 vegetable, 3 lean meat, 2 fat ********************** Roast Pork Loin with Red Cabbage, Apples, and Onions Makes: 6 servings Prep: 25 minutes
Start to Finish: 2 hours 10 minutes
Ingredients
2-1/2 pounds red and yellow onions, cut into 1/2-inch-thick wedges
1 piece (1 lb.) red cabbage, cut crosswise into 1/2-inch-thick slices, separated
10 garlic cloves (6 whole cloves and 4 coarsely chopped)
3 tablespoons olive oil
5 slices firm white sandwich bread
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh sage, plus fresh leaves for garnish
1 (3 lbs.) center-cut boneless pork loin with thin layer of fat
1/4 cup Dijon mustard, plus additional to serve on the side
2 pounds apples (Granny Smith, Rome, or Empire), halved, cored, and halves cut into thirds
1 tablespoon cider vinegar or to taste Directions 1. Toss onions, cabbage, whole garlic cloves, and 2 tablespoons oil together in a large heavy roasting pan; season with salt. 2. Tear bread and pulse in a food processor or blender with chopped garlic and sage until coarsely ground. Season with salt and pepper. 3. Preheat oven to 450 degree F. Rinse and pat pork dry; season with salt and pepper. heat a large skillet with remaining 1 tablespoon oil over moderately high heat and brown pork on all sides, about 5 minutes. Place pork, fat side up, in center of roasting pan over onion mixture; spread mustard over top of pork. Sprinkle bread crumb mixture over mustard, pressing to adhere. 4. Roast pork 20 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 400 degree F; add apples to pan and roast 1 to 1-1/4 hours more, until an instant-read thermometer inserted in center of pork registers 145 degree F, tenting with foil if browning too quickly. 5. Transfer pork in pan to rack; let stand 15 minutes before carving into 1/4-inch-thick slices. 6. Meanwhile, transfer onion mixture to a bowl and stir in vinegar; salt and pepper to taste. 7. Serve pork slices over onion mixture and garnish with fresh sage. Makes 6 servings. Nutrition Facts
Servings Per Recipe 6 servings Calories775, Total Fat (g)37.5, Saturated Fat (g)11, Cholesterol (mg)153, Sodium (mg)533, Carbohydrate (g)57, Fiber (g)9, Protein (g)53, Vitamin A (DV%)0, Vitamin C (DV%)0, Calcium (DV%)0, Iron (DV%)0, Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet
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Easy Salmon Cakes 4 servings
Active Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes Ingredients
3 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 stalk celery, finely diced
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
15 ounces canned salmon, drained, or 1 1/2 cups cooked salmon
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 1/2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1 3/4 cups fresh whole-wheat breadcrumbs, (see Tip)
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper Creamy Dill Sauce, (recipe follows)
1 lemon, cut into wedges Preparation
Preheat oven to 450°F. Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray.
Heat 1 1/2 teaspoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and celery; cook, stirring, until softened, about 3 minutes. Stir in parsley; remove from the heat.
Place salmon in a medium bowl. Flake apart with a fork; remove any bones and skin. Add egg and mustard; mix well. Add the onion mixture, breadcrumbs and pepper; mix well. Shape the mixture into 8 patties, about 2 1/2 inches wide.
Heat remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons oil in the pan over medium heat. Add 4 patties and cook until the undersides are golden, 2 to 3 minutes. Using a wide spatula, turn them over onto the prepared baking sheet. Repeat with the remaining patties.
Bake the salmon cakes until golden on top and heated through, 15 to 20 minutes. Meanwhile, prepare Creamy Dill Sauce. Serve salmon cakes with sauce and lemon wedges. Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Prepare through Step 3. Cover and refrigerate for up to 8 hours. Tip: To make fresh breadcrumbs: Trim crusts from firm sandwich bread. Tear the bread into pieces and process in a food processor until coarse crumbs form. One slice makes about 1/3 cup. Nutrition
Per serving: 324 calories; 10 g fat (1 g sat, 3 g mono); 129 mg cholesterol; 21 g carbohydrates; 31 g protein; 7 g fiber; 585 mg sodium; 97 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: 27% dv fiber, 171 mg calcium (15% dv). 1 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 1 1/2 starch, 1/2 vegetable, 3 1/2 lean protein, 1 fat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Creamy Dill Sauce Cutting mayonnaise with yogurt is an excellent technique for reducing calories and fat. Here, it makes a simple sauce that goes perfectly with delicate preparations. About 1/2 cup
Active Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes Ingredients
1/4 cup reduced-fat mayonnaise
1/4 cup nonfat plain yogurt
2 scallions, thinly sliced
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh dill, or parsley
Freshly ground pepper, to taste Preparation
Combine mayonnaise, yogurt, scallions, lemon juice, dill (or parsley) and pepper in a small bowl and mix well. Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 2 days. Nutrition
Per tablespoon: 28 calories; 2 g fat (0 g sat, 0 g mono); 2 mg cholesterol; 2 g carbohydrates; 0 g protein; 0 g fiber; 50 mg sodium; 13 mg potassium. Exchanges: free food ********************** A THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. -Ben Hecht, screenwriter, playwright, novelist, director, and producer (1894-1964)
"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy."
- Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
Encouragement "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."1
Alexandra Kropotkin, in an article titled, "Homemade," described the death of her friend as follows: "One day a millionaire of my acquaintance, whose pride it was never to offer a tip for any service, faced an unforgettable tragedy. His chief accountant committed suicide. The books were found to be in perfect order; the affairs of the dead man, a modest bachelor, were prosperous and calm. The only letter left by the accountant was a brief note to his millionaire employer. It read: 'In 30 years I have never had one word of encouragement. I'm fed up."'2
It never ceases to amaze me that so many people don't bother to say thank you to the many people who help them or do something for them. I often hold a door open for someone who is following me into a store, the Post Office, or the bank, some of whom walk through without saying a word. Whenever I see our mailman, I always thank him and let him know how much I appreciate his service. I do this to lots of people.
And do we often say thank you and give a word of encouragement to our spouse, our children, our friends, our employer, and to our employees? If we all do this on a daily basis, we can make an impact on the world in which we live. Whether it is a kind word or a kind deed, in the words of Charles Dudley Warner, "It is one of the beautiful compensations of this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
In the Bible a man named Joseph was given the name of Barnabas because it means, "Son of Encouragement." Let's all be a Barnabas to someone today. Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be a Barnabas in some way today (and every day) to every life I touch. May I also be known as a son or daughter of encouragement. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." 1. Proverbs 16:24 (NIV). ****************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: embarrass • im-BAIR-us • verb 1 : to confuse or disconcert 2 : to involve in financial difficulties 3 : to cause to experience self-conscious distress 4 : to hinder or impede Examples: She embarrassed her grandson by showing his baby pictures to his friends. "She wasn't about to embarrass herself in front of a man she hardly knew. Gracie had learned years ago that if she couldn't make herself invisible, a tough exterior was her second best defense." -- From Lorelle Marinello's 2010 novel Salting Roses Did you know? If you've ever been so embarrassed that you felt like you were caught up in a noose of shame you may have some insight into the origins of the word "embarrass." The word can be traced back through French and Spanish to the Portuguese word "embaraçar," which was itself probably formed as a combination of the prefix . ************************ Overnight Cherry Danish
36 Servings Prep: 1-1/2 hours + rising Bake: 15 min. Ingredients
2 packages (1/4 ounce each) active dry yeast
1/2 cup warm 2% milk (110° to 115°)
6 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
2 teaspoons salt
1 cup cold butter, cubed
1-1/2 cups warm half-and-half cream (110° to 115°)
6 egg yolks, lightly beaten
1 can (21 ounces) cherry pie filling ICING:
2 tablespoons butter, softened
3 cups confectioners' sugar
1/4 teaspoon Spice Island Pure Vanilla Extract
Dash salt
4 to 5 tablespoons half-and-half cream Directions
In a small bowl, dissolve yeast in warm milk. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar and salt. Cut in butter until crumbly. Add the yeast mixture, cream and egg yolks; stir until mixture forms a soft dough (dough will be sticky). Cover and refrigerate overnight.
Punch down dough; divide into quarters. Roll each portion into an 18-in. x 4-in. rectangle; cut into 1-in. x 4-in. strips.
Place two strips side by side; twist together. Shape into a ring; pinch ends together. Repeat with remaining strips. Place 2 in. apart on greased baking sheets. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 45 minutes.
Using the end of a wooden spoon handle, make a 1/2-in.-deep indentation in the center of each roll. Fill each with about 1 tablespoon pie filling.
Bake at 350° for 14-16 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from pans to wire racks to cool.
For icing, in a large bowl, beat butter until fluffy. Gradually beat in the confectioners' sugar, vanilla, salt and enough cream to achieve a drizzling consistency. Drizzle over rolls. Yield: 3 dozen. Nutrition Facts: 1 Danish equals 218 calories, 8 g fat (5 g saturated fat), 55 mg cholesterol, 188 mg sodium, 33 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 3 g protein. ******************** Chocolate Chip Cheese Ball 16 Servings Prep: 10 min. + chilling
Ingredients
1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
2 tablespoons brown sugar
3/4 cup HERSHEY’S Mini Chips Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
3/4 cup finely chopped pecans
Graham crackers Directions
In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese, butter and vanilla until fluffy. Gradually add sugars; beat just until combined. Stir in chocolate chips. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours.
Place cream cheese mixture on a large piece of plastic wrap; shape into a ball. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour.
Just before serving, roll cheese ball in pecans. Serve with graham crackers. Yield: 1 cheese ball (about 2 cups). Nutrition Facts: 1 serving (2 tablespoons) equals 206 calories, 17 g fat (8 g saturated fat), 31 mg cholesterol, 101 mg sodium, 14 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 2 g protein. ********************* Challah This traditional Jewish egg bread is quite versatile — it makes for fluffy French toast, tender bread pudding, or a variety of outstanding sandwiches. Challah's gorgeous golden hue is attributed to a generous egg wash before baking. Yields: 2 loaves Total Time: 3 hr
Prep Time: 40 min
Cook Time: 40 min
Oven Temp: 400
Ingredients
3 teaspoon(s) active dry yeast
1/4 cup(s) sugar
4 cup(s) all-purpose flour
4 egg yolks
1 whole(s) egg
1/4 cup(s) (1/2 stick) butter, melted
1 teaspoon(s) salt Directions
Stir the yeast, sugar, and 3/4 cup warm water (110 degrees F) together and let sit for 5 minutes until bubbly.
Place the flour in a large mixing bowl.
Beat 3 egg yolks, the egg, butter, and salt together. Stir the yeast and egg mixtures into the flour until a shaggy dough forms. (Add up to 1/4 cup more water if needed.)
Turn the dough onto a floured surface and knead until smooth and supple. Form into a ball, place in a lightly oiled bowl, cover with a clean towel, and let rise in a warm, draft-free space until doubled in volume, about 40 minutes.
Punch down the dough and evenly divide into 6 pieces. Roll each into a 12-inch-long rope. (Keep all other pieces covered with a clean towel while working.) Loosely braid 3 ropes together, pinch the ends to seal, and transfer to a lightly oiled baking pan. Repeat. Cover with towel and let rise in a warm, draft-free space for 1 hour.
Heat oven to 400 degrees F.
Beat the remaining egg yolk with 1 teaspoon water and lightly brush each loaf with the mixture. Place loaves in oven, reduce temperature to 350 degrees F, and bake until loaves sound hollow when tapped and are golden brown, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely on wire racks.
Tips & Techniques
Working in a room that is about 70 degrees F is ideal when baking bread.
*******************
CRAB AND SHRIMP SALAD Serves 4 to 6 3/4 pound fresh crabmeat, preferably from stone crabs from the Atlantic or Gulf of Mexico
3/4 pound domestic wild-caught pink shrimp, cooked
1/2 cup Tartar Sauce (recipe follows)
1/3 cup minced fresh organic chives, plus 1 tablespoon extra for garnish
1/3 cup finely diced red onion
6 cups mixed organic baby greens
3 ripe tomatoes, stemmed and thinly sliced
6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Sugar
1 ripe but firm avocado, halved, pitted, peeled, and cut lengthwise into thin slices
1 tablespoon minced parsley With your fingertips, pick through the crabmeat to remove any pieces of shell or cartilage. Transfer the crabmeat to a mixing bowl. Pick through the shrimp to remove any fragments of shell, and then add the shrimp to the crabmeat. Add the Tartar Sauce, chives, and red onion to the bowl. Gently fold the ingredients together until the seafood, chives, and onion are well mixed and evenly coated with the dressing. If not serving immediately, cover and refrigerate. On 4 chilled main-course salad plates or 6 chilled appetizer salad plates, attractively arrange beds of the baby greens. Scoop the seafood salad in mounds on the center of each bed of greens. Arrange the tomato slices attractively around the seafood salad and season them with just a pinch of sugar. Arrange the avocado slices attractively among the tomato slices; then, season both the avocado and tomatoes with salt and pepper to taste and drizzle them lightly with the olive oil. Garnish each plate with the remaining chives and the parsley and serve immediately. TARTAR SAUCE
Makes about 1-1/2 cups 1-1/2 cups store-bought mayonnaise
1 tablespoon chopped cornichons (tiny French-style dill pickles)
1 tablespoon small rinsed and drained capers
1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon
1 tablespoon chopped fresh chives
1/2 teaspoon sugar Put the mayonnaise in a mixing bowl. With a spoon or a wire whisk, stir in the cornichons, capers, tarragon, chives, and sugar until thoroughly blended. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until ready to use, up to 3 days.
*************************
10 Funny Jokes about New Year's Resolutions:
Spending more time with family:
Families are complicated enough, but things became even more confusing after my father decided to get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my child is my daughter or my niece." -- Oscar Reagan
Getting in shape:
A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what "runner's euphoria" was. "Runner's euphoria," he explained, "is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays." -- Neil P. Budge Starting that diet:
My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you." -- Katina Fisher Quitting smoking:
I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to "be cool." As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, "Hey, I'll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?" -- Judi Moore Eating healthier:
The teacher in our Bible class asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!' " she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month—until you loathe it." When the woman finished, she paused, looked up, and said, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?" -- David Martino Reducing your debt:
Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher. I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately. “You see where they’re smoothing that cement?†he replied. “I just threw my wife’s credit cards in there.†-- R. Horn Learning new things:
I was trying to decide what to do for a talent show I planned to enter. Trusting my mother to help me out, I asked, "For the show, what do you think I should do, sing or put on a comedy act?" Glancing up from her paper, she said dryly, "What's the difference?" -- Kimmie Helk Better teeth care:
Just because one owns a business doesn't mean it has to be all business. This sign in a dentist's office proves that point: "Be True to Your Teeth, or They Will Be False to You." -- James Wertz
Becoming more organized:
My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath." I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest." -- Mary I. Costain Drinking less
I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. "Have you ever heard of a drink called 'Seven Young Blondes'?" I asked. He admitted he'd never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he'd be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. "Sir," I asked the customer, "can you tell me what's in that drink?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pronouncing his words carefully, "Sauvignon blanc." -- Christie Eckels ***************************************** A new blonde joke!!!
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!' The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?'
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.
Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration.....
SHIT! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!
***************************** How to Lock Your Car and Why…Not a Joke! I locked my car. As I walked away I heard my car door unlock. I went back and locked my car again…three times. Each time, as soon as I started to walk away, I would hear it unlock again!! Naturally alarmed, I looked around and there were two guys sitting in a car in the fire lane next to the store. They were obviously watching me intently, and there was no doubt they were somehow involved in this very weird situation.
I quickly chucked the errand I was on, jumped in my car and sped away. I went straight to the police station, told them what had happened, and found out I was part of a new, and very successful, scheme being used to gain entry into cars.
Two weeks later, my friend's son had a similar happening. While traveling, my friend's son stopped at a roadside rest to use the bathroom. When he came out to his car less than 4-5 minutes later, someone had gotten into his car and stolen his cell phone, laptop computer, GPS navigator, briefcase…you name it. He called the police and since there were no signs of his car being broken into, the police told him he had been a victim of the latest robbery tactic—there is a device that robbers are using now to clone your security code when you lock your doors on your car using your key-chain locking device. They sit a distance away and watch for their next victim. They know you are going inside of the store, restaurant, or bathroom and that they now have a few minutes to steal and run. The police officer said to manually lock your car door—by hitting the lock button inside the car—that way if there is someone sitting in a parking lot watching for their next victim, it will not be you. When you hit the lock button on your car upon exiting, it does not send the security code, but if you walk away and use the door lock on your key chain, it sends the code through the airwaves where it can be instantly stolen.
