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REMINDERS FROM GOD
You Can't Take Me, I'm Dead.
"Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."1
I have read how Dwight L. Moody told about a young man who was called to serve in Napoleon Bonaparte's army but didn't want to go. A friend volunteered to go in his place and was accepted as his substitution. Unfortunately, the friend was later killed in battle.
However, because of a clerical error the same young man was called up to serve again. "You can't take me. I'm dead. I died on the battlefield," he told the astonished officers.
After checking the records, the officers found documentation of his name and alongside it the name of the friend who died in his place. The case was presented to Napoleon who, after examining the evidence, said, "Through a surrogate, this man has not only fought, but has died in his country's service. No man can die more than once; therefore the law has no claim on him."
And that's exactly what Jesus Christ, the Son of God, did for you and me. He died in our place to pay the just penalty for all our sins so we could be freely forgiven and given the gift of eternal life. When we accept God's pardon, we will never have to pay the price for our sins because Jesus did that for us. He was our surrogate.
The critical question is have you accepted God's pardon? If not, for help be sure to read the article, "How to Be Sure You're a Christian." Click on the Know God link below or go to: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.
Suggested prayer: "Dear Jesus God, thank you again for being my surrogate and dying on the cross in my place so that I will never have to pay the ultimate penalty for my sin—eternal death and separation from you. Because you died for me please help me to always live for you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Romans 5:7-8 (NIV).
******************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
willowwacks WIL-oh-waks , noun; 1. A wooded, uninhabited area. Definition of willowwacks|See synonyms|Comment on today's word|Suggest tomorrow's word
Quotes: There aren't many airports in Eastern Canada; you look at one like Upper Blackville, out there in the spruce-and-fir willowwacks, and wonder what it's doing there. -- The AOPA pilot: Voice of General Aviation, Volume 37 Sure there were difficult moments, like an awkward fall below Texas Pass that twisted my previously broken ankle the wrong way, or 30 minutes lost on a wrong turn due to trail that disappeared in a stream, or a willowwacks that just wouldn't end; but overall today was a great day. -- Mike DiLorenzo, "Yellowstone, 2005." D-Low.com
Origin: Willowwacks is of uncertain origin. ************************************ PET TIP:
DO CATS GET BORED? Do you ever ask yourself what your cat does around the house while you are gone?
We know that dogs can get bored quite easily, but what about cats? They are solitary and independent by nature (as any cat parent knows)... but can cats get bored?
The answer is YES. In fact, boredom is a common problem for indoor cats. Here's why:
• Cats need activity when they are awake . While it's true that your cat sleeps most of the day, when your cat is awake he needs a way to work off all that pent-up energy. Many professionals compare a cat's daily life to a lion's - they both sleep most of the day, but when they are up, they are active and energetic. • Cats are predators. Cats have an instinctive need to hunt. When your cat plays he is practicing his hunting. And, without anything to hunt, your cat can become quite bored. • Cats enjoy attention. Though they may not show it, studies have proven that cats actually love attention from their owners. Boredom is understandable if your cat spends a lot of time home alone or if you are not able to give him the attention he wants.
To help fight boredom, set aside at least 10 minutes every day to play with your cat. Give your cat new toys on a regular basis and rotate old toys (take them away for awhile and they will become "new" again when you bring them back out). These are easy ways to help keep your cat entertained.
Best Cat Toys Cat toys, there are tons and tons of cat toys on the market. But do you know your cat's toy preference? Is your cat a birder, a mouser, or a bugger? Does your cat prefer toys that mimic birds, mice or catching bugs? There are many types of cat toys made for cats and each cat has his or her own preferences as to what stimulates them to interact.
Favored cat toys mimic predatory acts that cats would perform if they were to hunt for their food. Although your cat may not need to "hunt", they still enjoy the actions and movements involved with the process of hunting from which they create a form of play. Cats love to chase, pounce, capture, carry, bite and roll around with good cat toys.
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Ribs with Plum Sauce
Serve as an appetizer or main course. These ribs are sure to please.
Serves: 6 Prep. time: 3 minutes Cooking time: 90 minutes
5 pounds pork spareribs 3/4 cup soy sauce 3/4 cup red plum jam or apricot preserves 3/4 cup honey 2 garlic cloves, minced Cut ribs into serving-size pieces; place with bone side down on a rack in a shallow roasting pan. Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until ribs are tender; drain. Combine remaining ingredients; brush some of the sauce over ribs. Bake at 350 degrees or grill over medium coals, uncovered, for 30 minutes, brushing occasionally with sauc
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OVEN FISH 'N' CHIPS
Fish 'N' Chips are always a hit!
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 15 minutes Cooking time: 45 2 tablespoons Olive or vegetable oil 1/4 teaspoon Pepper 4 baking potatoes, medium (1 pound), peeled 1/3 cup all-purpose flour 1/4 teaspoon Pepper egg substitute, equivalent to 1 egg 2 tablespoons water 2/3 cup corn flakes, crushed 1 tablespoon Grated Parmesan cheese 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1 pound haddock fillets, frozen, thawed tartar sauce, optional
In a medium bowl, combine oil and pepper. Cut potatoes lengthwise into 1/2-in. strips. Add to oil mixture; toss to coat. Place on a 15-in. x 10-in. x 1-in. baking pan that has been coated with nonstick cooking spray. Bake, uncovered, at 425 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown and crisp. Meanwhile, combine flour and pepper in a shallow dish. In a second dish, beat egg substitute and water. In a third dish, combine cornflakes, cheese and cayenne. Dredge fish in flour, then dip in egg mixture and coat with crumb mixture. Place on a baking sheet that has been coated with nonstick cooking spray. Bake at 425 degrees for 10-15 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork. Serve with chips and tartar sauce if desired.
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Boston Cream Pie Minis
total time 1 hr 43 min prep 20 min servings 24 servings
what you need 1 pkg. (2-layer size) yellow cake mix 1 pkg. (3.4 oz.) JELL-O Vanilla Flavor Instant Pudding 1 cup cold milk 1-1/2 cups thawed COOL WHIP Whipped Topping, divided 4 squares BAKER'S Semi-Sweet Chocolate
HEAT oven to 350ºF. PREPARE cake batter and bake as directed on package for 24 cupcakes. Cool completely. BEAT pudding mix and milk with whisk 2 min. Let stand 5 min. Meanwhile, use serrated knife to cut cupcakes horizontally in half. Whisk 1/2 cup COOL WHIP into pudding; spoon onto bottom halves of cupcakes, using about 1 Tbsp. for each. Cover with cupcake tops. MICROWAVE remaining COOL WHIP and chocolate in small microwaveable bowl on HIGH 1-1/2 min. or until chocolate is almost melted, stirring after 1 min. Stir until well blended. Let stand 15 min.; spread onto cupcakes. Refrigerate 15 min.
kraft kitchens tips SPECIAL EXTRA Serve frosted cupcakes in colorful paper muffin cups. ******************************* Picnic Macaroni Salad
total time 20 min prep 20 min servings 8 servings Print
what you need 1 pkg. (7-1/4 oz.) KRAFT Macaroni & Cheese Dinner 1/2 cup KRAFT Real Mayo Mayonnaise 1/3 cup CLAUSSEN Sweet Pickle Relish 1/4 cup chopped onions 8 slices OSCAR MAYER Bacon, cooked, crumbled 1 tomato, chopped
make it
PREPARE Dinner in large saucepan as directed on package.
STIR in remaining ingredients.
kraft kitchens tips SIZE-WISE You'll know it's a special occasion when you get to enjoy a serving of this macaroni salad. SPECIAL EXTRA Top with crunchy croutons just before serving. Serve on a bed of shredded lettuce.SHORTCUTSave time by using chopped OSCAR MAYER Fully Cooked Bacon
******************************* Sweet and Sour Chicken Active Time: 15 Minutes Total Time: 15 Minutes Yield: Makes 4 servings
We used cracker crumbs instead of the customary batter to coat the chicken pieces for this perennial favorite. This not only decreases the preparation time, it reduces the fat content of the finished dish as well.
INGREDIENTS 15 1/4 ounce can pineapple chunks (juice pack) 1/4 cup catsup 1 tablespoon cornstarch 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar 2 tablespoons water 4 teaspoons sugar 1 beaten egg 1 tablespoon cornstarch 12 ounces boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, cut into 1-inch cubes 3/4 cup finely crushed saltine crackers 1 tablespoon cooking oil 1 green sweet pepper, cut into 1/2 inch pieces 1 red sweet pepper, cut into 1/2-inch pieces 4 green onions, bias-sliced into 1 1/2-inch pieces Hot cooked rice (optional) DIRECTIONS Drain pineapple, reserving 3/4 cup juice. In a small bowl stir together the reserved pineapple juice, the catsup, 1 tablespoon cornstarch, vinegar, water, and sugar. Set aside.
In a medium mixing bowl stir together egg and 1 tablespoon cornstarch till smooth. Add chicken pieces and stir to coat chicken with egg mixture. Pour cracker crumbs into a shallow dish. Roll chicken pieces in cracker crumbs to coat evenly.
Pour cooking oil into a wok or large skillet. (Add more oil as necessary during cooking.) Preheat over medium-high heat. Add half of the chicken to the wok. Stir-fry about 3 minutes, or till no pink remains. Remove chicken from wok and keep warm in a preheated 300 degrees oven. Repeat with remaining chicken
Add sweet peppers and green onions to wok; stir-fry for 2-3 minutes, or till crisp-tender. Remove vegetables from wok.
Stir pineapple juice mixture; add to the center of the wok. Cook and stir till thickened and bubbly. Cook and stir for 2 minutes more. Return chicken, vegetables, and pineapple chunks to wok. Stir all ingredients together to coat with sauce. Cook and stir about 1 minute more, or till heated through. If desired, serve with rice.
******************************* Ginger Scones Active Time: 15 Minutes Total Time: 2 Hours 45 Minutes Yield: Makes eight 3-inch or sixteen 2-inch scones
Host an afternoon tea with a tray of these fruit-filled scones. Add a taste of sweet strawberries and thick crème fraîche for a decidedly civilized treat. Scones are made in a very similar fashion to biscuits although there is no shortening in the dough.
INGREDIENTS For the creme fraiche: 1/4 cup whipping cream (not ultrapasteurized) 1/4 cup dairy sour cream
For the Scones: 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon baking powder 1 tablespoon sugar 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons finely chopped crystallized ginger or candied lemon peel or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 1/2 cup dried currants or chopped golden raisins 1 1/4 cups whipping cream milk or whipping cream 1/3 cup strawberry preserves DIRECTIONS FOR THE CREME FRAICHE: In a small mixing bowl stir together whipping cream and sour cream. Cover with plastic wrap. Let stand at room temperature for 2 to 5 hours, or till mixture thickens. When thickened, cover and chill in the refrigerator till cold or for up to 1 week. Stir before serving.
FOR THE SCONES: In a large mixing bowl stir together flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, and crystallized ginger, candied lemon peel, or ground ginger. Stir in currants or raisins. Make a well in the center of the dry mixture; add whipping cream all at once. Using a fork, stir just till moistened.
Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Quickly knead dough by gently folding and pressing dough for 10 to 12 strokes, or till nearly smooth. Pat or lightly roll dough to a 1/2-inch thickness. Cut dough with a floured 2- to 3-inch round cookie cutter, dipping cutter into flour between cuts. Place scones 1 inch apart on a large ungreased baking sheet. Brush tops with milk or additional cream.
Bake in a preheated 425 degree oven for 12 to 15 minutes, or till golden brown. Remove scones from baking sheet. Cool on a wire rack for 15 minutes.
TO SERVE: Split scones and spread with strawberry preserves. Top with crème fraîche.
******************************* Chicken Mozzarella
"I like to make this Italian chicken for friends and family. It's delicious served with spaghetti, a tossed salad and garlic bread. Why not try it tonight?"
Prep Time: 5 Min Cook Time:35 Min Ready In:40 Min Original Recipe Yield 6 servings
Ingredients
1/2 cup buttermilk baking mix 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese 1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning 1/2 teaspoon paprika 1/4 teaspoon pepper 6 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves 1 cup spaghetti sauce 3/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
Directions
Combine baking mix, Parmesan cheese, Italian seasoning, paprika and pepper; coat chicken. Place in a greased shallow baking dish. Bake, uncovered, at 400 degrees F for 10 minutes. Turn chicken and bake an additional 10 minutes. Turn chicken and bake an additional 10 minutes. Pour sauce over chicken. Reduce heat to 350 degrees F; bake for 15-20 minutes or until juices run clear. Sprinkle with mozzarella cheese during the last few minutes of baking.
******************************* Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz.. Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet. Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" "My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady. "Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?" The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart". I think I'll be saying this a lot in days to come..................... LMAO! ******************************* The Importance of Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there. Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.' If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. AND
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine. You could run this over to your friends But just e-mail it to them
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THREE LITTLE BOYS were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with themThey decided it was because they had not been baptized anddidn't go to Sunday school So they went to the nearest church. But, only the janitor was there.One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no onewill come out and play with us..Will you baptize us?"Sure," said the janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little headsin the toilet bowl, one at a time.Then he said, "You are now baptized!"When they got outside, one of them asked,"'What religion do you think we are?"The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick,because they pour the water on you." "We're not Babtis,because they dunk all of you in the water.""We're not Methdiss,because they just sprinkle water on you." The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?"They all joined in asking, 'Yeah! What do you think that means?' "I think it means we're Pisskopailians!" ******************************* I stopped by the Chevy Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new 2011 Silverado, 1500 pickup truck. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to experience that new "feel" before they become extinct...
The salesman (a black man wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options.. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats were designed to direct warm air to your butt in the winter and cool air to your butt in the summer heat. Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.
Looking a bit confused, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck. I explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.
I had to walk back to the dealership... Damn guy had no sense of humor!
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Scooter 55+
With this in mind, I bought myself a new scooter. I wanted something that was easy on gas and could zip me to the store
And about town..This seems to meet my EVERY need.
I love it!
Remember:Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the younger generations. We have silver in our hair. We have gold in our teeth. We have stones in our kidneys. We have lead in our feet and, We are loaded with natural gas!
Everyone needs AT LEAST one good laugh a day !!!
******************************* The Cow from India
This is brilliant ! I am sure many of you can relate to this!!
The only cow in a small town in Australia stopped giving milk.
The townsfolk found they could buy a cow in India quite cheaply.
They brought the cow from India and it was wonderful, produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.
They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow,the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to go the Vet, who was very wise to tell him what was happening and ask his advice.
"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward, they said When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side."
The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking,
"Did you by chance, buy this cow in India?"
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had bought the cow over from India.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow in India ?
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye,
"My wife is from India.........."
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Trevor was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young pullets and about ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Trevor could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmer's favourite rooster was old Dalton , and a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning Trevor noticed old Dalton 's bell hadn't rung at all!
Trevor went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to farmer Trevor's amazement, Dalton had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Trevor was so proud of Dalton that he entered him in the Walkerton Fall Fair and Dalton became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result?
The judges not only awarded Dalton the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly Dalton was a pullitician in the making: Who else but a pullitician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention. Do you know any Pulliticians named Dalton ? ******************************* Brutus, a military K9 at McChord. . He's huge - part Boxer and part British Bull Mastiff and tops the scales at 200 lbs. His handler took the picture. Brutus is running toward me because he knows I have some Milk Bone treats, so he's slobbering away! I had to duck around a tree just before he got to me in case he couldn't stop, but he did. Brutus won the Congressional Medal of Honor last year from his tour in Iraq . His handler and four other soldiers were taken hostage by insurgents. Brutus and his handler communicate by sign language and he gave Brutus the signal that meant 'go away but come back and find me'. The Iraqis paid no attention to Brutus. He came back later and quietly tore the throat out of one guard at one door and another guard at another door. He then jumped against one of the doors repeatedly (the guys were being held in an old warehouse) until it opened. He went in and untied his handler and they all escaped. He's the first K9 to receive this honor. If he knows you're ok, he's a big old lug and wants to sit in your lap. Enjoys the company of cats.. K-9 Congressional Medal of Honor Winner Thought you'd find this interesting. Talk about animal intelligence and bonding with humans!
Remember that they can't do a lot of things for themselves and that they depend on you to make their life a quality life! A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS: 1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful. 2. Give me time to understand what you want of me. 3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being. 4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you. 5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me. 6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it. 7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you. 8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak. 9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old. 10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so. Take a moment today to thank GOD for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them. Life would be a much duller, less joyful experience without God's critters.
~Now please pass this on to other pet owners. We do not have to wait for Heaven, to be surrounded by hope, love, and joyfulness. It is here on earth and has four legs!
Instructions for properly hugging a baby (from a dog's point of view):
1. First, uh, find a baby. 2. Second, be sure that the object you found was indeed a baby, by employing classic sniffing techniques. 3. Next, you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process. 4. The 'paw slide' = Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.
5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented 'hug, smile, and lean' so as to achieve the best photo quality.
It will be a shame if you don't pass this along!!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Matthew 23:15
(15) "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves.
