One economist's analysis calculates that, despite increased overall spending, Christmas is a deadweight loss under orthodox microeconomic theory, because of the effect of gift-giving. This loss is calculated as the difference between what the gift giver spent on the item and what the gift receiver would have paid for the item. It is estimated that in 2001, Christmas resulted in a $4 billion deadweight loss in the U.S. alone.[160][161] Because of complicating factors, this analysis is sometimes used to discuss possible flaws in current microeconomic theory. Other deadweight losses include the effects of Christmas on the environment and the fact that material gifts are often perceived as white elephants, imposing cost for upkeep and storage and contributing to clutter.

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Wishing everyone  a Blessed Christmas Day with all your dreams coming true.  May you be blessed in everyway everyday.  Remember the reason for the season. 

Tags: Religion Christmas

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Merry Christmas to all my friends, fiends, and relatives,
This is a special edition of Grammies Bullitin.  We are going
to look at Christmas today and that will be it.  Sorry but we
will get back to normal, what ever that is, tomorrow. ...
This is a tribute to CHRISTMAS - CHRIST:

The Christmas Story"
King James Version
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Unto us a Son is given.
"For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given: and The Government shall be upon His Shoulder: and His Name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty GOD, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His Government and peace there shall be no end, upon the Throne of David, and upon His Kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of Hosts will perform this"
(Isaiah 9:6-7).

by The Holy Spirit through The Apostles Luke and Matthew

Joy!
The Story of the Birth of Christ
As told through Luke

Luke 2:1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. 2:2 (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) 2:3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. 2:4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) 2:5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with Child. 2:6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

2:7 And she brought forth her firstborn Son,
and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger;
because there was no room for them in the inn.

2:8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 2:9 And, lo, the angel of the LORD came upon them, and the glory of the LORD shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 2:10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 2:11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the LORD. 2:12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 2:13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 2:14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. 2:15 And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into Heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the LORD hath made known unto us. 2:16 And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. 2:17 And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this Child. 2:18 And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. 2:19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. 2:20 And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them. 2:21 And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the Child, His Name was called JESUS, which was so named of the angel before He was conceived in the womb.

Joy!
The Story of the Birth of Christ
As told through Matthew

Matthew 1:16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, Who is called Christ. 1:17 So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations. 1:18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as His mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with Child of the Holy Ghost. 1:19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily. 1:20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for That which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. 1:21 And she shall bring forth a Son, and thou shalt call His Name JESUS: for He shall save His people from their sins. 1:22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the LORD by the prophet, saying, 1:23 Behold, a virgin shall be with Child, and shall bring forth a Son, and they shall call His Name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God With Us. 1:24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the LORD had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: 1:25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn Son: and he called His Name JESUS.

2:1 Now when Jesus was born
in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king,
behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem,
2:2 Saying, Where is He that is born King of the Jews?

for we have seen His Star in the east, and are come to worship Him. 2:3 When Herod the king had heard these things, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him. 2:4 And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born. 2:5 And they said unto him, In Bethlehem of Judaea: for thus it is written by the prophet, 2:6 And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Juda, art not the least among the princes of Juda: for out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule My people Israel. 2:7 Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, inquired of them diligently what time the Star appeared. 2:8 And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young Child; and when ye have found Him, bring me word again, that I may come and worship Him also. 2:9 When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the Star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young Child was.

2:10 When they saw the Star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. 2:11 And when they were come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down, and worshipped Him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto Him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.

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Christmas
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Observed by     Christians
Many non-Christians[1]
Type     Christian, cultural
Significance     Traditional birthday of Jesus
Date     December 25 (alternatively, January 6, 7 or 19) (see below)
Observances     Church services, gift giving, family and other social gatherings, symbolic decorating
Related to     Christmastide, Christmas Eve, Advent, Annunciation, Epiphany, Baptism of the Lord, Yule

Christmas (Old English: Cristesmæsse, meaning "Christ's Mass") is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ[5][6] and a widely observed holiday, celebrated generally on December 25[2][3][4] by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide.[7] Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations,[8][9][10] is celebrated by an increasing number of non-Christians,[1][11][12] and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

The precise year of Jesus' birth, which some historians place between 7 and 2 BC, is unknown. By the early-to-mid 4th century, the Western Christian Church had placed Christmas on December 25,[15] a date later adopted in the East.[16][17] The date of Christmas may have initially been chosen to correspond with the day exactly nine months after early Christians believed Jesus to have been conceived,[18] as well as the date of the southern solstice (i.e., the Roman winter solstice), with a sun connection being possible because Christians consider Jesus to be the "Sun of righteousness" prophesied in Malachi 4:2.[18][19][20][21][22]

The original date of the celebration in Eastern Christianity was January 6, in connection with Epiphany, and that is still the date of the celebration for the Armenian Apostolic Church and in Armenia, where it is a public holiday. As of 2012, there is a difference of 13 days between the modern Gregorian calendar and the older Julian calendar. Those who continue to use the Julian calendar or its equivalents thus celebrate December 25 and January 6 on what for the majority of the world is January 7 and January 19. For this reason, Ethiopia, Russia, Ukraine, Serbia, the Republic of Macedonia, and the Republic of Moldova celebrate Christmas on what in the Gregorian calendar is January 7; all the Greek Orthodox Churches celebrate Christmas on December 25.

The popular celebratory customs associated in various countries with Christmas have a mix of pre-Christian, Christian and secular themes and origins.[23] Popular modern customs of the holiday include gift giving, Christmas music and caroling, an exchange of Christmas cards, church celebrations, a special meal, and the display of various Christmas decorations, including Christmas trees, Christmas lights, nativity scenes, garlands, wreaths, mistletoe, and holly. In addition, several closely related and often interchangeable figures, known as Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas and Christkind, are associated with bringing gifts to children during the Christmas season and have their own body of traditions and lore.[24] Because gift-giving and many other aspects of the Christmas festival involve heightened economic activity among both Christians and non-Christians, the holiday has become a significant event and a key sales period for retailers and businesses. The economic impact of Christmas is a factor that has grown steadily over the past few centuries in many regions of the world.
Name
Etymology

The word "Christmas" originated as a compound meaning "Christ's Mass". It is derived from the Middle English Cristemasse, which is from Old English Cristesmæsse, a phrase first recorded in 1038.[6] Crist (genitive Cristes) is from Greek Khristos (???st??), a translation of Hebrew Mašîa? (????????), "Messiah"; and mæsse is from Latin missa, the celebration of the Eucharist. The form "Christenmas" was also historically used, but is now considered archaic and dialectal;[25] it derives from Middle English Cristenmasse, literally "Christian mass".[26] "Xmas" is an abbreviation of Christmas found particularly in print, based on the initial letter chi (?) in Greek Khristos (???st??), "Christ", though numerous style guides discourage its use;[27] it has precedent in Middle English ??¯es masse (where "??¯" is an abbreviation for ???st??).[26]

Other names

In addition to "Christmas", the holiday has been known by various other names throughout its history. The Anglo-Saxons referred to the feast as midwinter, "midwinter",[28][29] or, more rarely, as Natiuiteð (from Latin nativitas below).[28][30] "Nativity", meaning "birth", is from Latin nativitas.[31] In Old English, Geola ("Yule") referred to the period corresponding to January and December;[32] the cognate Old Norse Jól was later the name of a pagan Scandinavian holiday which merged with Christmas around 1000.[28] "Noel" (or "Nowell") entered English in the late 14th century and is from the Old French noël or naël, itself ultimately from the Latin natalis (dies), "(day) of birth".[33]

Celebration
Further information: Christmas worldwide
Map of 39 countries where Christmas is not a public holiday. It is recognized in all countries colored gray.

Christmas Day is celebrated as a major festival and public holiday in countries around the world, including many whose populations are mostly non-Christian. In some non-Christian countries, periods of former colonial rule introduced the celebration (e.g. Hong Kong); in others, Christian minorities or foreign cultural influences have led populations to observe the holiday. Countries such as Japan, where Christmas is popular despite there being only a small number of Christians, have adopted many of the secular aspects of Christmas, such as gift-giving, decorations and Christmas trees.

Countries in which Christmas is not a formal public holiday include China, (excepting Hong Kong and Macao), Japan, Saudi Arabia, Algeria, Thailand, Nepal, Iran, Turkey and North Korea. Christmas celebrations around the world can vary markedly in form, reflecting differing cultural and national traditions.

Among countries with a strong Christian tradition, a variety of Christmas celebrations have developed that incorporate regional and local cultures. For Christians, participating in a religious service plays an important part in the recognition of the season. Christmas, along with Easter, is the period of highest annual church attendance.

In Catholic countries, people hold religious processions or parades in the days preceding Christmas. In other countries, secular processions or parades featuring Santa Claus and other seasonal figures are often held. Family reunions and the exchange of gifts are a widespread feature of the season. Gift giving takes place on Christmas Day in most countries. Others practice gift giving on December 6, Saint Nicholas Day, and January 6, Epiphany.

Commemorating Jesus' birth

Main articles: Annunciation, Nativity of Jesus, and Child Jesus
Anbetung der Hirten (Adoration of the Shepherds) (c. 1500–10), by Italian painter Giorgio da Castelfranco

Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus to the Virgin Mary as a fulfillment of the Old Testament's Messianic prophecy.[34] The Bible contains two accounts which describe the events surrounding Jesus' birth. Depending on one's perspective, these accounts either differ from each other or tell two versions of the same story.[35][36][37][38] These biblical accounts are found in the Gospel of Matthew, namely Matthew 1:18, and the Gospel of Luke, specifically Luke 1:26 and 2:40. According to these accounts, Jesus was born to Mary, assisted by her husband Joseph, in the city of Bethlehem.
On Christmas Day, the Christ Candle in the center of the Advent wreath is traditionally lit in many church services.

According to popular tradition, the birth took place in a stable, surrounded by farm animals. A manger (that is, a feeding trough) is mentioned in Luke 2:7, where it states Mary "wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn" (KJV); and "She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them" (NIV). Shepherds from the fields surrounding Bethlehem were told of the birth by an angel, and were the first to see the child.[39] Popular tradition also holds that three kings or wise men (named Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar) visited the infant Jesus in the manger, though this does not strictly follow the Biblical account. The Gospel of Matthew instead describes a visit by an unspecified number of magi, or astrologers, sometime after Jesus was born while the family was living in a house (Matthew 2:11), who brought gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh to the young child Jesus. The visitors were said to be following a mysterious star, commonly known as the Star of Bethlehem, believing it to announce the birth of a king of the Jews.[40] The commemoration of this visit, the Feast of Epiphany celebrated on January 6, is the formal end of the Christmas season in some churches.

Christians celebrate Christmas in various ways. In addition to this day being one of the most important and popular for the attendance of church services, there are other devotions and popular traditions. In some Christian denominations, children re-enact the events of the Nativity with animals to portray the event with more realism or sing carols that reference the event. Some Christians also display a small re-creation of the Nativity, known as a Nativity scene or crèche, in their homes, using figurines to portray the key characters of the event. Prior to Christmas Day, the Eastern Orthodox Church practices the 40-day Nativity Fast in anticipation of the birth of Jesus, while much of Western Christianity celebrates four weeks of Advent. The final preparations for Christmas are made on Christmas Eve, and many families' major observation of Christmas actually falls in the evening of this day.

A long artistic tradition has grown of producing painted depictions of the nativity in art. Nativity scenes are traditionally set in a stable with livestock and include Mary, Joseph, the infant Jesus in the manger, the three wise men, the shepherds and their sheep, the angels, and the Star of Bethlehem.[41]

Decorations

Main article: Christmas decoration

Clifton Mill in Clifton, Ohio is the site of this Christmas display with over 3.5 million lights.
Saint Anselm College decorates with a more traditional display

The practice of putting up special decorations at Christmas has a long history. In the 15th century, it was recorded that in London it was the custom at Christmas for every house and all the parish churches to be "decked with holm, ivy, bays, and whatsoever the season of the year afforded to be green".[42] The heart-shaped leaves of ivy were said to symbolize the coming to earth of Jesus, while holly was seen as protection against pagans and witches, its thorns and red berries held to represent the Crown of Thorns worn by Jesus at the crucifixion and the blood he shed.[43][44]

Nativity scenes are known from 10th-century Rome. They were popularised by Saint Francis of Asissi from 1223, quickly spreading across Europe.[45] Different types of decorations developed across the Christian world, dependent on local tradition and available resources. The first commercially produced decorations appeared in Germany in the 1860s, inspired by paper chains made by children. In countries where a representation of the Nativity Scene is very popular, people are encouraged to compete and create the most original or realistic ones. Within some families, the pieces used to make the representation are considered a valuable family heirloom.

The traditional colors of Christmas are green and red.White, silver and gold are also popular. Red symbolizes the blood of Jesus, which was shed in his crucifixion, while green symbolizes eternal life, and in particular the evergreen tree, which does not lose its leaves in the winter.[44][47]
The famous Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree in New York City.

The Christmas tree is considered by some as Christianisation of pagan tradition and ritual surrounding the Winter Solstice, which included the use of evergreen boughs, and an adaptation of pagan tree worship;[48] according to eighth-century biographer Æddi Stephanus, Saint Boniface (634–709), who was a missionary in Germany, took an axe to an oak tree dedicated to Thor and pointed out a fir tree, which he stated was a more fitting object of reverence because it pointed to heaven and it had a triangular shape, which he said was symbolic of the Trinity.[49] The English language phrase "Christmas tree" is first recorded in 1835[50] and represents an importation from the German language. The modern Christmas tree tradition is believed to have begun in Germany in the 18th century[48] though many argue that Martin Luther began the tradition in the 16th century.

From Germany the custom was introduced to Britain, first via Queen Charlotte, wife of George III, and then more successfully by Prince Albert during the reign of Queen Victoria. By 1841 the Christmas tree had become even more widespread throughout Britain.[53] By the 1870s, people in the United States had adopted the custom of putting up a Christmas tree.[54] Christmas trees may be decorated with lights and ornaments.

Since the 19th century, the poinsettia, a native plant from Mexico, has been associated with Christmas. Other popular holiday plants include holly, mistletoe, red amaryllis, and Christmas cactus. Along with a Christmas tree, the interior of a home may be decorated with these plants, along with garlands and evergreen foliage. The display of Christmas villages has also become a tradition in many homes during this season. The outside of houses may be decorated with lights and sometimes with illuminated sleighs, snowmen, and other Christmas figures.

Other traditional decorations include bells, candles, candy canes, stockings, wreaths, and angels. Both the displaying of wreaths and candles in each window are a more traditional Christmas display. The concentric assortment of leaves, usually from an evergreen, make up Christmas wreaths and are designed to prepare Christians for the Advent season. Candles in each window are meant to demonstrate the fact that Christians believe that Jesus Christ is the ultimate light of the world.[55] Both of these antiquated, more subdued, Christmas displays are seen in the image to the right of Saint Anselm College.

Christmas lights and banners may be hung along streets, music played from speakers, and Christmas trees placed in prominent places.[56] It is common in many parts of the world for town squares and consumer shopping areas to sponsor and display decorations. Rolls of brightly colored paper with secular or religious Christmas motifs are manufactured for the purpose of wrapping gifts. In some countries, Christmas decorations are traditionally taken down on Twelfth Night, the evening of January 5.
Music and carols

Main article: Christmas music
Christmas carolers in Jersey

The earliest extant specifically Christmas hymns appear in 4th century Rome. Latin hymns such as Veni redemptor gentium, written by Ambrose, Archbishop of Milan, were austere statements of the theological doctrine of the Incarnation in opposition to Arianism. Corde natus ex Parentis (Of the Father's love begotten) by the Spanish poet Prudentius (d. 413) is still sung in some churches today.
In the 9th and 10th centuries, the Christmas "Sequence" or "Prose" was introduced in North European monasteries, developing under Bernard of Clairvaux into a sequence of rhymed stanzas. In the 12th century the Parisian monk Adam of St. Victor began to derive music from popular songs, introducing something closer to the traditional Christmas carol.

By the 13th century, in France, Germany, and particularly, Italy, under the influence of Francis of Asissi, a strong tradition of popular Christmas songs in the native language developed.[58] Christmas carols in English first appear in a 1426 work of John Awdlay, a Shropshire chaplain, who lists twenty-five "caroles of Cristemas", probably sung by groups of wassailers, who went from house to house.

The songs we know specifically as carols were originally communal folk songs sung during celebrations such as "harvest tide" as well as Christmas. It was only later that carols began to be sung in church. Traditionally, carols have often been based on medieval chord patterns, and it is this that gives them their uniquely characteristic musical sound. Some carols like "Personent hodie", "Good King Wenceslas", and "The Holly and the Ivy" can be traced directly back to the Middle Ages. They are among the oldest musical compositions still regularly sung. Adeste Fidelis (O Come all ye faithful) appears in its current form in the mid-18th century, although the words may have originated in the 13th century.
Child singers in Bucharest, 1841

Singing of carols initially suffered a decline in popularity after the Protestant Reformation in northern Europe, although some Reformers, like Martin Luther, wrote carols and encouraged their use in worship. Carols largely survived in rural communities until the revival of interest in popular songs in the 19th century. The 18th century English reformer Charles Wesley understood the importance of music to worship. In addition to setting many psalms to melodies, which were influential in the Great Awakening in the United States, he wrote texts for at least three Christmas carols. The best known was originally entitled "Hark! How All the Welkin Rings", later renamed "Hark! the Herald Angels Sing".[60]

Felix Mendelssohn wrote a melody adapted to fit Wesley's words. In Austria in 1818 Mohr and Gruber made a major addition to the genre when they composed "Silent Night" for the St. Nicholas Church, Oberndorf. William B. Sandys' Christmas Carols Ancient and Modern (1833) contained the first appearance in print of many now-classic English carols, and contributed to the mid-Victorian revival of the festival.
Menu

Jingle Bells, 19th century (instrumental)

Completely secular Christmas seasonal songs emerged in the late 18th century. "Deck The Halls" dates from 1784, and the American "Jingle Bells" was copyrighted in 1857. In the 19th and 20th century, African American spirituals and songs about Christmas, based in their tradition of spirituals, became more widely known. An increasing number of seasonal holidays songs were commercially produced in the 20th century, including jazz and blues variations. In addition, there was a revival of interest in early music, from groups singing folk music, such as The Revels, to performers of early medieval and classical music.

Traditional cuisine

Further information: Christmas dinner
Christmas pudding cooked on Stir-up Sunday, the Sunday before the beginning of the Advent season.

A special Christmas family meal is traditionally an important part of the holiday's celebration, and the food that is served varies greatly from country to country. Some regions, such as Sicily, have special meals for Christmas Eve, when 12 kinds of fish are served. In England and countries influenced by its traditions, a standard Christmas meal includes turkey or goose, meat, gravy, potatoes, vegetables, sometimes bread and cider. Special desserts are also prepared, such as Christmas pudding, mince pies and fruit cake.[62][63]

In Poland and other parts of eastern Europe and Scandinavia, fish often is used for the traditional main course, but richer meat such as lamb is increasingly served. In Germany, France and Austria, goose and pork are favored. Beef, ham and chicken in various recipes are popular throughout the world. The Maltese traditionally serve Imbuljuta tal-Qastan,[64] a chocolate and chestnuts beverage, after Midnight Mass and throughout the Christmas season. Slovaks prepare the traditional Christmas bread potica, bûche de Noël in France, panettone in Italy, and elaborate tarts and cakes. The eating of sweets and chocolates has become popular worldwide, and sweeter Christmas delicacies include the German stollen, marzipan cake or candy, and Jamaican rum fruit cake. As one of the few fruits traditionally available to northern countries in winter, oranges have been long associated with special Christmas foods.

