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**  A poem by Donald E. Long 1992 which I found at the Dorn Veterans Hospital.  I want to share this with you because it says lot how many Vietnam Veterans felt/feel.

 

 

 

VIETNAM VETERNAN

I'm a Vietnam Veteran, that's what I am.

I did my best for my Uncle Sam.

hile doing my best I made it through

But others, America, have died for you.

 

You don't know the hurt, don't know the pain,

That when I come back, things weren't the same.

And you also don't know the joy inside

For the job I did, I have such pride.

 

The sad thing is, not everyone was there

to see me fight with rules "unfair";

to see my love for my fellow man;

to see my sacrifice in the air, jungle and sand.

 

I didn't run to Canada, or try to hide.

It wasn't my horse but I had to ride.

I had a family , friends and others to protect.

If you tried to understand, I'd get more respect.

 

I don't really expect you to know how I feel.

You got your knowledge from a TV reel.

You don't know that the truth about war

Is better learned from those who went ashore.

 

It doesn't matter that history is wrong.

It matters that I can still sing my song

of pride . . . and joy. . . for my Uncle Sam.

I'm a Vietnam Veteran, that's what I am. 

 

It's too bad congress, newsmen and such

Weren't concerned enough to want to touch

My soul while I was passing the test.

Instead they thought "what makes me look best?"

 

But I don't concern myself with them

Whose ignorance and selfishness still wear thin.

Instead I think now of what to doTo continue to glorify old "red, white and blue".

 

If you should ask me "how it was over there?"

I'd reply "the public, over here, was very unfair".

I'd also say our politicians blew it

They confused Chicago with Ban Me Thuot.

 

Theses things can't hurt me now my brother.

I understand and will soon help another

to love those words that sound so grand,

"I'm a Vietnam Veteran, That's what I am"'

"I'm a Vietnam Veteran . . . . that's what I am".

by Donald E. Long 1992

Tags: War Poem

REMINDERS FROM GOD:

"Delay is not denial, but the all-loving Divine control that can scarcely tolerate the delay." -  GOD

Our Daily Devotional:

Seen In Your Eyes

Matthew 5:14-16, NIV: "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
The writer of Hebrews tells us, "let us fix our eyes on Jesus" (Heb.12:2). If my eyes are fixed on Him, I would imagine that my eyes reflect Him. When others look into my eyes, what is it that they see? Do they see the Light that indwells me? Do they see the reflection of the One that I have my eyes fixed on? Jesus said, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" (Mt. 6:22-23). There are many things we can fix our eyes on instead of Jesus. Jobs, relationships, finances, romances, self improvement, self involvement, the list goes on (cf. Mat. 13:22). Even noble causes can replace Christ as the center of our focus. If we do not take measures to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, these other things can become a bowl (or bushel) that covers our lamp to keep our light from shining in the darkness.

Jeremiah 17:7-8
““But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.””

Therefore, behold, I will proceed to do a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder: for the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hid.
- Isaiah 29:14 

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WORD FOR THE DAY:

savant • sa-VANT  • noun
: a person of learning; especially : one with detailed knowledge in some specialized field (as of science or literature)

Examples:
Since she knew that Brad was a savant when it came to cars, Millicent sought his advice on which of the year’s new models she should test-drive.

"It takes a certain type of savant to attend a Pink Floyd tribute show and audit every note, tempo, timbre, and sibilance. It takes an even more maniacal enthusiast to confirm which songs would have been embellished into improvisational sub-genres, and for how long." -- From a blog post by Ryan Carey on the web site of the Philadelphia City Paper, February 8, 2011

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This doctrine of Christ and of the apostles, from which the true faith of the primitive church was received, the apostles at first delivered orally, without writing, but later, not by any human counsel but by the will of God, they handed it on in the Scriptures.
Martin Chemniz

I know people look at me and try to make conclusions about me immediately, based on the obvious, let's say.
John Lone

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain

You might be a REDNECK if... 
    ...you believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law. 
 
THINGS TO PONDER:  Why is yawning contagious?

CONFUCIOUS QUOTE:  Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

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Both my son and daughter-in-law are full-time college students, and don't have time or money for anything other than school. I was with them in church when the minister gave a sermon on marriage. "The three most common problems that can lead to divorce," he warned, "involve money, children and sex."

At that my son whispered to his wife, "Then we should be okay. We don't have any of those."

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When I went to a Christian school, I walked into the cafeteria and there on the table was a plate of fruit. Next to it was a sign that said "Take one. God is watching."?span>
Next to the fruit was a plate of cookies, which had a sign next to it, written by a fellow student, that said "Take as many as you want. God is watching the fruit."?p>

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Holton sat down in a Green Bay restaurant and said to the waitress, "Do you know whether the milk from this dairy is pasteurized?" "Sure is!" she answered.
"Every morning they turn the cows out to pasture."

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One little punctuation mark would have made a world of difference in the gigantic sign I saw posted outside a local family restaurant: "Kids Under 12 Eat Free Live Clown Every Wednesday."??

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The lady was waiting to buy a ticket at the picture show when a stranger bumped her shoulder. She glared at him, feeling it was done intentionally.

"Well," he growled, "don't eat me up."

"You are in no danger, sir," she said. "I am a Jewess."

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Cha-Cha-Cha Chicken

Got 15 minutes?  This baked chicken dish, made with pineapple, ginger and a kicky picante sauce, will have them dancing to the dinner table.

Serves: 4
Prep. time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 45 minutes

4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (about 1 pound) 
2 large onions, cut into rings 
1 can pineapple slices in juice, drained 
1 jar (16 ounces) Pace Picante Sauce 
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves 
2 tablespoons packed brown sugar 
1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger root 
1 tablespoon cooking sherry 
1 teaspoon soy sauce 
2 cups hot cooked rice, regular long grain white rice or jasmine rice 

Heat the oven to 350°F.  Line a 3-quart shallow baking pan with aluminum foil.  Layer the chicken, onions and pineapple in the pan.
Stir the picante sauce, cilantro, brown sugar, ginger root, sherry and soy sauce in a medium bowl. Pour the picante sauce mixture over the pineapple. Cover the pan.
Bake for 45 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Serve the chicken and sauce with the rice. Garnish with additional cilantro, if desired.
 
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Tangerine Pound Cake

Prep Time  20 Minutes
Total Time 3:40 Hrs:Mins
Makes  16 servings

 Pound for pound, this fine textured cake, rich in butter and eggs is a winner served plain or dressed up with whipped cream and fruit.

Pound Cake
3  cups Gold Medal all-purpose flour 
1  teaspoon baking powder 
1/4  teaspoon salt 
2 1/2  cups sugar 
1  cup butter or margarine, softened 
1  tablespoon grated tangerine peel 
1  teaspoon vanilla 
5  eggs 
1  cup milk 

Tangerine-Rum Glaze
3/4  cup sugar 
3  tablespoons butter or margarine 
1/4  cup tangerine juice 
2  tablespoons rum or 1 teaspoon rum extract 
  
Heat oven to 350ºF. Grease bottom and side of 12-cup fluted tube cake pan or 2 (9x5-inch) loaf pans with shortening; lightly flour. Mix flour, baking powder and salt; set aside.
In large bowl, beat 2 1/2 cups sugar, 1 cup butter, the tangerine peel, vanilla and eggs with electric mixer on low speed 30 seconds, scraping bowl constantly. Beat on high speed 5 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Beat in flour mixture alternately with milk on low speed, beating just until smooth after each addition. Pour into pan(s). (If using fluted tube cake pan, place pan on cookie sheet.)
Bake fluted tube cake pan 1 hour 10 minutes to 1 hour 20 minutes, loaf pans 55 to 60 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.
Meanwhile, in 1-quart saucepan, heat 3/4 cup sugar, 3 tablespoons butter and the tangerine juice over medium heat, stirring frequently, until sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat; stir in rum.
Immediately poke long skewer into top of baked cake at 1-inch intervals (about 20 times). Spoon glaze over cake, allowing glaze to soak into holes. Cool 20 minutes; remove from pan(s) to wire rack. Cool completely, about 2 hours.

Substitution
Orange peel and juice can be substituted for tangerine peel and juice.

Nutrition Information:

1 Serving (1 Serving)Calories 400(Calories from Fat 145),Total Fat 16g(Saturated Fat 9g,Trans Fat ncg),Cholesterol 105mg;Sodium 190mg;Total Carbohydrate 60g(Dietary Fiber 1g,Sugars ncg),Protein 5g;Percent Daily Value*:Calcium ;Exchanges:nc Starch;nc Fruit;nc Other Carbohydrate;nc Skim Milk;nc Low-Fat Milk;nc Milk;nc Vegetable;nc Very Lean Meat;nc Lean Meat;nc High-Fat Meat;nc Fat;Carbohydrate Choices:nc;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.

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Beer Dip

Ranch dressing mix flavors this fast-to-fix mixture that’s packed with shredded cheese. “This thick dip is made to go with pretzels,”
“It’s one of those snacks that when you start eating it, you can’t stop! This dip can be made with any type of beer, including nonalcoholic beer.

28 Servings Prep/Total Time: 5 min.

Ingredients
2 packages (8 ounces each) cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup beer or nonalcoholic beer
1 envelope ranch salad dressing mix
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
Pretzels

Directions
In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese, beer and dressing until smooth. Stir in cheddar cheese. Serve with pretzels. Refrigerate leftovers. Yield: 3-1/2 cups.

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Baked Spaghetti

8-10 Servings Prep: 25 min. Bake: 1 hour
Ingredients
1 package (16 ounces) spaghetti
1 pound ground beef
1 medium onion, chopped
1 jar (26 ounces) meatless spaghetti sauce
1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt
2 eggs
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
5 tablespoons butter, melted
2 cups (16 ounces) 4% cottage cheese
4 cups (16 ounces) part-skim shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions

Cook spaghetti according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large skillet, cook beef and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Stir in spaghetti sauce and seasoned salt; set aside.
In a large bowl, whisk the eggs, Parmesan cheese and butter. Drain spaghetti; add to egg mixture and toss to coat.
Place half of the spaghetti mixture in a greased 13-in. x 9-in. baking dish. Top with half of the cottage cheese, meat sauce and mozzarella cheese. Repeat layers.
Cover and bake at 350° for 40 minutes. Uncover; bake 20-25 minutes longer or until cheese is melted. Yield: 8-10 servings.

Nutrition Facts: 1 serving (1-1/2 cups) equals 526 calories, 24 g fat (13 g saturated fat), 127 mg cholesterol, 881 mg sodium, 45 g carbohydrate, 3 g fiber, 31 g protein.

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Corned Beef and Cabbage

Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day! Celebrate with this traditional boiled meal but don't forget about it on other days of the year.

Serves: 6
Prep. time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 3 hours

3 pounds corned beef, or brisket 
4 cloves garlic 
1 teaspoon black peppercorns 
6 medium-size onions 
6 medium-size potatoes, scrubbed 
6 medium-size carrots, peeled and trimmed 
1 green cabbage, trimmed and cut into 6 wedges 
 
Put the beef in a large, heavy pan or pot with enough cold water to cover it by 1 inch. Add the garlic and peppercorns, bring to the boil and then reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook gently for about 3 hours until the beef is tender but not falling apart.

About 20 minutes before beef is done, add the onions, potatoes, carrots and cabbage and continue cooking until they are just tender.

Remove the beef and transfer it to a serving platter. Cover and keep warm.

Increase the heat under the saucepan to moderately high and cook for 10 to 15 minutes longer until the vegetables are tender. Arrange the vegetables on the platter around the beef. Serve immediately with pickles, horseradish and mustard.

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Impossibly Easy Coconut Pie

Enjoy a scrumptious coconut pie that’s impossibly easy to make because there’s no crust to roll.

1  cup flaked or shredded coconut 
3/4  cup sugar 
1/2  cup Original Bisquick mix 
1/4  cup butter or margarine, softened 
2  cups milk 
1 1/2  teaspoons vanilla 
4  eggs 
  
  
DIRECTIONS

 Heat oven to 350°F. Grease 9-inch pie plate with shortening or cooking spray.
In medium bowl, stir all ingredients until blended. Pour into pie plate.
Bake 50 to 55 minutes or until golden brown and knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Cover and refrigerate any remaining pie.

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Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

–Jack Handey 

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Carl Sandburg
"I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way."

Bertrand Russell
"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."

Helen Hayes
"Age is not important unless you're a cheese."

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FISHING

  Mike was attending his 4X4 club's monthly meeting and had just told them he couldn't make the camping trip scheduled for the next day because his wife wouldn't let him go.
After listening to the jeers and other derisive remarks from his fellow 4X4 friends Mike left to go back home to his wife.

When Mike's friends started arriving to set up camp the next day, who should be there but Mike sitting up in front of his truck, tent up, fishing rod in hand, camp oven roast stewing away in a hot bed of coals.

"How did ya talk your wife into letting you go Mike?"

"I didn't have to" was Mike's reply.  "When I left the meeting I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows.  Then my wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'!"
When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see - through negligee, was sipping on a large Martini and  said, "Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want."

So here I am!

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1947
Probably one of the best emails of the year!!!

The year is 1947
 
Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico . This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
 
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:
 
  Albert A. Gore, Jr...
  Hillary Rodham
  John F. Kerry
  William J. Clinton
  Howard Dean
  Nancy Pelosi
  Dianne Feinstein
  Charles E. Schumer
  Barbara Boxer
 
  See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses?
  I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me.
 
  No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens!

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PET CORNER

I know you love your dogs and love to spoil them. We have received many suggestions from dog lovers on how to spoil their dogs.

I'd like to share a few with you today. Enjoy!

Tips for how to spoil your dog:
 
1. Keep A Photo of Your Dog

This is a great tip for keeping your pooch safe. Keep a picture of your dog with you. It is a great way to prove ownership and help others assist in locating her if she is ever lost. Also, it is a great way for pet lovers to brag about their pet.

2. Just Be Around

Beyond all the normal ways to spoil your dog, what your dog loves most is just having you around. One pet lover wrote, "The bottom line is to just spend time with them, they really don't seem to care what I do, just so long as I'm around.  And it's good for me too; their happiness and devotion is special, no other creature on this earth gives so much of themselves as do dogs.."

3. Find a Good Dog Sitter or Responsible Kennel

When you travel, take the time to spoil your dog by finding a responsible person to watch your dog while you're away. This can take time but is important and worth it.  They are your babies and they deserve he best.

4. Give Them Individual Exercise Attention

Exercise is important to dogs for their mental and physical health and all dogs are different. One pet lover wrote, "My husband and I have four dogs...and we spoil each one by giving individual exercise attention." What treat or toy really turns on one dog will be different for another dog.

5. Buy a Surprise at the Store

One pet lover spoils her dogs by buying a surprise at the store. She writes, "I spoil my dogs by always getting treats for them at the grocery store.  As soon as I come in, I make them sit down and wait until I get all the grocery bags inside and set them on the floor.  They both stick their noses just inside the bags and it never fails, they always find the bag with their "sealed" treats inside!  It amazes me each time they do it."

6. Thank Your Dog for What He Teaches You

Another dog lover writes, "A dog is one of God's gifts to us so that we may grow and learn.  There is just so much you can learn from your dog.  The bonds we form with our pets are amazing.  The ways I spoil my dog are my gifts back to her for what she has taught me about myself and life."

7. Be Prepared to Do the Best

Another way to spoil your dog is to ensure that you can do the best for him in case a medical problem or emergency occurs.

I hope these tips help give you some new ideas about spoiling your precious pooch. 

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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
  - Scott Adams

If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day.
  - John A. Wheeler

No man ever listened himself out of a job.
  - Calvin Coolidge

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BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............

(scroll down)
 

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
 
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 THIS IS ESPECIALLY FOR YOU - My dear friend from faceook. . .(giggles you know who you are)
 
 They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance...
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits

REMINDERS FROM GOD:

"Let My Peace fill you. Allow My Love to guide and inspire your words, thoughts, and actions." -- GOD

Our Daily Devotional:

Fading Faith

Hebrews 12:1-2, NIV: "...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..."