Proselytes were common in those days. Acts 2:10 records their presence, with the Jews, in Jerusalem on Pentecost. Nicolas, "a proselyte from Antioch," is numbered in Acts 6:5 as an original deacon. Finally, Acts 13:43, mentions "devout proselytes" who followed Paul in Antioch. In context, these clearly refer to Gentile proselytes to Judaism. Indeed, Paul's problems with the circumcision party had its roots in the widespread Jewish practice of proselytism in those days. The members of this party—almost certainly (misguided) members of God's church—followed Paul from city to city, telling Gentile converts of their need for physical circumcision. They took their cues from Exodus 12:48 and other scriptures. These Jews were men of their age, and therefore took no exception to the practice of proselytism. Also, they apparently accepted the validity of Paul's commission to carry Christ's "name before Gentiles" (Acts 9:15). Their only issue was physical circumcision. As a result of this controversy, the apostles had to redefine circumcision in its proper New Covenant terms. In the New Testament, God clearly commissioned some to preach the gospel of God's Kingdom actively. Paul received such a commission, as Acts 9:15 clearly relates. Christ also commissioned His other apostles to "go therefore and make disciples of all the nations . . ." (Matthew 28:19). These commissions have their parallel in the commissions received by the Old Testament prophets. Examples include the prophets Isaiah (Isaiah 6), Jeremiah (Jeremiah 1) and Jonah (Jonah 1). It is important to recognize, though, that neither the Old Testament commissions to the prophets nor the New Testament commissions to the apostles remove the responsibility on the part of the people to be examples. God has always used this means—the example of His people—as a fundamental method of reaching others. As one excellent New Testament example, notice I Thessalonians 1:7-9, where Paul lauds the converts in Thessalonica, pointing out the breadth of their example to other church congregations and to the world at large: . . . so that you became examples to all in Macedonia and Achaia who believe. For from you the word of the Lord has sounded forth, not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but also in every place. Your faith toward God has gone out, so that we do not need to say anything. For they themselves declare concerning us what manner of entry we had to you, and how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God. . . . So strong was their witness that Paul needed not "to say anything." These people certainly did not hide their light under a basket. Example can speak louder than preaching.
Psalm 46:1 “[Psalm 46] For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth. A song. God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.â€
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WORD FOR THE DAY:
diluvial • duh-LOO-vee-ul • adjective : of, relating to, or brought about by a flood
Examples: Archeologists studying diluvial deposits found along the river delta could make estimates from that evidence on just how far certain Paleolithic species had migrated.
"When regions were drained after long-standing inundations they had accumulated rich diluvial and alluvial soil valuable for growing a wide variety of crops and also for pasturage for sheep, cattle, goats and horses." -- From Joseph Roisman and Ian Worthington's 2010 book A Companion to Ancient Macedonia
*********************** CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: I will not be concerned at other men's not knowing me;I will be concerned at my own want of ability.
THINGS TO PONDER: If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
"Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you." - Arnold Palmer
You might be a REDNECK if... ...your car is on cement blocks in the backyard.
*********************** DOG TIPS:
Why do dogs lick their paws?
Dog paw licking and dog paw chewing is a common condition with a wide variety of causes. If left untreated, it can lead to painful and often serious consequences. This site is an attempt to help solve this itchy puzzle and provide a plan of action for dog owners. We know that many of you wouldn’t be reading this if you hadn’t already seen your vet, tried everything you can think of, and still can’t seem to find a solution. Every dog is different, but paw licking usually falls into a few distinct categories so here's a list of ways to figure out why your dog licks his paws and what you can do to help your dog.
Dog paw licking usually boils down to asking two questions:
1 Does my dog have itchy paws? 2. Does my dog lick his paws out of boredom, anxiety, or instinct?
Paw licking can be caused by environmental factors like allergies, mites, fleas, fungus, etc. Or, the psychological tendency of dogs (especially certain breeds) to lick their paws, sometimes to the point of self-injury. If your dog licks only one paw with no visible injury, or just the front paws, it's probably psychological. If she licks all four paws, it's probably allergies, physiological issues or environmental factors. Thousands of owners and vets have reached the limits of their resources and yet some dogs continue to lick and chew to the point of bleeding sores, hair loss, infections, granulomas, and permanent scarring. In these cases, treatment comes down to an attempt to alleviate symptoms and control the behavior as much as possible. Paw licking is triggered by stress from both external and internal factors. Allergies, parasites, environmental causes, psychological events or a combination of multiple reasons can cause a dog to begin licking his paws. Complications from infections, or other contributors, such as hypo-thyroidism or changes in brain chemistry, can cause more licking and chewing, which further damages the skin, spreads infection, and begins a downward spiral. Usually, the more intelligent dogs are also the worst lickers. Their intelligence often causes them to react to stress in ways very similar to humans. Genetically selected for thousands of years to be our companions and helpers, these dogs were bred to understand commands and perform duties such as herding, hunting, fishing, defending the home or going to war. In short, they were genetically designed to have jobs. Without jobs, they feel useless and bored. Without something to do, they will think something up. Compulsive or chronic dog paw licking usually follows this cycle:
1) A trigger starts the cycle.
2) The dog licks his paws as a reaction to the stress trigger.
3) The owner, either on his or her own or in consultation with a veterinarian, treats the symptoms with a wide variety of drugs including steroids, antibiotics, pain killers, anti-depressants; chewing prevention devices like Elizabethan collars, also known as lampshades or plastic cones; boots, bandages, even muzzles or face cages. 4) These attempts may not work, causing frustration for the owner.
5) The dog may sense the owner's frustration and misinterpret it for disappointment or disapproval.
6) Additionally, the dog doesn't understand why the owner would put a plastic cone on her head, or a muzzle, or become angry when the dog wakes up the exhausted, frustrated owner in the middle of the night with constant, loud, licking and chewing. The dog may think she is being punished but doesn't know why. Confused and frustrated, she may increase her licking.
7) Excessive licking and chewing can further damage the skin, often leading to a secondary infection, and the cycle continues. In severe cases, chronic paw chewing can lead to a granuloma, a ball-like collection of dead cells and tissue that can form inside a serious, infected wound.
8) The dog can become chemically addicted to the act of licking. This theory comes from the possibility that licking raises endorphin levels. The dog becomes addicted to these opiate-like chemicals produced by the brain in times of physical or emotional stress.
9) The problem becomes even more frustrating and expensive for the owner, more difficult to treat, and more itchy, painful, and confusing to the dog.
Fortunately, few dogs reach the most serious stages of compulsive licking. Usually, it's a minor problem and one or another treatment relieves the symptoms. The key is to find the cause and remove it. In cases of fleas, mites, and some allergies, this can easily be accomplished with a visit to the vet. If the cause cannot be identified, symptom treatment is the next best thing. This is often the case with allergies.
*********************** A charitable lady was reading the Old Testament to an aged woman who lived at the home for old people, and chanced upon the passage concerning Solomon's household.
"Had Solomon really seven hundred wives?" inquired the old woman, after reflection.
"Oh, yes, Mary! It is so stated in the Bible."
"Lor', mum!" was the comment. "What privileges them early Christians had!"
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JACKET POTATO WITH BACON, MUSHROOM, AND PEPPERCORN
Servings: 4 Difficulty: Easy
Ingredients 12 ounce bacon, chopped 4 medium-sized russet or other baking potatoes, well scrubbed 8 ounce sliced button mushrooms 1 tablespoon green peppercorns, drenched in cold water 1/4 cup brandy 1 cup cream salt and pepper butter, for topping
Directions
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Prick potatoes with a fork and bake until soft, about 1 hour. Saute bacon, add button mushrooms and cook until golden brown. Pour brandy first into a measuring cup (for safety) and then into the pan and carefully ignite with a long match. After the alcohol burns off and the flame has died, stir in the peppercorns. Stir in the cream and heat through, without boiling. Salt and pepper to taste. Cut open baked potatoes. Top each with a spoonful of butter, then cover generously with sauce.
*********************** Shortbread Lemon Bars Yield: 3 Dozen
INGREDIENTS
For the Bars: 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel 1 teaspoon grated orange peel 3/4 cup cold butter or margarine
For the Filling: 4 eggs 2 cups sugar 1/3 cup lemon juice 1/4 cup all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons grated lemon peel 2 teaspoons grated orange peel 1 teaspoon baking powder For the Topping: 2 cups (16 ounces) sour cream 1/3 cup sugar 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract DIRECTIONS In a food processor, combine flour, confectioners' sugar, and lemon and orange peel. Cut in butter until crumbly; process until mixture forms a ball. Pat into a greased 13-by-9-by-2-inch baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 12-14 minutes or until set and the edges are lightly browned. Meanwhile, in a mixing bowl, combine the filling ingredients; mix well. Pour over hot crust. Bake for 14-16 minutes or until set and lightly browned. Meanwhile, in a bowl, combine topping ingredients. Spread over filling. Bake 7-9 minutes longer or until topping is set. Cool on a wire rack. Refrigerate overnight. Cut into bars just before serving.
*********************** Lemon Snow Drops
Active Time: 15 Minutes Total Time: 45 Minutes Yield: Yields about 3 dozen cookies.
These stay fresh for up to a week; reroll them in confectioners’ sugar before serving.
INGREDIENTS 8 oz. unsalted butter, at room temperature 2/3 cup confectioners' sugar 2 1/2 teaspoons grated lemon zest 2 teaspoons lemon juice Pinch salt 2 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
For Rolling: 1 cup confectioners' sugar DIRECTIONS Heat the oven to 325 degrees F. Beat the butter and sugar together with a wooden spoon or a mixer until creamy. Add the lemon zest, lemon juice, and salt; mix until combined. Add the flour; mix until just blended. Shape the dough into 1-inch balls and set them 1 inch apart on ungreased or parchment-lined baking sheets(or freeze them on a baking sheet, as shown above). Bake until the cookies are light golden and give slightly when pressed, 18 to 20 min. Let the cookies cool slightly on the baking sheet; while still warm, roll them in confectioners' sugar. Transfer to a rack to cool completely.
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Grilled Chicken Kabobs Active Time: 35 Minutes Total Time: 12 Hours 45 Minutes Yield: Serves 4
The yogurt in this classic marinade tenderizes the chicken, yielding succulent results. If you like, grill vegetables on separate skewers so their cooking can be easily monitored. Serve the kabobs with pita bread or pilaf and spoon some yogurt-cucumber sauce over the grilled vegetables.
INGREDIENTS 1 large yellow onion, chopped 4 cloves garlic, minced 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice 1 tablespoon paprika 1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, plus pepper to taste 1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme 1 cup plain yogurt 1 1/2 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs Olive oil for brushing Salt Other necessary recipes: Yogurt-Cucumber Sauce
DIRECTIONS In a food processor fitted with the metal blade or in a blender, combine the onion, garlic, lemon juice, paprika, cayenne, the 1/2 teaspoon black pepper and the thyme. Use rapid on-off pulses to combine well. Add the yogurt and pulse to mix. Rinse the chicken and pat dry. Cut into 1-inch cubes and place in a nonaluminum container. Pour the yogurt mixture over the chicken and turn to coat. Cover and let marinate in the refrigerator for 8 hours. Prepare a fire in a charcoal grill or preheat a broiler. Remove the chicken pieces from the marinade, reserving the marinade, and thread them onto metal skewers. Brush the chicken with olive oil and then sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place the skewers on an oiled grill rack or a broiler pan and grill or broil, turning and basting once with the reserved marinade, until no longer pink in the center when cut into with a knife, 4-5 minutes per side for breast meat and 5-6 minutes per side for thigh meat. Transfer the skewers to warmed individual plates or a platter. Serve hot.
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Yogurt-Cucumber Sauce
Active Time: 10 Minutes Total Time: 4 Hours 10 Minutes Yield: Makes about 2 1/2 cups.
Made from thick, rich sheep’s milk yogurt, this tangy sauce is part of the meze table in every Greek taverna. It can also be found in Turkey, where it is called cacìk. For a similar consistency with cow’s milk yogurt, you must first drain it of excess water. The sauce is delicious served with fried eggplant and zucchini, lamb chops or meatballs, or as a dip for pita bread.
INGREDIENTS 4 cups (32 oz) plain yogurt 1 English hothouse cucumber, seeded and coarsely grated salt 3 large cloves garlic, finely minced 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar or fresh lemon juice, or to taste 3 tablespoons olive oil 1/4 cup chopped fresh mint or equal amounts chopped fresh mint and flat-leaf (Italian) parsley Freshly ground pepper DIRECTIONS Line a large sieve with cheesecloth, place it over a bowl and spoon the yogurt into the sieve. Refrigerate for 4-6 hours to drain the excess water from the yogurt. You should have 1 1/2 to 2 cups drained yogurt. Refrigerate until needed. Place the grated cucumber in a sieve or colander, salt it lightly and toss to mix. Let stand for 30 minutes to draw out the excess moisture. In a bowl, combine the drained yogurt, garlic, vinegar or lemon juice and olive oil and stir to mix well. Using a kitchen towel, squeeze the drained cucumber dry. Fold the cucumber into the yogurt mixture and then stir in the mint or mint and parsley. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve immediately, or cover and refrigerate overnight. Bring to room temperature before serving.
Serving size = 2 tablespoons
***********************
Fresh Mushroom Three Bean Salad
Yield: 4 servings
INGREDIENTS 10 ounces fresh white mushrooms, quartered (about 3 cups) 1 jar (about 7 ounces) roasted red peppers, drained, cut in strips (about 3/4 cup) 1 can (about 15 ounces) 50% less sodium cannellini (white kidney) beans, rinsed and drained 1 can (about 15 ounces) 50% less sodium red kidney beans, rinsed and drained 1 can (about 15 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained 2 ribs celery, sliced (1 cup) 1/2 cup coarsely shredded Parmesan cheese, divided 3/4 cup homemade or prepared Italian salad dressing, no salt added 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley DIRECTIONS In a large bowl combine mushrooms, peppers, the three kinds of beans, celery and 1/4 cup of the cheese. Add dressing and parsley; toss to coat well. Stir in parsley. Serve topped with remaining cheese.
Variations: To make this a main dish, add cooked chicken, sliced pepperoni, kielbasa or ham.
*********************** The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Do Not Use Computers...Courtesy of www.TopFive.com
20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95. 19. Fetch command not available on all platforms. 18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side. 17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit. 16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail." 15. Fire hydrant icon is very frustrating. 14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www . pethouse.com instead of working. 13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee. 12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver. 11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging. 10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb. 9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome. 8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand... 7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software. 6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test. 5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question! 4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver. 3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg. 2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Do Not Use Computers...
1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.*
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Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window! -- Steve Bluestone
My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!" The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo? Why did you say, "Moo'?" The other dog says, "I'm trying to learn a foreign language." - Morey Amsterdam
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. --Lewis Grizzard
There are three faithful friends--an old wife, an old dog and ready money. --Ben Franklin.
The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets!" --Dave Starr
They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered? --Larry Reeb
I went to an exclusive kennel club. It was very exclusive. There was a sign out front: "No Dogs Allowed." --Phil Foster
He that lieth down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas. --Ben Franklin
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. --Mark Twain
I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. --Jimi Celeste
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. --Martha Scott
Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. --Josh Billings
When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later. --Erma Bombeck
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls ... --Phillis Diller
I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog. --Wendy Liebman
My advice to any diplomat who wants to have good press is to have two or three kids and a dog. --Carl Rowan
Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks. --Phillis Diller
They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat! --David Letterman
I bought my grandmother a Seeing Eye dog. But he's a little sadistic. He does impressions of cars screeching to a halt. --Larry Amoros
I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes. --Monica Piper
It was a small town: Ferguson, Ohio. When you entered there was a big sign and it said, "Welcome to Ferguson. Beware of the Dog." The all-night drugstore closed at noon. --Jackie Vernon
*********************** GOT ANY GRAPES?
One day a parrot walked up to the counter inside a convenience store. The parrot said to the clerk "Got any grapes?" "No" replied the store clerk. The parrot smiled and walked out the door. A little while later the parrot returned and asked "Got any grapes?" The clerk replied "No! I already told you 15 minutes ago, i don't have any grapes!"
The parrot smiled and once again walked out of the store. Ten minutes later, the parrot returned and asked once again "Got any grapes?" The irate clerk yelled "No! We didn't have any, we don't have any and we're not going to have any! If you come back in here again, i'm going to nail your feet to the floor!" The parrot smiled and walked out the door. Later that day the parrot returned and asked "Got any nails?" The clerk said "NO!". The parrot replied "Good. Got any grapes?"
*********************** GUARD PARROT
A postal carrier is working on a new beat. He comes to a garden gate marked BEWARE OF THE PARROT! He looks down the garden and, sure enough, there's a parrot sitting on its perch. He has a little chuckle to himself at the sign and the parrot there on its perch. The mailman opens the gate and walks into the garden. He gets as far as the parrot's perch, when suddenly, it calls out: "REX, ATTACK!"
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Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots.
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Chirpes: A canarial disease...no tweetment.
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MAMA'S GIFTS
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."
The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her thank you notes.
"She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."
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Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Life's Little Frustrations
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand."1
Paul Dickson discovered that the size of the cut he inflicted on himself while shaving was directly proportionate to the importance of the event for which he was shaving. That led him to an interest in other "universal laws" evident in daily life. The following are a few of the many he has collected:
"No books you lend are lost except those you particularly want to keep." "There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself; hire someone; or tell your kids not to do it." "You can throw a burnt match out of the window of your car and start a forest fire easier than you can start one under dry logs in your fireplace with a box of matches and the complete edition of the Sunday newspaper."
Let's face it, more often than not, it's life's little annoyances that get to us and hit our "frustration" button. As one humorist put it:
It's the little things that bother us and put us on the rack, you can sit upon a mountain, but you can't sit on a tack!
And most of us have at least one "frustration" button—by whatever name you call it—which is an area of weakness that God wants us to overcome. As long as I have a "frustration button" that is still active, it's a reminder that I still have some growing to do so I can get to the place where I quit being frustrated and trust God for everything!
Hmmm …I'm still working on mine … but God hasn't finished with me yet. Fortunately.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that I can bring all my 'frustrations' to you. When I do this, please help me to see if there is anything I can do to resolve the problem that is causing my frustration, and then do what I need to do to the best of my ability, and trust the outcome to you so that I will experience peace of mind. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Philippians 4:6, 7 (TLB)(NLT).
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.â€
******************************* WORD FOR THE DAY:
fillip • FIL-up • verb 1 a : to strike by holding the nail of a finger against the ball of the thumb and then suddenly releasing it from that position b : to make a filliping motion with 2 : to project quickly by or as if by a fillip : snap 3 : to urge on : stimulate
Examples: Inexplicably, Carl walked up to his baby sister and filliped her on the nose.