Cards

Main article: Christmas card

Christmas cards with angels, Scandinavian “nisser”, Father Christmas, snow men and hearts.

Christmas cards are illustrated messages of greeting exchanged between friends and family members during the weeks preceding Christmas Day. The traditional greeting reads "wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year", much like that of the first commercial Christmas card, produced by Sir Henry Cole in London in 1843.[65] The custom of sending them has become popular among a wide cross-section of people with the emergence of the modern trend towards exchanging E-cards.

Christmas cards are purchased in considerable quantities, and feature artwork, commercially designed and relevant to the season. The content of the design might relate directly to the Christmas narrative with depictions of the Nativity of Jesus, or Christian symbols such as the Star of Bethlehem, or a white dove which can represent both the Holy Spirit and Peace on Earth. Other Christmas cards are more secular and can depict Christmas traditions, mythical figures such as Santa Claus, objects directly associated with Christmas such as candles, holly and baubles, or a variety of images associated with the season, such as Christmastide activities, snow scenes and the wildlife of the northern winter. There are even humorous cards and genres depicting nostalgic scenes of the past such as crinolined shoppers in idealized 19th century streetscapes.

Some prefer cards with a poem, prayer or Biblical verse; while others distance themselves from religion with an all-inclusive "Season's greetings".

Commemorative stamps

Main article: Christmas stamp

A number of nations have issued commemorative stamps at Christmastide. Postal customers will often use these stamps to mail Christmas cards, and they are popular with philatelists. These stamps are regular postage stamps, unlike Christmas seals, and are valid for postage year-round. They usually go on sale some time between early October and early December, and are printed in considerable quantities.

In 1898 a Canadian stamp was issued to mark the inauguration of the Imperial Penny Postage rate. The stamp features a map of the globe and bears an inscription "XMAS 1898" at the bottom. In 1937, Austria issued two "Christmas greeting stamps" featuring a rose and the signs of the zodiac. In 1939, Brazil issued four semi-postal stamps with designs featuring the three kings and a star of Bethlehem, an angel and child, the Southern Cross and a child, and a mother and child.

Both the US Postal Service and the Royal Mail regularly issue Christmas-themed stamps each year.

Gift giving
The exchanging of gifts is one of the core aspects of the modern Christmas celebration, making the Christmas season the most profitable time of year for retailers and businesses throughout the world. Gift giving was common in the Roman celebration of Saturnalia, an ancient festival which took place in late December and may have influenced Christmas customs.[66] On Christmas, Christians exchange gifts on the basis that the tradition is associated St. Nicholas with Christmas,[67] and that gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh were given to the infant Jesus by the Biblical Magi.[68][69]

Gift-bearing figures

Main articles: Santa Claus and Father Christmas

Sinterklaas or Saint Nicholas, considered by many to be the original Santa Claus.

A number of figures are associated with Christmas and the seasonal giving of gifts. Among these are Father Christmas, also known as Santa Claus (derived from the Dutch for Saint Nicholas), Père Noël, and the Weihnachtsmann; Saint Nicholas or Sinterklaas; the Christkind; Kris Kringle; Joulupukki; Babbo Natale; Saint Basil; and Father Frost.

The best known of these figures today is red-dressed Santa Claus, of diverse origins. The name Santa Claus can be traced back to the Dutch Sinterklaas, which means simply Saint Nicholas. Nicholas was Bishop of Myra, in modern day Turkey, during the 4th century. Among other saintly attributes, he was noted for the care of children, generosity, and the giving of gifts. His feast on December 6 came to be celebrated in many countries with the giving of gifts.[70]

Saint Nicholas traditionally appeared in bishop's attire, accompanied by helpers, inquiring about the behaviour of children during the past year before deciding whether they deserved a gift or not. By the 13th century, Saint Nicholas was well known in the Netherlands, and the practice of gift-giving in his name spread to other parts of central and southern Europe. At the Reformation in 16th–17th century Europe, many Protestants changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, corrupted in English to Kris Kringle, and the date of giving gifts changed from December 6 to Christmas Eve.[70]

The modern popular image of Santa Claus, however, was created in the United States, and in particular in New York. The transformation was accomplished with the aid of notable contributors including Washington Irving and the German-American cartoonist Thomas Nast (1840–1902). Following the American Revolutionary War, some of the inhabitants of New York City sought out symbols of the city's non-English past. New York had originally been established as the Dutch colonial town of New Amsterdam and the Dutch Sinterklaas tradition was reinvented as Saint Nicholas.[71]

In 1809, the New-York Historical Society convened and retroactively named Sancte Claus the patron saint of Nieuw Amsterdam, the Dutch name for New York City.[72] At his first American appearance in 1810, Santa Claus was drawn in bishops' robes. However as new artists took over, Santa Claus developed more secular attire. Nast drew a new image of "Santa Claus" annually, beginning in 1863. By the 1880s, Nast's Santa had evolved into the robed, fur clad, form we now recognize, perhaps based on the English figure of Father Christmas. The image was standardized by advertisers in the 1920s.

Father Christmas, a jolly, well nourished, bearded man who typified the spirit of good cheer at Christmas, predates the Santa Claus character. He is first recorded in early 17th century England, but was associated with holiday merrymaking and drunkenness rather than the bringing of gifts. In Victorian Britain, his image was remade to match that of Santa. The French Père Noël evolved along similar lines, eventually adopting the Santa image. In Italy, Babbo Natale acts as Santa Claus, while La Befana is the bringer of gifts and arrives on the eve of the Epiphany. It is said that La Befana set out to bring the baby Jesus gifts, but got lost along the way. Now, she brings gifts to all children. In some cultures Santa Claus is accompanied by Knecht Ruprecht, or Black Peter. In other versions, elves make the toys. His wife is referred to as Mrs. Claus.
Santa Claus is famous around the world for giving gifts to 'good' children.

There has been some opposition to the narrative of the American evolution of Saint Nicholas into the modern Santa. It has been claimed that the Saint Nicholas Society was not founded until 1835, almost half a century after the end of the American War of Independence. Moreover, a study of the "children's books, periodicals and journals" of New Amsterdam by Charles Jones revealed no references to Saint Nicholas or Sinterklaas. However, not all scholars agree with Jones's findings, which he reiterated in a booklength study in 1978; Howard G. Hageman, of New Brunswick Theological Seminary, maintains that the tradition of celebrating Sinterklaas in New York was alive and well from the early settlement of the Hudson Valley on.[78]

Current tradition in several Latin American countries (such as Venezuela and Colombia) holds that while Santa makes the toys, he then gives them to the Baby Jesus, who is the one who actually delivers them to the children's homes, a reconciliation between traditional religious beliefs and the iconography of Santa Claus imported from the United States.

In South Tyrol (Italy), Austria, Czech Republic, Southern Germany, Hungary, Liechtenstein, Slovakia and Switzerland, the Christkind (Ježíšek in Czech, Jézuska in Hungarian and Ježiško in Slovak) brings the presents. Greek children get their presents from Saint Basil on New Year's Eve, the eve of that saint's liturgical feast. The German St. Nikolaus is not identical with the Weihnachtsmann (who is the German version of Santa Claus/Father Christmas). St. Nikolaus wears a bishop's dress and still brings small gifts (usually candies, nuts and fruits) on December 6 and is accompanied by Knecht Ruprecht. Although many parents around the world routinely teach their children about Santa Claus and other gift bringers, some have come to reject this practice, considering it deceptive.[80]

Date of celebration

In the earliest centuries of Christianity, no particular day of the year is known to have been associated with the birth of Jesus. Various dates were speculated: May 20, April 18 or 19, March 25, January 2, November 17 or 20.[6][81] When celebration on a particular date began, January 6 prevailed at least in the East;but, except among Armenians (the Armenian Apostolic Church and the Armenian Catholic Church), who continue to celebrate the birth on January 6, December 25 eventually won acceptance everywhere.

The birth of Jesus was announced in Luke 2:11, "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." Moreover, the belief that God came into the world in the form of man to atone for the sins of humanity is considered to be the primary purpose in celebrating Christmas.

In the early 4th century, the church calendar in Rome contained Christmas on December 25 and other holidays placed on solar dates: "It is cosmic symbolism...which inspired the Church leadership in Rome to elect the southern solstice, December 25, as the birthday of Christ, and the northern solstice as that of John the Baptist, supplemented by the equinoxes as their respective dates of conception. While they were aware that pagans called this day the 'birthday' of Sol Invictus, this did not concern them and it did not play any role in their choice of date for Christmas," according to modern scholar S.E. Hijmans.

Around the year 386 John Chrysostom delivered a sermon in Antioch in favour of adopting the 25 December celebration also in the East, since, he said, the conception of Jesus (Luke 1:26) had been announced during the sixth month of Elisabeth's pregnancy with John the Baptist (Luke 1:10–13), which he dated from the duties Zacharias performed on the Day of Atonement during the seventh month of the Hebrew calendar Ethanim or Tishri (Lev. 16:29, 1 Kings 8:2) which falls from late September to early October. That shepherds watched the flocks by night in the fields in the winter time is supported by the phrase "frost by night" in Genesis 31:38–40. A special group known as the shepherds of Migdal Eder (Gen. 35:19–21, Micah 4:8) watched the flocks by night year round pastured for Temple Sacrifice near Bethlehem.[87][88]

In the early 18th century, some scholars proposed alternative explanations. Isaac Newton argued that the date of Christmas, celebrating the birth of him whom Christians consider to be the "Sun of righteousness" prophesied in Malachi 4:2,[19] was selected to correspond with the southern solstice, which the Romans called bruma, celebrated on December 25.[89] In 1743, German Protestant Paul Ernst Jablonski argued Christmas was placed on December 25 to correspond with the Roman solar holiday Dies Natalis Solis Invicti and was therefore a "paganization" that debased the true church.[22] It has been argued that, on the contrary, the Emperor Aurelian, who in 274 instituted the holiday of the Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, did so partly as an attempt to give a pagan significance to a date already important for Christians in Rome.[90] In 1889, Louis Duchesne proposed that the date of Christmas was calculated as nine months after the Annunciation, the traditional date of the conception of Jesus.[91][18]
Using the Julian calendar and the revised Julian calendar

Eastern Orthodox national churches, including those of Russia, Georgia, Ukraine, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia and the Greek Patriarchate of Jerusalem mark feasts using the older Julian calendar. December 25 on the Julian calendar currently corresponds to January 7 on the internationally used Gregorian calendar. However, other Orthodox Christians, such as the churches of Bulgaria, Greece, Romania, Antioch, Alexandria, Albania, Finland and the Orthodox Church in America, among others, began using the Revised Julian calendar in the early 20th century, which corresponds exactly to the Gregorian calendar.[4]
Listing
Church or section     Date     Calendar     Gregorian date     Note
Armenian Patriarchate of Jerusalem     January 6     Julian calendar     January 19     Correspondence between Julian January 6 and Gregorian January 19 holds until 2100; in the following century the difference will be one day more.
Armenian Apostolic Church and the Armenian Catholic Church     January 6     Gregorian calendar     January 6    
Eastern Orthodox: Russia, Georgia, Ukraine, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia and the Greek Patriarchate of Jerusalem     December 25     Julian calendar     January 7    
Other Eastern Orthodox Churches, including those of Bulgaria, Greece, Romania, Antioch, Alexandria, Albania, Finland and the Orthodox Church in America     December 25     Revised Julian calendar     December 25     Revised Julian calendar usage started in the early 20th century
Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria     Koiak 29 (corresponding to Julian December 25 or 26)     Coptic calendar     January 7 or 8     Since the Coptic calendar's leap day is inserted in what the Julian calendar considers September, the following Koiak 29 falls one day later than usual in the Julian and Gregorian calendars
Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church     Tahsas 29 or 28 (corresponding to Julian December 25)     Ethiopian Calendar     January 7     After the Ethiopian insertion of a leap day in what for the Julian calendar is September, Christmas is celebrated on Tahsas 28 in order to maintain the exact interval of 9 30-day months and 5 days of the child's gestation.[92] The Eritrean Orthodox Tewahedo Church uses the same calendar but, like the Coptic Church, does not make this adjustment.
Western churches     December 25     Gregorian calendar     December 25    
History

The earliest evidence of the celebration on December 25 of a Christian liturgical feast of the birth of Jesus is from the Chronography of 354 AD. This was in Rome, while in Eastern Christianity the birth of Jesus was already celebrated in connection with the Epiphany on January 6.[93][94] The December 25 celebration was imported into the East later: in Antioch by John Chrysostom towards the end of the 4th century,[94] probably in 388, and in Alexandria only in the following century.[95] Even in the West, the January 6 celebration of the nativity of Jesus seems to have continued until after 380.[96]

Many popular customs associated with Christmas developed independently of the commemoration of Jesus' birth, with certain elements having origins in pre-Christian festivals that were celebrated around the winter solstice by pagan populations who were later converted to Christianity. These elements, including the Yule log from Yule and gift giving from Saturnalia,[66] became syncretized into Christmas over the centuries. The prevailing atmosphere of Christmas has also continually evolved since the holiday's inception, ranging from a sometimes raucous, drunken, carnival-like state in the Middle Ages,[97] to a tamer family-oriented and children-centered theme introduced in a 19th-century reformation.[98][99] Additionally, the celebration of Christmas was banned on more than one occasion within Protestant Christendom due to concerns that it was too pagan or unbiblical.[100][101]
Mosaic of Jesus as Christo Sole (Christ the Sun) in Mausoleum M in the pre-fourth-century necropolis under St Peter's Basilica in Rome.[102]

Dies Natalis Solis Invicti

Dies Natalis Solis Invicti means "the birthday of the unconquered sun".

Some early Christian writers connected the sun to the birth of Jesus, which Christians believe was prophesied in Malachi 4:2 as the "Sun of Righteousness."[6] "O, how wonderfully acted Providence that on that day on which that Sun was born...Christ should be born", Cyprian wrote.[6] In the fourth century, John Chrysostom commented on the connection: "But Our Lord, too, is born in the month of December . . . the eight before the calends of January [25 December] . . ., But they call it the 'Birthday of the Unconquered'. Who indeed is so unconquered as Our Lord . . .? Or, if they say that it is the birthday of the Sun, He is the Sun of Justice."[6]

One ancient source mentioned Dies Natalis Solis Invicti in the Chronography of 354, and Sol scholar Steven Hijmans stated that there is no evidence that the celebration precedes that of Christmas:[86] "hile the winter solstice on or around December 25 was well established in the Roman imperial calendar, there is no evidence that a religious celebration of Sol on that day antedated the celebration of Christmas, and none that indicates that Aurelian had a hand in its institution."[86]

Winter festivals

A winter festival was the most popular festival of the year in many cultures. Reasons included the fact that less agricultural work needs to be done during the winter, as well as an expectation of better weather as spring approached.[103] Modern Christmas customs include: gift-giving and merrymaking from Roman Saturnalia; greenery, lights, and charity from the Roman New Year; and Yule logs and various foods from Germanic feasts.[104]

Pagan Scandinavia celebrated a winter festival called Yule, held in the late December to early January period.[citation needed] As Northern Europe was the last part to Christianize, its pagan traditions had a major influence on Christmas, especially Koleda,[105] which was incorporated into the Christmas carol. Scandinavians still call Christmas Jul. In English, the word Yule is synonymous with Christmas,[106] a usage first recorded in 900.
Christianity

The New Testament Gospel of Luke may indirectly give the date as December for the birth of Jesus, with the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy with John the Baptist cited by John Chrysostom (c. 386) as a date for the Annunciation.[6][18][88][107] Tertullian (d. 220) did not mention Christmas as a major feast day in the Church of Roman Africa.[6] In Chronographai, a reference work published in 221, Sextus Julius Africanus suggested that Jesus was conceived on the spring equinox.[108][109] The equinox was March 25 on the Roman calendar, so this implied a birth in December.[110]

Bishops Theophilus of Antioch (ca. 175) and Hippolytus of Rome (204) are often cited among the earliest Christian references to December 25 being the Date of Christ's birth.[citation needed] In 245, the theologian Origen of Alexandria stated that, "only sinners (like Pharaoh and Herod)" celebrated their birthdays.[111] In 303, Christian writer Arnobius ridiculed the idea of celebrating the birthdays of gods, a passage cited as evidence that Arnobius was unaware of any nativity celebration.[112] Since Christmas does not celebrate Christ's birth "as God" but "as man", this is not evidence against Christmas being a feast at this time.[6] The fact the Donatists of North Africa celebrated Christmas may indicate that the feast was established by the time that church was created in 311.


The earliest known reference to the date of the nativity as December 25 is found in the Chronography of 354, an illuminated manuscript compiled in Rome.[113] In the East, early Christians celebrated the birth of Christ as part of Epiphany (January 6), although this festival emphasized celebration of the baptism of Jesus.[114]

Christmas was promoted in the Christian East as part of the revival of Catholicism following the death of the pro-Arian Emperor Valens at the Battle of Adrianople in 378. The feast was introduced to Constantinople in 379, and to Antioch in about 380. The feast disappeared after Gregory of Nazianzus resigned as bishop in 381, although it was reintroduced by John Chrysostom in about 400.[6]
The Examination and Trial of Father Christmas, (1686), published shortly after Christmas was reinstated as a holy day in England.

Middle Ages

In the Early Middle Ages, Christmas Day was overshadowed by Epiphany, which in western Christianity focused on the visit of the magi. But the medieval calendar was dominated by Christmas-related holidays. The forty days before Christmas became the "forty days of St. Martin" (which began on November 11, the feast of St. Martin of Tours), now known as Advent.[97] In Italy, former Saturnalian traditions were attached to Advent.[97] Around the 12th century, these traditions transferred again to the Twelve Days of Christmas (December 25 – January 5); a time that appears in the liturgical calendars as Christmastide or Twelve Holy Days.[97]

The prominence of Christmas Day increased gradually after Charlemagne was crowned Emperor on Christmas Day in 800. King Edmund the Martyr was anointed on Christmas in 855 and King William I of England was crowned on Christmas Day 1066.

By the High Middle Ages, the holiday had become so prominent that chroniclers routinely noted where various magnates celebrated Christmas. King Richard II of England hosted a Christmas feast in 1377 at which twenty-eight oxen and three hundred sheep were eaten.[97] The Yule boar was a common feature of medieval Christmas feasts. Caroling also became popular, and was originally a group of dancers who sang. The group was composed of a lead singer and a ring of dancers that provided the chorus. Various writers of the time condemned caroling as lewd, indicating that the unruly traditions of Saturnalia and Yule may have continued in this form.[97] "Misrule"—drunkenness, promiscuity, gambling—was also an important aspect of the festival. In England, gifts were exchanged on New Year's Day, and there was special Christmas ale.[97]

Christmas during the Middle Ages was a public festival that incorporated ivy, holly, and other evergreens.[115] Christmas gift-giving during the Middle Ages was usually between people with legal relationships, such as tenant and landlord.[115] The annual indulgence in eating, dancing, singing, sporting, and card playing escalated in England, and by the 17th century the Christmas season featured lavish dinners, elaborate masques and pageants. In 1607, King James I insisted that a play be acted on Christmas night and that the court indulge in games.[116] It was during the Reformation in 16th–17th century Europe that many Protestants changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, and the date of giving gifts changed from December 6 to Christmas Eve.[70]

Reformation into the 19th century
Ebenezer Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Present. From Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, 1843.