It was hard for him to put his finger on it, but somewhere along the way, Tom's childlike faith began to fade. The change had occurred over years, but suddenly it appeared as different as night is to day. Once vibrant and passionate about Jesus, he now was simply going through the motions. He did not know how it happened--he only knew he wanted that simple child-like faith to return. Tom's story is all too familiar to so many of us. We've been there before, or may even be there now. Like Tom, we wonder what happened, and when exactly things began to change. It might be described like eyes that have been in the Light, readjusting to the dark. And that darkness, we need not think of only as sin, but also as the cares of this life that take our eyes off of where they belong. The solution seems difficult, but God is ready to help us to overcome. We simply have to throw off everything that hinders and put our eyes on Jesus. The rest, as it were, will come.

And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle.

- Exodus 33:11 

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WORD FOR THE DAY:

circuitous • ser-KYOO-uh-tus  • adjective
1 : having a circular or winding course 2 : not being forthright or direct in language or action

Examples:
Jenn came up with the same answer I did, but her method was more circuitous, so I showed her how she could do the problem a lot faster.

"The splashy DeSean Jackson and the serene Jeremy Maclin are the Eagles' starting wide receivers. They could be called the Sod Couple, because both young receivers make big plays. But that's where the similarities really end. Jackson flops and detours along the goal line on his circuitous route to the end zone. Maclin goes straight in for six points, face first and as fast as he can." -- From an article in the Courier-Post (Cherry Hill, New Jersey), December 24, 2010

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THING TO PONDER:      If something was miss-spelled in a dictionary how would we know  .

THINGS TO PONDER:   If a parsley farmer is sued can he garnish his wages?

You might be a REDNECK if... 
    ...the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front 
 
CONFUCIOUS QUOTE:  The firm, the enduring, the simple, and the modest are near to virtue.

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
  - Stephen Hawking

I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.
  - Michel de Montaigne

With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.
  - P. J. O'Rourke

Frank Carson
"I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance."

Mitch Hedberg
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."

Ellen DeGeneres
"I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut."

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Prosciutto-Wrapped Scallops with Spinach

This take on the classic bacon-wrapped appetizer uses prosciutto instead to wrap meaty scallops. High-quality Italian prosciutto, found at well-stocked supermarkets or Italian specialty stores, has an incomparable melt-in-your-mouth texture. It's more expensive, but you only need a little for this recipe. Make it a meal: Serve with an unoaked chardonnay and our recipe for Wild Rice Salad.

  4 servings

Active Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes

 Ingredients
12 large dry sea scallops, (about 1 pound; see Note)
1/4 teaspoon lemon pepper
1 1/4 ounces very thinly sliced prosciutto, (about 3 slices), cut into 12 long strips
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon freshly grated lemon zest
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground pepper, to taste
12 ounces baby spinach

Preparation
Place rack in upper third of oven; preheat broiler. Coat a large baking sheet with cooking spray.
Pat scallops dry and sprinkle both sides with lemon pepper. Wrap 1 piece of prosciutto around each scallop. Thread 3 scallops crosswise onto each skewer (securing the prosciutto to the scallop) and place on the prepared baking sheet. Broil until just cooked through, about 6 minutes.
Meanwhile, whisk oil, lemon zest, lemon juice, salt and pepper in a medium bowl. Reserve 1 tablespoon vinaigrette in a small bowl.
Place spinach in a colander and rinse under cold water. Heat a large skillet over medium heat. When hot, add handfuls of spinach (with water still clinging to it) to the pan and cook, stirring, until just wilted, 2 to 3 minutes. Drain the spinach and add to the medium bowl; toss to coat with the vinaigrette. Divide the spinach among 4 plates and top each portion with 3 scallops. Drizzle the scallops with the reserved vinaigrette.

Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Equipment: Four 10-inch metal or bamboo skewers
Note: Be sure to buy “dry” sea scallops (scallops that have not been treated with sodium tripolyphosphate, or STP). Scallops that have been treated with STP (“wet” scallops) have been subjected to a chemical bath and are not only mushy and less flavorful, but will not brown properly.

Nutrition
Per serving: 239 calories; 14 g fat (3 g sat, 8 g mono); 47 mg cholesterol; 6 g carbohydrates; 23 g protein; 2 g fiber; 620 mg sodium; 782 mg potassium.

Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin A (100% daily value), Magnesium (31% dv), Folate & Vitamin C (30% dv), Potassium (22% dv)

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Shrimp Saganaki

Shrimp top a delicious saute of fennel, scallions and feta in this version of saganaki. A saganaki is a shallow, two-handled skillet that is one of the most traditional cooking vessels in Greece. Saganaki is also the fried cheese, made in the pan, that is one of Greece's most famous appetizers.

4 servings
Active Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes

 Ingredients
12 jumbo shrimp, (6-8 per pound), peeled and deveined, tails left on (see Ingredient Note)
2 tablespoons lemon juice, divided
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1 medium bulb fennel, cored and finely chopped
5 scallions, thinly sliced
1 small chile pepper, such as jalapeño or serrano, seeded and minced
1/2 cup Chardonnay, preferably Greek
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese, preferably Greek
Freshly ground pepper, to taste

Preparation
Toss shrimp with 1 tablespoon lemon juice in a medium bowl and sprinkle with salt.
Heat oil in a large skillet (or “saganaki” pan) over medium heat. Add fennel, scallions and chile pepper and cook, stirring, until soft and beginning to brown, 3 to 5 minutes. Pour in wine. Cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Place the shrimp on top of the fennel mixture, cover and cook until the shrimp are pink and just cooked through, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove from the heat.
Transfer the shrimp to a plate. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon lemon juice, feta and pepper to the pan and stir until the cheese begins to melt, about 1 minute. Serve the shrimp atop the fennel mixture.

Tips & Notes
Ingredient note: Shrimp is usually sold by the number needed to make 1 pound. For example, “6-8 count” means there will be 6 to 8 shrimp in a pound. Shrimp that size are usually labeled “jumbo.” Prawns will also work well in this recipe.

Nutrition
Per serving: 239 calories; 9 g fat (4 g sat, 4 g mono); 227 mg cholesterol; 8 g carbohydrates; 26 g protein; 2 g fiber; 631 mg sodium; 540 mg potassium.

Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (30% daily value), Iron (25% dv), Calcium (20% dv), Potassium (15% dv).

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Impossibly Easy Banana Custard Pie

Prep Time:   15 mins
Total Time:  4 hrs
Makes:  8 servings

Peel open a new version of homemade banana pie. Warm caramel topping adds a special touch.
 
1  cup mashed ripe bananas (2 medium) 
2  teaspoons lemon juice 
1/2  cup Original Bisquick mix 
1/4  cup sugar 
1  tablespoon butter or margarine, softened 
1/2  teaspoon vanilla 
2  eggs 
1  can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk 
3/4  cup frozen (thawed) whipped topping 
1/4  cup coarsely chopped walnuts, if desired 
 Caramel topping, warmed, if desired 
  

Heat oven to 350ºF. Grease 9-inch glass pie plate with shortening or spray with cooking spray. In small bowl, mix bananas and lemon juice; set aside.
In medium bowl, stir remaining ingredients except whipped topping, walnuts and caramel topping until blended. Add banana mixture; stir until blended. Pour into pie plate.
Bake 40 to 45 minutes or until golden brown and knife inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely, about 1 hour. Cover and refrigerate about 2 hours or until chilled.
Spread pie with whipped topping; sprinkle with walnuts. Drizzle with caramel topping before serving. Store covered in refrigerator.

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Shrimp and Sweet Red Pepper Linguine

Prep Time:  15 min
Cook Time:  15 min
Yield:  4 servings

INGREDIENTS:

1/4 cup Crisco Pure Olive Oil
4 to 6 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 large red pepper, cut into strips
1/2 pound medium raw shrimp, peeled and de-veined
Salt and pepper, to taste
1/2 pound linguine, cooked and drained
Parmesan cheese, to taste
2 tablespoons chopped Italian parsley

PREPARATION DIRECTIONS:

1.HEAT oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add garlic. Cook and stir until golden. Add onion and peppers, cooking until tender.

2.ADD shrimp, salt and pepper. Cook shrimp until pink and tender. Serve over cooked linguine. Top with grated Parmesan cheese and parsley.

******************************

Don't Get Rid of Your Dog Because of This Stupid Article

There was an article in the January 24th edition of USA Today about The Danger of Dogs Sleeping in Bed.

Before you knew it, this story was being reported in news across the nation with the media playing to the terrible dangers of pets.

This story really upset me so I wanted to have a vet or two respond with an honest and irreverent opinion. So, once again I turned to the Irreverent Veterinarian for opinions on this topic.
 
To read the response from the Irreverent Vet, go to: http://www.petplace.com/irreverent-vet-speaks-out-on-the-danger-of-dogs-sleeping-in-bed

Was this article just irresponsible reporting or are there really significant dangers from letting pets sleep in your bed? Find out.  And PLEASE don't make any decisions about allowing your dog in bed or getting rid of your dog before reading this article.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tip for Green Beans for an Overweight Pooch   By: Bob Reid Erie, PA

During the winter months...especially in the NW corner of PA...dogs just don't get the exercise they need. Of course...neither do dog owners!!! When my 12-year-old keeshond begins to suffer from the mid-section bulge...I turn to cans of salt-free green beans. I will give her about 1/2 of the normal summer amount of a high quality weight control dry chow and a can of green beans as a chaser. She just loves them. I will also just give her a can in the evening if she needs to take the hunger pain edge off before going to bed. This replaces a dog treat that can be high in calories.

We now have a black beagle mix that...after her 1st winter with us...also began to suffer the bulge. She too enjoys the green bean diet right along with the kees.

Tip.... Salt-free cans can sometimes become quite expensive.

I will use regular cans but I am very careful to rinse the beans in cold water several times to remove as much salted juice as possible. ALSO...it is VERY important to be sure that the chow that you do give your pet is of high quality so that they continue to get necessary vitamins in the lesser amount.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TODAY'S PET TIP

How Often to Bathe a Dog
 
That all depends on your pet.

Factors include: his hair coat, hair length, how often he gets dirty, where he lives (if he is indoor or outdoors most of the time), shedding cycle, and any underlying skin problem (please see our related article, "Top Medical Reasons for Grooming Your Dog").
Some dogs need baths only a couple times year while others need weekly grooming. It is beneficial to brush your dog about twice a week. Bathing your dog every month or two isn't unreasonable, but some dogs will need more frequent cleanings.
A good rule of thumb is to bathe your pet only when his coat gets dirty or begins to smell "doggy."
 

*****************************

Grandma & Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting
their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in
his son's medicine cabinet, he asked
about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should 
take one Dad; they're very strong
and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10. a pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to
try one, and before we leave in the
morning, I'll put the money
under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found
$110 under the pillow. He called
Grandpa and said, "I told
you each pill was $10, not $110.

"I know," said Grandpa. "The
hundred is from Grandma.

********************************

BLUE BIRD OF HAPPINESS, MY ASS!   

It's Friggin' Freezing.  There's snow up to my ass, all the food's covered with

3 feet of this white shit and you want ME to sing?  

Like maybe Anne Murray's "Snowbird"?  Piss Off!! 

Next year, I'm going to fly to Jamaica and smoke dope for the season!!

******************************

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old,
but they know they are in love.
 
One day they decide that they want to get married,
so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
 
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says,

 

"Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
 
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing,Mr. Smith replies,
"Well Bruce, you are only 10..Where will you two live?"
 
Without even taking a moment to think about it,
Bruce replies,"In Jenny's room.
It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
 
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin,
"Okay, then how will you live?
You're not old enough to get a job.
You'll need to support Jenny."
 
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance,
Jenny makes five bucks a week
and I make 10 bucks a week.
That's about 60 bucks a month,so that should do us just fine."
 
Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.
 
"Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out.
I just have one more question.
What will you do if the two of you should have
little children of your own?"
 
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
 
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

**************************

Church was in full swing..... Pews were packed. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance,

trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.  Soon everyone had left the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew

without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
 

 

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
 
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
 
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
 
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
 
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
 
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."
 
*****************************

       >> A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
       >>
       >> The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on  the plane.
       >>
       >> The second man explained that he was from the  Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.
       >>
       >> 'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'
       >>
       >> The plane took  off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said, 'Watch this.'
       >>
       >> He told Sniffer to 'search'.
       >>
       >> Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very
       >> purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.
       >> Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm.
       >>
       >> The Policeman said,  'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
       >>
       >> 'Gee, that's  pretty good,' replied the first man.
       >>
       >> Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
       >>
       >> The Lab sniffed about, sat down  beside a man for a few seconds, returned  to its seat, and this time he  placed two paws on the agent's arm.  The Policeman said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'
       >>
       >> 'I like it!' said his seat mate.
       >>
       >> The  Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again.
       >>
       >> Sniffer walked up  and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded  to crap all over the place.
       >>
       >> The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the Policeman, 'What's going on  ?'
       >>
       >> The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.'
  
*****************************

The Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took of for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.  My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly. So I asked, " Why did you just do that?  This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck".

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.  They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.  As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.

Don't take it personally.  Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.  Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks takeover their day.  Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.  so. . . Love the people who treat you right.  Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

 

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits

REMINDERS FROM GOD:

"Cease trying to forgive those who wronged you. Aim to kill the self within, not until then will you find there is nothing that even remembers the injury."  -- GOD

Our Daily Devotional:

Blessings

1Thessalonians 5:16-18, NKJV: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

How has God blessed you? Can you think of a particular way, or perhaps even several ways that He has blessed you? Take a moment and give Him thanks for His blessings. Now then, have any of your blessings been times of darkness, pain, or struggle? Can you think of God?s blessings in times of sorrow and loss? It?s not something we often think of. Nevertheless, the idea is a simple one: if you are a child of God, you are always blessed. You are blessed in the good times, and blessed in the bad times. For as a child of God, there is nothing that comes into your life that God doesn?t permit. Everything you experience, every peak and every valley, are all allowed into your life for reasons that God alone may know. But know this, as God?s child, you are loved by God. Your Heavenly Father will do nothing to harm you, and in fact, will actively love you through every circumstance of your life. It may not seem easy to associate your darkest times as times of blessings, but try. You may discover anew a wonderful side of God that comes as you are able to give God thanks in everything, and trust Him in all things.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.

- Romans 1:16 

************************

WORD FOR THE DAY:

unctuous • UNK-chuh-wus  • adjective
1 a : fatty, oily
b : smooth and greasy in texture or appearance 2 : insincerely smooth in speech and manner

Examples:
Angela's date was an unctuous man who attempted, unsuccessfully, to pass himself off as a sensitive, artistic soul.

"Cucumbers by themselves are too watery and mild, and avocados by themselves are a little rich and unctuous, but together they make a soup that's fresh and bright, yet rich enough to be satisfying." -- From an article by John Broening in The Denver Post, August 25, 2010

***************************

You might be a REDNECK if... 
    ...your grandmother can properly execute the sleeper hold. 
 
You might be a REDNECK if... 
    ...there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard
 
THINGS TO PONDER:   Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
THING TO PONDER:     Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
  - George Burns

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
  - Oscar Wilde

I dote on his very absence.
  - William Shakespeare

Jim Carrey
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

Les Dawson
"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own."

Phyllis Diller
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
–Jack Handey 

******************************

Cowboy on his way to Heaven

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?'
St. Peter asked.
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in  South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.  So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.  I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the s - - t out of all of you!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.

******************************

How to Have a Happy, Healthy and Spiritually Fulfilled Old Age

Old age is not something society tends to view in a glowing and positive way most of the time; much of the advice concerning old age is about trying not to reach it and pretending that old age is something that won't ever catch up with us.

But old age is a time to be celebrated as much as any other time in the full cycle of life and it's a time when we can find deep self-fulfillment and happiness. For many people, it's the first time in their lives where they have the chance to fully live without being burdened by the expectations and ideas of others who have impacted them throughout life. Yet, it's crucial that you don't confuse self-realization with the mere acting out of external needs, for such needs are short-term and lack deep fulfillment. To be truly happy in the depths of your soul, inner happiness must be cultivated too and it is never too late to learn how.

Steps

1 Don't conform to age stereotypes. If you enjoy something, get out and do it. If health problems interfere, find ways to work around them and still get into the things that matter to you. Associate with groups of diverse people, not all in your age group. Don't think of your life as over, look at your future and plan for it actively. Socializing with young people who share your interests is a good way to keep in balance and avoid getting socially sidelined.