"'Moonlight Mile' is everything that Lehane readers have come to expect: a tight story filliped with unexpected turns, delivered in prose that goes down easily." -- From a book review by Robin Vidimos in The Denver Post, October 31, 2010
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Tip on When Are Cats Considered “Seniors†By: Dr. Debra Primovic Cats age much faster than we do. Some people believe that cats live about 7 cat years for every one year of our life. It's a little more complicated than that and may be closer to 5 cat years to our one year.
Most cats are considered senior in the last 25% of their lives. If a healthy indoor cat lives to be 18 years old, he or she would be considered to be senior around age 13.
******************************* Chocolate Pudding Cake II Servings: 12 "It makes its own sauce! Delicious and easy, and made in the same pan it bakes in."
INGREDIENTS: 1 cup all-purpose flour 3/4 cup white sugar 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder 2 teaspoons baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup milk 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 3/4 cup packed brown sugar 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1 1/2 cups boiling water
DIRECTIONS: 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F ( 175 degrees C). 2. In ungreased 9 inch square pan, stir together flour, white sugar, cocoa, the baking powder, and salt. Mix in milk, oil, and vanilla with a fork until smooth. 3. Spread batter evenly in pan (batter will be thick). Sprinkle with brown sugar and 1/4 cup cocoa. Pour boiling water over batter. 4. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 40 minutes. Let stand 15 minutes, then spoon into dessert dishes or cut into squares. Invert each square onto dessert plate and spoon sauce over each serving. Top with ice cream or whipped topping, if desired.
******************************* CHOCOLATE FLANK STEAK WITH PINEAPPLE SALSA
Servings: 3 to 4 servings Prep Time: 20 min Cook Time: 20 min Difficulty: Easy
Ingredients 4 tablespoons white wine vinegar 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder 2 tablespoons firmly packed brown sugar 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 tablespoon ground cumin 2 teaspoons ancho chili powder 1 1/2 teaspoons salt Pinch ground black pepper 2 pounds flank steak Pineapple Salsa, recipe follows Chopped fresh cilantro leaves, for garnish, optional
Pineapple Salsa: 1 whole pineapple, peeled and diced 1 avocado, halved, pitted, and flesh diced 1/4 cup minced red onion 1/4 cup minced fresh cilantro leaves 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice 1/4 teaspoon salt
Directions In a large resealable plastic bag, combine vinegar, cocoa, brown sugar, olive oil, cumin, chili powder, salt, and pepper. Add flank steak; seal bag, and refrigerate for 1 to 2 hours or overnight. Spray nonstick griddle with nonstick spray and preheat to medium-high. Remove steak from marinade and discard marinade. Place steak on the griddle and cook for 6 minutes on each side for a medium-rare. When cooked to desired doneness, remove from the griddle, to a cutting board, and let rest for 10 minutes. Cut steak across the grain into thin strips. Serve with Pineapple Salsa and garnish with chopped cilantro, if desired. Pineapple Salsa: In a medium bowl, combine pineapple, avocado, onion, cilantro, lime juice and salt. Cover, and refrigerate for 1 hour. Yield: 2 cups ******************************* CHOCOLATE MOLTON LOVE CAKE
Servings: 12 Prep Time: 1 hour 15 min Cook Time: 1 hour
Ingredients Vegetable spray 1 pound sweet butter 1 pound 64 percent Valrhona chocolate 1/2 pound sugar (recommended brand: Dixie Crystal) 9 eggs 1/4 cup cake flour, sifted (recommended brand: King Arthur)
Creme Anglaise, recipe follows Butterscotch sauce, store-bought Raspberry Coulis, recipe follows Pistachio Tuile, recipe follows Chocolate Sauce, recipe follows Fresh berries, for garnish
Creme Anglaise: 3 cups heavy cream 40 percent 1 vanilla bean, preferably Madagascar, split and seeds scraped 1/2 pound granulated sugar 9 egg yolks
Raspberry Coulis: 1 pint fresh raspberries 3 ounces simple syrup, recipe follows
Simple Syrup: 2 cups granulated sugar 1 cup water
Pistachio Tuile: 1 cup whole milk 14 ounces melted sweet unsalted butter 14 ounces chopped pistachio nuts 4 1/4 ounces cake flour, sifted
Chocolate Sauce: 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate 7 tablespoons water 1/4 cup butter Directions Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Grease 12 baking rings with spray and arrange them over a greased and lined baking sheet. Mix the butter and chocolate in a stainless steel bowl over a double boiler. Melt until a smooth texture forms. Put the bowl over a double chiller.
*Cook’s Note: This is like a double boiler except the bottom bowl is filled with ice. Add the sugar and eggs to a medium bowl and whisk to combine. Slowly fold the eggs into the chocolate and butter mixture, then fold in the flour. Fill the baking rings 1/2-full with the batter. Bake in the oven until the sides have set but the center is glossy, about 6 minutes. Remove from oven, let cool a few minutes, then lift the baking ring off each cake. For assembly, add 1 to 2 tablespoons Creme Anglaise to each serving plate. Add butterscotch sauce to plates using a fancy design. Do the same with the Raspberry Coulis. Add a piece of Pistachio Tuile. Transfer the molten cakes from baking sheet to the plates on top of the sauces. Drizzle chocolate sauce on top and garnish with berries.
Creme Anglaise: In a medium saucepot pot over medium heat, add the cream, vanilla bean and seeds, sugar and egg yolks. Stir with rubber spatula directly touching the bottom of the pan keeping the mixture moving without sticking. Cook the mixture on medium heat for 15 minutes until the mixture tightens. Strain and chill over an ice bath until smooth, thick and cold.
Raspberry Coulis: Add the berries and syrup to a blender. Puree, then strain and pour into a squeeze bottle.
Simple Syrup: Mix sugar and water together in a pot. Cook on high heat until thick and the sugar has completely dissolved. Cool.
Pistachio Tuile: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Mix the wet ingredients together in a bowl. Mix the dry ingredients together in a separate bowl. Fold the wet with dry, a little at a time, until incorporated. Pour evenly on top of a silpat lined baking sheet. Bake for 5 minutes. Allow to cool, then break into pieces.
Chocolate Sauce: Add the chocolate, water and butter to a double boiler. Stir until melted then cool and drizzle on top of cakes.
******************************* FRUIT TRAY WITH FRUIT DIP
Servings: about 3 cups Prep Time: 30 min Difficulty: Easy
Ingredients 2 whole pineapples 2 large clusters green seedless grapes and several clusters Champagne grapes 6 oranges, peeled and sliced into wheels 1 cantaloupe, cut into cubes or balled 1 honeydew melon, cut into cubes or balled 24 long stemmed strawberries 6 to 8 kiwi, peeled and sliced 2 cups blueberries Red Leaf lettuce, to line silver tray French Cream, recipe follows
French Cream: 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese 1 cup powdered sugar 1 cup whipping cream 1/4 cup granulated sugar 1 lemon, zested and juiced Pineapple juice
Directions Soften cream cheese and then whip with powdered sugar. Whip cream and sugar together until it forms soft peaks. Combine beaten cream cheese, whipped cream, lemon juice and zest; continue to beat, adding just enough pineapple juice to achieve desired consistency. Serve with fresh fruit tray or fruit salad.
******************************* Corn Bread Casserole with Fresh Corn and Green Onions.
Ingredients: 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted, plus additional for coating pan 1 cup fresh corn kernels (from 2 ears of corn) 1 15-ounce can cream-style corn 1 cup sour cream 1 8-ounce package corn muffin mix 6 tablespoons thinly sliced green onions 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper Pinch salt
Instructions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Butter a 9-inch square baking pan; set aside. In a large bowl, stir together the 1/2 cup melted butter, the fresh corn, cream-style corn, sour cream, muffin mix, green onions, pepper, and salt. Pour batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 60 to 75 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let stand for 5 minutes before serving.
Servings: 6 to 8 Difficulty: Easy
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FRIED SWEET POTATO CHIPS
Servings: 4 servings Cook Time: 15 min
Ingredients Vegetable oil, for frying 2 large sweet potatoes, washed Paula Deen House Seasoning
Directions In a large sauce pan, heat oil to 350 degrees F. Thinly slice potatoes into round disks, about 1/4-inch thick. Fry for 1 1/2 to 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Remove from oil and drain on a paper towel. Sprinkle with House Seasoning or sugar, to taste.
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Post turtle
YOU'VE GOT TO LOVE THIS RANCHER'S OUTLOOK & COMMON SENSE APPROACH TO LIFE...
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who's hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president. The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle.'
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a 'post turtle' was. The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle.'
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain………. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with." ******************************* Paranormal Studies A professor at the Brighton University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands. "Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" About 15 students raise their hand. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?' Three students raise their hands. That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses and says "Ahmed, in all the years I've been giving this lecture no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost." You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.' The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?" Ahmed replied, "I am so sorry, from way back there I thought you said 'goats'".
******************************* POLITICAL PARROT
Before the collapse of communism, this Russian guy loses his pet parrot. He looks everywhere, all around the neighborhood, in the park, everywhere. He can't find the parrot. Finally he goes around to the KGB office, and tells the desk officer his problem. The officer is a little puzzled. "Look, comrade, I'm sorry you lost your bird, but this is the KGB. We don't handle missing animal reports." "Oh, I know that", says the guy. "I just wanted you to know, if you do find my parrot... I don't know where he could have picked up all his political ideas."
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GOING, GOING, GONE!
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the fine bird was finally his! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry", said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
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BRUTUS
Mrs. Broomfield's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment,and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!" When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Broomfield's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant squawking and talking. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid bird!" To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Brutus!"
***********************
CAT JOKES
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom. Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs. What is a cat's favourite song? Three Blind Mice. What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice? Don't you have a cat? What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement. How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it. Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering. Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists? Because they finally opened their eyes. Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day. What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat? A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you. What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator. What happened when the cat went to the flea circus? He stole the whole show! What is a cat's favourite colour? Purrrrrrrple! Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store. What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone. What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator. What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled fatty puss. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws. Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd. If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat? None! They were copy cats. Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you? That depends on whether you're a man or a mouse. How does the cat get its own way? With friendly purrsuasion. What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew. What has more lives than a cat? A frog because it croaks every night. What is a cat's favourite subject in school? HISStory. What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies. How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up. What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?" It's raining cats and dogs. Why are cats such good singers? Because they're very mewsical. What do you call newborn kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner? Chain litter. What is the cat's favourite magazine? Good Mousekeeping. How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn't empty. Why do you always find the cat in the last place you look? Because you stop looking after you find it. If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can't it jump through a three foot window? Because the window is closed. What is a cat's favourite movie? "The Sound of Mewsic." What does a cat that lives near the beach have in common with Christmas? Sandy Claws. Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't? Your lap. Why did the cat put oil on the mouse? Because it squeaked. What side of the cat has the most fur? The OUT-side. What is a cat's favourite car? The Catillac. What kind of cat will keep your grass short? A Lawn Meower. Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats? Because each of them was guilty of purrjury. What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb. Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark! Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because he's always spotted.
***********************
Ferret Jokes Q: Why does a ferret get frustrated if you spray Bitter Apple on your feet or put on shoes to thwart him? A: Ferrets are lack-toes intolerant.
Q: What do you call a mismatched pair of socks in the wash? A: Evidence.
Q: How many ferrets does it take to change a light bulb? A: The correct question is, how many lightbulbs does it take. You must try to retrieve your lightbulbs from behind the couch faster than the ferret can hide them.
Q: How do you drive a ferret crazy? A: Give him a round litter pan.
Q: What is a ferret's favorite song? A: Dook, dook, dook, dook of Earl...
Q: Which is preferable for a sable colored ferret to have, a pink nose or a dark nose? A: Makes no difference, they both smell the same. :)
Q: How do you keep a ferret from smelling? A: Wash the bedding, give him infrequent baths with mild ferret shampoo, have a gib instead of a hob, feed a good diet, don't startle him... (What, you really expected me to say "give him a cold" ?! >;-)
Q: What do pretzels, CDs, underwear, and human arms have in common? A: The containers that hold them are a good place for a nap.
Q: Why do ferrets do the Weasel War Dance? A: A long time ago, the Creator said "I'd better put aside these Mexican jumping beans while the larvae develop, and work on another species." But the Creator's place was not ferretproofed. His pet ferret prototype saw the beans and thought they were raisins. He was so happy to eat so many treats at once, and at the same time the beans started jumping. Like Pavlov's dogs, the happiness and the bouncing became associated. To this day, you can see how the beans are jumping when your own ferret is happy.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
"Love can and does go round the world, passed on the God-currents from one to another." . . GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
A More Excellent Way
2 Corinthians 5:17, KJV: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are
passed away; behold, all things are become new." Raised within the world around us, we learn how to respond to life much as anyone else in the world
does. But when we come to Christ, we are made new. We begin to grow away from our old ways, and
grow to become more like Christ. As we grow to be more like Him, we begin to respond to troubles,
crisis, pains, and problems in a manner that is as Christ would. We are no longer to respond as those
without Christ would respond, but we are to find within God all that is needed to find a more excellent
way--His way. In Romans 12:2, Paul writes, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." It is not an indictment to backslidden Christians,
but a word of encouragement to all Christians. The life that is in you now is true life--Life from God.
The greatest joy you will know is when you can relinquish the old ways, in favor of the wondrous ways
that emanate from an incredible, new life in Jesus Christ.
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as
white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. - Isaiah 1:18
******************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
variegated • VAIR-ee-uh-gay-tud • adjective 1 : having discrete markings of different colors 2 : various, diverse, varied
Examples: The flower has bright variegated petals.
"Both directors, committed to close psychological observation and day-to-day realism, also draw on a
rich and variegated native tradition that is evident in their work without being obvious." -- From a film
festival review by A. O. Scott in The New York Times, March 23, 2011
******************************* Ani DiFranco "Art may imitate life, but life imitates TV."
James Thurber "Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more."
W. C. Fields "Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was
about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long
story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling his story, about the treasure and
his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started
thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You
know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good
movie on the plane. It was a little long, though. –Jack Handey
******************************* How to Make a Wi Fi Booster Using Only a Beer Can
Not only is this clever use of a beer can an ultra cheap tech hack, it also means less fiddling around
with cardboard and aluminum foil as required by other hack methods. This method has been proven to
improve Wi-Fi reception from around 2 bars to about 4 on average, varying between 3 and 5. Give it a
go – all you've got to waste is a beer can!
Steps
Gather the required materials and tools. These are listed below under "Things You'll Need". Gather the required materials and tools. Clean the beer can. Make sure there is no residue left inside. Clean the beer can. Take the ring-pull off the can. Take the ring-pull off the can. Cut the end off the beer can where there's no opening. Do this using the Stanley knife or similar
suitable safety knife. Cut the end off the beer can where there's no opening. Cut around the end with the opening almost all the way. Leave a little bit of metal to keep attached the
part that will be the base (see the white line in the illustration). Cut around the end with the opening almost all the way. Cut along the middle of the can in a straight line, opposite to the piece of metal attaching the base. Cut along the middle of the can in a straight line, opposite to the piece of metal attaching the base. Being careful, open up the middle piece of metal by bending it until it vaguely resembles the shape of a
radar dish. Being careful, open up the middle piece of metal by bending it until it vaguely resembles the shape of a
radar dish. Place the completed Wi-Fi booster on your router. Place it so that the antenna pokes through the
opening, and stick the base of the can to the router with a small piece of poster tack or other suitable
adhesive. It's time to test how much your Wi-Fi is now boosted! Place the completed Wi-Fi booster on your router.
Warnings Be careful of the sharp edges around the can. It's easy to cut yourself on the sharp metal (and it's a
lot worse than a paper cut!). You can use adhesive tape to cover them and avoid dangers. Use duct
tape to cover the cut edges of the can bottom and sides.
Things You'll Need An empty, clean 500ml (16.9 fl oz) beer can A Stanley knife or similar safety knife A pair of scissors strong enough to cut through thin metal (most will do it) A small piece of poster tack or similar adhesive
*******************************
Funny Quote of the Day
Ani DiFranco "Art may imitate life, but life imitates TV."
James Thurber "Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more."
W. C. Fields "Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was
about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long
story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling his story, about the treasure and
his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started
thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You
know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good
movie on the plane. It was a little long, though. –Jack Handey
******************************* DO THIS -- IT WORKS's ((????????????? mjs))
Any time you call an 800 number (for a credit card, banking, charter communications, health and
other insurance, computer help desk, etc. etc. ) and you find that you're talking to a foreign customer
service representative (with an accent difficult to inderstand/ perhaps in India, Philippines, etc), please
consider doing the following: After you connect and you realize that the Customer Service Representative is not working in Canada.
(you can always ask, if you are not sure about the accent), please, very politely (this is not about
trashing other cultures) say, "I'd like to speak to a Customer Service Representative in Canada." The rep might suggest talking to his/her manager, but, again, politely say, "Thank you, but I'd like to
speak to a Customer Service Representative in Canada .." YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY CONNECTED TO A REP IN CANADA . That's the rule and the LAW. It takes less than one minute to have your call re-directed to Canada . Tonight when I got redirected to a Canadian Rep, I asked again to make sure - and yes, she was from
Calgary . Imagine what would happen if every Canadian Citizen insisted on talking to only Canadian phone reps,
from this day on. Imagine how that would ultimately impact the number of Canadian jobs that would need to be created
ASAP. If I tell 10 people to consider this and you tell 10 people to consider doing this - see what I mean...it
becomes an exercise in viral marketing 101. Remember - the goal here is to restore jobs back here at home - not to be abrupt or rude to a foreign
phone rep. You may even get correct answers, good advice, and solutions to your problem - in real
English.
If you agree, please tell 10 people you know, and ask them to tell 10 people they know....etc...etc : )
NOW I ASK YOU - CAN THIS HAPPEN IN THE USA???? DO WE HAVE THOSE RIGHTS???
******************************* Dirty Rice with Shrimp Active Time: 25 Minutes Total Time: 40 Minutes Yield: Serves 4
Typically, in this popular Acadian classic, it's chopped chicken livers and ground meat that make rice
look "dirty." For our special version, we've left out the livers and added shrimp but kept the rest of
the usual lineup - onion, celery, bell pepper, and garlic.