Following the Protestant Reformation, groups such as the Puritans strongly condemned the celebration of Christmas, considering it a Catholic invention and the "trappings of popery" or the "rags of the Beast."[100] The Catholic Church responded by promoting the festival in a more religiously oriented form. King Charles I of England directed his noblemen and gentry to return to their landed estates in midwinter to keep up their old style Christmas generosity.[116] Following the Parliamentarian victory over Charles I during the English Civil War, England's Puritan rulers banned Christmas in 1647.[100]

Protests followed as pro-Christmas rioting broke out in several cities and for weeks Canterbury was controlled by the rioters, who decorated doorways with holly and shouted royalist slogans.[100] The book, The Vindication of Christmas (London, 1652), argued against the Puritans, and makes note of Old English Christmas traditions, dinner, roast apples on the fire, card playing, dances with "plow-boys" and "maidservants", and carol singing.[117] The Restoration of King Charles II in 1660 ended the ban, but many clergymen still disapproved of Christmas celebration. In Scotland, the Presbyterian Church of Scotland also discouraged the observance of Christmas, and though James VI commanded its celebration in 1618, attendance at church was scant.[118] The Parliament of Scotland officially abolished the observance of Christmas in 1640, claiming that the church had been "purged of all superstitious observation of days".[119] It was not until 1958 that Christmas again became a Scottish public holiday.[120]

In Colonial America, the Puritans of New England shared radical Protestant disapproval of Christmas. Celebration was outlawed in Boston from 1659 to 1681. The ban by the Pilgrims was revoked in 1681 by English governor Sir Edmund Andros, however it was not until the mid-19th century that celebrating Christmas became fashionable in the Boston region.[101]

At the same time, Christian residents of Virginia and New York observed the holiday freely. Pennsylvania German Settlers, pre-eminently the Moravian settlers of Bethlehem, Nazareth and Lititz in Pennsylvania and the Wachovia Settlements in North Carolina, were enthusiastic celebrators of Christmas. The Moravians in Bethlehem had the first Christmas trees in America as well as the first Nativity Scenes.[121] Christmas fell out of favor in the United States after the American Revolution, when it was considered an English custom.[122] George Washington attacked Hessian (German) mercenaries on the day after Christmas during the Battle of Trenton on December 26, 1776, Christmas being much more popular in Germany than in America at this time.

In the early 19th century, writers imagined Tudor Christmas as a time of heartfelt celebration. In 1843, Charles Dickens wrote the novel A Christmas Carol, that helped revive the 'spirit' of Christmas and seasonal merriment.[98][99] Its instant popularity played a major role in portraying Christmas as a holiday emphasizing family, goodwill, and compassion.[123]
The Queen's Christmas tree at Windsor Castle published in the Illustrated London News, 1848, and republished in Godey's Lady's Book, Philadelphia, December 1850.

Dickens sought to construct Christmas as a family-centered festival of generosity, in contrast to the community-based and church-centered observations, the observance of which had dwindled during the late 18th century and early 19th century.[124] Superimposing his secular vision of the holiday, Dickens influenced many aspects of Christmas that are celebrated today in Western culture, such as family gatherings, seasonal food and drink, dancing, games, and a festive generosity of spirit.[125] A prominent phrase from the tale, 'Merry Christmas', was popularized following the appearance of the story.[126] This coincided with the appearance of the Oxford Movement and the growth of Anglo-Catholicism, which led a revival in traditional rituals and religious observances.[127]

The term Scrooge became a synonym for miser, with 'Bah! Humbug!' dismissive of the festive spirit.[128] In 1843, the first commercial Christmas card was produced by Sir Henry Cole.[129] The revival of the Christmas Carol began with William B. Sandys Christmas Carols Ancient and Modern (1833), with the first appearance in print of 'The First Noel', 'I Saw Three Ships', 'Hark the Herald Angels Sing' and 'God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen', popularized in Dickens' A Christmas Carol.

In Britain, the Christmas tree was introduced in the early 19th century following the personal union with the Kingdom of Hanover, by Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, Queen to King George III. In 1832 a young Queen Victoria wrote about her delight at having a Christmas tree, hung with lights, ornaments, and presents placed round it.[130] After her marriage to her German cousin Prince Albert, by 1841 the custom became more widespread throughout Britain.[53]

An image of the British royal family with their Christmas tree at Windsor Castle, created a sensation when it was published in the Illustrated London News in 1848. A modified version of this image was published in the United States in 1850.[54][131] By the 1870s, putting up a Christmas tree had become common in America.[54]
A Norwegian Christmas, 1846 painting by Adolph Tidemand.

In America, interest in Christmas had been revived in the 1820s by several short stories by Washington Irving which appear in his The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon and "Old Christmas". Irving's stories depicted harmonious warm-hearted English Christmas festivities he experienced while staying in Aston Hall, Birmingham, England, that had largely been abandoned,[132] and he used the tract Vindication of Christmas (1652) of Old English Christmas traditions, that he had transcribed into his journal as a format for his stories.[116]

In 1822, Clement Clarke Moore wrote the poem A Visit From St. Nicholas (popularly known by its first line: Twas the Night Before Christmas).[133] The poem helped popularize the tradition of exchanging gifts, and seasonal Christmas shopping began to assume economic importance.[134] This also started the cultural conflict of the holiday's spiritualism and its commercialism that some see as corrupting the holiday. In her 1850 book "The First Christmas in New England", Harriet Beecher Stowe includes a character who complains that the true meaning of Christmas was lost in a shopping spree.[135]

While the celebration of Christmas was not yet customary in some regions in the U.S., Henry Wadsworth Longfellow detected "a transition state about Christmas here in New England" in 1856. "The old puritan feeling prevents it from being a cheerful, hearty holiday; though every year makes it more so".[136] In Reading, Pennsylvania, a newspaper remarked in 1861, "Even our presbyterian friends who have hitherto steadfastly ignored Christmas — threw open their church doors and assembled in force to celebrate the anniversary of the Savior's birth".[136]

The First Congregational Church of Rockford, Illinois, 'although of genuine Puritan stock', was 'preparing for a grand Christmas jubilee', a news correspondent reported in 1864.[136] By 1860, fourteen states including several from New England had adopted Christmas as a legal holiday.[137] In 1870, Christmas was formally declared a United States Federal holiday, signed into law by President Ulysses S. Grant.[137] Subsequently, in 1875, Louis Prang introduced the Christmas card to Americans. He has been called the "father of the American Christmas card".[138]

Controversy and criticism

Throughout the holiday's history, Christmas has been the subject of controversy and attacks from various sources. The first documented Christmas controversy was Puritan led, and began during the English Interregnum, when England was ruled by a Puritan Parliament.[139] Puritans sought to remove the remaining pagan elements of Christmas. During this brief period, the Puritan led English Parliament banned the celebration of Christmas entirely, considering it "a popish festival with no biblical justification", and a time of wasteful and immoral behavior.[140] In Colonial America, the Puritans outlawed celebration of Christmas in 1659.[141]

Christians and defenders of religious freedom have claimed that attacks on Christmas continue in the present-day (dubbed a "war on Christmas").[142][143] One controversy is the occurrence of Christmas trees being renamed Holiday trees.[142] In the United States there has been a tendency to replace the greeting Merry Christmas with Happy Holidays.[144] Groups such as the American Civil Liberties Union have initiated court cases to bar the display of images and other material referring to Christmas from public property, including schools.[145] Such groups argue that government-funded displays of Christmas imagery and traditions violate the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, which prohibits the establishment by Congress of a national religion.[146] In 1984, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Lynch vs. Donnelly that a Christmas display (which included a Nativity scene) owned and displayed by the city of Pawtucket, Rhode Island did not violate the First Amendment.[147]

In November 2009, the Federal appeals court in Philadelphia endorsed a school district's ban on the singing of Christmas carols.[148] The US Supreme Court declined to hear an appeal.[149] In the private sphere also, it has been alleged that any specific mention of the term "Christmas" or its religious aspects was being increasingly censored, avoided, or discouraged by a number of advertisers and retailers. In response, the American Family Association and other groups have organized boycotts of individual retailers.[150]

In the United Kingdom there have been some minor controversies, one of the most famous being the temporary promotion of the Christmas period as Winterval by Birmingham City Council in 1998.[151] Critics attacked the use of the word Winterval as political correctness gone mad, accusing council officials of trying to take the Christ out of Christmas.[151] The council responded to the criticism by stating that Christmas-related words and symbols were prominent in its publicity material.[151] There were also protests in November 2009 when the city council of Dundee promoted its celebrations as the Winter Night Light festival, initially with no specific Christmas references.[152]
Economics

Christmas market in Jena, Germany

Christmas is typically the largest annual economic stimulus for many nations around the world. Sales increase dramatically in almost all retail areas and shops introduce new products as people purchase gifts, decorations, and supplies. In the U.S., the "Christmas shopping season" starts as early as October.[153][154] In Canada, merchants begin advertising campaigns just before Halloween (October 31), and step up their marketing following Remembrance Day on November 11. In the UK and Ireland, the Christmas shopping season starts from mid November, around the time when high street Christmas lights are turned on.[155][156] In the United States, it has been calculated that a quarter of all personal spending takes place during the Christmas/holiday shopping season.[157] Figures from the U.S. Census Bureau reveal that expenditure in department stores nationwide rose from $20.8 billion in November 2004 to $31.9 billion in December 2004, an increase of 54 percent. In other sectors, the pre-Christmas increase in spending was even greater, there being a November – December buying surge of 100 percent in bookstores and 170 percent in jewelry stores. In the same year employment in American retail stores rose from 1.6 million to 1.8 million in the two months leading up to Christmas.[158] Industries completely dependent on Christmas include Christmas cards, of which 1.9 billion are sent in the United States each year, and live Christmas Trees, of which 20.8 million were cut in the U.S. in 2002.[159] In the UK in 2010, up to £8 billion was expected to be spent online at Christmas, approximately a quarter of total retail festive sales.[156]
Each year (most notably 2000) money supply in US banks is increased for Christmas shopping.

In most Western nations, Christmas Day is the least active day of the year for business and commerce; almost all retail, commercial and institutional businesses are closed, and almost all industries cease activity (more than any other day of the year), whether laws require such or not. In England and Wales, the Christmas Day (Trading) Act 2004 prevents all large shops from trading on Christmas Day. Scotland is currently planning similar legislation. Film studios release many high-budget movies during the holiday season, including Christmas films, fantasy movies or high-tone dramas with high production values to hopes of maximizing the chance of nominations for the Academy Awards.

Tags: Religion Christmas

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REMINDER FROM GOD:

Revelation 11:3

(3) And I will give power to my two witnesses, and they will prophesy one thousand two hundred and sixty days, clothed in sackcloth."

The angel is obviously speaking for God—they are not the angel's witnesses but God's! We should note the use of the English possessive "My," which suggests both personal ownership and affiliation.

However, the Greek reads more literally, ". . . the two witnesses of me." While this rendering also imparts the idea of possession, it adds a vital element: that the Two Witnesses testify about God Himself. They are God's direct representatives in the crucial last years of man's civilization. And they represent Him, not just in words, but in everything they do during their prophetic ministry.

In other words, these two men are not run-of-the-mill Christians by any means! Not a single word of censure is aimed at them in either Revelation 11 or Zechariah 4. They will be model Christians, followers of Christ and His righteousness to such a degree that when the people of this world observe them, they will see human reproductions of the life of Christ. In much the same way as Jesus represented the Father during His physical life, so will the witnesses represent Jesus during the Great Tribulation and the Day of the Lord (see John 14:9). While they will not be perfect, they will be men of godly character and virtue.

It is no wonder, then, that they attract the wrath of Satan and the Beast, as well as the hatred of the whole world! Just as Jesus was opposed, mocked, persecuted, and finally killed, so will these men draw the fire of the anti-Christ, end-time population of earth. Thus, Christ endues His two prophets with power to preach, to plague, and to defend themselves against harm (Revelation 11:5). In order to survive their mission during a time of Noachian-type violence, God will give them the tools and protection to reveal Him for a final time as a witness before Christ intervenes in world affairs.

Therefore, we should not be looking necessarily for great signs and wonders being done by two prophets, as that activity will likely be confined to the final three and a half years. By that point, it will be obvious to the enlightened who they are. As Revelation 11:9-10 suggests, by the time they are finished with their work, the whole world will know who they are.

Instead, at this time we need to be looking for Christ-like servants who are fulfilling the type of the two olive trees—feeding the churches through their Holy Spirit-inspired works—and who are focused on "measur the temple of God, the altar, and those who worship there" (Revelation 11:1). They will be intensely laboring to achieve the equipping of the saints (Ephesians 4:12) for the terrifying days to come and the return of Christ.

Who the Two Witnesses are has not yet been revealed, and how long we have to go before the time of their appearance no one knows. However, in looking for them, we need to concentrate on what Scripture reveals so that we might properly identify them. Ecclesiastes 3:11 in the Moffatt version declares how God works in these matters: "He assigned each to its proper time, but for the mind of man he has appointed mystery, that man may never fathom God's own purpose from beginning to end." God will make them known when their time has come. So, wait and watch!



Today, God’s message for you is to not fear illness or death.  We must accept that today may be all we will ever have.  Tomorrow may belong only to others.  Be inspired by what you have already accomplished and create memories that will forever live in the hearts of those you must leave behind.

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WORD FOR THE DAY:

frank·in·cense/'fraNGkin?sens/
Noun:   
An aromatic gum resin obtained from an African tree (Boswellia sacra, family Burseraceae) and burned as incense.


 gold, frankincense, and myrrh  [( mur )]

The three gifts that the Wise Men brought to the infant Jesus. Frankincense and myrrh are aromatic substances. Frankincense is commonly burned as incense, and myrrh is used in burial of the dead.

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Christmas Eve
From Wikipedia ( View original Wikipedia Article ) Last modified on 27 November 2012, at 21:51 

Christmas Eve
Julaftonen (Christmas Eve), a 1904–05 watercolor painting by Carl Larsson
Also called     Christmas Evening
Day before Christmas
Night before Christmas
Observed by     Christians
Many non-Christians
Type     Christian, cultural
Significance     Day or evening preceding the traditional birthday of Jesus
Date     December 24 (alternatively January 6 or 18)
Observances     Gift shopping, gift giving, goodwill greetings, Midnight Mass, other church services, meals, preparations for the arrival of Christmas gift-bringers, preparing for Christmas
Related to     Christmas Day, Christmastide, New Year's Eve

Christmas Eve is the evening or entire day preceding Christmas Day, the widely celebrated annual festival commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ. It occurs on December 24 in the Western Christian Church,[4] and is considered one of the most culturally significant celebrations in Christendom and the Western world, where it widely observed as a full or partial holiday in anticipation of Christmas Day.
One reason celebrations occur on Christmas Eve is because the traditional Christian liturgical day starts at sunset,[5] an inheritance from Jewish tradition,[6] which in turn is based in the story of creation in Genesis: "And there was evening, and there was morning – the first day."[7] This liturgical day is followed for all days in the Eastern rite,[8] and the custom of beginning Christmas celebration (as well as Sunday and the other major festivals) in the preceding evening is preserved in western Churches that have altered the liturgical day to start at midnight, for example the Roman Catholic Church.[9] Many churches still ring their church bells and hold prayers in the evening before holidays; for example, the Nordic Lutheran churches.[10] In some languages, such as the Scandinavian, Christmas Eve is simply referred to as "Christmas Evening".
Since Christian tradition holds that Jesus was born at night (based in Luke 2:6-8), Midnight Mass is celebrated on Christmas Eve, traditionally at midnight, in commemoration of his birth.[11] The idea of Jesus being born at night is reflected in the fact that Christmas Eve is referred to as "Heilige Nacht" ("Holy Night") in German, "Nochebuena" ("the Good Night") in Spanish and similarly in other expressions of Christmas spirituality, such as the song "Silent Night, Holy Night".
Christmas is also celebrated as a secular holiday by some non-Christians;[12] however, in other regions, such as in the Indian subcontinent, though not celebrated by non-Christians, Christmas Eve is nevertheless known as "the big day" (Hindustani ba?a din) by non-Christian religionists, including Hindus and Muslims.

Meals

In some parts of Central and Eastern Europe such as Russia, Ukraine, Poland, and Lithuania, a traditional meatless 12-dishes Christmas Eve Supper is served on Christmas Eve before opening gifts. This is known as the "Holy Meal". The table is spread with a white cloth symbolic of the swaddling clothes the Child Jesus was wrapped in, and a large white candle stands in the center of the table symbolizing Christ the Light of the World. Next to it is a round loaf of bread symbolizing Christ Bread of Life. Hay is often displayed either on the table or as a decoration in the room, reminiscent of the manger in Bethlehem. The twelve dishes (which differ by nationality or region) symbolize the Twelve Apostles.

The Holy Meal was a common Eastern Orthodox tradition in the Russian Empire, but during the era of the Soviet Union it was greatly discouraged as a result of the official atheism of the former former regime. It is coming back in Russia and continues to be popular in Ukraine.

The main attribute of Holy Meal in Ukraine is kutia, a sweet grain pudding. The other typical dishes are borscht, Varenyky, a traditional Christmas compote called uzvar and dishes made of fish, phaseolus and cabbage.

In accordance with the Christmas traditions of the Serbs, their festive meal has a copious and diverse selection of foods, although it is prepared according to the rules of fasting. As well as a round, unleavened loaf of bread and salt, which are necessary, this meal may comprise roast fish, cooked beans, sauerkraut, noodles with ground walnuts, honey, and wine.

In Bulgaria, the meal consists of an odd number of lenten dishes in compliance with the rules of fasting. They are usually the traditional sarma, bob chorba (bean soup), fortune pita (pastry with a fortune in it), stuffed peppers, nuts.[17] The meal is often accompanied with wine or Bulgaria's traditional alcoholic beverage rakia.

While other Christian families throughout the world celebrate the Christmas Eve meal with various meats, Italians and Sicilians celebrate the traditional Catholic "Feast of the Seven Fishes"[18] which was historically served after a 24 hour fasting period. Although pre-Christmas fasting is not a popular custom still practiced, Italian-Americans still enjoy meatless Christmas Eve feast[19] and attend the Midnight Mass.

In various cultures, a festive dinner is traditionally served for the family and close friends in attendance, when the first star (usually Sirius) arrives on the sky.

Families in some Slavic countries reserve a place for guests (alluding to Mary and Joseph looking for shelter in Bethlehem).

Gift giving
Christmas presents sit underneath a Christmas tree. Many trace the custom of giving gifts to one another to the Magi who brought gifts for the Christ child in the manger.

During the Reformation in 16th–17th century Europe, many Protestants changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, and the date of giving gifts changed from December 6 to Christmas Eve.[20] It is the night when Santa Claus makes his rounds delivering gifts to good children.

In the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Croatia and Hungary, where St. Nicholas (sv. Mikuláš/szent Mikulás) gives his sweet gifts on December 6, the Christmas gift-giver is the Child Jesus (Ježíšek in Czech, Jézuska in Hungarian, Ježiško in Slovak and Isusek in Croatian).[21]

In most parts of Germany, Austria, and Switzerland, presents are traditionally exchanged in the evening of December 24. Children are commonly told that presents were brought either by the Christkind (German for: Christchild),[22] or the Weihnachtsmann (German name of Santa Claus). Both leave the gifts, but are in most families not seen doing so.

