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REMINDERS FROM GOD: "I made you to carry the weight of one day. Do not weigh yourself down with the years behind or the days ahead." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Off To A Good Start? Hebrews 10:36, NIV: "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Resolve, endurance, fortitude, perseverance, determination, steadfastness, tenacity--all characteristic of someone who holds the course, fights the good fight, and finishes the race. Many there are who with great bursts of energy jet from the starting line once inspired to follow Christ more closely. Many there are who quickly lose steam and falter, fade in their own strength, and fall far short of the finish line. So many of us start out strong, only to give up when the Christian life becomes a struggle. We grow weary. We tire. Our inspiration turns to hopelessness. Our enthusiasm becomes exhausted. Why is it so many of us give up? Perhaps we have forgotten what we live for, would fight for, and were at one time ready to die for. Perhaps the obstacles have taken toll and left us without of anything left to give. We do have hope in Christ. He will help us get through. But we must not lose sight of our purpose, goal and our Lord. We must not give up. We must not quit. We must find through Jesus the determination to carry on. Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.
- Leviticus 19:18 **************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: unctuous UNGK-choo-us , adjective;
1. Of the nature or quality of an unguent or ointment; fatty; oily; greasy.
2. Having a smooth, greasy feel, as certain minerals.
3. Insincerely or excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech; marked by a false or smug earnestness or agreeableness. Quotes:
A warmed, crusty French roll arrives split, lightly smeared with unctuous chopped liver.
-- John Kessler, "Meals To Go: Break from the routine with Hong", Atlanta Journal and Constitution , October 22, 1998
She recalled being offended by the "phoniness" that stemmed from the contradiction between her mother's charming, even unctuous public manner and her anger in private.
-- Daniel Horowitz, Betty Friedan And the Making of 'The Feminine Mystique'
He approached Sean wearing a smile so unctuous it seemed about to slide right off his face.
-- Naeem Murr, The Boy Origin:
Unctuous is from Medieval Latin unctuosus , from Latin unctus , "anointed, besmeared, greasy," past participle of unguere , "to anoint, to besmear." ************************ You might be a REDNECK if...
...you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
You might be a REDNECK if...
...the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
You might be a REDNECK if...
...your car is on cement blocks in the backyard
THINGS TO PONDER: Why do people look up when they think?
THINGS TO PONDER: Where do swear words come from?
THING TO PONDER: Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing?
"For every failure, there's an alternative
course of action. You just have to find it.
When you come to a roadblock, take a detour."
- Mary Kay Ash ****************************** Blueberry Jello Salad Servings: 9-12 Servings
Prep Time: 20 mins
Total Time: 20 mins Ingredients: 2 (2 ounce) packages raspberry Jell-O gelatin
2 cups boiling water
1 (20 ounce) can crushed pineapple
8 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup nuts (optional)
1 (12 ounce) package frozen blueberries
1/2 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon vanilla Directions: 1 Dissolve Jello in boiling water. Pour into 12"x8"x2" dish. Add pineapple and blueberries. Chill or flash freeze until soft set. Combine cream cheese, sour cream, sugar and vanilla; beat until smooth and creamy. Spread evenly over salad. Sprinkle nuts on top
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Smoky Black Bean Soup This will probably be the most hauntingly delicious black bean soup you’ve ever tasted. The coffee adds a slightly toasty, woodsy background note. The optional ham hock adds smoky, salty ham flavor. Serve with a mixed green salad or a grilled cheese sandwich with pickled jalapeños 6 servings, 1 1/3 cups each
Active Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 2 hours (not including bean-soaking time) Ingredients
1 pound dried black beans (2 cups)
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 medium onions, finely chopped, 1/3 cup reserved for garnish
1 red bell pepper, finely chopped
2 large stalks celery, chopped
1 jalapeño pepper, seeded and finely chopped
3 large cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon ground cumin
4 cups water
2 cups brewed coffee
1 ham hock (optional)
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon salt, plus more if needed
6 tablespoons reduced-fat sour cream or plain Greek yogurt for garnish
Chopped fresh cilantro for garnish
Preparation
Pick over beans; rinse well. Place in a large bowl with cold water to cover by 2 inches. Let soak for at least 6 hours or overnight. (Or use the quick-soak method: Cover the beans with 2 inches of water and bring to a boil; simmer 2 minutes. Remove from the heat and let stand, covered, for 1 hour.) Drain.
Heat oil in a soup pot or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add all but 1/3 cup of the onions, bell pepper, celery, jalapeño and garlic and cook, stirring frequently, until the vegetables are beginning to brown, 5 to 8 minutes. Add cumin and cook, stirring, 1 minute more. Add the beans, water, coffee, ham hock (if using) and bay leaf; cover and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Skim off any foam that rises to the top, reduce the heat, cover and simmer until the beans are very tender, 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hours. If using, remove the ham hock and set it aside to cool; remove the bay leaf. Stir in salt.
Puree about half of the soup in a blender or food processor until fairly smooth. (Use caution when pureeing hot liquids.) Return the pureed soup to the pot and heat through. If desired, cut meat off the ham hock, trim away any fat and chop the meat into small pieces; stir back into the soup.
Serve the soup garnished with the reserved chopped onion, a dollop of sour cream (or yogurt) and cilantro, if desired.
Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Prepare through Step 3, cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days; thin with a little water if necessary after reheating. Nutrition
Per serving: 298 calories; 8 g fat ( 2 g sat , 4 g mono ); 6 mg cholesterol; 43 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 15 g protein; 15 g fiber; 423 mg sodium; 768 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Folate (64% daily value), Vitamin C (50% dv), Magnesium (31% dv), Potassium (22% dv), Iron (21% dv), Vitamin A (16% dv).
********************************
Hamburger Buddy Very finely chopping onion, mushrooms and carrots in the food processor is not only fast—it makes the vegetables hard to detect for picky eaters. They also form the base for the sauce of this ground beef skillet supper. Make it a meal: Serve with a green salad. Ingredients
3 cloves garlic, crushed and peeled
2 medium carrots, cut into 2-inch pieces
10 ounces white mushrooms, large ones cut in half
1 large onion, cut into 2-inch pieces
1 pound 90%-lean ground beef
2 teaspoons dried thyme
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
2 cups water
1 14-ounce can reduced-sodium beef broth, divided
8 ounces whole-wheat elbow noodles, (2 cups)
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 cup reduced-fat sour cream
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley, or chives for garnish Preparation
Fit a food processor with the steel blade attachment. With the motor running, drop garlic through the feed tube and process until minced, then add carrots and mushrooms and process until finely chopped. Turn it off, add onion, and pulse until roughly chopped.
Cook beef in a large straight-sided skillet or Dutch oven over medium-high heat, breaking it up with a wooden spoon, until no longer pink, 3 to 5 minutes. Stir in the chopped vegetables, thyme, salt and pepper and cook, stirring often, until the vegetables start to soften and the mushrooms release their juices, 5 to 7 minutes.
Stir in water, 1 1/2 cups broth, noodles and Worcestershire sauce; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to medium and cook, stirring occasionally, until the pasta is tender, 8 to 10 minutes.
Whisk flour with the remaining 1/4 cup broth in a small bowl until smooth; stir into the hamburger mixture. Stir in the sour cream. Simmer, stirring often, until the sauce is thickened, about 2 minutes. Serve sprinkled with parsley (or chives), if desired. Nutrition
Per serving: 326 calories; 10 g fat ( 4 g sat , 3 g mono ); 54 mg cholesterol; 38 g carbohydrates; 23 g protein; 4 g fiber; 431 mg sodium; 644 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin A (70% daily value), Zinc (33% dv), Iron (20% dv), Potassium (18% dv).
******************************
Mini Mushroom-&-Sausage Quiches These crustless mini quiches are like portable omelets. Turkey sausage and sauteed mushrooms keep them light and savory. Small and satisfying, they're also a good finger food for your next cocktail party. Ingredients
8 ounces turkey breakfast sausage, removed from casing and crumbled into small pieces
1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil
8 ounces mushrooms, sliced
1/4 cup sliced scallions
1/4 cup shredded Swiss cheese
1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
5 eggs
3 egg whites
1 cup 1% milk Preparation
Position rack in center of oven; preheat to 325°F. Coat a nonstick muffin tin generously with cooking spray (see Tip).
Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add sausage and cook until golden brown, 6 to 8 minutes. Transfer to a bowl to cool. Add oil to the pan. Add mushrooms and cook, stirring often, until golden brown, 5 to 7 minutes. Transfer mushrooms to the bowl with the sausage. Let cool for 5 minutes. Stir in scallions, cheese and pepper.
Whisk eggs, egg whites and milk in a medium bowl. Divide the egg mixture evenly among the prepared muffin cups. Sprinkle a heaping tablespoon of the sausage mixture into each cup.
Bake until the tops are just beginning to brown, 25 minutes. Let cool on a wire rack for 5 minutes. Place a rack on top of the pan, flip it over and turn the quiches out onto the rack. Turn upright and let cool completely. Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Individually wrap in plastic and refrigerate for up to 3 days or freeze for up to 1 month. To reheat, remove plastic, wrap in a paper towel and microwave on High for 30 to 60 seconds.
A good-quality nonstick muffin tin works best for this recipe. If you don't have one, line a regular muffin tin with foil baking cups. Nutrition
Per quiche: 90 calories; 5 g fat ( 2 g sat , 1 g mono ); 105 mg cholesterol; 3 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 9 g protein; 0 g fiber; 217 mg sodium; 108 mg potassium.
******************************
Pecan & Mushroom Burgers
Filled with toasted pecans, vinegar-splashed mushrooms and bulgur, these burgers have an earthy, nutty character that pairs perfectly with the luxurious Blue Cheese Sauce. 8 servings
Active Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour Ingredients
2/3 cup bulgur
3/4 teaspoon salt, divided
1 cup boiling water
6 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
8 ounces white or brown mushrooms, stems trimmed, wiped clean and chopped
1 1/2 cups chopped onion, (1 large)
1 1/2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
3/4 cup pecan halves
Blue Cheese Sauce, optional (recipe follows)
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1/2 cup fine dry breadcrumbs
Freshly ground pepper, to taste
8 whole-wheat buns, (optional)
Watercress, for garnish This recipe calls for:
Blue Cheese Sauce Preparation
Place bulgur and 1/4 teaspoon salt in a small bowl. Pour the boiling water over, cover and set aside until the water is absorbed, about 20 minutes. Drain in a sieve, pressing out excess liquid.
Meanwhile, heat 2 teaspoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add mushrooms, onion and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt; cook, stirring, until the vegetables are softened, 8 to 10 minutes. Stir in vinegar. Immediately transfer the mixture to a plate and let cool to room temperature, about 30 minutes.
Toast pecans in a small dry skillet over medium-low heat, stirring, until fragrant, 4 to 6 minutes. Transfer to a plate to cool.
Prepare Blue Cheese Sauce, if using.
Combine the vegetable mixture and pecans in a food processor; pulse briefly until coarsely chopped. Add egg and the bulgur; pulse briefly, scraping down the sides if necessary, until the mixture is cohesive but roughly textured. Transfer to a bowl; stir in breadcrumbs and pepper. Mix well.
With dampened hands, form the mixture into eight 1/2-inch-thick patties, using about 1/2 cup for each.
Using 2 teaspoons oil per batch, cook 4 patties at a time in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat until evenly browned and heated through, about 4 minutes per side. Meanwhile, split and toast buns, if using, to serve the burgers on. Garnish the burgers with watercress and the cheese sauce, if desired. Tips & Notes
Make Ahead Tip: Prepare through step 6. Wrap patties individually and refrigerate for up to 2 days or freeze for up to 3 months. Thaw in the refrigerator before cooking. Nutrition
Per serving (without buns or garnishes): 197 calories; 12 g fat ( 1 g sat , 7 g mono ); 26 mg cholesterol; 19 g carbohydrates; 5 g protein; 4 g fiber; 282 mg sodium; 241 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Fiber (17% daily value) Carbohydrate Servings: 1/2 Exchanges: 1 starch, 1/2 vegetable, 2 fat ******************************** A sweet grandmother
telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,
"Is it possible to speak to someone
who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said,
"I'll be glad to help, dear.
What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said,
"Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied,
"Let me put you on hold
while I check with the nurse's station for that room." After a few minutes,
the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news
Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.
Her blood pressure is fine;
her blood work just came back normal, and her physician,
Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow." The grandmother said,
"Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried.
God bless you for the good news." The operator replied,
"You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" The grandmother said,"No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302.
No one tells me shit." TRUE STORY ****************************** An Irish Family Tradition Paddy, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother. 'Granny,' he asked, "It's me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like me fa, his fa, and his fa before him?" Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said, "Because your fa, your grandfa and your great grandfa were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August, ya dip shit. ****************************** Banking in Toronto
A Newfie walked into a bank in Toronto and asked for the loans officer. He told the loans officer that he was going to Newfoundland on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000, however he was not a depositor of the bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Newfie handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Newfie produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Newfie for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it. Two weeks later, the Newfie returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The Newfie replied: 'Where else in Toronto can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?' Ah, Newfies...... See! Salt Beef is good for the brain. ******************************** A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM ALBERTA COUNSELED HIS GRANDSON THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HIS OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDSON DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN HE DIED. HE LEFT BEHIND 14 CHILDREN, 30 GRANDCHILDREN, 45 GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, 25 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, AND A 15-FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE. ****************************** A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.' While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last numberd then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son..... 'Go get your Mother' ****************************** FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: Freedom and Responsibility
"Why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat . . . each will give an account of himself to God."1
Margaret Thatcher, former Prime Minister of England, said, "I remember being taught by my parents, from my earliest childhood, that the one thing about being British was you did not have to be told what to do. You rose to your responsibilities and took the initiative. Religious belief played a fundamental part in shaping that character because, whether you take the Old Testament or the New Testament, it puts the emphasis on the dignity and responsibility of the individual. You are accountable because you have freedom." We, too, have freedom which is a priceless privilege. However, some people seem to think they can use their freedom to do as they please both before man and God. As such they are not free but are in bondage to their own selfishness, passions, and lust. They confuse liberty with license forgetting that the price of freedom is still eternal vigilance, which includes moral and ethical responsibility. Ultimately, if we continue to abuse our freedom and privileges, we will lose them. With freedom comes responsibility and with responsibility, accountability. We are accountable to our fellow man and above all we are accountable to God. As God's word says, "For we must all stand before God's judgment seat." And again, "It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment."2 Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to so live that I will always act responsibly, that my life will always bring glory to your name, and that I will not be ashamed when I stand before you face to face. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
******************************
WORD FOR THE DAY: osculateAHSS-kyuh-layt DEFINITION
verb : kiss EXAMPLES "I've been osculated by everyone in the building!" Kevin exclaimed, wiping his cheeks to remove the vestiges of kisses planted there by adoring family on his wedding day. "When a pretty girl steps forward fully puckered up and expecting an appropriate response, it would be ungentlemanly to turn away…. But is there a correct way to osculate…?" -- From an article in The Sentinel (UK), February 22, 2010 DID YOU KNOW?
"Osculate" comes from the Latin noun "osculum," meaning "kiss" or "little mouth." It was included in a dictionary of "hard" words in 1656, but we have no evidence that anyone actually used it until the 19th century, except for scientists who used it differently, to mean "contact." Today, "osculate" is used in geometry for the action of a pair of curves or surfaces that touch so that they have a common tangent at the point of contact. When "osculate" is used to mean "kiss," the context is often humorous. ******************************** TODAY'S PET TIP - Canine Pregnancy
The average canine pregnancy lasts approximately 64 to 66 days. During the first two-thirds of her pregnancy, keep the dog on her normal maintenance diet. The fetus will grow most rapidly during the third trimester; this is when the mother needs a higher-calorie diet (calories and nutrients should be 1 1/2 times greater than the maintenance diet). Do not add supplements or medications unless advised by your veterinarian. Pregnancy diagnosis is usually first reliable around 18 to 19 days of gestation.
********************************* Chihuahua Nearly a Snack for Owl - Read This Story I recently read this story that I thought I'd share with you today. Once more it goes to show you just never know what will happen. The story is about a Chihuahua vs. a Great Horned Owl. This is a true story taken from an insurance claim submitted to Veterinary Pet Insurance (VPI).
As you may know, the Chihuahua is many things: pet, actor, mascot and even fashion accessory. If it hadn't been for the quick actions last month of a pet owner in Crystal Lake, Ill., however, "snack" very well could have been added to that list.
"It was around 1:30 in the morning," Dana Kalomiris said, "and my husband George had taken our 3 year-old Chihuahua, Chico, outside for a bathroom break. They hadn't gone very far outside before George heard whimpering and then Chico made a sharp cry. When George turned around, he couldn't believe his eyes. A Great Horned Owl had silently swooped down and snatched Chico in its talons!" With Chico secured to his dog leash, it was a game of tug of war between George and a determined bird with a five-foot wingspan. The owl tried to fly off with Chico but, having become tangled in the leash, it instead dragged Chico through the snow. "George was eye to eye with this owl," Dana said, "and he's screaming and lunging and just trying to do everything to get Chico free." George frightened the large owl enough so that it let go of Chico and flew away. George inspected the startled and battered Chico and discovered that one of the owl's talons had caused a small puncture wound just behind the right foreleg.
Dana and George rushed the Chihuahua to an emergency veterinary hospital near their home. Chico had been very lucky. Although one of the owl's talons managed to puncture Chico's side, the winter jacket the dog had been wearing during his walk acted as a sort of bulletproof vest and blocked a second talon from causing a far more serious wound. "The veterinarian said that if that talon had made it through the vest and into Chico, it would have killed him," Dana said. X-rays revealed a shallow puncture wound on Chico's side, and the dog was sent home with antibiotics and pain medication.
