|
Viewing 271 - 279 out of 510 Blogs.
| Page:
|
|
|
|
|
31 |
|
|
|
|
|
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Psalm 10:13
(13) Why do the wicked renounce God? He has said in his heart, "You will not require an account." New King James Version
It is not a matter of them thinking God does not exist, but that they are denying Him. They do not want to believe that He is there. He has denied God by denying or renouncing what God says about Himself. God says plainly in many scriptures that He will judge for sin. This is what the Ten Commandments are about: They define sin for us. By them, we know what is good and what is not good, so we can come into judgment before Him without excuse. A reason Christ came was to qualify to be that Judge, to judge all at the last day. We, however, are going through our judgment right now. The wicked man has fooled himself into believing that God will not require an accounting for sin. He thinks God will not pass judgment on him; He will just let his sins slide. It sounds much like modern, antinomian Protestantism. It is, in effect, what the psalmist is talking about. He speaks of a normal, everyday Israelite who would supposedly know God. He had entered into the covenant by circumcision, and so he should know better. However, he has decided to ignore what God has said and lives his life as a practicing atheist. He is not really an atheist, because he believes there is a God, but he lives his life as if God did not exist. The wicked man here, then, could be somebody who professes Christ—a professing Christian—but his lifestyle betrays his real, inner conclusion that there is no God.
Psalm 119:165 “Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.â€
*************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
whirligig • WER-lih-gig • noun 1 : a child's toy having a whirling motion
2 a : one that continuously whirls or changes b : a whirling or circling course (as of events)
Examples: Sam was spinning in a financial whirligig; the more he earned the more he spent as he plunged deeper and deeper into debt.
"McKay said there will be family activities, including educational games such as playing with toys that would have amused children in colonial times…. Children can also make whirligigs and items to take home, McKay said." -- From an article in the Spartanburg Herald - Journal, June 30, 2011
***************************
William S. Burroughs "Silence is only frightening to people who are compulsively verbalizing."
Jack Benny "If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Laurence Sterne "For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies."
What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know. –Jack Handey
***************************
Protect Yourself From This Season's Colds How To Avoid Late-Summer Colds Just around the time the days start getting shorter and the evenings cooler, end of season colds catch up with us. But if you’re prepared, you can avoid the worst of it.
Why now? Well, schools open around this time and viruses spread among children in close contact. Then they hop over to us. And the viruses that give us colds tend to flourish in warm or hot weather.
So what can you do to avoid catching an late-summer or early autumn cold?
GET MOVING Activity keeps your blood circulating and your body strong so that it has energy to stand up to infections. Regular exercise also makes you thirsty and causes you to drink more water. When you exercise and drink the recommended amount of water, toxins are easily flushed out of the body and the immune system grows stronger.
WASH HANDS THOROUGHLY Cold and flu viruses are most commonly spread by direct contact, such as touching a telephone, remote control or key board that was just showered by a sneeze. Try this trick when washing your hands. Rub them together hard, and sing a simple song twice. “Happy Birthday†or “Summer Time†should do the trick. Rubbing them with soap and water breaks up the germs and singing provides the right amount of time needed for the washing action to do its job.
TAKE DAILY VITAMIN AND MINERAL SUPPLEMENTS If you know you don’t eat all the fresh fruits and vegetables you need for optimal nutrition and a healthy immune system, take a daily multivitamin to make up for it.
PROTECT YOUR EYES The eyes easily absorb viral particles. If someone with a cold or flu sneezes in your face, it’s more likely than not you will catch it. Glasses (prescription or sun glasses) can reduce the contagion.
And what if, despite your good efforts, you do catch a cold? Experts say treat it symptomatically. For example, if you have a runny nose, get cold and flu pills for those symptoms or nasal inhalers. And make sure you get plenty of rest.
Of course, see a doctor if your symptoms persist or worsen. ***************************
Campbell's Teriyaki Burgers
Everyone likes burgers, but these burgers are special...they have a delicious Asian-inspired flavor, they cook up easily in the skillet, and they're on the table in just 20 minutes.
Serves: 6 Prep. time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 15 1 1/2 lb. ground beef 1 can Campbell’s Condensed Beef Broth 1 tbsp. soy sauce 2 tsp. brown sugar 1/4 tsp. ground ginger 6 Pepperidge Farm Classic sandwich buns with sesame seeds, split
1.Shape the beef into 6 (1/2-inch thick) burgers.
2.Cook the burgers in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat until well browned on both sides. Pour off any fat.
3.Stir the broth, soy sauce, brown sugar and ginger in the skillet and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes for medium or to desired doneness. Serve the burgers and sauce on the buns.
*************************** “Can I use something other than beer to make grilled chicken on a can?" Cooking with beer adds both flavor and color depending on the dish you are making and the beer you are using. However, for grilling chicken on the can, you don’t actually have to use beer. There are plenty of canned beverages that will work well with this method of cooking. Try lemon-lime soda, cola or even apple or orange juice. You just need to make sure that the can is big enough to fit inside the bird and that the bird is light enough to sit up. A standard-size soda or beer can works great in a 3- to 4-pound bird. Whether you cook with beer or another canned beverage, you do need to pour out or drink about half of the liquid.
*************************** Orange Grilled Beer Can Chicken
If you are looking for a great-tasting and easy grilled chicken dish, you have to try Orange Grilled Beer Can Chicken. It’s fun, simple and makes the best bird.
My husband doesn’t cook much in the kitchen, but the grill is his baby. He’s great at making steaks, burgers, and even grilled pizza but this chicken recipe makes him look like a gourmet chef. It takes only a few minutes to get it prepped and on the grill...then the beer and seasonings do the rest.
Seeing the chickens sitting upright on the grill is a funny sight. But trust me when I tell you this method of grilling chicken produces the juiciest, tastiest bird with very little effort.
You don’t actually have to use beer. There are plenty of canned beverages that will work well with this method of cooking. You can use lemon-lime soda, cola or even apple or orange juice. You just need to make sure that the can is big enough to fit inside the bird and that the bird is light enough to sit up. I find that a standard-size soda or beer can works great in a 3- to 4-pound bird.
The first thing you need to do is make sure your bird is clean and dry. Then you can give it a light coating of olive oil. Sprinkle with any dry rub of your choice.
Before you put the birds over the cans, you need to pour out or drink half of the liquid in each can. As secret ingredients, my husband adds a few garlic cloves to each can and puts a quarter slice of orange inside each bird.
When the birds are ready to go, they need to be put on the side of the grill that is off so they aren’t over direct flame.
When the chickens are almost cooked (about 1 hour), my husband grills a few orange halves that later get squeezed over the cooked, sliced chicken.
The end result is grilled chicken with a nice crispy skin and juicy flavorful meat.
Orange Grilled Beer-Can Chickens
PREP TIME 15 min TOTAL TIME 1 hr 55 min SERVINGS 4 2 whole chickens (about 4 lb each), washed, dried and giblets removed 4 teaspoons olive oil 4 to 6 tablespoons seasoned salt or dry rub of your choice 2 cans (12 oz each) beer 4 cloves garlic 2 oranges, each cut in half and 1 half cut into quarters
1 Heat gas or charcoal grill for indirect grilling. Rub chickens with oil. Sprinkle seasoned salt over each chicken and inside cavities. 2 Discard half of beer in each can, leaving remaining half in each can. Place 2 garlic cloves in each can. Place each chicken over top of beer can by holding chicken up and pressing can into cavity. Place 1 quarter of orange in top cavity of each chicken. Insert ovenproof meat thermometer in each chicken so tip of thermometer is in thickest part of inside thigh muscle and does not touch bone. 3 Balance chickens on beer cans; place on grill over indirect medium heat. Cover grill; cook about 1 hour 30 minutes or until thermometers read at least 165°F and legs move easily when lifted or twisted. 4 Place orange halves and remaining quarters, flesh side down, directly on grill; cover and cook 3 to 5 minutes. 5 Remove chickens and oranges from grill; let chickens rest on beer cans 10 to 15 minutes before attempting to remove cans and carve chickens. Before serving, squeeze 2 of the orange halves over tops of chickens; serve others on the side.