In Finland, Joulupukki, and in Sweden Jultomten, personally meets children and gives presents in the evening of Christmas Eve.[23][24]

In Netherlands, Argentina, Austria, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, Germany, Hungary, Slovakia, Iceland, Latvia, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Quebec, Romania, Uruguay, and Sweden, Christmas presents are opened mostly on the evening of the 24th, – this is also the tradition among the British Royal Family, due to their mainly German ancestry[25] – while in Italy, the United States, the United Kingdom, Ireland, English Canada, South Africa, New Zealand and Australia, this occurs mostly on the morning of Christmas Day.

In other Latin American countries, people stay awake until midnight, when they open the presents.

In Spain, gifts are traditionally opened on the morning of January 6, Epiphany day ("Día de Los Tres Reyes Magos"),[26] though in some other countries, like Argentina and Uruguay, people receive presents both around Christmas and on the morning of Epiphany day.

In the Netherlands they also celebrate Sinterklaas on December 5.[27]

Christmas Eve around the world

Christmas Eve is celebrated in different ways around the world, varying by country and region. Elements common to many areas of the world include the attendance of special religious observances such as a midnight Mass or Vespers, and the giving and receiving of presents. Along with Easter, Christmastime is one of the most important periods on the Christian calendar, and is often closely connected to other holidays at this time of year, such as Advent, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, St. Nicholas Day, St. Stephen's Day, New Year's, and the Feast of the Epiphany.
For more details on Christmas Eve traditions around the world, see Christmas worldwide.
Jewish traditions on Christmas Eve

The significant amount of vacation travel, and travel back to family homes, means that Christmas Eve is also frequently linked to social events and parties, worldwide.[28][29][30][31][32] Due to the family gathering and religious worship activities that are central to Christmas Eve for Christians but which Jews do not typically engage in,[33] a series of events on the night of December 24 have been made available to Jews in various regions of the world.[34] Matzo Ball events and parties are an option for single Jews. Jews in interfaith relationships may prefer to participate in Chrismukkah events and parties. However, Jewish people are invited to Christmas Eve parties and plenty will attend, and some host Christmas Eve parties for others.

Christmas truce

A cross, left near Ypres in Belgium in 1999, to commemorate the site of the 1914 Christmas Truce. The text reads 1914—The Khaki Chum's Christmas Truce—85 Years—Lest We Forget.

During World War I in 1914 and 1915 an unofficial Christmas truce took place, particularly that between British and German troops. The truce began on Christmas Eve, December 24, 1914, when German troops began decorating the area around their trenches in the region of Ypres, Belgium, for Christmas. They began by placing candles on trees, then continued the celebration by singing Christmas carols, most notably Stille Nacht (Silent Night). The British troops in the trenches across from them responded by singing English carols. The two sides shouted Christmas greetings to each other. Soon thereafter, there were calls for visits across the "No man's land" where small gifts were exchanged. The truce also allowed a breathing spell where recently fallen soldiers could be brought back behind their lines by burial parties. Funerals took place as soldiers from both sides mourned the dead together and paid their respects. At one funeral in No Man's Land, soldiers from both sides gathered and read a passage from Psalm 23. The truce occurred in spite of opposition at higher levels of the military command. Earlier in the autumn, a call by Pope Benedict XV for an official truce between the warring governments had been ignored.

Apollo 8 reading from Genesis

Main article: Apollo 8 Genesis reading

On December 24, 1968, in what was the most watched television broadcast to that date, the astronauts Bill Anders, Jim Lovell and Frank Borman of Apollo 8 surprised the world with a reading of the Creation from the Book of Genesis as they orbited the moon. Madalyn Murray O'Hair, an atheist activist, filed a lawsuit under the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment. The suit was dismissed by the US Supreme Court.

In 1969, the United States Postal Service issued a stamp (Scott # 1371) commemorating the Apollo 8 flight around the moon. The stamp featured a detail of the famous photograph of the Earthrise over the moon (NASA image AS8-14-2383HR) taken by Anders on Christmas Eve, and the words, "In the beginning God..."

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Where Did The Tradition of Coal in the Christmas Stocking Come From?

It started in Holland. When a child was bad they got a lump of coal, but if they were good they got a small toy, cookies or candy.

There was a pervasive belief in the mid 19th century that if you were poor it was because you or your ancestors did bad things. They were poor because God was punishing them.

Most of England and Europe was powered by coal. Most household furnaces were coal burning. They would take coal and put it in pans under the bed to stay warm at night. So coal had value. If you were a poor kid, you were lucky to get coal that you could use to keep yourself warm on cold winter nights. The rich had nice warm houses and lots of goodies in their stockings but the poor, who were so as punishment from God for being bad were lucky to get coal.

There are so many versions of the story, but the general idea is that St. Nicholas crept down the chimney of a poor families home to give money to a man to use as dowry for his three daughters so that they could be married. They each had stockings laid out by the fire to dry, so he left the bags of gold inside them. The stocking tradition came from this story, that if you're a good, deserving child, St. Nicholas will put good things in your stocking. If you're a bad, naughty child, he will simply reach down into the fire place and grab a lump of coal, as a warning for you to behave in the upcoming year.

In Italy, there is a rock candy called Carbone Dolce, it looks just like coal and parents often put this in children's stocking as a joke. In the USA, there is a gum that comes in chunks that look like coal and is sold in tiny burlap sacks labeled "Santa's Coal".

Some mothers put some sort of lump of coal in the bottom of Christmas stockings so after the child receives all the toys and candy they would eventually get to the coal, to remind them that they were sometimes bad.

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RECIPES:

Poached Pears in Red Wine Sauce

Crisp pears are take on a rosy glow poached in lightly sweetened red wine. Teased with a bit of lemon and lime these pears make the perfect autumn dessert.

Serves: Varies
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: Varies
   
6 pears
1/2 cup white granulated sugar
2 cup red wine
1 cinnamon sticks
1 lemon peel
1 tablespoon Lemon juice
1 lime for zests

PLACE peeled pears in medium saucepan.

SPRINKLE sugar over pears and cover with red wine.

ADD fresh lemon peel and cinnamon stick.

SIMMER pears over low heat until tender, approximately 10-15 minutes.

REMOVE from heat and add lemon juice.

LET pears cool in own juice. (Juice can be thickened slightly with corn starch if desired)

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Spinach Swiss Pie

This egg dish has a wonderful flavor from the nutmeg, which

combines well with the Swiss cheese. Every time I've served it, it's

been well received.

    Prep: 15 min. Bake: 45 min.
    Yield: 6-8 Servings

Ingredients

    1 package (10 ounces) frozen chopped spinach
    1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Swiss cheese
    2 tablespoons chopped onion
    1-1/2 cups milk
    3 eggs
    3/4 cup biscuit/baking mix
    1 teaspoon salt
    1/4 teaspoon pepper
    1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Directions

    Cook spinach according to package directions; drain well. In a

bowl, combine cheese, onion and spinach. Transfer to a greased 9-

in. pie plate.
    In a blender, combine milk, eggs, biscuit mix, salt, pepper and

nutmeg; cover and process until smooth. Pour over spinach

mixture.
    Bake at 350° for 45-50 minutes or until a knife inserted near

the center comes out clean. Yield: 6-8 servings.

Nutritional Facts 1 serving (1 piece) equals 163 calories, 9 g fat

(4 g saturated fat), 98 mg cholesterol, 544 mg sodium, 11 g

carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 10 g protein.

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Shrimp & Corn Chowder with Sun-Dried Tomatoes

Creamy potato soup is dressed up with shrimp, corn and sun-dried tomatoes.  This chowder is dressy enough for company, but easy enough for weeknights too.

Serves: 4 servings (about 1 1/3 cups each)
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes   
     
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Potato Soup
1 1/2 cups half-and-half
2 cups whole kernel corn
2 tablespoons sun-dried tomatoes cut into strips
1 cup small or medium peeled and deveined cooked shrimp
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives
cayenne pepper or ground black pepper

Heat the soup, half-and-half, corn and tomatoes in a 3-quart saucepan over medium heat to a boil.  Reduce the heat to low.  Cook for 10 minutes.
Stir in the shrimp and chives and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling.  Season with the black pepper.

Notes: Nutritional Values per Serving using Campbell's Cream of Potato Soup: Calories 285, Total Fat 13g, Saturated Fat 7g, Cholesterol 105mg, Sodium 645mg, Total Carbohydrate 31g, Dietary Fiber 3g, Protein 14g, Vitamin A 13%DV, Vitamin C 14%DV, Calcium 12%DV, Iron 10%DV

Tips: Tip: For a lighter version, use skim milk instead of the half-and-half.

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Curried Chicken Spread

Chunk chicken, chopped apple, chutney and peanuts are bound with a curry-laced mayonnaise.

Serves: 10 servings (2 tablespoons each)
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time:
         
3 tablespoons nonfat mayonnaise
3 tablespoons chutney
1/4 teaspoon curry powder
1 can (4.5 ounces) Swanson® Premium White Chunk Chicken Breast in Water, drained
1/2 cup chopped Granny Smith apple
1 tablespoon chopped, unsalted dry roasted peanut

Stir the mayonnaise, chutney, curry powder, chicken, apple and peanuts in a small bowl.

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Tuna Noodle Casserole

This comforting and reliable classic features tuna, egg noodles, cream of mushroom soup and peas, topped with a crunchy bread crumb topping - it's just delicious!

Serves: 4 servings (about 1 1/4 cups each)
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes
   
 
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons chopped pimiento (optional)
1 cup Birds Eye® Sweet Garden Peas
2 cans (about 5 ounces each) tuna, drained
1/4 of a 12-ounce package medium egg noodles (about 2 cups), cooked and drained
2 tablespoons plain dry bread crumbs
1 tablespoon butter, melted

Heat the oven to 400°F.  Stir the soup, milk, pimientos, if desired, peas, tuna and noodles in a 1 1/2-quart casserole.  Stir the bread crumbs and butter in a small bowl.
Bake the tuna mixture for 20 minutes or until hot and bubbling.  Stir the tuna mixture.  Sprinkle with the bread crumb mixture.

Bake for 5 minutes or until the bread crumb mixture is golden brown.
For a crunchy, flavorful onion topping, substitute 1 can (2.8 ounces) French's® French Fried Onions (about 1 1/3 cups), crushed, for the bread crumbs and butter.

For a flavor twist, try using Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Celery Soup instead of the Cream of Mushroom.
For Chicken Noodle Casserole, substitute 2 cups cubed cooked chicken for the tuna.

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Chili Con Queso Bites

The Southwestern-inspired flavors of Pace® Picante Sauce

combined with Cheddar cheese and chili powder create these

delicious appetizers.

Serves: 24 pieces
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes

4 eggs
1/2 cup Pace® Picante Sauce
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons chili powder
6 ounces shredded Cheddar cheese (about 1 1/2 cups)
1 green onion, chopped (about 2 tablespoons)

Heat the oven to 400°F. Lightly grease 24 (3-inch) muffin-pan

cups.
Beat the eggs, picante sauce, flour and chili powder in a medium

bowl with a fork or whisk. Stir in the cheese and onion.
Spoon about 1 tablespoon cheese mixture into each muffin-pan

cup. Bake for 10 minutes or until the bites are golden brown.

Serve warm or at room temperature with additional picante sauce.

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JOKES:

Don't lie to Mom

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Lesson of the day...Don't Lie To Your Mother.

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Christmas Eve

A man is about to jump off London Bridge when he hears a voice behind him. It's Santa Claus.
"Why do this? It's Christmas Eve?" Santa says.
"Because I've lost my job, " the man answered, " my wife has left me, and I have no presents for the kids."
"Ah, I can grant you 3 wishes, " replied Santa, "So when you get up tomorrow your job will be there, your wife will be waiting for you, and there'll be presents for the children."
"Oh Santa - however can I repay you?" gasped the man.
"Well - not a lot of people know this, " came the reply, "But old Santa is gay, you could bend over for me, the elves aren't much good at it."
"Dunno 'bout that, " the man said.
"Oh, go on, " Santa urged, "After all - I granted you 3 wishes, don't be so ungrateful."
"Ok, " the man sighed, as he unzipped his trousers.
Santa did the biz and when he finished the man pulled his trousers back up.
Santa looks at the man and asks "How old are you?"
"47, " came the reply.
"What? And you still believe in Santa Claus?"

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Funny Christmas Jokes and One-liners

1) Angels
Bert, aged 25.  'My wife's an angel'.
Don, aged 57.  'Your lucky, mine is still alive'.Christmas Mistletoe

2) Christmas Kiss
Romeo: What would it take to make you kiss me under the mistletoe?
Juliette: An anaesthetic.

3) Christmas Drink
A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre ......
So the barman gives her one.

4) Christmas Pudding Charms
Silver Christmas charms bring you good fortune.
Packaging Notice: Potential choking hazard: do not use with food.

5) How Was Your Christmas Meal?
We had grandma for Christmas dinner.
Really?

We had turkey. Funny Christmas Jokes

6) Reindeer Joke
What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
This will sleigh you.

7) Sales
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
Handmade gifts for that hard-to-find person.

8) Christmas Joke Pizza
Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza.
The salesgirl asked him:-
'Do you want your usual?  Deep pan, crisp and even?'

9) Mike walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The barmaid looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.

    'Tiny', answers Mike.
   'Why's that?' enquires the barmaid.
   'Because he's my newt' concludes Mike. 
    (Will had to explain this riddle to me.  My newt - minute)

10) Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present! 

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1. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

2. What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
Santa Clues!

3. What did one snowman say to the other?
Can you smell carrot?

4. Which elf was the best singer?
ELFis Presley.

5. What is the popular carol in the desert?
Camel ye Faithful.

6. How do you make an idiot laugh on Boxing Day?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve

7. Who is the rudest of Santa’s friends?
"Rude"-olph

8. Name a kid’s favorite Christmas king?
A stocking.

9. Why was Cinderella a poor football player?
She used to run away from the ball.

10. What did the big cracker say to the small cracker on Christmas Eve?
My pop is bigger than yours!

11. Name someone who is never hungry during the whole of Christmas?
The turkey- because it’s stuffed.

12. What if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus !

13. Ever heard of a stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas!

14. What do you call a polar bear who wears ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!

15. How do you make Santa run at a Christmas party?
Invite an angry bull.

16. What’s Santa’s mood like?
Santamental.

17. How do snowmen greet each other?
Ice to meet you!

18. What kind of music do elves like best?
"Wrap" music!

19. What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail!

20. How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"

21. What’s a popular name for a snowman in the summer?
A puddle.

22. What’s the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!

23. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-"deer"!

24. Why did the elves ask the turkey to join their band?
Because he had the drum sticks!

25. What Mexican food dose a snowman like?
Brrrr- itos.

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Is there a Santa Claus? - a physicist view


Consider the following:

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that 'flying reindeer' (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.

We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

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The Office Party

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."

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Today, God’s message for you is that He knows you intimately. He knows of your desires and struggles. He knows of your thoughts and secrets. He knows of your joys and pains. He knows of your needs. He loves you for who you are. 

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tidbits, Etc

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REMINDER FROM GOD:

  Jeremiah 7:22-23

(22) For I did not speak to your fathers, or command them in the day that I brought them out of the land of Egypt, concerning burnt offerings or sacrifices. (23) But this is what I commanded them, saying, "Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be My people. And walk in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well with you."


Jeremiah says that God never commanded offerings and sacrifices when the Old Covenant was made! He is talking about the generation to whom God gave His law and with whom He made the Old Covenant. It is easily understood why no other sacrifices are given in the Old Covenant except for the Passover (see Exodus 23:18). God does not mention them because He did not require them under the terms of the Old Covenant. All He wanted Israel to do was to keep the Ten Commandments, the statutes, and the judgments that He had already given to them with one exception--the Passover, the only sacrifice that He required!

This is one reason why the New Covenant did not perpetuate the other sacrifices, even though the Old Covenant became obsolete: The sacrifices were never a part of it in the first place. In terms of Passover, the symbols changed to bread and wine, but we still keep it.

There are three reasons why true Christians keep Passover even though it is also part of the Old Covenant. First, like the Ten Commandments, they preceded the making of the Old Covenant. Passover was commanded in Exodus 12, enforced, and practiced before Israel ever got to Mt. Sinai. Second, it is commanded in the New Testament and shown by the example of Christ and the apostles. Third, Passover is included within the statutes of God as a corollary of the fourth commandment. It is a festival and therefore to be kept.

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WORD FOR THE DAY:


wreath
Show IPA noun, plural wreaths [reeth?z, reeths] Show IPA , verb.
noun
1.  a circular band of flowers, foliage, or any ornamental work, for adorning the head or for any decorative purpose; a garland or chaplet.
2.  any ringlike, curving, or curling mass or formation: a wreath of clouds.
3.
a. curved section of a handrail.
b.Also called wreath·piece. a curved section of a string.

 verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
4.  to wreathe.

 Origin:
before 1000; Middle English wrethe, Old English writha  something wound or coiled; akin to writhe

Related forms
wreath·like, adjective.

Can be confused: wraith, wreath, wreathe, writhe.

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Christmas wreaths - origins

In ancient Rome, people used decorative wreaths as a sign of victory. Some believe that this isChristmas wreath where the hanging of wreaths on doors came from.

The origins of the Advent wreath are found in the folk practices of the pre-Christian Germanic peoples who, during the cold December darkness of Eastern Europe, gathered wreaths of evergreen and lighted fires as signs of hope in a coming spring and renewed light. Christians kept these popular traditions alive, and by the 16th century Catholics and Protestants throughout Germany used these symbols to celebrate their Advent hope in Christ, the everlasting Light. From Germany the use of the Advent wreath spread to other parts of the Christian world. Traditionally, the wreath is made of four candles in a circle of evergreens with a fifth candle in the middle. Three candles are violet and the fourth is rose, but four white candles or four violet candles can also be used. Each day at home, the candles are lighted, perhaps before the evening meal-- one candle the first week, and then another each succeeding week until December 25th. A short prayer may accompany the lighting of each candle. The last candle is the middle candle. The lighting of this candle takes place on Christmas Eve. It represents Jesus Christ being born.
 
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 Today's Tips

 Easy Clean Your Sticky Bakeware
         
Holiday candy making and baking can create a sticky mess on your bakeware. To loosen food stuck on an enamel pot, mix 2 tablespoons of baking soda with 2 cups of water, bring it to a boil and let it boil for 10 minutes. Once the water cools down, scrape off the food and wash the pot. For an enamel baking dish, add the baking soda mixture to the sticky bakeware and microwave for 2 minutes. (Or, if the pan is too big for your microwave, sprinkle the pan with the baking soda and add boiling water.) Let the pan sit for a couple hours and the burnt-on food should come off easy as pie.

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Painter’s Tape Replacement in a Flash
         
If you need to paint your guest room (or bathroom or wherever) and you don’t have any painter’s tape available, then—as temporary protection when painting—rub a candle around the edges of a masking tape roll. Make sure you keep the wax on the outside edges so that the tape stays mostly sticky. The tape will be easier to remove, thanks to the candle wax, and it will also reduce the chance of the tape taking off old paint when you strip it off the wall.

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Don’t Let Blondes Have All the Fun
         
Add luster to your natural brown or red hair. Here’s a simple rinse for brunettes and redheads. After shampooing, rinse your hair with 1 cup of cool, brewed black coffee, and then rinse with plain water.