INGREDIENTS 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1/2 pound ground pork 1 onion, chopped 2 ribs celery, diced 1 green bell pepper, diced 1 clove garlic, minced 1/4 teaspoon cayenne 1/2 teaspoon paprika 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano 1 bay leaf 1 3/4 teaspoons salt 1/4 teaspoon fresh-ground black pepper 1 1/2 cups long-grain rice 3 cups canned low-sodium chicken broth or homemade stock 1 pound medium shrimp, shelled and halved 2 scallions including green tops, chopped
DIRECTIONS In a large saucepan, heat 1 tablespoon of the oil over moderate heat. Add the pork and cook until the
meat is no longer pink, about 2 minutes.
Reduce the heat to moderately low and add the remaining tablespoon oil to the pan. Add the onion,
celery, bell pepper, and garlic. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables start to
soften, about 5 minutes. Stir in the cayenne, paprika, oregano, bay leaf, salt, black pepper, and rice.
Cook for 1 minute, stirring. Add the broth. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer, covered, for
15 minutes.
Raise the heat to moderate and stir in the shrimp. Cover and cook for 2 minutes. Remove the pan from
the heat and let stand, covered, until the rice and shrimp are just done, about 5 minutes longer.
Remove the bay leaf. Stir in the scallions.
*******************************
Chocolate Waffles Active Time: 20 Minutes Total Time: 50 Minutes Yield: Makes 6 servings
INGREDIENTS
For Waffles: 8 ounces bittersweet chocolate 4 ounces semisweet chocolate 6 eggs, separated 1/2 cup brown sugar 1 cup sifted all-purpose flour 2 tablespoons grand marnier liqueur or orange juice 1 cup granulated sugar 1 ounce butter for waffle iron
Garnishes for Serving: 1/2 cup chocolate syrup 1/2 cup raspberry syrup 1 pint ice cream 1 cup strawberries 2 tablespoons confectioners' sugar 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
DIRECTIONS In the top of a double boiler or in a glass bowl in a microwave oven, melt together the bittersweet and
semisweet chocolates. In a bowl, whisk or beat together the egg yolks and the brown sugar until their
volume is almost double. Fold the egg yolks and brown sugar mixture into the melted chocolates. Fold
the flour into the chocolate mixture, 1/4 cup at a time. Add in the Grand Marnier or orange juice.
In another bowl, whisk the egg whites until they begin to stiffen, then add in the granulated sugar, 1/4
cup at a time, while continuing to whisk. When the egg whites start to stand in peaks, fold one third of
them into the chocolate mixture, then fold in the remaining whites. Cover the container and place this
batter into a refrigerator for at least 30 minutes. The batter, tightly sealed, will last in the
refrigerator for up to a week.
When you are ready to serve the waffles, preheat and lightly butter your waffle iron. Remove the
batter from the refrigerator and while it is still firm, scoop about a cup of the batter onto the hot
iron. Of course, you may need to adjust the amount of batter that you put on your waffle iron in
accordance with its size and shape. Cook the batter on each side for 3 minutes, or until it has a firm
crust.
To serve, cover one half of the surface of a serving plate with chocolate syrup and the other half
with raspberry syrup. Place a scoop of ice cream in the center. Arrange the waffle on or next to the
ice cream. Add a garnish of fresh strawberries and a light dusting of the confectioners' sugar and the
cocoa.
******************************* Oatmeal Waffles Active Time: 20 Minutes Total Time: 20 Minutes Yield: Makes 2 Belgian-style waffles
INGREDIENTS 2 egg whites 1/2 cup uncooked quick or old-fashioned oatmeal 1/2 cup whole-wheat flour 1/2 cup cornmeal 1/2 cup enriched white flour 1 tablespoon baking powder 1-1/2 cups buttermilk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Frozen strawberries, for topping (optional)
DIRECTIONS Lightly oil and preheat a waffle iron.
In a bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff.
In a second bowl, mix together the oatmeal, whole wheat flour, cornmeal, and white flour. Mix in the
baking powder. Add the buttermilk and vanilla extract and fold in the beaten egg whites.
Pour half the batter into the waffle iron and bake until done. Repeat.
NOTE: I often serve these waffles with a puree of strawberries that I make by running a 10-ounce
package of frozen strawberries through a blender for 30 seconds.
This batter also works for pancakes.
******************************* Killer Fudge Cake Active Time: 1 Hour 10 Minutes Total Time: 1 Hour 10 Minutes Yield: Makes one 9-in cake (Serves 8)
INGREDIENTS To Make the Cake: 6 ounces (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter 6 ounces unsweetened chocolate 6 large eggs 3 cups sugar 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
For the Icing: 1 1/2 cups sugar 2 tablespoons instant coffee powder 1 cup heavy cream 5 ounces unsweetened chocolate 4 ounces unsalted butter 1 tablespoon vanilla extract Chopped toasted pecans or walnuts for decoration
DIRECTIONS TO MAKE THE CAKE: In the top of a double boiler, over hot water, melt 6 ounces of the butter with
the 6 ounces of unsweetened chocolate. When this is melted, remove it from the heat and transfer
the mixture to a mixing bowl to cool to room temperature. While the chocolate and butter are cooling,
lightly butter the bottoms of two 9-inch round cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment baking
paper.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. When the chocolate is cool, add the eggs, sugar, salt and vanilla
and whisk together until well combined. Stir in the flour and pour the batter into the prepared baking
pans and bake for 35 minutes or until a toothpick, when inserted in the middle, comes out clean.
Remove the cakes from the oven and cool them in the pans for 30 minutes. With a knife, loosen the
edges of each of the cakes from the pans and turn them out onto a cake rack to cool completely.
TO MAKE THE ICING: While the cakes are baking, prepare the icing. In a small saucepan combine the
sugar, instant coffee and heavy cream. Bring this to a boil, and boil gently for 6 minutes. Remove from
the heat and add the unsweetened chocolate. After the chocolate has melted, add the butter and
vanilla and cool to room temperature.
TO PUT THE CAKE TOGETHER: Set one of the cakes top side up on a plate and cover with a bit of
icing. Set the second layer upside down so the bottom is facing up and ice the top and sides. Pat the
chopped nuts onto the sides of the cake and center some in the middle of the top layer. Refrigerate
the remaining icing until firm. Transfer the icing to a piping bag fitted with a rosette tip and pipe
rosettes around the edges. Store the cake in the refrigerator, but bring it back to room temperature
before serving.
******************************* Dirty Rice
Active Time: 30 Minutes Total Time: 1 Hour 5 Minutes Yield: 6 servings, about 1 1/3 cups each
A Louisiana favorite, our version of this spicy dish uses whole-grain Wehani rice. Long-grain brown rice
also works. Traditionally made with chicken liver, which gives it a “dirty†color, we use healthy lean
chicken sausage instead.
INGREDIENTS 1 1/2 cups Wehani or long-grain brown rice 3 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth 1 tablespoon peanut oil or canola oil 10 ounces cooked chicken andouille or other spicy chicken sausage, cut into 1/2-inch pieces 1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onion 1 1/4 cups chopped celery 1 cup chopped green bell pepper 1 cup chopped red bell pepper 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme leaves 1/4-1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1/4 teaspoon salt DIRECTIONS Bring rice and broth to a boil in a large saucepan. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer at the lowest
bubble until the liquid is absorbed and the rice is tender, about 50 minutes. Remove from the heat and
let stand, covered, for 10 minutes.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
"Love can and does go round the world, passed on the God-currents from one to another." . . GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
A More Excellent Way
2 Corinthians 5:17, KJV: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." Raised within the world around us, we learn how to respond to life much as anyone else in the world does. But when we come to Christ, we are made new. We begin to grow away from our old ways, and grow to become more like Christ. As we grow to be more like Him, we begin to respond to troubles, crisis, pains, and problems in a manner that is as Christ would. We are no longer to respond as those without Christ would respond, but we are to find within God all that is needed to find a more excellent way--His way. In Romans 12:2, Paul writes, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." It is not an indictment to backslidden Christians, but a word of encouragement to all Christians. The life that is in you now is true life--Life from God. The greatest joy you will know is when you can relinquish the old ways, in favor of the wondrous ways that emanate from an incredible, new life in Jesus Christ.
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. - Isaiah 1:18
******************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
variegated • VAIR-ee-uh-gay-tud • adjective 1 : having discrete markings of different colors 2 : various, diverse, varied
Examples: The flower has bright variegated petals.
"Both directors, committed to close psychological observation and day-to-day realism, also draw on a rich and variegated native tradition that is evident in their work without being obvious." -- From a film festival review by A. O. Scott in The New York Times, March 23, 2011
******************************* How to Dry Foods
Food drying offers an alternative method of food preservation than canning or freezing food. The process involves extracting moisture from specific foods to prevent the formation of bacterial growth and other organisms that cause rot or decay. Drying works best when it occurs outdoors in an oven or in a food dehydrator. Vegetables, fruits, herbs, meats and fish can withstand the food-drying process. Certain preparation methods apply before drying foods.
Steps
Prepare for Drying Food
1Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water and clean any utensils you plan to use.
2Clean fresh vegetables, such as green beans, corn and peppers. Trim away any bruises with a knife. Cut vegetables into smaller pieces, at least 1/2-inch (3.8 cm) thick, for easier drying. Place 1 quart (0.94 liters) of vegetables into a 36-inch (91 cm) cheesecloth. Blanch the cheesecloth bag of vegetables on the stove in a half-filled pot of boiling water. You may also add 1/4 teaspoon (1.2 ml)of citric acid to the water. Allow up to 6 minutes for blanching, then immediately place the bag in cold water for the same amount of time.
3Rinse and slice fruits, like apples, cherries and peaches. Cut the fruit into 1/2-inch (1.27 cm) pieces or in halves to ensure even drying. Fill a large pot with at least 1 quart (0.94 liters) of water. Add up to 1.5 teaspoons(7.3 ml) of food-grade quality sodium sulfate or sodium bisulfate to the water. Soak for approximately 5 to 15 minutes, depending on how you sliced the fruit. Rinse the fruit pieces with cold water before placing them on a rack to dry. 4Gather herbs during the morning once the dew evaporates. Collect the herbs right after the morning dew to minimize the risk of wilting. Rinse the herbs in cool water and shake off any excess.
5Clean and cut lean meats and fish. Slice lean cuts of beef or salmon into 1/4- to 1/2-inch thick (1.27 cm) slices. Cut off all fat because it spoils the meat during the drying process. Freeze any meat or fish you plan to dry for around 30 days. The freezing temperature should be at 0 degrees Fahrenheit (approximately 17 degrees Celsius) or lower. Thaw the meat and fish in the refrigerator. Add salt, seasonings and any marinades of your choice before the drying process. Remember to wash your hands again after handling vegetables, fruit, herbs and meat.
Choose Your Drying Method
1Arrange slices of vegetables, fruits or meats in single layers on drying trays. Place the trays inside of an oven or a food dehydrator.
2Line the bottom of the drying appliance with aluminum foil if you marinated the meat. This will catch the drippings.
3Place the drying trays in the appropriate appliance.
4Start the drying process. If you use an oven, then leave the door slightly open and keep a fan nearby for ventilation. Close the door of the food dehydrator since it already comes with a ventilation fan. Air-dry herbs or put them in a food dehydrator. Tie herbs such as basil, sage, rosemary and thyme in small bundles and hang them outdoors. Place the herbs in a food dehydrator for faster drying.
Tips
Vegetables dry for 4 to 18 hours at 140 degrees Fahrenheit (60 degrees Celsius). Fruit dries for up to 36 hours at 140 degrees Fahrenheit, while meat drying takes around 12 hours. Herbs dry within 1 to 4 hours at 115 degrees Fahrenheit (approximately 46 degrees Celsius).
Warnings
Avoid sulfites if you are sensitive to the fumes, which may cause breathing problems or eye irritation.
Things You'll Need
Fresh vegetables Knife Fresh fruit Fresh herbs Beef Salmon Cheesecloth Large pot 1/2 teaspoon (1.2 ml) citric acid 1.5 teaspoons (7.3 ml) sodium sulfate Drying trays Oven Food dehydrator *******************************
Chocolate Crunch Waffles with Caramel Sauce and Ice Cream
Active Time: 15 Minutes Total Time: 15 Minutes Yield: Serves 2
INGREDIENTS
For the Caramel Sauce: 1/3 cup brown sugar 1/3 cup heavy cream 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
For the Waffles: 3 tablespoons butter, melted 1 oz unsweetened chocolate, melted 1/3 cup sugar 1 egg, separted 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/3 cup milk 2 tablespoons chopped walnuts Vanilla ice cream, for serving Chocolate shavings, for decoration
DIRECTIONS
FOR THE CARAMEL SAUCE: Combine all of the sauce ingredients in a small saucepan. Stir over low heat until the sugar dissolves. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer, stirring, for 3 minutes.
FOR THE WAFFLES: Combine the melted butter and chocolate and stir vigorously until well combined. Add the sugar and egg yolk and beat well. Sift together all the dry ingredients and add to the chocolate mixture alternately with the milk. Beat the egg white until stiff. Fold into the chocolate mixture. Heat a waffle iron and cook the mixture according to the manufacturer's instructions. (It is best to oil the waffle iron for this mixture, as it tends to stick.) Serve immediately with the Caramel Sauce, vanilla ice cream, and shavings of chocolate.
*******************************
Old-Fashioned Chocolate Fudge
Active Time: 30 Minutes Total Time: 1 Hour 30 Minutes Yield: Makes 1 1/2 pounds (64 pieces)
INGREDIENTS 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate 2 cups sugar 3/4 cup milk 2 tablespoons light corn syrup 2 tablespoons butter, cut into small pieces 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
DIRECTIONS Butter a jelly-roll pan or an 8 x 8 -inch pan. Chop the chocolate in small pieces. Put the chocolate, sugar, milk, and corn syrup in a 3-quart heavy pot. Stir the ingredients to blend the mixture well. Turn the heat on low and stirring slowly, bring to a boil. Cover the pot and let boil (over the low heat) for 2 minutes. Uncover the pot, and using a pastry brush, brush down the sides of the pot with the brush that has been dipped in cold water. (This helps the fudge not to become granulated.) Continue to boil slowly, without stirring over the low heat, until the syrup reaches the soft-ball stage (it will read 234 degrees F on a candy thermometer.) Remove from the heat, add the butter without stirring, and set the pot on a cooling surface or rack. Do not stir until the syrup is lukewarm (110 degrees F), then add the vanilla and stir until the mixture loses its glass and thickens. Pour into the buttered pan and using a table knife mark it into the squares. When firm, cut into pieces and store airtight in plastic bags if not serving shortly.
OPTIONAL: If you wish, add 1 cup chopped walnuts when you add the vanilla.
*******************************
Pumpkin Pancakes
INGREDIENTS 2 2/3 cup flour Cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger & cloves to taste 2 teaspoons baking soda 2 teaspoons of baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 8 eggs (separated) 2 1/2 cups buttermilk 1 1/2 cups pumpkin (one 15 ounce can) 1/2 cup sugar 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla 1 stick of melted butter, slightly cooled
DIRECTIONS Whisk together flour, spices, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl and set aside. With a hand mixer, whip egg whites until stiff but not dry. Mix together buttermilk, pumpkin, sugar, vanilla and butter. Make a well in the dry ingredients and fold in buttermilk-pumpkin mixture; do not over mix. Gently fold egg whites into batter. Cook on a hot grill until bubbles form at the edges. Flip and cook 2 to 3 minutes more.
******************************* Spanish Omelet Active Time: 20 Minutes Total Time: 20 Minutes Yield: Serves 6
These omelets make a substantial breakfast or a hearty lunch. If hungry guests are standing by, serve each omelet as soon as it is done; if your crowd is more patient, wait until all are cooked to begin eating. Serve with a side of toast and potatoes O' Brien.
INGREDIENTS
For the Sauce: 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 yellow onion, thinly sliced 1/2 green bell pepper, seeded, deribbed and cut lengthwise into narrow strips 1 clove garlic, minced 2 cups tomato sauce
For the Omelets: 12 eggs Pinch of salt Pinch of freshly ground pepper 6 tablespoons unsalted butter 1 1/4 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
DIRECTIONS
FOR THE SAUCE: In a large nonstick frying pan over medium heat, warm the olive oil. Add the onion and sauté, stirring occasionally, until just beginning to soften, 3-4 minutes. Add the green pepper and continue to sauté, stirring occasionally, until the green pepper begins to soften, 3-4 minutes. Add the garlic and sauté for 1 minute longer. Then add the tomato sauce and simmer, stirring occasionally, until slightly reduced, about 3 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper, cover and keep warm.
FOR THE OMELETS: In a bowl, whisk together the eggs, salt and pepper until well blended. In an 8-inch nonstick frying pan or omelet pan over medium heat, melt 1 tablespoon of the butter. When the foam subsides, add one-sixth of the beaten eggs and immediately stir the center with the flat side of a fork. Then, with the tines of the fork, lift the edges of the omelet and tilt the pan so that any uncooked egg runs underneath the cooked portion. Vigorously slide the pan back and forth over the burner until the omelet moves freely. When the omelet is lightly cooked but still creamy in the center, mound one-sixth of the cheese over half of the omelet. Using a spatula, lift and fold the uncovered half over the filling. Slide the omelet onto a warmed individual plate and spoon some of the sauce over the top. Cover lightly with aluminum foil and keep warm while you cook the remaining omelets. Serve the omelets piping hot.
******************************* Potatoes O'Brien Active Time: 30 Minutes Total Time: 30 Minutes Yield: 6 Servings
This recipe for crisp, panfried potatoes with peppers and onions originated in the early 1900s at a
Boston restaurant known as Jerome's. You can vary the recipe by substituting any of your favorite
pepper varieties.