Expert Tips Make sure the chickens are not placed over direct heat on the grill. If you’re using a gas grill, heat only one side of the grill. Then, place the chickens on the unheated side. If you’re using a charcoal grill, push the hot coals to one side and cook the chickens on the other. Or, push the coals to both sides and cook the chickens in the center.
Be sure to let the chickens cool for at least 10 to 15 minutes before trying to remove the cans of beer. Grill tongs will make this job easier.
***************************
Beer-Battered Fish
PREP TIME 10 min TOTAL TIME 15 min SERVINGS 4
Vegetable oil 1 pound fish fillets, thawed if frozen 3 to 4 tablespoons Original Bisquick mix 1 cup Original Bisquick mix 1/2 cup regular or nonalcoholic beer 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 egg Tartar sauce, if desired
1 Heat oil (1 1/2 inches) in heavy 3-quart saucepan or deep fryer to 350°. Lightly coat fish with 3 to 4 tablespoons Bisquick mix. 2 Beat 1 cup Bisquick mix, the beer, salt and egg with hand beater until smooth. (If batter is too thick, stir in additional beer, 1 tablespoon at a time, until desired consistency.) Dip fish into batter, letting excess drip into bowl. 3 Fry fish in oil about 2 minutes on each side or until golden brown; drain. Serve hot with tartar sauce.
Expert Tips These fillets are awesome sandwiched in burger buns. Add tangy tartar sauce, crisp lettuce leaves and a tomato slice for the Ultimate Fish Sandwich. Serve these crispy fish fillets in a plastic basket lined with cooking parchment paper. Add coleslaw, potato chips, tartar sauce and a stack of napkins for a true fish-fry experience!
*************************** Whiskey and Beer BBQ Chicken Sliders
A boilermaker, a shot of whiskey followed by a beer chaser, was the inspiration for these delicious pulled chicken sliders.
PREP TIME 20 min TOTAL TIME 40 min SERVINGS 12 Sauce 1 cup barbecue sauce 1 can (12 oz) beer 2 tablespoons whiskey 1 teaspoon seasoned salt 1 teaspoon garlic-pepper blend 1/2 teaspoon ground mustard 1 to 2 teaspoons Buffalo wing sauce or other hot sauce
Sandwiches 1 deli rotisserie chicken (unflavored), skin and bones removed, shredded (about 4 cups) 12 slider buns, split 12 pimiento-stuffed green olives, if desired
1 In 2-quart saucepan, heat sauce ingredients to boiling over medium heat, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer 20 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent scorching. 2 Remove half of the sauce to 2-cup liquid measuring cup; set aside. Stir shredded chicken into remaining sauce in saucepan until evenly coated. Heat over medium-low heat until hot. 3 Place about 1/3 cup chicken mixture on bottom of each slider bun; top with bun top. Garnish each sandwich with green olive. Serve with remaining sauce.
*************************** Greek Chicken
Yield: Makes 4 servings.
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves 3 tablespoons lemon juice salt and pepper, to taste 1 pound new potatoes, cut into 1-inch pieces 3 tablespoons olive oil, divided 1 zucchini cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices 1 green bell pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces 1 oriental eggplant, cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices 1 medium onion, cut into 1-inch pieces 3 cloves garlic, minced 1 tablespoon tomato paste 3 tablespoons chopped fresh oregano or 1 tablespoon dried oregano 6 kalamata olives, pitted and sliced 3 to 4 ounces feta cheese, crumbled
Preheat the oven to 400°F. Cut the chicken breasts across the grain into 1/4-inch-thick slices, toss with lemon juice, and season with salt and pepper. Set aside. Put the potatoes into a medium bowl, season with salt and pepper, sprinkle with 1 tablespoon of the olive oil, and toss. Spread the potatoes in a 13x9-inch baking pan and bake for 10 minutes. Remove from the pan and set aside, covered to keep warm. Put the remaining vegetables into the bowl, sprinkle with 1 tablespoon of olive oil, season with salt and pepper, and toss. Spread the vegetables in the baking pan and bake for 20 minutes, turning about halfway through. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil to a hot skillet and saute the chicken pieces until done. Remove from the pan and set aside, covered to keep warm. Combine the tomato paste and 1/3 cup of water in the skillet and cook to reduce to 1/4 cup, scraping up the brown bits from the chicken. Remove the skillet from heat and add the oregano, olives, and chicken. Spread the potatoes and other vegetables on a large platter. Place the chicken/tomato sauce on top and sprinkle with the feta.
*************************** Key Lime Cheesecake Dessert Squares
PREP TIME 20 min TOTAL TIME 6 hr SERVINGS 24 Crust 1/2 cup cold butter or margarine 1 pouch (1 lb 1.5 oz) Betty Crocker oatmeal cookie mix
Filling 3 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese 1 cup sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla 3 eggs 1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated) 3/4 cup Key lime juice 2 teaspoons grated lime peel 2 tablespoons flour
Topping 3/4 cup reserved cookie crust crumbs 3/4 cup coconut 3/4 cup macadamia nuts, chopped
1 Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 13x9-inch pan with cooking spray. 2 In medium bowl, cut butter into cookie mixture using pastry blender or fork, until mixture is crumbly. Reserve 3/4 cup mixture for topping. Press remaining mixture in bottom of pan. Bake 10 minutes. 3 Meanwhile, in large bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Beat in eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Stir in condensed milk, key lime juice, lime peel, and flour. Pour filling mixture over crust. 4 In medium bowl, mix reserved cookie crumbs, coconut and macadamia nuts. Sprinkle evenly over top of filling. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until light golden brown and mixture is set. Cool 1 hour or until completely cooled. Refrigerate at least 4 hours before serving. For bars, cut into 6 rows by 4 rows. Store covered in refrigerator.
*************************** QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder.......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on......
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
*************************** Watermelon Can Improve Your Health--And Your Sex Life The Healthy (And Sexy) Watermelon Watermelon, that tasty, refreshing, (and inexpensive) fruit most of us grew up slurping on as kids, has a lot more going for it than a dessert treat. Although it’s been recognized for decades that watermelon is an excellent source of vitamins C, A and B6, more recent nutritional studies of this fruit, which was originally cultivated in Africa, have revealed it to be an almost unparalleled antioxidant.
With watermelon so abundant and inexpensive at this time of year, you can start benefiting from this treat right now.
Pink watermelon (and yes, in some varieties the flesh is yellow) is a super source of lycopene, the powerful carotenoid antioxidant that neutralizes free radicals, substances which cause serious damage to the body. Regular snacking on watermelon is now known to oxidize cholesterol, and reduce rheumatoid and osteoarthritis inflammation. Lycopene has is believed to protect the body against many cancers, including prostate cancer, endometrial cancer, lung cancer, colorectal cancer and breast cancer.
And a study conducted last year by the U.S. Department of Agriculture published in the Journal of Agriculture and Food Chemistry indicates that keeping watermelon in your diet is beneficial for both women and men as it can prevent erectile dysfunction, lower blood pressure, improve insulin sensitivity, and fight macular degeneration.
Less well known information about watermelon, however, is something sexperts and people working in the sex industry have talked about for a long time. That is that eating watermelon makes your body fluids smell (and taste) delicious. You know how asparagus makes your urine pretty stinky, and semen taste strong and bitter, too? Well, watermelon works just the opposite.
Probably because of the natural sweetness of watermelon plus the fact that the flesh of the fruit is mostly water, when you eat watermelon or drink watermelon juice, all your body fluids, including semen, vaginal secretions and saliva, have a light, sweet aroma and slightly sugary taste. For couples who engage in oral sex, or who just really enjoy sloppy kissing, should try sharing a watermelon a few hours before engaging in lovemaking to enhance their sexual experience.
A final thought on the health aspect: studies indicate the quantity of those healthful carotenoids, in particular beta-carotene and lycopene, actually increases if the fruit is stored at room temperature. While most of us prefer our watermelon served well-chilled, you do sacrifice some healthy benefits by refrigerating.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
"Know this. From the moment you placed all in My Hands and sought no other aid, I have taken the quickest way possible to work out your salvation." -- GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
A Good Day
Genesis 1:21, NIV: "So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good."