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 Pump Up Your Vacuum Power
          
Wipe the brushes of your unplugged vacuum cleaner with a wet paper towel before you vacuum a carpet. It will help heighten its dirt-sucking power.

Also, change your dust bag more often than not. While it may cost a little more, you want to replace a bag that’s just about ? full to avoid having the dust spill back out into the room that you are supposedly cleaning. Check it every three or four times you vacuum. (For bagless canister models, check them every other time the vacuum is used.)

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RECIPES:

Tuscan Pork Stew

Tender chunks of pork slowly cook in a nicely seasoned, wine-infused sauce. Add some crushed red pepper flakes for a little added kick.


    Prep: 15 min. Cook: 8-1/2 hours
    Yield: 8 Servings

Ingredients

    1 boneless whole pork loin roast (1-1/2 pounds), cut into 1-inch cubes
    2 tablespoons olive oil
    2 cans (14-1/2 ounces each) Italian diced tomatoes, undrained
    2 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
    2 cups frozen pepper stir-fry vegetable blend, thawed
    1/2 cup dry red wine or additional reduced-sodium chicken broth
    1/4 cup orange marmalade
    2 garlic cloves, minced
    1 teaspoon dried oregano
    1/2 teaspoon fennel seed
    1/2 teaspoon pepper
    1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes, optional
    2 tablespoons cornstarch
    2 tablespoons cold water
    Hot cooked fettuccine, optional

Directions

    In a large skillet, brown pork in oil until no longer pink; drain. Transfer to a 5-qt. slow cooker.
    In a large bowl, combine the tomatoes, broth, vegetable blend, wine, marmalade, garlic, oregano, fennel seed, pepper and pepper flakes if desired; pour over pork. Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours or until meat is tender.
    Combine cornstarch and water until smooth; gradually stir into stew. Cover and cook on high for 30 minutes or until gravy is thickened. Serve with fettuccine if desired. Yield: 8 servings.

Nutritional Facts 1 cup (calculated without fettuccine) equals 232 calories, 7 g fat (2 g saturated fat), 42 mg cholesterol, 614 mg sodium, 19 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 19 g protein. Diabetic Exchanges: 2 lean meat, 1 starch, 1 veg

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Chocolate-Filled Crescents
   
Active Time:  5 Minutes
Total Time:  25 Minutes
Yield:  8

A decadent dessert with only 2 ingredients? It's a Crescent wow!

 INGREDIENTS
1 can (8 oz) Pillsbury® refrigerated crescent dinner rolls
1/2 cup mini-chocolate chips
Powdered sugar, if desired

DIRECTIONS
Heat oven to 350°F. Separate dough into 8 triangles.

Place tablespoon of chocolate chips on wide end of each triangle. Roll up, starting at shortest side of triangle, rolling to opposite point. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake at 350°F. for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown. Sprinkle with powdered sugar.

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 Make-Ahead Cheesy Bacon Mini Meatloaves

Keep these in the freezer for a fast, home-cooked solution to mealtime emergencies. Just pop individually wrapped servings in the oven as needed for on-the-spot dinnertime.

time
prep:  10 min

total:  55 min

servings
total:  6 servings

    What You Need
    2     eggs
    3/4    cup  milk
    1-1/2    lb.  lean ground beef
    1    pkg.  (6 oz.) STOVE TOP Stuffing Mix for Chicken
    3/4    cup  KRAFT Mexican Style Finely Shredded Four Cheese
    1/3    cup  KRAFT Original Barbecue Sauce
    3     green onions, sliced
    6    slices  OSCAR MAYER Bacon
   
Make It

    WHISK eggs and milk in large bowl until blended. Add all remaining ingredients except bacon; mix lightly. Shape into 6 (1-inch-thick) patties; wrap bacon slice around edge of each patty.

    WRAP individually in plastic wrap; place in freezer-weight resealable plastic bag. Seal bag. Freeze up to 3 months.

    HEAT oven to 375ºF. Unwrap frozen patties; place on rimmed baking sheet sprayed with cooking spray. Bake 40 to 45 min. or until done (160ºF).
  
 Kraft Kitchens Tips
    Healthy Living
    Save 60 calories and 6g of fat, including 3g of saturated fat, per serving by preparing with fat-free milk, extra-lean ground beef, KRAFT Mexican Style 2% Milk Finely Shredded Four Cheese and OSCAR MAYER Turkey Bacon.
  
 Serving Suggestion
    Serve with roasted new potatoes and hot steamed green beans.
  
 Variation
    Frozen meatloaves can be thawed overnight in refrigerator before baking. When ready to serve, heat oven to 375ºF. Place meatloaves on rimmed baking sheet sprayed with cooking spray. Bake 35 min. or until done (160ºF).

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Triple-Layer Peanut Butter Brownies

Elevate brownies (in both senses of the word!) with layers of chewy and creamy. Chocolate plus peanut butter plus creamy frosting means a tall stack of yum.

time
prep:  15 min
total:  2 hr 15 min
servings
total:  32 servings

    What You Need
    1    pkg.  (19 to 21 oz.) brownie mix (13x9-inch pan size)
    1    pkg.  (3.4 oz.) JELL-O Vanilla Flavor Instant Pudding
    1    cup  cold milk
    1    cup  PLANTERS Creamy Peanut Butter
    1/2    cup  powdered sugar
    1-1/2    cups  COOL WHIP Whipped Topping (Do not thaw.)
    3    oz.  BAKER'S Semi-Sweet Chocolate
    1/2    cup  PLANTERS Dry Roasted Peanuts, coarsely chopped
   
Make It

    PREPARE and bake brownies in 13x9-inch pan as directed on package; cool. Meanwhile, beat pudding mix and milk with whisk 2 min. Add peanut butter and sugar; mix well. Refrigerate until brownies are completely cooled.
    SPREAD over brownies.
    MICROWAVE COOL WHIP and chocolate in microwaveable bowl on HIGH 1 min., stirring every 30 sec. Spread over pudding; top with nuts. Refrigerate 1 hour.
   
Kraft Kitchens Tips
 
  Substitute
    Prepare using JELL-O White Chocolate Flavor Instant Pudding.

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 Mile-High Peanut Butter Pie

What's better than layer upon layer of creamy, chocolaty, peanut buttery heaven? You get all that here, plus more warm chocolate and PB drizzled on top.

time
prep:  15 min
total:  3 hr 40 min
servings
total:  12 servings

    What You Need
    35     NILLA Wafers, finely crushed (about 1 cup)
    1/4    cup  butter, melted
    1    pkg.  (3.9 oz.) JELL-O Chocolate Instant Pudding
    2    cups  cold milk, divided
    4    oz.  (1/2 of 8-oz. pkg.) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened
    1    pkg.  (3.4 oz.) JELL-O Vanilla Flavor Instant Pudding
    1/2    cup  PLANTERS Creamy Peanut Butter, divided
    2    cups  thawed COOL WHIP Whipped Topping, divided
    1/2    oz.  BAKER'S Semi-Sweet Chocolate
 
   Make It

    HEAT oven to 375ºF.
    MIX wafer crumbs and butter until blended; press onto bottom and up side of 9-inch pie plate. Bake 10 min.; cool.
    BEAT chocolate pudding mix and 1 cup milk with whisk 2 min. (Pudding will be thick.) Spread onto bottom of crust. Gradually add remaining milk to cream cheese in large bowl with mixer until blended. Add vanilla pudding mix; beat 2 min. Reserve 1 Tbsp. peanut butter. Add remaining to vanilla pudding mixture; beat until blended. Stir in 1 cup COOL WHIP. Spread over chocolate pudding layer to within 1 inch of edge. Spoon remaining COOL WHIP onto center of pie.
    REFRIGERATE 3 hours. When ready to serve, microwave remaining peanut butter in microwaveable bowl on HIGH 15 sec. or until melted. Melt chocolate as directed on package. Drizzle peanut butter and chocolate over pie.
 
   Kraft Kitchens Tips
 
  Healthy Living
    Good news! You'll save 80 calories and 6g of total fat, including 3g of saturated fat, per serving by preparing with Reduced Fat NILLA Wafers, JELL-O Fat Free Sugar Free Puddings, fat-free milk, PHILADELPHIA Neufchatel Cheese, reduced-fat peanut butter and COOL WHIP LITE Whipped Topping.
 
  Substitute
    Substitute JELL-O White Chocolate Flavor Instant Pudding for the vanilla pudding.
 
 Peanut Butter Trifle
    Do not crush wafers. Place half the wafers in 1-1/2-qt. bowl. Prepare pudding mixtures as directed; spoon in layers over wafers. Top with remaining wafers and COOL WHIP; drizzle with peanut butter and melted chocolate.

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Parrots as First Pets
 

The White House may have been home to some of
the greatest men in history, but it has also been
home to many parrots. The birds are intelligent and
full of character; is it a surprise that many presidents
found them to be kindred creatures?
 

      In George Washington's case, the kinship was
    non-existent, and it was actually the First Lady
    who cared for Polly the Parrot. George and Polly
    were sworn enemies, in fact.

    Another First Lady, Dolly Madison, had a green
    parrot that was rescued from the White House
    fire of 1812.

    Andrew Jackson had a foul-mouthed parrot
    named Pol that spewed out profanity in both
    English and in Spanish. Word has it that it let out a
    long string of epithets during its master's funeral.

    As for the Grants, it was the first son who brought a
    pet parrot to the White House.

    William McKinley was master to a Double Yellow Amazon
    he cutely called Washington Post.

    Teddy Roosevelt had a fondness for Macaws. He
    owned a Blue & Gold as well as a Hyacinth.

    JFK kept parakeets – no, it's not a euphemism for
    anything – called Bluebell and Marybelle.

    Lyndon B. Johnson took care of lovebirds.
    

Other than parrots, the White House has also been home
to other companion birds such as mockingbirds and canaries.

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 Surround Yourself with Citrus
         
Studies have shown that workers exposed to the smell of lemon made 50% fewer errors. So when accuracy counts at work or at school, surround yourself with a citrus scent. Suck on a lemon drop, or put a couple drops of lemon oil on a cotton ball and put it in your workspace.

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JOKES:

Signs of Christmas Everywhere

Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."

Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."

Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."

At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale.
Come in and mangle with the crowd."

A Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras -- $70,000.
Three for $200,000.

A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."

In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything...
a calendar to remind him when payments are due."

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A Sign of the Times

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

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Christmas Fireman

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed   great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature  bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.  Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said
"See, it says right here,  'The three wise man came from afar.'"

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The 12 Nights of Christmas;
for the Scrooge in Thee

Chorus: The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is
ONE: Finding a Christmas tree.
****

TWO
----
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is my
: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


THREE
------
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Inebriated man]: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


FOUR
-----
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Frustrated man]: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

FIVE
-----
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


SIX
---
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Frustrated wife]: Facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up these lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.
****

SEVEN
------
The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Angry man]: The Salvation Army,
6: Facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez!
2: I'm trying to rig up these lights!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


EIGHT
-----
The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Loud kid]: I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!
7: Charities
6: And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Oh, making out these cards,
3: Edith, get me a beer, huh?
2: What? We have no extension cords?!?
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.
****

NINE
----
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Another frustrated man]: No parking spaces, 8: DADDY, I WANT SOME
CANDY!!
7: Donations!
6: Facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Writing out those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!?
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

TEN
----
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Toy-commercial voice]: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!!
7: Get a job, ya bum!!!
6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez, look at this!
2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

ELEVEN
-------
The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[TV Critic]: Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!
7: Charities!!
6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper?
2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


TWELVE
------
The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[A few guys]: Singing Christmas Carols,
11: Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking?
8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
7: Charities!
6: Gotta make 'em dinner!
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it!
3: Shut up, you!
2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers,
'Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs:
In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,
'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?.
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
'Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes - the tree is dead and the balls are just for decoration.'

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Today, God's message for you is that you should strive daily to be the change you want to see in the world. Remember that your example affects those around you. Like water over rocks, the changes may not be visible from day to day, but one day you will see the cumulative effect and it will be beautiful.

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tidbits, Etc

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REMINDER FROM GOD:

Enthusiasm

"And a certain Jew named Apollos … being fervent in spirit spoke and taught diligently the things of the Lord … who, when he was come, helped the believers greatly."1

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Every great and commanding moment in the annals of the world is the triumph of some enthusiasm."

Enthusiasm is a wonderful gift but the type that doesn't have deep roots can, when the trials of life seem overpowering, quickly fizzle out.

There's another kind of enthusiasm that can survive the deepest trials of life and motivate great souls to soar above the winds of adversity to achieve noble and worthwhile goals.

The word "enthusiasm" itself comes from "en-theos." "En" meaning "in" and "theos" meaning God. The word literally means "in God" or "inspired of God."

Thus true enthusiasm is that which has its roots not in human inspiration but in God. This enthusiasm is available to all who genuinely want it when they seek God and his will for their life with all their heart.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be so committed to you that I will find 'the great enthusiasm of life' that has its roots in you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Acts 18:24-27 (Paraphrase) (NLT).

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WORD FOR THE DAY:

i·ci·cle  (s-kl)
n.
1. A tapering spike of ice formed by the freezing of dripping or falling water.
2. Informal An aloof or emotionally unresponsive person.
[Middle English isikel : is, ice; see ice + ikel, icicle (from Old English gicel; see yeg- in Indo-European roots).]


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Mistletoe

Description

Mistletoe is a parasitic evergreen plant that lives on trees such as oaks, elms, firs, pines, apples, and elms. The parasitic plant has yellowish flowers; small, yellowish green leaves; and waxy, white berries. There are many species of this plant in the Viscacea and Loranthacea plant families. European mistletoe (Viscum album) and American mistletoe (Phoradendron leucarpum) are used as medical remedies. In addition to Europe and North America, mistletoe is also found in Australia and Korea.

Mistletoe berries are poisonous to cats and other small animals. There is, however, some debate about how toxic the berries are to humans, and there is controversy about whether it is safe to use mistletoe as a remedy. Mistletoe is also known as mystyldene, all-heal, bird lime, golden bough, and devil's fuge.

General use

Mistletoe is known popularly as the plant sprig that people kiss beneath during the Christmas season. That custom dates back to pagan times when, according to legend, the plant was thought to inspire passion and increase fertility.

In the centuries since then, mistletoe has acquired a reputation as a nearly all-purpose herbal remedy. In the seventeenth century, French herbalists prescribed mistletoe for nervous disorders, epilepsy, and the spasms known as the St. Vitus dance.

Mistletoe has also been used in folk medicine as a digestive aid, heart tonic, and sedative. It was used to treat arthritis, hysteria and other mental disturbances, amenorrhea, wounds, asthma, bed wetting, infection, and to stimulate glands.

For centuries, mistletoe also served as a folk medicine treatment for cancer, and the plant is currently used in Europe to treat tumors. Iscador is an extract of the European mistletoe plant that is said to stimulate the immune system and kill cancer cells. It reportedly reduces the size of tumors and improves the quality of life. One team of researchers in France has found evidence that mistletoe extracts increase the efficiency of the body's natural killer cells in destroying cancer cells. A German study published in 2002 indicates that Iscador does indeed inhibit tumor growth. Another recent German case study of an 80-year-old woman with metastasized breast cancer documented that the patient lived for 41 months after first being given Iscador, with good quality of life. Iscador is one brand name of the mistletoe extract in Europe, and other brand names include Helixor and Eurixor.

Other contemporary uses of mistletoe include treatment of rheumatism, anxiety, migraine headaches, dizziness, high blood pressure, relief of spasms, asthma, rapid heartbeat, diarrhea, hysteria, and amenorrhea. Research continues on the use of mistletoe to treat AIDS patients.

There are some differences among the species. American mistletoe is said to cause a rise in blood pressure, while its European counterpart is believed to lower blood pressure.

Although mistletoe appears to be a multipurpose remedy, there is disagreement among medical experts about the safety and effectiveness of this herb. The number of possible interactions with other medications described below indicates that mistletoe should be used with caution.

Preparations

In alternative medicine, the leaves, twigs, and sometimes the berries of mistletoe are used. In Europe, mistletoe remedies range from tea made from mistletoe leaves to injections of Iscador. While European research indicates that mistletoe is safe and effective, sources in the United States maintain that the berries are poisonous and that the herb can cause liver damage.

Since mistletoe has not been tested by the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA), many experts urge caution until more research is completed. European research includes work completed by Germany's Commission E, a governmental agency that studies herbal remedies for approval as over-the-counter drugs. An English version of the German Commission E monographs was published in 1997 and was the basis for the 1998 PDR (Physicians'Desk Reference) for Herbal Medicines.
Home remedies

Mistletoe tea may be taken for high blood pressure, asthma, epilepsy, nervousness, diarrhea, hysteria, whooping cough, amenorrhea, vertiginous attacks, and chorea. The tea is prepared by adding 1 tsp (5 g) of finely cut mistletoe to 1 cup (250 ml) of cold water. The solution is steeped at room temperature for 12 hours and then strained. Up to 12 cups of tea may be consumed each day.

Mistletoe wine is prepared by mixing 8 tsp (40 g) of the herb into 34 oz (1 L) of wine. After three days, the wine can be consumed. Three to four glasses of medicinal wine may be consumed each day.

Mistletoe must be stored away from light and kept above a drying agent.
Cancer treatment

Iscador, the European extract, may be injected before surgery for cancers of the cervix, ovary, breast, stomach, colon, and lung. Cancer treatments can take several months to several years. The treatment is given by subcutaneous injection, preferably near the tumor. Iscador may be injected into the tumor, especially tumors of the liver, cervix, or esophagus.

The dosage of Iscador varies according to the patient's age, sex, physical condition, and type of cancer. The treatment usually is given in the morning three to seven days per week. As treatment continues, the dosage may be increased or adjusted.

European cancer research has been conducted since the 1960s, and most has involved European mistletoe. However, researchers believe there may be some similar active components in other species. In the United States, some cancer patients may qualify for participation in clinical trials of Iscador.

Advocates of Iscador believe it can stimulate the immune system, kill cancer cells, inhibit the formation of tumors, and extend the survival time of cancer patients. They maintain that mistletoe can help prevent cancer and serve as companion therapy for standard cancer treatments. They also think that mistletoe could possibly repair the DNA that is decreased by chemotherapy and radiation.

In general, however, American researchers are skeptical about European claims regarding mistletoe as an effective cancer remedy. The latest information summary on mistletoe extracts, updated in May 2002 and available from the National Cancer Institute web site, states that "There is no evidence from well-designed clinical trials that mistletoe or any of its components are effective treatments for human cancer."

AIDS treatment

Mistletoe extract has been used to combat AIDS. In 1998 European studies, Iscador injections were used to improve the immune response. Experts reported from early results that when patients were given Iscador, no additional progression of HIV was seen. The combination of Iscador with standard therapy could be potentially beneficial, but more research is needed.

In 1996, the first United States patent was issued for T4GEN, a pharmaceutical version of the mistletoe extract. ABT Global Pharmaceutical of Irvine, California (the patent owner) has developed the synthetic version to be tested and potentially approved as a drug by the FDA. As of summer 2000, there have been no further announcements about T4GEN research.
Precautions

Opinions are sharply divided on how safe and effective the herb is as a home remedy and in the treatment of conditions like cancer and AIDS. There is controversy about which parts of the plants are poisonous. Although the berries are classified as poisonous in the United States, some sources say that eating berries is only dangerous for babies, and only if handfuls are consumed. Pregnant or breast-feeding women, however, should not use the plant.