INGREDIENTS 1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped 1/2 small red bell pepper, seeded, deribbed and finely diced 1/2 small green bell pepper, seeded, deribbed and finely diced 2 lb small white or red potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch cubes 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley
DIRECTIONS In a large frying pan over medium-high heat, melt 1/2 tablespoon of the butter with 1/2 tablespoon of
the olive oil. Add the onion and saute, stirring occasionally, until golden brown and just beginning to
caramelize, 5-7 minutes. Do not allow the onion to scorch. Add the red and green peppers and saute
until beginning to soften, 3-5 minutes longer. Transfer to a serving bowl and set aside.
Add 1/2 tablespoon each of the remaining butter and olive oil to the same pan. Add half of the cubed
potatoes and cook, turning to brown all sides, 5-7 minutes. If the potatoes are too dry, add a little
more butter or oil. Transfer the browned potatoes to the bowl holding the pepper mixture. Repeat
with the remaining butter, olive oil and potatoes.
Return the mixture to the pan. Raise the heat to high so that it quickly warms through. Remove from
the heat and season to taste with salt and pepper. Add the parsley and stir to combine. Return to the
serving bowl and serve immediately.
*******************************
Nursing home sex...
Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the
Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to
chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks,
'Do you know what I miss most of all?'
She asks, 'What?'
'Sex!!' he replies
Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a
gun to your head!'
'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it
for a while.'
Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his
manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly
each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would
hold Harold's manhood.
Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting
by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding
Harold's manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son-of-a-bitch! What does
Ethel have that I don't have?'
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinsons.'
******************************* Those Dang 4-Hour Erection Problems ! What happens when you ask for help with an erection lasting more than 4 hours? Earl walked into a drug store in Kentucky and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist, and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no male employees. She then asked if she could help him. Earl said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The lady pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with a high level of professionalism. Earl then agreed and began by saying, 'This is tough for me to discuss, but I get erections every day that last more than four hours. It causes me a lot of problems, and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it.' The pharmacist said, 'Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister.' When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and this is the absolute best we can do. 1/3 ownership in the store, a company pickup truck, a king size bed, and $3,000 a month in living expenses. ******************************* Gender-Specific Driving Etiquette
A woman is driving at night on a narrow country road. At the same time, a man is driving in the opposite direction on that same road. When they narrowly pass each other at high speed, the woman rolls down her window and loudly shouts Donkey ! Immediately the man shouts back BITCH ! The man laughs He is proud to have reacted so quickly to the shouting woman and takes the next turn in the road, maintaining his speed. Moral of the story:
Men never listen and, when they do, they don't understand one word a woman says.
*******************************
RETIREMENT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home.
On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass.
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.
This time my curiosity got the best of me, and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.
'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?'
'Yes,' she said. 'They're retired prostitutes, and they're having a yard sale.'
*******************************
Five Things Pets Teach Children Poet William Blake once wrote, "Everyone that lives, lives not alone nor for itself." This is especially true when it comes to our pets. And, according to researchers and counselors, it may be one of the most important lessons pets teach children.
Parents often bring a pet into the family to teach kids a sense of responsibility, or perhaps to provide an only child with a playmate. But children often learn something more fundamental about themselves and the world: how to empathize with others, how to understand subtle feelings and how to look at the world from a vastly different perspective.
"The child learns how the world and living things are interconnected," explains Rebecca Reynolds Weil, an occupational therapist and executive director of the Animals As Intermediaries program. AAI, based in Mass., is a nature-based educational and therapeutic program designed to help children and senior citizens connect with a world they may have trouble relating to. Animals are a vital part of the program, Weil says, because they stimulate curiosity and build empathy.
The program (www.aai-nature.org) brings the natural world to the program's participants, many of whom reside in institutional settings. But pets in the home can accomplish the same goals. On the emotional level, pets can teach children many things:
Communication: Children learn the subtle cues their pets give them to indicate their feelings. They can later apply this lesson to human interaction because they are more attuned to watching for body posture.
Empathy: Children often become curious about the emotions their pets feel. This curiosity will extend itself to others. "Animals offer an avenue for children to explore their curiosity," Weil explains. "For a child, curiosity can lead to hope and to greater engagement with the world around them."
Nurturing skills: If properly supervised by adults, a child learns how to take care of another living being, and take pleasure in keeping the pet healthy and happy.
Confidence: Children go through life under constant evaluation. They are rated by their behavior, grades and athletic performance. This is especially true of middle school children. Pets have no such expectations; they're delighted that the child is with them. "Pets give children the sense of unconditional acceptance," Weil says. "No judging or rating is involved."
Resilience to change: Children who undergo traumatic experiences often cope better when they have a pet to confide in. "Loneliness is very dangerous to children," Weil says. "Having an animal companion can make them feel a part of something."
A study published in 2000 explored the relationship between pets and children. Specifically, the study, conducted by a child psychologist in New Mexico, looked at the effect dog ownership had on 10- to 12-year-old children. The researcher, Robert E. Bierer, Ph.D., was surprised at the difference in empathy and self-esteem between preadolescents who owned a dog and those who did not.
Bierer's conclusions support the growing body of evidence that shows dog ownership has "statistically significant" impact on self-esteem and sensitivity toward others. He noted that teachers, parents and other children have expectations for a child to fulfill. A pet has no such measures of success or failure; acceptance is total, which provides a sense of self worth.
Pets also teach children about the importance of taking care of themselves. For instance, Weil says she teaches children why it is important to take care of a pet, brush his teeth and keep him clean. When they understand the importance, Weil turns the focus on the children themselves. If brushing a dog's teeth is important for his health, then naturally it is important for the child's well being.
This doesn't necessarily mean that all children are ready for pet ownership. Parents should first make sure their child desires a pet before rushing out to get one. Together, they should decide what type of pet is best. Moreover, don't assume your child will take care of the dog. The ultimate responsibility usually falls on the parent, not the kid, to make sure the pet is healthy.
For more information on pets and children, see How to Keep Dogs and Kids Together and Pros and Cons of Pet Types for Kids.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Numbers 22:24-25
(24) Then the Angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between the vineyards, with a wall on this side and a wall on that side. (25) And when the donkey saw the Angel of the LORD, she pushed herself against the wall and crushed Balaam"s foot against the wall; so he struck her again.
What does God do? His first attempt to get Balaam's attention fails—not with the donkey, but with Balaam. The man is totally oblivious to what is going on. So God narrows him in or hedges him in. The path that Balaam was taking led between two hedges or walls. There was enough room,however, for the donkey to turn aside, which is what she did. She turned away, but in doing so, Balaam's foot became crushed against the wall, causing him pain. Perhaps God thought that a little pain would help him come to his senses. However, Balaam does not think about God at all. He thinks, "You stupid donkey! Why did you do that to me?" He does not say anything at this point but beats the poor donkey. His injury does not cause him to consider at all that God may be trying to get his attention. It never comes to mind that God may be telling him something. He takes all his pain and rage out on this innocent donkey, which was only trying to obey God. Think of the donkey in terms of this passage: But my eyes are upon You, O GOD the Lord; in You I take refuge; do not leave my soul destitute. Keep me from the snares they have laid for me, and from the traps of the workers of iniquity. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I escape safely. (Psalm 141:8-10) The donkey who saw God would have avoided the trap and escaped, if it were not for Balaam controlling her. He made her go back into the trap—and on to his own ruin.
Isaiah 33:22 “For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; it is he who will save us.â€
************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
calenture • KAL-un-chur • noun : a fever formerly supposed to affect sailors in the tropics
Examples:
"The dairy was certainly worth looking at: it was a scene to sicken for with a sort of calenture in hot and dusty streets -- such coolness, such purity, such fresh fragrance of new-pressed cheese, of firm butter, of wooden vessels perpetually bathed in pure water. …" -- From George Eliot's novel Adam Bede, 1859
"I always associate [the restaurant chain] Little Chef with rollicking rides along provincial arterial roads, the kind of interminable drives during which one begins to appreciate the delusion known as calenture. Sailors, in the days before steam and out of sight of land for months, would sometimes begin to hallucinate and, seeing the waves as green fields, try and walk off across them." -- From an article by Will Self in New Statesman, November 15, 2010
**************************** How to Get Rid of Fruit Flies
Do the fruit flies always beat you to the fruit bowl? Once they settle in, these uninvited guests know how to overstay their welcome. Here are a few quick, easy and environmentally friendly ways to rid your home of those pesky fruit flies.
Steps
1Remove the food sources attracting the flies. Fruit flies have a life-cycle of 10 days giving them plenty of time to punish you for leaving moist, fermenting, organic material in which they may lay eggs. Most fly trap ideas only serve to illustrate the flies' progress in taking over your home, and some will themselves provide a breeding ground. Sanitation is the only effective resolution! Address these frequent problem spots: Wash all dishes. Clear the drains. Launder the dishrags, or at least wash them thoroughly with soap, rinse them well and wring them dry before hanging them up. Don't leave them in the sink.
2Keep your house clean, and throw away rotting fruit. Store trash in a covered bin. Do not toss food garbage into waste-paper baskets. Cover your fruit bowl or store fruit you wish to keep in the refrigerator. Also, raisins, dates and prunes are favorite attractants. Use or discard all overripe fruit. Clean opened containers of fruit juice, fermented or vinegar products, for example ketchup, Sriracha sauce, or cooking wine. Seal them well. Keep these in the refrigerator if possible. Wipe up crumbs and spills from your cabinets, counter and floor. Take out all trash, do not re-use the plastic liner garbage bags. Clean the seals of your refrigerator door, the top and under the fridge, especially clean the evaporation pan if it has one. Clean under and around your dishwasher and stove. Dump mop water, clean the pail, launder the mop rag. Remove damp lint from the laundry room. Take out your compost and keep your collection bin covered and food additions to your pile buried beneath yard waste. Do not use manure or lake water for fertilizer near the house. Use screens for your doors and windows. Put a household fan near the most vulnerable areas (fruit bowl) and keep it blowing across the fruit. The flies cannot land in a cross wind. If doing this then put any bottle trap etc away from the fruit as it won't work either. Put new soft fruit in a brown bag, this helps it ripen but also keeps the fruit flies away from the easiest targets. They will have more difficulty with harder skinned fruit that you can leave out.
Catch and release method
1Drop a piece of rotten fruit into a large, clean jar such as a Mason jar. 2Place the jar near the greatest concentration of flies, i.e., if they're hanging around the fruit bowl, put the jar in the fruit bowl. 3Put a paper cone with a small hole in the bottom in the mouth of the jar. It should have the pointed end pointed downward. The fruit flies will enter the cone through the large end by the mouth of the bottle and find their way through the hole into the bottle. They will not be able to get out. 4Release them outside when you have several, if you like.
Make a bowl trap
1Put a piece of old skinless fruit and some wine, or some balsamic vinegar in a bowl (think like the flies: what do you want for dinner?). A mixture of white wine and coriander seeds works very, very well. Cover the bowl tightly (no wrinkles) with plastic wrap. Poke many small holes in the plastic with a fork. The fruit flies go in and can't get out (if the holes are too big they will fly back out). Then you can release them outside.
Make a plastic zip lock bag trap
1Place a few slices of an apple inside a zip lock bag 2Leave an inch open to allow pests to enter. The little pests will soon be on and surrounding the apple. 3Zip the bag closed and release them outside.
Vacuum Cleaner Method
1Use your favorite vacuum cleaner: Fruit flies tend to congregate in certain areas, so if your vacuum is powerful and has a good filter (hepa or otherwise) you can easily suck up lots of them and send them packing. 2Remove the floor cleaning attachment and suck the flies from shaft. Many vacuums come with extender attachments to reach those hard to get spaces. 3Jazz the vacuum cleaner hose method using a tapped on clear soda bottle, or try a piece of clear plastic, taped in a cylinder or funnel-shape, attached to your vacuum hose. Also you may dip a couple pieces of paper towel or cotton swab in jelly or cider vinegar and then securely tape them inside the tube and attract flies, when you see some in the tube turn on the vac. 4Dispose of the dust, and such, outside or get rid of the inner bag.
Soap Method
1Whip up some soap suds with dish soap. 2Let them sit in a bowl on your counter. The flies will land in the suds and die. Use a little fruit or juice to help attract them.
Combination Method
1 In the jar, put A bit of rotting fruit, like an old cutie or something. Cut it open so that more of it is exposed. Some thick sugar and honey syrup.
2 Heat up about 2/3 of the total amount of liquid you desire. 3 Put in some honey and a large amount of sugar so it becomes a syrup. 4 Take some apple cider vinegar and pour it into the jar until you reach the desired amount of liquid. You can also use Red wine or one of the other ingredients listed in the article. 5 Put the cone on, make sure that it is sealed to the jar, and watch the fruit flies enter. The strength of the bait grows over time as it ferments. Also, the liquid has the double purpose of drowning and attacking. If the fruit flies fall into it, it sticks their wings to their bodies so they cannot fly.
Tips
Any small container with a teaspoon of cider vinegar, 2 tablespoons of water & a drop of two of dish soap will attract & drown them. To kill off the rest of the population, try pouring a cup or two of warm/hot vinegar (can be diluted with half water) down your kitchen & bathroom drains. This worked for an unusually pesky population. If you have a gas stove with a constant pilot light, place the trap on the warm part of the stove top. This will help spread the smell of the vinegar. If vinegar does not work, try soy sauce.[citation needed] Make sure you choose the right type of vinegar. White vinegar does not work. Malt vinegar and red wine work, just not as well as cider. Beer sometimes works, too. Balsamic vinegar also works well. Wine works extremely well, and a wine bottle with an inch or so left can be used without an additional funnel. You can forgo the funnel if you put a small bit of dish washing detergent in the cup with the vinegar and stir. The fruit flies are still attracted to the vinegar smell, and the detergent traps them. The detergent actually reduces the surface tension of the liquid allowing the flies to more readily sink and drown. Another simple suggestion is to use a vacuum cleaner with a hose attachment. The fruit flies cannot escape the suction and will die in the process of being sucked in. This is especially helpful when you get a very large "surprise" infestation. Fruity smelling dish washing liquids (lemon, etc.) also attract fruit flies. It seems like dark bowls/mugs (black) worked better at attracting the flies to the vinegar. Bourbon also works. Leave the top off of a mostly empty bottle and the bottle will act as a funnel trap. Fruit flies breed and live in warm moist places such as a garbage disposal and/or drains in the sink. Cleaning and hot water on a regular basis will combat these possibilities. You can also pour ice down the drain overnight. Hang a few of those old flypaper rolls over the area of infestation. Ugly, but effective. These are extremely poisonous though; use with caution and keep out of reach of children. And get rid of all your exposed fruit. Once ripened, bananas can be stored in the refrigerator. The accumulated scum inside your sink drain is a breeding ground for fruit flies. Use a cheap bottle brush and a hot water rinse to clean out the drain every week or so. The bottle brush must be small enough to fit past the strainer grid. Also, never stick your hand into a garbage disposal. Tip for bartenders that constantly fight this. Cover liquor bottles that have a pour spout on them with a small sheet of cellophane. Clean bottles below the spout with an ammonia based cleaner, every other day. Wipe bar down at the end of the night with same cleaner. Fruit flies sense quick movement. Approach them very slowly with a moist paper towel on bathroom mirrors, cabinets, etc. and you'll get them every time. Leave an empty bottle of beer open and unattended, they will fly in. recap and throw away. Clorox cleaning spray. Wipe down surfaces and dead flies afterwards. Also, ventilate the room you're spraying; the smell can be somewhat overwhelming. If using fresh fruit in your trap, be sure to remove and thoroughly clean it every day - the fruit will give way to larvae surprisingly quickly. Vinegars and wines don't allow larvae to survive. After cleaning a drain or getting rid of old fruit, peppermint extract will drive them away. If you take part of a paper towel and twist it into a wick, place one end into the peppermint extract, leaving part of it on the outside. Tip the bottle to wet the wick. Set the bottle of peppermint extract on the counter or by the area that was infested. They will be gone. This works great at home, but also works in bars near the drains. Use a fine mist bottle to spray mobs of flies and they will drop to the surface below. Because their wings are damp, they can not fly so you can easily squash them without them getting away. If you don't have cider vinegar, wine or beer you can add a drop of honey to 1" seasoned rice vinegar along with the drop of detergent, at the bottom of a plastic soda bottle. The flies seem to like it. If you use the freezer method, be aware that some flies may survive the process for up to a day. Windex is an instant killer of most small bugs. If you find a patch of fruit flies in an area you are willing to get wet, give them a few quick sprays of Windex and watch them suffer. Some may think air freshener will chase fruit flies away, but it can actually attract them even more. Anything which has a sweet smell, such as lemon or orange scented air freshener, will attract fruit flies. A potted plant can be rid of fruit flies by allowing it the dirt to dry completely between waterings. This kills most of the larvae; the adults don't live long and will soon be gone. Take extra care to check soil for dryness and rewater promptly with plants with stiff leaves because these do not wilt as a warning that they are too dry before dying. Also, there are some insecticides safe to use on plants that are, or will be brought, inside.[1]
****************************** Classic Beet Salad
Makes 6 servings
Hungry for a healthy and hearty salad? Just beet it. Serve boiled beets marinated in a sweet and spicy vinaigrette dressing for best results. Loaded with anti-oxidants, it's the ultimate dish for optimum health. Ingredients
2 bunches beets 2 tbsp. water 1/4 cup white vinegar 2 tbsp. caraway seeds 1 tsp. white sugar 2 tbsp. minced onion 1 tsp. prepared horseradish 1/4 tsp. ground cloves 1/2 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. ground black pepper 5 tbsp. vegetable oil
Methods/steps Wash beets and trim off greens. Bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil; add beets and cook, covered, until beets are tender. Remove from heat, drain, and peel and slice when cool. In a large bowl, whisk together the water, vinegar, caraway seeds, sugar, onion, horseradish, cloves, salt, pepper and oil. Add beets and toss to coat. Let stand for several hours, stirring occasionally. Serve at room temperature or chilled, as desired. Additional Tips 2 hours 30 min
****************************** Pull-apart Honey Pecan Coffeecake Active Time: 35 Minutes Total Time: 14 Hours 45 Minutes Yield: Serves 8
With the use of the dough hook, the ingredients are quickly put together for an overnight rise. A little assembly in the morning is rewarded with a wonderfully sticky, pull-apart bread.