When I write, or draw, or paint, I find it exciting to look upon a blank page, paper, or canvas, and to begin imagine what I will do with it. It is also something that can be a bit scary to any of us who obsess over details and are sometimes held captive by shackles of perfectionism. I imagine the same is so very true for many of us as we consider our Christian lives. We can be troubled by a great number of things--obsessing in the details while missing the truly good things. Some of us are held by the shackles of self-perception; thinking we are worse, or better, than we really are. But each day is a blank page, paper, or canvas. By God's Grace, and hopefully in agreement with Him, we get to write, draw, or paint the pieces of our day. What we create does not have to be perfect, but only pleasing to our Lord. It may not look as grand as we would like, but if it is our heart's best, God will be pleased. And that is really the greatest measure of a day after all.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. - Isaiah 53:5
Psalm 116:1-2 “I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.â€
***************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
homiletic • hah-muh-LET-ik • adjective 1 : of, relating to, or resembling a homily 2 : of or relating to the art of preaching; also : preachy
Examples: The lecturer sprinkled his talk with homiletic aphorisms.
"In clerical collar and vestments, Mr. Gomes was a figure of homiletic power in the pulpit, hammering out the cadences in a rich baritone that The New Yorker called a blend of James Earl Jones and John Houseman." -- From an article in The New York Times, March 2, 2011
***************************
CONFUCIOUS SAYS: Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.
THING TO PONDER: How do they get the cream in the Twinkie?
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot
“Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal.†- Author Unknown
THING TO PONDER: Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.
"If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison
Jack Benny "If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Laurence Sterne "For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies."
Bill Watterson "When birds burp, it must taste like bugs."
*************************** How to Unwind
Got a problem to fix but running low on energy? Not feeling one hundred percent? Everyone needs some time just to unwind themselves. Whether this is by having a peaceful sleep or doing something you love to do, everyone needs time for themselves. Follow this guide to unwind, de-stress and chill out, so that you can take a breath and relax.
Steps
1 A to-do list is a great idea to organize yourself and your time.Take a break from everything. Take a day off to sort out what's bugging you and to have a rest. Nobody can keep going on full throttle without taking a break. Take a moment to sort out your thoughts - write out everything on a piece of paper or in a diary, spill in a private blog, tell your pet bird - whatever works for you, do it. Clear all your worries and problems out of your system, and out of your mind. Organizing your daily routines can be a major step in the right direction. Give yourself enough time to properly do things without rushing so that you can enjoy things. Find out if your job insures any paid sick days or personal days. If they do, use them! It's recommended that you keep a record of your thoughts by writing them down because this helps you to sort through them and also gives you an anchor point for moving forward from. Be careful what you post on the internet when using a blog, because as soon as you click send, unless you've made sure it's set for private publication only, then anything you've written becomes public. It is not a good idea to vent about the people who are bugging you in a public forum!
2 Take a deep breath.Breathe and realize that worrying will not solve any of your problems. To relax, you have to actually try to relax and to give yourself the space and time to do so. Take a few deep breaths and remember that worrying will make things worse, and that you are entitled to find a centered inner place to help you go forward Meditation will help relax both your body and mind. Take 20 deep breaths in and out for a quick mood booster. See wikiHow's various meditation articles for more good tips and tricks on meditating. Seek meditation classes. Sometimes it's easier to learn to relax with other people.
3 Learn how to do something new. Learn how to do something new. Lessons, a workshop, after hours learning, etc., can all provide you with an opportunity to unwind and learn more about the world and yourself at the same time. You might not think that it's possible to unwind while learning but provided it's fun and it's with people who are enthusiastic, this can be an incredible buzz and time of sheer creativity for you.
4 Be positive!Find something positive about any situation. Tired? Stressed? Being positive can make a huge difference to your feelings and your outlook on the problems in your way. Remember every con has a pro, and being negative isn't going to help you sort through the options. Acting sarcastic about everything isn't going to give you the right key to unlock solutions. Put down your umbrella and live the sunshine. Positivity is a virus everyone wants to catch, so spread it! Be around positive people. Surrounding yourself with negative people may cause you to feel down. And that doesn't mean hanging around the laugh of the party all the time – it just means finding people who make you feel good when you're in their presence. And don't dismiss everyone who isn't upbeat – be aware that everyone gets a little down now and then over losses in their life; make your decisions about who is good to be around based on knowing people as a whole, not just from an odd occasion. Do something small but valuable for the community. Community service makes you feel good inside, as well as being beneficial for the people you help out. It can be as simple as helping collect your neighbor's mail while they're on vacation to as involved as helping out with the local soup kitchen. Give the time you have. Exercise! Exercising helps you to feel happy, and it is a great stress reliever. Next time you need to unwind, jog around the block or do a few laps in your pool to work off any irritation or stress.
5 Talk it through. Talk it through. Talking is definitely one of the best remedies. Whether it's your spouse, your parents, your best friend or your counselor, if decisions you need to make or things you're thinking are just too hard, talk to someone you trust to help you sort through the issues. Speak to someone you know you can always trust, and who is always there for you. Sleep on your problems, and when you wake up, say what you have to say.
6 Enough is enough, OK? Tell people when they've overstepped your boundaries. Let them know that their way of treating you is not welcome, and that they should stop. Let them say their side of the story as well as expecting them to listen to yours. Accept their opinions for what they are, and remember that honesty is the best policy. However, do be considerate when being honest.
7 Smile.Smile. Even when you're feeling down, smiling can make a big difference to your feelings and to other people's. Trying to be happy when someone is around can make them happy and can lighten up everyone's mood. And if a smile isn't enough, laughter is the best medicine.
8 Don't be afraid to have some much-needed rest.Sleep well. Sleeping is a way to shut down and restart your body. Forget about the external strife and rest for internal strength. Make your bed a comfortable environment by adding lots of pillows, throw a nice blanket over the top and add whatever makes you get to sleep easiest (music, reading, light/darkness, heat/cold air etc.) Have a warm bath or shower beforehand so you are refreshed, get a massage to relax and go to sleep. Pamper yourself. You don't deserve to be put under pressure. Sleep is a key point to unwinding.Know that resting gives your body some time to organize everything. Things will seem much clearer when you wake up. Make sure to get at least seven to eight hours of sleep per night. Know your sleep needs and stick to them. Try to get to bed earlier and wake up earlier. This can allow you space at the commencement of the day to get more things done while you're refreshed and it's quiet around you.
9 Take things slowly - there's no need to rush! Slow down and enjoy life. Take things slowly - there's no need to rush! Slow down and enjoy life. Going too fast will wear you out, while going top speed is guaranteed to wind you up, which defeats the purpose of your desire to unwind. Realize that it's not about how fast you can be. It's about the outcome you achieve. The outcome you're aiming for is to unwind, so relax! There's no need to rush - take note of this experience for next time.
10 Play an instrument.Play an instrument. Any instrument, from your old piano, to a baritone saxophone, or a piccolo. An instrument requires discipline, focus, a sense of rhythm and will help you to reconnect with keeping a healthy pace with the music and ultimately, with life.
11 If none of the above works, see a professional. If none of the above works, see a professional. This is important. No good human deserves to be stressed. Admitting you need to see someone is hard, but shows a lot of courage when you do. There is much relief to be gained from non-judgmental help.
Tips
Write a list of pros and cons. For every con, add a pro and vice versa. Have the person (if there is one) you have the disagreement with read over it, and see if you can make it better from there. Think to yourself; "Is this all worth it?" Ask yourself what good can come from a difficult situation rather than focusing on what bad is coming from it. Drink lots of water and keep to a healthy diet. Many ills stem from inadequate hydration and a diet poor in nutrients and these are two remedies over which you have complete control. Get outside and do things in the nature. Get out and live your life. Just letting go of all your problems and running free will make you feel like you are in fact free. Take it easy and sleep. Sleep is a restorative and a calming source that should never be underestimated. Also learn to rest properly; rest is an important part of coping with hardships. Remember to be fair. Listen to the other side of a person's story, and accept that they might be feeling as bad as you do, whether they show it or not. Remember that it is only human to need some time to yourself. Don't push yourself over the line or you'll have to face the consequences.