According to a report from the Hepatitis Foundation International, mistletoe is toxic to the liver. However, the PDR for Herbal Medicines advises that there are no health hazards when mistletoe is taken properly and in designated therapeutic dosages. Other sources state that mistletoe's toxicity could cause cardiac arrest.

People considering mistletoe should consult with their doctor or practitioner. Until there is definitive proof otherwise, there is a risk that the herbal remedies will conflict with conventional treatment.

Herbal experts including Varro Tyler advise against using mistletoe as a beverage or home remedy until more definitive research is completed. Tyler, a respected pharmacognosist, is the coauthor of the 1999 Tyler's Honest Herbal.
Side effects

Mistletoe may be potentially toxic to the liver. For people diagnosed with hepatitis, use of an herb like mistletoe may cause additional liver damage. However, advocates of mistletoe point out that the herb has been tested in Europe. That research indicated less severe side effects. Mistletoe extracts can produce chills, fever, headache, chest pain, and orthostatic circulatory disorders.

Commercial mistletoe extracts may produce fewer side effects. The body temperature may rise and there may be flu-like symptoms. The patient may experience nausea, abdominal pain, and (if given the extract injection) inflammation around the injection sight. In a slight number of cases, allergy symptoms have resulted.

Interactions

Mistletoe shouldn't be used by people who take monoamine oxidase (MAO) inhibitor antidepressants like Nardil. Potential reactions include a dangerous rise in blood pressure and a lowering of blood potassium levels (hypokalemia). In addition, mistletoe appears to interfere with the action of antidiabetic medications; to increase the activity of diuretics; and to increase the risk of a toxic reaction to aspirin or NSAIDs. Cancer patients considering mistletoe treatment should first consult with their doctor or practitioner.

 
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RECIPES:

Potato Pinwheels

Yield: about 30 slices
Ingredients:

    1 medium potato, cooked and peeled (yield: about 2/3 cup mashed potatoes)
    1 tsp vanilla extract
    6.5 cups sifted powdered sugar
    1 cup shredded coconut
    1/2 cup creamy peanut butter

Preparation:

1. Cut the peeled and cooked potato into eights and place in a stand mixer. Beat until mashed, then blend in vanilla extract. (This can be done by hand using a fork or potato masher if you don’t have a mixer.)

2. Mix in the powdered sugar in batches until thick and incorporated. Add coconut last and mix until well-blended.

3. Form candy into two equal balls and wrap in cling wrap. Refrigerate for an hour to firm up.

4. Spread waxed paper on your counter or table and sprinkle with powdered sugar. Roll the candy, one ball at a time, to form an 8-inch square on the waxed paper. Spread each square with peanut butter, covering the entire surface.

5. Roll the candy into a tight spiral like a jelly roll. Wrap each roll in waxed paper and refrigerate for 2 hours, or until firm enough to cut.

6. Slice the logs into ½ inch slices and serve. To keep the slices fairly round, rotate the log as you cut it so the bottom doesn't get too squished. Store Potato Pinwheels in the refrigerator in an airtight container.

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Easiest Peanut Butter Fudge

    READY IN ABOUT 1½ hrs

Original recipe makes 1 - 8x8 inch pan

    1/2 cup butter
    2 1/4 cups brown sugar
    1/2 cup milk
    3/4 cup peanut butter
    1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    3 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar


Directions

    Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Stir in brown sugar and milk. Bring to a boil and boil for 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Remove from heat. Stir in peanut butter and vanilla. Pour over confectioners' sugar in a large mixing bowl. Beat until smooth; pour into an 8x8 inch dish. Chill until firm and cut into squares.

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PENUCHE FUDGE    

2 c. firmly packed brown sugar
3/4 c. milk
1/8 tsp. salt
2 1/2 tbsp. butter
3/4 c. chopped nut meats
1 tsp. vanilla

In 3 quart heavy saucepan, combine sugar, milk, and salt; stir well. Over medium heat, bring to boil; cover and boil 2-3 minutes. Uncover and continue to boil until mixture reaches 244 degrees (firm ball stage), stirring frequently.

Remove from heat and place pan immediately into sink with cold water in bottom, just enough for pan to sit in 2-3 inches.

Without stirring, add butter and vanilla. When you can comfortably put finger into mixture, stir mixture until it starts to thicken and add nut meats. Spread in 8 inch buttered pan and let set until firm. ENJOY! Makes 1 1/2 pounds. Well worth the effort.

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Old Fashioned Potato Candy

Ingredients

    1 small potato
    2 pounds confectioner's sugar
    peanut butter

Instructions

    Peel and slice potato. In small sauce pot, cover potato slices with water and cook over medium heat until soft. Drain potato and place in mixing bowl. Beat until mashed. Add 1/2 sugar and mix well. Mix in remaining sugar, scraping down sides as needed.
    Line a countertop with a sheet of waxed paper dusted with confectioner's sugar. Scrape out dough onto waxed paper and dust top with more confectioner's sugar. Roll out to a thickness of about 1/4 of an inch (don't go getting a ruler here, just eyeball it. This isn't rocket science). Spread dough with peanut butter and roll up like you are making cinnamon rolls. Once you have rolled up into a log, roll log up in your waxed paper and cut in half. Place halves in a gallon zipper seal bag and store in the fridge until ready to serve.
    When ready to serve remove waxed paper an slice into 1/4 inch slices. Store leftovers in the refrigerator.

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Fudge (Makes 5 pounds)

1/2 cup butter
4 1/2 cups sugar (2 lbs)
1 Tablespoon vanilla
1 large (sweet chocolate.) Hershey bar(9 3/4oz)
1 (12oz. pkg.) semi sweet chocolate chips
2 sqares unsweetened chocolate
1 large can of milk
1 jar marshmallow fluff
2 cups chopped nuts

Mix in a dutch oven - 1 can of milk, butter and sugar. Bring to boil, cover and cook for 5 minutes. Add marshmallow fluff. Mix until dissolved. Then add vanilla and nuts. Pour into a large cookie sheet and let set until firm. Cut and store in refrigerator.

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JOKES:

A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom saying to himself, "How can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we dated, but she's bound to find out sooner or later."

Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "How do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out."

The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."

And she says, "So have I, love."

To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks.":

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Two nude statues (one male and one female) had been standing in the middle of a beautiful park for 99 years.

On their 100th anniversary in the park an angel came down from heaven to talk to the statues.

He said to them, "God has been watching you for the past 100 years and has been very pleased with the two of you. So pleased in fact that he has decided to grant you a wish of becoming human for a short time."

The angel then went on to say that they would be human for fifteen minutes and will finally be able to pleasure themselves in a manner in which they have only fantasized about for the last 100 years.

The statues were so excited they could hardly believe it.

The second they became human they ran off together behind the bushes.

The angel heard the rustling of the bushes and shouts of joy and laughter.

After 10 minutes the statues returned from behind the bushes sweating and laughing.

The angel told the statues that they still had 5 more minutes.

The male statue quickly turned to the female statue and said, "Cool, this time you hold down the pigeon and I'll crap on its head.":)

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The Office Party

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."

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Jokes

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can 'ho ho ho'!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low "elf" esteem!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws!

What do you call Father Christmas in the beach?
Sandy Clause!

What did the sea Say to Santa?
Nothing! It just waved!

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws

What do you call Santa's little helpers?
Subordinate clauses!

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!

What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!

Where do elves go to dance?
Christmas Balls!

What type of Shoes does Santa wear when he travels on a train?
Platforms!

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Krisp Kringle!

How long do a reindeers legs have to be?
Long enough so they can touch the ground!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!

Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught!

What's worse than Rudolph with a runny nose?
Frosty the snowman with a hot flush!

Why did the Rudolph cross the road?
Because he was tied to the chicken!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because he wasn't chicken!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!

What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled!

Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle

What song do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

How many letters are in the angelic alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has "no EL"!

What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful!

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross Mouse Cards!

What is the best xmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it!

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

How did Scrooge with the football game?
The ghost of christmas passed!

What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!

What is the worst disease that you get at Christmas?
Excemas!

What's the most popular Christmas wine?
'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'

Why do ghosts live in the fridge?
Because it's cool!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you!

Why are Christmas Trees like bad knitters? They keep loosing their needles!

What do crackers, fruitcake and nuts remind me of?
You!

What's the best thing to put into a Christmas Cake?
Your teeth!

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle Smells!

Where would you find chili beans?
At the north pole!

Why don't penguins fly?
Because they're not tall enough to be pilots!

What do sheep say at Christmas?
Wool-tide Bleatings! or A Merry Christmas to Ewe!

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
Mistle-toad!

Which football team did the baby Jesus support?
Manger-ster United!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Pudding
Pudding who?
Pudding in your face!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Hanna
Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!
Doctor: Well your in luck because I've got just the cream for that!

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 TIP FOR THE DAY:     

Contain Your Stains
          
If you have stain-causing leftovers—such as tomato sauce, curry or chili—lightly mist the container with nonstick cooking spray before putting in the food. The lecithin in the spray acts as a repellent to stain-setting pigments.

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Today, God’s message for you is to know that you are not a human being seeking spirituality, but a spiritual being seeking humanness.  As that one spirit, you alone can invoke changes to the human race.  As that human spirit you can help build bridges and move mountains for the betterment of humankind.

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tidbits, Etc

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REMINDER FROM GOD:

Yes, Sometimes I Am

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."1

"You are nothing but a pharisaical religious b______," Jennifer (not her real name) angrily condemned me in front of a seminar group of about 100 people. Admittedly, I was shocked—to put it mildly—and took a moment to regain composure, and answered by saying, "Yes, sometimes I am."

Had I become defensive and sought to justify myself, I'm sure I would have built a wall between myself and Jennifer, and most likely there never would have been any further meaningful communication between us.

This happened following a session discussing the subject of homos-e-x-uality. Jennifer, I learned later, was gay so her hostility towards me was understandable.

A few weeks later, for those who wanted to deal with personal issues we had a live-in in-depth week-long recovery workshop. What amazed me was that Jennifer attended even though she and I disagreed regarding homos-e-x-uality. At the beginning of the week she kept me at arm's length. However, I assured her that even though I disagreed with her lifestyle, I loved and accepted her.

There were about 30 of us at the retreat, and not one person judged or criticized Jennifer in any way all week. We all loved and accepted her. This was somewhat overpowering for her as she was so used to being condemned, especially by Christians. What shocked me even more was that at the end of the week, she came to me, hugged me warmly and said, "Perhaps you are right after all."

I am convinced that—at least for many—it is a lack of unconditional love that drives people into self-destructive acts of sin in their desperate search for love and acceptance—and only love—God's unconditional love through you and me will ever take them out again.
True Christianity is much more than a creed (as important as the creed is)—it is experiencing divine love, divine forgiveness, and divine acceptance—and communicating these to every life we touch.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to understand every person you bring into my life, and communicate your divine love, forgiveness, and acceptance to them at their point of deepest need. In so doing, may they find your love, forgiveness and acceptance for themselves. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Luke 6:37 (NIV).

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WORD FOR THE DAY:

poin·set·tia
noun po?in-'se-te-?, ÷po?int-, ÷-'se-t?
Definition of POINSETTIA
: any of several spurges (genus Euphorbia) with flower clusters subtended by showy involucral bracts; especially : a showy Mexican and Central American plant (E. pulcherrima) with tapering usually scarlet bracts that suggest petals and surround small yellow flowers

Origin of POINSETTIA
New Latin, from Joel R. Poinsett †1851 American diplomat

First Known Use: 1836

Rhymes with POINSETTIA
Barletta, biretta, bruschetta, cabretta, galleta, Gambetta, mozzetta, pancetta, Rosetta, Valletta, vendetta

poinsettia
noun    (Concise Encyclopedia)

Poinsettia (Euphorbia pulcherrima).—Grant Heilman Photography
Popular flowering plant (Euphorbia pulcherrima), best-known member of the diverse spurge family. Native to Mexico and Central America, it grows in moist, wet, wooded ravines and on rocky hillsides. What appear to be flower petals are actually coloured leaflike bracts that surround a central cluster of tiny yellow flowers. Cultivated varieties are available with white, pink, mottled, and striped bracts, but the solid red varieties are in greatest demand during the Christmas season. Milky latex in the stems and leaves can be irritating to sensitized persons or animals, but the claim that poinsettias are deadly poisonous is greatly exaggerated.


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Santa Claus

"Santa" redirects here. For other uses, see Santa (disambiguation).
For other uses, see Santa Claus (disambiguation).
Not to be confused with The Santa Clause.

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1881 illustration by Thomas Nast who, with Clement Clarke Moore, helped to create the modern
The modern portrayal of Santa Claus frequently depicts him listening to the Christmas wishes of young children.

Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas and simply "Santa", is a figure with legendary, mythical, historical and folkloric origins who, in many western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve, December 24.[1] The modern figure was derived from the Dutch figure of Sinterklaas,[2] which, in turn, may have part of its basis in hagiographical tales concerning the historical figure of gift giver Saint Nicholas. A nearly identical story is attributed by Greek and Byzantine folklore to Basil of Caesarea. Basil's feast day on January 1 is considered the time of exchanging gifts in Greece.

Santa Claus is generally depicted as a portly, joyous, white-bearded man - sometimes with spectacles - wearing a red coat with white collar and cuffs, white-cuffed red trousers, and black leather belt and boots (images of him rarely have a beard with no moustache). This image became popular in the United States and Canada in the 19th century due to the significant influence of Clement Clarke Moore's 1823 poem "A Visit From St. Nicholas" and of caricaturist and political cartoonist Thomas Nast.[3][4][5] This image has been maintained and reinforced through song, radio, television, children's books and films.

According to a tradition which can be traced to the 1820s, Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, with a large number of magical elves, and nine (originally eight) flying reindeer. Since the 20th century, in an idea popularized by the 1934 song "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", Santa Claus has been believed to make a list of children throughout the world, categorizing them according to their behavior ("naughty" or "nice") and to deliver presents, including toys, and candy to all of the well-behaved children in the world, and sometimes coal to the naughty children, on the single night of Christmas Eve. He accomplishes this feat with the aid of the elves who make the toys in the workshop and the reindeer who pull his sleigh.[6][7]

Predecessor figures
Saint Nicholas
A 13th-century Egyptian depiction of St. Nicholas from Saint Catherine's Monastery, Sinai

Saint Nicholas of Myra is the primary inspiration for the Christian figure of Sinterklaas. He was a 4th century Greek Christian bishop of Myra (now Demre) in Lycia, a province of the Byzantine Anatolia, now in Turkey. Nicholas was famous for his generous gifts to the poor, in particular presenting the three impoverished daughters of a pious Christian with dowries so that they would not have to become prostitutes.[8] He was very religious from an early age and devoted his life entirely to Christianity. In continental Europe (more precisely the Netherlands, Belgium, Austria and Germany) he is usually portrayed as a bearded bishop in canonical robes. In 1087, the Italian city of Bari, wanting to enter the profitable pilgrimage industry of the times, mounted an expedition to locate the tomb of the Christian Saint and procure his remains. The reliquary of St. Nicholas was desecrated by Italian sailors and the spoils, including his relics, taken to Bari[9][10] where they are kept to this day. A basilica was constructed the same year to store the loot and the area became a pilgrimage site for the devout, thus justifying the economic cost of the expedition. Saint Nicholas was later claimed as a patron saint of many diverse groups, from archers, sailors, and children to pawnbrokers.[8][11] He is also the patron saint of both Amsterdam and Moscow.[12]
Influence of Germanic paganism and folklore
An 1886 depiction of the indigenous Norse God Odin by Georg von Rosen

Numerous parallels have been drawn between Santa Claus and the figure of Odin, a major god amongst the Germanic peoples prior to their Christianization. Since many of these elements are unrelated to Christianity, there are theories regarding the pagan origins of various customs of the holiday stemming from areas where the Germanic peoples were Christianized and retained elements of their indigenous traditions, surviving in various forms into modern depictions of Santa Claus.[13]

Odin was sometimes recorded, at the native Germanic holiday of Yule, which was celebrated at the same time of year as Christmas now is, as leading a great hunting party through the sky.[14] Two books from Iceland, the Poetic Edda, compiled in the 13th century from earlier sources, and the Prose Edda, written in the 13th century by Snorri Sturluson, describe Odin as riding an eight-legged horse named Sleipnir that could leap great distances, giving rise to comparisons to Santa Claus's reindeer.[15] Further, Odin was referred to by many names in Skaldic poetry, some of which describe his appearance or functions. These include Síðgrani,[16] Síðskeggr,[17] Langbarðr,[18] (all meaning "long beard") and Jólnir[19] ("Yule figure").

According to some traditions, children would place their boots, filled with carrots, straw, or sugar, near the chimney for Odin's flying horse, Sleipnir, to eat.[20] Odin would then reward those children for their kindness by replacing Sleipnir's food with gifts or candy. This practice still survives in Germany, Belgium, the Netherlands and parts of France and became associated with Saint Nicholas since Christianization. In other countries it has been replaced by the hanging of stockings at the chimney in homes.[citation needed]

Originating from pre-Christian Alpine traditions and influenced by later Christianization, the Krampus is represented as a Companion of Saint Nicholas. Traditionally, some young men dress up as the Krampus in the first two weeks of December and particularly on the evening of December 5 and roam the streets frightening children (and adults) with rusty chains and bells.
Dutch folklore
Further information: Sinterklaas and Saint Nicholas
Sinterklaas in 2007

In the Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg, Saint Nicholas ("Sinterklaas", often called "De Goede Sint"—"The Good Saint") is an elderly, stately and serious man with white hair and a long, full beard. He wears a long red cape or chasuble over a traditional white bishop's alb and sometimes red stola, dons a red mitre, and holds a gold-coloured crosier, a long ceremonial shepherd's staff with a fancy curled top. To administer the distribution of presents Sinterklaas writes in the book of Saint Nicholas that contains notes on all children that indicate whether the child has been good or naughty during the year He traditionally rides a white gray. Saint Nicholas is aided by helpers commonly known as Zwarte Piet in Dutch ("Black Peter") or "Père Fouettard" in French. His feast on December 6 came to be celebrated in many countries with the giving of gifts. However, in the Netherlands the Dutch celebrate on the evening of December 5, with a celebration called "pakjesavond". In the Reformation in 16th-17th century Europe, many Protestants and others changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, and the date for giving gifts changed from December 6 to Christmas Eve.[21]

Tradition holds that Saint Nicholas (Sinterklaas) and his aides arrive each year by steam boat from Spain in mid November. Black Peter carries with him the book of Saint Nicholas. The rest of the entourage carries gifts, chocolate letters and spice nuts to be handed to the well-behaved children. During the subsequent three weeks, Saint Nicholas is believed to ride a white-grey horse over the rooftops at night, delivering gifts through the chimney to the well-behaved children, while the naughty children risk being caught by Saint Nicholas's aides that carry jute bags and willow canes for that purpose.[22]

In Netherlands and Belgium next to Sinterklaas the character of Santa Claus is also known, He is known as de Kerstman in Dutch ("the Christmas man") and Père Noël ("Father Christmas") in French. But for children in the Netherlands Sinterklaas is the predominant gift-giver in in December (36% of the population only give presents on Sinterklaas day), Christmas is used by another fifth of the Dutch population to give presents. (21% give presents on Christmas only). Some 26% of the Dutch population give presents on both days.[23] In Belgium, presents are given to children only, but to almost all of them, on Sinterklaas day. On Christmas Day, everybody receives presents, but often without Santa Claus's help.