This is very real. Be wisely aware of what you just read and please pass this note on. Look how many times we all lock our doors with our remote just to be sure we remembered to lock them—and bingo, someone has our code....and whatever was in our car. *************************** TODAY'S PET TIP Medication Toxicity
Some common medications can have serious effects on animals if not used correctly. If your pet has ingested an unprescribed medication, contact your veterinarian or local veterinary emergency facility. Give the name of the medication, how many and what dose your pet received, what time the ingestion could have occurred, as well as pet information such as breed, age and another health problems he/she may have. You may receive instructions of what to do at home or what to watch for. In some situations, emergency examination and treatment are crucial.
**************************
The statistics are sobering - 1 in every 3 dogs will suffer from cancer. This makes cancer the #1 killer of dogs over 2 years of age. But cancer doesn't have to be a death sentence.... Statistics say that 50% of all dogs with cancer will die from the disease, but the other half will live! When certain canine cancers are discovered early, the probability of a positive outcome is much higher. Routine veterinary care and wellness screenings are the best way to detect these kinds of problems early on, so make sure that your dog is seen by his vet on a regular basis. Early detection is vital to the successful treatment of canine cancer. So today, I want to tell you the warning signs you should be monitoring for. Here are the Top 10 Signs of Cancer in Small Animals from the American Veterinary Medical Association: Abnormal swellings that persist or continue to grow
Sores that do not heal
Weight loss
Loss of appetite
Bleeding or discharge from any body opening
Offensive odor
Difficulty eating or swallowing
Hesitation to exercise or loss of stamina
Persistent lameness or stiffness
Difficulty breathing, urinating or defecating Finally, I want to talk about the cost of treatment. As you can imagine, cancer care is expensive. That is why I frequently tell my PetPlace subscribers about the importance of planning ahead and considering pet insurance. In my opinion, this is the best way to make sure you will always be able to provide for your dog's medical needs and give him the very best medical treatment. So I urge you to take a minute today to learn about the benefits of pet insurance and get an instant quote. During these tough economic times, pet insurance is more important than ever. So please plan ahead. It could mean the difference between life and death for your dog. *** NOTE FROM GRAMIE STOREY:
I just got a dog from Greenville Animal Shelter, Greenville, SC (yes one of those wicked places that catches your dog and then puts it to sleep if you dont reclaim it in so many days, well I didnt get just one dog, I walked out of there with 3. Daisy a Boxer - Stratford terrior Mix will be a year old on Jan 16, 2011 so She is a puppy has been micro chipped and fixed . . when i got there to pick up the one i went for, she was in the room to be put down, when I mentioned I would take one more that was to be put down that day. . they went and got her special along with a small red looking terrior (he is 3 years old and looks to me like a mixed long hair daushound) plus I got my Shagster a 10 year old blind shitzu that is of course fixed and probably hasnt got many years to go. He too was to be put down yesterday. In the adoption papers I got a month free of health insurance for each dog if I called a certain number. . looking at the information come to find out the pet insurance is only $19.95 a year. . hmmm that verses maybe $500.00 for a visit due to a sickess or accident. . hmm thinking here. . .maybe I need to be checking in on that. . maybe gotta think on this one ..... ************************** If Dogs Could Talk: A Dog's Top Ten New Year's Resolution List By: Courtesy of American Kennel Club
This New Years – the American Kennel Club published a clever article on dogs New Years Resolutions. As you know, New Year's is traditionally is a time to reflect on our past, and more importantly, look forward to the changes we want to make in the coming year. In addition to your own New Year's resolutions, your dog might have a few of his own. The American Kennel Club® (AKC), the dog's champion, reflects on some resolutions your dog might be thinking about for 2010. Top 10 Resolutions by Dogs include: 10. Owner on floor, dog in bed.
9. Stop begging and actually get a seat at the dinner table.
8. Give up the dream of ever catching my tail.
7. Bark like a big dog but still get cuddled on lap like a little dog.
6. Get back at cat for litter box incident.
5. Find every bone I ever buried.
4. No more haircuts! (Come fall, I can go as a Komondor for Halloween).
3. Become alpha dog in my house. Well, at least stop letting the cat push me around.
2. Invent goggles that allow me to see the electric fence.
1. Finally pass that darn AKC Canine Good Citizen test.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
I'll See You in the Morning
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot."1
Some time ago when Dr. W. A Criswell was pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dallas Texas, he told how on an airplane flight he was sitting beside and visiting with a well-known theologian. The man told how he had lost a son who, one day, had come home from school with a fever that he and his wife thought was just a childhood sickness. Sadly it turned out to be meningitis. The doctor gave no hope for the boy's survival. Near the end when the professor was sitting at his son's bedside, the child said, "Daddy, it's getting dark isn't it?" The professor answered, "Yes, son, it is getting dark, very dark." "Daddy, I guess it's time for me to go to sleep isn't it?" the boy continued. "Yes, son, it's time for you to go to sleep." As the child fixed the pillow on his bed as best he could in his weakened condition and, putting his head on his hands, said, "Good night, Daddy. I will see you in the morning." Those were the last words the professor's son said as he closed his eyes in death and passed from this life to enter God's heaven. For a long time, Dr. Criswell said, the professor just sat looking out the window of the airplane. Later he turned again and, looking at Dr. Criswell, with tears in his eyes, said, "Dr. Criswell, I can hardly wait till the morning." Dear reader, are you sure that you are ready for God's heaven so that when you go, your loved ones will also be able to say, "I'll see you in the morning?" Or, if your loved ones go first, you will be able to say to them with certainty, "I'll see you in the morning." If not, be sure to read the article, "How to Be Sure You're a Real Christian—without having to be religious" at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian. Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you for the assurance of Heaven that you have promised to all who accept your Son, Jesus, as their Savior. Please help me to know that I am ready to meet you face to face so that I will see all of my loved ones who've gone before. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." 1. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 (NIV).
Luke 2:28-32
“Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying: “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of your people Israel.â€â€
***************************** Word for the Day: embarrass • im-BAIR-us • verb
1 : to confuse or disconcert 2 : to involve in financial difficulties 3 : to cause to experience self-conscious distress 4 : to hinder or impede Examples:
She embarrassed her grandson by showing his baby pictures to his friends. "She wasn't about to embarrass herself in front of a man she hardly knew. Gracie had learned years ago that if she couldn't make herself invisible, a tough exterior was her second best defense." -- From Lorelle Marinello's 2010 novel Salting Roses ***************************** How to Survive the Holidays - Holiday Humor New Year's Eve Jokes
My brother drinks a toast on holidays: "Here's to our holidays, all 365 of them!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The New Year's Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous guests coming and going. At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement. He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host, "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway." The guest continued, "My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I think women get more excited about New Year¹s Eve than men. If you think about it, you can see why. What do you do on New Year¹s Eve? You get drunk and make a lot of promises you don¹t keep. You see, men do that all the time, it¹s called dating." - Jay Leno -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What is the definition of a hangover? A: The wrath of grapes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Green met during a party. After an hour talking and drinking Mrs. Smith told her friend, "They call my husband 'The Exorcist.'" With a great surprise Mrs. Green asked her, "Why?" She replied, "At every party we attend, he soon gets rid of all the spirits." ****************************** The punishments in hell
A man dies, and he's looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, "Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that's his punishment." The man looks around a little more and sees Bill Clinton with a beautiful model. The stunned guy asks "What's Bill Clinton doing with that model?" The devil replied, "Well, that model did some pretty bad things in her life." *************************** PET TIPS: Dogs and cats commonly eat things that they shouldn't. The problem is that many items can't be digested or passed through the intestine causing a dangerous "foreign body obstruction". An indigestible object can become lodged in the stomach or intestines, and oftentimes it may require surgery to remove it. Untreated, ingestion of these types of items can be fatal. Dogs often chew and swallow things they shouldn't - any pet owner can attest to that. What are the items that most often must be surgically removed from pets? Do you know? Do you know what is #1? It is the sock! According to Veterinary Pet Insurance (VPI), the nation's oldest and largest provider of pet health insurance, here are the Top 10 items that are surgically removed from pets: Top 10 Surgically Removed Items 1. Socks
2. Underwear
3. Pantyhose
4. Rocks
5. Balls
6. Chew Toys
7. Corn Cobs
8. Bones
9. Hair Ties/Ribbons
10. Sticks The cost of treatment for this type of problem can be expensive. It ranges from $800.00 to $1,740.00 depending on the severity of the illness and extensiveness of the surgery. This is a lot of money, but the surgery is necessary to save the pet's life. Finally, I know it can be hard in most busy households, but please make sure you keep items picked up that might "interest" your dog. Socks, underwear and pantyhose are the top three items... so make sure that you don't leave them within your dog's reach. TODAY'S PET TIP
Dogs that Drool
Why do dogs drool? Drooling can be normal in some dogs, especially some breeds such as Great Danes or Basset Hounds. Excessive drooling can occur in any dog and can be caused by a variety of reasons. For example, some dogs may drool when they smell certain foods or are excited. Other dogs will drool if they are nauseated or have an oral abnormality such as a dental problem or something caught in their mouths.
************************** Angel Biscuit Rolls Prep Time: 10 Minutes
Cook Time: 20 Minutes Ready In: 30 Minutes
Servings: 24
"These delicate, sweet yeast biscuits do not need to rise, making them quick and easy to prepare and enjoy." Ingredients:
5 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup white sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt 1 cup shortening
1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
1/4 cup warm water (110 degrees F/45
degrees C)
2 cups buttermilk
2 tablespoons butter, melted Directions:
1. Dissolve yeast in warm water.
2. Sift together flour, sugar, soda, baking powder, and salt. Add buttermilk and dissolved yeast. Add shortening and stir. Store dough, covered, in the fridge until ready to use.
3. Roll out on a lightly floured surface or shape into balls--these do not need to rise. Brush tops of biscuits with melted butter.
4. Bake at 400 degrees F (205 degrees C) for 15-20 minutes.
***************************
Apple-Bacon Pancakes with Cider Syrup If you like apple pancakes and you like bacon, you’ll love the taste of these sweet, smoky pancakes. Any kind of apple works well. A quick cider syrup drizzled on top enhances the apple flavor. 4 servings, 2 pancakes & 2 tablespoons syrup each.
Active Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes Ingredients
1/2 cup apple cider
3 tablespoons packed light brown sugar, divided
1 1/2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch
1/2 cup whole-wheat pastry flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 large egg
1 large egg white
1/2 cup nonfat buttermilk
1 medium apple, peeled and finely diced, (about 1 cup)
4 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled
1 teaspoon canola oil, divided
Preparation
Combine cider, 2 tablespoons brown sugar, lemon juice and cornstarch in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat, whisking, and cook until thickened, 1 to 2 minutes. Set aside. Whisk whole-wheat flour, all-purpose flour, baking powder, baking soda and the remaining 1 tablespoon brown sugar in a small bowl. Whisk egg, egg white and buttermilk in a large bowl. Stir in the dry ingredients, apples and bacon until just combined. (The batter will be thick.) Brush a large nonstick skillet with 1/2 teaspoon oil and place over medium heat until hot. Cooking 4 at a time, use about 1/4 cup batter for each pancake and gently spread it to make them about 3 inches in diameter. Cook until the edges are dry and bubbles begin to form, about 2 minutes. Flip the pancakes and cook until golden brown, 1 to 2 minutes more. Repeat with the remaining oil and batter, reducing the heat as necessary to prevent burning. Reheat the cider syrup, if desired, and serve with the pancakes.
Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate the syrup (Step 1) for up to 1 week. Reheat on low before serving.
Nutrition
Per serving: 256 calories; 6 g fat (2 g sat, 3 g mono); 63 mg cholesterol; 40 g carbohydrates; 9 g protein; 2 g fiber; 465 mg sodium; 165 mg potassium. 3 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 1 1/2 starch, 1/2 fruit, 1 other carbohydrate, 1 fat ****************************** Breakfast Strudel Yield: Serves 8. INGREDIENTS: 3 tablespoons butter, divided
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup milk
1/2 cup grated cheddar or Swiss cheese
A pinch of pepper
A pinch of ground nutmeg
1/4 pound sausage
6 eggs
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
3/4 cup butter, melted
8 phyllo dough sheets
1/2 cup dried bread crumbs
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley for garnish
Melt 2 tablespoons of the butter over low heat, add the flour, and cook, stirring constantly, for 3 minutes. Gradually whisk in the milk, increase the heat, and cook until the mixture comes to a boil. Remove from the heat, stir in the cheese, pepper, and nutmeg, and pour into a bowl. Crumble the sausage into a skillet and cook over medium heat until it is no longer pink, but do not brown. Drain and add to the cheese sauce. Beat the eggs and thyme together and cook in the remaining 1 tablespoon butter until just set. Add to the sausage-cheese sauce and cool completely. (This may be done the night before, refrigerated, and brought to room temperature when ready to bake.) Brush 1 sheet of phyllo dough with some of the melted butter. Sprinkle with 1 tablespoon bread crumbs and fold in half lengthwise. Brush with butter and spoon about 1/3 cup of the sausage-cheese filling along one short end, leaving a 3/4-inch border along the edges empty. Fold the edges over, starting at the end with the filling, and roll to make a neat package. Place on a greased cookie sheet and brush with butter. Repeat with the remaining ingredients. Bake in a preheated 375 degree oven for 15 minutes. Garnish with the parsley.
************************** Breakfast Tortillas This is a great dish anytime, but a perfect dish to serve for brunch. Serves: 3 Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes 1/2 pound ground sausage
1 cup fresh or frozen cranberries, coarsely chopped
1/3 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup chopped green bell pepper
monterey jack shredded cheese
three 8 inch flour tortillas Lightly brown sausage meat in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add cranberries, onion and green pepper. Continue cooking until sausage is cooked and onions are tender. Sprinkle cheese over top of meat; cook until melted. Distribute evenly down the middle of each tortilla. Fold sides of tortilla over filling. ************************** Country Grits and Sausage Casserole 2 cups water
1/2 cup quick-cooking grits, uncooked
3 1/2 cups shredded extra-sharp Cheddar cheese
4 eggs, lightly beaten (garnish)
1 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon dried whole thyme
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1 1/2 pounds mild bulk pork sausage,
cooked, crumbled and drained
Tomato wedges (for garnish)
Fresh parsley sprigs (for garnish) Bring water to boil; stir in grits. Return to boil; reduce heat to low, and cook 4 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add cheese, stirring until melted. Combine eggs, milk, thyme and garlic powder; stir well. Gradually stir about one-fourth of hot grits mixture into egg mixture; add to remaining hot mixture, stirring constantly. Stir in sausage. Pour into a lightly greased 11 x 7-inch baking dish. At this point, you can refrigerate for up to 8 hours. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees F for 50 minutes or until set. Garnish, if desired. Yields 6 to 8 servings. ************************** Pumpkin Whoopie Pies Yield: 6 pies Preparation Time: 20 Start to Finish Time: 40 For the pies:
1 stick unsalted butter, melted, cooled to room temperature
1 cup packed light-brown sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten
1 cup canned pure pumpkin purée
2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons ground ginger
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1-2/3 cups flour Heat oven to 350°. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
In the bowl of a standing mixer with whisk attachment, mix together butter and brown sugar until smooth. Add eggs, pumpkin purée, spices, vanilla, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Using a spatula, fold in flour. With an ice-cream scoop, drop 6 generous mounds of batter, spaced evenly, onto each of the two baking sheets. Bake until springy to the touch, about 10 minutes. Transfer to a rack to cool completely.