Dana said that Chico's injury has healed remarkably well, and that the unexpected nature of the owl attack left everyone in the family feeling protective of Chico. "The first time we took him outside again," Dana said, "four of us stood around him in a circle so that nothing could get to him."
The Kalomiris' claim for Chico's owl attack was one of more than 80,000 claims received in the month of January by the Pet Insurance Co. they use. The Kalomiris'claim was considered along with other uncommon medical claims submitted in January and selected by VPI as the most unusual of the bunch. So again, you just never know what will happen and when. Pet insurance is a great way to know you can do the best for your pet without worrying about money ***************************** Removing Skunk Odor
Skunked again? This time forget the tomato juice. Try a mixture of 10 parts hydrogen peroxide to 1 part baking soda.
Add a dash of degreasing dishwashing soap and pour into a spray bottle. Spray liberally over dry coat and allow to air dry. Avoid eyes. Works on inanimate objects, too!
******************************** Party Meatballs Meatballs are always a crowd-pleaser and these are no exception. Ready in less than an hour and beautifully sauced, they are a lovely buffet addition. Serves: 0
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 20
1 1/2 lbs. ground beef
1/3 cup finely chopped onion
1/3 cup dry bread crumbs
1 egg, beaten
1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell's Condensed Golden Mushroom Soup
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup water
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
chopped fresh parsley
Thoroughly mix the beef, onion, bread crumbs and egg in a large bowl. Shape the beef mixture into 60 (1-inch) meatballs. Place the meatballs into a 15x10-inch baking pan.
Heat the broiler. Broil the meatballs 4-inches from the heat for 5 minutes or until well browned, turning the meatballs over halfway through cooking.
Stir the soup, sour cream, water and Worcestershire in a 12-inch skillet. Add the meatballs and cook over low heat for 10 minutes or until the meatballs are cooked through, stirring occaionally. Sprinkle with the parsley.
*********************** Dirty Rice with Shrimp
Serve a tasty (and different) main dish for the family! Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 29 minutes
2 tablespoons cooking oil
1/2 pound ground pork
1 onion, chopped
2 ribs celery, diced
1 green bell pepper, diced
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1 bay leaf
1 3/4 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1 1/2 cups long grain rice
3 cups canned low sodium chicken broth
1 pound medium shrimp, shelled and halved
2 scallions, including green tops, sliced
In a large saucepan, heat 1 tablespoon of the oil over moderate heat. Add the pork and cook until the meat is no longer pink, about 2 minutes.
Reduce the heat to moderately low and add the remaining tablespoon oil to the pan. Add the onion, celery, bell pepper, and garlic. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables start to soften, about 5 minutes. Stir in the cayenne, paprika, oregano, bay leaf, salt, black pepper, and rice. Cook for 1 minute, stirring. Add the broth. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer, covered, for 15 minutes.
Raise the heat to moderate and stir in the shrimp. Cover and cook for 2 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and let stand, covered, until the rice and shrimp are just done, about 5 minutes longer. Remove the bay leaf. Stir in the scallions.
********************** New Orleans Shrimp Toss Here's something different to make for dinner...served over prepared cornbread or biscuits, this quick-cooking shrimp dish features a creamy Cajun-seasoned sauce that's bursting with great flavor. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 10 minutes 1 lb. large shrimp, shelled and deveined
2 tbsp. vegetable oil
2 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp. Cajun seasoning
1 medium onion , chopped (about 1/2 cup)
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 can Campbell’s® Condensed Cream of Chicken with Herbs Soup
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp. paprika
2 tbsp. chopped fresh chives
corn bread or biscuits Stir the shrimp, 1 tablespoon oil, lemon juice, Worcestershire and Cajun seasoning in a medium bowl.
Heat the remaining oil in a 10-inch skillet over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic and cook until they're tender.
Stir the soup, milk and paprika in the skillet. Heat to a boil. Add the shrimp mixture. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes or until the shrimp turn pink. Garnish with the chives. Serve with cornbread. ********************************* Chicken Creole with Chile Cream Sauce Lime juice adds a burst of freshness to this flavorful sautéed chicken dish, seasoned with Cajun seasoning and zesty green chiles. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 25 minutes 4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts (about 1 lb.)
2 tsp. Creole or Cajun seasoning
1 tbsp. olive oil
1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
1/2 cup water
1 can (4 oz.) chopped green chiles
1 tsp. lime juice
1/4 cup sour cream
Hot cooked regular long-grain white rice Season the chicken with the Creole seasoning.
Heat the oil in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chicken and cook until well browned on both sides.
Stir the soup, water, chiles and lime juice in the skillet and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cook for 5 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through.
Stir in the sour cream and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling. Serve the chicken and sauce with the rice. ****************************** Red Potato-Corned Beef Hash and Eggs in Puff Pastry Shells This elegant recipe makes the perfect dish to make your guests feel welcome and special. It takes a little more time than a quick batch of scrambled eggs, but it's worth every minute...the results look terrific and taste even better Serves: 6
Prep. time: 35 minutes
Cooking time: 30 minutes 4 cups Swanson® Chicken Broth or Swanson® Chicken Stock
2 medium red potatoes, cut into cubes (about 2 cups)
1 package (10 ounces) Pepperidge Farm® Puff Pastry Shells, prepared according to package directions
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 large green pepper or red pepper, chopped (about 1 cup)
1 medium onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
1 stalk celery, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
1/2 pound cooked corned beef, cut into cubes
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley or fines herbes
1 tablespoon white vinegar
6 eggs
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell's® Condensed Cheddar Cheese Soup
1 cup heavy cream Heat the oven to 400°F. Heat the broth in a 2-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil. Add the potatoes. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 10 minutes or until the potatoes are tender. Drain the potatoes well in a colander.
Heat the oil in a 10-inch skillet over medium heat. Add the pepper, onion and celery. Cook for 10 minutes or until the vegetables are tender, stirring occasionally.
Stir the potatoes and corned beef in the skillet. Increase the heat to medium-high. Cook and stir for 5 minutes. Stir in the parsley.
Pour water into a 12-inch deep-sided skillet to 2 inches deep and heat to a simmer. Do not boil. Stir in the vinegar. Crack 1 egg into a cup and pour it gently into the water. Repeat with the remaining eggs. Gently push the egg whites closer to the yolks. Turn off the heat and cover the skillet. Let stand for 4 minutes or until the egg whites are set. Remove the eggs from the skillet with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels. Cover and keep warm.
Heat the soup and cream in a 2-quart saucepan over medium heat until the mixture is hot and bubbling, stirring often.
Spoon the potato mixture into the pastry shells. Top each with 1 egg. Spoon the soup mixture over the eggs. Serve immediately. Easy Substitution Tip: Use leftover cooked turkey or roast beef for the corned beef. ******************************** Tuna Bake with Blush Sauce This fabulous version of tuna casserole is special because it's made with a combination of cream of mushroom soup and Italian sauce. Mixed with lots of cheese and topped with crushed croutons, this one's a keeper. Serves: 5
Prep. time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 30 minutes 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (regular or 98% Fat Free)
1/2 cup milk
1 1/2 cups Prego Traditional Italian Sauce or Prego Organic Tomato & Basil Italian Sauce
1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese (about 4 ozs.)
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 - of a 1- pound package medium shell-shaped pasta, cooked and drained (about 4 cups)
1 can (about 6 oz.) tuna, drained and flaked
1/2 cup Pepperidge Farm Seasoned Croutons, coarsely crushed Stir the soup and milk in a large bowl. Stir in the Italian sauce, Monterey Jack cheese and Parmesan cheese. Add the pasta and tuna and toss gently to coat. Spoon the tuna mixture into a 2-quart shallow baking dish.
Bake at 350°F. for 25 minutes. Top with the croutons and bake for 5 minutes or until the tuna mixture is hot and bubbling. *************************
Home radiation Tester With all the fear of radiation fallout from Japan I thought it might be useful to tell you about a cheap, effective, homemade radiation tester you can easily assemble and rely upon.
Follow these simple instructions, IT REALLY WORKS!!
OPEN A BAG OF ORVILLE REDENBOCKER MICROWAVE POPCORN, LEAVE ON YOUR TABLE, IF IT STARTS POPPING, YOU’RE SCREWED!
*************************
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!!
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World". --We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot. --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years. Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you. P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country. ************************* Little Johnny’s sister… Oh No!!! He has a sister????????????
Little Johnny’s sister Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, "Really small, was it?"
Sally replied, "No... Salty." Mom fainted.
************************* SEMPER FI
*Augusta, GA*
*Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Georgia, told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.* *Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to be severe.* *After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment. The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw... injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine.* Now that was a well written Police report. ************************* Good morning to all my politically incorrect friends!
A twin-engine plane has one of its engines fail, altitude and air speed are rapidly decreasing ...
The pilot speaks over the intercom. "I'm sorry it had to come to this folks, but unfortunately we're gonna have to jettison baggage in order for the aircraft to remain airborne."
Baggage is thrown out, but the plane's speed continues to decrease.
Again the pilot gets on the intercom; "I hate to have to do this, but now we're gonna have to start off-loading passengers. The only fair way to do it is alphabetically, so we'll start with the letter – Aâ€.
"Africans, any Africans on board?" No one answers "Ok then – Bâ€. "Black people, any black people?"
Again, silence.
"C - Coloured people, any Coloured people on board?"
Silence.
A little black boy in the back turns to his mother. "But Mom, ain't we African? Ain’t we Black? Ain't we Coloured?"
"Yes son, but for the purpose of this exercise we is Niggas.
Let dem Muslims go first."
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Breathe in the rich blessings of each new day. Forget all that lies behind you." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Off To A Good Start? Hebrews 10:36, NIV: "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Resolve, endurance, fortitude, perseverance, determination, steadfastness, tenacity--all characteristic of someone who holds the course, fights the good fight, and finishes the race. Many there are who with great bursts of energy jet from the starting line once inspired to follow Christ more closely. Many there are who quickly lose steam and falter, fade in their own strength, and fall far short of the finish line. So many of us start out strong, only to give up when the Christian life becomes a struggle. We grow weary. We tire. Our inspiration turns to hopelessness. Our enthusiasm becomes exhausted. Why is it so many of us give up? Perhaps we have forgotten what we live for, would fight for, and were at one time ready to die for. Perhaps the obstacles have taken toll and left us without of anything left to give. We do have hope in Christ. He will help us get through. But we must not lose sight of our purpose, goal and our Lord. We must not give up. We must not quit. We must find through Jesus the determination to carry on.
And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle.
- Exodus 33:11
Psalm 14:1
“For the director of music. Of David. The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.†They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good.†*************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: riddle • RID-ul • noun
1 : a mystifying, misleading, or puzzling question posed as a problem to be solved or guessed : conundrum, enigma 2 : something or someone difficult to understand Examples:
Despite Nick's outgoing nature, he doesn't share many details about his background and personal life, so he remains something of a riddle. "Beginning with his landmark work alongside partner Carl Bernstein on Nixon's Watergate scandal, through books on the administrations of Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama, Woodward has devoted a near-40-year career to unraveling the riddle of how power works in Washington, D.C." -- From an article by Eric Deggans in Florida's St. Petersburg Times, March 16, 2011 **************************** THINGS TO PONDER: Why does your nose run and your feet smell? You might be a REDNECK if...
...there is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house
"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes."
- Andrew Carnegie "Chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions." - Aldous Huxley Ambrose Bierce
"Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head." Mitch Hedberg
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down." Tracey Ullman
"I think serial monogamy says it all." ********************** Johnny had just received his brand new drivers license. The family goes out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the new driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to the his dad. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years!" ************************* What's best for my computer: Hibernate, sleep, or shut down? By Morieka Johnson, Mother Nature Network
Q: Does putting my computer to sleep help extend the battery life? What else can I do to save energy and make my new computer last?
A: We’ve all heard stories about what's best for a computer’s battery. That’s why I was excited to make friends with Fred Peters, president of Huntington Beach IT Services. In addition to teaching computing courses in Orange County, Calif., Peters happily makes house calls to revive frazzled computers and the people who rely on them. Here are his expert tips on how to keep your new laptop running smoothly. Sleep mode vs. shutting down Peters notes that your work process will determine whether it’s more efficient to use “Sleep†mode or simply shut down the computer. “It is never fun to have to consistently wait any amount of time if the shut downs are too frequent,†he says. "‘Sleep’ requires more power, but it boots up faster, while ‘Hibernate’ uses less power, but takes longer to come online.†That same logic applies to shutting off your computer completely. “Your computer will become obsolete before you wear out your computer by turning it on and off a lot,†he adds. “It also doesn't take more energy to start a computer than to keep it running.†Sleep mode requires a constant, though reduced use of power (0-6 watts). Peters also notes that colorful screensavers do nothing to conserve energy. Accessing your computer remotely with the Wake on LAN feature also can drain the power. To get the most for your money, Peters advises adjusting power settings so that it automatically goes into Sleep/Standby mode after about 15 minutes of inactivity, and then shut it down at the end of your day. Bionic battery life To get the most out of your computer battery, Peters says to you have to give it a workout. Don’t keep your machine plugged in to an outlet. Instead, discharge the battery daily. Size does matter By purchasing a laptop, Peters says that you are ahead in the energy-saving game. Laptops use about 15-60 watts, while desktops use 65-250 watts — plus another 15-80 watts for a monitor. He also adds that you can further conserve energy by using an LCD monitor and ditching the high-end video card unless it’s absolutely necessary. Also, turn off printers and other peripherals when they are not in use. To kill “vampire power,†TreeHugger.com suggests purchasing a power strip. With all peripherals connected to one source, it’s easy to simply flip the switch on power hogs any time. Establish a backup process In addition to Peters’ great advice about conserving energy, I discovered the hard way that it also pays to save backup versions of your work. Invest in an external hard drive to hold your digital music library, special photos, and other key documents. Frequent backups ensure that your data doesn’t die with your laptop. While you are in the process of backing things up, create an emergency file (on good old-fashioned paper) that contains your computer’s serial number along with other key data such as your credit card numbers and phone numbers to reach each company, along with contact info to your insurance company. Access to that information is vital, particularly in the event of an accident, fire, computer theft, or other catastrophe. Peters warns that those key pieces of information are not safe on your computer. If you are like me and absolutely need a digital holding space for those nuggets of information, he suggests sites like LastPass as your online vault. Happy computing! *********************** Tips on Dog Drooling By: Dr. Debra Primovic
Why do dogs drool? Drooling can be normal in some dogs, especially some breeds such as Great Danes or Basset Hounds. Excessive drooling can occur in any dog and can be caused by a variety of reasons. For example, some dogs may drool when they smell certain foods or are excited. Other dogs will drool if they are nauseated or have an oral abnormality such as a dental problem or something caught in their mouths. Ptyalism is the term used to describe excessive salivation or drooling. ************************* Extra-Easy Spinach Lasagna No need to cook the lasagna noodles...just layer them right in the pan with the cheeses, spinach and tomato-mushroom sauce. Serves: 8
Prep. time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 50 mins.
1 container (15 oz.) ricotta cheese
1 pkg. (10 oz.) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and well drained
8 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese (about 2 cups)
1 jar (24 oz.) Prego Fresh Mushroom Pasta Sauce
6 uncooked lasagna noodles
1/4 cup water
Stir the ricotta cheese, spinach and 1 cup mozzarella cheese in a medium bowl.
Spread 1 cup sauce in a 2-quart shallow baking dish. Top with 3 lasagna noodles and half the spinach mixture. Repeat the layers. Top with the remaining sauce. Slowly pour water around the inside edges of the baking dish. Cover. Bake at 400°F. for 40 minutes. Uncover the dish. Sprinkle with the remaining mozzarella cheese. Bake for 10 minutes or until it's hot and bubbling. Let stand for 10 minutes. Tip: To thaw the spinach, microwave on HIGH for 3 minutes, breaking apart with a fork halfway through heating.
****************************** Emeril's Herb-Crusted Halibut The herb crust provides a zesty crunch that brightens up a halibut fillet. The simplicity of this dish makes it perfect for a weeknight dinner and yet still sophisticated enough for weekend entertaining. If you cannot find halibut at your local fish market, substitute another mild, flaky white fish Ingredients 4 tsp. chopped lemon zest
4 tsp. chopped fresh dill leaves
4 tsp. chopped fresh parsley leaves
4 tsp. chopped fresh chervil leaves
2 tbsp. cracked black pepper
Four 6-ounce halibut fillets, skinned
1 1/2 tsp. salt
4 tsp. Dijon mustard
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
4 c. fresh arugula leaves, rinsed and spun dry
2 tbsp. olive oil
Directions
1. In a shallow bowl, combine the lemon zest, dill, parsley, chervil, and black pepper. 2. Season the fish with 1 1/4 tsp. of the salt. Then lightly brush one side of each fillet with 1 tsp. of the Dijon mustard. Firmly press the mustard-coated side of each fillet into the lemon-herb mixture. 3. Heat the vegetable oil in a skillet (preferably non-stick). Place the fillets, coated side down, in the hot oil and cook until the crust turns golden, 3 to 3.5 minutes. Flip them over and continue to cook until the fish flakes easily, about 3 minutes. 4. Meanwhile, toss the arugula with the olive oil in a medium bowl, and season with the remaining 1/4 tsp. of salt. Divide the arugula evenly among four serving plates. 5. Place a halibut fillet on each mound of arugula, and serve immediately. Makes: 4 servings
******************************
Buttermilk Cornbread Serves: 10
Total Time: 40 min
Prep Time: 15 min
Oven Temp: 350
Ingredients
1 1/2 cup(s) coarse cornmeal
1 cup(s) all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tablespoon(s) kosher salt
1 teaspoon(s) baking soda
3 large eggs
1 1/2 cup(s) buttermilk
1 stick(s) unsalted butter, melted, plus more for greasing pan
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a medium bowl, whisk together cornmeal, flour, salt, and baking soda. In a separate bowl, whisk eggs. Add buttermilk. Stir egg mixture into cornmeal mixture, then stir in melted butter. Whisk until ingredients are combined.