In recent years, some consider it racist to have Black Peter and want him eliminated from any festival or mention.[citation needed]
Scandinavian folklore

In the 1840s, an being in Nordic folklore called "Tomte" or "Nisse" started to deliver the Christmas presents in Denmark. The Tomte was portrayed as a short, bearded man dressed in gray clothes and a red hat. This new version of the age-old folkloric creature was obviously inspired by the Santa Claus traditions that were now spreading to Scandinavia. By the end of the 19th century this tradition had also spread to Norway and Sweden, replacing the Yule Goat. The same thing happened in Finland, but there the more human figure retained the Yule Goat name. But even though the tradition of the Yule Goat as a bringer of presents is now all but extinct, a straw goat is still a common Christmas decoration in all of Scandinavia. Iceland has 13 Yule lads that originate from folklore rather than Christianity and start arriving from the mountains into towns 13 days before December 24.

Father Christmas

Main article: Father Christmas

Father Christmas dates back at least as far as the 17th century in Britain, and pictures of him survive from that era, portraying him as a jolly well-nourished bearded man dressed in a long, green, fur-lined robe.[24] He typified the spirit of good cheer at Christmas, and was reflected as the "Ghost of Christmas Present", in Charles Dickens's festive classic A Christmas Carol, a great genial man in a green coat lined with fur who takes Scrooge through the bustling streets of London on the current Christmas morning, sprinkling the essence of Christmas onto the happy populace.[25]
History
Scrooge is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Present, a colorized version of the original illustration by John Leech made for the Charles Dickens's festive classic A Christmas Carol (1843)
Origins

Pre-modern representations of the gift-giver from church history and folklore, notably St Nicholas and Sinterklaas, merged with the British character Father Christmas to create the character known to Britons and Americans as Santa Claus.

In the British colonies of North America and later the United States, British and Dutch versions of the gift-giver merged further. For example, in Washington Irving's History of New York (1809), Sinterklaas was Americanized into "Santa Claus" (a name first used in the American press in 1773)[26] but lost his bishop’s apparel, and was at first pictured as a thick-bellied Dutch sailor with a pipe in a green winter coat. Irving’s book was a lampoon of the Dutch culture of New York, and much of this portrait is his joking invention.
19th century

"December 24, 1864. This has usually been a very busy day with me, preparing for Christmas not only for my own tables, but for gifts for my servants. Now how changed! No confectionary, cakes, or pies can I have. We are all sad; no loud, jovial laugh from our boys is heard. Christmas Eve, which has ever been gaily celebrated here, which has witnessed the popping of firecrackers … and the hanging up of stockings, is an occasion now of sadness and gloom. I have nothing even to put in 8-year-old daughter Sadai's stocking, which hangs so invitingly for Santa Claus. How disappointed she will be in the morning, though I have explained to her why he cannot come. Poor children! Why must the innocent suffer with the guilty?"
Diary of Dolly Lunt Burge, a Maine native, widow of Thomas Burge, and resident living ca. 40 miles southeast of Atlanta near Covington, Georgia. This entry from Mrs. Burge's diary was five weeks after most of General T. Sherman's U.S. Army forces had passed on their blackened-earth "march across Georgia" toward Savanna, after the army's destruction of Atlanta in mid-November, 1864. U.S. Army mop-up companies and stragglers during those intervening weeks continued to "forage", loot, burn, and abduct ex-slaves reluctant to leave their families and friends, hence, the concern of Mrs. Burge and her household.[27]

In 1821, the book A New-year's present, to the little ones from five to twelve was published in New York. It contained Old Santeclaus, an anonymous poem describing an old man on a reindeer sleigh, bringing presents to children.[28] Some modern ideas of Santa Claus seemingly became canon after the anonymous publication of the poem "A Visit From St. Nicholas" (better known today as "The Night Before Christmas") in the Troy, New York, Sentinel on December 23, 1823; the poem was later attributed to Clement Clarke Moore.[8] Many of his modern attributes are established in this poem, such as riding in a sleigh that lands on the roof, entering through the chimney, and having a bag full of toys. St. Nick is described as being "chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf" with "a little round belly", that "shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly", in spite of which the "miniature sleigh" and "tiny reindeer" still indicate that he is physically diminutive. The reindeer were also named: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Dunder and Blixem (Dunder and Blixem came from the old Dutch words for thunder and lightning, which were later changed to the more German sounding Donner and Blitzen).[29]

As the years passed, Santa Claus evolved in popular culture into a large, heavyset person. One of the first artists to define Santa Claus's modern image was Thomas Nast, an American cartoonist of the 19th century. In 1863, a picture of Santa illustrated by Nast appeared in Harper's Weekly.
Thomas Nast immortalized Santa Claus with an illustration for the January 3, 1863 issue of Harper's Weekly. Note that Santa is dressed in an American flag, and has a puppet with the name "Jeff" written on it, reflecting its Civil War context.

The story that Santa Claus lives at the North Pole may also have been a Nast creation. His Christmas image in the Harper’s issue dated December 29, 1866 was a collage of engravings titled Santa Claus and His Works, which included the caption "Santa Claussville, N.P."[30] A color collection of Nast's pictures, published in 1869, had a poem also titled "Santa Claus and His Works" by George P. Webster, who wrote that Santa Claus’s home was "near the North Pole, in the ice and snow".[31] The tale had become well known by the 1870s. A boy from Colorado writing to the children's magazine The Nursery in late 1874 said, "If we did not live so very far from the North Pole, I should ask Santa Claus to bring me a donkey."[32]

The idea of a wife for Santa Claus may have been the creation of American authors, beginning in the mid-1800s. In 1889, the poet Katherine Lee Bates popularized Mrs. Claus in the poem "Goody Santa Claus on a Sleigh Ride".

"Is There a Santa Claus?" was the title of an editorial appearing in the September 21, 1897 edition of the New York Sun. The editorial, which included the famous reply Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, has become an indelible part of popular Christmas lore in the United States and Canada.
20th century
Hanging up stockings for Santa Claus, Ohio, 1928

L. Frank Baum's The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, a 1902 children's book, further popularized Santa Claus. Much of Santa Claus’s mythos was not set in stone at the time, leaving Baum to give his "Neclaus" (Necile’s Little One) a wide variety of immortal support, a home in the Laughing Valley of Hohaho, and ten reindeer—who could not fly, but leapt in enormous, flight-like bounds. Claus's immortality was earned, much like his title ("Santa"), decided by a vote of those naturally immortal. This work also established Claus’s motives: a happy childhood among immortals. When Ak, Master Woodsman of the World, exposes him to the misery and poverty of children in the outside world, Santa strives to find a way to bring joy into the lives of all children, and eventually invents toys as a principal means.

Images of Santa Claus were further popularized through Haddon Sundblom’s depiction of him for The Coca-Cola Company’s Christmas advertising in the 1930s.[8][33] The popularity of the image spawned urban legends that Santa Claus was invented by The Coca-Cola Company or that Santa wears red and white because they are the colors used to promote the Coca-Cola brand.[34] Historically, Coca-Cola was not the first soft drink company to utilize the modern image of Santa Claus in its advertising—White Rock Beverages had already used a red and white Santa to sell mineral water in 1915 and then in advertisements for its ginger ale in 1923.[35][36][37] Earlier still, Santa Claus had appeared dressed in red and white and essentially in his current form on several covers of Puck magazine in the first few years of the twentieth century.[38]
A man dressed up as Santa Claus fundraising for Volunteers of America on the sidewalk of street in Chicago, Illinois, in 1902. He is wearing a mask with a beard attached.

The image of Santa Claus as a benevolent character became reinforced with its association with charity and philanthropy, particularly by organizations such as the Salvation Army. Volunteers dressed as Santa Claus typically became part of fundraising drives to aid needy families at Christmas time.

In 1937, Charles W. Howard, who played Santa Claus in department stores and parades, established the Charles W. Howard Santa School, the oldest continuously-run such school in the world.[39]

In some images from the early 20th century, Santa was depicted as personally making his toys by hand in a small workshop like a craftsman. Eventually, the idea emerged that he had numerous elves responsible for making the toys, but the toys were still handmade by each individual elf working in the traditional manner.

The 1956 popular song by George Melachrino, "Mrs. Santa Claus", and the 1963 children's book How Mrs. Santa Claus Saved Christmas, by Phyllis McGinley, helped standardize and establish the character and role of Mrs. Claus in the popular imagination.

Seabury Quinn’s 1948 novel Roads draws from historical legends to tell the story of Santa and the origins of Christmas. Other modern additions to the "story" of Santa include Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the 9th and lead reindeer immortalized in a Gene Autry song, written by a Montgomery Ward copywriter.

Chimney tradition

Steen's The Feast of Saint Nicholas

The tradition of Santa Claus entering dwellings through the chimney is shared by many European seasonal gift-givers. In pre-Christian Norse tradition, Odin would often enter through chimneys and fireholes on the solstice. In the Italian Befana tradition, the gift-giving witch is perpetually covered with soot from her trips down the chimneys of children's homes. In the tale of Saint Nicholas, the saint tossed coins through a window, and, in a later version of the tale, down a chimney when he finds the window locked. In Dutch artist Jan Steen's painting, The Feast of Saint Nicholas, adults and toddlers are glancing up a chimney with amazement on their faces while other children play with their toys. The hearth was held sacred in primitive belief as a source of beneficence, and popular belief had elves and fairies bringing gifts to the house through this portal. Santa's entrance into homes on Christmas Eve via the chimney was made part of American tradition through Moore's A Visit from Saint Nicholas where the author described him as an elf.[40]
In popular culture

Further information: Santa Claus in Northern American culture


By the end of the 20th century, the reality of mass mechanized production became more fully accepted by the Western public.[citation needed] That shift was reflected in the modern depiction of Santa's residence—now often humorously portrayed as a fully mechanized production and distribution facility, equipped with the latest manufacturing technology, and overseen by the elves with Santa and Mrs. Claus as executives and/or managers.[41] An excerpt from a 2004 article, from a supply chain managers' trade magazine, aptly illustrates this depiction:

    Santa's main distribution center is a sight to behold. At 4,000,000 square feet (370,000 m2), it's one of the world's largest facilities. A real-time warehouse management system (WMS) is of course required to run such a complex. The facility makes extensive use of task interleaving, literally combining dozens of DC activities (putaway, replenishing, order picking, sleigh loading, cycle counting) in a dynamic queue...the DC elves have been on engineered standards and incentives for three years, leading to a 12% gain in productivity...The WMS and transportation system are fully integrated, allowing (the elves) to make optimal decisions that balance transportation and order picking and other DC costs. Unbeknownst to many, Santa actually has to use many sleighs and fake Santa drivers to get the job done Christmas Eve, and the transportation management system (TMS) optimally builds thousands of consolidated sacks that maximize cube utilization and minimize total air miles.[42]

Many television commercials, comic strips and other media depict this as a sort of humorous business, with Santa's elves acting as a sometimes mischievously disgruntled workforce, cracking jokes and pulling pranks on their boss. For instance, a Bloom County story from December 15, 1981 through December 24, 1981 has Santa rejecting the demands of PETCO (Professional Elves Toy-Making and Craft Organization) for higher wages, a hot tub in the locker room, and “short broads,” with the elves then going on strike. President Reagan steps in, fires all of Santa’s helpers, and replaces them with out-of-work air traffic controllers (an obvious reference to the 1981 air traffic controllers' strike), resulting in a riot before Santa vindictively rehires them in humiliating new positions such as his reindeer.[43] In The Sopranos episode, "...To Save Us All from Satan's Power", Paulie Gualtieri says he "Used to think Santa and Mrs. Claus were running a sweatshop over there. ... The original elves were ugly, traveled with Santa to throw bad kids a beatin', and gave the good ones toys."

In Kyrgyzstan, a mountain peak was named after Santa Claus, after a Swedish company had suggested the location be a more efficient starting place for present-delivering journeys all over the world, than Lapland. In the Kyrgyz capital, Bishkek, a Santa Claus Festival was held on December 30, 2007, with government officials attending. 2008 was officially declared the Year of Santa Claus in the country. The events are seen as moves to boost tourism in Kyrgyzstan.[44]
Santa Claus toy is a popular entertainment for children.
2009 Liverpool Santa Dash

The Guinness World Record for the largest gathering of Santa Clauses is held by Derry City, Northern Ireland. On September 9, 2007. A total of 12,965 people dressed up as Santa or Santa's helper brought down the previous record of 3,921, which was set during the Santa Dash event in Liverpool City Centre in 2005.[45] A gathering of Santas in 2009 in Bucharest, Romania attempted top the world record, but failed with only 3939 Santas.[46]
Traditions and rituals

The North American traditions associated with Santa Claus are derived from a number of Christmas traditions from various countries. Some rituals (such as visiting a department store Santa) occur in the weeks and days before Christmas while others, such as preparing snacks for Santa, are specific to Christmas Eve. Some rituals, such as setting out stockings to be filled with gifts, are age-old traditions while others, such as NORAD's tracking of Santa's sleigh through the night skies on Christmas Eve, are modern inventions.
Parades, department stores, and shopping malls

Santa Claus appears in the weeks before Christmas in department stores or shopping malls, or at parties. The practice of this has been credited to James Edgar, as he started doing this in 1890 in his Brockton, Massachusetts department store.[47] He is played by an actor, usually helped by other actors (often mall employees) dressed as elves or other creatures of folklore associated with Santa. Santa's function is either to promote the store's image by distributing small gifts to children, or to provide a seasonal experience to children by listening to their wishlist while having them sit on his knee (a practice now under review by some organisations in Britain,[48] and Switzerland[49]). Sometimes a photograph of the child and Santa are taken. Having a Santa set up to take pictures with children is a ritual that dates back at least to 1918.[50]
Eaton's Santa Claus Parade, 1918, Toronto, Canada. Having arrived at the Eaton's department store, Santa is readying his ladder to climb up onto the building.
Giant Santa Claus, Philippines.

The area set up for this purpose is festively decorated, usually with a large throne, and is called variously "Santa's Grotto", "Santa's Workshop" or a similar term. In the United States, the most notable of these is the Santa at the flagship Macy's store in New York City—he arrives at the store by sleigh in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the last float, and his court takes over a large portion of one floor in the store. The Macy's Santa Claus is often said to be the real Santa. Essayist David Sedaris is known for the satirical SantaLand Diaries he kept while working as an elf in the Macy's display, which were turned into a famous radio segment and later published.

Quite often the Santa, if and when he is detected to be fake, explains that he is not the real Santa and is helping him at this time of year. Most young children seem to understand this, as the real Santa is extremely busy around Christmas. At family parties, Santa is sometimes impersonated by the male head of the household or other adult male family member.
Santa Claus portrayed by children's television producer Jonathan Meath

There are schools offering instruction on how to act as Santa Claus. For example, children's television producer Jonathan Meath studied at the International School of Santa Claus and earned the degree Master of Santa Claus in 2006. It blossomed into a second career for him, and after appearing in parades and malls,[51] he appeared on the cover of the American monthly Boston Magazine as Santa.[52] There are associations with members who portray Santa; for example, Mr. Meath is a board member of the international organization called Fraternal Order of Real Bearded Santas.

"Letters to Santa" redirects here. For the Muppet television film, see A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa. For the Polish film, see Letters to Santa (film).

Writing letters to Santa Claus has been a Christmas tradition for children for many years. These letters normally contain a wishlist of toys and assertions of good behavior. Some social scientists have found that boys and girls write different types of letters. Girls generally write longer but more polite lists and express the nature of Christmas more in their letters than in letters written by boys. Girls also more often request gifts for other people.[54]

Many postal services allow children to send letters to Santa Claus. These letters may be answered by postal workers and/or outside volunteers.[55] Writing letters to Santa Claus has the educational benefits of promoting literacy, computer literacy, and e-mail literacy. A letter to Santa is often a child's first experience of correspondence. Written and sent with the help of a parent or teacher, children learn about the structure of a letter, salutations, and the use of an address and postcode.[56]

According to the Universal Postal Union (UPU)'s 2007 study and survey of national postal operations, the United States Postal Service (USPS) has the oldest Santa letter answering effort by a national postal system. The USPS Santa letter answering effort started in 1912 out of the historic James Farley Post Office[57] in New York, and since 1940 has been called "Operation Santa[dead link]" to ensure that letters to Santa are adopted by charitable organizations, major corporations, local businesses and individuals in order to make children’s holiday dreams come true from coast to coast.[55] Those seeking a North Pole holiday postmark through the USPS, are told to send their letter from Santa or a holiday greeting card by December 10 to: North Pole Holiday Postmark, Postmaster, 4141 Postmark Dr, Anchorage, AK 99530-9998.[58]

In 2006, according to the UPU's 2007 study and survey of national postal operations, France's Postal Service received the most letters for Santa Claus or "Père Noël" with 1,220,000 letters received from 126 countries.[59] France's Postal Service in 2007 specially recruited someone to answer the enormous volume of mail that was coming from Russia for Santa Claus.[55]

Other interesting Santa letter processing information, according to the UPU's 2007 study and survey of national postal operations, are:[55]

    Countries whose national postal operators answer letters to Santa and other end-of-year holiday figures, and the number of letters received in 2006: Germany (500,000), Australia (117,000), Austria (6,000), Bulgaria (500), Canada (1,060,000), Spain (232,000), United States (no figure, as statistics are not kept centrally), Finland (750,000), France (1,220,000), Ireland (100,000), New Zealand (110,000), Portugal (255,000), Poland (3,000), Slovakia (85,000), Sweden (150,000), Switzerland (17,863), Ukraine (5,019), United Kingdom (750,000).
    In 2006, Finland's national postal operation received letters from 150 countries (representing 90% of the letters received), France's Postal Service from 126 countries, Germany from 80 countries, and Slovakia from 20 countries.
    In 2007, Canada Post replied to letters in 26 languages and Deutsche Post in 16 languages.
    Some national postal operators make it possible to send in e-mail messages which are answered by physical mail. All the same, Santa still receives far more letters than e-mail through the national postal operators, proving that children still write letters. National postal operators offering the ability to use an on-line web form (with or without a return e-mail address) to Santa and obtain a reply include Canada Post[60] (on-line web request form in English and French), France's Postal Service (on-line web request form in French),[61][62] and New Zealand Post[63] (on-line web request form in English).[64] In France, by 6 December 2010, a team of 60 postal elves had sent out reply cards in response to 80,000 e-mail on-line request forms and more tna 500,000 physical letters.[56]

Canada Post has a special postal code for letters to Santa Claus, and since 1982 over 13,000 Canadian postal workers have volunteered to write responses. His address is: Santa Claus, North Pole, Canada, H0H 0H0[65] (see also: Ho ho ho). (This postal code, in which zeroes are used for the letter "O" is consistent with the alternating letter-number format of all Canadian postal codes.) Sometimes children's charities answer letters in poor communities, or from children's hospitals, and give them presents they would not otherwise receive. In 2009, 1,000 workers answered 1.1 million letters and 39,500 e-mail on-line request forms from children in 30 different languages, including Braille.[56]

In Britain it was traditional for some to burn the Christmas letters on the fire so that they would be magically transported by the wind to the North Pole. However this has been found to be less efficient than the use of the normal postal service, and this tradition is dying out in modern times, especially with few homes having open fires in their homes.[66] Recently the national postal service Royal Mail has extended its delivery service to include Santa Claus' address, and allocated it a postcode. In 2010 the full address is: Santa Claus, Reindeer Land, SAN TA1.[67]

In Mexico and other Latin American countries, besides using the mail, sometimes children wrap their letters to a small helium balloon, releasing them into the air so Santa magically receives them.[66]

In 2010, the Brazilian National Post Service, “Correios” formed partnerships with public schools and social institutions to encourage children to write letters and make use of postcodes and stamps. In 2009, the Brazilian National Post Service, “Correios” answered almost two million children's letters, and spread some seasonal cheer by donating 414,000 Christmas gifts to some of Brazil's neediest citizens.[56]

Through the years, the Finnish Santa Claus (Joulupukki or "Yule Goat") has received over eight million letters. He receives over 600,000 letters every year from over 198 different countries with Togo being the most recent country added to the list.[56] Children from Great Britain, Poland and Japan are the busiest writers. The Finnish Santa Claus lives in Korvatunturi, however the Santa Claus Main Post Office is situated in Rovaniemi near the Arctic circle. His address is: Santa Claus’ Main Post Office, Santa’s Workshop Village, FIN-96930 Arctic Circle. The post office welcomes 300,000 visitor a year, with 70,000 visitors in December alone.[56]

Children can also receive a letter from Santa through a variety of private agencies and organizations, and on occasion public and private cooperative ventures. An example of a public and private cooperative venture is the opportunity for expatriate and local children and parents to receive postmarked mail and greeting cards from Santa during December in the Finnish Embassy in Beijing, People's Republic of China,[68] Santa Claus Village in Rovaniemi, Finland, and the People's Republic of China Postal System's Beijing International Post Office.[69][70][71][72] Parents can order a personalized "Santa letter" to be sent to their child, often with a North Pole postmark. The "Santa Letter" market generally relies on the internet as a medium for ordering such letters rather than retail stores.[undue weight? – discuss]
Santa tracking, Santa websites and email to and from Santa
The Christmas issue of NOAA's Weather Bureau Topics with "Santa Claus" streaking across a weather radar screen, 1958

Over the years there have been a number of websites created by various organizations that have purported to track Santa Claus. Some, such as NORAD Tracks Santa, the Airservices Australia Tracks Santa Project,[73][74][75] the Santa Update Project, and the MSNBC and Bing Maps Platform Tracks Santa Project[76][77] have endured. Others, such as the Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport’s Tracks Santa Project,[78][79][80] the Santa Retro Radar – Lehigh Valley Project,[81] and the NASA Tracks Santa Project,[82] have fallen by the wayside.
1955 Sears ad with the misprinted telephone number that led to the creation of the NORAD Tracks Santa program.