For the filling:
8 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
1/2 stick unsalted butter, softened
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons maple syrup
3/4 cup powdered sugar
a few pinches salt In the bowl of a standing mixer or electric beater, cream together cream cheese and butter. Add vanilla, maple syrup, powdered sugar, and salt. Mix on low speed until blended; then beat on medium-high speed until fluffy, about 2 minutes. Spread the flat sides of 6 cakes with cream-cheese frosting. Top each with another cake. ************** New Year in Europe
France - New Year's Eve is: La Saint-Sylvestre Jour de l'An (New Year's Day) The French call New Year's Eve La Saint-Sylvestre. It is celebrated with a feast called le Réveillon de Saint-Sylvestre. This tradition includes dishes such as foie gras washed down with champagne. The event can be a dinner with friends and family or a communal ball (une soirée dansante). Following la Saint-Sylvestre is Jour de l'An (New Year's Day); this is a time for meeting friends and family and exchanging good wishes and maybe gifts. The French round off the holiday season on Epiphany. Italy - La Festa di San Silvestro Germany - Saint Sylvester Chaul Chnam Thmey - Cambodia Omisoka - Japan German New Year Tradition - Neujahrsbräuche ?Bleigießen pronounced BLYE-ghee-sen) 'Lead pouring' (das Bleigießen) is an old custom where sages read molten lead, much like mystics read tea leaves. What they do is melt a lead cherry sized piece of lead a tablespoon (by holding a flame under the spoon) and then poured the molten lead into a bowl of water. The resulting pattern is interpreted to predict the coming year. Common interpretations include, a ball (der Ball), indicates that luck will roll your way. What people fear is any sign of a cross pattern (das Kreuz) as that signifies a death. ************** Funny New Year Resolutions I will polish my pate - Bald person
I will do less laundry and use more deodorant. - Executive
I will not regale the same yarn at every get together. - Incorrigible bore
I will remember that 'Cream Cake Day' is on the 29th of every month. - Foodie
Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. - Anonymous
Also, remember: A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. Alcofrolic's Funny New Resolutions
2007: I will not take a drink before 6:00 p.m.
2008: I will not open the bottle before noon.
2009: I will not let drinking become a problem.
2010: I promise not to miss any AA meetings. Mark Twain Said
New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
*********************
Diet to Start the New Year
This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds during the day. I have found that this really works!! BREAKFAST
* 1 Grapefruit
* 1 slice whole-wheat toast
* 1 cup skim milk LUNCH
* 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
* 1 cup herbal tea
* 1 Penguin Biscuit AFTERNOON TEA
* The rest of the Penguins from the packet
* 1 tub of Gino Ginelli ice cream with chocolate topping DINNER
* 4 bottles of wine (red or white)
* 2 loaves garlic bread
* 1 family size Supreme pizza
* 3 snickers bars LATE NIGHT SNACK
* 1 whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer) FINALLY REMEMBER: "Stressed" spelled backwards is desserts".
Send this to four women and you will lose 2 kilograms.
Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew) and you will lose 10 kilograms.
IF you delete this message you will gain 10 kilograms.
***************
New Year is the world's most popularly celebrated festival. Perhaps, everybody would like to know how these celebrations began, from where it originated and what is so important about the festival. Let's give you an insight to the origin of this grand event in a brief form. Origin of New Year dates back to the era of emperors. They thought of celebrating a special day which should dot a day for beginning and end of the year. First New Year celebrations were noticed in Mesopotamia around 2000 years. It was celebrated at the time of Equinox in mid-March by the Egyptians, Persians and Phoenicians while Greeks celebrated it on winter solstice. Ancient New Year Calendar
First New Year celebrations were noticed in Mesopotamia around 2000 years. It was celebrated at the time of Equinox in mid-March by the Egyptians, Persians and Phoenicians while Greeks celebrated it on winter solstice.
As per the ancient Roman calendar New Year fell on March 1. This calendar just had ten months and March was the first month of the year. The calendar originated by the cycles of the moon, beginning in spring and ending with autumn planting. Inclusion of Two Calendar Months
It was Numa Pompilius, the second king of Rome who divided the year into twelve lunar months by adding the months of January and February. The New Year was shifted to January as it marked the beginning of the civil years in Rome. But this was not fully accepted by the people of Rome and they continued celebrating in the month of March only. January 1- an Official Date of New Year Celebrations
The Roman emperor Julius Caesar officially declared January 1 to be a New Year in 46 B.C. Romans worshiped God Janus who had two faces, one looking forward and the other looking backward. The month of January was named after this Roman God and it gave an idea to the emperor to establish January as a gate to the New Year. It is said Caesar celebrated January 1 - New Year by ordering the revolutionary Jewish forces to route back. People began New Year celebrations on January 1 after many years. They ritualized the beginning of the year by acting and re-enacting the world of the past before peace proliferated. People learned January as first month of the year and with this the tradition of following Julian calendar. Abolition of Roman New Year Date
In the medieval period, pagan festivals were given more importance and March 25 was announced as the beginning of the New Year. March 25 was called the Annunciation Day as on this day Mary got the news that she should be impregnated. Later, the King of England ensured that Jesus' birth December 25 should be commemorated as New Year. Gregorian Calendar
About 500 years later, Pope Gregory XIII abolished the old Julian calendar and introduced Gregorian calendar which comprised of a leap year after every four years to maintain balance between seasons and calendar. Finally, in 1582, Gregorian calendar was set to celebrate New Year on the first day of January. ************************* I am wishing EVERYONE a safe and happy New Year's Eve, Please do not drink and drive, have a designated driver, or call a solber person or a taxie/cabbie. . . I want you around to bore you with this bulletin each day. . lol. I wish each and EVERYONE of you a Blessed New Year full of everything you need and some of what you desire and much of what you deserve. If we all got everything we wanted then there would be no dreams or anything to desire and we would still be not be happy. . .
Lastly, I wish each and everyone of you Love and the Love that our Mother God and Father God has for us. The same Love our God's son, Jesus has for us and died for us with and carries for us this day. Much Love and Blessings Gramie Storey
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
Holiday Blues
"Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.'"1
Most of us suffer from fears, anxiety, stress, and various degrees of depression and the "blues" at various times of our life. It's when these feelings are affecting our daily functioning for extended periods, or when they are debilitating, that they become a problem for many. However, during the Christmas and holiday season depression and the "blues" increases considerably for many. This can be caused by increased stresses, the loss of income, and especially because of the loss of a loved one, broken or impaired relationships, no meaningful relationships, being away at war and/or separated from family and loved ones, and just plain old-fashioned loneliness. Unfortunately, I don't know of any simple answers for how to cope with the holiday blues when one is facing adverse circumstances. Simple, pat answers can be even more depressing. Certainly we need to trust God, but even Jesus needed personal friends and relationships—and so do we. We were created for relationships, not only with God, but also with each other. And we especially need loving, warm relationships at Christmas time—when it is meant to be "peace on earth good will toward men." I don't want to sound simplistic as I have known times of loneliness when nothing seemed to take away the pain. But if you will be alone at Christmas time, for some it can help a little if you can reach out to help someone else who might be lonely, or call some people on the phone and wish them a happy Christmas. Or invite someone to your home for Christmas dinner, or contact your (or another local church) to see if they have a program for the lonely at Christmas that you could attend, or better still, that you could help with. I would like to think that most churches put on a special family style dinner for the lonely at Christmas or have a program where members open their homes for the lonely during the holidays. Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be sensitive to the needs of others—especially the lonely—during this holiday season, and reach out in a practical way to help bring comfort to someone in need. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." 1. Luke 2:13-14 (NIV). ************************* WORD FOR THE DAY: powwow POU-wou , verb;
1. To confer. noun: 1. A ceremony, esp. one accompanied by magic, feasting, and dancing, performed for the cure of disease, success in a hunt, etc. 2. A council or conference of or with Native Americans. Quotes:
He had a more detailed phone conversation with the outgoing Paterson to begin hashing out the logistics of taking over. They agreed to powwow in person soon, sources said.
-- Kenneth Lovett, "Governor-elect Andrew Cuomo chats with President Obama, Gov. Paterson one day after triumph," New York Daily News, November, 2010.
Okay, why don't you boys pull up a seat, let's powwow on this.
-- James Howard Kunstler -, World Made by Hand Origin:
Powwow derives from the Narragansett tribal word for a spiritual leader who receives guidance from dreams. ******************************** Beef & Bean Chile Verde
Chile Verde, usually a slow-cooked stew of pork, jalapeños and tomatillos, becomes an easy weeknight meal with quick-cooking ground beef and store-bought green salsa. Make it a Meal: Serve with fresh cilantro, red onion and Monterey Jack. Add your favorite hot sauce.
"This recipe was great and so quick. I used 94% lean ground turkey, added some corn and also added a little tomato paste to thicken it up and give it some color. I only used an 8 oz jar of green taco sauce because I didn't realize it...
4 servings, about 1 1/2 cups each Active Time: 20 minutes Total Time: 30 minutes Ingredients
1 pound 93%-lean ground beef
1 large red bell pepper, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon chili powder
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste
1 16-ounce jar green salsa, green enchilada sauce or taco sauce
1/4 cup water
1 15-ounce can pinto or kidney beans, rinsed
Preparation
Cook beef, bell pepper and onion in a large saucepan over medium heat, crumbling the meat with a wooden spoon, until the meat is browned, 8 to 10 minutes. Add garlic, chili powder, cumin and cayenne; cook until fragrant, about 15 seconds. Stir in salsa (or sauce) and water; bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are tender, 10 to 15 minutes. Stir in beans and cook until heated through, about 1 minute.
Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days. Reheat just before serving. ************************* Dark Chocolate Pudding Pie Prep Time: 10 mins
Total Time: 15 mins
Serves: 8, Yield: 1 Pie Ingredients: 1 (5 1/8 ounce) Jell-O chocolate pudding and pie filling
6 bittersweet chocolate squares
3 cups whole milk
1 (9 inch) graham cracker crust Directions: 1 Chop up 4 squares of Bakers chocolate. Set aside.
2 With a cheese grater, grate the remaining two squares of chocolate into a bowl or bin. Set aside.
3 Mix together Chocolate Pudding mix and milk in a medium saucepan.
4 Turn stove onto medium heat, add chopped chocolate, and mix continuously until mixture reaches a rolling boil. The chocolate will melt. 5 Carefully pour pudding into Ready Crust. Wait 1 minute, then sprinkle grated chocolate on top. Sprinkle more or less to your tasting. Using all will create a delicious, crisp chocolate shell.
6 Let pie cool on counter for 20 minutes before transferring to the fridge where it should set for at least 4 hours.
7 Serve alone or with whipped cream! ******************** Apple Turkey Picadillo 2 servings, 1 1/4 cups each
Active Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes Ingredients
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
1/3 cup finely chopped red onion
1 clove garlic, minced
8 ounces 99%-lean ground turkey
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 medium tart green apple, peeled and chopped
1 cup chopped tomato
3 tablespoons chopped green olives
1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup sliced scallion greens
Preparation
Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion and garlic; cook until soft, stirring often, about 2 minutes. Add turkey; cook, stirring and breaking up, until lightly browned, 4 to 6 minutes.
Stir in cumin, oregano, salt, pepper and cloves; cook for 30 seconds. Stir in vinegar, scraping up any browned bits. Stir in apple, tomato, olives and Worcestershire sauce. Reduce heat and gently simmer, stirring often, until any liquid in the pan has reduced to a syrupy glaze, about 8 minutes. Stir in scallion greens and serve.
Nutrition
Per serving: 246 calories; 8 g fat (1 g sat, 5 g mono); 45 mg cholesterol; 17 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 30 g protein; 4 g fiber; 488 mg sodium; 360 mg potassium.
Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (40% daily value), Iron & Vitamin A (20% dv). 1 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 1 fruit, 4 very lean protein, 1 fat ************************
Beef and Vegetable Bake Prep: 35 min
Start to Finish: 1 hr 55 min
Ingredients
1/4 cupall-purpose flour
1/2 tspeach salt and pepper
2 lbsbeef stew meat, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 tbspolive oil
5 carrots, cut into 1/2-inch slices
3 celery stalks, coarsely chopped
1 medium onion, diced
3 garlic cloves,minced
6 ozwhite button mushrooms, sliced 3/8 inch thick
1 cupdry red wine
1 cuplow-sodium beef broth
1/4 cupsteak sauce (such as A1)
1-1/2 tspdried Italian seasoning
2-1/4 cupspackaged biscuit mix
2/3 cupmilk Directions
1. Heat oven to 325 degrees F. In a bowl, combine flour, salt and pepper; toss with beef until coated well. In a 6-quart Dutch oven, heat 1 tbsp oil over medium-high heat. In two batches, cook beef (adding 1 tbsp oil to second batch), turning, until browned, about 4 min. Transfer to a plate. Add carrots, celery, onion and garlic to pot. Cook, stirring, until wilted, 8 min. Stir in beef, mushrooms, wine, broth, steak sauce and Italian seasoning. Cover; bake 50 min. Remove from oven. 2. About 20 min before serving, stir together biscuit mix and milk until just combined. 3. Increase oven to 400 degrees F. (To make individual servings, transfer beef mixture to pint-size casserole pans.) Drop biscuit batter in mounds over beef mixture. Bake, uncovered, until biscuits are lightly browned, 15 to 20 min. Serves 6. Nutrition Facts
Calories700, Total Fat (g)38.5, Saturated Fat (g)13.5, Cholesterol (mg)103, Sodium (mg)1121, Carbohydrate (g)44, Fiber (g)3, Protein (g)35, Vitamin A (DV%)0, Vitamin C (DV%)0, Calcium (DV%)0, Iron (DV%)0, Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet ******************* Boneless Pork Loin Roast with Herbed Pepper Rub Roast your potatoes and vegetables with the pork. Serves: 6-8 with leftovers
Prep. time: 65 minutes
Cooking time: 45 to 90 minutes INGREDIENTS: 3 pound boneless pork loin roast
2 tablespoons cracked black pepper
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
2 teaspoons dried basil
2 teaspoons dried rosemary
2 teaspoons dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon salt DIRECTIONS:
Pat pork dry with paper towel. In small bowl, combine remaining ingredients to make a rub for the roast and apply to all surfaces of the pork roast. Place roast in a shallow pan and roast in a 350 degrees F. oven for 1-1 1/4 hours (18-20 minutes per pound), until internal temperature, measured with a meat thermometer, registers 155 degrees F. Remove roast from oven and let rest for 5-10 minutes before slicing to serve. Serves 6-8, with leftovers. ********************** BAKED ORANGE LAMB STEAKS 2 lamb steaks, trimmed of excess fat and cut into halves
1 tsp. salt
2 med. oranges, sliced
2 tbsp. brown sugar
1 tbsp. grated orange rind
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/4 tsp. ground cloves, optional
1 tsp. dried mint flakes
1/4 c. melted butter Arrange lamb in shallow baking dish. Sprinkle with salt. Top with orange slices. Combine all other ingredients and pour over lamb and orange slices. Bake in preheated 325 degree oven for about 40 minutes, basting often. ********************** Hungarian Goulash 6-8 Servings
Prep: 15 min.
Cook: 8 hours Ingredients
2 pounds beef top round steak, cut into 1-inch cubes
1 cup chopped onion
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1-1/2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon garlic salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 can (14-1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
1 bay leaf
1 cup (8 ounces) sour cream
Hot cooked noodles
Minced fresh parsley, optional
Directions
Place beef and onion in a 3-qt. slow cooker. Combine the flour, paprika, garlic salt and pepper; sprinkle over beef and stir to coat. Stir in tomatoes. Add bay leaf.
Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours or until meat is tender.
Discard bay leaf. Just before serving, stir in sour cream; heat through. Serve with noodles. Sprinkle with parsley if desired. Yield: 6-8 servings.
Nutrition Facts: 1 cup equals 224 calories, 8 g fat (5 g saturated fat), 83 mg cholesterol, 339 mg sodium, 7 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 27 g protein. ******************* Lasagna Roll-Ups Prep. time: 30 minutes
Cooking time: 35 minutes
Serves: 4 Ingredients 1 cup ricotta cheese
1 can (about 4 ounces) mushroom stems and pieces, , drained
1/2 cup refrigerated pesto sauce
8 lasagna noodles, , cooked and drained
2 cups Prego Traditional Pasta Sauce
3/4 cup Pace Picante Sauce
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese, , (4 ounces) Directions MIX ricotta, mushrooms and pesto. Top each noodle with 1/4 cup cheese mixture. Spread to edges. Roll up like a jelly roll. Place seam-side down in 2-quart shallow baking dish. MIX pasta sauce and picante sauce and pour over roll-ups. BAKE at 400°F. for 30 minutes or until hot. Top with mozzarella cheese. Bake 5 minutes more or until cheese is melted. Let stand 10 minutes. ****************************** New Year - Key Questions One swallow doesn't make a summer, but it breaks a New Year's resolution. How to Tell That You have Entered a New Year: You enter your password on the microwave.