2. Practice the five principles of health. It might be tempting to say you've reached this point of life without worrying about your health habits but your best strategy for avoiding lengthy hospital stays, autonomy-sapping medical care, and bossy nursing home regimes is to look after yourself as much as possible. Treasure the health you have now and give it a boost by making sure that you stick the five basic principles of health:
Eat healthy. This includes eating raw vegetables and fruit every day.
Avoid or quit unhealthy substances and habits. If you haven't already done so, now is the ideal time to give up taking drugs, excess alcohol, smoking, and over-eating.
Stay active. There are plenty of sports ideal for the older body, and many of these can also involve being around other people (and beautiful scenery if you choose your exercising location well). Try sports like walking, jogging, swimming, yoga, and aqua aerobics to maintain an optimal fitness level.
Practice positive thinking.
Take up meditation. If you're not already meditating, this is the perfect time to start. It will settle your mind and any unrest like nothing else.

3 Aim to be active every day for at least half an hour or one hour. Go walking, jogging, swimming, cycling or do intensive yoga. Visit a health center or have an exercise bike in the comfort of your own place. It could be said that if you sweat once a day, the illness keeps away!

4 Cultivate happiness. In old age, inner happiness must be cultivated. Old age often brings energy loss, disease, a sense of meaninglessness, and worry about external problems over which you have no control. When the nerves are getting weaker, inner positivity is at great risk of declining. In old age, it's necessary to make an effort to cultivate happiness through everyday exercises that can maintain both physical health and strengthen your inner happiness. Make the choice to stay involved with your continued growth rather than giving in to socially condoned decline.

5 Read a spiritual book for one hour each day.There are many good books who can inspire you on your way of inner happiness, all you need to do is choose the ones that align with your own interpretation of spirituality. Reading is the best trainer for maintaining a positive mind and for answering many of your probing questions, and is also a perfect means for controlling your negative thoughts. Being exposed to spiritual writing and passages on a daily basis is uplifting and helps you to continue to hone your sense of purpose. Look for the positive sentences and learn them by heart, or at least say them over to yourself several times. And make a deal with yourself to start every day with a positive vision.

6 Practice yoga and meditation every day for one hour. Awaken your enlightenment energy through meditation. A calm mind is a positive mind, and using yoga and meditation to self calm whenever you feel doubt or unhappiness is an ideal practice. If yoga doesn't work for you, keep looking to find the spiritual exercise which is helpful for you. And be sure to practice daily: You can have every positive religion or philosophy you want, but you must practice it to get the bliss.

7 Have a hobby. Life has purpose when you make choices about the things you want to do and then do them. A hobby is an excellent way to remain fulfilled and interested in what is happening around you. Inevitably, a hobby will always provide a way to reach out to others who are interested in the same hobby as you, thereby increasing your fulfillment through interaction with other people. It doesn't matter what sort of hobby you have provided it is enjoyable, affordable, and is practiced with restraint.

8 Spend time with friends. You can find friends on the internet, in collaborative projects like wikiHow, in spiritual associations, in social organizations, and through volunteer work. It's a good idea to meet up regularly with one or more people so that you connect and feel part of a greater whole. Spend good times together and speak up if you're not enjoying what you're doing. The time for putting up with things is long gone.
If people pretend to be your friends and hurt you, wish them the best and part ways. There is a time and a place for trying to mend things with people but as you grow older, there is less time and a need for faster acceptance that some relationships are simply not meant to be. Don't sweat it; find the people who fill you with joy and happiness and spend more time with them

9 Love an animal. If you like pets, be sure to have one. The love, comfort, and connection with a pet is as important to you in old age as it was to you at any age. Animals don't judge us the way people too, and animals don't care what our age is provided we ensure they're well fed, groomed, and loved. Choose a pet that is easy to care for and can be handled by you without a worry.

10 Consider doing positive things for others. This can be a time of life where you're more than happy to give back to others, and you also have the free time to do so. Volunteering, teaching, or guiding can be good ways to pass on your experience, knowledge, and skills to others and in return, you continue to connect with people and to receive the joy of knowing that you are helping others to learn. A part of you will always live on in every person you help and teach, so do good and live in the energy of love.
In doing good for others, you become the mother or father of the world, not just of the children you have parented. This extended family is a privilege of old age, and as your wisdom is treasured by many others, your mind will change into love.

11 Learn to stop fearing dying. Your spiritual exercises are a very important means for helping you to break through the fears and worries that you may hold about death and letting go. Meditation and chanting mantras can also be a source of great comfort. Realize that after your death, you will earn the great benefit of your spiritual old age. You will move into a dimension of light, peace, and love. Even if you don't believe in a life after death, the comfort to be obtained from viewing death spiritually, as a cycle, and accepting it as what is meant to be, will be great.

12 Motivate yourself every day. In old age, thinking can easily become negative because ways are set and change becomes something to be loathed. Yet, giving up is worse than dying; never wanting to learn another thing, never wanting to change another thing allows decay to set in and your old age will lack harmony and purpose. While it's not easy to motivate yourself to exercise each day, to practice your spiritual reading and meditations, and to find the will to cook healthily, these are important sources of re-energizing yourself and of helping you to cope with the changes of life. To help you get motivated, find a helpful phrase that will energize you and cause you to react positively.
What is your helpful phrase? Every day, find a way to re-energize the power to live a positive life. Start the day with spiritual music, a word of a spiritual master or a spiritual exercise like yoga with positive thinking.
Aging is a continuous process which no one can stop. You have to enjoy your life fully regardless of your age.

  
 Tips

One day a yogi held a lecture about positive thinking in a senior center. Most of the older people were very negative. But two of them were happy and positive. He asked them for their secret. The positive old lady did three hours of spiritual exercises every day. She meditated, read in a spiritual book and walked for one hour. She said, that her spiritual exercises helped her stay positive to go through difficult times. The positive old man organized positive activities for his old fellow people. That made him feel positive. He lived as a karma-yogi and got therefore love, happiness and a deeper sense in his life. The simple moral of the story is that staying active and thinking about the many more possibilities life still has to share with you are great motivators in keeping positive.
Swami Sivananda[1] taught, "Sadhana is any spiritual practice that helps people to realize themselves. Sadhana is the highest wealth. It is the only thing that has lasting value."

 Warnings
Making a choice to "be old" is the most debilitating thing that you can do to yourself. Our body may age but our mind can continue to remain sharp and alert should we choose to care for it and believe in our own ability to stay fit, agile, and connected.

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Rigatoni with Sausage and Tomato Cream Sauce

Tubes of rigatoni hold the tomato sauce, giving you a burst of creamy flavor with every bite. Use either hot or mild Italian sausage here, depending on your preference.

Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 25 minutes

1 tablespoon olive oil 
1 1/2 pounds mild or hot Italian sausage, casings removed 
1 onion, chopped 
3 garlic cloves, minced 
1/3 cup dry white wine 
1 1/2 cups canned crushed tomatoes in thick puree, (from a 15-ounce can) 
1/2 teaspoon salt 
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper 
1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped 
1 cup light cream 
1 pound rigatoni 
Grated Parmesan cheese, for serving 

 
In a large frying pan, heat the oil over moderate heat. Add the sausage and cook, breaking up the meat with a fork, until it is no longer pink, about 5 minutes. With a slotted spoon, remove the sausage from the pan. Discard all but 1 tablespoon fat.

Reduce the heat to moderately low. Add the onion and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion is translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the wine and cook until it almost evaporates, about 5 minutes. Stir in the sausage, tomatoes, and salt. Simmer, covered, for 10 minutes. Add the pepper, parsley, and cream.

In a large pot of boiling, salted water, cook the rigatoni until just done, about 14 minutes. Drain the pasta and toss with the sauce. Serve with grated Parmesan.
 
*****************************

Porterhouse and Twice-Baked Potatoes for Two

If you are on the run, but want to make that romantic dinner, this is the easy way to do it. Add a salad or vegetable to round out this meal.

Serves: 2
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 14 to 17 minutes

INGREDIENTS:

1 approximately 1 pound, 1 inch thick beef porterhouse steak 
1 package (10 ounces) twice-baked potatoes, frozen 
1/2 teaspoon garlic salt 
1/4 teaspoon seasoned pepper 

DIRECTIONS:
 
Cook potatoes according to package directions; keep warm.

Meanwhile, combine garlic salt and seasoned pepper; press evenly into both sides of beef steak.

Heat large nonstick skillet over medium heat until hot. Place steak in skillet; cook 14 to 17 minutes for medium-rare to medium doneness, turning once.

Remove bone; carve beef crosswise into slices. Serve with potatoes.

*****************************

Boiled Lobster with Pepper Butter

Celebrate  with this dinner of boiled lobster with warm butter dipping sauce. You won't have to spend much time in the kitchen--this is one of the quickest of all our recipes to prepare.

Serves: 4
Prep. time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 25 minutes

INGREDIENTS:

4 lobsters, about 1 1/2 pounds each 
1/2 pound butter 
4 1/2 teaspoons lemon juice 
1/4 generous cup chopped fresh parsley 
1 teaspoon salt 
2 teaspoons fresh ground black pepper 

DIRECTIONS:
 
In a large pot of boiling, salted water, cook the lobsters, covered, until just done, about 10 minutes after the water returns to a boil. They are done when the shells turn red.

Meanwhile, in a medium stainless-steel saucepan, melt the butter. Remove the pan from the heat and add the lemon juice, parsley, salt, and pepper. Divide the butter among four small bowls. Serve the lobsters with the pepper butter for dipping.

 
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Campbell's Chicken Wellington

A variation of the classic beef Wellington, this stunning entrée stars boneless chicken breasts topped with a mushroom-onion mix and wrapped in convenient-to-use Pepperidge Farm Pastry Sheets.

Serves: 4
Prep. time: 25 minutes
Cooking time: 25

1/2 pkg. Pepperidge Farm Frozen Puff Pastry, (1 sheet) 
1 egg 
1 tbsp. water 
4 boneless chicken breast halves 
1/2 tsp. dried thyme leaves, crushed 
2 tbsp. butter or margarine 
3/4 cup sliced mushrooms 
1 medium onion, finely chopped 
1 tbsp. chopped fresh parsley 
1 pkg. (3 oz.) cream cheese, softened 
1 tbsp. Dijon mustard 

 
THAW pastry sheet at room temperature 30 min. Mix egg and water. Preheat oven to 400°F.

SPRINKLE chicken with thyme. Season with salt and pepper if desired. Melt 1 tbsp. butter in skillet. Add chicken and cook until browned. Remove chicken from skillet. Cover and refrigerate 15 min. or up to 24 hr.

ADD remaining butter to skillet. Add mushrooms and onion and cook until tender and liquid is evaporated. Stir in parsley.

MIX cream cheese and mustard. Unfold pastry on lightly floured surface. Roll into 14" square and cut into 4 (7") squares. Spoon about 1 tbsp. mushroom mixture on each square. Top with chicken. Spread 1 heaping tbsp. cream cheese mixture on chicken. Brush edges of squares with egg mixture. Fold each corner to center on top of chicken and seal edges. Place seam-side down on baking sheet. Brush with egg mixture.

BAKE 25 min. or until golden.

******************************

TODAY'S PET TIP

Choosing the Best Dog Gate
 
Gates can be essential to keep your puppy confined to an area while he is being housebroken and so you can supervise his every move in order to keep him safe.

Before buying your gate, consider where you want it, the width of the area you are tying to gate and the size of your dog. Is it a high traffic area that you will need to go through too? Consider this and read these tips to help you choose the best gate for your needs.

Desirable features in gates include a durable material, sturdy, easy to clean, safe, and easy to use. You also need to consider if you want a permanent style (such as that bolts into the wall) or a temporary style gate.

An idea choice is a good quality plastic and wood gates can be can both be safe and durable.
 
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The critic, in his review of the burlesque, wrote:

"The ladies of Prince Charming's household troops filled their parts to perfection."

The compositor, in his haste, read an n for the r in the word parts, and the sentence, thus changed, radically in its significance, duly appeared in the morning paper.

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TEACHER—"Now, Johnny, suppose I should borrow $100 from your father and should pay him $10 a month for ten months, how much would I then owe him?"

JOHNNY—"About $3 interest."

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It was said of a certain village "innocent" or fool in Scotland that if he were offered a silver sixpence or copper penny he would invariably choose the larger coin of smaller value. One day a stranger asked him:

"Why do you always take the penny? Don't you know the difference in value?

"Aye," answered the fool, "I ken the difference in value. But if I took the saxpence they would never try me again."

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Proctologist: A doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.

Proctologist: A brain surgeon for lawyers.

Proctologist: the rare profession in which the M.D. starts out at the bottom and stays there.

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Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.

The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled at the blonde, "what do you want?"

"I just want to know why you can't ring the bell for yourself?"

 

 

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits

REMINDERS FROM GOD:

The difficulties in life are caused by disharmony in the individual, not in My Kingdom, only something unconquered in My children." -- GOD

Our Daily Devotional:

Blessings

1Thessalonians 5:16-18, NKJV: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

How has God blessed you? Can you think of a particular way, or perhaps even several ways that He has blessed you? Take a moment and give Him thanks for His blessings. Now then, have any of your blessings been times of darkness, pain, or struggle? Can you think of God?s blessings in times of sorrow and loss? It?s not something we often think of. Nevertheless, the idea is a simple one: if you are a child of God, you are always blessed. You are blessed in the good times, and blessed in the bad times. For as a child of God, there is nothing that comes into your life that God doesn?t permit. Everything you experience, every peak and every valley, are all allowed into your life for reasons that God alone may know. But know this, as God?s child, you are loved by God. Your Heavenly Father will do nothing to harm you, and in fact, will actively love you through every circumstance of your life. It may not seem easy to associate your darkest times as times of blessings, but try. You may discover anew a wonderful side of God that comes as you are able to give God thanks in everything, and trust Him in all things.

 
And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.

- John 10:16 

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WORD FOR THE DAY:

vicissitude • vuh-SISS-uh-tood  • noun
1 : the quality or state of being changeable : mutability
2 a : an unexpected change or fluctuation b : a difficulty or hardship usually beyond one's control

Examples: A good investor cannot simply rely on the vicissitude of the market; one must also have patience and use strategy to invest wisely. "Ten years is a lifetime in the art world, where the vicissitudes of trends and tastes can befuddle the most experienced." -- From an article by Scarlet Cheng in the Los Angeles Times , January 9, 2011

Did you know? "Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better," wrote British theologian Richard Hooker in the 16th century. That observation may shed some light on "vicissitude," a word that can refer simply to the fact of change, or to an instance of it, but that often refers

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Quotes of the Day

I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
  - Babe Ruth

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
  - Bill Vaughan

Let's have some new cliches.
  - Samuel Goldwyn

"The young do not know enough to
be prudent, and therefore they attempt
the impossible -- and achieve it,
generation after generation."
- Pearl S. Buck

You might be a REDNECK if... 
    ...you have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper. 
 
THINGS TO PONDER:  What is the purpose of that little ball on top of the flagpole?

CONFUCIOUS QUOTE:  I will not be concerned at other men's not knowing me;I will be concerned at my own want of ability.

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Pork Chops with Mushroom Bread Pudding

Juices from the browned pork chops seep into the bread pudding, flavoring it as it bakes. We used one-inch-thick chops here. If yours are thicker, put them in the oven sooner rather than cooking the bread pudding longer, so the eggs don’t curdle.

INGREDIENTS:

2 tablespoons butter 
1 onion, chopped 
1 rib celery, chopped 
3/4 pound mushrooms, cut into thin slices 
1 teaspoon dried thyme 
1/2 pound baguette, or other crusty bread, cut into 1/2-inch cubes (about 1 quart) 
1 teaspoon salt 
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper 
1-1/3 cups canned low sodium chicken broth 
3 eggs, beaten to mix 
2/3 cup half-and-half 
1 tablespoon cooking oil 
4 center-cut pork chops, about 1-inch thick (about 2 pounds in all) 

DIRECTIONS:
 
Heat the oven to 325 degrees. Butter a 9-by-13-inch baking dish or a gratin dish of similar size. In a large nonstick frying pan, melt the butter over moderately low heat. Add the onion and celery; cook, stirring occasionally, until starting to soften, about 3 minutes. Increase the heat to moderately high. Add the mushrooms and thyme and cook until the mushrooms start to brown, about 5 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat. Stir in the bread cubes, 3/4 teaspoon of the salt, and 1/4 teaspoon of the pepper. Transfer the mixture to the prepared baking dish.