Butter a 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Pour cornbread batter into prepared pan and bake until a toothpick inserted in the center tests clean, about 25 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool before slicing. ****************************** Chili Mac 'n' Cheddar Soup Everything a cold-weather meal should be: cheesy, beefy, and dotted with tender pasta. Serves: 6 Yields: 8 cups
Total Time: 34 min
Prep Time: 10 min
Prep Time: 24 min
Ingredients
1 tablespoon(s) olive oil
1 large onion, diced
3/4 pound(s) lean ground beef
1 tablespoon(s) hot Mexican chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoon(s) ground cumin
2 1/2 cup(s) milk
1 can(s) (14 1/2-ounce) reduced-sodium chicken broth
1 can(s) (10 3/4-ounce) condensed cheddar-cheese soup
1 1/2 cup(s) uncooked elbow pasta
1 1/2 cup(s) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
Diced tomato, for garnish
Tortilla chips, for garnish
Minced jalapeño chile, for garnish Directions Heat oil in a 5-quart soup pot over medium-high heat; add onion and sauté 4 minutes, until translucent. Crumble beef into pot and cook, stirring for 4 minutes or until no longer pink. Stir in chili powder and cumin; cook, stirring, for 2 minutes.
Add milk and broth, then stir in condensed soup until dissolved; bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer 3 minutes. Stir in pasta; continue to cook, covered, 5 minutes. Stir in cheese until melted and smooth. Remove from heat; let stand 5 minutes or until pasta is fully cooked.
Ladle soup into bowls and garnish with diced tomato, tortilla chips, and minced chile.
******************************
Best-Ever Apple Cake This delicious cake has earned its designation as "Best-Ever." You may not be able to stop with just once slice. Serves: 12 Edit
yields: 12 slices
Prep Time: 30 min
Time: 1 hr 20 min
Oven Temp: 350
Ingredients 3/4 cup(s) chopped pecans
3 cup(s) all-purpose flour
2 cup(s) sugar
2 teaspoon(s) ground cinnamon
4 large baking apples, peeled, cored, and sliced
1 tablespoon(s) baking powder
1 teaspoon(s) salt
4 large eggs
1/2 cup(s) vegetable oil
1/2 cup(s) (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
1/4 cup(s) orange juice
2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract Directions Heat oven to 350°F. Spray a 10-inch removable-bottom tube pan with nonstick spray. Sprinkle pecans evenly on bottom of pan.
In a large bowl, mix 2 tablespoons of the flour, 1/4 cup of the sugar, and cinnamon. Add apples and toss to combine.
In another large bowl, mix remaining flour, remaining sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add eggs, oil, butter, orange juice, and vanilla extract. Beat until batter is smooth.
Pour half of the batter (about 2 cups) into prepared pan. Top with half of apple mixture. Spoon remaining batter over apples and top with remaining apples, placing them 1/4 inch in from the tube and the border of the cake.
Bake 1 hour and 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Let cake cool in pan on a wire rack for 30 minutes. Run a paring knife around the sides and center of cake and turn cake out onto wire rack. Invert cake onto another rack to cool, apple side up. ****************************** Lentil Soup Serves: 4 Edit
Total Time: 55 min
Prep Time: 10 min Ingredients 2 slice(s) bacon, chopped
2/3 cup(s) frozen chopped onion
1 cup(s) lentils, rinsed
1 package(s) (10 ounces) frozen mixed vegetables
5 1/2 cup(s) water
1/2 teaspoon(s) dried basil
1 tablespoon(s) sherry
1 1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
Croutons Directions Cook bacon and onion in large pot over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, 5 to 8 minutes until onion is tender. Stir in lentils, vegetables, water, and basil. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer, 35 minutes. Stir in sherry and salt.
Cool soup slightly. Puree soup in food processor or in a blender in small batches. Serve topped with croutons. ****************************** A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?" "Yes," his wife replied.
"I married into the family." ****************************** Clearly I was not going to win the battle of the bulge on my own, so I decided to join a gym. "Before you start working out, we like to do a health assessment," explained the gym representative. "When you come in, wear loose-fitting clothing." "If I had loose-fitting clothing, we wouldn't be having this conversation," I replied. ****************************** One afternoon a very preoccupied looking young woman got on my bus. About 15 minutes into the ride, she blurted out, "Oh, my gosh, I think I'm on the wrong bus line." I dropped her at the next stop and gave her directions to the right bus. "I don't know where my mind is today. I must have left it at work," she apologized. Just before she got off, I noticed she was wearing an ID card from an area hospital. "Are you a nurse?" I asked. "Oh, no," she said. "I'm a brain surgeon." ****************************** Two Newfies landed themselves a job at a saw mill.
Just before morning the one yelled, "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick.
"And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here...
No! There goes another one!" ******************************** 1947
Probably one of the best emails of the year!!! The year is 1947
Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico . This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:
Albert A. Gore, Jr...
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses?
I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me.
No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens! *************************** Newfie Duck Hunter
A Newfie went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck
and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like Newfies.
The game warden ordered the Newfie to show his hunting license, and the Newfie pulled out a valid
Ontario hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its ass, and said,
'This duck ain't from Ontario . This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license, boy?'
The Newfie reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its ass, and said,
'This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba . You got a Manitoba license?'
The Newfie reached into wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its ass, and said,
'This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia . You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?'
Again the Newfie reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Newfie,
'Just where the hell are you from?'
The Newfie turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, 'You tell me, you're the expert.'
Tags: recipes, jokes, quotes, Reminder from God, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Breathe in the rich blessings of each new day. Forget all that lies behind you." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Off To A Good Start? Hebrews 10:36, NIV: "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Resolve, endurance, fortitude, perseverance, determination, steadfastness, tenacity--all characteristic of someone who holds the course, fights the good fight, and finishes the race. Many there are who with great bursts of energy jet from the starting line once inspired to follow Christ more closely. Many there are who quickly lose steam and falter, fade in their own strength, and fall far short of the finish line. So many of us start out strong, only to give up when the Christian life becomes a struggle. We grow weary. We tire. Our inspiration turns to hopelessness. Our enthusiasm becomes exhausted. Why is it so many of us give up? Perhaps we have forgotten what we live for, would fight for, and were at one time ready to die for. Perhaps the obstacles have taken toll and left us without of anything left to give. We do have hope in Christ. He will help us get through. But we must not lose sight of our purpose, goal and our Lord. We must not give up. We must not quit. We must find through Jesus the determination to carry on.
And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle.
- Exodus 33:11
Psalm 14:1
“For the director of music. Of David. The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.†They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good.†*************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: riddle • RID-ul • noun
1 : a mystifying, misleading, or puzzling question posed as a problem to be solved or guessed : conundrum, enigma 2 : something or someone difficult to understand Examples:
Despite Nick's outgoing nature, he doesn't share many details about his background and personal life, so he remains something of a riddle. "Beginning with his landmark work alongside partner Carl Bernstein on Nixon's Watergate scandal, through books on the administrations of Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama, Woodward has devoted a near-40-year career to unraveling the riddle of how power works in Washington, D.C." -- From an article by Eric Deggans in Florida's St. Petersburg Times, March 16, 2011 **************************** THINGS TO PONDER: Why does your nose run and your feet smell? You might be a REDNECK if...
...there is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house
"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes."
- Andrew Carnegie "Chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions." - Aldous Huxley Ambrose Bierce
"Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head." Mitch Hedberg
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down." Tracey Ullman
"I think serial monogamy says it all." ********************** Johnny had just received his brand new drivers license. The family goes out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the new driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to the his dad. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years!" ************************* What's best for my computer: Hibernate, sleep, or shut down? By Morieka Johnson, Mother Nature Network
Q: Does putting my computer to sleep help extend the battery life? What else can I do to save energy and make my new computer last?
A: We’ve all heard stories about what's best for a computer’s battery. That’s why I was excited to make friends with Fred Peters, president of Huntington Beach IT Services. In addition to teaching computing courses in Orange County, Calif., Peters happily makes house calls to revive frazzled computers and the people who rely on them. Here are his expert tips on how to keep your new laptop running smoothly. Sleep mode vs. shutting down Peters notes that your work process will determine whether it’s more efficient to use “Sleep†mode or simply shut down the computer. “It is never fun to have to consistently wait any amount of time if the shut downs are too frequent,†he says. "‘Sleep’ requires more power, but it boots up faster, while ‘Hibernate’ uses less power, but takes longer to come online.†That same logic applies to shutting off your computer completely. “Your computer will become obsolete before you wear out your computer by turning it on and off a lot,†he adds. “It also doesn't take more energy to start a computer than to keep it running.†Sleep mode requires a constant, though reduced use of power (0-6 watts). Peters also notes that colorful screensavers do nothing to conserve energy. Accessing your computer remotely with the Wake on LAN feature also can drain the power. To get the most for your money, Peters advises adjusting power settings so that it automatically goes into Sleep/Standby mode after about 15 minutes of inactivity, and then shut it down at the end of your day. Bionic battery life To get the most out of your computer battery, Peters says to you have to give it a workout. Don’t keep your machine plugged in to an outlet. Instead, discharge the battery daily. Size does matter By purchasing a laptop, Peters says that you are ahead in the energy-saving game. Laptops use about 15-60 watts, while desktops use 65-250 watts — plus another 15-80 watts for a monitor. He also adds that you can further conserve energy by using an LCD monitor and ditching the high-end video card unless it’s absolutely necessary. Also, turn off printers and other peripherals when they are not in use. To kill “vampire power,†TreeHugger.com suggests purchasing a power strip. With all peripherals connected to one source, it’s easy to simply flip the switch on power hogs any time. Establish a backup process In addition to Peters’ great advice about conserving energy, I discovered the hard way that it also pays to save backup versions of your work. Invest in an external hard drive to hold your digital music library, special photos, and other key documents. Frequent backups ensure that your data doesn’t die with your laptop. While you are in the process of backing things up, create an emergency file (on good old-fashioned paper) that contains your computer’s serial number along with other key data such as your credit card numbers and phone numbers to reach each company, along with contact info to your insurance company. Access to that information is vital, particularly in the event of an accident, fire, computer theft, or other catastrophe. Peters warns that those key pieces of information are not safe on your computer. If you are like me and absolutely need a digital holding space for those nuggets of information, he suggests sites like LastPass as your online vault. Happy computing! *********************** Tips on Dog Drooling By: Dr. Debra Primovic
Why do dogs drool? Drooling can be normal in some dogs, especially some breeds such as Great Danes or Basset Hounds. Excessive drooling can occur in any dog and can be caused by a variety of reasons. For example, some dogs may drool when they smell certain foods or are excited. Other dogs will drool if they are nauseated or have an oral abnormality such as a dental problem or something caught in their mouths. Ptyalism is the term used to describe excessive salivation or drooling. ************************* Extra-Easy Spinach Lasagna No need to cook the lasagna noodles...just layer them right in the pan with the cheeses, spinach and tomato-mushroom sauce. Serves: 8
Prep. time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 50 mins.
1 container (15 oz.) ricotta cheese
1 pkg. (10 oz.) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and well drained
8 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese (about 2 cups)
1 jar (24 oz.) Prego Fresh Mushroom Pasta Sauce
6 uncooked lasagna noodles
1/4 cup water
Stir the ricotta cheese, spinach and 1 cup mozzarella cheese in a medium bowl.
Spread 1 cup sauce in a 2-quart shallow baking dish. Top with 3 lasagna noodles and half the spinach mixture. Repeat the layers. Top with the remaining sauce. Slowly pour water around the inside edges of the baking dish. Cover. Bake at 400°F. for 40 minutes. Uncover the dish. Sprinkle with the remaining mozzarella cheese. Bake for 10 minutes or until it's hot and bubbling. Let stand for 10 minutes. Tip: To thaw the spinach, microwave on HIGH for 3 minutes, breaking apart with a fork halfway through heating.
****************************** Emeril's Herb-Crusted Halibut The herb crust provides a zesty crunch that brightens up a halibut fillet. The simplicity of this dish makes it perfect for a weeknight dinner and yet still sophisticated enough for weekend entertaining. If you cannot find halibut at your local fish market, substitute another mild, flaky white fish Ingredients 4 tsp. chopped lemon zest
4 tsp. chopped fresh dill leaves
4 tsp. chopped fresh parsley leaves
4 tsp. chopped fresh chervil leaves
2 tbsp. cracked black pepper
Four 6-ounce halibut fillets, skinned
1 1/2 tsp. salt
4 tsp. Dijon mustard
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
4 c. fresh arugula leaves, rinsed and spun dry
2 tbsp. olive oil
Directions
1. In a shallow bowl, combine the lemon zest, dill, parsley, chervil, and black pepper. 2. Season the fish with 1 1/4 tsp. of the salt. Then lightly brush one side of each fillet with 1 tsp. of the Dijon mustard. Firmly press the mustard-coated side of each fillet into the lemon-herb mixture. 3. Heat the vegetable oil in a skillet (preferably non-stick). Place the fillets, coated side down, in the hot oil and cook until the crust turns golden, 3 to 3.5 minutes. Flip them over and continue to cook until the fish flakes easily, about 3 minutes. 4. Meanwhile, toss the arugula with the olive oil in a medium bowl, and season with the remaining 1/4 tsp. of salt. Divide the arugula evenly among four serving plates. 5. Place a halibut fillet on each mound of arugula, and serve immediately. Makes: 4 servings
******************************
Buttermilk Cornbread Serves: 10
Total Time: 40 min
Prep Time: 15 min
Oven Temp: 350
Ingredients
1 1/2 cup(s) coarse cornmeal
1 cup(s) all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tablespoon(s) kosher salt
1 teaspoon(s) baking soda
3 large eggs
1 1/2 cup(s) buttermilk
1 stick(s) unsalted butter, melted, plus more for greasing pan
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a medium bowl, whisk together cornmeal, flour, salt, and baking soda. In a separate bowl, whisk eggs. Add buttermilk. Stir egg mixture into cornmeal mixture, then stir in melted butter. Whisk until ingredients are combined.
Butter a 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Pour cornbread batter into prepared pan and bake until a toothpick inserted in the center tests clean, about 25 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool before slicing. ****************************** Chili Mac 'n' Cheddar Soup Everything a cold-weather meal should be: cheesy, beefy, and dotted with tender pasta. Serves: 6 Yields: 8 cups
Total Time: 34 min
Prep Time: 10 min
Prep Time: 24 min
Ingredients
1 tablespoon(s) olive oil
1 large onion, diced
3/4 pound(s) lean ground beef
1 tablespoon(s) hot Mexican chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoon(s) ground cumin
2 1/2 cup(s) milk
1 can(s) (14 1/2-ounce) reduced-sodium chicken broth
1 can(s) (10 3/4-ounce) condensed cheddar-cheese soup
1 1/2 cup(s) uncooked elbow pasta
1 1/2 cup(s) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
Diced tomato, for garnish
Tortilla chips, for garnish
Minced jalapeño chile, for garnish Directions Heat oil in a 5-quart soup pot over medium-high heat; add onion and sauté 4 minutes, until translucent. Crumble beef into pot and cook, stirring for 4 minutes or until no longer pink. Stir in chili powder and cumin; cook, stirring, for 2 minutes.
Add milk and broth, then stir in condensed soup until dissolved; bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer 3 minutes. Stir in pasta; continue to cook, covered, 5 minutes. Stir in cheese until melted and smooth. Remove from heat; let stand 5 minutes or until pasta is fully cooked.
Ladle soup into bowls and garnish with diced tomato, tortilla chips, and minced chile.
******************************
Best-Ever Apple Cake This delicious cake has earned its designation as "Best-Ever." You may not be able to stop with just once slice. Serves: 12 Edit
yields: 12 slices
Prep Time: 30 min
Time: 1 hr 20 min
Oven Temp: 350
Ingredients 3/4 cup(s) chopped pecans
3 cup(s) all-purpose flour
2 cup(s) sugar
2 teaspoon(s) ground cinnamon
4 large baking apples, peeled, cored, and sliced
1 tablespoon(s) baking powder
1 teaspoon(s) salt
4 large eggs
1/2 cup(s) vegetable oil
1/2 cup(s) (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
1/4 cup(s) orange juice
2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract Directions Heat oven to 350°F. Spray a 10-inch removable-bottom tube pan with nonstick spray. Sprinkle pecans evenly on bottom of pan.
In a large bowl, mix 2 tablespoons of the flour, 1/4 cup of the sugar, and cinnamon. Add apples and toss to combine.
In another large bowl, mix remaining flour, remaining sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add eggs, oil, butter, orange juice, and vanilla extract. Beat until batter is smooth.
Pour half of the batter (about 2 cups) into prepared pan. Top with half of apple mixture. Spoon remaining batter over apples and top with remaining apples, placing them 1/4 inch in from the tube and the border of the cake.