INGREDIENTS
For the Dough: 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter 1 cup whole milk 1/3 cup lukewarm water (105 to 115 degrees F) One 1/4-ounce package dry yeast (2 1/4 teaspoons) 1/3 cup sugar 2 large eggs 1 teaspoon salt 4 1/4 cups (or more) all-purpose flour
For the Coffeecake: Nonstick vegetable oil cooking spray 1 cup toasted chopped pecans
1 1/4 cups firmly packed golden brown sugar 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, melted 5 tablespoons honey DIRECTIONS FOR THE DOUGH: Melt butter in heavy small saucepan over medium-low heat. Remove from heat; add milk. Let mixture stand until cooled to at least 110 degrees F. Meanwhile, combine water and yeast in large bowl of heavy-duty stand mixer; let stand until yeast dissolves, about 5 minutes. Add milk mixture, sugar, eggs and salt. Using dough hook, mix on high speed until eggs are blended. Gradually mix in 4 1/4 cups flour. Continue kneading on medium speed until dough is smooth and pulls away from sides of bowl, adding more flour if necessary, about 5 minutes. Remove dough from bowl; form into ball. Sprinkle some flour into bottom of mixing bowl; return dough to bowl. Cover and chill overnight.
FOR THE COFFEECAKE: Spray 10-inch-diameter angel food cake pan with nonstick spray. Sprinkle pecans evenly over bottom of pan. Punch dough down. Roll out dough on lightly floured work surface to 10-inch square. Cut dough into five 2-inch-wide strips. Cut each strip into five 2-inch squares, creating 25 pieces total. Combine brown sugar and cinnamon in medium bowl. Dip each dough piece into melted butter, then into brown sugar mixture, coating each piece evenly. Transfer each piece to waxed paper-lined baking sheet. Combine all remaining melted butter (about 2 tablespoons) with all remaining brown sugar mixture (2 to 3 tablespoons). Stir 3 tablespoons honey into brown sugar mixture. Pour honey mixture evenly over pecans in pan. Arrange dough pieces atop pecans, spacing evenly and creating two layers. Drizzle dough with remaining 3 tablespoons honey. Let rise in warm draft-free area until almost doubled, about 1 hour 15 minutes. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Bake coffeecake until golden brown, about 55 minutes. Cool on rack 10 minutes. Turn coffeecake out onto platter. Serve warm or at room temperature.
*********************
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Watch out for Phonies
"Come, let us meet together in one of the villages on the plain of Ono. But they were scheming to harm me."1 When Nehemiah and the ancient Israelites had almost completed rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem several centuries BC, enemies were not happy with their progress and sought to discourage Nehemiah and get rid of him. They tried to lure him away from his work by inviting him to meet with them in the Plain of Ono. But Nehemiah's reply was, "O no!" He knew their stories were fabricated and that they were lying. Just as well he did, otherwise he would have been destroyed and God's work frustrated. Nehemiah stuck to the job until the work was finished and the walls rebuilt. Whenever we get involved in a fruitful work for God, opposition is usually par for the course. The enemy attacks at every opportunity and usually at our most vulnerable points. He is a master of deceit and will seek to discourage us, sidetrack us from the main task to waste our time on less important matters, tempt us to stray from the beaten path, and so on. Whatever devices he uses we, like Nehemiah, need to be aware of these, for more often than not he comes as an angel of light. When in doubt, we need to pray for God to reveal to us the truth of the situation in which we find ourselves. Realize, too, that the more authentic and real we are, the easier we will "smell" (discern) those who are not for real and are seeking to distract us so that they can lure us away from what God wants us to do.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please give me the same kind of insight, wisdom and courage that Nehemiah had and stick to the work you have for me to do until it is finished. Help me to say 'no' to any temptation or distraction that would take me away from following and serving you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Nehemiah 6:2 (NIV).
******************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
bower • BOW-er • noun 1 : an attractive dwelling or retreat 2 : a lady's private apartment in a medieval hall or castle 3 : a shelter made with tree boughs or vines twined together : arbor
Examples:
Bryan knelt down before Maura -- who was seated on a bench in the bower -- took her hand, and asked her if she would marry him.
"With its urban parks and backyard bowers, and its many varieties of flowering and hardwood trees, Memphis sometimes seems more forest than city." -- From an article by John Beifuss in The Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN), July 21, 2011
******************************* How to Teach Your Dog to Focus
In order to teach your dog new tricks, the dog should be able to focus on you (look at you) in plenty of different situations. Getting your dog to focus is easily taught and should be the first behaviour you teach her. You will need a clicker for this tutorial.
Steps
Have your dog leashed if needed. Have your dog leashed if needed. Decide if you want your dog to look at you as a whole or just to look at your face. When your dog incidentally looks at you, click and reward. Repeat this many times.
Make use of everyday life to train this basic skill. Make use of everyday life to train this basic skill. When your dog looks at you during a walk - click and reward. The more times you reinforce your dog looking at you, the more frequently she will look at you.
Click for looks. Click for looks. It's good to start the training session by clicking a few times when your dog looks at you, especially when training among other dogs.
Teach your dog gradually to look at you in different situations:. Teach your dog gradually to look at you in different situations: Have your dog stand in front of you. When your dog looks at you, don't click. Instead, start to walk backwards. If your dog begins to follow you and continues to look at you, click and reward. Bit by bit, walk further backwards, at angles and make it gradually more difficult for your dog to see you. Keep on doing this until your dog can follow you with full focus 20-30 metres (21-32 yards).
Teach your dog to look at you while sitting in front of you. Teach your dog to look at you while sitting in front of you. At last your dog should be able to look at you for 10-15 seconds without losing her focus.
Start to train focus in your garden and then on the pavement. Start to train focus in your garden and then on the pavement. When your dog is good enough on focusing, you can train her in the dog club nearby other dogs. Approach other dogs gradually.
Put a bowl with treats or your dog's favourite toy on the ground. Put a bowl with treats or your dog's favourite toy on the ground. Then back off a metre (a yard). When your dog looks at you, click and let your dog take the treats or the toy by saying "Go get it", "Here you are", "Okay" or something like that.
When your dog wants something, let your dog look at you first. When your dog wants something, let your dog look at you first. The wanted thing can be food, a lamppost, another dog etc. The reward is to get the wanted thing. Then you don't have to click, you just tell her to go get it.
Warnings
Never lure or nag your dog to look at you. Your dog should always look at you spontaneously.
Things You'll Need
A dog A clicker Dog treats ******************************* Glazed Grilled Salmon Active Time: 10 Minutes Total Time: 20 Minutes Yield: Serve: 2
Don't you love recipes that are easy to make, but taste like they took all day? We sure do and that's why this simple, yet stunning glazed salmon is one of our favorites. Sweet and tangy, the glaze complements the delicious taste of fresh salmon.
INGREDIENTS 3 tablespoons. dark brown sugar, packed 4 teaspoons Dijon mustard 1 teaspoon rice vinegar 1 tablespoon soy sauce 2 (8-oz.) salmon fillets or steaks (about 3/4-inch thick) DIRECTIONS Prepare grill to medium-high heat. To create glaze, combine brown sugar, mustard, rice vinegar and soy sauce in medium bowl then whisk to blend. Brush 1 side of salmon fillets generously with half of glaze. Place salmon steaks, glazed side down, onto barbecue. Grill until glaze is slightly charred, about 4 minutes. Brush top of salmon steaks with remaining glaze. Turn salmon over and grill until second side is slightly charred and salmon is just opaque in center, about 5 minutes longer. Transfer salmon to plates.
******************************* Moroccan Grilled Salmon Active Time: 20 Minutes Total Time: 40 Minutes Yield: 2 servings
Tangy plain yogurt mixed with the classic ingredients for chermoula—a Moroccan spice mix—serves as both the marinade and the sauce in this salmon dish. If you like your food on the spicy side, add a pinch of cayenne to the mixture.
INGREDIENTS 2 tablespoons low-fat or nonfat plain yogurt 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 1/2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 clove garlic, minced 3/4 teaspoon paprika 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin 1/8 teaspoon salt Freshly ground pepper to taste 8 ounces center-cut salmon fillet, skinned and cut into 2 portions 2 lemon wedges
Tip: To skin a salmon fillet: Place a fish fillet on a clean cutting board, skin side down. Starting at the tail end, slip the blade of a long, sharp knife between the fish flesh and the skin, holding the skin down firmly with your other hand. Gently push the blade along at a 30° angle, separating the fillet from the skin without cutting through either. DIRECTIONS
Combine yogurt, parsley, cilantro, lemon juice, oil, garlic, paprika, cumin, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Reserve 2 tablespoons of the sauce; cover and refrigerate. Place salmon in a medium sealable plastic bag. Pour in the remaining yogurt mixture, seal the bag and turn to coat. Refrigerate for 10 (or up to 30) minutes.
******************************* Blackened Salmon Po’ Boy Active Time: 25 Minutes Total Time: 25 Minutes Yield: 2 servings
Mashed avocado mixed with reduced-fat mayo creates a cool, creamy spread the perfect counterpoint to the spicy salmon and peppery arugula in this sandwich. Catfish is another tasty choice. Serve with Oven Sweet Potato Fries.
INGREDIENTS 1/2 small avocado, pitted (see Tips for Two) 1 tablespoon reduced-fat mayonnaise 1 teaspoon blackening or Cajun seasoning 8 ounces salmon fillet, skinned and cut into 2 portions 2 crusty whole-wheat rolls, split and toasted 1 cup arugula 1 plum tomato, thinly sliced 1/4 cup thinly sliced red onion
Tips for Two—Avocado Storage: Although browning is inevitable, less browning is possible if you keep the pit in the half you’re storing and wrap it tightly in plastic wrap. Uses: Mash with reduced-fat mayonnaise and use as a sandwich spread; dice and sprinkle on top of scrambled eggs; toss in salad. To oil the grill rack: Oil a folded paper towel, hold it with tongs and rub it over the rack. (Do not use cooking spray on a hot grill). When grilling delicate foods like tofu and fish, it is helpful to spray the food with cooking spray. DIRECTIONS Preheat grill to high. Oil grill rack (see Tip). Mash together avocado and mayonnaise in a small bowl with a fork. Rub blackening (or Cajun) seasoning on both sides of salmon. Grill until just cooked through, about 3 to 4 minutes per side. To assemble the sandwiches, spread the avocado mixture on the bottom halves of each roll. Top with the salmon, arugula, tomato and onion.
******************************* Grilled Stuffed Pizza Burgers
TOTAL TIME 35 Min SERVINGS 6
INGREDIENTS
2 lb lean (at least 80%) ground beef 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 cup chopped pepperoni (about 1 oz) 2 tablespoons sliced ripe olives 1/2 cup pizza sauce 6 slices (3/4 oz each) mozzarella cheese, cut in half diagonally 6 burger buns, split, toasted 6 leaves lettuce
1 Heat gas or charcoal grill. In large bowl, mix ground beef and salt. Shape mixture into 12 thin patties, each about 4 inches in diameter. 2 In small bowl, mix pepperoni, olives and 1/3 cup of the pizza sauce. Spoon rounded tablespoon pepperoni mixture onto center of 6 patties; spread slightly. Top with remaining patties; press edges together firmly to seal. 3 Place patties on grill; cover grill. Cook with medium heat 8 to 12 minutes, turning once, until thermometer inserted in center of patties reads 160°F (avoid inserting in filling). During last 1 to 2 minutes of cooking time, top each patty with cheese and rounded teaspoon of remaining pizza sauce, and place buns, cut side down, on grill; cook until cheese is melted and buns are lightly toasted. 4 To serve, place lettuce and patties in bottom halves of buns. Cover with top halves of buns.
Expert Tips Spread pepperoni mixture within 1/2 inch of edge of patty. Top with second patty. Press edges well to seal.
******************************* Grilled Mushroom Swiss Burger
Mushroom provides a simple addition to a hearty beef burger that's ready in 35 minutes - perfect for dinner.
PREP TIME 35 Min TOTAL TIME 35 Min SERVINGS 6 INGREDIENTS
2 tablespoons butter 1 package (8 oz) sliced fresh mushrooms 3 tablespoons soy sauce 3 large garlic cloves, sliced or finely chopped 1 1/2 lb lean (at least 80%) ground beef 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon pepper 6 slices Swiss cheese 6 burger buns, split 2 medium tomatoes, sliced 1 medium onion, sliced
1 Heat gas or charcoal grill to medium heat. 2 In 12-inch nonstick skillet, melt butter over medium-high heat. Add mushrooms, soy sauce and garlic; cook until mushrooms are tender and liquid evaporates. Set aside; keep warm. 3 Shape beef into 6 (1/2 inch thick) patties. Sprinkle with garlic powder, salt and pepper. Place patties on grill; cover grill. Cook with medium heat 8 to 10 minutes, turning once, until meat thermometer inserted in center of patties reads 160°F. Place cheese slices on top of burgers; cover and cook 1 to 2 minutes longer or until cheese is melted. 4 Place burgers in buns. Divide cooked mushrooms evenly over burgers. Top with tomatoes and onion.
Expert Tips Grilled burger and fresh mushrooms sautéed in soy sauce, butter and garlic—this is one of the best tasting grilled burgers I have ever eaten. So, fire up the grill and give it a try. I am sure it will be one of your favorites, too.
******************************* Grilled Pepper Steak with Honey Onions (Gluten Free)
Wishing for more flavor when you grill? Try a rub that's fast and flavorul and will have others asking how you did it.
PREP TIME 40 Min TOTAL TIME 40 Min SERVINGS 6
INGREDIENTS
Pepper Rub 2 tablespoons cracked peppercorns 1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme leaves 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1 teaspoon garlic salt
Steak and Onions 1 tablespoon olive or vegetable oil 6 beef t-bone or rib eye steaks, 3/4 to 1 inch thick (about 3 pounds) 3 medium onions, cut into 1/2-inch slices 2 tablespoons honey
1Heat coals or gas grill for direct heat. Mix all Pepper Rub ingredients. Lightly brush half of the oil on both sides of beef. Press rub mixture onto both sides of beef. Let stand 15 minutes. 2Lightly brush remaining oil on onion slices. Cover and grill beef and onions 4 to 5 inches from medium-high heat 10 to 12 minutes, turning once, until beef is medium doneness. 3Brush honey on onions. Serve onions with beef.
Expert Tips Add a subtle splash of color and flavor by sprinkling a bit of dried thyme on the onions while they're grilling.
Always read labels to make sure each recipe ingredient is gluten free. Products and ingredient sources can change.
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American Sponge Cake:
6 large eggs, separated 1 cup (200 grams) granulated white sugar, divided 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1 tablespoon water Zest of 1 medium lemon 1 cup (100 grams) sifted cake flour 3/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
Whipped Cream: 1 cup (240 ml) heavy whipping cream 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1 tablespoon (15 grams) granulated white sugar Fresh Berries
Note: Cream of tartar is used when whipping egg whites to stabilize them, and to prevent over beating and the whites drying out.
DIRECTIONS: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (177 degrees C) and place rack in center of oven. Have ready an ungreased two-piece 10 inch (25 cm) tube pan. Separate the eggs while they are still cold, and cover the whites and yolks with plastic wrap to prevent a film from forming on the egg yolks and the whites from drying out. Let the yolks and whites reach room temperature before using (this will take about 30 minutes). (Having the yolks and whites at room temperature will ensure that the eggs reach their full volume when beaten.) Meanwhile sift and measure the cake flour and then whisk the flour with 1/4 cup (50 grams) of granulated white sugar. Measure another 1/4 cup (50 grams) of granulated white sugar and set aside for beating with the egg whites. Place the final 1/2 cup (100 grams) of granulated white sugar in your electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (or use a hand mixer). Add the egg yolks and beat on high speed for about five minutes, or until they are thick, fluffy and light colored (when you slowly raise the beaters the batter will fall back into the bowl in a slow ribbon). At this point beat in the vanilla extract, water, and lemon zest. Sift the flour/sugar mixture over the batter but do not fold in. (You will fold the flour mixture into the batter along with the beaten egg whites.) In a clean bowl, with the whisk attachment, whip the egg whites until foamy. Add the cream of tartar and continue beating until soft peaks form. Gradually add the 1/4 cup (50 grams) of granulated white sugar and continue beating until the egg whites are shiny and stiff peaks form. Gently fold a little of the whites into the batter to lighten it, and then add the rest of the whites, folding just until incorporated. Do not over mix or you will deflate the batter. Pour the batter into the tube pan, evenly spreading the cake batter with your spatula. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 - 35 minutes or until lightly browned and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Remove from oven and immediately invert. If your tube pan does not have feet then place on top of a bottle or bowl. Cool for at least one hour before unmolding. Run a spatula or sharp knife around the inside of the pan and then remove the center core of the pan. Then run the spatula or knife along the bottom and center core of the pan. Invert the cake onto a greased wire rack. At this point the cake can be served plain with a dusting of confectioners (powdered or icing) sugar or with fresh fruit and softly whipped cream.
For Whipped Cream: In a large mixing bowl place the whipping cream, vanilla extract, and sugar and stir to combine. Cover and chill the bowl and beaters in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes. When chilled, beat the mixture until stiff peaks form. The cake can be stored in the refrigerator in an airtight container for a few days. This cake is best the day it is made.
******************************* A woman was getting married. She entered the church wearing a black wedding gown that surprised everyone.
The pastor was a bit annoyed and asked her, "Why are you dressed up in black?"
The woman replied, "Well, that's because I'm not a virgin."