Stir together the broth, eggs, and half-and-half. Pour the mixture evenly over the mushrooms and bread. Put the dish in the lower third of the oven and bake for 25 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat the oil in the frying pan over moderate heat. Sprinkle the remaining 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper over the pork chops. Add the chops to the pan and brown, about 3 minutes per side. Remove the chops from the pan. Remove the bread pudding from the oven after it bakes for 25 minutes and set the pork chops directly on top. Return to the oven and cook until the meat is done and the pudding is just set, 10 to 15 minutes longer.

 

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Make-Ahead Pizza Meat Loaves

Here's a go-to recipe when you need to plan ahead to get dinner on the table really fast.  You can make the meat loaves up to 3 days in advance...when you're ready for dinner, just heat them in the skillet. Plus you've got the family favorite flavor combination of meat loaf and pizza...it's a winner.

Serves: 6
Prep. time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 40 mins.

1 jar (28 oz.) Prego Traditional Pasta Sauce or Roasted Garlic Parmesan Italian Sauce 
1 1/2 lb. ground beef 
1 1/2 cups Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Stuffing 
2 eggs, beaten 
1 medium onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup) 
1/4 cup chopped green pepper 
1 tsp. dried oregano leaves, crushed 
4 oz. mozzarella cheese, cut into 6 pieces 

Mix 3/4 cup of the sauce, beef, stuffing, eggs, onion, pepper and oregano thoroughly and shape firmly into 6 loaves, placing 1 piece of cheese in the center of each loaf. Place the loaves in a 13 x 9 x 2-inch baking pan.

Bake at 400°F. for 30 minutes or until the meat loaves are cooked through. Cool them slightly. Wrap them and refrigerate for up to 3 days. Cover and refrigerate the remaining pasta sauce.

Place the meat loaves and remaining pasta sauce in a 12-inch skillet. Cover and heat over medium heat, until they're heated through.

Tip: Meat loaves can be served immediately after baking. Heat the remaining pasta sauce and serve with the meat loaves.

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Red Velvet Cake

Prep time: 15 min
Cook time: 35 min
Yield:  12 servings

INGREDIENTS:
Crisco Flour No-Stick Spray
2/3 cup Crisco Butter Shortening
OR 2/3 stick Crisco Baking Sticks All-Vegetable Shortening
1 3/4 cups sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
2 tablespoons red food coloring
1 cup buttermilk
2 1/3 cups Pillsbury BEST All Purpose Flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

DIRECTIONS:

1.HEAT oven to 350°F. Spray two 9-inch round layer pans with flour no-stick cooking spray.

2.COMBINE shortening, sugar, eggs and vanilla in bowl of electric mixer; beat until light and fluffy. Combine cocoa and food coloring in 1-cup measure, stirring until smooth. Blend into shortening mixture.

3.ADD buttermilk, flour, baking soda and salt. Beat at low speed until blended, scraping bowl constantly. Beat at medium speed 2 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Pour into prepared pans.

4.BAKE 30 to 35 minutes, or until center springs back when touched lightly. Cool 5 minutes. Remove from pan. Cool completely. Frost with your favorite white frosting.

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Rocky Road Fudge (Gluten Free)
 
Prep Time 15 Minutes
Total Time 3:15 Hrs:Mins
Makes 64 squares
 
 Foolproof fudge is in the pan in 15 minutes! Betty Crocker frosting is the secret.
 
1  bag (12 oz) semisweet chocolate chips (2 cups) 
1  container Betty Crocker Rich & Creamy chocolate frosting 
1 1/2  tablespoons milk 
1  teaspoon vanilla 
1  cup miniature marshmallows 
1/2  cup chopped walnuts 

Line 8- or 9-inch square pan with foil so foil extends about 2 inches over sides of pan. Lightly spray foil with cooking spray.
In large microwavable bowl, microwave chocolate chips uncovered on High 1 minute. Stir until melted. If necessary, microwave 10 to 20 seconds longer or until chocolate can be stirred smooth.
Microwave frosting uncovered on High 20 seconds. Stir into melted chocolate chips. Add milk and vanilla; stir at least 20 strokes with spoon until smooth and creamy. Stir in marshmallows and walnuts. Spread in pan. Refrigerate about 3 hours or until firm.
Remove fudge from pan by lifting foil; remove foil. Cut 8 rows by 8 rows to make squares. Store tightly covered in refrigerator up to 2 weeks.

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Fettuccine Alfredo

2 servings, 1 1/2 cups each
Active Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 35 minutes

 Ingredients
3/4 cup vegetable broth, or reduced-sodium chicken broth (see Tips for Two)
4 large cloves garlic, peeled
4 ounces whole-wheat fettuccine
1 small zucchini, cut into matchsticks
2 teaspoons cornstarch, mixed with 1 tablespoon water
2 tablespoons reduced-fat sour cream
Pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, or to taste
3/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, divided
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley

Preparation
Bring a large saucepan of water to a boil. Combine broth and garlic cloves in a small saucepan; bring to a boil over high heat. Cover, reduce heat to a simmer and cook until the garlic cloves are soft, about 15 minutes.
After the garlic has simmered about 10 minutes, cook fettuccine in the boiling water, stirring often, for 8 minutes. Drop in zucchini and cook until the fettuccine is just tender, about 1 minute more.
Meanwhile, transfer the garlic and broth to a blender. Process until the mixture is smooth, about 1 minute. (Use caution when blending hot liquids; see Tip.) Return the mixture to the pot and bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Add cornstarch mixture; whisk it until slightly thickened, about 15 seconds. Remove from the heat and whisk in sour cream, nutmeg and pepper. Return the pot to very low heat to keep the sauce warm. (Do not boil.)
Drain the pasta and place in a large bowl. Add the sauce and 1/2 cup Parmesan; toss to coat well. Sprinkle with parsley and serve immediately, passing the remaining 1/4 cup Parmesan separately.

Tips & Notes
Tips for Two: Leftover canned broth keeps up to 5 days in the refrigerator or up to 3 months in your freezer. Leftover broth in aseptic packages keep for up to 1 week in the refrigerator. Add to soups, sauces, stews; use for cooking rice and grains; add a little when reheating leftovers to prevent them from drying out.
Pureeing hot liquids: Hot liquids can splatter out of a blender when it's turned on. To avoid this, remove the center piece of the lid. Loosely cover the hole with a folded kitchen towel and turn the blender on. Better airflow will keep the contents from spewing all over the kitchen—and yourself.

Nutrition
Per serving: 379 calories; 11 g fat (6 g sat, 3 g mono); 33 mg cholesterol; 52 g carbohydrates; 21 g protein; 8 g fiber; 628 mg sodium; 326 mg potassium.

Nutrition Bonus: Calcium (40% daily value), Vitamin C (25% dv), Vitamin A & Zinc (20% dv), Magnesium (18% dv).

 

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TODAY'S PET TIP

Feeding Thin or Underweight Dogs

Do you know how much should you feed an underweight or thin dog?
Here are some general rules:
Underweight dogs: Feed your dog 1-1/2 times the "usual" amount of food and make an appointment to see your veterinarian about your dog's body condition. Consider switching to a food with higher protein and fat content
Lean dogs: Many healthy dogs are a bit thin, especially active young male dogs. Consider increasing total daily food or caloric intake by 25 percent. Weigh your dog every week if possible to chart progress.

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50% of Dogs With This Disease Die - Be Prepared

I have to tell you about a life-threatening disease that I absolutely hate. It comes on very quickly - and to young healthy dogs. Many dogs get it and more than 50% of dogs that get it die. It is awful. No one knows exactly why it happens. I wish there was a cure but there is not.

The disease is called immune mediated hemolytic anemia and it is caused by some abnormality in the dog's immune system. The body's immune system normally helps keep us healthy by killing bad bacteria. But for some reason with this disease it suddenly identifies healthy red blood cells in the body as foreign "bad" cells - and it starts destroying them.

This disease is really awful. Over the course of sometimes hours, a dog can become weak and lethargic. Sometimes the dog will vomit. The gums become pale as the dog becomes anemic from losing the red blood cells in its body.

Treatment of this disease is difficult and expensive. You can give the dog blood transfusions but the body will often destroy the transfused cells too. Sometimes transfusions are necessary but they are not a cure.

The other treatment is drug therapy to suppress the immune system. Drugs will work for some dogs but not all. It is very frustrating.

I recently saw a buff-colored cocker spaniel named Buffy that came in with this disease. (It can occur in any breed but is more common in cocker spaniels.) I'm happy to say that she made it but Buffy was in the hospital for 6 ½ days - and her bill was almost $3,000.
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Garlic Shrimp in Tomato Sauce

This chunky tomato sauce tastes much like the familiar puttanesca sauce that is usually served on pasta.

Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 26 minutes

3 tablespoons olive oil 
2 pounds large shrimp, shelled 
4 garlic cloves, minced 
1 large pinch dried red pepper flakes 
1/4 teaspoon salt 
1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper 
2 medium tomatoes, (about 3/4 pound), peeled and chopped 
1 cup canned crushed tomatoes in thick puree 
1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary, or 1/4 teaspoon dried rosemary 
2 tablespoons drained capers 
1/3 cup halved pitted black olives 

In a large nonstick frying pan, heat the oil over moderate heat. Add the shrimp, garlic, red-pepper flakes, salt, and black pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until the shrimp are just done, about 5 minutes. Remove the shrimp with a slotted spoon.

Add the fresh tomatoes, canned tomatoes, rosemary, capers, and olives to the pan. Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for 15 minutes. Stir in the shrimp and simmer until just heated through, about 1 minute.

Variation

Substitute four boneless, skinless chicken breasts for the shrimp. Make the sauce separately by sautéing the garlic for a minute, adding the red-pepper flakes, salt, and black pepper, and then proceeding with Step 2. In a medium frying pan, heat just one tablespoon of oil over moderate heat. Season the chicken breasts with a quarter teaspoon salt and an eighth teaspoon pepper and put them in the pan. Cook the chicken until brown, about five minutes. Turn and cook until almost done, about three minutes longer. Cover the pan, remove from the heat, and let steam five minutes. Top the chicken with the sauce.
 
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Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.
 
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
 
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
 
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing,Mr. Smith replies,  "Well Bruce, you are only 10..Where will you two live?"
 
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies,"In Jenny's room.  It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
 
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin,  "Okay, then how will you live?  You're not old enough to get a job.
You'll need to support Jenny."
 
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week.
That's about 60 bucks a month,so that should do us just fine."
 
Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.  "Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out.
I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"
 
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
 
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

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"Good Heavens, man! I saw your obituary in this morning's paper!"

"Yes, I know. I put it in myself. My opera is to be produced to-night, and I want good notices from the critics."—C. Hilton Turvey.

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In China when the subscriber rings up exchange the operator may be expected to ask: "What number does the honorable son of the moon and stars desire?"

"Hohi, two-three."

Silence. Then the exchange resumes.

"Will the honorable person graciously forgive the inadequacy of the insignificant service and permit this humbled slave of the wire to inform him that the never-to-be-sufficiently censured line is busy?"

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We had been trying for a child for years, so I was ecstatic when I got up at five one morning, took a home pregnancy test and found I was expecting.

"Richard," I yelled to my husband, "we're going to have a baby!"

"Great," he said and rolled over.

"How can you go back to sleep?"

Muttering into his pillow, he said, "I'm stocking up."

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A distinguished librarian is a good follower of Chesterton. He says: "To my way of thinking, a great librarian must have a clear head, a strong hand and, above all, a great heart. Such shall be greatest among librarians; and when I look into the future, I am inclined to think that most of the men who will achieve this greatness will be women."

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This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside.
"Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed.
A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons...
Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea."

 

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits

REMINDERS FROM GOD:

  "To use Me in your life is to bring into manifestation Peace, Joy and Happiness."   -- GOD

Our Daily Devotional:

Blessings

1Thessalonians 5:16-18, NKJV: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

How has God blessed you? Can you think of a particular way, or perhaps even several ways that He has blessed you? Take a moment and give Him thanks for His blessings. Now then, have any of your blessings been times of darkness, pain, or struggle? Can you think of God?s blessings in times of sorrow and loss? It?s not something we often think of. Nevertheless, the idea is a simple one: if you are a child of God, you are always blessed. You are blessed in the good times, and blessed in the bad times. For as a child of God, there is nothing that comes into your life that God doesn?t permit. Everything you experience, every peak and every valley, are all allowed into your life for reasons that God alone may know. But know this, as God?s child, you are loved by God. Your Heavenly Father will do nothing to harm you, and in fact, will actively love you through every circumstance of your life. It may not seem easy to associate your darkest times as times of blessings, but try. You may discover anew a wonderful side of God that comes as you are able to give God thanks in everything, and trust Him in all things.

Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

- John 3:5 

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WORD FOR THE DAY:

torpedo • tor-PEE-doh  • noun
1 a : a weapon for destroying ships by rupturing their hulls below the waterline: as b : a submarine mine c : a thin cylindrical self-propelled underwater projectile 2 : a large sandwich on a long split roll with any of a variety of fillings : submarine

Examples:
Among the undersea wreckage, the divers found an unexploded torpedo.

"The threat of 'massive surprise bombardment,' as the white paper puts it, is one reason why South Korean forces have held back on striking targets inside North Korea in reprisals for surprise attacks such as that on Yeonpyeong Island and also on the navy corvette the Cheonan, sunk by a torpedo fired by a midget submarine in March with a loss of 46 lives." -- From an article by Donald Kirk in The Christian Science Monitor, December 30, 2010

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You might be a REDNECK if... 
    ...you believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law
 
THINGS TO PONDER:  If the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, what is the speed of dark?

CONFUCIOUS QUOTE:  Heaven means to be one with God.

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
  - Dave Barry

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.
  - Ellen DeGeneres

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
  - Brendan Behan

"Nothing in the world can take the
place of persistence...Persistence and
determination alone are omnipotent."
- Calvin Coolidge

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How to Turn Your Finicky Dog into a Good Eater

Some dogs will eat anything, like our favorite "test dog" Sweet Lips. Literally. She is actually hard to test treats on because she is ...well how do I say it... she is not very discriminating.  If she is out in a farmer's field - she will eat cow manure. Like I said, she does not have a discriminating palate.

While some dogs will eat anything, other dogs are extremely picky. You sometimes think that the moons have to align themselves right for them to show any interest in their food. It can be very frustrating.

What can you do?  Here are a few tips for dealing with a finicky dog:

Make sure your dog is OK . If your dog has developed the habit of being picky about what he eats, the first step to the solution is to take your pooch to the veterinarian for a check-up. This is especially important to do if the finicky eating developed suddenly, if it is accompanied by vomiting and/or diarrhea, if your dog is showing other signs of illness, or if the finicky eating is associated with weight loss. Visiting the vet will help you rule out any underlying medical conditions, such as gastrointestinal or oral disease that may be causing the finicky eating.?

Check the food. If your dog receives a clean bill of health, the next step is to evaluate the food you feed. Make sure it has not spoiled. Both dry and moist foods can expire, and it is also possible to buy a bad batch of food. Check the expiration date and take note of any odd odors in the food.?

Feed a good food . You should be feeding a high-quality nutritious diet approved by your veterinarian. A quality brand of food will supply your dog with all the nutrients he needs, eliminating the need for diet variety.

Consistently feed one type of food. Constantly changing foods may cause your dog to "hold out" for something tastier, creating a finicky eater. Change can also cause vomiting and diarrhea in some dogs. Feeding human food snacks can have the same affect and can also lead to obesity.?

Tips for getting your dog to eat:

If you have been feeding your dog the same food for an extended period of time, he has always been finicky about eating it and you feel that he is unhappy with the taste, then you could gradually switch to a new quality food. To do this, mix the old food in with small amounts of the new food, then slowly increase the new food and decrease the old. This will prevent gastrointestinal upset. Make the change over at least 2 to 3 days.

When changing foods, pick a new flavor or texture that may better suit your dog's desires. For example, you may want to try feeding a semi-moist food instead of dry, or you may choose lamb and rice rather than beef and rice. If you are selecting a softer food, keep in mind that these foods can cause more tartar build-up on your dog's teeth, and they are generally more expensive. Adding small amounts of a moist food to your dog's dry food may be a better alternative.?