Bake 1 hour and 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Let cake cool in pan on a wire rack for 30 minutes. Run a paring knife around the sides and center of cake and turn cake out onto wire rack. Invert cake onto another rack to cool, apple side up. ****************************** Lentil Soup Serves: 4 Edit
Total Time: 55 min
Prep Time: 10 min Ingredients 2 slice(s) bacon, chopped
2/3 cup(s) frozen chopped onion
1 cup(s) lentils, rinsed
1 package(s) (10 ounces) frozen mixed vegetables
5 1/2 cup(s) water
1/2 teaspoon(s) dried basil
1 tablespoon(s) sherry
1 1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
Croutons Directions Cook bacon and onion in large pot over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, 5 to 8 minutes until onion is tender. Stir in lentils, vegetables, water, and basil. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer, 35 minutes. Stir in sherry and salt.
Cool soup slightly. Puree soup in food processor or in a blender in small batches. Serve topped with croutons. ****************************** A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?" "Yes," his wife replied.
"I married into the family." ****************************** Clearly I was not going to win the battle of the bulge on my own, so I decided to join a gym. "Before you start working out, we like to do a health assessment," explained the gym representative. "When you come in, wear loose-fitting clothing." "If I had loose-fitting clothing, we wouldn't be having this conversation," I replied. ****************************** One afternoon a very preoccupied looking young woman got on my bus. About 15 minutes into the ride, she blurted out, "Oh, my gosh, I think I'm on the wrong bus line." I dropped her at the next stop and gave her directions to the right bus. "I don't know where my mind is today. I must have left it at work," she apologized. Just before she got off, I noticed she was wearing an ID card from an area hospital. "Are you a nurse?" I asked. "Oh, no," she said. "I'm a brain surgeon." ****************************** Two Newfies landed themselves a job at a saw mill.
Just before morning the one yelled, "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick.
"And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here...
No! There goes another one!" ******************************** 1947
Probably one of the best emails of the year!!! The year is 1947
Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico . This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:
Albert A. Gore, Jr...
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses?
I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me.
No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens! *************************** Newfie Duck Hunter
A Newfie went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck
and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like Newfies.
The game warden ordered the Newfie to show his hunting license, and the Newfie pulled out a valid
Ontario hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its ass, and said,
'This duck ain't from Ontario . This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license, boy?'
The Newfie reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its ass, and said,
'This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba . You got a Manitoba license?'
The Newfie reached into wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its ass, and said,
'This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia . You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?'
Again the Newfie reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Newfie,
'Just where the hell are you from?'
The Newfie turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, 'You tell me, you're the expert.'
Tags: recipes, jokes, quotes, Reminder from God, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Breathe in the rich blessings of each new day. Forget all that lies behind you." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Off To A Good Start? Hebrews 10:36, NIV: "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Resolve, endurance, fortitude, perseverance, determination, steadfastness, tenacity--all characteristic of someone who holds the course, fights the good fight, and finishes the race. Many there are who with great bursts of energy jet from the starting line once inspired to follow Christ more closely. Many there are who quickly lose steam and falter, fade in their own strength, and fall far short of the finish line. So many of us start out strong, only to give up when the Christian life becomes a struggle. We grow weary. We tire. Our inspiration turns to hopelessness. Our enthusiasm becomes exhausted. Why is it so many of us give up? Perhaps we have forgotten what we live for, would fight for, and were at one time ready to die for. Perhaps the obstacles have taken toll and left us without of anything left to give. We do have hope in Christ. He will help us get through. But we must not lose sight of our purpose, goal and our Lord. We must not give up. We must not quit. We must find through Jesus the determination to carry on.
And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle.
- Exodus 33:11
Psalm 14:1
“For the director of music. Of David. The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.†They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good.†*************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: riddle • RID-ul • noun
1 : a mystifying, misleading, or puzzling question posed as a problem to be solved or guessed : conundrum, enigma 2 : something or someone difficult to understand Examples:
Despite Nick's outgoing nature, he doesn't share many details about his background and personal life, so he remains something of a riddle. "Beginning with his landmark work alongside partner Carl Bernstein on Nixon's Watergate scandal, through books on the administrations of Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama, Woodward has devoted a near-40-year career to unraveling the riddle of how power works in Washington, D.C." -- From an article by Eric Deggans in Florida's St. Petersburg Times, March 16, 2011 **************************** THINGS TO PONDER: Why does your nose run and your feet smell? You might be a REDNECK if...
...there is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house
"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes."
- Andrew Carnegie "Chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions." - Aldous Huxley Ambrose Bierce
"Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head." Mitch Hedberg
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down." Tracey Ullman
"I think serial monogamy says it all." ********************** Johnny had just received his brand new drivers license. The family goes out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the new driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to the his dad. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years!" ************************* What's best for my computer: Hibernate, sleep, or shut down? By Morieka Johnson, Mother Nature Network
Q: Does putting my computer to sleep help extend the battery life? What else can I do to save energy and make my new computer last?
A: We’ve all heard stories about what's best for a computer’s battery. That’s why I was excited to make friends with Fred Peters, president of Huntington Beach IT Services. In addition to teaching computing courses in Orange County, Calif., Peters happily makes house calls to revive frazzled computers and the people who rely on them. Here are his expert tips on how to keep your new laptop running smoothly. Sleep mode vs. shutting down Peters notes that your work process will determine whether it’s more efficient to use “Sleep†mode or simply shut down the computer. “It is never fun to have to consistently wait any amount of time if the shut downs are too frequent,†he says. "‘Sleep’ requires more power, but it boots up faster, while ‘Hibernate’ uses less power, but takes longer to come online.†That same logic applies to shutting off your computer completely. “Your computer will become obsolete before you wear out your computer by turning it on and off a lot,†he adds. “It also doesn't take more energy to start a computer than to keep it running.†Sleep mode requires a constant, though reduced use of power (0-6 watts). Peters also notes that colorful screensavers do nothing to conserve energy. Accessing your computer remotely with the Wake on LAN feature also can drain the power. To get the most for your money, Peters advises adjusting power settings so that it automatically goes into Sleep/Standby mode after about 15 minutes of inactivity, and then shut it down at the end of your day. Bionic battery life To get the most out of your computer battery, Peters says to you have to give it a workout. Don’t keep your machine plugged in to an outlet. Instead, discharge the battery daily. Size does matter By purchasing a laptop, Peters says that you are ahead in the energy-saving game. Laptops use about 15-60 watts, while desktops use 65-250 watts — plus another 15-80 watts for a monitor. He also adds that you can further conserve energy by using an LCD monitor and ditching the high-end video card unless it’s absolutely necessary. Also, turn off printers and other peripherals when they are not in use. To kill “vampire power,†TreeHugger.com suggests purchasing a power strip. With all peripherals connected to one source, it’s easy to simply flip the switch on power hogs any time. Establish a backup process In addition to Peters’ great advice about conserving energy, I discovered the hard way that it also pays to save backup versions of your work. Invest in an external hard drive to hold your digital music library, special photos, and other key documents. Frequent backups ensure that your data doesn’t die with your laptop. While you are in the process of backing things up, create an emergency file (on good old-fashioned paper) that contains your computer’s serial number along with other key data such as your credit card numbers and phone numbers to reach each company, along with contact info to your insurance company. Access to that information is vital, particularly in the event of an accident, fire, computer theft, or other catastrophe. Peters warns that those key pieces of information are not safe on your computer. If you are like me and absolutely need a digital holding space for those nuggets of information, he suggests sites like LastPass as your online vault. Happy computing! *********************** Tips on Dog Drooling By: Dr. Debra Primovic
Why do dogs drool? Drooling can be normal in some dogs, especially some breeds such as Great Danes or Basset Hounds. Excessive drooling can occur in any dog and can be caused by a variety of reasons. For example, some dogs may drool when they smell certain foods or are excited. Other dogs will drool if they are nauseated or have an oral abnormality such as a dental problem or something caught in their mouths. Ptyalism is the term used to describe excessive salivation or drooling. ************************* Extra-Easy Spinach Lasagna No need to cook the lasagna noodles...just layer them right in the pan with the cheeses, spinach and tomato-mushroom sauce. Serves: 8
Prep. time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 50 mins.
1 container (15 oz.) ricotta cheese
1 pkg. (10 oz.) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and well drained
8 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese (about 2 cups)
1 jar (24 oz.) Prego Fresh Mushroom Pasta Sauce
6 uncooked lasagna noodles
1/4 cup water
Stir the ricotta cheese, spinach and 1 cup mozzarella cheese in a medium bowl.
Spread 1 cup sauce in a 2-quart shallow baking dish. Top with 3 lasagna noodles and half the spinach mixture. Repeat the layers. Top with the remaining sauce. Slowly pour water around the inside edges of the baking dish. Cover. Bake at 400°F. for 40 minutes. Uncover the dish. Sprinkle with the remaining mozzarella cheese. Bake for 10 minutes or until it's hot and bubbling. Let stand for 10 minutes. Tip: To thaw the spinach, microwave on HIGH for 3 minutes, breaking apart with a fork halfway through heating.
****************************** Emeril's Herb-Crusted Halibut The herb crust provides a zesty crunch that brightens up a halibut fillet. The simplicity of this dish makes it perfect for a weeknight dinner and yet still sophisticated enough for weekend entertaining. If you cannot find halibut at your local fish market, substitute another mild, flaky white fish Ingredients 4 tsp. chopped lemon zest
4 tsp. chopped fresh dill leaves
4 tsp. chopped fresh parsley leaves
4 tsp. chopped fresh chervil leaves
2 tbsp. cracked black pepper
Four 6-ounce halibut fillets, skinned
1 1/2 tsp. salt
4 tsp. Dijon mustard
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
4 c. fresh arugula leaves, rinsed and spun dry
2 tbsp. olive oil
Directions
1. In a shallow bowl, combine the lemon zest, dill, parsley, chervil, and black pepper. 2. Season the fish with 1 1/4 tsp. of the salt. Then lightly brush one side of each fillet with 1 tsp. of the Dijon mustard. Firmly press the mustard-coated side of each fillet into the lemon-herb mixture. 3. Heat the vegetable oil in a skillet (preferably non-stick). Place the fillets, coated side down, in the hot oil and cook until the crust turns golden, 3 to 3.5 minutes. Flip them over and continue to cook until the fish flakes easily, about 3 minutes. 4. Meanwhile, toss the arugula with the olive oil in a medium bowl, and season with the remaining 1/4 tsp. of salt. Divide the arugula evenly among four serving plates. 5. Place a halibut fillet on each mound of arugula, and serve immediately. Makes: 4 servings
******************************
Buttermilk Cornbread Serves: 10
Total Time: 40 min
Prep Time: 15 min
Oven Temp: 350
Ingredients
1 1/2 cup(s) coarse cornmeal
1 cup(s) all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tablespoon(s) kosher salt
1 teaspoon(s) baking soda
3 large eggs
1 1/2 cup(s) buttermilk
1 stick(s) unsalted butter, melted, plus more for greasing pan
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a medium bowl, whisk together cornmeal, flour, salt, and baking soda. In a separate bowl, whisk eggs. Add buttermilk. Stir egg mixture into cornmeal mixture, then stir in melted butter. Whisk until ingredients are combined.
Butter a 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Pour cornbread batter into prepared pan and bake until a toothpick inserted in the center tests clean, about 25 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool before slicing. ****************************** Chili Mac 'n' Cheddar Soup Everything a cold-weather meal should be: cheesy, beefy, and dotted with tender pasta. Serves: 6 Yields: 8 cups
Total Time: 34 min
Prep Time: 10 min
Prep Time: 24 min
Ingredients
1 tablespoon(s) olive oil
1 large onion, diced
3/4 pound(s) lean ground beef
1 tablespoon(s) hot Mexican chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoon(s) ground cumin
2 1/2 cup(s) milk
1 can(s) (14 1/2-ounce) reduced-sodium chicken broth
1 can(s) (10 3/4-ounce) condensed cheddar-cheese soup
1 1/2 cup(s) uncooked elbow pasta
1 1/2 cup(s) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
Diced tomato, for garnish
Tortilla chips, for garnish
Minced jalapeño chile, for garnish Directions Heat oil in a 5-quart soup pot over medium-high heat; add onion and sauté 4 minutes, until translucent. Crumble beef into pot and cook, stirring for 4 minutes or until no longer pink. Stir in chili powder and cumin; cook, stirring, for 2 minutes.
Add milk and broth, then stir in condensed soup until dissolved; bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer 3 minutes. Stir in pasta; continue to cook, covered, 5 minutes. Stir in cheese until melted and smooth. Remove from heat; let stand 5 minutes or until pasta is fully cooked.
Ladle soup into bowls and garnish with diced tomato, tortilla chips, and minced chile.
******************************
Best-Ever Apple Cake This delicious cake has earned its designation as "Best-Ever." You may not be able to stop with just once slice. Serves: 12 Edit
yields: 12 slices
Prep Time: 30 min
Time: 1 hr 20 min
Oven Temp: 350
Ingredients 3/4 cup(s) chopped pecans
3 cup(s) all-purpose flour
2 cup(s) sugar
2 teaspoon(s) ground cinnamon
4 large baking apples, peeled, cored, and sliced
1 tablespoon(s) baking powder
1 teaspoon(s) salt
4 large eggs
1/2 cup(s) vegetable oil
1/2 cup(s) (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
1/4 cup(s) orange juice
2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract Directions Heat oven to 350°F. Spray a 10-inch removable-bottom tube pan with nonstick spray. Sprinkle pecans evenly on bottom of pan.
In a large bowl, mix 2 tablespoons of the flour, 1/4 cup of the sugar, and cinnamon. Add apples and toss to combine.
In another large bowl, mix remaining flour, remaining sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add eggs, oil, butter, orange juice, and vanilla extract. Beat until batter is smooth.
Pour half of the batter (about 2 cups) into prepared pan. Top with half of apple mixture. Spoon remaining batter over apples and top with remaining apples, placing them 1/4 inch in from the tube and the border of the cake.
Bake 1 hour and 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Let cake cool in pan on a wire rack for 30 minutes. Run a paring knife around the sides and center of cake and turn cake out onto wire rack. Invert cake onto another rack to cool, apple side up. ****************************** Lentil Soup Serves: 4 Edit
Total Time: 55 min
Prep Time: 10 min Ingredients 2 slice(s) bacon, chopped
2/3 cup(s) frozen chopped onion
1 cup(s) lentils, rinsed
1 package(s) (10 ounces) frozen mixed vegetables
5 1/2 cup(s) water
1/2 teaspoon(s) dried basil
1 tablespoon(s) sherry
1 1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
Croutons Directions Cook bacon and onion in large pot over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, 5 to 8 minutes until onion is tender. Stir in lentils, vegetables, water, and basil. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer, 35 minutes. Stir in sherry and salt.
Cool soup slightly. Puree soup in food processor or in a blender in small batches. Serve topped with croutons. ****************************** A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?" "Yes," his wife replied.
"I married into the family." ****************************** Clearly I was not going to win the battle of the bulge on my own, so I decided to join a gym. "Before you start working out, we like to do a health assessment," explained the gym representative. "When you come in, wear loose-fitting clothing." "If I had loose-fitting clothing, we wouldn't be having this conversation," I replied. ****************************** One afternoon a very preoccupied looking young woman got on my bus. About 15 minutes into the ride, she blurted out, "Oh, my gosh, I think I'm on the wrong bus line." I dropped her at the next stop and gave her directions to the right bus. "I don't know where my mind is today. I must have left it at work," she apologized. Just before she got off, I noticed she was wearing an ID card from an area hospital. "Are you a nurse?" I asked. "Oh, no," she said. "I'm a brain surgeon." ****************************** Two Newfies landed themselves a job at a saw mill.
Just before morning the one yelled, "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick.
"And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here...
No! There goes another one!" ******************************** 1947
Probably one of the best emails of the year!!! The year is 1947
Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico . This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:
Albert A. Gore, Jr...
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses?
I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me.
No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens! *************************** Newfie Duck Hunter
A Newfie went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck
and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like Newfies.
The game warden ordered the Newfie to show his hunting license, and the Newfie pulled out a valid
Ontario hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its ass, and said,
'This duck ain't from Ontario . This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license, boy?'
The Newfie reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its ass, and said,
'This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba . You got a Manitoba license?'
The Newfie reached into wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its ass, and said,
'This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia . You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?'
Again the Newfie reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Newfie,
'Just where the hell are you from?'
The Newfie turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, 'You tell me, you're the expert.'
Tags: recipes, jokes, quotes, Reminder from God, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Face the storm. Feel the thrill of protection and safety from Me within you." -- GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
I Know? 1 Corinthians 8:2, NIV: "The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know" Socrates is noted for stating, quot;All I know is that I know nothing." We might all do well to apply such understanding--or, perhaps, the recognition of the lack of understanding we possess. In all our learning, in all our pursuit to know or to understand, in all our cognitive groping and grasping to grasp and find within ourselves a security where in we believe to know something to be true, there is truly so little truth we have attained. Yet, we (mankind, and individuals) presume to elevate our tiny understanding of God and His universe as though it were something colossal. It is God who is colossal, grand, great, beyond comprehension, boundless, limitless, endless, and unfathomable. It is He who knows what is in man, and it is He who knows you far greater than you might ever hope to truly know yourself. Consider God. And now, consider what it is you think you know. A realistic view of ourselves may put us in line with Socrates long enough to find the wisdom to say, "All I know is that I know nothing." And with that to add, "But I do know the One Who is everything." In such wisdom, the truest pursuit of knowledge begins. 1 Timothy 2:5-6
“For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time.â€
*************************
WORD FOR THE DAY: farouche • fuh-ROOSH • adjective
1 : unruly or disorderly : wild 2 : marked by shyness and lack of social graces Examples:
The writer’s publicist was often frustrated by her client, who was urbane and eloquent on the page but farouche when it came to meeting with fans and giving interviews. "The girl is classical, farouche as a Jamesian heroine: she discloses her body in its spotless white swimming costume shyly, like a marble nymph." -- From Rachel Cusk's 2010 book The Last Supper: A Summer in Italy ************************** CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home. THINGS TO PONDER: Are people born stupid or do they have to work at it? THINGS TO PONDER: Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is? You might be a REDNECK if...