******************************* Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred eighty pounds, was thrown from his seat when the Southern Railway train he was riding derailed. The giant teenager flew a dozen feet through the air before hitting headfirst against a steel partition. For a moment Dilmer lay dazed, rubbing his head. The conductor came by and kneeled down beside him. "Don't move!" said the conductor. "We've called an ambulance." "Naw," said the boy, getting to his feet. "I ain't hurt so bad. That steel wall musta broke my fall!"
******************************* A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess hall read: "Don't Waste Food -- Food Will Win the War." Beneath these words someone had scrawled: "That's fine, but how do we get the enemy to eat here?" *******************************
A sad time in our history for all the good times we had
Roy Rogers MUSEUM CLOSED FOREVER
The end of this era makes me sad, but it certainly brought back some wonderful memories of those times for me! Another part of our history of growing up - gone forever... Museum Closed Forever The Roy Rogers Museum has closed its doors forever. Here is a partial listing of some of the items that were sold at auction. Roy 's 1964 Bonneville sold for $254,500, it was estimated to sell between 100 and 150 thousand dollars. His script book from the January 14,1953 episode of This Is Your Life sold for $10,000 (est. $800-$1,000) A collection of signed baseballs (Pete Rose, Duke Snyder and other greats) sold for $3,750 A collection of signed bats (Yogi Berra, Enos Slaughter, Bob Feller, and others) sold for $2,750. Trigger's saddle and bridle sold for $386,500 (est. 100-150 K) One of many of Roy 's shirts sold for $16,250 and one of his many cowboy hats sold for $17,500.
One set of boot spurs sold for $10,625. (He never used a set of spurs on Trigger.) A life size shooting gallery sold for $27,500. Various chandeliers sold from $6,875 to $20,000. They are unique and artistic in their western style. A signed photograph by Don Larsen taken during his perfect game in the world series against the Dodgers on Oct. 8, 1953, along with a signed baseball to Roy from Don, sold for $2,500 Two fabulous limited edition BB guns in their original boxes with numerous photos of Roy, Dale, Gabby, and Pat sold for $3,750. A collection of memorabilia from his shows entertaining the troops in Vietnam sold for $938. I never knew he was there. His flight jacket sold for $7,500. His set of dinner ware plates and silverware sold for $11,875. The Bible they used at the dinner table every night sold for $8,750. One of several of his guitars sold for $27,500. Nellybelle sold for $116,500. A fabulous painting of Roy , Dale, Pat, Buttermilk, Trigger, and Bullet sold for $10,625. One of several sets of movie posters sold for $18,750. A black and white photograph of Gene Autry with a touching inscription from Gene to Roy sold for $17,500. A Republic Productions Poster bearing many autographs of the people that played in Roy 's movies sold for $11,875. Dale's horse, Buttermilk (whose history is very interesting) sold below the presale estimate for $25,000. (est. 30-40 K) Bullet sold for $35,000 (est. 10-15 K). He was their real pet. Dale's parade saddle, estimated to sell between 20-30 K, sold for $104,500. One of many pairs of Roy 's boots sold for $21,250. Trigger sold for $266,500. Do you remember the 1938 movie The Adventures of Robinhood with Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland? Well Olivia rode Trigger in that movie. Trigger was bred on a farm co-owned by Bing Crosby. Roy bought Trigger on a time payment plan for $2,500. Roy and Trigger made 188 movies together. Trigger even out did Bob Hope by winning an Oscar in the movie Son of Paleface in 1953. It is extremely sad to see this era lost forever. Despite the fact that Gene and Roy 's movies, as well as those of other great characters, can be bought or rented for viewing, today's kids would rather spend their time playing video games. Today it takes a very special pair of parents to raise their kids with the right values and morals. These were the great heroes of our childhood, and they did teach us right from wrong, and how to have and show respect for each other and the animals that share this earth. You and I were born at the right time. We were able to grow up with these great people even if we never met them. In their own way they taught us patriotism and honor, we learned that lying and cheating were bad, and sex wasn't as important as love. We learned how to suffer through disappointment and failure and work through it. So it's good-bye to Roy and Dale, Gene and Hoppy, The Lone Ranger and Tonto. Farewell to Sky King and Superman and Sgt. Friday. Thanks to Capt. Kangaroo, Mr. Rogers and Capt. Noah and all those people whose lives touched ours, and made them better. It was a great ride through childhood. THOSE WERE THE DAYS, MY FRIENDS! A time in history, never to be seen again, but what a ride it was...HAPPY TRAILS TO YOU!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Revelation 6:15
(15) And the kings of the earth, the great men, the rich men, the commanders, the mighty men, every slave and every free man, hid themselves in the caves and in the rocks of the mountains, The effect of these cosmic signs from God is to produce terror in earth's populace, triggering humanity's strong drive to preserve itself. Despite mountains moving, men and women of every origin, status, and creed—from king to slave—flee for the caves under the mountains in a vain attempt to hide themselves from God (Revelation 6:15). This is reminiscent of Isaiah 2:19, a prophecy of the Day of the Lord: "They shall go into the holes of the rocks, and into the caves of the earth, from the terror of the LORD and the glory of His majesty, when He arises to shake the earth mightily." John sees these fearful people speaking to the mountains and rocks, commanding them to hide them from the sight of God the Father and from the "wrath of the Lamb" (verse 16). Their cry, "Fall on us!" is not a death wish or a suicidal means to avoid God's judgment but a hope that the mountains will cover and conceal them. "Fall on us and hide us" is typical Hebrew parallelism, as can be seen from an Old Testament parallel in which Israelites "shall say to the mountains, 'Cover us!' and to the hills, 'Fall on us!'" (Hosea 10:8). It is somewhat startling that earth's sinners correctly identify these catastrophic events as evidences of God's wrath. We are used to them being termed "natural disasters" and in no way a result of God's intervention in humanity's affairs. Yet, this time, these cataclysmic signs are indeed "acts of God," and men know it. Such a succession of disturbances can be nothing other than divine anger. Further, people seek to be "out of sight, out of mind" to both the Father—"Him who sits on the throne" (Revelation 6:16)—and the Lamb, Jesus Christ. Often, the phrase "face of Him," "face of God," or "face of the LORD" suggests being in His presence (Genesis 33:10; I Samuel 26:20; II Chronicles 7:14; Lamentations 2:19; Luke 1:76). However, it can also imply being under the judgment of an angry God (see Leviticus 26:17; Psalm 34:16; Jeremiah 44:11; Lamentations 4:16; also Amos 9:4). Obviously, the latter idea fits this instance. Initially, it seems incongruous to pair "wrath" with "of the Lamb," but it makes perfect sense on two levels. First, "Lamb" is only one title of this complex Individual, Jesus Christ, who is not a cute, cuddly, little lamb. As the Johnny Cash song, "A Boy Named Sue," relates, a person's name cannot describe his entire personality, and one may rue the day he made the assumption it could! The same Jesus Christ who took little children in His arms and blessed them also made a whip of cords and angrily drove the moneychangers from God's Temple. Second, as it pertains to Christ, the lamb represents a sacrificial Redeemer, One who gave His life to buy back others who had been enslaved. The meaning of the symbol contemplates, not only the force of character it would take to perform such a selfless act, but also the position of mastery to which it elevated Him due to its success. In other words, the imagery of the lamb contains both the Suffering Servant and the Exalted Lord and Judge of all (John 5:22).
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WORD FOR THE DAY:
irrefragable • ih-REF-ruh-guh-bul • adjective 1 : impossible to refute 2 : impossible to break or alter
Examples: In his opening statement, the prosecutor told the jury that he would be providing them with irrefragable proof that the defendant had committed the crime.
"It is an irrefragable truth that each human life has its special needs and unique giftedness." -- From an opinion column by Ramnath Subramanian in the El Paso Times, June 2, 2011
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You might be a REDNECK if... ...you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
THINGS TO PONDER: Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
******************************* How to Store Tomatoes (Long Term) A bounty of homegrown tomatoes or a gift of a purchase from the farmer's market can leave you with a glut of wonderful fresh tomatoes. Rather than eat nothing but tomato sauce and salads for the next week, consider storing some of your tomato bounty long term for use in cooking. Just be sure to enjoy the rest of the tomatoes in salads, sandwiches and on bruschetta because this method only leaves tomatoes suitable for cooking.
Steps
1Choose the tomatoes you'll be storing long term. Avoid any that are mildewed or rotten. Wash the tomatoes to clean them. Remove the stems and any bad bits. Choose the tomatoes you'll be storing long term.
2Cut the tomatoes into 1/2 inch (1cm) cubes. Alternatively, you can lightly process the tomatoes in a blender. Cut the tomatoes into 1/2 inch (1cm) cubes.
3Place the cubes of tomatoes (or blended tomatoes) into a large saucepan. Bring the tomatoes to the boil. Place the cubes of tomatoes (or blended tomatoes) into a large saucepan.
4Simmer the tomato mixture gently for at least 10-15 minutes. Simmer the tomato mixture gently for at least 10-15 minutes.
5Prepare the storage containers. Sterilize preserving jars or bottles using hot water. Do not attempt to dry the jars with any cloth or paper. Prepare the storage containers.
6Add the tomatoes. While the tomato mixture is still simmering, fill each of the hot jars to overflowing with the mixture. Add the tomatoes.
7Place the lids securely on the filled jars. Place the jars somewhere out of the way of other kitchen activity to cool. Provided you've used the correct type of jar, a seal should form. Once sealed, the tomatoes will keep out of the fridge almost indefinitely. Place the lids securely on the filled jars.
Tips
You can buy special preserving jars, but it is also fine to reuse jam or chutney jars. If the lid of a commercial brand has a button that "pops" up when you open it, you should be able to use it; you'll see this pop-up part pull down so that the lid sits flat if the seal has taken properly. See "Warnings" below though. If you'd rather freeze the glut of tomatoes, they can be put in the freezer whole – no special processing is needed but again, these will only be good for cooking when removed and it's best to add them to a dish you're cooking straight from the freezer rather than thawing them.
Warnings
Be careful when you're working with hot jars as you might burn yourself. Wear gloves or use a tea towel to grip the jars when filling them. If the lid does not "pop" down when cooling, there is no air tight seal and the contents will spoil. The contents of such a jar will either need to be placed in a jar that does work or they will need to be stored in the fridge and consumed within the week. Do not put hot contents into cold jars; the jars will crack. This is the reason for pouring hot water into them when preparing them.
Things You'll Need
Saucepan Mixing spoon Preserving jars Tea towel Hot water
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Pull-apart Honey Pecan Coffeecake Active Time: 35 Minutes Total Time: 14 Hours 45 Minutes Yield: Serves 8
With the use of the dough hook, the ingredients are quickly put together for an overnight rise. A little assembly in the morning is rewarded with a wonderfully sticky, pull-apart bread. INGREDIENTS For the Dough: 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter 1 cup whole milk 1/3 cup lukewarm water (105 to 115 degrees F) One 1/4-ounce package dry yeast (2 1/4 teaspoons) 1/3 cup sugar 2 large eggs 1 teaspoon salt 4 1/4 cups (or more) all-purpose flour
For the Coffeecake: Nonstick vegetable oil cooking spray 1 cup toasted chopped pecans 1 1/4 cups firmly packed golden brown sugar 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, melted 5 tablespoons honey DIRECTIONS FOR THE DOUGH: Melt butter in heavy small saucepan over medium-low heat. Remove from heat; add milk. Let mixture stand until cooled to at least 110 degrees F. Meanwhile, combine water and yeast in large bowl of heavy-duty stand mixer; let stand until yeast dissolves, about 5 minutes. Add milk mixture, sugar, eggs and salt. Using dough hook, mix on high speed until eggs are blended. Gradually mix in 4 1/4 cups flour. Continue kneading on medium speed until dough is smooth and pulls away from sides of bowl, adding more flour if necessary, about 5 minutes. Remove dough from bowl; form into ball. Sprinkle some flour into bottom of mixing bowl; return dough to bowl. Cover and chill overnight.
FOR THE COFFEECAKE: Spray 10-inch-diameter angel food cake pan with nonstick spray. Sprinkle pecans evenly over bottom of pan. Punch dough down. Roll out dough on lightly floured work surface to 10-inch square. Cut dough into five 2-inch-wide strips. Cut each strip into five 2-inch squares, creating 25 pieces total. Combine brown sugar and cinnamon in medium bowl. Dip each dough piece into melted butter, then into brown sugar mixture, coating each piece evenly. Transfer each piece to waxed paper-lined baking sheet. Combine all remaining melted butter (about 2 tablespoons) with all remaining brown sugar mixture (2 to 3 tablespoons). Stir 3 tablespoons honey into brown sugar mixture. Pour honey mixture evenly over pecans in pan. Arrange dough pieces atop pecans, spacing evenly and creating two layers. Drizzle dough with remaining 3 tablespoons honey. Let rise in warm draft-free area until almost doubled, about 1 hour 15 minutes. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Bake coffeecake until golden brown, about 55 minutes. Cool on rack 10 minutes. Turn coffeecake out onto platter. Serve warm or at room temperature.
******************************* Baked Peach Pancakes INGREDIENTS 4 eggs 2 tablespoons sugar 1 1/2 cups milk 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 cups flour 4-5 medium peaches, peeled and sliced 4 tablespoons butter 1/2 cup sugar mixed with 1 tablespoon cinnamon 1/4 cup brown sugar
DIRECTIONS Beat eggs and add sugar, milk, oil and salt. Add flour and mix well. Let stand for 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Butter two 9 inch round cake pans and sprinkle with some of the cinnamon sugar mixture. Arrange peach slices on pans and sprinkle with remaining cinnamon sugar and brown sugar. Dot with butter. Pour batter over peaches and bake 30-35 minutes until top is golden.
******************************* Lemon-Blueberry Muffins
Active Time: 15 Minutes Total Time: 45 Minutes Bake a lighter, low-calorie muffin.
INGREDIENTS 1 cup blueberries, picked over, washed or use frozen blueberries well drained 2 tsp. baking powder 3/4 cup low-fat 1.5 yogurt 1 tbsps. grated lemon zest 1 3/4 cups sifted all-purpose flour 2/3 c. sugar 2 eggs, well beaten 1/4 c. melted butter or canola 1/4 c. lemon juice DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 400o. Insert paper liners in muffin tins or grease lightly with vegetable shortening. Spread blueberries on paper towels to blot up water. Sift flour with sugar and baking powder into mixing bowl. In second bowl, beat eggs well; beat in yogurt, melted butter, lemon zest and juice. Stir into dry ingredients only to mix; batter should be lumpy. Fold in berries. DO NOT OVERMIX OR MUFFINS WILL BE TOUGH. Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until tops are rounded and browned. Immediately loosen muyffins with spatula. Serve hot or cool on rack. Freeze in single layer on baking sheet. Store in resealable plastic bag. Makes 12 medium muffins.
******************************* Strawberry Stuffed French Toast
INGREDIENTS 8oz Ricotta Cheese 8 oz Cream Cheese 1 jar strawberry ice cream topping 1 loaf sour dough bread, sliced thick 3 eggs ½ cup milk 1 tsp cinnamon sugar mixture ½ stick butter fresh strawberries for topping (optional)
DIRECTIONS
Combine ricotta and cream cheese until smooth. Add the powdered sugar and ¼ cup ice cream topping. Set aside. Mix together ,in a small bowl, the cinnamon/sugar, milk, and eggs. Set aside. Spread each slice of bread with about 3 Tbsp of the strawberry cheese mixture. Press two slices together (strawberry filling facing each other)to form a sandwich. Dip the entire sandwich, quickly, into the milk and egg mixture. Heat half the butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat until melted. Carefully, add the French toast. Cook until lightly brown on each side, about 3-5 minutes. Remove to plate and let cool slightly. If desired, you may top the French toast with more strawberry ice cream topping and powdered sugar.
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Potato Cinnamon Rolls with Sugar Glaze Active Time: 30 Minutes Total Time: 10 Hours Yield: Makes 12 rolls
While the addition of mashed potatoes to these rolls may seem surprising, it actually makes a lot of sense. Yeast loves the starch in potatoes and reacts with it beautifully to produce fluffy, tender rolls. These cinnamon rolls are baked in an oversized muffin tin and rise up into plump, spiraled mushrooms. If you don't have the pan, you can place them 2-inches apart on a parchment-lined baking sheet, but they will look very different.
INGREDIENTS
For the Dough: 1/3 cup instant mashed potatoes 1/2 cup boiling water 1 cup buttermilk 2 large eggs 6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) butter, softened cut into pieces 1/4 cup sugar 3/4 teaspoons salt 3 1/2 cups bread flour 2 teaspoons bread machine yeast or 1 1/2 teaspoons SAF instant yeast
For the Rolls: 3/4 cup (packed) golden brown sugar 1/4 cup granulated sugar 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, softened 2/3 cup pecan pieces
Sugar Glaze DIRECTIONS
FOR THE DOUGH: Line large baking sheet with parchment paper; sprinkle lightly with flour. Stir instant mashed potatoes and boiling water in small bowl until thickened. Cool until warm, about 10 minutes. Place potato mixture and all remaining dough ingredients in bread machine pan in order listed. Program machine for Dough Cycle; press Start. Transfer prepared dough to baking sheet (dough will be very soft, almost sticky, yet smooth and springy). Pat dough into thick rectangle. Cover with two layers of plastic wrap; refrigerate 6 hours to overnight. Check once and press dough down to deflate.
FOR THE ROLLS: Butter sides and bottoms of two 6-cup giant muffin pans. Combine sugars and cinnamon in small bowl; set aside. Let dough stand on counter 20 minutes. Press dough down to deflate. Transfer dough to lightly floured work surface. Roll out dough to 18x12-inch rectangle. Spread softened butter evenly over dough, leaving 1-inch border around edges. Sprinkle with cinnamon-sugar and pecans; press in pecans with fingers. Starting at one long side, roll dough jelly-roll style forming log. Pinch seam to seal. Trim ends. Cut log crosswise into twelve 1-inch-thick pieces. Arrange slices cut side down in prepared muffin cups. Cover loosely with plastic.