Warnings
If any problem you're experiencing is leading to depression, see your GP quickly. No-one should be affected for life over a problem that can be talked through or where some avenue of fixing or supporting can be found.
Things You'll Need
Restful imagery and places Healthy foods and water Instrument Exercise, yoga, meditation, etc. Organizational tools
*************************** Clams au Gratin
Ingredients 1/ 2 cup mushrooms (finely chopped) 1/2 cup shallot (finely chopped, onion) butter 2 tbsp chopped parsley (finely) 2 tbsp tomato (finely chopped) salt & pepper 36 clams (half shell) 1/3 to 1/2 cup bread crumbs
Directions Sauté the mushrooms and shallot or onion in 6 tablespoons butter for 3 minutes Add the parsley, tomato and salt and pepper to taste Spoon over clams Sprinkle with crumbs, dot with butter and bake at 400°F for 5-8 minutes, or until clams are just heated through
***************************
TOMATO AU GRATIN
2 c. bread crumbs 4 c. sliced fresh tomatoes 2 tsp. sugar 1 tsp. salt 1/3 tsp. dry mustard 1/2 tsp. paprika 2 c. grated cheddar cheese 1/4 c. butter, melted
Generously grease bottom and sides of a shallow casserole 10 inch size dish. Sprinkle about 1/3 of bread crumbs over bottom. Arrange 1/3 of the tomatoes on crumbs. Combine sugar, salt, paprika, dry mustard. Sprinkle 1/3 of this mixture over tomatoes. Sprinkle 1/3 of cheese on top. Repeat layers. There should be three layers. Sprinkle melted butter over the top of last layer of bread crumbs before adding last layer of cheese. Bake covered in preheated 375 degree oven about 30 minutes. Uncover and bake 10 minutes longer. Serves 4 to 6.
*************************** Peach-Plum Crostata
PREP TIME 20 min TOTAL TIME 1 hr 30 min SERVINGS 8 Pastry 1 1/2 cups Gold Medal all-purpose flour 1teaspoon sugar 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup firm butter or margarine, cut into pieces 1 egg yolk 4 to 5 tablespoons cold water
Filling 1/2 cup sugar 3 tablespoons Gold Medal® all-purpose flour 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon 3 cups sliced peaches (about 3 medium) 2 cups sliced plums (about 2 medium) 1 tablespoon lemon juice 2 tablespoons butter or margarine, softened 1 tablespoon sugar, if desired
1 Heat oven to 425ºF. In medium bowl, mix 1 1/2 cups flour, 1 teaspoon sugar and the salt. Cut in 1/2 cup butter, using pastry blender (or pulling 2 table knives through ingredients in opposite directions), until mixture is crumbly. Stir in egg yolk with fork. Sprinkle with cold water, 1 tablespoon at a time, tossing with fork until mixture forms a ball. Gather pastry into a ball and flatten to 1/2-inch thickness. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate 30 minutes. 2 On lightly floured surface, roll pastry into 13-inch circle, about 1/8 inch thick. Place on ungreased large cookie sheet. 3 In large bowl, mix 1/2 cup sugar, 3 tablespoons flour and the cinnamon. Stir in peaches and plums until coated. Sprinkle with lemon juice; mix. 4 Spoon fruit mixture onto center of pastry, spreading to within 3 inches of edge. Dot with 2 tablespoons butter. Fold edge of pastry over fruit mixture, making pleats. If desired, brush edge of pastry with water and sprinkle with 1 tablespoon sugar. 5 Bake 30 to 40 minutes, covering entire surface of crostata with foil for the last 10 to 15 minutes to prevent overbrowning if necessary, until crust is dark golden brown, fruit is tender and juices are bubbly in center. Cool completely, about 1 hour.
*************************** Apple Crostata with Caramel Sauce Artisan-style apple pie comes quick with a flavor bonus--caramel topping!
PREP TIME 20 min TOTAL TIME 1 hr 25 min SERVINGS 8 Crust 1 1/4 cups Gold Medal® all-purpose flour 2 tablespoons sugar 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup firm butter or margarine, cut into 1/2-inch pieces 3 tablespoons cold water 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
Filling and Topping 1/2 cup sugar 3 tablespoons Gold Medal® all-purpose flour 4 cups chopped peeled apples (4 medium) 1 tablespoon sugar 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 cup caramel topping
1 In medium bowl, mix 1 1/4 cups flour, 2 tablespoons sugar and the salt. Cut in butter, using pastry blender (or pulling 2 table knives through ingredients in opposite directions), until particles are size of small peas. In small bowl, mix water and vanilla; sprinkle over flour mixture, 1 tablespoon at a time, tossing with fork until all flour is moistened and dough almost cleans side of bowl (up to 1 tablespoon more water can be added if necessary). 2 Gather dough into a ball; shape into flattened 5-inch round on lightly floured surface. Wrap in plastic wrap; refrigerate about 30 minutes or until firm. 3 Heat oven to 400°F. With floured rolling pin, roll pastry into 12-inch round. Place on ungreased large cookie sheet. 4 In large bowl, mix 1/2 cup sugar and 3 tablespoons flour. Stir in apples until coated. Mound apple mixture on center of dough round to within 2 inches of edge. Fold edge of dough over apple mixture; crimp edge of dough slightly. In small bowl, mix 1 tablespoon sugar and the cinnamon; sprinkle over apples and dough. 5 Bake 27 to 32 minutes or until crust is golden brown. Cut into wedges. Serve warm drizzled with caramel topping.
EXPERT TIPS: Get more fiber and color when you don’t peel the apples, and think of the time you’ll save! Empire, Regent and Spartan apples are good choices for baked pies and desserts.
*************************** Pinwheel Apple Cobbler This apple cobbler extraordinaire is made cinnamon-roll style.
PREP TIME 35 min TOTAL TIME 1 hr 20 min SERVINGS 10
1/2 cup butter or margarine 2 cups sugar 2 cups water 1 1/2 cups Gold Medal self-rising flour 1/2 cup shortening 1/3 cup milk 2 cups finely chopped peeled baking apples (2 medium) 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 Heat oven to 350°F. Place butter in 13x9-inch (3-quart) glass baking dish; place in oven to melt. In 2-quart saucepan, mix sugar and water. Heat over medium heat, stirring frequently, until sugar dissolves. Set aside. 2 Place flour in medium bowl. With pastry blender or fork, cut in shortening until mixture looks like coarse crumbs. Add milk; stir with fork just until mixture begins to pull away from side of bowl. 3 On lightly floured surface, knead dough just until smooth. Roll out dough to 12x10x1/4-inch rectangle. 4 In medium bowl, gently stir apples and cinnamon until coated. Sprinkle apples evenly over dough. Beginning with long side, roll up jelly-roll fashion. Cut into 16 slices, each about 1/2 inch thick. Arrange slices in baking dish over melted butter. Pour sugar syrup carefully around and over rolls. (This looks like too much liquid, but crust will absorb it.) 5 Bake 40 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. Cool 15 minutes before serving.
Expert Tips For a cranberry-apple version, use 1 cup chopped fresh cranberries and 1 cup finely chopped peeled apple. To make Apple-Raisin-Pecan Cobbler, sprinkle 1/2 cup raisins over melted butter in baking dish and arrange dough slices over raisins. Sprinkle top with 1/2 cup chopped pecans before baking
***************************
Paprika-Herb Rubbed Chicken
A simple combination of herbes de Provence, paprika, salt and pepper makes a flavorful rub for chicken, or try it with steak or tofu.
4 servings Active Time: 5 minutes Total Time: 25 minutes
1 tablespoon herbes de Provence (see Notes) 2 teaspoons paprika 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 1-1 1/4 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breast (see Notes)
PREPARATION Combine herbes de Provence, paprika, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Coat both sides of chicken with the rub up to 30 minutes before grilling or broiling. Preheat grill to medium-high or position a rack in upper third of oven and preheat broiler.
To grill: Oil the grill rack (see Tip). Grill the chicken, turning once, until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part registers 165°F, 4 to 8 minutes per side.