...your school dress code contains the line "Shoes Optional".
You might be a REDNECK if...
...your state's got a new law that says when a couple gets divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.
"Strength does not come from winning.
Your struggles develop your strength.
When you go through hardship
and decide not to surrender,
that is strength." "If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle." - Sun-Tzu Lana Turner
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man." Samuel Goldwyn
"Include me out." Fred Allen
"The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand." ************************** Top 3 Dog Emergencies and What You Can Do Today, I'd like to give you information on the top three most common emergencies and tell you what you can do to help prevent them. I hope this information helps your dog. Most pet owners think of the most common dog emergencies as severe traumas. However, the fact is that the most common emergencies are frequent problems and it just happens to be after-hours when regular vets are closed leaving emergency rooms as the only available option. I also did some digging into the average cost for these common "problems". The cost varied depending on the area of the country, what tests were done, how serious the case was, and whether the dog's problem was treated in the hospital or as an outpatient. Here are the three most common problems and the average costs to treat them: 1. The most common emergency is vomiting. Hands down. One night I was at the local emergency room and within an hour we saw 3 different dogs come in with vomiting. There are lots of causes for vomiting, ranging from serious metabolic diseases to dietary indiscretions. You can help prevent vomiting in your dog by consistently feeding a good quality diet with no table scraps. Don't feed bones and make any dietary changes gradually. Prevent exposure to trash and objects that your dog may swallow. Example of costs:
With symptomatic treatment and no tests: $110.00 to $154.00
With blood work, x-rays and medication to go home: $325.00 to $500.00
With blood work, x-rays, IV fluids, medication and 24-hour hospitalization: $450.00 to $760.00 2. The second most common emergency in dogs is diarrhea. Parasites, dietary changes or indiscretions, and other metabolic diseases can cause diarrhea. The best way to prevent diarrhea in dogs is to prevent exposure to trash, keep your dog confined to a fenced-in yard or on a leash (again to prevent him from getting into and eating things he shouldn't), and consistently feeding a good quality food. Don't feed bones. Make any dietary changes gradually. Example of costs:
With symptomatic treatment and no tests: $100.00 to $128.00
With blood work, x-rays and medication to go home: $325.00 to $500.00
With blood work, x-rays, IV fluids, medication and 24-hour hospitalization: $420.00 to $725.00 3. The third most common dog emergency is "not eating". The lack of an appetite is a common symptom and can be caused by just about every problem a dog can get. It can be a symptom of something simple or serious. Because there are so many possible causes (from infections, trauma, diabetes and various other diseases), it is hard to "prevent". The best thing you can do is to keep your dog safe and prevent exposure to problem items such as trash, medications and toxins. Example of costs:
With symptomatic treatment and no tests: $100.00 to $145.00
With blood work, x-rays and medication to go home: $350.00 to $510.00
With blood work, x-rays, IV fluids, medication and 24-hour hospitalization: $445.00 to $760.00 These three problems are very common and unfortunately they are likely to affect your pet at one time or another. These costs can add up - especially as it may require more than one visit or one day to make your pet feel better or to determine the underlying causes. These costs can be understandably difficult for some pet owners to afford. If you are in that situation, and you do not have pet insurance, you should be saving money for your dog on a regular basis so you can be prepared for a major veterinary expense. One last thing, many emergencies of this type are caused by exposure to toxins, owners feeding their pets table scraps and pets getting access to trash. Please be very careful with what you feed your dog. Also, do not give any medications unless instructed by your veterinarian. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tips for Encouraging Your Dog to Drink
Proper hydration is crucial in the healing process; however, the ill or painful dog may not be interested in drinking. It is important NOT to force water into your dog, as it could lead to aspiration pneumonia if your dog is not swallowing appropriately. Listed below are several options to encourage your dog to intake water. 1. Give your dog an ice cube to lick.
2. Allow your dog to lick water from your hand or your finger.
3. Feed canned dog food, as it has a higher water content.
4. Add warm water or low-sodium broth to your dog's food.
5. With your veterinarian's permission, offer small amounts of Pedialyte.
6. Adding an ice cube to the water bowl can encourage some dogs to drink. If your dog is weak and not interested in food or water, see your veterinarian. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Canned vs. Dry Food
What type of food is preferred for dogs? Here are some general rules: For puppies (less than 8-9 months and less than 30 pounds): Feed your puppy a consistent canned, semi-moist or dry dog food designed for puppies. If your dog weighs more than 30 pounds, dry food is preferred for greater caloric density. For adult dogs: Feed your dog a consistent canned, semi-moist or dry dog food designed for an "adult" dog. All the above are adequate as long as it is a good quality food. If your dog weighs more than 30 pounds, dry food is preferred for greater caloric density.
************************ How to Find Yourself Finding yourself is an enlightening experience. You become self-sufficient and do things for others without expectations of something in return. You are no longer needy and become utterly grateful for all the things people have done for you in the past. Finding yourself is a time of harmony because you develop that philosophy or belief system that will carry you throughout the rest of your life. When you love yourself and who you are, you will savor and enjoy both life's pain and pleasures. How do you know you have found yourself? When you are able to help others find themselves. Finding yourself is not easy. If you have never felt connected to who you are, and you want to find whatever makes you you, being yourself will be hard. The first step is always the hardest, but after that hill, you will be smooth sailing to discovering who you are. ************************ How to soothe baby's colic? Pour a cup of tea
By Kavita Varma-White Next time your fussy, colicky baby has you teetering on the brink of sleep-deprived lunacy, consider a cup of herbal tea. And that's for the baby, not for you. Tea --made with chamomile, licorice, fennel and balm mint-- was one of the most effective treatments for relieving symptoms of colic, according to a new Pediatrics study, which reviewed 15 randomized clinical trials of alternative treatments for infantile colic. The study analyzed trials that included various types of treatment and found the most encouraging results came from treatments using herbal remedies and sugar solutions, while the least effective results came from treatments involving manipulation and probiotic supplements. Of the three herbal studies, one with the most significant results was when babies were given fennel extract. (No surprise since fennel seeds are known to be a natural digestive aid because they relax the smooth muscle lining of the digestive tract and also help to expel gas.) Another study looked at Colimil, an herbal formula containing fennel, lemon balm, and German chamomile, which after use showed a significant difference in crying times per day. Five studies that looked at glucose and sucrose supplements found significant easing effects on colic symptoms, too. Perhaps the most interesting part of the study is how the authors explain what many a frazzled parent already knows – that it's hard to know how to treat colic because colic itself is such a wily beast. The difficulty in finding an effective treatment is related to our lack of understand of IC (infantile colic). Its pathophysiology is unclear; food allergies, formula intolerance, immaturity of gastrointestinal tract, excessive gas formation or intestinal cramping have all been suggested as possible etiologies. Arguably, any rational treatment should be directed at the mechanisms of the disease itself. The study didn't include specific instructions on dosage, so check with your pediatrician before trying any herbal remedy. And, even then, don't give your baby hot tea! ************************ Carmel Bavarian Cream
Pies, Pastries & Desserts Makes: 6 servings
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Ready In: 40 minutes
This dessert can be served plain and is the perfect filing for your King Cake or homemade doughnuts. The recipe is adapted from Maw Maw copies of the 1949 EDITION from Godchaux Sugars - Price 50 cents.
Ingredients
2 cups milk
4 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp granulated sugar
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup boiling water
2 tbsp gelatin
1/2 cup cold water
Directions
Scald milk (milk heated almost to boiling) and pour over egg yolks, beaten slightly with the two tablespoons of sugar. Caramelize the 3/4 cup of sugar and dissolve in boiling water. Add to the soft custard. Add gelatin which has been softened in the cold water. Strain into a bowl and set in ice water. When it begins to thicken, add vanilla and egg whites beaten stiff. Chill. Serve plain or topped with whipped cream. ************************ Grillades
Main Dishes & Casseroles Makes: 4 servings
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour, 0 minutes
Ready In: 1 hour, 30 minutes Grillards or Grillades are very popular dish and are served on grits or rice. This recipe is adapted from Goudchaux's Sugars Collection of 1949 recipes.
Ingredients
1 pound beef round steak
1 large onions minced
3 tbsp oil or bacon fat
2 cups boiling water
1 bay leaf
2 tbsp flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tbsp chopped parsley
1 sprig thyme
1/2 can tomato paste (optional)
dash cayenne
1/8 tsp pepper
carrots optional)
2 tsp garlic powder
Directions
Slice the round steak into long finger size strips. (Maw Maw likes to use a meat hammer to tenderize the meat.) Fry meat in oil until brown and set aside. Add tomato paste, water, and seasonings. Cover, lower heat and simmer adding meat (and carrots, if desired), for 45 minutes, Tomatoes may be omitted if brown gravy is desired. For a thicker gravy, remove cover and cook down. Serve over grits or rice.
************************ Fig Cookies
Cakes, Cookies & Candy
Makes: 24 servings
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Ready In: 50 minutes
NUTRITION INFORMATION FOR FIGS - 1/4 cup dried figs counts as 1/2 cup in the MyPyramid.gov Fruit Group. For a 2,000- calorie diet, the daily recommendation is about 2 cups of fruit. Now this is odd... but, there are over 600 types of figs, and you can't find ANY of them in the produce section of the local grocery store...
Ingredients
1 stick softened butter 8 tblsp
2 cups sugar
1 cup fig preserves
3 eggs
1 tsp baking powder
3 cups flour
nutmeg and cinnamon to taste
Directions
Cream the sugar, eggs, and butter. Combine with the fig preserves. Combine the flour and baking powder and the optional cinnamon and nutmeg. Gradually add to the flour mixture to the creamed ingredients. Spoon drop cookies on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees until cookie is slightly brown (approximately 20 minutes).
*********************** Greek Bifteki "A great barbecue dish, and a nice alternative to steaks. Really quick to prepare! You can also fry them in a pan. ENJOY!" Rate/Review | Read Reviews (32) Prep Time:20 Min
Cook Time:15 Min
Ready In: 45 Min
Yield 4 servings Ingredients
1 1/3 pounds ground beef
1 tablespoon plain yogurt
2 teaspoons dried thyme
salt and pepper to taste
4 ounces feta cheese Directions
Preheat grill for indirect heat.
In a large bowl, mix together ground beef, yogurt, thyme, and salt and pepper. Form meat into 8 patties, about 2 to 3 inches in diameter.
Cut the cheese into 4 slices. Place one cheese slice between two patties, and seal the edges. Repeat with remaining beef patties and cheese slices. Set bifteki aside.
Brush grate with oil, and arrange bifteki on hot grate. Cover, and cook for 15 to 20 minutes, or until meat is cooked through and cheese is melted ************************ A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published.
After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown died'." Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a 7-word minimum for all obituaries.
The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers and replies, "In that case,
'Fred Brown died: 1983 Pick-up for sale'." ************************ John kept pestering his parents to buy a video, but they said they couldn't afford one.
So one day John came home clutching a package containing a brand-new video.
'Where in the World did you get the money to pay for that ?' asked his father suspiciously.
'It's OK, Dad,' replied John, 'I've traded the TV in for it.' ************************ A woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman's home, when all of a sudden, they hear the front door open and close.
"Oh, no, it's my husband!" The man says, "Where's your back door?" "We don't have a back door" says the woman.
The man then asks, "Well, where do you want a back door?" ************************ Monster: I'm so ugly.
Ghost: It's not that bad!
Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars.
When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes.
When I was born they simply passed out. ************************ WILLIS—"I wonder if there will ever be universal peace." GILLIS—"Sure. All they've got to do is to get the nations to agree that in case of war the winner pays the pensions."—Puck. ************************ A Woman's Perspectiv WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Keep reading-they get better!!!
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
*********************************************
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles..
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own . so does she...
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake
him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up..' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Doubt your own power to put things right. Ask Me to right all, then go on your way loving and laughing." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Unmerited Favor Isaiah 6:5, KJV: "Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts." Grace. The very word deeply stirs the hearts of many who follow Jesus Christ. It is something that penetrates to the inmost parts, and touches more deeply and words alone can describe. Some have said that grace can be defined as "unmerited favor." But try as we might, grace is not something easily defined--it is something grasped only truly by receiving it and experiencing it. It is most often understood in moments of personal spiritual poverty. It is often only comprehended at a time when we look into ourselves and realize our needy condition. And should we put aside our pride and utter such words as, "Woe is me, for I am undone..." then we shall here our Lord reply, "My Grace is sufficient for you..." We do not deserve it. We cannot earn it. We can only receive it. And through it, we are drawn more closely to God--more closely to His Grace--to a place wherein we experience His Grace
more deeply with each passing day. ***************************
WORD FOR THE DAY: legerity • luh-JAIR-uh-tee • noun : alert facile quickness of mind or body
Examples: With legerity , the prefect noted that the man had just divulged information about the murder that had not been made public, and which placed him at the scene of the crime. "I think, the results will not take long to appear, taking into account the legerity acquired by our leading bankers in recent years." -- From a blog entry on 24dash.com , January 30, 2011 Did you know? When "legerity" first appeared in English in 1561, it drew significantly upon the concept of being "light on one's feet," and appropriately so. It is derived from words in Middle and Old French and ultimately Latin that all mean "light in weight." These days, "legerity" can describe a nimbleness of mind as well as of the feet ***************************
April’s Promise April comes from the Latin word aperio, meaning “to open or bud,†because plants begin to grow this month. If you’re ready to plant, consider dwarf apple trees, lilac bushes, and roses right now. This month, weather can be capricious. Spring rains soak the earth, preparing it for plants to grow. As naturalist Hal Borland wrote, “April is a promise that May is bound to keep.†~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ April 1st, 2011
April Fools' Day The term "All Fools," was probably meant as a deliberate stab at All Saints (November 1) and All Souls (November 2) Day. Although the origin of playing practical jokes and pranks on this day is hazy, many folklorists believe it may go back to 16th-century France. At that time, New Year's Day was March 25, with a full week of partying and exchanging gifts until April 1. In 1582, the Gregorian calendar moved New Year's Day to January 1. Those who forgot or refused to honor the new calendar were the butts of jokes and ridicule. Weather folklore states, "If it thunders on All Fools Day, it brings good crops of corn and hay." Winter’s done,
and April’s in the skies.
Earth, look up with laughter
in your eyes! –Charles G. D. Roberts (1860–1943) ************************* You might be a REDNECK if...
...you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
THINGS TO PONDER: What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
"There's only one way to succeed in anything and that is to give everything."
- Vince Lombardi *************************** DOG TIPS: 3 Symptoms That Are a REAL EMERGENCY This is a real combination of symptoms that spells out EMERGENCY. These are the classic symptoms of a condition referred to as "bloat" - an extremely dangerous condition. If you notice these 3 combined symptoms in your dog, seek treatment immediately: • PACING
• RESTLESSNESS
• UNPRODUCTIVE ATTEMPTS TO VOMIT Bloat is a common problem in large breed deep chested dogs but can also occur in smaller dogs. Basically what happens is this. The stomach twists causing the blood supply to the stomach to be compromised, which leads to tissue death. As tissues are damaged, toxins are released and a sequence of events occurs that, if left untreated, leads to death. If you ever notice these symptoms in your dog, call your local veterinarian or emergency clinic as soon as possible. This is a condition that is fairly common and often occurs in the evening or nighttime hours. It is also a very expensive condition to treat. I was at a local emergency clinic the other night and they had two dogs with bloat there at the same time. Buster, an 11-year-old mixed breed, was euthanized because his owners didn't have the money to treat him. The other dog was a 6-year-old German shepherd that was treated and saved with surgery. She was doing well when last I talked to the clinic. It is not uncommon for this hospitalization, treatment, surgery, etc. to cost over $2,000 and even up to $5,000. That is a LOT of money. *****************************
15 Immune Boosting Foods
Elderberry
An old folk remedy, extract from these dark berries appears to block flu viruses in test tube studies. And a few small studies done in people show it may help you recover more quickly from flu. But scientists caution that further study is needed. The fruit itself is rich in antioxidants and may also have the ability to fight inflammation.
Button Mushrooms
Don't dismiss the lowly mushroom as nutrient poor: It has the mineral selenium and antioxidants. Low levels of selenium have been linked to increased risk of developing more severe flu. And the B vitamins riboflavin and niacin, found in these mushrooms, play a role in a healthy immune system. Animal studies have also shown mushrooms to have antiviral, antibacterial, and anti-tumor effects.
Acai Berry
Hawked as a "super food" along with produce like blueberries, the little acai berry's dark color signals that it is high in antioxidants called anthocyanins. While the acai is not scientifically linked to specific disease- or illness-fighting ability, antioxidants may help your body fight aging and disease. Acai berries can be found most often in juice or smoothie form, or dried and mixed with granola.
Oysters
Aphrodisiac? Immune boosters? Maybe both, thanks to the mineral zinc that's found in oysters. Low zinc levels have been associated with male infertility. And zinc appears to have some antiviral effect, although researchers can't explain why. However, they do know it is important to several immune system tasks including healing wounds.
Watermelon
Hydrating and refreshing, ripe watermelon also has plenty of a powerful antioxidant, glutathione. Known to help strengthen the immune system so it can fight infection, glutathione is found in the red pulpy flesh near the rind.
Cabbage
This is another source of immune-strengthening glutathione. And cabbage is easy and inexpensive to find during the winter months when it's in season. Try adding cabbages of any variety (white, red, Chinese) to soups and stews to sneak in extra antioxidants and boost your meal's nutritional value.