You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of four.
You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He 'phones you back from his bedroom, 'What's for dinner?'
You chat several times a day with a stranger from Canada, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbour all last year.
Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college roommate used to play.
You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the screen.
You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
The concept of using real money instead of credit or debit to make a purchase is foreign to you.
Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
Your idea of being organised is multi-coloured Post-it notes.
You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
You're reading this.
*****************************
New Year Day Celebrations
New Year's Day marks the end of one year and beginning of the other. New Year is celebrated by all countries that measure yearly calendars. Most countries across the globe follow the Gregorian calendar and celebrate their New Year's Day on January 1. In several countries January 1 is a holiday. Grand bashes, balls and parades are organized to welcome the New Year and bid adieu to the old. History of New Year's Day Celebrations
New Year's Day is said to be the oldest and most universally celebrated holiday. The tradition of celebrating New Year's Day is said to have started by Romans circa 153 BC. Romans celebrated their New Year on March 1 according to old Roman Calendar. Even before the Romans, Mesopotamians are said to have celebrated new years at the time of the vernal equinox in mid-March around 2000 BC. After a series of changes in calendar, in 1582, Pope Gregory XIII instituted the Gregorian calendar still in use today, and set January 1 as New Year's Day. New Year's Day Eve
Celebrations for New Year's Day begin on the eve of the New Year on December 31. Late night parties and bashes are organized to give farewell to the year gone by and welcome the New Year. Just as the clock strikes for midnight, people hug everyone around and wish each other a 'Happy New Year'. Cakes are cut and firecrackers are burst to give a celebratory welcome to the upcoming year. Exchanging Greetings on New Year's Day
On the New Year's Day people wear bright new clothes and spring clean their houses. At several places people follow the tradition of 'first footing' and do not leave the house before someone comes in first. First footing person should ideally get some gifts and is accorded a warm welcome by the people. Later, people move out to exchange greetings and New Year gifts with their friends and dear ones. Popular New Year gifts include cake, flowers, chocolates, decorative and New Year Greeting cards. The idea behind exchanging gifts and greetings is to give warm wishes for a New Year and strengthen the bond of love shared with dear ones. New Year's Day Resolutions
There is also a very strong tradition to make New Year Resolutions on January 1. This is done to give away old bad habits and adopt better ones. Some of the most popular New Year resolutions include weight reduction, quitting smoking, giving up junk food and being punctual. Though it has been noticed that many people fail to keep their resolutions a week after New Year's Day, the importance of making a fresh New Year's Day resolution every year is still the same. New Year's Day Outing
Several countries observe a holiday on New Year's Day. And in some countries, especially those dominated by Christians have their Christmas holiday extended till New Year's Day. Hence, people have all the time and reasons to celebrate the occasion. A popular trend is to go out for vacations in tourist places. Those who are unable to go in far off places go out for picnics, campings, trekking, skiing etc. A huge rush is also observed in malls, theaters and restaurants as many people especially, youngsters celebrate the New Year's by moving out with their dear ones. Some countries organize New Year Day Parades and Sports, many people participate and witness these joyful events. Those who prefer a bit of sobriety organize New Year's Day parties in their homes and spend the first day of the year with their friends and dear ones. New Year's Day Review
In modern times, media, such as newspapers, magazines, radio and television make a review of the pas year. They give reports recollecting the events of the past and make predictions for the coming year. Various types of astronomical predictions for the coming year are also made which are lapped up by people too eager to peep into the coming year. ******************************* How to Make a Southern New Year's Meal Ring in the New Year with a traditional southern meal. Although the menu varies slightly from region to region in the South, each of the different foods represents a good wish for the year to come. With black-eyed peas symbolizing luck, mustard, turnip or collard greens representing money and ham for never going hungry, this tasty meal is delicious as well as lucky. Read on to learn how to make it.
.
Difficulty: Moderately Easy Things You'll Need: Black-eyed peas
Greens
Ham
Bacon or fatback for seasoning
Corn bread Instructions.
1 Start preparations for this traditional southern New Year's meal by rinsing and soaking dried black-eyed peas. Soaking overnight is usually recommended, or follow the quick cook method described on the back of the bag. 2 Cook peas according to directions. Most southern cooks like to season their peas with fatback or bacon. If you prefer the easy route, just open a can of black-eyed peas and heat thoroughly. The peas may be served with rice in some parts of the South, and this combination is called "hoppin' John." 3 Wash and rinse greens well. The choice of greens is a personal one, though most people find turnip greens more tender and less bitter than mustard and collard greens. Chop the greens into small pieces, or, if preferred, remove the harder stems before cooking. 4 Prepare the ham in whichever way is preferred. Traditionally the meat was a ham hock, but has evolved to ham, which has less fat.
Tips & Warnings
Chopped onion is a tasty addition to both black-eyed peas and greens..Greens come canned and even southern style..
Read more: How to Make a Southern New Year's Meal | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2085212_southern-new-years-meal.html#ixzz19FCiz7oo **********************
Some More Amusing New Year Pledges
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. Oscar Wilde Ode To January - Kindly sent by Alicia Moss
'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I'd never said, 'No thank you, please.' As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt - I said to myself, as I only can 'You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!' »So - away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip Every last bit of food that I like must be banished 'Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie - not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore. But isn't that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
Help Lord, Help!
"Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'"1
I'm sure you've seen the TV ad where a fellow is walking merrily along the sidewalk (footpath) minding his own business when he looks up and sees an attractive woman coming towards him. As he fixes his gaze on her, he is suddenly and rudely awakened as he walks directly into a lamppost. If this were true, one could just imagine the woman in question being highly amused. I know I've certainly walked into things when I was looking in the wrong direction . . . or even worse, when I was looking in the right direction but my mind was on something else. One is reminded of the words of Hannah More who said, "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." Even more important is to be constantly aware of the trouble we can get into if or when we take our eyes off the Lord and decide to go our own way. It's hard to imagine Peter being afraid of sinking in the lake when he took his eyes off the Lord. Being a fisherman, Peter surely was a powerful swimmer. I couldn't imagine him not being one. For whatever reason Peter was afraid and, fortunately for him, as soon as he realized he was in trouble, he looked back to Jesus and cried out, "Lord, save me." That's a good lesson for us to do likewise when we take our eyes off the Lord and acknowledge the fact that we are either in trouble or heading towards it. Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to always keep my eyes on you and follow your leading in all areas of my life. But if and when I do take my eyes off you and begin to 'sink,' help me to quickly see the error of my way, turn back to you, and cry out, 'Lord, save me.' Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." 1. Matthew 14:30 (NIV). ************************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: nosegay • NOHZ-gay • noun
: a small bunch of flowers Examples:
The young man presented a nosegay of red, white, and yellow roses to his sweetheart. “The bride carried a nosegay of green hydrangeas, Gerbera daisies, and coral roses hand-tied in turquoise ribbon.†-- From a wedding announcement in Mississippi Magazine, January 2010 ************************************* New Year Traditions
Tradition of welcoming the New Year by organizing feasts and celebrations has been carried forward since ancient times. Historians believe that New Year tradition were started by ancient Babylonians more than 4,000 years ago. Egyptians, Romans, Celts continued it and now the present generation cherish this tradition by celebrating New Year in the most extravagant manner. Most countries across the globe celebrate New Year on January 1. This day officially became the first day of the year in 46 BC when Julius Caesar established the Julian calendar. However, many countries and communities follow different calendars and celebrate their New Year in an entirely different time of the year by following their own specific customs and traditions. Given here is glimpse of New Year traditions as observed on January 1 in countries following Gregorian calendar. New Year's Eve
Celebrations begin on the New Year Eve on December 31st. Hotels, restaurants, clubs and pubs organize New Year Eve balls and parties. People sing, dance and make merry. Fun events and contests are also organized to entertain the crowd. As New Year falls at the peak winter time in many countries bonfires are lit to keep the people warm. And just when the clock strikes for midnight firecrackers are burst to welcome the advent of New Year. People greet Happy New Year with a warm hug to every one around them. With loved ones and friends at a distance people exchange greetings through SMSs and phone calls. No wonder, phone network see maximum traffic at this time. New Year's Day Celebrations
To mark the auspicious beginning of New Year, people wear fresh new clothes and clean up their house. Many prefer to spend this day in the company of their family members and dear ones. People also visit their friends and exchange New Year Gifts and greetings with them. Restaurants, multiplexes and malls experience a busy time on New Year's Day as many prefer to spend the day by watching movies and eating out with dear ones. There is also a trend of going out for picnics or to exotic tourist destinations to celebrate the day. New Year's Resolutions
One of the most popular New Year custom is to make New Year Resolution. The tradition is said to have been started by early Babylonians who resolved to start the New Year with a clean state by returning borrowed farm equipment. Even in present times, people make New Year resolutions. Though it has been noticed that most people fail to carry them forward beyond the first week of New Year. Some of the most popular New Year resolutions including promises to quit smoking, losing weight, waking up early and being punctual. New Year's Parades
In several countries, there is a popular tradition of organizing New Year Parades. In the United States, one of the most famous parades is the Tournament of Roses where the floats are all decorated with flowers. Chinese New Year Parade in San Francisco and the New Year's Day Parade of London are other most participated and talked about parades of the world. A large number of people throng the entire route of fun-filled parade to watch giant balloons, tableau and dancers in colorful costumes. New Year's Games
In many countries, people enjoy the New Year by indulging in games and sports. Athletics, football, cricket are some of the most popular New Year sports. In some countries, special tournaments are organized for New Year's Day. Many participate while others enjoy them on TV. In households people recreate by participating in indoor games and activities. ******************************************** Antipasto Platter 14-16 Servings Prep: 10 min. + chilling Ingredients
1 jar (24 ounces) pepperoncinis, drained
1 can (15 ounces) garbanzo beans or chickpeas, rinsed and drained
2 cups halved fresh mushrooms
2 cups halved cherry tomatoes
1/2 pound provolone cheese, cubed
1 can (6 ounces) pitted ripe olives, drained
1 package (3-1/2 ounces) sliced pepperoni
1 bottle (8 ounces) Italian vinaigrette dressing
Lettuce leaves Directions
In a large bowl, combine the peppers, beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, cheese, olives and pepperoni. Pour vinaigrette over mixture; toss to coat. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes or overnight. Arrange on a lettuce-lined platter. Serve with toothpicks. Yield: 14-16 servings. ******************************************** Blue Cheese Dip Try this delicious dip with a plate of hot wings. Or, if you have a garden or farmers' market nearby, set out a plate of raw summer vegetables. This creamy blue cheese dip is good with crunchy radishes (provide some toothpicks for impaling them), baby carrots, broccoli and the like. Use enough of any combination of veggies to feed 4 or 5 people. Prep Time: 15 min
Serves: 10 Edit Ingredients 4 ounce(s) reduced-fat cream cheese (Neufchatel)
1/2 cup(s) fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves
2 scallions, trimmed and coarsely chopped
1 clove(s) garlic, minced
1 tablespoon(s) lemon juice
1 tablespoon(s) tarragon vinegar, or white-wine vinegar
3/4 cup(s) crumbled blue cheese (4 1/4 ounces)
2 tablespoon(s) reduced-fat mayonnaise
Freshly ground pepper, to taste
Directions
1. Place cream cheese, parsley, scallions, garlic, lemon juice and vinegar in a food processor; pulse until the mixture is fairly smooth, scraping down the sides once or twice. Add blue cheese, mayonnaise and pepper; pulse until smooth but still textured. You don't want the dip to be too smooth. If it seems to need a little thinning, add a teaspoon or so of water. Variation: For Parmesan Dip, substitute 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan for the blue cheese. Nutritional Information
(per serving) Calories 45
Total Fat 4g
Saturated Fat 2g
Cholesterol 10mg
Sodium 115mg
Total Carbohydrate 1g
Dietary Fiber --
Sugars --
Protein 2g
Calcium -- ************************ Beer Puffs Recipe - Appetizer
These tiny puff rolls made with beer may be filled with crab salad, tuna salad, chicken salad or whatever suits your fancy for a tasty appetizer. They are quite easy to make, are a perfect bite-size sandwich, and perfect for parties. Beer puffs work equally as well with sweet fillings for dessert bites. Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes Ingredients: •1 cup beer
•8 Tablespoons (1 stick or 1/4 pound) butter
•1 cup sifted all-purpose flour
•1/2 teaspoon salt
•4 eggs
•Filling of your choice Preparation: Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper or Silpat baking liners. In a heavy saucepan, heat beer and butter until it barely comes to a boil and the butter is melted. Add flour and salt, lower heat, and stir constantly until the mixure pulls away from the side of the pan and forms a ball. Remove from the heat and let rest for 1 minute. Add eggs, one at a time, beating each one in until the dough is shiny. Drop or pipe dough in 1-inch rounds onto prepared baking sheets. Bake 10 minutes at 450 degrees F. Reduce heat to 350 degrees F, and turn baking sheets. Bake beer puffs an additional 10 minutes until brown and dry. Turn off oven, crack open the oven door, and let puffs dry further until cool. Split beer puffs with a fork (or slice with a serrated knife) and fill with your choice of fillings such as paté, chicken salad, tuna salad, seafood salad, vegetable cheese mix, pudding, mousse, or whatever you like. Note: Feel free to add your favorite herbs or spices to the flour for added flavor. I used a piping tip to make fast work of forming the puffs on the baking sheets. I do not bother with a pastry bag. Just cut a small corner from a zip-top freezer bag, insert the piping tip, spoon in the batter, squeeze out the air, seal the bag, and pipe the puffs. No pastry bag to wash. Yield: 60 to 80 small puffs ****************************** Date Wraps Active Time: 10 Minutes
Total Time: 10 Minutes
Yield: 16 pieces Sweet dates and salty prosciutto combine in a tasty bite.
INGREDIENTS
16 thin slices prosciutto
16 whole pitted dates
Freshly ground pepper to taste
DIRECTIONS
Wrap a slice of prosciutto around each date. Grind pepper on top
TIP: The wrapped dates ae good, but to make them off the chart try stuffing them with gorganzola cheese and bake them until the cheese starts to melt.
**************************** Cranberry-Nut Cinnamon Chex Mix (Gluten Free) Prep Time 15 Minutes
Total Time 15 Minutes
Makes 16 servings
Cranberries and nuts mix into a snack you can eat by the handfuls. Yum!
6 cups Cinnamon Chex cereal
1 cup walnut halves
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup frozen orange juice concentrate
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup sweetened dried cranberries
In large microwavable bowl, mix cereal and walnuts; set aside.
In 2-cup microwavable measuring cup, microwave brown sugar, orange juice concentrate and oil on High 1 minute; stir. Microwave about 1 minute longer, stirring after 30 seconds, until mixture is hot. Pour over cereal mixture, stirring until evenly coated.
Microwave uncovered on High 5 minutes, stirring every 2 minutes. Stir in cranberries. Spread on waxed paper or foil to cool. Store in tightly covered container.
Success
The dried cranberries are tossed in at the very end so they don't overcook.
Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Serving)Calories 190(Calories from Fat 60),Total Fat 7g(Saturated Fat 1/2g,Trans Fat 0g),Cholesterol 0mg;Sodium 95mg;Total Carbohydrate 30g(Dietary Fiber 0g,Sugars 12g),Protein 2g;Percent Daily Value*:Calcium ;Exchanges:1 Starch;0 Fruit;1 Other Carbohydrate;0 Skim Milk;0 Low-Fat Milk;0 Milk;0 Vegetable;0 Very Lean Meat;0 Lean Meat;0 High-Fat Meat;1 Fat;Carbohydrate Choices:2;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. ******************************** DEEP FRIED PICKLES 2 lg. egg yolks
1 c. water
1 1/2 c. flour
1 jar med. size dill or sweet pickles
Oil Beat egg yolks and water together. Add flour slowly to keep batter smooth.