Heating the food is another trick that can help finicky dogs to eat. This helps to release the aromas that are appealing to your dog. You might try microwaving your dog's moist food, or adding hot water to the dry food. Stir the mixture around before giving it to your dog to make sure there are no "hot spots" created by the microwave warming.?

Mixing something extra into the food can also be helpful - break up a dog biscuit, add a little meat-flavored baby food or sprinkle in a small amount of shredded cheese. This will make the food more appealing. To make it more difficult for your pooch to pick out the goodies, mix the special additives throughout the food. Be careful with this option. Too much of that "something extra" can lead to obesity. Also, don't spoil him so much that he becomes more finicky, as explained above

If your dog is a real go-getter that doesn't slow down long enough to eat, you might want to make him work for his food. Filling a treat-dispensing toy  with his meals may prove more interesting to your active canine.?

One more thing - unlike humans, dogs do not need variety in their meals because they have all the nutrients they need in their dog food.??

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The Charlie Schulz Philosophy
>
> ......Scroll thru slowly and read carefully to receive and enjoy full effect
>
>>
> The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.
>
>
> You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.
>
> Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.
>
>
> 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
>
> 2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
>
> 3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
>
> 4 Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
>
> 5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
>
> 6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
>
>>
> How did you do?
>
> The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
>
> These are no second-rate achievers.
>
> They are the best in their fields.
>
> But the applause dies..
>
> Awards tarnish..
>
> Achievements are forgotten.
>
> Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
>
>
>>
>
> Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
>
>
> 1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
>
> 2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
>
> 3 Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
>
> 4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
>
> 5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
>
>
>>
>
> Easier?
>
>
> The lesson:
>
> The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the
> most credentials, the most money...or the most awards.
>
> They simply are the ones who care the most.
>
>
> >
>
> Pass this on to those people who have either made a difference in your life,
> or whom you keep close in your heart, like I did.
>
> 'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow Somewhere else in the world'.
>> ''Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!"

***********************

Shrimp-Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms

 yield: Makes 4 (appetizer) servings

Small portobello mushooms are sometimes labeled portobellini or baby portobellos. Pair this dish with a salad and white wine for a light lunch or supper.
 

Ingredients
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
3 large garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary
6 ounces cooked bay shrimp
2/3 cup fresh breadcrumbs made from crustless French bread
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup mayonnaise
8 2- to 2 1/2-inch portobello mushrooms, dark gills removed

 

PreparationHeat oil in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, basil, garlic, and rosemary. Sauté until onion softens, about 5 minutes. Transfer to medium bowl; mix in shrimp, breadcrumbs, cheese, and mayonnaise. Season filling to taste with salt and pepper. Arrange mushrooms, rounded side down, on oiled baking sheet. Mound shrimp filling in mushrooms, pressing filling to compact slightly. (Can be made 6 hours ahead. Cover and refrigerate.)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Bake mushrooms until tender and filling begins to brown, about 35 minutes. Serve hot.

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Portobello Mushroom Recipes

A collection of our favorite portobello mushroom recipes including several grilled portobello recipes, portobello 'pizza', portobello stuffed with crab and many other delicious recipes.
Visit our online recipe library at MushroomLovers.com for more recipes.

               
            Fresh Portobello Mushrooms

Grilled Portobellos with Olive Oil & Garlic

4 Portobellos
Olive Oil
Coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 garlic cloves, minced
Chopped fresh parsley
Preheat the broiler or start your grill.

Wipe mushrooms clean and remove stems. Drizzle all over with olive oil and season with salt and pepper.
Broil or grill about 4 inches from flame, gill side up, 2 minutes. Turn over, sprinkle tops with garlic and a bit more oil, and cook 1 to 2 minutes longer, being careful not to burn the garlic. Sprinkle with parsley and serve.

 

Grilled Portobellos

4 Portobello Mushrooms 1/4 t salt
2 T butter 1/8 t black pepper
2 t minced garlic 1 T chopped fresh basil
2 T balsamic vinegar

Preheat outdoor gill or boiler. Separate mushroom caps from stems, set caps aside. Coarsely chop stems (to measure 1 cup). In a medium saucepan melt butter, add chopped stems and garlic; cook, stirring frequently, until stems are tender, 5 to 6 minutes. Stir in vinegar, salt and black pepper; remove from heat. Transfer to the bowl of a food processor; process until finely chopped; set aside. Place Portobellos rounded side up on grill or rack in broiler pan. Grill or broil 4 inches from heat until mushrooms are hot, 2 to 3 minutes. Turn spread each mushrooms with 1/4 chopped mushroom stem mixture; cook until mushrooms are tender, 4 to 5 minutes longer. Serve on toasted rolls with sliced tomato and arugula or watercress if desired.

 

Sautéed Portobello Mushroom Teriyaki

1 - 6 oz. package Oakshire Sliced Portobellos
2 T Olive Oil
Garlic Powder to taste

Sauté sliced Portobellos in olive oil until tender. Add teriyaki sauce and garlic powder to taste. Serve as side dish or appetizer.

 

Marinated Grilled Portobellos Recipes

4 Portobello Caps
Olive Oil
1/4 Cup Soy Sauce
Garlic Powder to taste

Separate mushroom caps from stems and wash. Coat caps with Olive Oil and place in 9 x 13 pan. Mix together Soy Sauce and Garlic Powder. Pour over caps and let sit 2 to 4 hours. Preheat grill or broiler. Grill 4 inches from flame, 4 minutes on each side. Serve as Main Course or Appetizer.

(You can take the marinade while the Portobellos are grilling and cook to boil in sauté' pan add 1 T flour , reduce heat and cook till thick, pour over Portobellos.)

 

Marinated Portobellos

4 Oakshire Portobello Caps
1/2 bottle any good Italian Dressing

Marinate Portobellos 2 to 4 hours. Preheat grill or broiler. Grill 4 inches from flame, 4 minutes per side.

 

Balsamic Marinated Portobellos

4 Oakshire Portobello Caps
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 T Olive Oil
1 clove of garlic minced
1/2 onion chopped
1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped

Wash mushrooms and remove stems. Place in 9 x 13 pan. Mix balsamic vinegar, garlic, onion, basil and olive oil together. Pour over Portobellos; let sit 2 to 4 hours. Grill.

Mushroom Stroganoff

1 lb. Oakshire Sliced Portobellos
1/2 lb. Sage Sausage*
1/4 cup chopped onion
1 clove chopped garlic
1/2 cup milk
1 T Flour
1 lb. Egg Noodles - Cooked

Sauté onion, garlic and sausage till sausage is brown, add Oakshire Sliced Portobellos and cook until Portobellos are cooked through – 10 minutes. If needed add more water to Portobellos and sausage.
Mix milk and flour together. Bring pan to boil, add milk and flour mixture to pan to make thicker gravy.
Serve over Egg Noodles.
*Sausage option, if you do not use sausage you can substitute beans or vegetable protein.

Oakshire Portobello Pizza

 Oakshire Portobello Mushroom caps, cleaned and stems removed 
 Extra virgin olive oil 
 Tomato sauce, homemade or good quality purchased 
 Grated cheeses: fresh mozzarella, provolone, parmesan, locatelli, cheddar, etc. 
 Freshly chopped herbs 

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Rub the portobello with extra virgin olive oil and place gill side up on the baking sheet. Bake for 7 minutes to soften. Remove from the oven and let cool. Pour off any juices.

Top each roasted portobello with some tomato sauce and then grated cheese. Return to oven and bake until the sauce is bubbly and the cheese is melted. Sprinkle with freshly chopped herbs and serve immediately.

 

Crimini Mushrooms and Wilted Spinach Salad

 6 cups trimmed spinach leaves 
 1 cup sliced yellow bell pepper 
 1 cup cherry tomato halves 
 1 pound fresh Oakshire Crimini Mushrooms, sliced 
 1/2 cup bottled Italian dressing 
 1/2 cup sliced green onions (scallions) 

In a large salad bowl, place spinach, bell pepper and tomatoes. Heat a large non-stick skillet and add Oakshire Crimini Mushrooms; cook stirring occasionally, until tender about 5 minutes. Stir in salad dressing and green onions, remove from heat. Pour over spinach; toss gently.

 

Spinach Stuffed Portobello

 6 - Oakshire Portobello caps 
 1 pack of chopped spinach - frozen or fresh 
 6 oz. cream cheese 
 1/3 cup romano cheese 
 1 Egg 
 1 clove garlic chopped 
 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil 
 Salt & Pepper to taste 

Sauté spinach in olive oil with garlic till water is absorbed. Mix with cream cheese, romano and egg. Let mixture cool. Brush Portobello caps with olive oil and grill 4 minutes on each side. Fill with spinach mixture. Put in baking dish and bake 20 minutes at 350.

 

Mushroom and Sausage Casserole

 1 - 4 oz. pack of Oakshire Specialty Blend Mushrooms (a blend of shiitake, oyster and crimini mushrooms) 
 1 Lb. Sage Sausage 
 1/4 chopped onion 
 1/2 Lb. Egg Noodles 
 1/2 cp. milk with 1 Tablespoon Flour (Mixed together) 
 Salt and Pepper to taste 

Rinse mushrooms and remove any stems from oysters. Sauté sausage till brown then add Oakshire Specialty Blend and cook for 5 minutes. Add Egg Noodles and 1 cup water. Cook till egg noodles are done, you may need to add more water. When egg noodles are done add in milk mixture and stir till gravy has thickened. Serves 4-6

 

Oakshire Breakfast Portobello

 8 Oakshire Portobello caps, cleaned, stems removed 
 Extra virgin olive oil 
 1/2 cup sliced shallots 
 4 oz fresh shiitake, stems removed 
 1/2 cup toasted chopped walnuts 
 1/4 lb. thinly sliced prosciutto, shredded 
 2 1/2 cups very coarse fresh bread crumbs 
 1/4 cup chopped flat parsley 
 chicken stock 
 freshly ground salt & pepper to taste 
 8 eggs 
 4 T heavy cream 

Preheat the oven to 400. Place the portobello caps, gill side up, on a baking sheet and bake for 5 minutes.

In a large, non-reactive skillet, heat enough olive oil to coat the pan over high heat. When hot, add the chopped portobello stems, shallots and shiitake and cook until the vegetables are tender. Add the prosciutto and cook until lightly browned. Stir in the walnuts and enough of the bread crumbs to stuff the Portobellos you have chosen.

Remove the Portobellos from the oven and pour off any juices into the stuffing mixture. Stir in chopped parsley and enough stock to make the stuffing moist.

Divide the stuffing mixture amount the Portobellos caps, smoothing the surface and make a well in each. Break on egg into the well of each portobello. Sprinkle lightly with salt and pepper and drizzle 1/2 tablespoon of the cream over each egg. Return the Portobellos to the oven and bake until the eggs are done. Make sure the whites are set and yolks slightly runny. Serve immediately.

 

Crab Imperial Stuffed Portobello

 6 large Oakshire Portobello mushrooms, cleaned, stems removed 
 1# jumbo lump crab, picked over to remove any shells 
 1 T. butter 
 1 T. finely chopped red bell pepper 
 1 T. finely chopped green bell pepper 
 1 T. finely chopped orange or yellow bell pepper 
 2 T. finely chopped shallots 
 1 T. butter 
 5 T. Flour 
 4 T. Butter 
 1 cup evaporated skimmed milk 
 1 egg, beaten 
 1/2 tsp. dry mustard 
 2 tsp. Worcestershire 
 1/2 cup mayonnaise 
 freshly ground salt and pepper 
 dash of paprika, fresh chopped parsley and chives 

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Arrange the Portobellos on an oiled oven proof baking dish. Squeeze the lemon juice over the crab and toss very gently.

In a small skillet, melt the butter and cook the peppers and shallots until tender. Remove from the heat and set aside.

In a heavy bottomed saucepan, melt the butter and stir in the flour. Cook for 3 to 4 minutes but do not allow the to brown. Whisk in the milk and cook until thickened. Stir a little of the sauce into the egg, taking care not to scramble it, then stir the egg into the sauce. Stir in the dry mustard, Worcestershire and mayonnaise. Season with salt and pepper. Stir in the sautéed vegetables, and fold in the crab, do not break up the lumps.

Spoon the crab mixture into the Portobellos. Bake in the preheated oven for 30-35 minutes. Sprinkle lightly with paprika and freshly chopped parsley and chives.

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If you are 50, or older, you might think this is hilarious!
+++
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their stories about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning....Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of 55, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
+++
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to whip our butts! Nowhere was safe!
4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and ruined the whole song! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY Goodness!!! Think of the horror...not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent...you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little yard-apes, I mean couch potatoes!
12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that! (no micro-waves to kill ya slow like either)
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play...all day long. (Thus the nick-name, yard-apes) Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside...you were doing chores, not sitting on the couch watching t.v.

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
+++
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1960's or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 50 Crowd!

 

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits

REMINDERS FROM GOD:

1 Corinthians 2:9
“However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him—”

Unrelenting Love and Commitment

"There is none righteous, no, not one.  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."1

"On Thursday, March 16, 2001, Kenneth Water, 46 years old, saw a cell phone for the first time, drank his first cup of Starbucks coffee, and ate his first corned beef sandwich in two decades. Waters had just emerged from 18 years in prison for a crime he did not commit. His murder conviction had been vacated by newly tested DNA evidence."2

And how was it that Waters was freed? It was because of his sister, Betty's unrelenting efforts. From the very beginning she was convinced that Kenneth was not guilty of murder. At the time she was a young mother of two children. She hadn't finished high school, so she went back to school, finished her high school education, went on to college, and then to law school and ultimately became her brother's attorney. She "waged an extraordinary legal battle that led to Kenneth's release." Through the checking of DNA it was proven that Kenneth Water was not guilty of the murder of Katharina Brow.

"Betty Anne's commitment to proving her brother's innocence is astonishing. By the time she walked out of the courthouse on March 16, 2001, she had spent 18 years in unbroken service to him. What commitment!"2

What an amazing expression this was of Betty's love for her brother. It is also a graphic reminder of God's total commitment to you and me—not because of our innocence, because we are all guilty before God in that every one of us has broken at least one or more of God's commandments, and have fallen far short of God's requirement for holiness.

As God's Words reminds us, "There is none righteous, no, not one.  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."1But because of God's infinite love for us, he gave his Son, Jesus Christ, to die in our place to pay the penalty for all your sins and mine, so we could be fully forgiven and receive God's gift of eternal life.

Psalm 86:5
“You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.”

***********************

WORD FOR THE DAY:

hoodlum • HOOD-lum  • noun
1 : thug; especially : a violent criminal 2 : a young ruffian

Examples:
The shaken man tried his best to give the police an accurate physical description of the hoodlum who mugged him in the parking lot.

"In the good old days, the bowling alley was a place for teenage punks to gather outside, smoke and fight…. These days, the bowling alley is a smoke-free family place, and instead of hoodlums in leather jackets you'll find groups such as the Koffee Kup bowling league…." -- From an article by Roy Bragg in The San Antonio Express-News, December 20, 2010

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TODAY'S PET TIP

Why Dogs Shed and What You Can Do to Stop It

Dog lovers commonly ask (as they pick some hair off their clothing), "Why do dogs shed? Is there a shedding season?"

I'll answer those questions now.

Shedding is a continuous process. This is a normal event in the life of a dog and it is largely influenced by daylight.

There is a word for this phenomenon: photoperiod. The number of hours a dog is exposed to sunlight in a day (photoperiod) triggers the shedding process.

It is more noticeable in outdoor dogs in the spring and fall. Indoor dogs shed more consistently but in lesser amounts because of the artificial light inside the house.

Dogs tend to have heavier coats in the winter months than they do in the summer.

Stress and illness can cause excessive shedding. A chronically ill dog that is shedding may also suffer skin lesions, as well as scaling and thin and abnormally wrinkled skin.

What can you do about shedding? Providing your dog is just a normal shedding dog, here are some tips:

1. The first thing you can do to reduce the amount of hair in your home is to brush or comb your dog on a daily basis. This will help more than anything to reduce shedding. You are basically controlling the shedding.

2. Feed your dog a good quality dog food. Don't skimp. Stick with one of the premium brands.

3. Make sure your dog gets plenty of exercise. Healthy bodies promote a healthy haircoat.

4. Don't let your dog get fat. Keep your dog at an ideal weight. Obese dogs have difficulty grooming.

Dogs shed. Nothing will change that. But regular grooming will make the biggest difference. Brushing helps.