Almonds
A handful of almonds may shore up your immune system from the effects of stress. A recommended 1/4 cup serving carries nearly 50% of the daily recommended amount of vitamin E, which helps boost the immune system. And they have riboflavin and niacin, B vitamins that may help you bounce back from the effects of stress.
Grapefruit
Grapefruits have a good amount of vitamin C. But science has yet to prove that you can easily get enough vitamin C through foods alone, without supplementation, to help treat cold and flu. However, grapefruit is packed with flavonoids -- natural chemical compounds that have been found to increase immune system activation. Dislike grapefruits? Try oranges or tangerines.
Wheat Germ
Wheat germ is the part of a wheat seed that feeds a baby wheat plant, so it is full of nutrients. It has zinc, antioxidants, and B vitamins among other vital vitamins and minerals. Wheat germ also offers a good mix of fiber, protein, and some good fat. Substitute wheat germ for part of the regular flour called for in baked goods and other recipes. Low-Fat Yogurt
A daily cup may reduce your chances of getting a cold. Look for labels listing "live and active cultures." Some researchers believe they may stimulate your immune system to fight disease. Also look for vitamin D. Recent studies have found a link between low vitamin D levels and an increased risk of cold and flu. Garlic
Garlic offers several antioxidants that battle immune system invaders. Among garlic's targets are H. pylori, the bacteria associated with some ulcers and stomach cancer. Cooking tip: Peel, chop and let sit 15 to 20 minutes before cooking to activate immune-boosting enzymes. Spinach
Known as a "super food," spinach is nutrient-rich. It has folate, which helps your body produce new cells and repair DNA. And it boasts fiber, antioxidants, such as vitamin C, and more. Eat spinach raw or lightly cooked to get the most benefit. Tea
Green or black? Both are loaded with disease-fighting polyphenols and flavonoids. These antioxidants seek out cell-damaging free radicals and destroy them. Caffeinated and decaf work equally well. Sweet Potato
Like carrots, sweet potatoes have the antioxidant beta-carotene, which mops up damaging free radicals. Sweet potatoes also boast vitamin A, which is linked to slowing the aging process and may reduce the risk of some cancers. Broccoli
Easy to find at the grocery store and incorporate into meals, broccoli is an immune-boosting basic. One study reported a chemical in broccoli helped stimulate the immune systems of mice. Plus, it's full of nutrients that protect your body from damage. It has vitamins A, vitamin C, and glutathione. Add some low-fat cheese to round out a side dish with immune-enhancing B vitamins and vitamin D. *************************** Acadian Rigatoni Three ingredients form the foundation of this Acadian dish - onion, celery, and green bell pepper. It's delectable! Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 28 minutes 1 tablespoon cooking oil
1 pound hot Italian sausage, or andouille, casings removed, sausage cut into 1-inch pieces
1 onion, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
1 large green bell pepper, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 1/2 cups canned crushed tomatoes in thick puree, one 16 ounce can
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
3/4 pound rigatoni In a large frying pan, heat the oil over moderate heat. Add the sausage and cook, stirring, for 3 minutes. Stir in the onion, celery, green pepper, and garlic. Cover the pan and cook over moderately low heat, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are soft, about 10 minutes. Add the tomatoes, salt, and black pepper. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes longer. In a large pot of boiling, salted water, cook the rigatoni until just done, about 14 minutes. Drain and toss the pasta with the sauce.
*************************** Crunchy Macaroni & Cheese Everyone's favorite cheesy macaroni dish is made especially good with cream of mushroom soup and crunchy French fried onions.
Serves: 4
Prep. time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 21
1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
1/2 cup milk
1/2 tsp. prepared mustard
Generous dash ground black Pepper
3 cups elbow pasta, cooked and drained
2 cups Shredded Cheddar cheese (about 8 oz.)
1 can (2.8 oz.) French fried onions
Heat the oven to 400°F. Stir the soup, milk, mustard, pepper, pasta and 1 1/2 cups of the cheese in a 1 1/2-quart casserole. Bake for 20 minutes or until it's hot and bubbling. Stir the mixture. Sprinkle with the onions and remaining cheese. Bake for 1 minute or until the onions are golden. *************************** German Chocolate Sauerkraut Cake "The sauerkraut cannot be tasted; you think you're eating coconut!"
Original Recipe Yield 1 -8-inch, 2-layer cake Ingredients
2/3 cup butter
1 1/3 cups white sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 1/4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups water
2/3 cup drained and chopped sauerkraut
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 8-inch pans, round or square.
Thoroughly cream together butter and sugar. Beat in eggs and vanilla.
Sift together cocoa, flour, baking powder, soda, and salt, and add alternately with water to egg mixture. Stir in the sauerkraut. Pour batter into prepared pans.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 30 minutes or until a wooden pick comes out clean. Frost with your favorite chocolate or white frosting.
Nutritional Information
Amount Per Serving Calories: 291 | Total Fat: 12.2g | Cholesterol: 80mg Powered by
German Chocolate Sauerkraut Cake
Servings Per Recipe: 12
Amount Per Serving Calories: 291 Total Fat: 12.2g
Cholesterol: 80mg
Sodium: 312mg
Total Carbs: 42.6g
Dietary Fiber: 2g
Protein: 4.9g *************************** Baker's Dozen Yeast Rolls 13 Servings
Prep: 25 min. + rising Bake: 15 min. 25 Ingredients
2 to 2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons sugar
1 package (1/4 ounce) quick-rise yeast
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup warm water (120° to 130°)
2 tablespoons plus 4 teaspoons butter, melted, divided
3/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
2 teaspoons honey
1/8 teaspoon garlic salt Directions
In a large bowl, combine 1-1/2 cups flour, sugar, yeast and salt. Add water and 2 tablespoons butter; beat on medium speed for 3 minutes or until smooth. Stir in cheese and enough remaining flour to form a soft dough.
Turn onto a lightly floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 4-6 minutes. Cover and let rest for 10 minutes. Divide into 13 pieces. Shape each into a ball. Place in a greased 9-in. round baking pan. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 30 minutes.
Bake at 375° for 11-14 minutes or until lightly browned. Combine the honey, garlic salt and remaining butter; brush over rolls. Remove to a wire rack to cool. Yield: 13 rolls.
Nutrition Facts: 1 roll equals 131 calories, 5 g fat (3 g saturated fat), 15 mg cholesterol, 169 mg sodium, 18 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 4 g protein. Diabetic Exchanges: 1 starch, 1 fat.
Baker's Dozen Yeast Rolls published in Simple & Delicious January/February *************************** Chocolate Guinness Cake One bite and everyone will propose a toast to this moist, chocolaty cake. The cream cheese frosting resembles the foamy head on a pint. 12 Servings Prep: 25
Bake: 45 min. + cooling 25
Ingredients
1 cup Guinness (dark beer)
1/2 cup butter, cubed
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup baking cocoa
2 eggs, beaten
2/3 cup sour cream
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda
TOPPING:
1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
1-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream Directions
Grease a 9-in. springform pan and line the bottom with parchment paper; set aside.
In a small saucepan, heat beer and butter until butter is melted. Remove from the heat; whisk in sugar and cocoa until blended. Combine the eggs, sour cream and vanilla; whisk into beer mixture. Combine flour and baking soda; whisk into beer mixture until smooth. Pour batter into prepared pan.
Bake at 350° for 45-50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool completely in pan on a wire rack. Remove sides of pan.
In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Add confectioners’ sugar and cream; beat until smooth (do not overbeat). Remove cake from the pan and place on a platter or cake stand. Ice top of cake so that it resembles a frothy pint of beer. Refrigerate leftovers. Yield: 12 servings.
Nutrition Facts: 1 slice equals 494 calories, 22 g fat (13 g saturated fat), 99 mg cholesterol, 288 mg sodium, 69 g carbohydrate, 2 g fiber, 6 g protein.
*************************** THE HORTH WHITHPERER
If you don't laugh out loud at this, you're just not trying!! A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, 'How will I recognize him?''That's easy; he's a dwarf with a speech impediment.' So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. A female horth.' So he shows him a prized filly. 'Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?' So the guy picks up the dwarf and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. 'Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?' So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. 'Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf?' The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. 'Nice mouf, can I see her twat?' Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the dwarf's head up the horse's vagina, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. 'Perhapth I should rephrase that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?'> *************************** If you have ever used an electric fence or know someone who has one, you should read this. The language used is a bit salty, but 'he tells it like it is' without cursing. If you don't laugh hysterically at this,....CHECK YOUR PULSE...this is funny....and true. This was sent by a retired dentist. We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works. One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. so I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down, hesitating, but feeling sure I did unplug it, to grab it and throw it out of the way. Well, it seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all. Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of shit lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses. Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand. At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences ... but Dad always had those piece of shit chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please let me die .... Pleeeeaze . But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot. So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day .... he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created. I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire .... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things: 1 - Three of my teeth seem to have melted. 2 - I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek
(not the left, just the right). 3 - Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think. 4 - My left eye will not open. 5 - My right eye will not close. 6 - The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that. 7 - My testicles are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long. 8 - I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???). That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow. The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow. *************************** Worried about Alzeimer??
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected 'knock' on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger. Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.' Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I've been in here already?'
The moral of the story:
Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.
PS.. Have I shared this with you before?? *************************** If you don't laugh at this one, your dead! Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in. One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!,' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?' Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. 'OK' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?' Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.' As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his 'You-Know- What' in his hand. 'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel, 'Not that DamnBreathalyzerTest again.!!!' ( NOW I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, THAT'S FUNNY!)
*************************** Adult Truths
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
*************************** The Buttocks
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the
Man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the Husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body Because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate Some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body That the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about wher e the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After All, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his Friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful Beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?' 'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.'
*************************** SOME BEAUTIFUL ADVICE TO END THIS WITH: An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' 1. Go to bed on time.
2 Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
3. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
4. Delegate tasks to capable others.
5. Simplify and unclutter your life.
6. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
7. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
8. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
9. Take one day at a time.
10. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
11. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
12.. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
13. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
14. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
15. Carry a book with you to read while waiting in line.
16. Get enough rest.
17. Eat right.
18. Get organized so everything has its place.
19. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
20. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
21. Every day, find time to be alone.
22. Having problems? Talk to someone. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed.
23. Make friends.
24. Laugh.
25. Laugh some more!
26 Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
27. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
28. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
29. Sit on your ego.
30 Talk less; listen more.
31. Slow down.
32. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
33. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. IT MAY HAVE A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Go forward unafraid. Listen to My Voice. My Hand is controlling all." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Let Children Come Mark 10:15, NIV: "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." What do you see in your childhood eyes? Looking back to days gone by, what do you recall the most? How did you view the world? How did you view yourself? How did you view God? In childhood years, everything is big and new. Pain is severe, and happiness is more wonderful than our strongest laughter can express. In childhood years, the world is so very big, and we are so very, very small, and God...God is the greatest question yet to be answered. Is it any wonder that the greatest Wonder can only truly be experienced with the wonder of childhood eyes? Christ--Wonder of wonders He is. He still holds great wonder for His children. To any who will embrace Him with the faith of a child, He offers the world--a world that is so very big, so very wonderful and new, and so very exciting. Such a world is ready for you to experience today if you will look on Christ through childlike faith. He still entreats, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. - Isaiah 53:5 ********************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: billion • BILL-yun • noun
1 : the number 1,000,000,000 : a thousand million b British, old-fashioned : the number 1,000,000,000,000 : a million million 2 : a very large number Examples:
If you were to count to a billion at the rate of one number per second, it would take you over 31 and a half years to finish. "'Charlie Sheen has been lining Lorre's and Warner Bros. pockets with what will amount to billions of dollars through Mr. Sheen's work on 177 episodes on the series, and Mr. Sheen has been ready, willing and able to work to finish out the season,' his lawsuit states." -- From an Associated Press Online article, March 11, 2011 ********************************** THINGS TO PONDER: If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box? You might be a REDNECK if...
...your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.
"Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you're going to use it by
knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by
maintaining focus." - Oprah
Johnny Carson
"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing." Margaret Mead
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." Dan Quisenberry
"I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer."
**********************************
DOG TIPS AND INFO: 1 in 3 Dogs Will Get Cancer - Is Your Dog at Risk?
Having your dog diagnosed with cancer has got to be one of the most frightening things. This may be a remote thought for many of you who have happy and healthy dogs, but canine cancer is more common than you might think. Did you know that the National Canine Cancer Foundation estimates that 1 in 3 dogs will suffer from cancer. As a matter of fact, cancer accounts for almost half of all deaths in pets over 10 years of age.
My goal is to educate all of my Pet Place subscribers about how to keep your dog healthy and how to spot the warning signs of canine cancer. Cancer can occur in or under the skin, and it can affect just about any location or organ in the body. Various types of cancer can result in different areas of the body, and the signs of cancer vary with the location and type of cancer. The aggressiveness of the cancer will depend on the type of cancer, the location and the individual pet. The earlier you seek treatment the better, so it is important that you know the common warning signs of cancer so you can act quickly. Signs of Canine Cancer Dogs get many of the same types of cancer as humans, and frequent physical exams and diagnostic tests help detect cancer before it is too late for treatment. Some common signs of cancer in dogs are: Any lump or mass that appears to be increasing in size
Any sore that does not heal
Change in bowel or bladder habits
Difficulty urinating or defecating
Unexplained bleeding or discharge from any body opening
Loss of appetite
Weight loss
Difficulty breathing
Persistent lameness or stiffness
Offensive odor
Difficulty eating or swallowing
As always, monitor your dog on a regular basis and alert your vet to any changes or abnormalities.
Treating a dog with cancer can be expensive. How can you make sure that you can provide the very best care for your dog should this happen? I recommend that you get pet insurance while your dog is still under 6 years of age and in relatively good health. A small pet insurance premium is much more affordable than large veterinary bills.
Take a few minutes to learn about the benefits of pet insurance and how it can give you peace of mind knowing you can care for your dog in the event he gets cancer or some other major disease. ************************************
TODAY'S PET TIP
Removing Skunk Odor
Skunked again?
This time forget the tomato juice. Try a mixture of 10 parts hydrogen peroxide to 1 part baking soda.
Add a dash of degreasing dishwashing soap and pour into a spray bottle. Spray liberally over dry coat and allow to air dry. Avoid eyes. Works on inanimate objects, too!
Dog Bloat, Dog vomiting, Dog gastric dilatation and volvulus, GDV, Pet Insurance
************************** Calm Thyself
We all have times when stress, anxiety, and sleeplessness enter our lives. Here are traditional herbal remedies to help. First, calm thyself. If gardening or another relaxing activity doesn’t calm your nerves and make you sleep well, try a tea (really a tisane, from the Greek for “medicinal brewâ€).
Teas of chamomile, basil, or marjoram help to ease stress. Use about 1 ounce of fresh herbs (half of that, if dried) for every 2 to 3 cups of water.
Do not eat your final meal late in the evening; keep the meal light.
For insomnia, drink bee balm tea. Take an infusion of 2 teaspoons of chopped leaves in 1 cup of boiling water.
Try putting a few drops of lavender oil in your nose (with a cotton swab).
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. –Irish proverb
**********************************
SPANAKOPITA
Recipe for Traditional Greek Spinach and Feta Cheese Pie
2 lbs. fresh spinach leaves
1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley
1/2 cup chopped fresh dill
2 cups finely chopped green onions
1 1/2 tsp. fine Traditional Portuguese Sea Salt
1/4 cup Organic Extra-virgin Olive Oil
3 cups chopped onion
1/4 tsp. coarse ground black pepper
1/2 lb. feta cheese, crumbled (traditionally made from sheeps milk, feta cheese from goat milk is also good)
14 filo leaves (usually sold frozen, thaw thoroughly!)
3/4 cup clarified butter (ghee), melted.
DIRECTIONS: 1) Wash and clean the spinach. Discard the stems. Drain & cut the leaves into shreds. 2) Combine the spinach, parsley, dill, green onions and grey sea salt in a bowl. Let stand for 15 minutes, then press out all of the liquid. 3) Heat the extra virgin olive oil in a skillet and saute the 3 cups of chopped onions until soft and transparent. Add the spinach mixture from step 2 and saute for a few more minutes. Add the feta cheese and black pepper. 4) Place each of 7 filo leaves in a buttered 10" x 17" x 2" baking pan, bruhing each leaf with melted clarified butter. Add the spinach mixture from step 3, spread into a thick layer then add remaining filo leaves, again brushing each leaf with melted clarified butter. Cut into 3"x 3" pieces with a sharp knife. 5) Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown. ********************************** Easy Chicken Paprika How's this for easy elegance… sautéed chicken is added to a creamy mushroom sauce seasoned with paprika and red pepper. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 20
1 tbsp. butter
1 1/4 lbs. skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
2 tsp. paprika
1/8 tsp. ground red pepper
1/3 cup sour cream or plain yogurt
2/3 of a 12-ounce package medium egg noodles (about 4 cups), cooked and drained
Heat the butter in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chicken and cook for 10 minutes or until well browned on both sides. Stir the soup, paprika and red pepper in the skillet and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Stir in the sour cream and cook until the sauce is hot and bubbling. Serve the chicken and sauce with the noodles.
RECIPE TIPS:
Ingredient Note: We develop our recipes using a 4-to 5-ounce skinless, boneless chicken breast half per serving. However, there are a range of sizes available in-store, from the butcher counter to the meat case and the freezer section. Use whichever you prefer- just follow the recipe as written above for the best result. If you're using larger chicken breasts they may require a little longer cooking time.