Slice pickles 1/2 inch thick, drain on paper towel. Dip pickle slices in batter and fry in hot deep fat. Serve warm.
**************** Lemon Meringue Drops These melt-in-your-mouth meringues are both crunchy and cloud-light — and require only five ingredients.
Yields: about 120 cookies
Prep Time: 45 min
Cook Time: 1 hr 30 min
Oven Temp: 200
Ingredients
6 large egg whites
1/2 teaspoon(s) cream of tartar
1/4 teaspoon(s) salt
1 cup(s) sugar
4 teaspoon(s) freshly grated lemon peel
Directions
Preheat oven to 200 degrees F. Line two large cookie sheets with parchment.
In medium bowl, with mixer at high speed, beat egg whites, cream of tartar, and salt until soft peaks form. With mixer running, sprinkle in sugar, 2 tablespoons at a time, beating until sugar dissolves and meringue stands in stiff, glossy peaks when beaters are lifted. Gently fold in lemon peel.
Spoon meringue into decorating bag fitted with 1/2-inch star tip. Pipe meringue into 1 1/2-inch stars, about 1 inch apart, on prepared cookie sheets.
Bake meringues until crisp but not brown, 1 hour 30 minutes, rotating cookie sheets between upper and lower racks halfway through baking. Turn oven off; leave meringues in oven until dry, 1 hour. Remove meringues from oven. Turn oven temperature back to 200 degrees F. Repeat with remaining meringue.
Cool meringues completely. Remove from parchment with wide metal spatula. Store in tightly sealed container at room temperature up to 1 month.
******************
Easy Chicken Paprika Easy elegance… Browned chicken is added to a creamy mushroom sauce rich with sour cream and seasoned with paprika and red pepper. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 20 INGREDIENTS: 1 tbsp. butter
1 1/4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 can Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
2 tsp. paprika
1/8 tsp. ground red pepper
1/3 cup plain yogurt or 1/3 cup sour cream or plain yogurt
2/3 of a 12-ounce package medium egg noodles (about 4 cups), cooked and drained
DIRECTIONS:
MIX broth, flour, paprika and pepper.
COOK chicken in nonstick skillet until browned.
ADD flour mixture. Cook and stir until mixture boils and thickens. Add onion. Cover and cook over low heat 10 min. or until chicken is done. Remove from heat.
STIR in yogurt. Serve with noodles.
**************** A chemist, a shopkeeper and a teacher were sentenced to death by firing squad.
The chemist was taken from his cell and as the soldiers took aim he shouted "Avalanche!" The soldiers panicked and in the confusion the chemist escaped.
The shopkeeper was led out next.
As the soldiers took aim he shouted "Flood!" and escaped.
The teacher was then lead out.
The squad took aim and the teacher, remenbering how the other two had escaped, shouted "Fire!" ******************** Tom Stoppard
"I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity." Robert Orben
"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get." Mike Myers
"My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare." ********************* Scotland - Hogmanay
What is Hogmanay?
The Hogmanay festivities get underway about lunch time on the 31st of December. At about 2 minutes to midnight a lone piper plays, then after the chimes of midnight everyone sings Auld Lang Syne. In rural areas you may find first footing dances, called ceilidhs. It is considered lucky if the first person to cross the threshold is a tall dark stranger. This superstition may have resulted from fear of fair Viking raiders who were bent on rape and pillage. Possibly a more modern tradition is exchanging gifts known as 'Hogmanays'. Indeed it is interesting to observe which countries and cultures exchange gifts at Christmas, and which exchange their presents (or 'Hogmanays') at new year. What shaped Hogmanay from the 17th to the 1950s was that Scots rejected Christmas because they thought it a Catholic and an English festival. As a result Protestant Scots worked through Christmas Day and Boxing Day then celebrated Hogmanay with a vengeance. Derivation of the Word 'Hogmanay'
The majority opinion is that comes from the Gaelic oge maidne meaning 'New Morning'. However, several French words have also been suggested as the source. Hoguinané, or anguillanneuf, which roughly translated means New Year Gift. Perhaps the best way of summing up the Scot's attitude to celebrating Hogmanay is to declare the 2nd of January as a public holiday - to recover from the new celebrations. It is worth noting that there is big difference between the raucous celebrations with strangers in Edinburgh and Glasgow; compared with the more ritualized celebration where you know everyone in Scottish Islands such as Lewis. Will and Guy's Clean Funny Hogmanay Jokes
See in The New Year with Some Clean Scottish Humour It was a bitterly cold day on the golf course and the caddy was expecting a large tip from his rich Scottish client. As they neared the clubhouse, the caddy heard the words he was longing to hear, 'This is for a hot glass of whisky.' He held out his hand and a sugar cube was placed in it. An American entered a bar and stood beside a Scotsman 'Where are you from, pal?' asked the Scotsman, after they'd chatted for a while. 'I'm from the finest country in the whole wide world,' said the American. 'Are you?' said the other. 'You have a very funny accent for a Scotsman.' Some say the old ones are best. You can make up your own mind with these short clean Scottish jokes What do you call the Scottish dentist? ................................. Phil McCavity.
Did you hear about the Scotsman who washed his kilt?............. He couldn't do a fling with it.
Hear about the skeleton that wore a kilt? .............................. It was Boney Prince Charlie.
How do you know if a Scotsman is left-handed?
He keeps all his money in his right-hand pocket.
How do you get a Scotsman to climb onto the roof of his home? Tell him that the drinks are on the house.
A Scotsman went to England for the weekend. He took a clean shirt and a twenty pound note with him.
When he arrived home he hadn't changed either of them.
?Three More New Year Customs
These days apple bobbing is associated with Halloween, but in Celtic societies they also play this game of trying to grab an apple in one's teeth at New Year. Bonfires are also associated with New Year, the town of Biggar in Scotland have a reputation for a particularly warm fire at Hogmanay. Another concept is that of the underdog, or every dog has his day. In essence roles are reversed, officers become other ranks, and other ranks become top-dogs. The first footing custom whereby the first man who set foot over the threshold set the homesteader's luck for the year. A dark (non-Viking) carrying a bottle of whisky was particularly portentous of a good year ahead. A grey-haired man with with coal, cakes and a few coins was also welcome. Will and Guy Take a Funny Sideways Scottish Swipe At The Average Englishman
The average Englishman, sitting in his home which he calls his castle, puts on his water proof clothing as he goes out; a raincoat patented by Charles Macintosh of Glasgow, Scotland.
He drives a car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Irvine, Scotland.
At the office he receives his mail with adhesive stamps which, although they bear the Queen of England's head, were invented by John Chambers of Dundee, Scotland.
During the day he uses the telephone; invented by Alexander Graham Bell of Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening he watches his son ride his rear wheel driven bicycle; invented by Kirkpatrick MacMillan, a blacksmith born in Thornhill, Scotland.
He watches the news on television which was invented by John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Dumfries, Scotland.
He has now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation picks up the Holy Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot: King James VI, [the first king of both Scotland and England] who authorised the Bible's translation which was published in 1611.
No where can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots; he could take to drink but the Scots make the finest in the world, he could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.
If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table, being injected with Penicillin, discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and given an anaesthetic, discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland.
When he comes round from the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England which was founded by William Patterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
Then he might run away to Auckland in New Zealand only to find that John Campbell from Glasgow founded the city.
He may then choose to study in Canada and he would soon discover that James McGill, born in Glasgow, founded the University in Montreal.
So he then tries to settle in Chicago, USA where he finds that the Pinkerton Detective Agency in Chicago was founded by Allan Pinkerton from Scotland in 1850.
*****************
New Year Resolutions for Pets 15. I will not eat other animals' poop. 14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop. 13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener. 10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows. 9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars. 8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds. 7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me! 6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year. 5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much. 4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post. 3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock. 2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets... 1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND ******************************************** Happy New Year - In Different Languages Note: In some languages the accents are important, for example in Spanish you really do need the tilde over the 'n' in Año. Ano without a tilde, has the most unfortunate meaning happy new anus. Language Happy New Year
Afrikaans Gelukkige nuwe jaar
Arabic Sana Sa-eeda
Bengali Shuvo Nabo Barsho
Cambodian Soursdey Chhnam Tmei
Catalan Feliç Any Nou
Chinese (Mandarin) Xin Nian Kuai Le ? ? ? ?
Croatian Sretna Nova godina
Danish Godt Nytår
Dutch Gelukkig Nieuwjaar
Eskimo Kiortame pivdluaritlo
Esperanto Felican Novan Jaron
Finnish Onnellista Uutta Vuotta
French Bonne Année
Gaelic Bliadhna mhath ur
German Prosit Neujahr
Greek Kenourios Chronos
Hawaiian Hauoli Makahiki Hou
Hebrew L'Shannah Tovah
Hindi Naye Varsha Ki Shubhkamanyen
Hong Kong Sun Leen Fai Lok
Hungarian Boldog Ooy Ayvet
Indonesian Selamat Tahun Baru
Iranian Saleh now mobarak
Iraqi Sanah Jadidah
Irish Bliain nua fe mhaise dhuit
Italian Felice anno nuovo
Icelandic Farsælt komandi ár
Japanese Akimashite Omedetto Gozaimasu
Korean Saehae Bock Mani ba deu sei yo
Kurdish Newroz Pirozbe
Latvian Laimigo Jauno Gadu!
Lithuanian Laimingu Naujuju Metu
Maltese Is Senat Tajba
Nepal Nawa Barsha ko Shuvakamana
Norwegian Godt Nyttår
Papua New Guinea Nupela yia i go long yu
Persian Saleh now ra tabrik migouyam
Philippines Manigong Bagong Taon
Polish Szczesliwego Nowego Roku
Portuguese Feliz Ano Novo
Punjabi Nave sal di mubarak
Romanian An Nou Fericit
Russian ? ????? ????? (S Novim Godom)
Samoa Manuia le Tausaga Fou
Serbo-Croatian Sretna nova godina
Slovak A stastlivy Novy Rok
Slovenian Sreèno novo leto
Somali Iyo Sanad Cusub Oo Fiican
Spanish Féliz Año Nuevo
Swahili Heri Za Mwaka Mpyaº
Swedish Gott nytt år!
Sudanese Warsa Enggal
Tamil Eniya Puthandu Nalvazhthukkal
Thai Sawadee Pee Mai
Turkish Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian ? ????? ????? Z novym rokom
Urdu Naya Saal Mubbarak Ho
Vietnamese Chuc Mung Tan Nien
Welsh Blwyddyn Newydd Dda
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
Failure Is Never Final "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."1 December 1—or any other day of the year—may have been the final day of your divorce, the day you were rejected, the day you lost your job, or the day you failed a major final exam; but remember, as difficult as it was, December 2 was the first day of the rest of your life. It was a day of new beginnings. So, if you have suffered a major loss or setback, and haven't done your grieving, be sure to do it now. It may not be easy, and it will take time, but it is tremendously important that you face, accept, and resolve your pain; learn to get up even if you have to drag yourself up, and go on. The following suggestions will help you to do this effectively: Develop the right attitude. Attitude is what makes the difference between a painful experience becoming a failure or a success. You can let the loss leave you timid and afraid to step out again for fear of being hurt, or you can determine that your failure will be your teacher. As William James said, "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude." Use your failures/losses to enrich your life. True, we all need mountaintop experiences from time to time to encourage us, but we don't grow through these. It is in the valley of disappointment and through our failures/losses that we are given the opportunity to take stock of our life and move toward a new dimension of life, and toward a greater level of growth and maturity. Know what your purpose in life is. The more clearly defined that your life purpose is—and the more deeply it is embedded in your unconscious mind—the less likely it will be that disappointments and failures will set you back. A spacecraft en route to the moon is off course 90 percent of the time. It is constantly pulled back by the earth's gravity, and is continually drawn to one side or the other by other forces. But it has a built-in computer that has a singleness of purpose that homes in on the moon. The computer is making continual corrections to keep the spacecraft on target with its purpose and goal. Life's like that. If your eye is on your goal, if you have a singleness of purpose, nothing will stop you getting to where you plan and choose to go. Remember that failure or disappointment is an event, not a person. Because you may have failed in your marriage or job, in another relationship, or other situation, doesn't mean that you are a failure as a person. Not at all. Realize that the only real failure is not to try, or not to keep on trying, or not to get up one more time than you fall or get knocked down. The important thing is to learn from your past, invest it as an opportunity to grow, and to move ahead. Give God a chance. If you feel as if you have failed or believe you've done wrong, ask God to forgive you—and be sure to forgive yourself. Then turn your failure into a stepping-stone toward a better you. Where a bone is broken and heals, it becomes the strongest part of the bone. The same is true of your broken places—where you have been hurt, have fallen and failed, or are afraid. When you bring these to God for his healing, his strength is made perfect through your weakness.2 Suggested prayer: "Dear God, no matter what setback happens to me, whether it is my fault or that of another, please help me not to become bitter but better by using it as an opportunity to help me to grow and become the person you envision for me to be. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Isaiah 9:6
“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.â€
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WORD FOR THE DAY: invincible • in-VIN-suh-bul • adjective
: incapable of being conquered, overcome, or subdued Examples:
Susan loved stories of invincible superheroes and determined sidekicks. "When the title was on the line in the finale at Homestead-Miami Speedway on Sunday, Johnson and his team looked more invincible than vulnerable." -- From an article by Rick Minter in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, November 23, 2010 *************************** DAILY DOG TIP: Dinner time and dogs that beg Our question this week was: I have two dogs and every time my husband and I sit down to eat; they are always beside of us and watching us! We don't want to exclude them from the family, what could we do to distract them? Answer
This is a very common situation. So basically, your dogs are "begging" while you try to eat. Begging may take the form of sitting next to the diner's chair, perhaps whining, eyes riveted on the target of attention, the food. In other cases, the dog may take a more proactive role in begging. He may paw, jump on the owner's leg, or bark incessantly.
Whatever form the begging takes is testimony to what has worked for the dog in the past. Those owners who do have a begging dog problem must have rewarded the behavior at some point, either inadvertently or intentionally. Some owners of begging dogs decide to try to break the cycle of begging and reinforcement, but don't have the willpower to stay the course. Instead, they occasionally cave in, reinforcing the dog's begging behavior on a random intermittent schedule. This schedule of reinforcement produces the most indelible learning of all. It ensures that the dog will continue to beg on the off chance that next time he may win. You sit down to a juicy T-bone steak cooked to perfection. Your dog is already there, however, begging and pawing for a piece, then another, and another. Doesn't he have any dignity? That all depends on how he was raised. Begging is one of those learned behaviors that can be considered either endearing or a nuisance behavior depending on your viewpoint and situation. If you are standing eating from a bag of chips and a friendly dog approaches, sits on his haunches, and looks up at you appealingly, you might think it's cute. Some people even train their dogs to beg in order to receive food or food-treats. Occasional begging for food isn't the biggest behavior problem owners encounter with their dogs. In fact, as a form of communication, it may even strengthen the human-companion animal bond. However, at the other end of the spectrum are dogs that won't leave their owners alone at mealtimes, constantly nudging for a piece of the action to the point of ruining the meal. Begging may take the form of sitting next to the diner's chair, perhaps whining, eyes riveted on the target of attention, the food. In other cases, the dog may take a more proactive role in begging. He may paw, jump on the owner's leg, or bark incessantly. Whatever form the begging takes is testimony to what has worked for the dog in the past. And the behavior leaves no doubt in the owner's mind as to its meaning. It's not just food that can cause a dog to beg. The object of a dog's begging can be anything that he wants enough to work for. Toys and attention are other commodities that can inspire a dog to beg. Because begging is a learned behavior, it is best not to train it in the first place, though lots of folk unwittingly do so. Some owners do not have to contend with begging at all because they have never encouraged it, condoned it, or reinforced it. The perfect example of this is the owner who refuses to feed the dog from the table ... ever ... and never feeds him human food. The dog receives his meals at the same time, in the same place, every day. Those owners who do have a begging dog problem must have rewarded the behavior at some point, either inadvertently or intentionally. Perhaps they found that giving their dog food from the table occupies him for a while and temporarily prevents food mooching. Perhaps they find that giving their dog a piece of hot dog is easier for them than just saying "No." In both these instances, what the owners have taught their dogs is that begging works. The learning involves classical Skinnerian reinforcement of an operant behavior. Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am." Similarly, the begging dog's philosophy is, "It works, therefore I beg." Some owners of begging dogs decide to try to break the cycle of begging and reinforcement, but don't have the willpower to stay the course. Instead, they occasionally cave in, reinforcing the dog's begging behavior on a random intermittent schedule. This schedule of reinforcement produces the most indelible learning of all. It ensures that the dog will continue to beg on the off chance that next time he may win. Methods to Quash Begging
Have a set feeding regimen for your dog. For instance, feed him twice daily at 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. Feed proprietary dog food only so that there is no confusion over what is human food and what is dog food.