DO-AHEAD TIP: At this point, rolls can be made up to 1 day ahead. Cover tightly with double-layer of plastic wrap and refrigerate. Loosen plastic wrap before proceeding. Let loosely covered rolls rise at room temperature until puffy, about 1 hour and 15 minutes (or 1 hour and 30 minutes for refrigerated rolls). Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 375 degrees F 20 minutes before baking. Bake rolls until tops are dark brown and filling bubbles, about 18 minutes. Transfer pans to wire racks. Cool until warm, about 25 minutes. Remove rolls from pans. Drizzle with Sugar Glaze. Serve warm or at room temperature.
DO-AHEAD TIP: Finished rolls can be made up to 1 month ahead. Cool completely. Enclose each roll in plastic sandwich-size freezer bag and freeze.
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Cinnamon Swirl Coffee Cake Active Time: 10 Minutes Total Time: 50 Minutes Yield: Makes 9 servings
This is quick enough to make for the family on the spur of the moment, and elegant enough for a company brunch. Its nutty flavor doesn't come from nuts themselves, but from nutlike cereal nuggets (Grape-Nuts), sprinkled on top to add fiber but hardly any fat. If your family loves spice as much as mine, double the topping mixture.
INGREDIENTS Nonstick canola oil spray
For Cake: 1 1/2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (spoon into measuring cup and level top) 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/8 teaspoon salt 3/4 cup sugar 2/3 cup 1% low-fat milk 1/2 cup water 2 tablespoons canola oil 1 large egg
For Topping: 2 tablespoons unsweetened applesauce 2 teaspoons sugar 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 2 tablespoons Grape-Nuts cereal
DIRECTIONS Position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Lightly spray a nonstick 8-inch square baking pan with oil.
TO MAKE CAKE: In a medium bowl, whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt until well combined. Set aside. In another medium bowl, using a handheld electric mixer set at high speed, beat the sugar, milk, water, oil, and egg until frothy, about 2 minutes. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the mixture. Using a spoon, stir just until combined (the batter will be a little lumpy, but that's okay). Do not overmix. Turn into the prepared pan.
TO MAKE TOPPING: In a small bowl, combine the applesauce, sugar, and cinnamon. Drop by heaping teaspoons onto the batter. Swirl a knife back and forth through the batter. Sprinkle the Grape-Nuts over the top.
Bake until the top of the cake sprigs back when gently touched in the center and the sides pull away from the pan, 30 to 35 minutes. Do not overbake. Cool in the pan on a wire cake rack for 10 minutes. Serve warm, or cool completely in the pan on a wire cake rack.
******************************* It Doesn't Matter If It's Leaking
A ferry boat was once crossing a river. Suddenly the boat struck a rock and water relentlessly poured into the cabin. The passengers were frightened out of their wits. Only one man sat calmly as if nothing had happened and even laughed at the way the others were so alarmed.
"Don't worry! It's not our problem," the man said. "It doesn't matter if it's leaking because it's not our boat."
******************************* Jail
A white guy, a Chinese guy, and a Hispanic guy are breaking out of jail. They get all the way to the top of a hill, and at the bottom there is a barbed wired fence. The white guy says, 'O.k. whatever happens when you hit the ground DON'T SCREAM!'
The white guy goes first, he breaks a leg, doesn't scream.
The Chinese guy goes he breaks a arm, doesn't scream.
Then the Hispanic guy goes, and screams his head off! The other two ask him why he screamed so he points at the fence and says, 'Looky, looky, balls on hooky.'
******************************* Japanese Banking Crisis
Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is going for a song.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
******************************* Japanese Man's Sign For Sex
After nights of frustrating attempts of trying to seduce his wife, the Japanese man finally made a proposition to his wife.
"If you want to have sex with me, let me know by pulling on my penis one time."
"If you are not in the mood and do not want to have sex with me, let me know by pulling on my penis 100 times!" ******************************* Japanese Work Ethic
This is an original quote from Dr. Hiroshi Sagahura a genetic researcher in Oregon and current Japanese citizen. It was passed along by a friend who works with him.
The American people shouldn't be so offended when the Japanese say they have a bad work ethic. During World War II, many Japanese pilots decided it was too much work to fly home and thus never even tried returning to Japan.
******************************* Judicial Clerk
A judicial clerk in a small and far-flung provincial court had to translate, from Tagalog to English, the following passage uttered by a witness:
"Pagkatapos ng kung ano-ano ay nagdatingan ang kung sino-sino!"
Confidently and simply, the clerk wrote:
"After the what-what came the who-who!" ******************************* Kake De Hotel
A well dressed man was having a dinner in "Kake Da Hotel". After he finished his dinner, he started to wash his hands with table and chair. The owner saw him and got real angry and asked, "Have you had dinner in some nice hotel before?"
Man: "Ya!" "I had dinner once in Ashoka Hotel."
Owner: "There also, you washed your hands with table and chair?"
Man: "Yes, I did."
Owner: "Nobody told you anything!"
Man: "They kicked me and said 'agar ase hi karna hai to kisi Kake Da Hotel mae jake khana khaa'.
*******************************
Kung Fu
Two kung-fu masters were carrying on about their respective skills. "Why, my reflexes are such that you will not believe," boasted Master Foo and drawing his sword, he sliced at a passing fly, which promptly dropped dead in two pieces.
"That's nothing," said Master Koh. Drawing his sword, he made two deft cuts at another passing fly.
Master Foo was highly amused. "What are you talking about?" he sneered. "That fly is still flying."
"Ah yes," replied Master Koh, "but now it can never have children."
***********************************
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Draining the Pain of Hurt Feelings
Job, the great sufferer in the Bible said, "Even now my witness is in heaven. My advocate is there on high. My friends scorn me, but I pour out my tears to God."1 A Daily Encounter reader who has been hurt deeply asks, "Do you have any insight into dealing with the strong emotions that arise from being deeply hurt and wounded? Dear Fred (not his real name), one way you can help "drain the pain" of hurt feelings is to write out your feelings. David did this in several of his Psalms. I think he was a man after God's own heart—not because of his behavior—but because of his being open and honest with himself and with God. When you write, write as if you are writing a letter to the one who hurt you. Express all your feelings in all their intensity to this person. Then read the letter to God telling him that this is exactly the way you feel (he knows it anyhow)—then tear up the letter and destroy it. Write again and again doing the same thing until all your hurt and angry feelings are dissipated. But never, never, never send one of these letters to anybody. At a later time, should you feel a need to write or contact the person in question, remember always to write and speak the truth in love—never in blaming anger. God also gave us tears to help drain the pain of hurt feelings. So give yourself permission to weep with all your heart. The fact is, until we have learned to weep with all our heart, we are not free to love with all our heart. Tears, however, are for expressing grief … not anger. Anger needs to be expressed in writing, verbalized, or both. Also, everyone needs at least one person he/she can trust implicitly with whom to share his/her feelings. It needs to be an understanding and caring person, who listens and accepts us with all our hurt and angry feelings, but won't give us advice, preach at us, or tell us what we should or shouldn't do or feel. And, if necessary, have several sessions with a qualified Christian counselor to help you work through and resolve your feelings. And of course be sure to tell God exactly how you feel and to lead you to the help you need to resolve your hurt and angry feelings so you can get to a point of genuine forgiveness. Failing to forgive will only hurt you. It's "like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you always understand what I am feeling and will always accept me when I openly and honestly confess and share my feelings with you no matter what those feelings are. Help me always to be honest with myself and with you and please help me find a faithful friend with whom I can feel safe to be open and honest—a friend who will always love and accept me no matter how I feel. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Psalm 119:130 “The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.â€
*********************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
paradise • PAIR-uh-dyce • noun
1 a : the garden where according to the Bible Adam and Eve first lived : Eden b : an intermediate place or state where the souls of the righteous await resurrection and the final judgment c : the dwelling place of God and of the blessed dead : Heaven
2: a place or state of bliss, felicity, or delight
Examples: With its shallow outfields, the new ballpark is a batter's paradise.
"Santa Rosa County could be considered nature's playground -- a paradise filled with unique things to see and do." -- From an article by Clairen Reese in Pensacola News Journal, July 6, 2011
*******************************
W. C. Fields "Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
Pablo Picasso "I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money."
Jerry Lewis "I've had great success being a total idiot."
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind. –Jack Handey
*********************************
5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do
For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.) There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:
FIRST Emergency
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find Yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to Establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.
SECOND Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'
THIRD Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys * 3370#.Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.
FOURTH How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#.A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.
If your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
And Finally.....
FIFTH Free Directory Service for Cells
Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to.. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800)FREE411, or (8 00) 373-3411without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.
This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends
********************************* Oregon Salmon Patties
Prep Time:10 Min Cook Time:15 Min Ready In:25 Min
Yield 5 patties
Ingredients
1 (14.75 ounce) can salmon 2 tablespoons butter 1 medium onion, chopped 2/3 cup cracker crumbs 2 eggs, beaten 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley 1 teaspoon dry mustard 3 tablespoons shortening Directions
Drain the salmon, reserving 3/4 cup of the liquid. Flake the meat. Melt butter in a large skillet over medium- high heat. Add onion, and cook until tender. In a medium bowl, combine the onions with the reserved salmon liquid, 1/3 of the cracker crumbs, eggs, parsley, mustard and salmon. Mix until well blended, then shape into six patties. Coat patties in remaining cracker crumbs. Melt shortening in a large skillet over medium heat. Cook patties until browned, then carefully turn and brown on the other side.
********************************* Grilled Chicken Breasts with Cucumber-Peach Salsa
A brush of peach preserves pumps up the flavor of grilled chicken breasts. The fruit and veggie salsa is a delicious bonus.
PREP TIME 30 Min TOTAL TIME 30 Min SERVINGS 4
INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup chopped cucumber 1/3 cup peach preserves 1 tablespoon chopped fresh mint leaves or 1 teaspoon dried mint flakes 1/4 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons chopped red onion 1 peach or nectarine, peeled, chopped (3/4 cup) 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 1 1/4 lb)
1 Heat gas or charcoal grill. In small bowl, mix cucumber, 2 tablespoons of the preserves, the mint, salt, onion and peach; set aside. 2 Carefully spray grill rack with cooking spray. Place chicken on grill. Cover grill; cook over medium heat 10 to 15 minutes, turning and brushing 2 or 3 times with remaining peach preserves, until juice of chicken is clear when center of thickest part is cut (170°F). Discard any remaining preserves. Serve chicken with salsa.
Expert Tips The salsa can be made up to 24 hours in advance and refrigerated. Making it ahead will actually allow the flavors to blend. If you're using a charcoal grill, plan on about 40 minutes to prep the grill and heat charcoal to the correct temperature. Gas and electric grills will take about 10 minutes. Serve this fruity chicken dish with steamed broccoli, sliced garden-fresh tomatoes and seasoned rice.
******************************* Peach Cobbler
Just like Grandma used to make! Tender biscuits top a bubbly peach filling.
PREP TIME 25 Min TOTAL TIME 50 Min SERVINGS 6 INGREDIENTS
1/3 cup sugar 1 tablespoon cornstarch 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon 6 peaches, peeled, cut into 1/2-inch slices (6 cups) 2 tablespoons water 2 teaspoons lemon juice 1 cup Original Bisquick mix 2 tablespoons sugar 1/3 cup milk 1 tablespoon butter or margarine, melted Sweetened whipped cream, if desired
1 Heat oven to 400°F. In 4-quart saucepan, mix 1/3 cup sugar, the cornstarch and cinnamon. Stir in peaches, water and lemon juice. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly; boil and stir 1 minute. Pour into ungreased 8- or 9-inch square (2-quart) glass baking dish. 2 In medium bowl, stir Bisquick mix, 1 tablespoon of the sugar, the milk and melted butter until soft dough forms. 3 Drop dough by 6 tablespoonfuls onto hot peach mixture. Sprinkle remaining 1 tablespoon sugar over dough. 4 Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Serve with whipped cream.
Expert Tips Cobbler comes from "cobble up" which means to mix in a hurry. And what could be quicker than a cobbler made with Bisquick mix? You can substitute frozen peach slices, thawed, for the fresh peaches. ********************************* Grilled Chicken Breasts with Cucumber-Peach Salsa
A brush of peach preserves pumps up the flavor of grilled chicken breasts. The fruit and veggie salsa is a delicious bonus.
PREP TIME 30 Min TOTAL TIME 30 Min SERVINGS 4
INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup chopped cucumber 1/3 cup peach preserves 1 tablespoon chopped fresh mint leaves or 1 teaspoon dried mint flakes 1/4 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons chopped red onion 1 peach or nectarine, peeled, chopped (3/4 cup) 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 1 1/4 lb)
1 Heat gas or charcoal grill. In small bowl, mix cucumber, 2 tablespoons of the preserves, the mint, salt, onion and peach; set aside. 2 Carefully spray grill rack with cooking spray. Place chicken on grill. Cover grill; cook over medium heat 10 to 15 minutes, turning and brushing 2 or 3 times with remaining peach preserves, until juice of chicken is clear when center of thickest part is cut (170°F). Discard any remaining preserves. Serve chicken with salsa.
Expert Tips The salsa can be made up to 24 hours in advance and refrigerated. Making it ahead will actually allow the flavors to blend. If you're using a charcoal grill, plan on about 40 minutes to prep the grill and heat charcoal to the correct temperature. Gas and electric grills will take about 10 minutes. Serve this fruity chicken dish with steamed broccoli, sliced garden-fresh tomatoes and seasoned rice.
********************************* Peachy Mimosas
Peach nectar makes mimosas even more celebratory! Make them upon request in only 5 minutes.
PREP TIME 5 Min TOTAL TIME 5 Min SERVINGS 12
INGREDIENTS
2 cups orange juice, chilled 2 cups peach nectar, chilled 1 bottle (1 liter) regular or nonalcoholic dry champagne or sparkling wine, chilled
1 In 1 1/2-quart pitcher, mix orange juice and peach nectar. 2 Pour champagne into glasses until half full. Fill glasses with juice mixture.
Expert Tips Dip the rim of each champagne glass into water and then into sugar to frost.
**************************** Cajun Chicken Pasta
Makes 4 servings
Variety is the spice of life. This dish is loaded with ingredients that'll set your tastebuds on fire. It's not for the faint of heart. Use your noodle and bring out the raging Cajun in you. Ingredients
10 oz. cooked fettuccine 1 cup spicy Cajun pasta sauce 1 tbsp. Parmesan cheese 1 boneless chicken breast, cooked and sliced in strips 1 tsp. chopped parsley
Spicy Pasta Sauce 2 oz. olive oil 1 tbsp. fresh chopped garlic 1/2 cup of onions cut in large chunks 1/2 cup of green peppers, diced in large pieces 1/2 cup of red peppers, diced in large pieces 1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper 1 cup of chicken stock 1 cup V8 vegetable juice 2 tbsp. cold water 1 tbsp. cornstarch, mixed with cold water to thicken Salt and pepper
Methods/steps Heat oil in sauté pan. Add garlic and sauté for 30 seconds. Add onions, sauté one minute, then add peppers and continue to sauté another minute. Deglaze with chicken stock, reducing by half. Add V-8 juice and cayenne pepper. Bring to a boil and simmer for 10 minutes. Thicken with cornstarch to desired consistency; season with salt and pepper. Place pasta and spicy sauce in pan and heat until hot. Arrange in serving dish and top with chicken breast. Garnish with Parmesan cheese and parsley.
Additional Tips Ready in 30 min *******************************
Spelling Did you know:
That the words "race car" spelled backwards still spells "race car"?
That "eat" is the only word that, if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, spells its past tense "ate"?
And that if you spell straw backwards you'll get warts?
And if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants," and add just a few more letters, it spells: "Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, baby-making, violent, non-English-speaking assholes, and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, Camel-riding, goat-loving, raggedy-ass bastards with you".
How weird is that?
****************************** God of Target
A general who had gone out to battle was unable to stave off defeat when the God of the Target appeared to join his ranks and turned the tables on the enemy. Thereupon, the general kowtowed to the God and asked his name.
"I am the God of the Target."
"What have I done, my God, to deserve your assistance?"
"I've always been grateful to you," replied the God of the Target, " because in the old days when you were practicing archery on the drilling ground, you never once hit me with your arrows."
****************************** Hair Color
Erap was just elected president & one of the news reporters goes up to talk to him.
The reporter ask, "Oh congratulations on your victory as a president, now that your president do you plan to dye you hair?
Erap replied, "No my hair is always alive" hahahahah!!!
****************************** Happy Reading
Singh stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"
"Yes, sir?"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"
The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who took our phone book."
****************************** Having Cake
A man was very hungry, and went to buy cakes at a snack bar. When he finished a cake, he found he hadn't had enough, and so ate a second one. He felt so hungry that after eating six cakes in succession, he still hadn't satisfied his hunger. Not till the seventh cake was eaten up, did he feel satisfied. Then, suddenly, he had a feeling of regret.
"Ah, if I had known this before, I would have eaten the seventh cake first and that would have been enough and there would not have been any need to eat those six others."
****************************** Henpecked
There was a man who lived in great fear of his wife. Once he incurred the wrath of his wife, who by way of punishment, was going to squeeze his fingers between sticks.
"We have no sticks at home," said the man.
His wife consequently sent him over to their neighbor to borrow a pair. On his way out, the man was heard grumbling. At that his wife instantly called him back and asked:
"What the hell were you grumbling about?"
"Nothing," answered the man. "I was just saying we should have our own instruments of torture."
****************************** Invent A Luxury Car
If Filipinos invent a luxury car, what would it be?
It would be shape like a mango for aerodynamic. Its tires would be made of spartan tsinelas. The seat would be made of ratan. The engine would be a carabao. The body frame would be made of kawayan. The cover would be made of coconut leaves. The carpet would be banig. It is held together by abaca. There would be a star logo on the hood & the rear. The mirror would be graphite rock. The windshield would be air. The radio would be themselves.
****************************** ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS? The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..
Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness A.. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. ( OMG )
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
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