********************************** Apples and Pork This can be made in a slow cooker; simply follow the directions for cooking pork. Yield: 6 to 8 servings 3 to 4 pounds lean pork (boneless is preferred, but boned chops can be used)
6 cups applesauce
2 tablespoons apple pie spice
6 small red-skin potatoes
4 carrots, peeled and coarsely cut
2 cups white pearl onions, peeled
salt and pepper, to taste
2 firm tart apples, peeled, cored, and thinly sliced
Cut the pork into large chunks. Put the pork, applesauce, and spice into a large pot. Cover and cook on medium heat for 10 minutes. Reduce the heat to a low simmer and cook for 4 hours. One to 1-1/2 hours before the cooking finishes, add the potatoes, carrots, and onions and stir. Season with salt and pepper. Fifteen minutes before the cooking finishes, add the apple slices and stir. Remove the pork, vegetables, and apples to a large platter and pour 1 cup of the sauce over it all. Serve the remaining sauce on the side.
********************************** Campbell's No-Guilt Chicken Pot Pie You can feel good about serving this comforting pot pie. It takes just 10 minutes to put together before baking, it's loaded with veggies and chicken, and the crust is made from reduced fat baking mix...so grab a fork and dig in! Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 30 1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell's Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
1 pkg. (about 9 ounces) frozen mixed vegetables, thawed (about 2 cups)
1 cup cubed cooked chicken
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
1 cup reduced fat all-purpose baking mix
DIRECTIONS:
1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees F. Stir the soup, vegetables and chicken in a 9-inch pie plate.
2. Stir the milk, egg and baking mix in a small bowl. Spread the batter over the chicken mixture. Bake for 30 minutes or until the topping is golden brown.
**********************************
Chicken Waikiki
Prep Time 35 Minutes
Total Time 1:20 Hr:Mins
Makes 6 servings Here's a spectacular spin on sweet-and-sour chicken. Aloha! 3 1/2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cups uncooked regular long-grain white rice
1 can (20 oz) pineapple chunks in juice
1 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon grated gingerroot or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/3 cup cider vinegar
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 medium red bell pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces (1 cup)
1 medium green bell pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces (1 cup)
6 boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 1 1/2 lb)
Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 13x9-inch (3-quart) glass baking dish with cooking spray. In 2-quart saucepan, heat 3 cups of the broth to boiling over high heat. Add rice; reduce heat to medium-low. Cover; simmer about 20 minutes or until liquid is absorbed.
Meanwhile, drain pineapple juice into 2-cup measuring cup; add remaining 1/2 cup broth to make 1 1/4 cups. In another 2-quart saucepan, mix pineapple liquid, sugar, cornstarch, gingerroot, vinegar and soy sauce. Heat to boiling over high heat. Cook about 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Stir in bell peppers and pineapple.
Cut chicken into 2 1/2x1-inch strips. Spread rice in baking dish; arrange chicken strips over rice. Pour pineapple mixture over chicken and rice.
Cover dish with foil. Bake about 45 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink in center and mixture is bubbly.
**********************************
Orchid hunting was a wholesale business at the turn of the century. When one particular orchid hunter finally tracked down the Cattleya rex, he gathered an incredible 17,000 specimens of it. In 1885, B.S. Williams wrote, "in their native country the plants are heedlessly torn from their native habitats … some of our collectors having so little respect for these treasures of nature's production that they gather all they can, having no regard for the future."
QUICK CARE FOR YOUR ORCHIDS A. Phalaenopsis hybrids enjoy the light behind curtains and window blinds in this master bedroom.
B. When watering your orchids, take care to avoid wetting the leaves. If water gets trapped in between the leaves, dry them quickly by using a piece of tissue or a cotton ball.
C. After watering, do not allow residual or standing water to come in contact with the base of the orchid pot.
D. When the last flower drops, cut your flower spike halfway down the stem. A possible rebloom will occur if you continue caring for your orchid. Simply follow orchid care guidelines. Q: How often should I water my orchid?
A: Many people make the mistake of assuming that since orchids are native to tropical rainforests, they must be watered several times a week. Unfortunately, watering this frequently will kill the roots of any orchid in short order. The general rule of thumb for orchids grown in the home is to water every 5 to 12 days, depending on the type of orchid, the temperature the plant is grown in, and the time of year. During the warm summer months when days are long, more frequent watering is required than in the cooler, shorter days of winter. There are three basic types of orchids, as far as watering is concerned: those that should be kept evenly moist at all times; those that should be allowed to nearly dry out between waterings, except when in active growth; and those that should always be allowed to dry out a bit between waterings. The guidelines below list the major varieties of orchid in each type. Varieties to keep evenly moist (not soggy or wet) at all times:
Paphiopedilum, Miltonia, Cymbidium, Odontoglossum, Varieties to keep evenly moist during active growth, allowed to dry out between waterings when not:
Cattleya, Oncidium, Brassia, Dendrobium. Varieties to keep nearly dry between waterings:
Phalaenopsis, Vanda, Ascocenda. In a family of plants as large as Orchidaceae, there are, of course, exceptions to these rules. Always be sure to ask for watering instructions when you purchase a variety of orchid with which you are unfamiliar. Q: How often should I be fertilizing my orchids?
A: Be sure to use an orchid food that is formulated for orchids and follow the instructions on the label. In general, most orchid fertilizers recommend usage once a month. Less frequent fertilizing may stunt growth and inhibit flowering; more frequent fertilizing may burn the roots and leaves and inhibit flowering. For complete step-by-step instructions on how to feed your orchids, click here.
Be sure to use an orchid food that is formulated for orchids and follow the label instructions. In general, most orchid fertilizers recommend use once a month. Less frequent fertilizing may stunt growth and inhibit flowering, more frequent fertilizing may burn the roots and leaves and inhibit flowering. For complete step-by-step instructions on how to feed your orchids, click here. Q: What do I do when my phalaenopsis stops blooming?
A: If your plant has healthy, with thick, green leaves that have not become wrinkled or drooping, cut the old flower stem up high, just above a "node" and just below the lowest bloom. The plant will frequently send out a new flowering branch at that location. If your plant has thin, wilted leaves, or if the plant is small, with only 3-to-4-inch-long leaves, it is best to cut the flower stem all the way down, so that the plant does not weaken itself by blooming again right away. Carefully water and fertilize your plant to build it back into shape for future flowering on a brand-new stem. This can take up to a year or more, as Phalaenopsis, like most orchids, is a relatively slow-growing plant. Q: I am growing my phalaenopsis orchid in the house but they never bloom. What can I do?
A: The most common reason for any orchid not to bloom is insufficient light. Move your phalaenopsis plants to a window where they will receive strong, but indirect light (near a south-facing window is ideal). You might also try lighting your plants with a fluorescent light fixture placed about 1-2 feet above the foliage. Give up to 12 hours of supplemental light per day. Phalaenopsis will also develop flower spikes in response to a cool period of about four weeks with night temperatures of 55F. After the cool treatment, raise the night temperature back to the normal 60-65F minimum. See if these changes to your growing conditions help to stimulate your plants to bloom. Q: How do I know if my orchid is getting the proper amount of light?
A: One good indicator is leaf color. Generally speaking, the leaves should be bright green rather than dark green. Dark green indicates too little light while reddish green indicated too much light. Those orchids requiring higher light intensities, such as cattleyas, dendrobiums and oncidiums, should be placed in a south or west facing window, but be sure to protect the leaves from the hot mid-day sun with sheer curtains or move the plants back from the window on hot summer days. Miltonias, phalaenopsis and paphiopedilums prefer lower light intensities and should be located further away from the window or placed in a window facing east or north. Q: The orchid in my window suddenly developed black blotches on the leaves. Is it sick
A: It sounds like your plant has a bad case of sunburn! Longer, brighter days can increase the light intensity in your window so that the leaves get too hot and burn. You need to move your plant back from the window or put up sheer curtains to help protect it from direct sunlight. As the light intensity decreases in the fall, move your plant closer to the window again. Frequently check their leaves and watch for any fading of their green color, especially on those parts of the leaf closest to the window. This is an early indication that they are being exposed to too much sun. Q: How do I know if I need to re-pot?
A: A newly potted phalaenopsis should be able to remain in its growth media two years before repotting. When there are many, long roots over the edge of the pot, this plant has most likely been growing for several years since its last repotting. If your plant is not currently in bloom, you should repot now. Be sure to remove all dead roots that are usually dark-colored, soft and mushy. Sometimes they may be dry, with a fiber running through the middle of the root. Center the plant with all of its roots down in the pot and add moistened bark until the level of the bark is just below the bottom of the lower set of leaves. Wait a week before resuming your normal watering and fertilizing routine. Q: My phalaenopsis has been in flower for quite a while and now it seems to be forming what looks like a new plant on the flower stem! Will it grow if I pot it and what type of soil is best?
A: Congratulations! With proper care you will have a new plant, identical in every way to your original phalaenopsis. Wait until the new plant has developed a strong little root system of its own, with two or three roots at least one to two inches long. Then, carefully cut the plantlet, called a keiki, from the flower stem and put it in a very small pot of seedling bark for its first potting. After a year or two, move up to medium-sized bark in a four to five inch pot. Alternatively, you can pot the keiki in special orchid sphagnum moss. Be sure to go light with the fertilizer for the first few months. Once the plant has established itself, as evidenced by increased leaf growth, start with full-strength fertilizing. Q: I would like to try growing orchids under lights in my house. What type of light fixtures and bulbs do you recommend that I try?
A: Many hobbyists have been successful with just ordinary fluorescent lights. You can also buy the more expensive fluorescent plant lights that give off a broader spectrum of light. An inexpensive way to achieve similar results is to use one cool-white fluorescent to one warm-white fluorescent bulb. The cool-white bulb will give off more of the blue wavelengths of the visible spectrum while the warm-white gives the plants more of the red end of the spectrum. Such a broad spectrum of light helps assure better growing and blooming. Some people also add one incandescent bulb to enhance the red end of the spectrum but be sure you don't burn your plants with the heat given off by this type of bulb. Q: My mother gave me an orchid that is called Dendrobium Phalaenopsis. I am confused. Is this a type of phalaenopsis and how do I care for it?
A: There are more than one thousand different species belonging to the genus Dendrobium. One species, Dendrobium phalaenopsis, has been frequently used to make hybrids. These hybrid orchids are noted for their upright, branching sprays of brightly colored flowers that resemble those of the genus Phalaenopsis. They basically prefer the same growing conditions as for phalaenopsis but dendrobiums will perform better in a brighter location in your home. Place them in a bright window, but without direct hot sun (south facing window is ideal). Sheer curtains will protect your plants from the burning rays. The ideal minimum night temperature is between 60-65F. The ideal day temperature is 75-85F. Phalaenopsis type dendrobiums like to have their potting medium dry out a bit between waterings. Q: What causes the new growth on my miltonia (``pansy orchid") to be crinkled?
A: Crinkled leaves are an indicator that the plant received insufficient water while the new leaves were developing. This can be caused by either loss of roots due to keeping the growing media too wet, which has killed most of the roots, or by simply not enough water to an otherwise healthy root system. Miltonias prefer to have their roots constantly damp, but never soggy. Older growing media will tend to hold water for longer periods of time so be careful not to overwater. Miltonias also prefer lots of humidity, with 50-75% being the ideal amount. Light, morning misting of the foliage is helpful in hot, dry conditions but be sure to keep standing water out of the leaves or soft rot may develop, especially if there is poor air circulation around your plants. Q: What is the difference between a terrestrial and an epiphytic orchid?
A: Terrestrial orchids live on the ground, usually in a water-retentive humus of rotting wood and leaves. These orchids need a constantly moist, but never soggy, medium in which to grow. Paphiopedilums and cymbidiums are examples. Epiphytic orchids live on the branches of other plants -- usually trees. They are not parasites -- they obtain no food from the trees on which they grow. Epiphytic orchids have "air-roots" which are accustomed to drying out in between periods of rain. These orchids need an open medium in which to grow and the roots should be allowed to become moderately dry between waterings. Cattleyas, vandas, phalaenopsis, and dendrobiums are common examples. Q: What's the difference between a hybrid seedling and a meristem seedling?
A: A hybrid seedling is an orchid plant that has been produced by seed through the hybridization process. Two parent plants were used to produce the seed and the individual seedlings all have their own unique characteristics, like brothers and sisters in a family. A meristem seedling is a seedling that has been produced using the cloning process. Each "mericlone" plant has an identical genetic make-up and each meristem or mericlone plant will look exactly the same, like identical twins. Q: I have just purchased a mottled-leaved paphiopedilum. Do I care for this plant the same as the plain, green-leaved paphs?
A: Like their solid green-leaved relatives, the mottled-leaved paphiopedilums prefer less light than many orchids and are well suited for growing in your home. Place them near a bright window but out of the direct sunlight. Both types of paphs should be kept continuously moist but not soggy. The solid green-leaved types are cool growers that prefer night temperatures of 50-55F and day temperatures of 75-80F. The mottled-leaved types are warm growers that prefer night temperatures above 60F and day temperatures of up to 85F. Q: What are the most common orchid pests?
A: Snails and slugs often hide in the potting media where they chew on young root tips; they also come out at night to chew on the leaves and stems. There are several insect pests that are common: Aphids (small sucking insects) and thrips (small chewing insects) attack tender new growth, flowers and buds. Scale insects form a brown or black crust on leaves and stems. Mealybugs also attack the leaves and stems forming a white cottony mass. Consult a local garden center for products to control these pests. ********************************** A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." ********************************** Running into the house after school Tommy said to his mother, “Mom! Isn’t an ox a kind of a bull?†“Yesâ€, she replied. “And doesn’t equine have something to do with horses?†“That’s right.†She said. Running out of the house Tommy said “I’ll see you later!†“Why? Where are you going?†asked his mother. “To some other town I just heard in school that the equinox is coming, and I don’t wanna be around when it gets here!†********************************** Sheikh's son goes to Germany to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train." Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying: "Stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too." ********************************** Employer: "We need someone responsible for this job." "Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible." ******************************** Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed? Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog? Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog. 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar. 4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. 5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. 8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table 9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. 11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. 12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Go forward unafraid. Listen to My Voice. My Hand is controlling all." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: Let Children Come Mark 10:15, NIV: "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." What do you see in your childhood eyes? Looking back to days gone by, what do you recall the most? How did you view the world? How did you view yourself? How did you view God? In childhood years, everything is big and new. Pain is severe, and happiness is more wonderful than our strongest laughter can express. In childhood years, the world is so very big, and we are so very, very small, and God...God is the greatest question yet to be answered. Is it any wonder that the greatest Wonder can only truly be experienced with the wonder of childhood eyes? Christ--Wonder of wonders He is. He still holds great wonder for His children. To any who will embrace Him with the faith of a child, He offers the world--a world that is so very big, so very wonderful and new, and so very exciting. Such a world is ready for you to experience today if you will look on Christ through childlike faith. He still entreats, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. - Isaiah 53:5 ********************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: billion • BILL-yun • noun
1 : the number 1,000,000,000 : a thousand million b British, old-fashioned : the number 1,000,000,000,000 : a million million 2 : a very large number Examples:
If you were to count to a billion at the rate of one number per second, it would take you over 31 and a half years to finish. "'Charlie Sheen has been lining Lorre's and Warner Bros. pockets with what will amount to billions of dollars through Mr. Sheen's work on 177 episodes on the series, and Mr. Sheen has been ready, willing and able to work to finish out the season,' his lawsuit states." -- From an Associated Press Online article, March 11, 2011 ********************************** THINGS TO PONDER: If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box? You might be a REDNECK if...
...your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.
"Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you're going to use it by
knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by
maintaining focus." - Oprah
Johnny Carson
"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing." Margaret Mead
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." Dan Quisenberry
"I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer."
**********************************
DOG TIPS AND INFO: 1 in 3 Dogs Will Get Cancer - Is Your Dog at Risk?
Having your dog diagnosed with cancer has got to be one of the most frightening things. This may be a remote thought for many of you who have happy and healthy dogs, but canine cancer is more common than you might think. Did you know that the National Canine Cancer Foundation estimates that 1 in 3 dogs will suffer from cancer. As a matter of fact, cancer accounts for almost half of all deaths in pets over 10 years of age.
My goal is to educate all of my Pet Place subscribers about how to keep your dog healthy and how to spot the warning signs of canine cancer. Cancer can occur in or under the skin, and it can affect just about any location or organ in the body. Various types of cancer can result in different areas of the body, and the signs of cancer vary with the location and type of cancer. The aggressiveness of the cancer will depend on the type of cancer, the location and the individual pet. The earlier you seek treatment the better, so it is important that you know the common warning signs of cancer so you can act quickly. Signs of Canine Cancer Dogs get many of the same types of cancer as humans, and frequent physical exams and diagnostic tests help detect cancer before it is too late for treatment. Some common signs of cancer in dogs are: Any lump or mass that appears to be increasing in size
Any sore that does not heal
Change in bowel or bladder habits
Difficulty urinating or defecating
Unexplained bleeding or discharge from any body opening
Loss of appetite
Weight loss
Difficulty breathing
Persistent lameness or stiffness
Offensive odor
Difficulty eating or swallowing
As always, monitor your dog on a regular basis and alert your vet to any changes or abnormalities.
Treating a dog with cancer can be expensive. How can you make sure that you can provide the very best care for your dog should this happen? I recommend that you get pet insurance while your dog is still under 6 years of age and in relatively good health. A small pet insurance premium is much more affordable than large veterinary bills.
Take a few minutes to learn about the benefits of pet insurance and how it can give you peace of mind knowing you can care for your dog in the event he gets cancer or some other major disease. ************************************
TODAY'S PET TIP
Removing Skunk Odor
Skunked again?