Feed your dog at the same time as you sit down to eat, so that he is fully occupied during mealtimes. Also, feed him in a separate location.
If necessary, crate train or tie your dog so that he is not free to roam (and beg) at mealtimes, but make sure he has something to do when confined.
Never give in to begging after you have indicated, "no" – not even once. Recognize begging for what it is and stand fast against repeat requests.
Remember that a behavior that worked in the past will initially be carried out at an even greater frequency when the expected reward is withheld. Don't worry about this exacerbation and don't let it weaken in your resolve. Your dog will eventually stop trying something that doesn't work.
Teach doggy Zen. Hold a food item in your closed hand. Whatever your dog does by way of begging/nudging do not open your hand. When he relaxes into calm acceptance of the fact that you are in control, by sitting patiently and stopping begging, say "take it" and open your hand. You are now training an acceptable behavior – waiting for a command (more appropriately cue) before the "goods" are produced. The message is that good manners work; bad manners don't.
Punishment is never appropriate. Your dog would not understand why he was being punished and would wind up confused. Punishment teaches a dog nothing except how to avoid the punisher.
A well-behaved dog is a pleasure to have around. One that is constantly trying to push people's buttons is often viewed as a little beggar. The decision to reward or not reward should be made by the owner, not coaxed by the dog. If the time is not right for the game in question, the dog should be instructed to perform some other behavior that is incompatible with asking/begging, such as going to his dog bed or blanket and lying down. This will only be possible if the owner exhibits firm but fair leadership. Be in charge. Stay in control. As your faithful friend and follower, your dog will appreciate your lead. *************************** Oyster Stew
This oyster stew can be transformed from a comforting one-pot meal to an elegant dish for guests when you top it with Caviar Toasts: Dollop toasted slices of baguette with 1 teaspoon sour cream, 1/2 teaspoon caviar and a sprinkle of herbs. Place each toast atop a steaming bowl of stew. Serve with a salad of butter lettuce, orange segments and red onion tossed with vinaigrette.
6 servings, about 1 1/3 cups each
Active Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes Ingredients
3 slices bacon
2 teaspoons canola oil
2 cups diced onion
1 cup diced celery
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/2 cup dry white wine
2 8-ounce bottles clam juice (see Notes)
1 1/2 cups water, divided
1 pound baby or new potatoes, cut into bite-size chunks
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 pound shucked oysters (see Notes), drained and chopped into bite-size pieces
1/2 cup light cream
2 tablespoons chopped fresh herbs, such as dill and chives Preparation
Cook bacon in a large soup pot over medium heat, turning often, until crispy, 5 to 7 minutes. Drain on a plate lined with a paper towel. When cool, chop the bacon and set aside.
Wipe out the pot; add oil heat over medium heat. Add onion, celery, salt and pepper and cook, stirring often, until the vegetables start to soften and brown slightly, about 2 minutes. Pour in wine, increase heat to medium-high and cook, scraping up any browned bits, until the wine is evaporated, 1 to 3 minutes. Add clam juice, 1 cup water and potatoes; cover and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are tender, 10 to 15 minutes.
Whisk the remaining 1/2 cup water with flour until smooth and stir into the stew. Return to a simmer over medium-high heat, stirring constantly. Cook, stirring, until thickened, about 1 minute.
Stir in oysters, cream and herbs; return to a simmer and immediately remove from the heat. Let stand for 5 minutes to finish cooking the oysters. Serve sprinkled with the reserved bacon. Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Prepare through Step 3 and refrigerate for up to 1 day. Finish with Step 4 just before serving.
Notes: Bottled clam juice can be very high in sodium. We like Bar Harbor brand, which has 120 mg sodium per 2-ounce serving. Look for it in the canned-fish section or the seafood department of your supermarket.
Look for shucked oysters by the pound at the seafood counter or packed in plastic containers in the seafood department of most supermarkets. If your oysters are prepacked, be sure to look at the drained weight on the label—we needed to buy three 8-ounce containers to get 1 pound of drained shucked oysters. Nutrition
Per serving: 222 calories; 8 g fat (3 g sat, 3 g mono); 38 mg cholesterol; 26 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 9 g protein; 3 g fiber; 426 mg sodium; 736 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Zinc (193% daily value), Iron (32% dv), Vitamin C (26% dv), Potassium (21% dv), Magnesium (16% dv). 2 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 1 starch, 1 vegetable, 1 lean meat, 2 fat ***************************** Apple Turkey Picadillo 2 servings, 1 1/4 cups each
Active Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes Ingredients
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
1/3 cup finely chopped red onion
1 clove garlic, minced
8 ounces 99%-lean ground turkey
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 medium tart green apple, peeled and chopped
1 cup chopped tomato
3 tablespoons chopped green olives
1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup sliced scallion greens
Preparation
Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion and garlic; cook until soft, stirring often, about 2 minutes. Add turkey; cook, stirring and breaking up, until lightly browned, 4 to 6 minutes.
Stir in cumin, oregano, salt, pepper and cloves; cook for 30 seconds. Stir in vinegar, scraping up any browned bits. Stir in apple, tomato, olives and Worcestershire sauce. Reduce heat and gently simmer, stirring often, until any liquid in the pan has reduced to a syrupy glaze, about 8 minutes. Stir in scallion greens and serve.
Nutrition
Per serving: 246 calories; 8 g fat (1 g sat, 5 g mono); 45 mg cholesterol; 17 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 30 g protein; 4 g fiber; 488 mg sodium; 360 mg potassium.
Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (40% daily value), Iron & Vitamin A (20% dv). 1 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 1 fruit, 4 very lean protein, 1 fat *************************** Bourbon Hot Dogs For an all-grown up party snack, try this brown sugar and bourbon mixture for hot dogs, little smokies, or meatballs. Ingredients
3/4 C. Bourbon
1 1/2 C. brown sugar
1/1/2 C. catsup
1 Tbs. grated onion
4 pkg. hot dogs, cut in bite size pieces or use little smokies or meatballs Directions
Mix ingredients in crock pot. Set on low for 4 hours or high for 2 hours ********************* Baked Macaroni and Cheese with Ham To make baked macaroni and cheese with ham you will need: INGREDIENTS: •6 tbsp butter
•4 tbsps. flour
•1 3/4 cups of half and half
•1 1/4 cups shredded Swiss cheese
•1 1/4 cups shredded cheddar cheese (you can use less cheese if desired)
•1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
•3 cups of diced ham
•5 cups cooked macaroni
•1 cup bread crumbs - half for the inside crunch and half for a topping
•1/4 cup scallions, diced
•pepper to taste DIRECTIONS: Combine Macaroni and Cheese Ingredients Using a large saucepan melt the butter and add the flour – stir and gradually stir in your half and half making sure to keep stirring as the entire mixture thickens. Pour in your cooked macaroni. Add your shredded cheese and your Parmesan to the mixture - now you can add half the bread crumbs and scallions, and add the cubes of ham. Stir well and pour into a well greased casserole or baking dish. This does look good though, doesn't it? Bake the Macaroni and Cheese just going to put the last of the bread crumbs on the top for a nice crunchy top layer. Bake at 350 degrees about 20 minutes or until the top is crisp. Mmmm - that looks delicious! ************************* Campbell's Calzone Hearty, seasoned tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese are folded inside bread dough, baked until golden, sliced while piping hot and served with additional sauce. Serves: 4 as a main dish; 8 as an appetizer
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 20 minutes 1 loaf (1 lb.) frozen white bread dough, thawed
1/2 cup Prego Italian Sausage & Garlic Italian Sauce or Mini Meatball Italian sauce
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
PREHEAT oven to 400°F. ROLL dough into 14" circle on lightly floured surface. Place on greased baking sheet. SPREAD pasta sauce over half of the dough to within 1" of edge. Top with cheese. Fold dough over filling. Pinch edges to seal. BAKE 20 min. or until golden. Let stand 5 min. Serve with additional pasta sauce. Serves 4 as a main dish or 8 as an appetizer. ******************* Black-Eyed Peas with Pork & Greens
This boldly flavored spin on Hoppin' John replaces salt pork or bacon with lean pork chops. Plus we've added greens—in this case kale—a traditional accompaniment with the dish. Serve with cornbread and a glass of Spanish rioja. 6 servings, about 1 1/3 cups each
Active Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes Ingredients 1 pound boneless pork chops, trimmed, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1/2 teaspoon salt, divided
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1 tablespoon canola oil
1 medium onion, chopped
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 cup instant brown rice
8 cups roughly chopped kale leaves, (about 1 small bunch), tough stems removed
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 14-ounce can reduced-sodium chicken broth
2 tablespoons cider vinegar, or sherry vinegar
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika, preferably hot (see Tip)
1 15-ounce can black-eyed peas, rinsed Preparation Toss pork with 1/4 teaspoon salt and pepper. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add the pork and cook, stirring, until just cooked through, 4 to 6 minutes. Transfer to a bowl with a slotted spoon.
Add onion, tomato paste and rice to the pan and cook until the onion softens, about 4 minutes. Add kale and garlic and cook until the kale begins to wilt, 1 to 2 minutes. Stir in broth, vinegar, paprika and the remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat and simmer until the rice is done, 15 to 20 minutes. Stir in the reserved pork and black-eyed peas and heat for 1 minute. Tips & Notes Tip: Smoked paprika is a spice made from grinding smoke-dried red peppers. It's available in sweet, bittersweet and hot. Find it in the spice section of large supermarkets or at tienda.com. Nutrition
Per serving: 281 calories; 8 g fat (2 g sat, 3 g mono); 45 mg cholesterol; 32 g carbohydrates; 22 g protein; 5 g fiber; 405 mg sodium; 740 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin A (280% daily value), Vitamin C (190% dv), Potassium (21% dv), Magnesium (20% dv), Calcium & Iron (15% dv). 2 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 1 1/2 starch, 1 vegetable, 2 lean meat, 1/2 fat ***************************** QUOTES: Robert Orben
"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get." Mike Myers
"My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare." Lewis Mumford
"Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf." After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager."
- William S. Burroughs Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
- Albert Camus
"Strength does not come from winning Your struggles develop your strength.
When you go through hardship and decide not to surrender,
that is strength." -- Unknown
CONFUCIOUS SAYS: The book salesman should be honored because he brings to our attention, as a rule, the very books we need most and neglect most. THING TO PONDER: If a penny costs 2.3 cents to make, why is it still only worth a penny? You might be a REDNECK if...
...you have more belt-buckles than pants
*************************** MAGISTRATE—"And what was the prisoner doing?" CONSTABLE—"E were 'avin' a very 'eated argument with a cab driver, yer worship." MAGISTRATE—"But that doesn't prove he was drunk." CONSTABLE—"Ah, but there worn't no cab driver there, yer worship." ******************* A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat.
The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!" ******************* Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr.
Ho and Mr.
Chen.
They were neighbors but happened to be very competitive.
One day Mr.
Ho decided to start a shoe business, he named his store WE DO SHOE.
now Mr.
Chen decided he must compete with Mr.
Ho, so he started a shoe business right next door to Mr.
Ho's store and he named it SHOE DO WE. ********************* A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published.
After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown died'." Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a 7-word minimum for all obituaries.
The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers and replies, "In that case,
'Fred Brown died: 1983 Pick-up for sale'." ******************** THINGS TO PONDER: Why don't penguins in Antarctica ever get frostbite? You might be a REDNECK if...
...you think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.
Books to the ceiling,/ Books to the sky,/ My pile of books is a mile high./ How I love them! How I need them!/ I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
- Arnold Lobel The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.
- Edwin Schlossberg It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.
- Abigail Van Buren
********************************* Another Funny New Year Resolution - Diet Diary
The following is a diary extract from a friend of ours [Lorna - sorry, I said I wouldn't] who gained weight during December's festivities and now needs to work it off so as to get into her clothes. Also all those of you out there joining fitness classes and clubs as a New Year resolution should, perhaps, read this first: Dear Diet Diary As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Cresley [what a thoughtful darling] bought for me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio [ooh what a name] who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. Monday Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Juan Antonio waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god: he has curly hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Yippee! Juan Antonio gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Juan Antonio [call me Tony by now] was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my stomach was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FABULOUS week! My New Year resolutions will be easy. Tuesday I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out of the door. Tony made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air. Later he put weights on it. My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Tony's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me. Wednesday The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. Tony was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the morning; and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Tony put me on the stair 'monster'. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Tony told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other garbage too. Thursday »Tony was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. That man then took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent a skinny woman to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine - which I sank. Friday I hate that man, Toady or whatever his name is, more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. He is a stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little bighead. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Toady wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the flippin' barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on the health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director? Saturday That person, that Toady, left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel. Sunday I'm having the Church bus collect me up so I can go to services today and thank God that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter Cresley [the cruel, whingeing creep] will choose a gift for me that is fun: like root canal treatment or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds! ************************** Fly the Friendly Skies in your Cessna
And who says our controllers don't have a sense of humor?
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November 22, 1996 - Any More Complaints? The controller working a busy
pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360 (do a complete circle,
usually done to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the
727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make
a 360 in this airplane?"
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four
thousand dollars worth."
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November 15, 1996 - What the...?! PSA was following United, taxiing
out for departure. PSA called the tower and said "Tower, this is
United 586. We've got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go
first."
The tower promptly cleared PSA fortakeoff before United had a chance
to object to the impersonation.
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November 8, 1996 - Which Exit Did You Say That Was? A DC-10 had an
exceedingly long landing rollout after landing with his approach speed
just a little too high...San Jose Tower: "American 751 Heavy, turn
right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off of
Highway 101 back to the airport."
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November 1, 1996 - Ouch! Western Airlines had a term for its second
officers. The term was "GIB," and stood for "Guy In Back." The term
was strictly unofficial and was actually frowned upon by the
management at Western. It seems that some wise-guy pilot had been
browsing through a dictionary and had made the discovery that a "gib"
is a castrated tomcat.
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October 11, 1996 - What Is That Thang? It was a really nice day, right
about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was being vectored into a long line of
airliners in order to land at Kansas City...
KC Approach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a 727, one
o'clock and three miles.
"Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him."
KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven
o'clock and three miles. Do you have that traffic?
"Delta 105: (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl) "Well...
I've got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu or a
Chevelle, though."
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September 6, 1996 - Mmmm-mmm, Good! Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for
takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7."
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure... by the way,
as we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of
the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
124.7... did you copy the report from Eastern?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff... and yes, we
copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers."
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June 28, 1996 - No, That's not what I Said! O'Hare Approach Control:
"United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got that
Fokker in sight."
What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night? "Now I
know why you named your company Microsoft! ***************************** Funny New Year's Eve Jokes
An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves. Bill Vaughan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A New Year Prayer for the Elderly
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New Year's Day Party - That Never Was?
�As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself. Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television. Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how he was and graciously even bought a cold beer for Nigel. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was. Nigel told her it was half time and that the score was still 0-0. 'See?' Janet said happily, 'You didn't miss a thing.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Bad Dream?
Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?' 'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly. At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New Year's Resolutions by Fido
I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV.
I will not steal underwear belonging to my mistress and then dance all over the back yard with it.