In 1955, a Sears Roebuck store in Colorado Springs, Colorado, gave children a number to call a "Santa hotline". The number was mistyped and children called the Continental Air Defense Command (CONAD) on Christmas Eve instead. The Director of Operations, Colonel Harry Shoup, received the first call for Santa and responded by telling children that there were signs on the radar that Santa was indeed heading south from the North Pole. A tradition began which continued under the name NORAD Tracks Santa when in 1958 Canada and the United States jointly created the North American Air Defense Command (NORAD).[83] This tracking can now be done via the Internet and NORAD's website.

In the past, many local television stations in the United States and Canada likewise "tracked Santa Claus" in their own metropolitan areas through the stations' meteorologists. In December 2000, the Weather Channel built upon these local efforts to provide a national Christmas Eve "Santa tracking" effort, called "SantaWatch" in cooperation with NASA, the International Space Station, and Silicon Valley-based new multimedia firm Dreamtime Holdings.[84] In the 21st century, most local television stations in the United States and Canada rely upon outside established "Santa tracking" efforts, such as NORAD Tracks Santa.[85]

Many other websites are available year-round that are devoted to Santa Claus and purport to keep tabs on his activities in his workshop. Many of these websites also include email addresses which allow children to send email to Santa Claus. Most of these websites use volunteer living people as "elves" to answer email sent to Santa. Some websites, such as Santa’s page on Microsoft's Windows Live Spaces, however have used or still use "bots" to compose and send email replies, with occasional unfortunate results.[86][87]

In addition to providing holiday-themed entertainment, "Santa tracking" websites raise interest in space technology and exploration,[88] serve to educate children in geography.[89] and encourage them to take an interest in science.[90][91]
Christmas Eve rituals

In the United States and Canada, children traditionally leave Santa a glass of milk and a plate of cookies; in Britain and Australia, he is sometimes given sherry and mince pies instead. In Sweden and Norway, children leave rice porridge. In Ireland it is popular to give him Guinness or milk, along with Christmas pudding or mince pies.

In Hungary, St. Nicolaus (Mikulás) comes on the night of December 5 and the children get their gifts the next morning. They get sweets in a bag if they were good, and a golden colored birch switch if not. On Christmas Eve "Little Jesus" comes and gives gifts for everyone.

In Slovenia, Saint Nicholas (Miklavž) also brings small gifts for good children on the eve of December 6. Božicek (Christmas Man) brings gifts on the eve of December 25, and Dedek Mraz (Grandfather Frost) brings gifts in the evening of December 31 to be opened on New Years Day.

British, Australian, Irish, Canadian and American children also leave a carrot for Santa's reindeer, and were traditionally told that if they are not good all year round, that they will receive a lump of coal in their stockings, although this practice is now considered archaic. Children following the Dutch custom for sinterklaas will "put out their shoe"—that is, leave hay and a carrot for his horse in a shoe before going to bed—sometimes weeks before the sinterklaas avond. The next morning they will find the hay and carrot replaced by a gift; often, this is a marzipan figurine. Naughty children were once told that they would be left a roe (a bundle of sticks) instead of sweets, but this practice has been discontinued.

Other Christmas Eve Santa Claus rituals in the United States include reading Clement Clark Moore's A Visit from St. Nicholas or other tale about Santa Claus, watching a Santa or Christmas-related animated program on television (such as the aforementioned Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town and similar specials, such as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, among many others), and the singing of Santa Claus songs such as "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", "Here Comes Santa Claus", and "Up on the Housetop". Last minute rituals for children before going to bed include aligning stockings at the mantelpiece or other place where Santa cannot fail to see them, peeking up the chimney (in homes with a fireplace), glancing out a window and scanning the heavens for Santa's sleigh, and (in homes without a fireplace) unlocking an exterior door so Santa can easily enter the house. Tags on gifts for children are sometimes signed by their parents "From Santa Claus" before the gifts are laid beneath the tree.
Criticism

Christian opposition

Despite Santa Claus's partial Christian roots, he has become a secular representation of Christmas. As such, the character has sometimes been the focus of controversy over the holiday and its meanings. Some Christians[who?] dislike secular Christmas, believing that it detracts from, or even parodies, the religious celebration. Other Christians condemn the materialist focus of contemporary gift giving and see Santa Claus as the symbol of that culture.

Condemnation of Christmas was prevalent among the 17th century English Puritans and Dutch Calvinists who banned the holiday as either pagan or Roman Catholic. The American colonies established by these groups reflected this view. Tolerance for Christmas increased after the Restoration but the Puritan opposition to the holiday persisted in New England for almost two centuries.[92] In the Dutch New Netherland colony, season celebrations focused on New Year's Day.
Excerpt from Josiah King's The Examination and Tryal of Father Christmas (1686), published shortly after Christmas was reinstated as a holy day in England. Folger Shakespeare Library, Washington, D.C.

Following the Restoration of the monarchy and with Puritans out of power in England,[93] the ban on Christmas was satirized in works such as Josiah King's The Examination and Tryal of Old Father Christmas; Together with his Clearing by the Jury (1686) Nissenbaum, chap. 1.

Rev. Paul Nedergaard, a clergyman in Copenhagen, Denmark, attracted controversy in 1958 when he declared Santa to be a "pagan goblin" after Santa's image was used on fund-raising materials for a Danish welfare organization Clar, 337. One prominent religious group that refuses to celebrate Santa Claus, or Christmas itself, for similar reasons is the Jehovah's Witnesses.[94] A number of denominations of Christians have varying concerns about Santa Claus, which range from acceptance to denouncement.[95][96]

Some Christians prefer the holiday focus on the actual birth of Jesus, believing that Christmas stemmed from pagan festivals such as the Roman Saturnalia and Germanic Yule that were subsumed within ancient Christianity. An even smaller subset of Reformed Christians actually prefer the secularized version of the holiday for the same reasons, believing that to relegate Christ's birth to Christmas is wrong.[97]

Symbol of commercialism

In his book Nicholas: The Epic Journey from Saint to Santa Claus, writer Jeremy Seal describes how the commercialization of the Santa Claus figure began in the 19th century. "In the 1820s he began to acquire the recognizable trappings: reindeer, sleigh, bells," said Seal in an interview.[98] "They are simply the actual bearings in the world from which he emerged. At that time, sleighs were how you got about Manhattan."

Writing in Mothering, writer Carol Jean-Swanson makes similar points, noting that the original figure of St. Nicholas gave only to those who were needy and that today Santa Claus seems to be more about conspicuous consumption:
“     Our jolly old Saint Nicholas reflects our culture to a T, for he is fanciful, exuberant, bountiful, over-weight, and highly commercial. He also mirrors some of our highest ideals: childhood purity and innocence, selfless giving, unfaltering love, justice, and mercy. (What child has ever received a coal for Christmas?) The problem is that, in the process, he has become burdened with some of society's greatest challenges: materialism, corporate greed, and domination by the media. Here, Santa carries more in his baggage than toys alone![99]     ”

In the Czech Republic, a group of advertising professionals started a website against Santa Claus, a relatively recent phenomenon in that country.[100] "Czech Christmases are intimate and magical. All that Santa stuff seems to me like cheap show business," said David König of the Creative Copywriters Club, pointing out that it is primarily an American and British tradition. "I'm not against Santa himself. I'm against Santa in my country only." In the Czech tradition, presents are delivered by Ježíšek, which translates as Baby Jesus.

In the United Kingdom, Father Christmas was historically depicted wearing a green cloak. As Father Christmas has been increasingly merged into the image of Santa Claus, that has been changed to the more commonly known red suit.[101] One school in the seaside town of Brighton banned the use of a red suit erroneously believing it was only indicative of the Coca-Cola advertising campaign. School spokesman Sarah James said: "The red-suited Santa was created as a marketing tool by Coca-Cola, it is a symbol of commercialism."[102] She was wrong; it was Thomas Nast who first created the red-suited Santa.[103]
Controversy about deceiving children
“     The adults they count on to provide reliable information about the world introduce them to Santa. Then his existence is affirmed by friends, books, TV and movies. It is also validated by hard evidence: the half-eaten cookies and empty milk glasses by the tree on Christmas morning. In other words, children do a great job of scientifically evaluating Santa. And adults do a great job of duping them.[104]     ”

—Jacqueline Wooley

Woolley posits that it is perhaps "kinship with the adult world" that causes children not to be angry that they were lied to for so long.[104] The criticism about this deception is not that it is a simple lie, but a complicated series of very large lies.[105] The objections to the lie are that it is unethical for parents to lie to children without good cause, and that it discourages healthy skepticism in children.[105] With no greater good at the heart of the lie, it is charged that it is more about the parents than it is about the children. Writer Austin Cline posed the question: "Is it not possible that kids would find at least as much pleasure in knowing that parents are responsible for Christmas, not a supernatural stranger?"[105]

Others, however, see no harm in the belief in Santa Claus. Psychologist Tamar Murachver said that because it is a cultural, not parental, lie, it does not undermine parental trust.[106] The New Zealand Skeptics also see no harm in parents telling their children that Santa is real. Spokesperson Vicki Hyde said, "It would be a hard-hearted parent indeed who frowned upon the innocent joys of our children's cultural heritage. We save our bah humbugs for the things that exploit the vulnerable."[106] It can also be advocated that, although Santa Claus is not real, the Christmas spirit is real.[107]

Dr. John Condry of Cornell University interviewed more than 500 children for a study of the issue and found that not a single child was angry at his or her parents for telling them Santa Claus was real. According to Dr. Condry, "The most common response to finding out the truth was that they felt older and more mature. They now knew something that the younger kids did not".[108]

A further quoted advantage of the Santa Claus deception is that it has provided a useful model for parents to explain that other beliefs in the supernatural might be equally false; one should not blindly accept any belief.[109]

Home

Santa Claus's home traditionally includes a residence and a workshop where he creates—often with the aid of elves or other supernatural beings—the gifts he delivers to good children at Christmas. Some stories and legends include a village, inhabited by his helpers, surrounding his home and shop.

In North American tradition (in the United States and Canada), Santa lives on the North Pole, which according to Canada Post lies within Canadian jurisdiction in postal code H0H 0H0 (a reference to "ho ho ho", Santa's notable saying, although postal codes starting with H are usually reserved for the island of Montreal in Québec). On December 23, 2008, Jason Kenney, Canada's minister of Citizenship, Immigration and Multiculturalism, formally awarded Canadian citizenship status to Santa Claus. "The Government of Canada wishes Santa the very best in his Christmas Eve duties and wants to let him know that, as a Canadian citizen, he has the automatic right to re-enter Canada once his trip around the world is complete," Kenney said in an official statement.[110]

There is also a city named North Pole in Alaska where a tourist attraction known as the "Santa Claus House" has been established. The US postal service uses the city's zip code of 99705 as their advertised postal code for Santa Claus. A Wendy's in North Pole, AK has also claimed to have a "sleigh fly through".[111]

Each Nordic country claims Santa's residence to be within their territory. Norway claims he lives in Drøbak. In Denmark, he is said to live in Greenland (near Uummannaq). In Sweden, the town of Mora has a theme park named Tomteland. The national postal terminal in Tomteboda in Stockholm receives children's letters for Santa. In Finland, Korvatunturi has long been known as Santa's home, and two theme parks, Santa Claus Village and Santa Park are located near Rovaniemi.
 
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RECIPES:

Baked Pork Chops & Gravy

You make the breading for these mouthwatering pork chops with stuffing mix...it couldn't be easier or more delicious.

Serves: 6 servings (1 chop each)
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
   

1 egg, beaten
2 tablespoons water
6 boneless pork chop, 3/4-inch thick (about 1 1/2 pounds)
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups Pepperidge Farm® Herb Seasoned Stuffing, crushed
1 can (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell's® Turkey Gravy


Beat the egg and water in a shallow dish with a fork or whisk. Coat the pork with the flour. Dip the pork into the egg mixture. Coat with the stuffing. Place the pork onto a baking sheet.
Bake at 400°F. for 20 minutes or until the pork is cooked through.
Heat the gravy in a 1-quart saucepan over medium heat until it's hot and bubbling.  Serve the gravy with the pork.

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Sicilian-Style Pizza

Frozen bread dough, pizza sauce and lots of mozzarella cheese make it easy to make this pizzeria-style pizza at home.

Serves: 8 servings
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes
   
 
Vegetable cooking spray
2 loafs (1 pound each) frozen white bread dough, thawed
1 jar (14 ounces) Prego® Pizzeria Style Pizza Sauce
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese (about 8 ounces)

Heat the oven to 375°F. Spray a 15 x 10-inch jelly roll pan with the cooking spray.
Place the 2 loaves of dough into the pan. Press the dough to cover the bottom of the pan.  Pinch the edges of the dough to form a rim.  Spread the sauce on the dough to the rim. Top with the cheese.
Bake for 25 minutes or until the cheese is melted and the crust is brown.

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Swiss Vegetable Bake for a Crowd

You think they won't eat vegetables...think again.  This hearty and satisfying dish features a colorful vegetable combination stirred into a savory cream sauce, topped with Swiss cheese and fried onion rings. It's delicious!

Serves: 12 servings (about 2/3 cup each)
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 45 minutes
   
1 can (26 ounces) Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup
2/3 cup sour cream
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 bags (16 ounces each) frozen vegetable combination (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots), thawed
2 cups shredded Swiss cheese (about 8 ounces)
2 2/3 cups French's® French Fried Onions

Heat the oven to 350°F.

Stir the soup, sour cream and black pepper in a large bowl. Stir in the vegetables, 1 1/2 cups cheese and half the onions. Spoon the vegetable mixture into a 13 x 9 x 2-inch baking dish. Cover the baking dish.
Bake for 40 minutes or until the vegetables are tender. Stir the vegetable mixture. Sprinkle with the remaining cheese and onions.
Bake, uncovered, for 5 minutes or until the cheese is melted and the onions are golden brown.

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Creamed Onion Bake

Looking for a deliciously different side dish?  Try this cheesy creamed onion bake that features a secret ingredient - stuffing - that ensures that it's really good!

Serves: 6 servings (about 3/4 cup each)
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
   
       
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
1 1/2 cups Pepperidge Farm® Cornbread Stuffing
2 tablespoons chopped fresh Parsley or 2 teaspoons dried parsley flakes
3 large onion, cut in half and sliced (about 3 cups)
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
1/4 cup milk
1 cup frozen peas
1 cup Shredded Cheddar cheese (about 4 ounces)

Heat half the butter in a 1-quart saucepan over medium heat until melted.  Remove the saucepan from the heat.  Add the stuffing and parsley and mix lightly.
Heat the remaining butter in a 10-inch skillet over medium heat.  Add the onions and cook until tender, stirring occasionally.  Stir the soup, milk and peas in the skillet.
Spoon the soup mixture into a 2-quart shallow baking dish. Sprinkle with the cheese and the stuffing mixture.
Bake at 350°F. for 30 minutes or until the mixture is hot and bubbling.

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Today's Tip

Tea Makes a Tender Pot Roast
         
Here’s a simple way to make sure your pot roast is tender and juicy. Add 2 teabags (without the strings or tabs) of black Pekoe tea to the pot and cook as usual. Remove the teabags when the roast is done.

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JOKES:

Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, "Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gifts he requests."

Two days before Christmas, Johnny's father asked him what he wanted for Christmas. "I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake-up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage."

Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage. When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "What did Santa bring you this year?"Johnny replied,"I think I got a dog but I can't find the damn thing!":)

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You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.

There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it. - Chinese Proverb.

Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child; she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.:)

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Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"

"Hmm," says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test.":)

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A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it.

Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake.":)

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 Amusing Snowman JokesFunny Snowmen Jokes
  
 What do you call a snowman in the summer?
    A puddle.
  
 What do you call a snowman in the tropics?
    Lost.
  
 What happened when the shy snowgirl ditched her snowboy?
    She gave him the cold shoulder.
  
 What do cool snowmen wear on their heads ?
    Ice caps.
  
 What do snowmen eat for lunch?
    Ice-bergers.
 
  Where do snowmen go to dance?
    Snowballs.
  
 How do snowmen travel to the snow-field?
    By icicle.

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 The Saga of the Christmas Loser

Late home after a night out, a youngster attempted to climb into his home down the chimney.  He did not to want to wake other residents in the Judson Center social services agency; also he had broken his curfew and wanted no trouble.

In best Santa Claus mode he climbed onto the roof and let himself down the chimney; unfortunately he was too large, and he became stuck.  The 17 year old began moaning and was heard and rescued.  Fire fighters and police officers from the City of Royal Oak, Michigan, USA, had to pull him out.  The youth suffered from minor scrapes and bruises.

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How They Forecast a Cold Winter

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2011/12 was going to be cold or mild.  The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes.

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter.  However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Gaylord

'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief.  Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.

'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to

Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tidbits, Etc

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