This time forget the tomato juice. Try a mixture of 10 parts hydrogen peroxide to 1 part baking soda.
Add a dash of degreasing dishwashing soap and pour into a spray bottle. Spray liberally over dry coat and allow to air dry. Avoid eyes. Works on inanimate objects, too!
Dog Bloat, Dog vomiting, Dog gastric dilatation and volvulus, GDV, Pet Insurance
************************** Calm Thyself
We all have times when stress, anxiety, and sleeplessness enter our lives. Here are traditional herbal remedies to help. First, calm thyself. If gardening or another relaxing activity doesn’t calm your nerves and make you sleep well, try a tea (really a tisane, from the Greek for “medicinal brewâ€).
Teas of chamomile, basil, or marjoram help to ease stress. Use about 1 ounce of fresh herbs (half of that, if dried) for every 2 to 3 cups of water.
Do not eat your final meal late in the evening; keep the meal light.
For insomnia, drink bee balm tea. Take an infusion of 2 teaspoons of chopped leaves in 1 cup of boiling water.
Try putting a few drops of lavender oil in your nose (with a cotton swab).
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. –Irish proverb
**********************************
SPANAKOPITA
Recipe for Traditional Greek Spinach and Feta Cheese Pie
2 lbs. fresh spinach leaves
1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley
1/2 cup chopped fresh dill
2 cups finely chopped green onions
1 1/2 tsp. fine Traditional Portuguese Sea Salt
1/4 cup Organic Extra-virgin Olive Oil
3 cups chopped onion
1/4 tsp. coarse ground black pepper
1/2 lb. feta cheese, crumbled (traditionally made from sheeps milk, feta cheese from goat milk is also good)
14 filo leaves (usually sold frozen, thaw thoroughly!)
3/4 cup clarified butter (ghee), melted.
DIRECTIONS: 1) Wash and clean the spinach. Discard the stems. Drain & cut the leaves into shreds. 2) Combine the spinach, parsley, dill, green onions and grey sea salt in a bowl. Let stand for 15 minutes, then press out all of the liquid. 3) Heat the extra virgin olive oil in a skillet and saute the 3 cups of chopped onions until soft and transparent. Add the spinach mixture from step 2 and saute for a few more minutes. Add the feta cheese and black pepper. 4) Place each of 7 filo leaves in a buttered 10" x 17" x 2" baking pan, bruhing each leaf with melted clarified butter. Add the spinach mixture from step 3, spread into a thick layer then add remaining filo leaves, again brushing each leaf with melted clarified butter. Cut into 3"x 3" pieces with a sharp knife. 5) Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown. ********************************** Easy Chicken Paprika How's this for easy elegance… sautéed chicken is added to a creamy mushroom sauce seasoned with paprika and red pepper. Serves: 4
Prep. time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 20
1 tbsp. butter
1 1/4 lbs. skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
2 tsp. paprika
1/8 tsp. ground red pepper
1/3 cup sour cream or plain yogurt
2/3 of a 12-ounce package medium egg noodles (about 4 cups), cooked and drained
Heat the butter in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chicken and cook for 10 minutes or until well browned on both sides. Stir the soup, paprika and red pepper in the skillet and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Stir in the sour cream and cook until the sauce is hot and bubbling. Serve the chicken and sauce with the noodles.
RECIPE TIPS:
Ingredient Note: We develop our recipes using a 4-to 5-ounce skinless, boneless chicken breast half per serving. However, there are a range of sizes available in-store, from the butcher counter to the meat case and the freezer section. Use whichever you prefer- just follow the recipe as written above for the best result. If you're using larger chicken breasts they may require a little longer cooking time.
********************************** Apples and Pork This can be made in a slow cooker; simply follow the directions for cooking pork. Yield: 6 to 8 servings 3 to 4 pounds lean pork (boneless is preferred, but boned chops can be used)
6 cups applesauce
2 tablespoons apple pie spice
6 small red-skin potatoes
4 carrots, peeled and coarsely cut
2 cups white pearl onions, peeled
salt and pepper, to taste
2 firm tart apples, peeled, cored, and thinly sliced
Cut the pork into large chunks. Put the pork, applesauce, and spice into a large pot. Cover and cook on medium heat for 10 minutes. Reduce the heat to a low simmer and cook for 4 hours. One to 1-1/2 hours before the cooking finishes, add the potatoes, carrots, and onions and stir. Season with salt and pepper. Fifteen minutes before the cooking finishes, add the apple slices and stir. Remove the pork, vegetables, and apples to a large platter and pour 1 cup of the sauce over it all. Serve the remaining sauce on the side.
********************************** Campbell's No-Guilt Chicken Pot Pie You can feel good about serving this comforting pot pie. It takes just 10 minutes to put together before baking, it's loaded with veggies and chicken, and the crust is made from reduced fat baking mix...so grab a fork and dig in! Serves: 4
Prep. time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 30 1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell's Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
1 pkg. (about 9 ounces) frozen mixed vegetables, thawed (about 2 cups)
1 cup cubed cooked chicken
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
1 cup reduced fat all-purpose baking mix
DIRECTIONS:
1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees F. Stir the soup, vegetables and chicken in a 9-inch pie plate.
2. Stir the milk, egg and baking mix in a small bowl. Spread the batter over the chicken mixture. Bake for 30 minutes or until the topping is golden brown.
**********************************
Chicken Waikiki
Prep Time 35 Minutes
Total Time 1:20 Hr:Mins
Makes 6 servings Here's a spectacular spin on sweet-and-sour chicken. Aloha! 3 1/2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cups uncooked regular long-grain white rice
1 can (20 oz) pineapple chunks in juice
1 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon grated gingerroot or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/3 cup cider vinegar
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 medium red bell pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces (1 cup)
1 medium green bell pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces (1 cup)
6 boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 1 1/2 lb)
Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 13x9-inch (3-quart) glass baking dish with cooking spray. In 2-quart saucepan, heat 3 cups of the broth to boiling over high heat. Add rice; reduce heat to medium-low. Cover; simmer about 20 minutes or until liquid is absorbed.
Meanwhile, drain pineapple juice into 2-cup measuring cup; add remaining 1/2 cup broth to make 1 1/4 cups. In another 2-quart saucepan, mix pineapple liquid, sugar, cornstarch, gingerroot, vinegar and soy sauce. Heat to boiling over high heat. Cook about 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Stir in bell peppers and pineapple.
Cut chicken into 2 1/2x1-inch strips. Spread rice in baking dish; arrange chicken strips over rice. Pour pineapple mixture over chicken and rice.
Cover dish with foil. Bake about 45 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink in center and mixture is bubbly.
**********************************
Orchid hunting was a wholesale business at the turn of the century. When one particular orchid hunter finally tracked down the Cattleya rex, he gathered an incredible 17,000 specimens of it. In 1885, B.S. Williams wrote, "in their native country the plants are heedlessly torn from their native habitats … some of our collectors having so little respect for these treasures of nature's production that they gather all they can, having no regard for the future."
QUICK CARE FOR YOUR ORCHIDS A. Phalaenopsis hybrids enjoy the light behind curtains and window blinds in this master bedroom.
B. When watering your orchids, take care to avoid wetting the leaves. If water gets trapped in between the leaves, dry them quickly by using a piece of tissue or a cotton ball.
C. After watering, do not allow residual or standing water to come in contact with the base of the orchid pot.
D. When the last flower drops, cut your flower spike halfway down the stem. A possible rebloom will occur if you continue caring for your orchid. Simply follow orchid care guidelines. Q: How often should I water my orchid?
A: Many people make the mistake of assuming that since orchids are native to tropical rainforests, they must be watered several times a week. Unfortunately, watering this frequently will kill the roots of any orchid in short order. The general rule of thumb for orchids grown in the home is to water every 5 to 12 days, depending on the type of orchid, the temperature the plant is grown in, and the time of year. During the warm summer months when days are long, more frequent watering is required than in the cooler, shorter days of winter. There are three basic types of orchids, as far as watering is concerned: those that should be kept evenly moist at all times; those that should be allowed to nearly dry out between waterings, except when in active growth; and those that should always be allowed to dry out a bit between waterings. The guidelines below list the major varieties of orchid in each type. Varieties to keep evenly moist (not soggy or wet) at all times:
Paphiopedilum, Miltonia, Cymbidium, Odontoglossum, Varieties to keep evenly moist during active growth, allowed to dry out between waterings when not:
Cattleya, Oncidium, Brassia, Dendrobium. Varieties to keep nearly dry between waterings:
Phalaenopsis, Vanda, Ascocenda. In a family of plants as large as Orchidaceae, there are, of course, exceptions to these rules. Always be sure to ask for watering instructions when you purchase a variety of orchid with which you are unfamiliar. Q: How often should I be fertilizing my orchids?
A: Be sure to use an orchid food that is formulated for orchids and follow the instructions on the label. In general, most orchid fertilizers recommend usage once a month. Less frequent fertilizing may stunt growth and inhibit flowering; more frequent fertilizing may burn the roots and leaves and inhibit flowering. For complete step-by-step instructions on how to feed your orchids, click here.
Be sure to use an orchid food that is formulated for orchids and follow the label instructions. In general, most orchid fertilizers recommend use once a month. Less frequent fertilizing may stunt growth and inhibit flowering, more frequent fertilizing may burn the roots and leaves and inhibit flowering. For complete step-by-step instructions on how to feed your orchids, click here. Q: What do I do when my phalaenopsis stops blooming?
A: If your plant has healthy, with thick, green leaves that have not become wrinkled or drooping, cut the old flower stem up high, just above a "node" and just below the lowest bloom. The plant will frequently send out a new flowering branch at that location. If your plant has thin, wilted leaves, or if the plant is small, with only 3-to-4-inch-long leaves, it is best to cut the flower stem all the way down, so that the plant does not weaken itself by blooming again right away. Carefully water and fertilize your plant to build it back into shape for future flowering on a brand-new stem. This can take up to a year or more, as Phalaenopsis, like most orchids, is a relatively slow-growing plant. Q: I am growing my phalaenopsis orchid in the house but they never bloom. What can I do?
A: The most common reason for any orchid not to bloom is insufficient light. Move your phalaenopsis plants to a window where they will receive strong, but indirect light (near a south-facing window is ideal). You might also try lighting your plants with a fluorescent light fixture placed about 1-2 feet above the foliage. Give up to 12 hours of supplemental light per day. Phalaenopsis will also develop flower spikes in response to a cool period of about four weeks with night temperatures of 55F. After the cool treatment, raise the night temperature back to the normal 60-65F minimum. See if these changes to your growing conditions help to stimulate your plants to bloom. Q: How do I know if my orchid is getting the proper amount of light?
A: One good indicator is leaf color. Generally speaking, the leaves should be bright green rather than dark green. Dark green indicates too little light while reddish green indicated too much light. Those orchids requiring higher light intensities, such as cattleyas, dendrobiums and oncidiums, should be placed in a south or west facing window, but be sure to protect the leaves from the hot mid-day sun with sheer curtains or move the plants back from the window on hot summer days. Miltonias, phalaenopsis and paphiopedilums prefer lower light intensities and should be located further away from the window or placed in a window facing east or north. Q: The orchid in my window suddenly developed black blotches on the leaves. Is it sick
A: It sounds like your plant has a bad case of sunburn! Longer, brighter days can increase the light intensity in your window so that the leaves get too hot and burn. You need to move your plant back from the window or put up sheer curtains to help protect it from direct sunlight. As the light intensity decreases in the fall, move your plant closer to the window again. Frequently check their leaves and watch for any fading of their green color, especially on those parts of the leaf closest to the window. This is an early indication that they are being exposed to too much sun. Q: How do I know if I need to re-pot?
A: A newly potted phalaenopsis should be able to remain in its growth media two years before repotting. When there are many, long roots over the edge of the pot, this plant has most likely been growing for several years since its last repotting. If your plant is not currently in bloom, you should repot now. Be sure to remove all dead roots that are usually dark-colored, soft and mushy. Sometimes they may be dry, with a fiber running through the middle of the root. Center the plant with all of its roots down in the pot and add moistened bark until the level of the bark is just below the bottom of the lower set of leaves. Wait a week before resuming your normal watering and fertilizing routine. Q: My phalaenopsis has been in flower for quite a while and now it seems to be forming what looks like a new plant on the flower stem! Will it grow if I pot it and what type of soil is best?
A: Congratulations! With proper care you will have a new plant, identical in every way to your original phalaenopsis. Wait until the new plant has developed a strong little root system of its own, with two or three roots at least one to two inches long. Then, carefully cut the plantlet, called a keiki, from the flower stem and put it in a very small pot of seedling bark for its first potting. After a year or two, move up to medium-sized bark in a four to five inch pot. Alternatively, you can pot the keiki in special orchid sphagnum moss. Be sure to go light with the fertilizer for the first few months. Once the plant has established itself, as evidenced by increased leaf growth, start with full-strength fertilizing. Q: I would like to try growing orchids under lights in my house. What type of light fixtures and bulbs do you recommend that I try?
A: Many hobbyists have been successful with just ordinary fluorescent lights. You can also buy the more expensive fluorescent plant lights that give off a broader spectrum of light. An inexpensive way to achieve similar results is to use one cool-white fluorescent to one warm-white fluorescent bulb. The cool-white bulb will give off more of the blue wavelengths of the visible spectrum while the warm-white gives the plants more of the red end of the spectrum. Such a broad spectrum of light helps assure better growing and blooming. Some people also add one incandescent bulb to enhance the red end of the spectrum but be sure you don't burn your plants with the heat given off by this type of bulb. Q: My mother gave me an orchid that is called Dendrobium Phalaenopsis. I am confused. Is this a type of phalaenopsis and how do I care for it?
A: There are more than one thousand different species belonging to the genus Dendrobium. One species, Dendrobium phalaenopsis, has been frequently used to make hybrids. These hybrid orchids are noted for their upright, branching sprays of brightly colored flowers that resemble those of the genus Phalaenopsis. They basically prefer the same growing conditions as for phalaenopsis but dendrobiums will perform better in a brighter location in your home. Place them in a bright window, but without direct hot sun (south facing window is ideal). Sheer curtains will protect your plants from the burning rays. The ideal minimum night temperature is between 60-65F. The ideal day temperature is 75-85F. Phalaenopsis type dendrobiums like to have their potting medium dry out a bit between waterings. Q: What causes the new growth on my miltonia (``pansy orchid") to be crinkled?
A: Crinkled leaves are an indicator that the plant received insufficient water while the new leaves were developing. This can be caused by either loss of roots due to keeping the growing media too wet, which has killed most of the roots, or by simply not enough water to an otherwise healthy root system. Miltonias prefer to have their roots constantly damp, but never soggy. Older growing media will tend to hold water for longer periods of time so be careful not to overwater. Miltonias also prefer lots of humidity, with 50-75% being the ideal amount. Light, morning misting of the foliage is helpful in hot, dry conditions but be sure to keep standing water out of the leaves or soft rot may develop, especially if there is poor air circulation around your plants. Q: What is the difference between a terrestrial and an epiphytic orchid?
A: Terrestrial orchids live on the ground, usually in a water-retentive humus of rotting wood and leaves. These orchids need a constantly moist, but never soggy, medium in which to grow. Paphiopedilums and cymbidiums are examples. Epiphytic orchids live on the branches of other plants -- usually trees. They are not parasites -- they obtain no food from the trees on which they grow. Epiphytic orchids have "air-roots" which are accustomed to drying out in between periods of rain. These orchids need an open medium in which to grow and the roots should be allowed to become moderately dry between waterings. Cattleyas, vandas, phalaenopsis, and dendrobiums are common examples. Q: What's the difference between a hybrid seedling and a meristem seedling?
A: A hybrid seedling is an orchid plant that has been produced by seed through the hybridization process. Two parent plants were used to produce the seed and the individual seedlings all have their own unique characteristics, like brothers and sisters in a family. A meristem seedling is a seedling that has been produced using the cloning process. Each "mericlone" plant has an identical genetic make-up and each meristem or mericlone plant will look exactly the same, like identical twins. Q: I have just purchased a mottled-leaved paphiopedilum. Do I care for this plant the same as the plain, green-leaved paphs?
A: Like their solid green-leaved relatives, the mottled-leaved paphiopedilums prefer less light than many orchids and are well suited for growing in your home. Place them near a bright window but out of the direct sunlight. Both types of paphs should be kept continuously moist but not soggy. The solid green-leaved types are cool growers that prefer night temperatures of 50-55F and day temperatures of 75-80F. The mottled-leaved types are warm growers that prefer night temperatures above 60F and day temperatures of up to 85F. Q: What are the most common orchid pests?
A: Snails and slugs often hide in the potting media where they chew on young root tips; they also come out at night to chew on the leaves and stems. There are several insect pests that are common: Aphids (small sucking insects) and thrips (small chewing insects) attack tender new growth, flowers and buds. Scale insects form a brown or black crust on leaves and stems. Mealybugs also attack the leaves and stems forming a white cottony mass. Consult a local garden center for products to control these pests. ********************************** A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." ********************************** Running into the house after school Tommy said to his mother, “Mom! Isn’t an ox a kind of a bull?†“Yesâ€, she replied. “And doesn’t equine have something to do with horses?†“That’s right.†She said. Running out of the house Tommy said “I’ll see you later!†“Why? Where are you going?†asked his mother. “To some other town I just heard in school that the equinox is coming, and I don’t wanna be around when it gets here!†********************************** Sheikh's son goes to Germany to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train." Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying: "Stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too." ********************************** Employer: "We need someone responsible for this job." "Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible." ******************************** Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed? Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog? Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog. 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar. 4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. 5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. 8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table 9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. 11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. 12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Quotes, tidbits
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