To broil: Line a broiler pan (or baking sheet) with foil and coat with cooking spray. Place the chicken on the foil. Broil, watching carefully and turning at least once, until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part registers 165°F, 10 to 15 minutes total.
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Store the rub in an airtight container for up to 3 months; coat the chicken with the rub up to 30 minutes before grilling or broiling. Notes: Herbes de Provence is a mixture of dried herbs commonly used in the south of France. You can find commercial mixtures in well-stocked supermarkets, in the bulk spice section at some natural foods stores and/or gourmet markets. It’s also easy to make your own. Mix 1 tablespoon each (or equal proportions) dried thyme, rosemary, oregano, marjoram and savory in a small jar. If desired, add a pinch of dried lavender and crushed aniseed. It’s difficult to find an individual chicken breast small enough for one portion. Removing the thin strip of meat from the underside of a 5-ounce breast—the chicken tender—removes about 1 ounce of meat and yields a perfect 4-ounce portion. Wrap and freeze the tenders and when you have gathered enough, use them in a stir-fry or for oven-baked chicken fingers. If you can only find chicken breasts closer to 8- to 9-ounce each, you’ll only need 2 breasts for 4 servings—cut each one in half before cooking. Tip: Oiling a grill rack before you grill foods helps ensure that the food won’t stick. Oil a folded paper towel, hold it with tongs and rub it over the rack. (Do not use cooking spray on a hot grill.) When grilling delicate foods like tofu and fish, it is helpful to coat the food with cooking spray.
NUTRITION Per serving: 127 calories; 3 g fat ( 1 g sat , 1 g mono ); 63 mg cholesterol; 1 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 23 g protein; 1 g fiber; 196 mg sodium; 223 mg potassium.
Carbohydrate Servings: 0
Exchanges: 3 lean meat
*************************** Before I could start my first job right out of college, I had to present evidence that I was a U.S. citizen, so I brought a driver's license and birth certificate. The clerk looked at my driver's license and copied down some information. She then picked up my birth certificate and gave it a good, long look. "Is something wrong?" I finally asked.
"Yes," she said. "I can't find the expiration date."
*************************** I do the water and sewer billing for a small city in Washington State. Customers complained about our postcard-sized bills -- which they said looked too much like junk mail -- so we decided to start sending full-sized bills in envelopes. The month before we made the switch, I had a note printed on the cards, announcing the change. Two days later, I heard someone yelling at our receptionist, "Is this some kind of joke?" When the customer threw his bill on the desk, I saw his point. The note was printed: "Coming Soon! New Larger Bills!" *************************** Some of my friends started a company built around an innovative idea for an online business. A debate broke out about what to name the venture. "We have to call it Imagination," one passionate participant cried out. Everyone thought the idea over for a minute, and then a voice of reason replied, "Are you sure you want your business card to read 'Imagination, Limited'?" *************************** An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!" *************************** Young Actor: Dad, guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years. Father: Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part.
***************************
The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master. The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Fickle or Faithful Friends
"A friend loves at all times."1
It's an old story but well worth repeating. It's about Babe Ruth who was one of the all-time greats of American baseball. For years he had been the idol of sports fans. Time, however, took its toll. I read how, in one of his last games, he began to falter. He struck out and made several misplays that allowed the opposing team to score five runs in one inning. As he walked from the field, he was greeted with an enormous storm of boos and catcalls from the stands. Fans shook their fists. Then a little boy jumped over the railing and, with tears running down his cheeks ran out to the great athlete. Unashamedly, he flung his arms around his hero's legs and held on tightly. Babe Ruth picked him up, hugged him, set him down, and together the two of them walked off the field hand in hand.
A poet wrote: I went out to find a friend, But could not find one there. I went out to be a friend, And friends were everywhere!
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be a faithful friend at all times. And thank you that your friendship for me is never based on my performance—good or bad—and that you love me at all times no matter what. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Proverbs 17:17. New International Version (©1984) A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. New Living Translation (©2007) A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.
English Standard Version (©2001) A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
New American Standard Bible (©1995) A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.
GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995) A friend always loves, and a brother is born to share trouble.
King James Bible A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
American King James Version A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Romans 8:32 “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?â€
***************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
ungainly • un-GAYN-lee • adjective 1 a : lacking in smoothness or dexterity : clumsy b : hard to handle : unwieldy 2 : having an awkward appearance
Examples: The futon mattress was heavy and ungainly, without any straps to hold onto, and the two roommates struggled to carry it up the stairs.
"This fall collection was an '80s-inspired kaleidoscope of chaotic colors, awkward ball gowns, ungainly architectural silhouettes, and even a puzzling homage to the clown Pierrot, complete with pointy little hat." -- From an article by Robin Givhan in Newsweek, July 18, 2011
***************************
Even butterflies love a good brew. How to Attract Butterflies with Beer
Do you think butterflies are only attracted by the sweet smell of flowers? Wrong! This recipe works just as well owing to the sugary, ethanol delight that is beer. And it's a fantastic way to use up stale beer after the party!
Ingredients
1 pound (450g) sugar 1 or 2 cans of stale beer 3 mashed overripe bananas (a great way to use them up) 1 cup of molasses or syrup 1 cup of fruit juice 1 shot of rum
Steps
Mix the ingredients listed above in a large bottle or bowl. Mix the ingredients listed above in a large bottle or bowl.
Splash the mixture on woodwork, rocks or anything else in your garden. Splash the mixture on woodwork, rocks or anything else in your garden.
Soak a sponge in the mixture and hang the sponge from a tree limb. Soak a sponge in the mixture and hang the sponge from a tree limb.
Wait for the butterflies to arrive. Wait for the butterflies to arrive. Be patient – sometimes it can take some time for the butterflies to work out there is an easy treat available. Note that butterflies like shade, so you'll get your best results in hot weather placing the mixture in a shaded area.[1]
Tips
Even beer alone will attract butterflies. Simply splash small quantities of beer onto areas where butterflies are likely to alight, such as flowers, plants, fence posts, etc. and wait for them to be attracted.[2] As an added bonus, leave beer in a saucer at the side of an outdoor party to lure away the flies and other buzzing bothers so that your party guests remain insect-free![3] You can increase the chances of a butterfly visit by creating a salt and sand puddle (butterflies are attracted to drinking from salty sources as this apparently aids in their reproduction). Make a sand "puddle" consisting of moist sand with a little salt sprinkled in and situate this near where your beer mix is.[4]
Things You'll Need
Bottle or bowl Mashing implement
***************************
***************************
Dad's Favorite Deviled Eggs
Active Time: 10 Minutes Total Time: 20 Minutes Yield: Serves 6
I can't remember a summer picnic or party without deviled eggs made with Miracle Whip salad dressing. This is one of the first "party foods" I was allowed to fix by myself. Mom would hard-boil the eggs and I would do the rest, right down to filling the eggs and decorating them with a parsley leaf. You may want to use mayonnaise, but I'm sticking to my Dad's favorite dressing. INGREDIENTS 12 eggs 3/4 cup Miracle Whip salad dressing or mayonnaise 4 teaspoons Dijon mustard 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt Ground black pepper to taste Fresh parsley leaves DIRECTIONS Place the eggs in enough cold water to cover in a large saucepan with a lid. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Immediately remove from heat, cover, and leave for 10 minutes. Drain off the hot water, and run the eggs under cold water until cool. Tap the eggs gently in several places to crack and then peel. (For easy peeling, place the cool eggs in a pan of cold water for 10 minutes before cracking.) Slice the eggs in halve lengthwise. Carefully remove the yolks from the whites, and place the yolks in a bowl. Add the salad dressing, mustard, lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Using a fork, mix until well blended. Refill the egg white halves with the yolk mixture, using a spoon or small spatula. Garnish with parsley leaves and chill thoroughly before serving.
FOR DEVILED EGGS RANCHERO: In a bowl, combine the yolks with 1/2 cup mayonnaise, 1/4 up drained chunky hot salsa, 1/4 cup finely shredded Monterey Jack pepper or sharp Cheddar cheese, 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh cilantro, and salt and ground black pepper to taste. Refill the egg whites. Garnish each with a dollop of guacamole and a sprinkling of finely minced fresh chives.