I will not chew red crayons or pens, because my master will think that I am haemorrhaging.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my coat BEFORE I enter the house. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Auld Lang Syne
Auld Lang Syne was partially written by Robert Burns in the 1700's, it was first published in 1796 after Burns' death. Early variations of the song were sung prior to 1700 and inspired Burns to produce the modern rendition. An old Scotch tune, 'Auld Lang Syne' literally means 'old long ago,' or simply, 'the good old days.' Here are the lyrics: however, many people seem to remember only the first verse. Auld Lang Syne ꜜShould auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne. Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
And here's a hand, my trusty friend
And gie's a hand o' thine
We'll tak'A cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Love, laugh, make the world happy. Your joy-making shall spread in ever-widening circles, beyond all your knowledge. Centuries after it still bears precious fruit." -- GOD Cushion of the Sea "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging."1 Several years ago a submarine was being tested and had to remain submerged for many hours. When it returned to the harbor, the captain was asked, "How did the terrible storm last night affect you?" The officer looked at him in surprise and exclaimed, "Storm? We didn't even know there was one!" The sub had been so far beneath the surface that it had reached the area known to sailors as "the cushion of the sea." Although the ocean may be whipped into huge waves by high winds, the waters below are never stirred.2 Being a Christian doesn't deliver us from the trials and troubles of life because we live in a broken world where it rains on the just as well as the unjust.3 However, our faith in Christ gives us an anchor in the storm and a hiding place in the shadow of his wings. As David the Psalmist prayed, "Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy! I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until this violent storm is past".4 Suggested prayer: "Dear God, in the words of the hymn writer, 'When the storms of life are raging, Stand by me; When the world is tossing me Like a ship upon the sea Thou Who rulest wind and water, Stand by me.'5 And when the storms of life are raging, help me to put my trust in you so I will find a sense of calm and inner peace regardless of the circumstances that are threatening to drown me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
***************************
WORD FOR THE DAY: chaffer CHAF-er , verb;
1. To bargain; haggle. noun: 1. Bargaining; haggling. verb: 1. To bandy words; chatter Quotes: 'Ours was a place where profit-seeking Phoenician master mariners would come to chaffer the ten thousand gewgaws in their ships: also my father had a Phoenician woman among his bond-maids.
-- Homer, The Odyssey Joy came to bear to it the offering of its thanksgiving and to vow sixpenny bits to the Lord, prosperity came in a high hat to chaffer for the holy privileges, and grief came with rent garments to lament the beloved dead and glorify the name of the Eternal.
-- Israel Zangwill, Children of the Ghetto: a study of a peculiar people Origin:
Chaffer is an alteration of the Middle English chapfare , "a trading journey." The archaic chap maintains a modern presence in the common term related to shopping, cheap . **************************** Learn from your elders
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy. So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the senior's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?' The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?' The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep. *************************** A Romance Novel for our Times
He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.
He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear.
"Just relax."
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.
When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking `no' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say ...
"Okay, ma'am," said a voice. "All done."
My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse. "You can board your flight now."
********************** TODAY'S PET TIP Preparing Your Pet for the Kennel
Once you’ve chosen a kennel, make reservations early and confirm them. When you drop off your pet, don’t stage an emotional “farewell.†Pets are sensitive to your emotions and this may create anxiety.
While kennels range from the barebones to the ultra-fancy, keep in mind that the frills are meant mainly for owners. The dog really doesn't care whether Chopin plays softly in his sleeping quarters. What is important is general safety and the friendliness and competence of the staff. What to Look For in a Kennel The first thing you should do is visit the kennel before you board. Most kennels welcome these visits, and it gives you a chance to see their facilities and ask specific questions. Your questions should be answered to your satisfaction, so that you will feel comfortable leaving your pet when you are away. The kennel should be clean inside and out. Proper sanitation is one of the most important aspects of preventing the spread of contagious diseases. The cages and runs should look and smell clean. Animals that are currently boarding should be clean and appear well cared for.Look at the outdoor area where the dogs are walked. Waste material should be routinely removed, leaving the area relatively free of fecal material. Getting a certain amount of exercise is important for each animal, but how much and how often depends on the individual dog's need and the ability of the kennel to offer these services. Discuss this with the kennel. Find out how often dogs are walked, or if they are allowed to run free in an enclosed area. Some kennels will give dogs extra walks or exercise time, but often at an additional charge. Still, the added activity may be well worth it for the active dog. Indoors, the boarding facility should have adequate cage and run sizes, with larger cages for bigger dogs. Natural light from windows is great, but if not available, indoor lighting should adequate. The air should circulate well and not smell stagnant. Proper ventilation will significantly decrease the risk of disease transmission. Find out how many animals are routinely boarded at a single time and the number of staff taking care of the animals. More people and fewer animals may mean more attention for the individual animals. Some kennels have associations with specific veterinarians either on the premises or working nearby. Find out how sudden illness is addressed. The kennel's veterinarian may be the one contacted for treatment, or it might be your regular veterinarian. If you have a specific preference, discuss this with the kennel owner. If your dog is on medication that is given several times a day, make sure that the kennel personnel are able to administer it appropriately. Some kennels may not be able to give medication as often as your pet requires. Some boarding facilities offer an added benefit of grooming services. Consider having your dog groomed the day he or she is scheduled to go home. It is always nice for your dog to come back from the kennel smelling clean, fresh and newly groomed. Kennel Requirements All dogs that are to be boarded should be healthy and free of contagious diseases. If your dog has a medical problem that is stable or currently under treatment, let the kennel know prior to boarding to make sure they are comfortable boarding your dog. A kennel may require a health certificate from your veterinarian and proof of your dog's most recent vaccinations. If your dog has fleas or other external or internal parasites, he or she should be treated prior to arrival or on admission to the kennel. Certain kennels have very specific requirements regarding vaccinations. Don't assume that your dog has had all of the vaccinations required without checking with the kennel first. For example, some veterinarians are not routinely vaccinating each year for DHLPP (distemper, hepatitis, leptospirosis, parainfluenza, and parvovirus). This may be the veterinarian's general policy, or for specific health reasons of the individual animal. Other times, only one part of the DHLPP might be given. There is no generally accepted rule regarding vaccinations in dogs. In all cases, check with the kennel so that any discrepancies can be addressed prior to boarding. Sometimes, a letter from your veterinarian will be all that is required. Other times, additional vaccines may need to be given. A kennel cough (bordetella) vaccination is a common vaccine required by kennels that may not be routinely given by your veterinarian. It is a vaccine that offers protection from bordetella bronchiseptica, a contagious infection that causes upper respiratory signs (mainly coughing) in dogs. The vaccine is given either subcutaneous or intranasally (via the nose). It is usually administered yearly, but some kennels may additionally require it shortly before boarding. As a general rule, most kennels require DHLPP and kennel cough vaccinations to be given yearly, and rabies vaccines administered according to individual state law. What You Should Bring to The Kennel It is always a good idea to bring your dog's own food to the kennel. Abrupt changes in food commonly lead to diarrhea in many animals, especially when they are in a more stressful environment (i.e. away from home). In dogs that tend to get diarrhea when stressed, a high fiber diet while boarding may help. If your dog is on a special diet or has special dietary needs, make sure the kennel is aware of this, and that they follow your specific instructions. If your dog has a special bed or favorite toy, ask if you can bring them with your pet. Familiar items from home will make your pet feel more comfortable while you are away. The kennel should have several contact numbers available so, if needed, the appropriate people can be contacted in the event of an emergency. First, provide the number (if possible) where you can be reached while you are away. If you are unavailable, a friend or relative's number should be accessible. This person should be able to make any emergency decisions if needed. Discuss your wishes with this person prior to your leaving. The kennel should also have your veterinarian's number in case there are medical problems. This is even more important if there are any on going medical problems with your pet. If your dog typically receives medications at home, they should be continued while boarding. Bring the medications with you to the kennel, and make sure the kennel is aware of the specific problem being treated. If you do not feel that kenneling is appropriate for your pet, you may want to consider hiring a pet sitter. These animal loving people will come to your home to care for your pet. Some may even spend the night. ****************************** Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie Yield: 8 Servings 4 large eggs, beaten
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
3 tablespoons melted butter
2 tablespoons bourbon
1 tablespoon unbleached flour
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup coarsely chopped pecans
3/4 cup chocolate chips
1 9-inch unbaked pie shell
1 cup pecan halves Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Combine eggs, sugars, corn syrup, butter, bourbon, flour, vanilla, and chopped pecans, and stir well. Sprinkle chocolate chips over pie shell. Pour filling over chips, and arrange pecan halves on top. Bake for 10 minutes at 450 degrees F. Reduce heat to 350 degrees F and bake until set, about 35 minutes longer. Serve with lightly sweetened whipped cream, if desired. ************************ Best Ever Beef Roast This is just about the best way in the world to cook a beef roast. I've done this with little roasts all the way up to one that resembled the leg of a brontosaurus and it is totally foolproof. Yield: 4-8 (depends on roast size) 1 beef roast for the oven (any size)
2-3 cloves of garlic, peeled and sliced (optional)
Olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste First, take the roast out of the refrigerator and let it sit at room temperature for an hour. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Place the roast in a pan, fat side up. Oil the top and sides. Make slits in the roast and place a piece of garlic in each slit. Season with salt and pepper. Place the meat in the oven and set the timer for 1 hour. Don't open the door at any time. When the timer rings, turn the oven off and again, do NOT open the door. Decide your serving time and 45 minutes before serving, turn the oven back on at 375 degrees. Cook for 25-30 minutes and then turn the oven off. Remove roast and let it sit wrapped in foil for 15 minutes. ************************* Yorkshire Pudding The classic accompaniment to roast beef. pan drippings
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon salt Set the oven at 450 degrees F. Put some of the drippings from the roast beef in a pan. Mix up the batter of eggs, milk, flour, and salt, and pour into the pan with the drippings. Bake for about 30 minutes. When done, the pudding will be puffy and golden brown. Cut in squares and arrange around the roast. *************************** Roasted Chestnut Soup with Wild Mushrooms This rich, flavorful soup has a slightly nutty taste and a soft, creamy texture. It requires a few simple ingredients and very little preparation time. Yield: 6 servings Preparation Time: 35 minutes Start to Finish Time: 50 minutes 4 tablespoons butter, divided
1 small onion, chopped fine
10 to 12 sprigs fresh thyme, chopped
4-1/2 cups chicken stock
1-1/2 cups heavy cream
3 cups roasted, peeled chestnuts, chopped, divided*
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup fresh (or reconstituted dried) wild mushrooms, such as black trumpet, chanterelle, or morel
Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a stockpot over a moderate flame. Add onion and cook until soft and transparent. Add thyme and saute briefly. Add chicken stock, heavy cream, and 2-1/2 cups of chestnuts. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Simmer 20 to 25 minutes. Puree in batches in a blender until smooth. Adjust seasoning, if necessary. While the soup is simmering, saute mushrooms in 2 tablespoons butter over medium heat 15 to 20 minutes, until slightly crispy but still tender. Pour soup into bowls. Garnish each serving with the remaining chestnuts and mushrooms. Serve immediately **************************** How to Roast Peanuts Roasting your own peanuts is fun and easy. Roasted peanuts have a more intense flavor than raw peanuts and make ideal snacks for parties, seasonal events, and even for adding to some recipes. Follow these simple steps to roast your own peanuts at home. Enjoy! Ingredients
Shelled or unshelled peanuts (as needed) Seasonings (to taste) Steps 1
Raw peanuts
Decide whether you want shelled or unshelled peanuts to roast with.
Rub off the skins
Freeze shelled peanuts overnight. Before roasting them simply knock off their outer skin with your fingers. Alternatively, you can use the method suggested later for removing the skins after roasting.
Leave unshelled peanuts as they are; they do not need freezing.
2 Preheat a conventional oven to 350ºF/180ºC. 3 Arrange the peanuts on large, flat baking tray or cookie sheet lined with baking paper or foil. It is important that the peanuts are all sitting flat and in one layer, to ensure even roasting. 4Place the baking tray or sheet on the middle shelf of the oven. This will help ensure they are cooked evenly throughout. No need to turn these. 5Bake for 15-20 for shelled peanuts and 20-25 minutes for unshelled peanuts. The reason for the difference in cooking times is that the shell eventually holds the heat in closer to the nut and therefore roasts the peanut faster than an unshelled peanut. 6Remove from the oven. If you haven't already remove the skin from the peanuts and you still wish to do so, use the following nifty trick. Place the roasted peanuts in a jar or container and shake them, or into a clean dish towel and rub them. Take the jar, container, or towel outside and open them up and blow away the loose skins.[1] There may be some that still require you to remove the skins by hand but that's up to you. 7 Season with salt and other seasonings you may fancy while the nuts are still hot. You only need a little seasoning to make this natural, roasted snack delicious! Some seasoning suggestions include:
A light dusting of brown sugar and cinnamon makes a delicious sweet treat.
Cajun spices and a little salt are fantastic.
Simple salt is traditional. Freshly ground sea salt is the best for flavouring as the crystals are smaller and will cling more easily - you will not have to use as much this way and the natural minerals in sea salt compared to table salt will do you wonders if this is a favoured snack. 8 Allow to cool a little before eating. Enjoy! Tips Remember that as the peanuts have a high fat content, it is best to season them when they've just come out of the oven. You don't need much as this will absorb all the flavours right into the peanut instead of leaving you a salty/seasoned baking tray and flavourless peanuts.
Peanuts are legumes, not nuts. They have high nutritional value and contain healthy monounsaturated fat. Warnings Peanuts are extremely hot when freshly roasted due to their high fat content. Handle with care and always supervise children in the kitchen when using heat, etc. Things You'll Need Oven
Shallow baking tray/baking sheet 40cm x 20cm (15.7" x 7.87")
Baking paper or kitchen foil ************************ JESUS AND THE DEMOCRAT (I don't care what party you like, this one's funny!!) A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked
the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant
andasked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a
cup of coffee, on him. The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He
shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot
tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over
there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot
tea, "My treat." The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He
hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's
about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant
and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there? The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer.
"On my bill," he said loudly. As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said,
"For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come
back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door. Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness,
you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised
his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door. Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, smiling.