Adequate grooming, proper diet and exercise all contribute to a shiny, healthy-looking coat and a happy dog. If your dog appears to be losing a large amount of hair and/or if the coat is dull and dry, see your veterinarian.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yard safety Tip
 
There are several possible hazards in your yard that can cause injury or create problems for your dog.

Some of the possible hazards include:

Sharp nails or wires on fencing

Loose fence boards or areas where pets can sneak out, around or under

Trash tossed or blown into the yard that may be chewed on or ingested

Improperly stored toxins such as rodenticide, slug bait, fertilizer or antifreeze

 
*************************************

Caught napping at work, school, or church...try this one.
Guaranteed to work!

Just pick your head up real fast and say:

"...in JESUS' name...AMEN!"
(he-he...how can they yell at you for this :)

ADDENDUM: For some reason, it won't work in a Synagogue?

*************************************

My husband is a workaholic, so we hardly see each other. Just to spend some time with him, I climbed onto the roof one day while he was putting up shingles. But after a while, I'd had enough. "We don't do anything fun," I said. "We never go out like other couples." "What do you mean?" said my husband. Putting down his hammer, he gazed into my eyes and, with as much romance as he could muster, said, "So who did I ask to go to the dump with me this morning?"

********************************

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them.
"What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus.
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"

*********************************

Welfare Cheque

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
 
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare.  I'd really rather have a job."
 
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent.  We just got a job  opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.  You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.
 
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.  You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.  This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex  drive."
 
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
 
The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

***************************

A blonde orders a beer.

 

The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them... The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.

Each time the guy calls for another beer this happens. So after his third beer, he decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts and she decks him!

He is laying on the floor moaning, 'Jeez lady...

Why do you let the bartender do it?'

'Duh,' says the blonde,

'He has a licker license!'

*****************************

I drove my daughter to a weekend boot camp for teenagers sponsored by the Army. When we arrived, we didn't know whom to talk to. We asked a guy at the front desk, who nodded vaguely toward one of the officers standing behind him. Seeing my confusion, he added, "You can't miss him?'s wearing camouflage."

********************

"What did you do when you met the train-robber face to face?"

"I explained that I had been interviewed by the ticket-seller, the luggage-carriers, the dining-car waiters, and the sleeping-car porters and borrowed a dollar from him."

***********************

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

–Jack Handey 

Albert Einstein
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Bill Vaughan
"Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem."

Charles Pierce
"If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?"

****************************

Cheesy Chicken & Rice Casserole

This one-dish wonder features moist, tender chicken breasts covered with melted Cheddar cheese, sitting on a bed of creamy rice and vegetables - it just doesn't get any better!

Serves: 4
Prep. time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 50 minutes (stand time 10 minutes)
 
INGREDIENTS:

1 can Campbell's Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular, 98% Fat Free or Healthy Request®) 
1 1/3 cups water 
3/4 cup uncooked regular long-grain white rice 
1/2 - tsp. onion powder 
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper 
2 cups frozen mixed vegetables 
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (about 1 pound) 
1/2 - cup shredded Cheddar cheese 

DIRECTIONS:
Heat the oven to 375°F.  Stir the soup, water, rice, onion powder, black pepper and vegetables in a 2-quart shallow baking dish.
Top with the chicken. Cover the baking dish.
Bake for 50 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through and the rice is tender. Top with the cheese. Let the casserole stand for 10 minutes. Stir the rice before serving.
Serving Suggestion: Serve with a Caesar salad. For dessert serve frozen Italian-style water ice or gelati.

TIPS:
Alfredo: Substitute broccoli flowerets for the vegetables and substitute 1/4 cup grated Parmesan for the Cheddar cheese. Add 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese with the soup. Sprinkle the chicken with the remaining Parmesan cheese.
Lower Fat: Use Campbell's 98% Fat Free Cream of Chicken Soup instead of regular soup and use low fat cheese instead of regular cheese.
Mexican: In place of the onion powder and black pepper use 1 teaspoon chili powder. Substitute Mexican cheese blend for the Cheddar.
Italian: In place of the onion powder and black pepper use 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning, crushed. Substitute 1/3 cup shredded Parmesan for the Cheddar.

*****************

Salami and Brie Panini

 Prep: 15 min
Start to Finish: 20 min
 
Ingredients
1    Granny Smith apple
1  loaf  or 4 rolls ciabatta
4  oz  Brie, sliced
12  (4 to 5 oz)  thin slices hard salami
1/2  tbsp  olive oil

Directions
1.Heat a grill pan on the stove or a grill press. Slice apple into thin rounds and place on grill until just soft, 2 to 3 min.

2.Cut bread into 4 pieces; slice pieces or rolls in half lengthwise. Divide Brie among sandwiches. Top with salami, apples and remaining bread.

3.Brush sandwiches with olive oil and grill until cheese is melted and bread is just crisp, about 7 min; serve hot. Makes 4 paninis.

Nutrition Facts
Calories475, Total Fat (g)21.5, Saturated Fat (g)9.5, Cholesterol (mg)59, Sodium (mg)1306, Carbohydrate (g)48, Fiber (g)3, Protein (g)22, Vitamin A (DV%)0, Vitamin C (DV%)0, Calcium (DV%)0, Iron (DV%)0, Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet

********************

Grilled Chicken and Gouda Melt

Prep: 15 min
Start to Finish: 20 min
 
Ingredients
4  small (4 to 5 oz each)  boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1  tbsp  Dijon mustard
1-1/2  tbsp  red wine vinegar
1/2  cup  apricot preserves
4  slices  crusty whole-grain bread or raisin-nut bread
6  oz  gouda, sliced
4  cups (3 oz)  arugula
1/2    red onion, thinly sliced

Directions
1. Season chicken with salt, pepper and olive oil; grill until completely cooked, 4 to 6 min.

2. Heat oven to 375 degrees F. Stir together mustard, vinegar and preserves; season with salt and pepper; set aside. Toast bread in toaster or oven. On a baking sheet, arrange cheese on toast and place one piece of chicken on top. Cook in oven until cheese begins to melt, about 4 min.

3. Combine arugula and onion and toss with some of the dressing. Place sandwiches on plates, top with salad and drizzle generously with dressing. Makes 4 melts.

Nutrition Facts
Calories495, Total Fat (g)14.5, Saturated Fat (g)8, Cholesterol (mg)114, Sodium (mg)641, Carbohydrate (g)46, Fiber (g)5, Protein (g)43, Vitamin A (DV%)0, Vitamin C (DV%)0, Calcium (DV%)0, Iron (DV%)0, Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet

********************

Jambalaya

Prep: 45 min
Start to Finish: 1 hr 25 min
 
Ingredients
2  tbsp  olive oil
12  oz  boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into 1-1/2-inch pieces
1/2  lb  cooked ham, cubed
1/2  lb  kielbasa, cut into 1-inch pieces
1  medium  red onion, cut into thin wedges
2    celery stalks, finely diced
3    garlic cloves, minced
1  cup  converted rice
1  can (28 oz)  diced tomatoes
1  cup  low-sodium chicken broth
1    green bell pepper, diced
2 to 3  tsp  Cajun seasoning
2    bay leaves
1  lb  large shrimp, peeled and deveined
1/2  cup  chopped flat-leaf parsley
6    scallions, finely chopped

Directions
1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F. In a 4- to 5-quart Dutch oven, heat 1 tbsp oil over medium-high heat. Add chicken and cook, turning, about 4 min; transfer to a plate. Add ham and sausage; cook until lightly browned, about 3 min. Transfer to plate with chicken. Add remaining 1 tbsp oil to Dutch oven. Add onion, celery and garlic; cook until just softened, about 4 min. Stir in rice, tomatoes, broth, bell pepper, Cajun seasoning, bay leaves and meats and bring to boil.

2. Cover and bake until liquid is absorbed and rice is nearly tender, about 35 min. Add shrimp, pushing into the mixture, then cover and bake, stirring once, until shrimp is opaque, 5 to 10 min. Discard bay leaves. Sprinkle with parsley and scallions. Serves 6.

Nutrition Facts
Calories495, Total Fat (g)20, Saturated Fat (g)5.5, Cholesterol (mg)185, Sodium (mg)1194, Carbohydrate (g)39, Fiber (g)2, Protein (g)38, Vitamin A (DV%)0, Vitamin C (DV%)0, Calcium (DV%)0, Iron (DV%)0, Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet

****************

After treading rather heavily on her foot, the man in the street car made humble apology to the woman. She listened in grim silence, and, when he had made an end, spoke very much to the point:

"That's it! Walk all over a body's feet, an' then blat about how sorry you be. Well, I jest want you to understand that if I wasn't a puffick lady, I'd slap your dirty face!"

****************

I was waiting on some customers at the shoe store where I work when I was interrupted by a very determined woman. Pointing to a sneaker made by Reebok, she asked, "Do you have this in a Nike?"

*****************

Betty: "Mummy, does God send us our food?"

Mother: "Yes, dear; of course He does."

Betty: "But what a price!"

**************************

The secretary came in late for work for the third day in a row.

The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. Who told you you could come and go as you please around here?"

Sharon simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said,
"My lawyer."

****************

DEAF  WIFE....."priceless "

A man   feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss  the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could  perform to give the  doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until   you get a
response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the  den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response..

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife  and repeats, "Honey,   what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey,   what's for dinner?"

Again no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.. "Honey, what's  for   dinner?"

 Again there is no response.

 So he walks right up behind her... "Honey,   what's for dinner?"

(I just love this)

Wife -
"Ralph,   for THE FIFTH time,  it's CHICKEN!" 
 

*******************************

Senior citizens center

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center.

Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I
intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful
antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very
special watch. It's been in my family for six generations"

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. .. .

"The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light
gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the
swaying watch, until, suddenly, the chain broke, it slipped from the
hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred
pieces.

"SHIT!" said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center.
Claude was never invited back.
 
********************************

 

Better than a Flu Shot!  

  Miss Beatrice,

The church organist,

Was in her eighties

And had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness

And kindnessto all

.

One afternoon the

pastor

Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,

The young minister noticed a   cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned

With tea and scones,

They began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity

About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said,

'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'

Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?

I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'  

 *******************************

Spread the laughter
Share the cheer
Let's be happy while we
are here!

 
 

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits

REMINDERS FROM GOD:

"Are you ready to live apart with Me? In the world, yet apart with Me. Going forth with Me to rescue and save."  -- GOD

 

Our Daily Devotional:

 

Unto Completion

 

Philippians 1:6, NIV: "...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

 

There is an end product God has in mind when He looks at us. And it may look nothing like what we think it should. It certainly looks nothing like anything we force ourselves to be. God´s will for us is that we be where we are, and allow Him to take us where we are going. Paul said, "I have learned the secret of being content" (Phil.4:12). We are to rest at ease in the process. Otherwise we become anxious, and in so doing, hurry the process. The Bible tells us we are to be anxious for nothing (Phil.4:6). This includes our Christian walk. It is to be shaped, not forced. It is a daily process, not a finished product. It is God´s will for us that we be content with who we are today, and realize that God is making us for tomorrow.

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  - Isaiah 53:4  Howard LaFranchi in The Christian Science Monitor, December 20, 2010

*******************

WORD FOR THE DAY:

adversary • AD-ver-sair-ee  • noun
: one that contends with, opposes, or resists : enemy

Examples:
Susan dreaded meeting her adversary at the negotiating table again, because she had come out on the losing side every time so far.

"New START is not explicitly about improving relations with a former cold-war adversary, but rather reducing stockpiles of dangerous weapons, some of which could be at risk of falling into terrorists' hands." -- From an article by Howard LaFranchi in The Christian Science Monitor, December 20, 2010

********************

You might be a REDNECK if... 
    ...you're dating your Cousin
 
THINGS TO PONDER:       How does Kraft get the 5 ounces into every slice of American Singles? 

CONFUCIOUS QUOTE:    Speak the truth, do not yield to anger; give, if thou art asked for little; by these three steps thou wilt go near the gods.

In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you.
  - Frank Wilczek

When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
  - C. P. Snow

War is not nice.
  - Barbara Bush

"The greater danger for most of us is not
that our aim is too high and we miss it,
but that it is too low and we reach it."
- Michelangelo

Bob Dole
"The internet is a great way to get on the net."

Conan O'Brien
"If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice."

Tracey Ullman
"As I get older, I just prefer to knit."

*************************

My wife was in her gynecologist's busy waiting room when a cell phone rang. A woman answered it, and for the next few minutes, she explained to her caller in intimate detail her symptoms and what she suspected might be wrong. Suddenly the conversation shifted, and the woman said, "Him? That's over." Then she added, "Can we talk about this later? It's rather personal, and I'm in a room full of people."

***************************

PET TIPS:

Dogs often get lacerations and skin wounds. It's very common. In fact, lacerations are one of the most common dog emergencies treated at veterinary clinics.

What should you do if your dog is bleeding? Do you know the right way to control it?

Step 1: Don't panic. The more excited you are, the more excited your dog will become, which can raise his blood pressure and actually cause the bleeding to get worse.

Step 2:  Find out where the bleeding is coming from. If possible, find a clean towel and apply gentle pressure to the area. Be careful that your pet does not bite you, as this could be painful. (He may not mean to bite but instincts rule.)

Step 3:  Call your vet or your local emergency clinic.

Lacerations are a very common pet emergency and the most common cause of bleeding. The treatment is generally sedation, clip and clean the wound, repair the wound (sutures or staples are often used), and fight infection. Antibiotics are generally prescribed for a full week. This will vary, depending on the size, depth and location of the wound, as well as any secondary medical problems and the disposition of the dog.  The cost for this type of wound repair can be a little as $150.00, or it could cost hundreds of dollars.

I treated a dog (Buchy) that came in with a very large wound over his side. Buchy's owner had NO idea how the injury happened. They assumed that he got caught on a nail or fence (although they knew of no sharp bits around). Anyway, Buchy's bill came to $438.50.

If this type of unexpected emergency medical cost would be difficult for you to handle, consider pet insurance. It can help with the bills in cases like this, and it allows you to do the best thing for  your dog in the case of an emergency.

I hope that this information will help keep your dog safe. And always check your yard for sharp nails or wires.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TODAY'S PET TIP

Choosing a Veterinarian
 
How do you choose a veterinarian? What do you look for in a veterinarian or what questions do you ask?
You can find a veterinarian by looking in the yellow pages, searching the internet or by word-of mouth.
An effective method is by asking your friends or neighbors which veterinarian they go to and for their recommendations.
 
*******************

 SPANAKOPITA

Recipe for Traditional Greek Spinach and Feta Cheese Pie

2 lbs. fresh spinach leaves
1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley
1/2 cup chopped fresh dill
2 cups finely chopped green onions
1 1/2 tsp. fine Traditional Portuguese Sea Salt
1/4 cup Organic Extra-virgin Olive Oil
3 cups chopped onion
1/4 tsp. coarse ground black pepper
1/2 lb. feta cheese, crumbled (traditionally made from sheeps milk, feta cheese from goat milk is also good)
14 filo leaves (usually sold frozen, thaw thoroughly!)
3/4 cup clarified butter (ghee), melted.

DIRECTIONS:

 1) Wash and clean the spinach. Discard the stems. Drain & cut the leaves into shreds.

2) Combine the spinach, parsley, dill, green onions and grey sea salt in a bowl. Let stand for 15 minutes, then press out all of the liquid.

3) Heat the extra virgin olive oil in a skillet and saute the 3 cups of chopped onions until soft and transparent. Add the spinach mixture from step 2 and saute for a few more minutes. Add the feta cheese and black pepper.

4) Place each of 7 filo leaves in a buttered 10" x 17" x 2" baking pan, bruhing each leaf with melted clarified butter. Add the spinach mixture from step 3, spread into a thick layer then add remaining filo leaves, again brushing each leaf with melted clarified butter. Cut into 3"x 3" pieces with a sharp knife.

5) Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

 
 *****************************

Wilted Spinach with Apples and Feta Cheese

8 cups torn spinach
1/4 cup sliced green onions
4 slices bacon
4 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoons granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
1 cup sliced or chopped apple
1/3 cup crumbled feta cheese
2 hard-cooked eggs

In a large bowl combine the spinach and green onions; set aside.
In a large skillet cook the bacon over medium heat until crisp. Remove the bacon, reserving 2 tablespoons of the drippings in skillet. Drain bacon on paper towels; crumble and set aside.
Carefully stir vinegar, sugar, and mustard into reserved drippings; bring just to boiling. Add apple and cheese. Toss lightly and transfer to a serving bowl.
Remove the yolk from the hard-cooked egg; press yolk through a sieve. Chop the egg white. Sprinkle salad with egg yolk and white and bacon. Serve immediately.
Makes 4 to 6 servings servings.

***********************

Spinach Casserole

This easy spinach casserole is topped with shredded cheese.

Total Time: 25 minutes

Ingredients:
2 packages (10 ounces each) frozen chopped spinach (or about 3 cups cooked and drained)
2 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled
1 can or jar (about 4 ounces) sliced mushrooms, drained
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
1 cup (8 ounces) sour cream
1/2 cup shredded sharp Cheddar cheese

Preparation:

Cook spinach following package directions; drain. Combine spinach, crumbled bacon, mushrooms, oregano, and sour cream. Spoon spinach casserole mixture into a greased 1 1/2-quart casserole. Bake spinach casserole at 325° for about 20 minutes; sprinkle with shredded cheese and return spinach casserole to oven for 5 minutes longer, or until cheese is melted.
Spinach casserole serves 6.

****************************

Salmon Croquettes

"Salmon croquettes are delicious and easy to fix. Great for a quick dinner and even cold on salad the next day!"

Prep Time:10 Min
Cook Time:10 Min
Ready In:20 Min

 Yield 4 servings 

Ingredients
2 (6 ounce) cans salmon, drained and flaked
2 egg
1/2 cup finely chopped celery
1/2 cup sliced green onion
2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill weed
1 teaspoon garlic powder
2/3 cup wheat germ (flour - corn meal etc)
1/4 cup and 2 tablespoons olive oil

Directions

In a medium bowl, mix together the salmon, egg, celery, green onion, dill, and garlic powder. Form the mixture into golf ball sized balls, and roll in wheat germ to coat.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Flatten the balls slightly, and fry for about 10 minutes, turning as needed, until golden brown.

Nutritional Information
Amount Per Serving  Calories: 435 | Total Fat: 30.9g | Cholesterol: 143mg Powered by ESHA Nutrient Database

***************************

TESTICLES AND SNORING

                                                  
A couple has a dog that snores. 

Annoyed because she can't sleep, 

the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.

The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, 

and he will stop snoring.
'Yeah right!' she says.

   The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.   

 
Muttering to herself,

she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon 

and ties it carefully around the
dog's testicles .
Sure enough, the dog stops snoring.  

 

The woman is amazed.
Later that night, 

her husband returns home drunk 

from being out drinking with his buddies. 

He climbs into bed,
falls asleep and immediately begins snoring loudly. 

The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on him.

So, she goes to the closet again, 

grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles.  

Amazingly, it also works on him!
The woman sleeps soundly. 

 

The husband wakes from his drunken stupor 

and stumbles into the bathroom. 

 
As he stands in front of the toilet, 

he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates.
He is very confused, 

 
and as he walks back into the bedroom, 

he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. 

 
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, 

'I don't know where we were or what we did, 
 

but, by God we took FIRST and SECOND place!

 
 ****************************

Welfare Cheque

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
 
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare.  I'd really rather have a job."
 
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent.  We just got a job  opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.  You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.
 
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.  You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.  This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex  drive."
 
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
 
The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

************************

They walk amongst  us!

(Equally worrying – in this first tale 2% of the audience got the answer wrong . . . . .!!!)
 
 
NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans  brought humiliation to her friends and  family
when she set a new standard for  stupidity with her appearance
on the popular  TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire.'
 
Evans, a  32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first  question
and proceeded to make what fans of  the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst  use
of lifelines ever.' After being  introduced to the show's host
Meredith  Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100  question.
 
The question was:  'Which of the following is the  largest?'
 
A) A  Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The  Moon
D)  A  Car

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with  an all! consuming panic as she did  not
readily know the answer . 'Hmm, oh boy,  that's a toughie,' said Evans,
as Vieira did  her level best to hide her disbelief.
'I  mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things  before,
but I have no idea how large they  would be.'
 
Evans made the  decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the  50/50.
Answers A and D were removed,  leaving her to decide which was
bigger, an  elephant or the moon. However, faced with an  incredibly
easy question, Evans still  remained unsure.
 
'Oh! It  removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed  Evans...
'Darn. I think I better phone a  friend.'
Mrs. Evans asked to be connected  with her friend
Betsy, who is an office  assistant.
 
'Hi Betsy! How  are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said  Evans,
wasting! the first seven seconds of  her call.
'Ok, I got an important question.  Which of the following is the largest?
B, an  elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds  hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer  was C, the moon.
Evans proceeded to argue  with her friend for the remaining ten  seconds.
'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans.  'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be  it.'
 
To everyone's  astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her  friend's
advice. 'I just don't know if I can  trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
So I  think I'd like to ask the audience,' said  Evans.
 
Asked to vote on the  correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor  of
answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all  her lifelines,
Evans then made the dumbest  choice of her life.  
'Wow, seems like everybody is  against what I'm thinking,' said  the
too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know,  sometimes you just got to go with
your gut.  So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an  elephant. Final  answer.'
 
Evans sat before  the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated  breath -
and was told that she was wrong,  and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The  Moon.'
 Caution...they walk  among us!

----------------------------

Some guy  bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old  fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
sign on it  saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take  it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone  looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too  mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign t! o read:  'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone  stole it!

They walk amongst  us!
-------------------------------------
I stopped at Mc  Donalds and ordered some fries.
The girl behind  the counter said would you like some fries with  that?
 
 
One day I was walking down  the beach with
some friends when someone shouted....
'Look  at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and  said...'where?'

They walk among us!

-------------------! ---------------------------------------

While looking at a  house, my brother asked the
estate agent which direction was  north because
he didn't want the sun waking him up every  morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My  brother explained that the sun rises in the east
and has for  sometime She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up  with all that stuff......'

They Walk Among  Us!
--------------------------------------------

My colleague and I  were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an  admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend  drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but  said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned!
because the car  was moving'.

They Walk Among   ;Us!
------------------------------------

My sister has a  lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a  seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car  trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

-------------------------------------------------
I was going out with a  friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring  by a chain.
My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip
out  every time she turns her head!"
I had to explain that a  person's nose ! and ear
remain the same distance apart  no
matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk  Among Us !
-------------------------------
I couldn't find my  luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage  office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told  me not to worry
because she was a trained professional  and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your  plane arrived yet?'.....
(I work with professionals like  this.)

They Walk Among  Us!
------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza  parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He  appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it  cutinto 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some  time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm  hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among  Us!
And last, but not  least:
 
  Dumb as a box of  Rocks
A VERY GOOD  EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN  CONGRESS, TRUE STORY:

A noted  psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function  where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi  took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and &nbs! p;asked him a question with which he was most at  ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked,  'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears  completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied.  'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with  no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the  track..'

'What sort of question?' asked  Pelosi.

Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made  three trips around the world and died during one of them.  Which one?''

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said  with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another  example would you? I must confess I don't know much about  history.'
 

Sadly, not only do they walk  among us, they Vote and their vote equals  ours and they also  reproduce!

No wonder we need Immigrants.

 
 
 
 

 

 

 
 

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits

REMINDERS FROM GOD:

"Wonders are unfolding beyond your dreams and hopes. To everything say "All is well"." -- GOD

Our Daily Devotional:

Choose You This Day

Matthew 16:2-3, NIV: "When evening comes, you say, ´It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,´ and in the morning, ´Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.´ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times."

We are surrounded by signs of the times. Yet, many of us neglect to heed those signs or even to notice them. It is as though we have fallen asleep, and are pleasantly dreaming, and refuse to wake up. Pursuit of personal happiness has trumped the pursuit of truth, and the pursuit of He who is the Truth. You have to wonder where we will all be when the storm that is evident in the signs, finally lands on our shores. Some may ask, "What storm?" and "What signs?" Some may be as the religious leaders of Jesus´ day who demanded a sign from God. But it is sinful to require God show us a sign fitting to our understanding, when He has already provided signs for any who will open his or her eyes to notice. So why do we refuse to open our eyes? Are we so accustomed to the darkness of worldly pursuits that it hurts to let a little Light in? The signs are there my friends. We can wake up, take notice, and submit to God´s instruction; or we can face the storm unprepared. The choice is ours.

Matthew 22:37-39
“Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

*************************

WORD FOR THE DAY:

apposite • AP-uh-zit  • adjective
: highly pertinent or appropriate : apt

Examples:
Before sending the final draft of his novel to his editor, Lyle searched for an apposite quotation that could serve as the book’s epigraph.

"The Venetian merchants who travelled to other lands or cities were especially useful; it is apposite, too, that in a mercantile state, the language of merchants was used as a code." -- From Peter Ackroyd's 2010 book Venice: Pure City

*********************************

You might be a REDNECK if... 
    ...you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips
 
THING TO PONDER:  Why does glass eventually get thicker towards the bottom?

CONFUCIOUS QUOTE:  The book salesman should be honored because he brings to our attention, as a rule, the very books we need most and neglect most.

A chess genius is a human being who focuses vast, little-understood mental gifts and labors on an ultimately trivial human enterprise.
  - George Steiner

The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.
  - Herbert Agar

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
  - Robert McCloskey

"You can't cross a sea by merely staring into the water."
- Rabindranath Tagore

*********************************

Winter Pruning Guide for Trees and Shrubs
Source: The Pruning Book, by Lee Reich

   Late winter is a good time for pruning some trees and shrubs. Pruning deciduous plants in the winter promotes fast regrowth in the spring, as most plants are dormant during the winter. It's also easier to see the shape of deciduous plants in the winter, since their foliage is gone.

Prune on a mild, dry day. When pruning, first prune out dead and diseased branches. Then remove the overgrown and smaller branches to increase light and air at the crown of the tree. In general, your goal is to keep the branches that develop or maintain the structure of the tree. Cut branches at the node, the point at which one branch or twig attaches to another.

  WHEN HOW

Abelia Autumn to early spring Maintain a graceful arching form by cutting away some of the oldest stems at ground level. Pinch growing shoots in spring if you want bushier growth.

Azalea Late winter or during the growing season Before growth begins for the season, improve the form of the bush by shortening stems that jut out of place. During the growing season, pinch growing shoot tips where you want bushier growth.

Butterfly bush Late winter Cut all stems to the ground.

Chaste tree Late winter or early spring Evergreen species need little pruning beyond cutting out weak, twiggy, dead, or broken branches.

Crape myrtle Late winter Wherever the plant is not totally winter-hardy, cut off winter-killed wood or cut the whole plant to the ground. Little pruning is needed where this plant is cold-hardy.

Hydrangea Mostly late winter For smooth hydrangea, cut all stems to the ground. For bigleaf or oakleaf hydrangea, cut stems with old flowers still attached back to fat flower buds.

Smoke bush Late winter or early spring, before growth begins Needs little pruning unless you grow it for its purple leaves rather than for its flowers. In this case, prune severely to stimulate vigorous new growth each spring.
************************************

How to Make a Meditation Garden

Article 
 The aim of a meditation garden is to provide a place for retreat and to create a place where everything is soothing and peaceful, a great place to get away to unwind after the daily stresses of life. And if that appeals to you, the great thing is that you don't even have to know anything about meditation to create a meditation garden, as it evokes the very essence of calmness on its own and all you'll need to do is be in it to feel relaxed and at peace. Here are some suggestions to get your meditation garden started.

 Steps
1  If sunflowers feature in your idea of a restful garden, add them.Imagine what a restful garden would look like to you. Think about what you love about being in the garden in terms of relaxing and offloading your stress. Take those memories and feelings and translate them into practical ideas of how you would like to see a personal garden aimed totally at relaxation and peace. If any ideas occur, (for example, a blue and yellow theme would be attractive to you, or a wooden park bench), incorporate those things into your imagined garden. If you are going to share this garden with family or others, get their ideas and input too. And always remember that this is your garden; it's your intent that counts when creating a meditation garden. There is no right or wrong way to make a meditation garden; the whole goal is to make a garden that both calms and inspires you and when you open your eyes, inspires you even more.

Try to see this garden as an "outdoor room".[1] It's a place where you'll go to relax, rest, and recline, so it will need to have features in it that you find comfortable, comforting, and secure from prying eyes.
It's best to start your imagination with conditions like "it has to fit in my budget" so you know not to go wild in pursuing expensive, and therefore unobtainable, dreams.
Look through garden books with pictures of other people's gardens. What elements in those gardens appeal to you as peaceful and serene ideas that you could incorporate into your own space?

2  Bamboo hedges are very tranquilDo the basic groundwork first. There are some basics that you'll need to consider initially in order to make the most of the garden space you have available and to stay within budget and the realms of what can actually be achieved. For example:
Size of the garden: Work out how large your garden is so that you can work according to its size. And, unless you live alone, your garden will be used by other people, so it's a good idea to also plan how you will divide your meditation or serenity garden from the regular hustle bustle of the rest of the garden. Think about how you will make obvious divisions using such items as potted plants in rows, hedgerows, large palms, benches, fencing, and so forth.[2]
Sound levels in the garden: Consider how silent it is already or whether you might need to create buffers using fences, hedges, embankments, or other sound-muffling structures. Your garden doesn't have to be large, but if you are in a reliably quiet neighbourhood you probably have a natural advantage. Sound can be an annoying hindrance or an object of focus for meditation.
Terrain: Is the garden sloped, hilly, flat, grassy, solely soil, etc. All of these will create particular needs and issues of their own that you'll need to work with to create a sense of peace and comfort.
Views: What views exist in your garden that you might wish to make use of as a feature point and find ways to "frame". The view might be the horizon, or a lovely group of trees, or anything else that inspires you. If you have none of these, consider a green bamboo hedge (clumping forms) to hide a lack of view, or the mundane everyday things like the compost bin, neighbour's wall or an ugly fence.

3 Look at examples of gardens in different parts of the world for inspiration. You might find really good inspiration in traditional gardens from other parts of the world. While there is no need to follow a theme, having one can instill a sense of calmness through orderliness and focus. There are several ways to find out what types of gardens are grown elsewhere: borrow library books showing the gardens in pictures, look online for images, visit open gardens that feature specific garden examples, or visit your local Botanical Gardens or specialized public gardens for inspiration. Think about the elements in these gardens that inspire feelings of peace and happy solitude in you. Some gardens to consider include:
A Japanese garden – this could incorporate sand or fine gravel patterns, Zen elements, cherry blossom, the Japanese maple tree, and geometric simplicity.
A Chinese garden – this could incorporate a fish pond, overhanging trees, little bridges, tiny pagodas, natural stone sculptures (ie: non-carved stone) and pathways.
A southwestern USA desert garden – this could incorporate simplicity, cactii, water-hardy plants(great for a garden in an area low in water), and a shady tree.
A traditional English garden – think about a walled garden in a university town like Oxford, Cambridge, or Durham as an example.
An Australian native garden – this could include gum trees, Australian natives (look for the fragrant plants to awaken your senses), and lots of shaded areas to cut out the heat of the sun. Eucalyptus trees are great for listening to the sound of the breeze as well as for their scent.
A North American garden – this could be filled with carved wooden items; maple, fir, birch, and oak trees; lots of deciduous colors in the fall; plenty of plants and feeders for the birds to feed on, and so forth.
Other minimalist type garden plans including "Middle Eastern" or "Islamic" gardens and many other different variations are ideal formats.

4  Start planning
Start a plan. Incorporate all the pluses of your existing garden (for example, you might already have a pleasant quiet area or a fish pond that you can work around), and begin planning for the desired features that you haven't yet got. On a large piece of paper, draw an outline of how you perceive your garden, including the features you intend to add. This plan can be updated and changed as you proceed, but it's a good idea to begin with a basic idea to work from.
Keep the plan in a folder or binder. This way, you can also slip in magazine cuttings, photos, and pamphlets for ideas, products, and services that you'd like to incorporate into your meditation garden over time.