FOR DEVILED CAVIAR EGGS: For this adult version, in a bowl, combine the yolks with 1/4 cup mayonnaise, 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard, 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice, 1 tablespoon finely minced fresh parsley, 2 teaspoons minced fresh chives, 1/8 teaspoon hot pepper sauce, and 2 ounces caviar. Mix until blended. Season to taste with salt and ground black pepper. Refill to the egg whites. Garnish each with a tiny dollop of sour cream and a dab of caviar. Serve with champagne.
***************************
Grandma's Potato Salad
Yield: 8 Servings
INGREDIENTS 6 to 7 medium red potatoes (about 2 pounds) 3/4 cup mayonnaise 1/2 cup sour cream 1/2 cup plain yogurt 1/3 cup thinly sliced green onions 2 to 3 dill pickle spears, chopped 4 1/2 teaspoons Dijon mustard 1 teaspoon prepared horseradish 2 garlic cloves, minced 1/2 teaspoon celery seed 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon pepper Dash onion salt Dash garlic powder 4 hard-cooked eggs, coarsely chopped DIRECTIONS Place potatoes in a saucepan and cover with water; bring to a boil. Cook for 20-30 minutes or until tender; drain and cool slightly. Slice potatoes into a large bowl. In a small bowl, combine the mayonnaise, sour cream, yogurt, onions, pickles, mustard, horseradish, garlic and seasonings. Pour over potatoes and toss to coat. Gently stir in eggs. Cover and refrigerate for 2-3 hours.
*************************** North Carolina-Style Pulled Pork Yield: Makes 10 servings Barbecue in North Carolina is defined as pulled pork with a distinctive tangy vinegar sauce--no sweet tomato sauce allowed! The pork is either "pulled" into pieces or chopped with a meat clever and dressed with the sauce. It is served on a cheap white hamburger bun topped with a simple slaw of chopped green cabbage dressed with the same vinegar sauce. Grilling Method: Indirect/Medium-Low Heat
INGREDIENTS 1 Pork butt, Boston butt, or untrimmed end-cut pork shoulder roast, 7 to 9 pounds Olive oil Kosher salt Freshly ground pepper Hickory wood chips, soaked in water for 30 minutes Lexington-Style Vinegar Sauce (see recipe below) 8 plain white hamburger buns, optional
North Carolina Coleslaw: 1 recipe Lexington-Style Vinegar Sauce, (see recipe below) 1 medium head green cabbage, chopped
Lexington-Style Vinegar Sauce: 2 cups apple cider vinegar 1/2 cup ketchup 1/4 cup packed brown sugar 2 tablespoons sugar 1 tablespoon ground white pepper 1/2 - 1 tablespoon red chili flakes (the more, the hotter*) 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
DIRECTIONS For the Pulled Pork: Build a charcoal or gas grill for indirect cooking. Do not trim any excess fat off the meat; this fat will naturally baste the meat and keep it moist during the long cooking time. Brush pork with a thin coating of olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Set aside on a clean tray until ready to cook. Before placing the meat on the grill, add the soaked wood chips. Place the chips directly on gray-ashed briquettes or in the smoking box of your gas grill. If using a charcoal grill, you will need to add charcoal every hour to maintain the heat. Place the pork in the center of the cooking grate, fat-side up, over indirect low heat. Cover and cook slowly for 4 to 5 hours at 325 to 350°F, or until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the middle of the pork registers 190 to 200°F. The meat should be very tender and falling apart. If there is a bone in the meat, it should come out smooth and clean with no meat clinging to it. (This is the real test for doneness on the barbecue circuit.) Remember, there is no need to turn the meat during the entire cooking time. Let the meat rest for 20 minutes or until cool enough to handle. Using rubber kitchen gloves (because it is so messy), pull the meat from the skin, bones, and fat. Set aside any crispy bits (fat) that have been completely rendered and look almost burned. Working quickly, shred the chunks of meat with 2 forks by crossing the forks and “pulling†the meat into small pieces from the butt. Alternately, you can chop the meat with a cleaver. Chop the reserved crispy bits and mix into the pulled pork. While the meat is still warm, mix with enough Lexington-Style Vinegar Sauce to moisten and season the meat (about 3/4 cup). The recipe can be made in advance up to this point and reheated with about 1/4 cup additional sauce in a double boiler. Serve hot, with the coleslaw on the side or serve sandwichstyle (preferred) on a hamburger bun and top with coleslaw. Serve additional sauce on the side, if desired.
For the North Carolina Coleslaw: Toss the sauce and cabbage together until well mixed and not quite wet. You may have sauce leftover. Refrigerate. Let sit for at least 2 hours or up to overnight before serving.
For the Lexington-Style Vinegar Sauce: Whisk all of the ingredients together in a large nonreactive bowl and let sit at least 10 minutes. The sauce will keep almost indefinitely, covered in the refrigerator.
NOTE: *The longer the sauce sits, the hotter (spicier) it gets since the heat from the red chili flakes is brought out by the vinegar. Start with 1/2 tablespoon red chili flakes and then add more to taste.
*************************** BBQ Baked Beans & Sausage Active Time: 30 Minutes Total Time: 30 Minutes Yield: 4 servings, about 11/3 cups each Here we turn baked beans into an easy main dish by adding chicken sausage and collard greens. Serve with: Coleslaw and cornbread.
INGREDIENTS 1/2 cup prepared barbecue sauce (see Shopping Tip) 1/2 cup water 2 tablespoons tomato paste 1 tablespoon molasses 1/8 teaspoon salt Freshly ground pepper to taste 1 tablespoon canola oil 1 medium onion, chopped 4 cups chopped collard greens (about 10 ounces), tough stems removed 9 ounces cooked chicken sausage links (about 3 links), halved lengthwise and sliced 2 15-ounce cans great northern or navy beans, rinsed (see Note)
Shopping tip: Check the sodium of your favorite barbecue sauce—some can be quite high. This recipe was developed with a sauce containing 240 mg sodium per 2-tablespoon serving. Note: While we love the convenience of canned beans, they tend to be high in sodium. Give them a good rinse before adding to a recipe to rid them of some of their sodium (up to 35 percent) or opt for low-sodium or no-salt-added varieties. (These recipes are analyzed with rinsed, regular canned beans). Or, if you have the time, cook your own beans from scratch. DIRECTIONS Whisk barbecue sauce, water, tomato paste, molasses, salt and pepper in a medium bowl. Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and collard greens and cook, stirring occasionally, until the collards are wilted, 3 to 5 minutes. Add sausage and cook, stirring, until beginning to brown, about 3 minutes more. Reduce heat to medium-low; add beans and the sauce mixture to the pan. Gently stir to combine, cover and cook until heated through, about 3 minutes.
*************************** Carolina Pulled Pork Active Time: 1 Hour Total Time: 14 Hours Yield: 12 to 14 servings Traditional Carolina barbecue begins with a whole hog smoked over coals; here, Sean Brock cooks pork shoulder for 12 hours in a 275° oven before smoking it for about 1 hour in a backyard grill .
INGREDIENTS 1 cup Dijon mustard 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar 2 tablespoons kosher salt 2 tablespoons freshly ground pepper 1 tablespoon sweet paprika 1 tablespoon onion powder 1 12- to 14-pound bone-in pork shoulder, with skin About 50 hardwood charcoal briquettes 8 cups small hardwood smoking chips, soaked in water for 30 minutes and drained
DIRECTIONS Preheat the oven to 275°. In a medium bowl, whisk the mustard with the brown sugar, salt, pepper, paprika and onion powder. Set the pork shoulder, fat side up, in doubled 14-by-18-inch disposable aluminum roasting pans. Brush the pork with the mustard mixture. Roast, uncovered, for 12 hours, until the meat is very tender and is pulling away from the shoulder bone. Tilt the pan and pour the roasting juices into a medium bowl; you should have about 1 1/4 cups. Refrigerate the juices for 30 minutes. Skim off the fat before using. Meanwhile, light 10 of the charcoal briquettes. When the coals are hot, cover them with the remaining 40 briquettes. When all the coals are hot, arrange 6 cups of the soaked wood chips around the coals. Set the roasting pan on the grill grate over the coals and wood chips. Cover the grill, partially open the air vents and smoke the pork shoulder for 30 minutes. Carefully remove the pork and the grill grate and stir the coals a few times. Scatter the remaining 2 cups of soaked wood chips over the coals. Replace the grill grate and return the pork to the grill. Cover and smoke for 30 minutes longer. Transfer the pork to a work surface and let rest for 30 minutes. Pull the meat off of the bones; discard the bones, gristle, skin and fat. Using tongs and a fork, or your fingers, finely shred the meat and transfer it to a large bowl. Toss the shredded meat with 1/4 cup of the reserved roasting juices and serve with barbecue sauce .