The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me ... I'm collecting
disability." ********************* NEW YEAR EVE SUPERSTITIONS
People across the globe trust in certain superstitions related to New Year's Day. Underlying idea behind most of these superstitions is that events occurring on New Year's Day sets the pattern for the rest of the year. According to customs prevalent in their society, people perform auspicious acts to invite Lady Luck and ward off evil. Given here are some of the most astonishing and popular New Year Superstitions:
Wear New Clothes
People believe that one should wear new clothes on a New Year's Day. This would mean receiving more new garments during the year. Red clothing is preferred for New Year's Day since red is considered a happy colour and is sure to attract for the wearer a brighter future. Avoid Crying
It is said that one should avoid breaking things or crying and wailing on the first day of the year, if you don't want to continue the pattern for the entire year. Be Polite
People say that one should behave nicely on New Year and must refrain from using foul language. Ghost stories and conversations on death should also be avoided. Lucky New Year Babies
Babies born on 1st January is said to be the luckiest of all throughout their lives. Don't Let Money Leave the House
In several countries, people do not let money, jewelry, precious items or other invaluable things leave home on New Year Day. Hence it is said that one should not pay loans and bills or lend things to anybody. People go to the extent of not taking out garbage or even not dusting their carpets on this day to ensure that nothing goes out of home during the year. If you have to deliver presents on New Year morning, it is advised to leave them in the car since New Year Eve on December 31st. In case you must take something out from the home, let someone come with the present inside the home first. Letting the Old Year Out
At midnight, all the doors of a house must be opened to let the old year escape unimpeded. Stack Up Cupboards and Wallets
It is believed that cupboards stocked up with food and wallets and purses full of money bring prosperity in New Year. Similarly, empty pockets or empty cupboards on New Years Eve portend a year of poverty. Do not Wash Dishes
In several societies washing dishes and doing laundry on New Year's day is said to lead to a death in the family during the year. Many people do not even wash hair on New Year day. Do Token Amount of Work
It is said that one must do token amount of work on the New Year's Day. This is said to ensure advancement in career. But starting out a serious work project is unlucky on New Year Day. Make Noise
People believe that Evil One and his attendants and servants hate din and loud noise. So, scare them away by being as loud in New Year celebrations as possible. Church bells are rung at midnight for the same reason. Don't Keep Debts
Pay your bills and loans before New Year Eve, so you don't have any debt left for New Year. Eat Black-Eyes Peas
In Southern part of the United States it is said that eating of black-eyed peas on New Year's Day will attract both general good luck and money in particular to the one doing the dining. Kiss at Midnight
It is believed that kissing at midnight ensures that affections and ties will continue throughout the New Year. On similar lines, it is said, to not do this would be to set the stage for a year of coldness. First Footing
One must never leave the home before someone comes in first. First footer in the house should be ushered in with a warm welcome and should not have flat feet, cross-eyes or eyebrows stretching out to meet in the middle. It would be even better if he came bearing certain small gifts. The Direction of Wind
The direction of wind during sunrise on New Year morning prophesies about the coming year. Wind from south foretells fine weather and prosperous times ahead while wind from north foretells bad weather. Wind blowing from east foretells natural calamities and wind from west foretells plenty of milk and fish for all but death of a person of great national importance. No wind means joy and prosperity throughout the year. Dance in the Open Air
To dance in the open air, especially round a tree, on New Year's Day ensures luck in love and prosperity and freedom from ill health during the coming twelve months. Find Future Groom
On New Year's Day if, on rising, a girl should look out of her bedroom window and see a man passing by, she may reckon to be married before the year is finished. Drain the Bottle
You could ensure yourself good fortune by draining the last dregs from a bottle of drink on New Years!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
Our Daily Devotional:
Finding Peace In Him Matthew 6:33-34 NIV: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. It is truly God´s desire to work within our life situations, bringing us peace and resolution before, during and after our storms. We often frantically search our minds for answers. We might even pray first and then, praying aside, we begin to search our minds for the answers. But we should keep in mind that there are many times that we have no answers on our own, and when we reach the end of our list of possibilities we will become worried and frustrated--and worried and scared--and worried...You get the idea. Yet rather than finding comfort once we have found an answer, God would have us find our comfort and then find the answer. For as we seek Him first, we find His peace and comfort and we release worry and anxiety, and then our eyes are open to see His answers for our situations
And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:
- Job 19:26
******************************* WORD FOR THE DAY: numinous • NOO-muh-nus • adjective
1 : supernatural, mysterious 2 : filled with a sense of the presence of divinity : holy 3 : appealing to the higher emotions or to the aesthetic sense : spiritual Examples:
As she listened to the choir sing in the candlelit sanctuary, Marianne was overcome by a sense of numinous awe. "The instrumental interlude is notated as a musical staff drawn in a circle with eight more musical staffs protruding as 'musical rays.' It’s hard to follow but easy to understand, a thing of numinous visual and aural beauty." --From a review by Mark Swed in the Los Angeles Times, November 17, 2010 ****************************** Boxing Day (Canada)
This holiday derives from the Old English custom of giving Christmas "boxes" to tradesmen, postmen, and servants. The original boxes were usually made of earthenware and contained money, which could be retrieved only by breaking the boxes open. These days, a gift of money is usually contained in a greeting card and given before the holiday. Where celebrated (Great Britain, Canada, and Australia), Boxing Day is welcomed as a quiet day of recuperation from the season's hectic festivities. It is also the biggest day of the year for soccer playoffs.
December 26—Start of Kwanzaa
From December 26 through January 1, Kwanzaa is observed worldwide by those of African descent. Each day centers on one of seven principles: unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith.
******************************
"Only the dreamer shall understand realities, though in truth his dreaming must be not out of proportion to his waking." - Margaret Fuller Satchel Paige
"Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you." Joe E. Lewis
"There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty." Bill Vaughan
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them." ************************ For years I've been getting a terrific rotisserie chicken from a nearby restaurant. One night as I placed an order to go, I told the girl behind the counter, "I'll pick it up later. Do you want my name?" "Oh, no," she said. "I've seen you come in here a lot." Then she scribbled something on a piece of paper. Feeling flattered, I did my errands. When I grabbed my order, I glanced at her note on the bag: "Old man in the pink shirt."
*******************************
A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a few beers the Smartie says, "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?"
The Jelly Baby says, "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end Up getting my head kicked in."
So Smartie says, "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you."
Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says, "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me", and off they go.
After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.
The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking cola bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says, "I thought you were going to look after me.
"I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are f***ing menthol".
***************************** Chaps Paddy and Mick... Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London .
Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye. The sign read: "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per pairâ€.
Paddy says to his pal; “Mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, OK? Just let me do all the talking, cause if they hear our accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent." "Roight y'are, Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will," replies
Mick.
They go in and Paddy says; "I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100
shirts at £2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my van and..."
The owner of the shop interrupts. "You're from Ireland aren't you?"
"Well... Yes," says a surprised Paddy. "How der hell d' y' know dat?" The owner replied, "This is a dry cleanersâ€.
************************* Campbell's 2-Step Cheesy Garlic Twists Try this easy, delicious recipe from Campbell's Kitchen. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 15 mins. 1/2 box (8 oz.) corkscrew pasta
1 jar (28 oz.) Prego Traditional Pasta Sauce
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup Pepperidge Farm Classic Caesar Croutons
Cook 1/2 box corkscrew pasta. Drain.
Stir together cooked pasta and 1 jar (28 oz.) Prego Pasta Sauce*. Top with 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese and 1/2 cup Pepperidge Farm Roasted Garlic Croutons (crushed). Heat through.
******************************* Sweet Potato Yeast Rolls Sweet,light,airy,and delicious. Serve with plenty of butter and honey.
Servings:84
Ingredients * 3 packages active dry yeast
* 3/4 cup warm water(105-115 degrees)
* 7 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 tablespoon salt
* 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
* 1 1/2 cups sugar
* 1 1/2 cups shortening
* 3 cups sweet potatoes- cooked,warm,and mashed
* 1/2 cup butter-melted Directions 1. Combine yeast and warm water in a small bowl. Let stand 5 minutes.
2. Combine flour,baking powder,salt,cinnamon,and sugar in large bowl. Cut shortening with fork or pastry blender until mixture is crumbly.
3. Add yeast mixture and sweet potatoes. Stir until dry ingredients are moistened.
4. Turn dough out onto a floured surface. Knead for 5 minutes.
5. Place dough in a lightly greased bowl. Turn dough to coat.
6. Cover and refrigerate for 8 hours or overnight.
7. Turn dough out onto a floured surface and roll to 1/2-inch thickness.
8. Cut with a 2" biscuit cutter.
9. Dip rolls quickly in melted butter and place on ungreased baking sheets.
10. Cover and let rise in warm place for 30 minutes or until double in size.
11. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or until lightly browned.
12. Serve hot with additional butter and honey.
13. Note:
14. This recipe can be cut in half. ****************************** Dark Chocolate Pudding Pie Prep Time: 10 mins
Total Time: 15 mins
Serves: 8, Yield: 1 Pie Ingredients: 1 (5 1/8 ounce) Jell-O chocolate pudding and pie filling
6 bittersweet chocolate squares
3 cups whole milk
1 (9 inch) graham cracker crust Directions: 1 Chop up 4 squares of Bakers chocolate. Set aside.
2 With a cheese grater, grate the remaining two squares of chocolate into a bowl or bin. Set aside.
3 Mix together Chocolate Pudding mix and milk in a medium saucepan.
4 Turn stove onto medium heat, add chopped chocolate, and mix continuously until mixture reaches a rolling boil. The chocolate will melt. 5 Carefully pour pudding into Ready Crust. Wait 1 minute, then sprinkle grated chocolate on top. Sprinkle more or less to your tasting. Using all will create a delicious, crisp chocolate shell.
6 Let pie cool on counter for 20 minutes before transferring to the fridge where it should set for at least 4 hours.
7 Serve alone or with whipped cream! ***************************** Garlic Shrimp in Tomato Sauce This chunky tomato sauce tastes much like the familiar puttanesca sauce that is usually served on pasta. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 26 minutes INGREDIENTS: 3 tablespoons olive oil
2 pounds large shrimp, shelled
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 large pinch dried red pepper flakes
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
2 medium tomatoes, (about 3/4 pound), peeled and chopped
1 cup canned crushed tomatoes in thick puree
1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary, or 1/4 teaspoon dried rosemary
2 tablespoons drained capers
1/3 cup halved pitted black olives DIRECTIONS: In a large nonstick frying pan, heat the oil over moderate heat. Add the shrimp, garlic, red-pepper flakes, salt, and black pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until the shrimp are just done, about 5 minutes. Remove the shrimp with a slotted spoon.
Add the fresh tomatoes, canned tomatoes, rosemary, capers, and olives to the pan. Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for 15 minutes. Stir in the shrimp and simmer until just heated through, about 1 minute. Variation
Substitute four boneless, skinless chicken breasts for the shrimp. Make the sauce separately by sautéing the garlic for a minute, adding the red-pepper flakes, salt, and black pepper, and then proceeding with Step 2. In a medium frying pan, heat just one tablespoon of oil over moderate heat. Season the chicken breasts with a quarter teaspoon salt and an eighth teaspoon pepper and put them in the pan. Cook the chicken until brown, about five minutes. Turn and cook until almost done, about three minutes longer. Cover the pan, remove from the heat, and let steam five minutes. Top the chicken with the sauce.
****************************
Old Fashioned Chocolate Pudding or Cream Pie
Servings 6 Chocolate pudding is always in the refrigerator at Jimtown, the help-yourself portion cups displayed in a flat, brown pottery bowl. Regulars in the throes of a craving have been known to leave their vehicles idling out front of the store while they dash in, grab a cup of pudding, and dash out. We understand: Velvety smooth, dark luscious chocolate-it's the real thing and doesn't resemble anything made from a box. Top the pudding with a dollop of whipped cream, if you're serving it to company, or just with a float of half-and-half, if you're enjoying it alone. We often suggest sharing because it's a nice thing to do. The recipe and text below were shared with us by the very personable and entertaining Carrie Brown, chef/proprietor of the Jimtown General Store in Healdsburg, California. We met Carrie at the fabulous Ahwahnee Hotel in California's Yosemite National Park, where she was teaching a cooking class as part of the Ahwahnee's Chef's Holiday programs (see travel links below). These fun culinary programs allow you to escape to the beauty of Yosemite, along with some of your favorite chefs, who you'll join for special dinners, receptions and classes. Ingredients
6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
6 tablespoons plus 1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup cornstarch
4 cups half-and-half
2 large eggs
4 large egg yolks
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips (or chopped semisweet chocolate such as Scharfenburger)
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon vanilla extract Instructions
Into a small bowl, sift together the cocoa powder, the 6 tablespoons sugar, and the cornstarch. Gradually whisk in 1 cup of the half-and-half; continue to whisk until smooth.
In a large bowl, thoroughly whisk together the eggs and egg yolks. In a heavy, medium saucepan, stir together the remaining 1/2 cup sugar, the remaining 3 cups half-and-half, and the salt. Set over medium heat and bring just to a simmer. whisk in the cocoa mixture. Bring to a boil, whisking constantly. Lower the heat and cook, whisking constantly, until very thick, about 3 minutes. Gradually whisk the hot cocoa mixture into the beaten eggs, whisking constantly to ensure that the eggs don't get "scrambly". Return this mixture to the pan and set over low heat. Cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture just reaches an obvious boil. This is important, otherwise, the pudding might not "set" properly. Remove from the heat and immediately add the chocolate chips and butter. Stir until smooth. Stir in the vanilla. For a smoother texture, if desired, use a rubber scraper to force the pudding through a sieve. Divide the pudding while warm among 6 to 8 dessert cups or ramekins (or spoon it into a single, medium-sized attractive serving bowl). Cool to room temperature, then cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until cold, at least 4 hours. The pudding can be prepared up to 3 days in advance. Serve cold, topped with whipped cream or half-and-half if desired. Variation:
This recipe will also fill a fully-baked 9-inch pie shell or a graham cracker crust, if chocolate cream pie is on your mind. Cool the pudding slightly, then mound it in the pie shell. Cool completely, cover, and chill well, preferably overnight. Whip 1-1/2 cups heavy cream to stiff peaks. Mound the cream atop the pie, spreading it to the edges, and swirling it into decorative peaks. Cut the pie into wedges and serve very cold.
*************************************** A THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 10 SECONDS OR SO HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE". BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY... I JUST HAVEN'T DONE IT YET. MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"
BILLY SAYS: "IT WORKS ON THE KETCHUP BOTTLE!" ******************************* ANDY ROONEY??? ON SEX ~ AND HE'S RIGHT ON ~
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes. 17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!
************************** TODAY'S PET TIP Onion Toxicity in Dogs
Does your dog sit in the kitchen while you cook, nibbling away as you chop onions with wild abandon?
Next time be careful not to let stray onions make it past your dog's lips. Onions can be toxic. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What To Do If Your Dog Is Bleeding - Be Prepared Last week I stopped by the local emergency clinic. A gentleman and his wife brought in their dog into the clinic because he was "bleeding". They didn't know what had happened but there was blood everywhere. Literally, they were arguing about something and it was hard to get a good history about the dog. We initially thought that the dog had been hit by a car. The dog had blood on his head, in his ears, in his mouth, and his fur was covered with blood. His vital signs were stable so we proceeded to try to wipe him down to find the source of blood. Believe it or not - all of that blood was coming from a cut on his foot. The dog had cut a big arterial blood vessel and proceeded to bleed for 3 hours before coming to the emergency clinic. The owners were hysterical. To make a long story short, this dog had lost a lot of blood. Many times when a dog is bleeding it LOOKS like a lot of blood but it really isn't. In this case, it really was. We sedated the dog and sutured the wound. After surgery, we monitored his blood counts and they dropped so low that he required a blood transfusion. We spoke with the owners more and they said that the dog had been in the yard when they noticed the foot bleeding, but they thought that it would stop. It didn't. And 3 hours later they ended up here in the emergency clinic. The key lesson? As responsible pet owners we must know what to do if our dog is bleeding. The treatment doesn't have to be fancy but effective. Keep your dog calm. When you see where the blood is coming from, get a clean cloth or towel and apply gently pressure on the wound. Don't use a tourniquet. Just apply gentle pressure and go see your veterinarian. I also strongly recommend that you keep a first aid kit for your dog handy. Take a minute and consider what should be in your dog's home to help him in the case of an emergency. Look at the list of what should be in a dog first aid kit and put it on your list so you can pick it up the next time you are at the store. Keep your dog safe. If you don't know what to do in an emergency, keep the number to your vet or local ER handy so they can help guide you until you can get to the clinic. ****************************** You might be a REDNECK if...
...your car is on cement blocks in the backyard
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
- P. G. Wodehouse Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.
- Chester Bowles Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
- Euripides CONFUCIOUS SAYS: Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.
THING TO PONDER: If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked?
******************************* Adventures in teaching My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales
at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often
ad-libs parts of the stories for fun. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade
class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three
Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was
trying to acquire building materials for his home. She
said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a
wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might
I have some of that straw to build my house with?'" Then the
teacher asked the class "And what do you think that man said?"
and my friend's son raised his hand and said "I know! I know! He said 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'" ****************************** Top 10 Signs You're At A Lame New Year's Eve Party 10. To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled and pick-pocketed
9. The 'Party Hats' look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones
8. There's a "Happy 1995" sticker on the packete of shrimp you've been eating all night
7. It's January 6th
6. Prison regulations require lights out at 10:00 pm
5. The guests have decided to start the midnight countdown at 10,000
4. At midnight everyone gathers around to watch your Uncle Earl's pants drop
3. You hear a guy doing a count down before using the bathroom
2. The 'Champagne' tastes suspiciously like apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer
1. You are the only one in the room, everyone has left the bldg. ********************** A Brief History of Brother Bob's New Year Resolutions 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2000: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2001: I will read 5 books a year.
2002: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2003: I will try and finish the comics section this year.
1999: I will get my weight down below 170.
2000: I will watch my calories until my weight is below 200.
2001: I will follow my new diet until I get below 220.
2002: I will work out once a week.
2003: I will drive past a gym at least once a week.
1999: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2000: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2001: I will be totally out of debt by next year.
2002: I will try to pay off the debt interest by next year.
2003: I will try to be out of the country by next year. ********************************** A New Year's Wish On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lecture Tour with A Difference On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer. 'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger. 'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically. 'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Politician in Action A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. 'If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New Year Jokes - One Liners To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year.
I gave up thinking. Definition of a hangover:
Wrath of Grapes. ************************** Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.
Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still."
Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.
The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"
You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.
You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.
You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
Your catch phrase is, "Never again."
You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.
Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
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