5  Pavilions don't have to look like pagodas – they can blend in to suit whatever you have.Use structures and tree lines as sanctuary creators. Throughout history, people have used small garden buildings such as summerhouses, loggia, pergolas, and tree-lined areas and entrances to create little havens of peace or to calm the eye when viewed. In adding such structures (both living and inanimate), you create beauty and functionality at once:
Plant a "grove" area. This is basically a small secluded little patch of trees lined up either at the end of a lawn, down a pathway, or in some other formation that works well within the garden space. A grove is a lovely place to relax in or to view, and can often avert the eyes from any major distractions like the house, your neighbour's sunbathing, or any messy areas, etc.
Vine arbors and pergolas are a cross between the garden space and indoor space. They can provide shelter from sun, wind, and rain, as well as adding incredible depth and beauty to a garden space.
Consider a courtyard. This semi-enclosed environment might be ideal for marking out your sanctuary with clarity and for creating barriers against external movement and sounds. Courtyards allow you to consider a rooftop garden, a laneway garden, and even a garden squashed into a small space between walls as other options for placing your meditation garden.
Add a summerhouse, loggia, or an enclosed pavilion. Places that provide shelter from the sun and the rain are ideal additions to a meditation garden; if it's too noisy, hot, wet, or cold in your garden, consider building a little enclosed pavilion. If you have an existing summer house take advantage of using what's already there. The beauty of having a pavilion or summer house type structure is that you can fill it with soft furnishings such as a mat, cushions, pillows, etc., to make it a comfortable sanctuary for lying and resting in, no matter what the time of year may be.

6  Chamomile lawn is amazing underfootThink about the surfaces. If you're going to be relaxing in this garden, the surface upon which you walk, sit, lie down, and relax matters a great deal. Surfaces that are too hot, cold, or hard will spoil the experience, so plan this part with great care. Some surfaces to consider include:
Soft, grassy surfaces – this could be created by lawn, native grasses, chamomile, button grass, etc.
Bricks – lovely old bricks make a wonderful sun-warm surface. Over time bricks attract moss, lichen, etc. That may or may not be to your liking but it does add character and it creates a sense of oneness with nature.
Pavers – these can be hit and miss if chosen poorly. Older, handmade ones are probably lovely. Concrete-cast ones in bland colors can be a terrible choice if they look cheap and feel nasty. Be very careful with choosing pavers; they can look fantastic if you create patterns with them and weave them in among other surfaces and not just rely on them alone.
Mosaics – if you have the time and money for mosaics, these can be used to make a small (or large!) part of the meditation garden. Choose designs that are meaningful to you.
Other possible surfaces include pebbles, wood, slate, gravel (very fine), sand, patterned paving.
Complexity is best used according to the character of the person. Too much can be distracting to some, too little can be uninspiring to others. A highly complex image can be an object of focus, functioning much like a mandala.

7  Ordinary things can be very zen. Often the most simple images can show that change affects us all.Invest in objects that will increase the sense of serenity in the garden. There are numerous garden-friendly items that will help to really create the "meditation" or peaceful feel of your garden. Ideal additions include:
Sculpture – look for local artists whose work pleases you; this is a great way to support local artists as well as gaining something unique and special for your garden; you might even consider commissioning something with special meaning for you, such as an animal totem, or a memorial to someone beloved.
Water features – water is calming and relaxing, both when it is settled and when it is moving. You might consider water bowls, fish ponds, a fountain, a trickling water feature, or other items that use or display water.
Rocks – rockeries, rock sculptures, Inukshuks, and other uses of rocks can help add to the solidity and steadiness of your peaceful garden zone.
Small plinths or altars – these can be ideal places for you to place a candle, a vase of flowers, make a small shrine, or leave incense, candles or other spiritual offerings if that is your wish. Who you offer them to isn't really the matter at hand, it is the intention behind it that counts, but it's still best to pick one that inspires calmness in you.
Statues – there are many possibilities with statues; simply choose those that instill a sense of peace in you. Buddha images or statues and small pagodas are good ideas, but only if they work for you.
Specific empty spaces. These are little areas which are surprisingly restful as these are places which don't need anything to fill them.

8  Texture and shape are important elementsChoose plants that inspire you. English cottage garden type plants are just as valid as minimalist gardens which have very few, if any, plants. The plants you choose can be scented, flowering, herbal, tropical, native or even desert style. The most important thing is that the plants should evoke calmness in you; so, if they are "fussy" plants that need a lot of effort, you might like to leave them out of your meditation garden or you'll feel compelled to weed and tidy instead of meditating and resting!
Use your five senses to work out which plants will be most pleasing to you in the meditation garden. For instance, if you're a person who loves to touch things, look for plants with lovely texture, such as the velvety lamb's ears. If you're someone who loves visual stimulation, you might adore brightly coloured flowers. Or, if you're someone who loves fragrances, choose a range of scented plants that bloom at different times of the year, to ensure that they will waft a beautiful fragrance through the garden during all seasons. Some of the night-flowering plants are gorgeously scented, and create a heavenly feeling on moonlit or starry nights.
Plant forms can inspire you. When choosing plants look at the shapes, patterns, lines, and colors to inspire a sense of peacefulness as well as something to concentrate upon when meditating (if you choose to do so).

9  Keep your garden safe for all comersUse eco-friendly garden solutions and products. A meditation garden is a place to be at one with nature and the Earth; it wouldn't make sense to drown it in chemicals such as pesticides (insecticides), fungicides, anti-microbials and rodenticides. If you are practicing a philosophy of non-harm, or a virtue system such as Buddhist precepts using such toxins can affect the quality of the meditation as well as your well-being. Instead, look for the eco-friendly options to keep weeds and other pests under control within your garden, as well as using eco-friendly plant nutrient options.

10 Keep updating and changing your meditation garden to suit your needs. As with meditation itself, which helps you to grow and change over time, your garden should not be stuck in time. Replenish and refurbish your meditation garden as your own needs and wants evolve.

11 When meditating, select an area that is cool, calm and preferably quiet. Use a cheap doormat or an old beach-towel as a cost effective meditation mat (so you won't get damp from contacting grass or soil when sitting), then close your eyes, relax, focus and just let the meditation happen.
For more information on meditation, check out the breathing and meditation section on wikihow. There is a very wide variety of meditations to suit all kinds of people, some for calming and stress reduction, some for spiritual or mental health, some are insight or contemplative focussed and some are exercise forms in their own right, such as Tai Chi, walking meditation or Yoga (etc). They all have subtle differences, but it always depends on how you use your experiences to make them worthwhile.

Tips
 If they distract you, turn them off for a little while.If you find that an item is distracting you because of the noise it makes, such as a noisy fountain or dangling chimes, remove them. However, don't assume that these won't work for you. Their constant noise may be a source of focus and peace for you, and they may help to drown out traffic or neighbourhood noise.
Types of shelter or barrier can include screens, fences, trellis, logs, fern logs, woven hazel panels, brush fences, a single wall placed strategically, a hedge, a line of bushes or trees, containers with plants, benches, seating, etc. Even a pond can help create a sense of separation between one part of the garden and another.

Warnings

Aim for balance between creating your garden and relaxing in it. You don't want to grow to resent it because it requires so much work to both create and maintain.
Bamboo looks tranquil, but in many places it is considered to be an invasive species that will take over your yard and harm native species. Make sure you research your plant choices!
Some trees, plants and flowers are said to attract snakes or (what some may consider) unwelcome pests.
Standing water can attract mosquitoes, which can be dangerous if you live in an area that has had trouble with diseases transmitted by mosquitoes. You may have to drain your water feature for a time.
Stagnant water is never a good idea, so bird-baths etc need regular emptying and cleaning. Ensure that water does not collect or stagnate in urns and pots. If you have fish-ponds etc, see that they are kept clean. You don't want decaying plant matter and (worse!) dead fish floating around.

 Things You'll Need

Garden space
Surfacing materials
Plants
Seating arrangements
Garden equipment

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Beef Burgundy

Organizing a potluck dinner is one way to enjoy good friends. I ask guests to bring a salad, bread, or dessert. I supply a no-fuss entree, such as Beef Burgundy. If I have time, I like to buy a variety of red and white wines for tasting and comparing.

Yield: 4 to 6 servings

2 pounds boneless beef chuck, cut into 1-inch pieces
1/3 cup flour
1/3 cup olive oil
2 beef bouillon cubes
2 cups hot water
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 can (6 ounces) tomato paste
1-1/2 cups Burgundy
1/2 pound small white onions
4 carrots, finely chopped
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon dried thyme
2 teaspoons sugar
1/4 cup unsalted butter
1/2 pound mushrooms, sliced
Egg noodles or rice (optional)
 
Coat the beef with the flour. In a large pot, heat the olive oil. Add the meat and brown quickly over high heat. Transfer the meat to a slow cooker. Dissolve the bouillon cubes in the hot water. Add to the pot with the garlic, tomato paste, Burgundy, onions, carrots, herbs, and sugar. Stir gently. Cover and cook on low for 5 to 7 hours. Just before serving, melt the butter in a pan and saut$eacute; the mushrooms until golden. Add them to the beef. Serve over egg noodles or rice, if desired. Beef Burgundy can be made the day before serving and reheated

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Cranberry Pot Roast

   We've seen pot roasts flavored with horseradish and pot roasts flavored with rum. But this cranberry-and-spice version is a tasty twist on an old Yankee favorite.

Yield: 8 servings

2 tablespoons all-purpose white flour
4 pounds beef pot roast (boneless chuck or rump roast)
3 tablespoons solid vegetable shortening
1 can (16 ounces) whole-berry cranberry sauce
8 whole cloves
1 cinnamon stick
salt and pepper to taste
Rub the flour into the roast. Melt the shortening in a Dutch oven. Brown the roast in the shortening, turning it to brown all sides. Reduce the heat and add the remaining ingredients. Cover and simmer for at least 3 hours, turning once or twice during the cooking. When the meat is tender, remove from the pan. Strain the drippings and discard the spices. Allow the drippings to cool and skim off the fat that rises to the surface. Reheat the meat in the degreased sauce, then bring to the table to carve, serving the sauce on the side

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Campbell's Cheesy Tuna & Noodles

This dish makes tuna-noodle lovers sit up and take new notice-with the addition of colorful vegetables, mozzarella cheese, ramen noodles and a bit of garlic. A real kid-pleaser, serve this dish with baked biscuits or breadsticks.

Serves: 6
Prep. time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 20 minutes

3 pkg. (3 oz. each) chicken flavor ramen noodle soup 
1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular, 98% Fat Free or 25% Less Sodium) 
3/4 cup milk 
1/8 tsp. garlic powder 
1/8 tsp. pepper 
1 pkg. (about 9 oz.) frozen mixed vegetables 
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese 
1 can (about 6 oz.) tuna, drained and flaked 

 
COOK ramen soup according to pkg. directions. Drain off most of liquid.
MIX mushroom soup, milk, garlic, pepper and vegetables in skillet. Heat to a boil. Cover and cook over low heat 5 min. or until vegetables are tender. Add cheese and heat until melted.
ADD tuna and noodles. Heat through.

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Veal Chops Milanese with Sage

To get half-inch veal chops, the butcher will have to cut two chops per rib rather than just cutting between ribs. Half of the chops will have a rib bone and half won’t.

Serves: 4
Prep. time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 7 minutes

1 egg 
1/4 teaspoon salt 
1/8 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper 
3/4 cup dry bread crumbs 
1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage, or 1 teaspoon dried sage 
4 veal chops, 1/2-inch-thick (about 5 ounces each), chine bone removed, chops pounded to 1/8-inch thick 
5 tablespoons butter 
1 lemon, cut into wedges 

Beat the egg to mix with the salt and the pepper. Combine the bread crumbs and the fresh or dried sage. Dip the veal chops (including the rib bone if the chop has one) into the beaten egg and then into the bread crumbs. Shake off the excess bread crumbs.

In a large nonstick frying pan, melt the butter over moderately low heat. Put the coated veal chops in the pan and cook until golden, about 4 minutes. Turn and cook until golden and just done, about 3 minutes longer. Serve with the lemon wedges.

 
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Campbell's Homemade Meat Sauce with Spaghetti

Sautéed ground beef and onions are added to seasoned pasta sauce to top hot spaghetti.

Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes

1 lb. ground beef 
1 medium onion, chopped 
1 jar (24 ozs.) Prego Flavored with Meat Italian Sauce 
3/4 of a 16 ounce package spaghetti, cooked and drained (about 6 cups) 

Cook the beef and onion in a 10-inch skillet over medium heat until beef is browned, stirring often to break up meat. Pour off the fat.
Stir the pasta sauce in the skillet. Heat through, stirring occasionally. Serve over the spaghetti
 
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When To Treat Your Dog At Home And When To Call The Vet

When you have a dog, emergencies can happen at any time. Some are very minor; but some are urgent, and without treatment your dog could die.

The American Kennel Club recently published an article to help guide dog owners through a few common emergencies. It also tells you when you should call the vet.  Go to: When To Treat Your Dog At Home And When To Call The Vet.
 
You will find out when you need to worry about:

•    Eye problems
•    Vomiting and diarrhea
•    Bloat
•    Allergic reactions

When to Treat Your Dog at Home and When to Call the Vet   By: AKC Share this       
Emergencies for your dog can happen at any time. Some are minor, while others can be life threatening. In the November/December 2010 issue of American Kennel Club's AKC Family Dog contributor and veterinarian Jeff Grognet, DVM offers advice on what you can treat at home and when you should bring your dog to the veterinarian. Among them:

Eyes: Any eye problem your dog has needs to be seen by a veterinarian. Most people can't tell if their dog has a scratch that will heal on its own, or glaucoma which will cause vision loss very quickly.

Vomiting and diarrhea: Sudden, mild vomiting is common and can be treated at home, as long as the dog is not inactive and lethargic and the vomiting stops. Withhold food and water for 12 hours. Once the 12 hours have gone by, offer your dog water. If he can hold the water down for two hours, offer some bland food.
Diarrhea can be treated at home by withholding only food. "Whenever vomiting or diarrhea continues, or the dog is depressed, or if the dog is under 16 weeks old or is a senior, it's time for a veterinary visit," says Dr. Grognet. "These dogs are fragile and a little dehydration can make them ill."

Bloat: Bloat happens to a dog when the stomach begins swelling with air and rotating, which closes off the entrance and exit. Symptoms of bloat include drooling, trying to vomit, anxiety, pacing, and a swollen belly. This disease is very dangerous and needs immediate treatment from your veterinarian.

Allergic reactions: Your dog might have an allergic reaction from insect bites or stings, food, or medications. What most commonly happens is the muzzle and eyelids will swell. While this is uncomfortable for your pooch, it is not dangerous. He may also develop hives on his body which are very itchy, but also not dangerous. Consult your vet on how to keep your dog comfortable during an allergic reaction.

In addition, the article offers a list of items dog owners should have on hand. Among them:

Adhesive tape for bandaging.

Sterile dressing pads for covering wounds.

Gauze sponges for covering or cleaning wounds.

Antiseptic soap/solution for cleaning wounds.

Plastic Elizabethan collar to prevent your dog from licking wounds or irritated skin, or rubbing at his eyes or ears.

Blanket or towel to keep your dog warm or to carry him hammock-style.

I hope this information will help keep your dog healthy.

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Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit.
I suggest you take a cold bath every morning.
Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor.
Doctor: You do?
Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!

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An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.
Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.
At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

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As my father placed his purchases on the grocery store counter, the checker smiled and asked, "A little late, aren't you?" He didn't get what she was talking about at first -- until he looked at the items he was buying: an inexpensive pair of reading glasses and a big bag of carrots.

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The poet Heine and Baron James Rothschild were close friends. At the dinner table of the latter the financier asked the poet why he was so silent, when usually so gay and full of witty remarks.

"Quite right," responded Heine, "but to-night I have exchanged views with my German friends and my head is fearfully empty."

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At a recent conference of Baptists, Methodists, and English Friends, in the city of Chengtu, China, two Chinamen were heard discussing the three denominations. One of them said to the other:

"They say these denominations have different beliefs. Just what is the difference between them?"

"Oh," said the other, "Not much! Big washee, little washee, no washee, that is all."

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The patient went to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing.

The patient put it in his pocket, but he forgot to have it filled. Every morning for two years, he showed it to the conductor as a railroad pass. Twice, it got him into the movies, once into the baseball park, and once into the symphony.

He got a raise at work by showing it as a note from the boss. One day, he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played it on the piano, and won a scholarship to a conservatory of music.

 

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits

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