Make-Ahead Tip: The smoked pork shoulder can be prepared through Step 4 and refrigerated overnight. Break the pork into 4-inch pieces and bring to room temperature. Arrange the pork in a roasting pan, drizzle with 1/2 cup of water, cover with foil and rewarm in a 425° oven before shredding.
***************************
Shortbread Lemon Bars
Yield: 3 Dozen
INGREDIENTS For the Bars: 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel 1 teaspoon grated orange peel 3/4 cup cold butter or margarine For the Filling: 4 eggs 2 cups sugar 1/3 cup lemon juice 1/4 cup all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons grated lemon peel 2 teaspoons grated orange peel 1 teaspoon baking powder For the Topping: 2 cups (16 ounces) sour cream 1/3 cup sugar 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract DIRECTIONS In a food processor, combine flour, confectioners' sugar, and lemon and orange peel. Cut in butter until crumbly; process until mixture forms a ball. Pat into a greased 13-by-9-by-2-inch baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 12-14 minutes or until set and the edges are lightly browned. Meanwhile, in a mixing bowl, combine the filling ingredients; mix well. Pour over hot crust. Bake for 14-16 minutes or until set and lightly browned. Meanwhile, in a bowl, combine topping ingredients. Spread over filling. Bake 7-9 minutes longer or until topping is set. Cool on a wire rack. Refrigerate overnight. Cut into bars just before serving.
***************************
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree? A: The Branch Manager.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proof-reading.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Why do blondes love lightning? A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo.
It's with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains....yes, her husband just died.
Q: What's brown, red, black and blue? A: A Brunette who's been tellin one too many blonde jokes.
***************************
George Carlin Quote
Women are crazy. Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Ha, ha! Women have you found that to be true? Maybe your man could make it up to you by browsing a site like 77-Diamonds. Let him prove to you that he really isn't stupid after all.
***************************
Creation Order Joke
God made man before woman so the man would have time to think of an answer for the woman's first question.
Men, you may think you have a command of the English language, but when it comes to communicating with women, you may be surprised. Here is our dictionary of Womanese. Master these terms and you'll find your relationship with women greatly improved.
*************************** The Real Definition of Words When Used By Women
Fine - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up.
That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake.
Nothing - The calm before the storm. This means "Something" and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with "Nothing" usually end with "Fine" (See #1).
Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for you when it's your turn to do some chores around the house.)
Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, "You're welcome," and let it go.
Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about "Nothing." (See #3)
Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!)
Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, see #3.)
***************************
Differences Between Man and Women
Names
If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara.
If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.
*************************** Eating Out
When the bill arrives, John, Brad, Tony and Daniel will each throw in $20, even though the total is only $34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want change back.
When Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. *************************** Money
A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.
A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.
*************************** Bathrooms
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.
The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them. *************************** Arguments
Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument. *************************** Cats
Women love cats.
Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats. *************************** Future
A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife. *************************** Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.
A successful woman is one who can find that a man. *************************** Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. *************************** Dressing Up
A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. ****************************************************** Natural
Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed.
Women will somehow deteriorate during the night. *************************** Children
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. *************************** Thought for the Day
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
"I see the loving, the striving, not the defects. I see the conquest of your particular battle and count it a victory." -- GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
A Good Day
Genesis 1:21, NIV: "So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good."
When I write, or draw, or paint, I find it exciting to look upon a blank page, paper, or canvas, and to begin imagine what I will do with it. It is also something that can be a bit scary to any of us who obsess over details and are sometimes held captive by shackles of perfectionism. I imagine the same is so very true for many of us as we consider our Christian lives. We can be troubled by a great number of things--obsessing in the details while missing the truly good things. Some of us are held by the shackles of self-perception; thinking we are worse, or better, than we really are. But each day is a blank page, paper, or canvas. By God's Grace, and hopefully in agreement with Him, we get to write, draw, or paint the pieces of our day. What we create does not have to be perfect, but only pleasing to our Lord. It may not look as grand as we would like, but if it is our heart's best, God will be pleased. And that is really the greatest measure of a day after all.
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. - Isaiah 53:3
*************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
objurgation • ahb-jer-GAY-shun • noun : a harsh rebuke
Examples: "Mr. Filer was now pouring forth his nature in objurgations and oaths, and brandishing before the culprits -- Verena and Ransom -- the extreme penalty of the law." -- From Henry James' 1886 novel The Bostonians
"Pushing the Lloyd murder and Yvette's objurgation to a corner of his mind, he searched the room for a glimpse of Coby." -- From Nancy Bush's 2011 novel Hush
*************************** THINGS TO PONDER: Why are they called stands when they are made for sitting?
You might be a REDNECK if... ..anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
"The first wealth is health." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
***************************
How to Be Someone's Guardian Angel
Everybody needs a guardian angel to help them through tough times and to let them know that someone cares. Like in the song Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, you don't have to have wings and a halo to be someone's guardian angel. You just need to love and care for another person, even for a person you don't really know. Try being someone's guardian angel today.
Steps
1 First of all, you may want to remember what a guardian angel is. First of all, you may want to remember what a guardian angel is. Simply put, it's about being someone who watches out for another person and helps them regardless of what's in it for you. It's about caring for another person because that person matters and because they need help. There are also spiritual and mystical interpretations of guardian angels but this article is focused on the practical exercise of adopting the role of someone who is prepared to watch over another person and make sure that things go right for them.
2 Think about how guardian angels are portrayed and how this can be transferred to your guardian angel endeavors. Think about how guardian angels are portrayed and how this can be transferred to your guardian angel endeavors. In City of Angels, Nicolas Cage plays Seth, the admiring, loving angel who longs to be with Maggie, to feel as she feels. And so he becomes human, abandoning a life without sorrow or pain, just to be with her. In Your Guardian Angel, the chorus goes,"I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to Heaven." Both the movie and the book depict a self-sacrificial love and this is the idea behind being someone's guardian angel – sacrificing your time, energies and resources to help someone out. While this isn't about asking you to sacrifice your life for someone but sometimes you can even be in a position to help to save a life through a unique sacrifice, such as when you donate a kidney or donate blood. 3 Think of how you can do things for someone else that will benefit their life and help steer that person back onto a more fulfilling path in life. Think of how you can do things for someone else that will benefit their life and help steer that person back onto a more fulfilling path in life. How can you be there for this other person you've chosen to help watch over? How can you show that no matter what, you will always care for and love them or, if you don't really know this person, that you care enough now to do them great good? Contrary to the depictions in movies and songs, the person a guardian angel watches over doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic love interest. This person could be a friend, a relative, a child, a homeless person, etc. After all, everyone needs a guardian angel and in the process of being one, your own eyes can be truly opened to how much good you're capable of doing.
4 Be another person's ultimate supporter, their rock. Be another person's ultimate supporter, their rock. When this person expresses sadness, upset or they vent their frustrations, be there for them and don't judge. Simply point out what is good about them and help them to discover for themselves the pathways to pulling through difficult situations. When this person is upset, let them cry. More importantly, let them cry on you and don't push them aside. When this person abandons hope, assure them that it will all be okay eventually and they will pull through regardless of how tough things seem right now. Never let them lose hope in any aspect of their life – be it in their love life, work life, family life, etc. Remind them that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and give them examples of your own tough situations in life and how you worked through them.
5 When this person wants to talk, listen. When this person wants to talk, listen. Being truly heard without judging, advising or insinuating anything is beneficial to anyone. As someone's guardian angel, be ready to listen to them without interruption, without judgment and without advice. Don't brush them off or say that you don't have time to hear what they have to say. Make time for them, they'll appreciate it more than you'll ever know. And if you sense that they're hurting deeply, misguided, have lost their way or are not coping well with their problems, reflect their concerns clearly back to them along with a huge dose of kindness, support and acceptance. Often acknowledging people's pain and sadness is worth more than all the advice and guidance you might have in store.
6 What can you do to show that you care? Practice the ripple effect. One good deed brightens a person's day and cascades on to other people through your good deed, even though you usually don't see what happens next. Indeed, you may never know what further good your own good and kindness for another human being has transpired but you can be assured that spreading good has a ripple effect and your act of kindness, support and thoughtfulness continues to keep being passed on. A small smile, a door held open, a cheery word to a person who seems down – all of these things can make an enormous, positive difference beyond anything you can imagine. So, never fail to show that you care. Whether you do something to express your support like writing it out and sending it, or coming straight out and saying it, showing that you care is the most important thing you can ever do for someone. Pass it on because it's an act of an angel that keeps on giving.
Tips
Even a guardian angel needs his/her own guardian angel. Understand that you can't always be the one who is comforting another. It's a two-way street. When you feel hopeless, let someone be your guardian angel. Nobody's perfect, and we all have those days where we need our own guardian angel. Let someone return the favour and help you. When you feel down, he/she should do as much for you as you have done, but don't expect it unless you had an understanding. If it is not obvious, let your guardian angel know what you need, or just ask for a favor without feeling that your friend must do this for you. To avoid being hurt don't expect too much, but instead be glad that you did your part -- and let your potential guardian angel have freedom to decide whether to show gratitude or not, and when.
It's easy to be taken advantage of or to get hurt when you give everything that you have to someone to show that you care. Always remember that love is about loving yourself too and ensuring that your self-respect is maintained and nurtured as well as being a giving person.
***************************
How to Contact Your Guardian Angel
You've probably heard somebody talking about their Guardian Angel. We all have one - here's how to contact yours.
Steps
1 Go into a state of meditation. In your head, go to your "happy place". This could be at the beach, in your bed, etc. Make sure that you're focused on what you need to do. Don't rush this, give yourself time. Breathe deeply and become calm.
2 Greet your angel. Once you've gotten to your happy place, start to communicate with your guardian angel. In your mind, ask your angel what his or her name is. You may be surprised to realize that an image of your angel appears as well.
3 Get to know your angel. Talk to him/her and be friendly. Eventually you'll discover who your guardian angel is. Your guardian angel may be a family member you have recently lost who is looking out for you. 4 Always be open and honest with your angel and tell it everything. Don't be scared or shy to talk to your angel. Tell them everything you want to tell them. If you stay with them they will stay with you.
5 Say goodbye. When you feel like you've communicated enough with your guardian angel, tell them goodbye and that you'll talk to them later. Now they'll be waiting for the next time you want to contact them.
Tips
Don't be discouraged if you don't get a reply. If you keep trying, you will eventually reach them. Everybody has somebody looking after them. If you don't get a reply at first, rest assured that you still do have a guardian angel.
Warnings
Be careful to call the right spirit and beware that demons can be disguised as angels and are hard to be recognized.
***************************
How to Pray for Your Guardian Angel
Guardian Angel Every person of every faith has a guardian angel. Their purpose here on earth is to help us, guide us, and to link us to Heaven's energy and inspiration. In times of joy, they rejoice with us, and in times of sorrow, they mourn with us. Read on to discover a prayer that you can recite when you are in need of your guardian angel.
Steps
1 Be grounded and focused. Be relaxed, sit in a comfortable chair and pray at a time when you will not be disturbed. Focus on communicating with your guardian angel.
2 Breathe. Breathe from your belly if you are able to - this way you can focus on the breathing and relaxation will come easier. Focus on the prayer you want to make. If there are any thoughts that are popping up in you head, let them go and focus back on the prayer.
3 Visualize. Visualize that there is a white light surrounding you - with you. It banishes all negative thoughts and behaviors. Breathe in the light in until you feel that you are completely at peace with yourself.
4 Relax and meditate. Relax and meditate for a couple of minutes. If you have any thoughts, let them go and continue with the meditation. When you feel like you're ready, say: Guardian angel, come to me. Exhale slowly and say to yourself: With love and joy, so let it be.
5 Pause. Pause and repeat this breathing exercise for as long as you like, then let it fade away. Continue breathing and set yourself open to your guardian angel. No matter what you see or feel, stay relaxed and centered.
6 Thank. Thank the divine for this gift and experience.
7 Watch the light fade. When you are done, again see yourself surrounded by white light and see it disperse or fade into Mother Earth. Slowly come back to the physical world.
*************************** Chocolate Grasshopper drink
Ingredients to use: 1 ounce Creme de Cacao 1 ounce Creme de Menthe 4 ounce Milk Directions: Pour in one shot glass (jigger sized); both Creme de Cacao and Creme de Menthe. Pour in four to six ounces of (preferably cold) chocolate milk. Whipped cream topping optional.
*************************** Grilled Eggplant & Tomato Stacks
You can grill the eggplant rounds up to a day in advance, then assemble the eggplant, tomato and mozzarella “stacks†at the last minute. To make the eggplant and tomato stacks look symmetrical, use eggplant and tomatoes with approximately the same diameter.
Makes 6 servings Active Time: 25 minutes Total Time: 25 minutes
INGREDIENTS 2 teaspoons plus 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, divided 1 medium eggplant (3/4-1 pound), cut into 6 rounds about 1/2 inch thick 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt, divided 6 teaspoons prepared pesto 2 large beefsteak tomatoes, each cut into 3 slices about 3/4 inch thick 4 ounces fresh mozzarella, cut into 6 thin slices 6 fresh basil leaves 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
PREPARATION Preheat grill to medium-high or place a grill pan over medium-high heat until hot. Use 2 teaspoons oil to brush both sides of eggplant slices; sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon salt. Grill the eggplant slices for 5 minutes. Turn; continue grilling until tender and marked with grill lines, 3 to 5 minutes more. Transfer to a large platter. Spread each eggplant slice with 1 teaspoon pesto. Top with a slice of tomato, a slice of mozzarella and a basil leaf. Drizzle vinegar and the remaining 1 tablespoon oil over the towers; sprinkle with the remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt and pepper.
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Prepare through Step 2, cover and refrigerate for up to 1 day. Bring to room temperature before serving.
NUTRITION Per serving: 145 calories; 11 g fat ( 4 g sat , 6 g mono ); 17 mg cholesterol; 7 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 6 g protein; 3 g fiber; 323 mg sodium; 309 mg potassium.
Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (15% daily value) Carbohydrate Servings: 1/2
*************************** Teriyaki Marinated Chicken
Soy sauce, mirin, brown sugar, garlic and ginger combine in this teriyaki-inspired marinade for grilled chicken. Try it with pork chops if you prefer. Grill fresh pineapple slices and asparagus alongside for simple side dishes.
4 servings Active Time: 10 minutes Total Time: 1 1/2 hours (including 1 hour marinating time)
INGREDIENTS 1/2 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce 1/4 cup sake or mirin 2 tablespoons light brown sugar 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 tablespoon minced fresh ginger 1-1 1/4 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breast (see Note)
PREPARATION Whisk soy sauce, sake (or mirin), brown sugar, garlic and ginger in a bowl until the sugar is dissolved. Place chicken in a shallow dish or 1-gallon sealable plastic bag. Add the marinade and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to 12 hours. Remove from the marinade and pat dry. Preheat grill to medium-high or position a rack in upper third of oven and preheat broiler. To grill: Oil the grill rack (see Tip). Grill the chicken, turning once, until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part registers 165°F, 4 to 8 minutes per side. To broil: Line a broiler pan (or baking sheet) with foil and coat with cooking spray. Place the chicken on the foil. Broil, watching carefully and turning at least once, until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part registers 165°F, 10 to 15 minutes total.
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate the marinade for up to 3 days; marinate the chicken for up to 12 hours. Note: It’s difficult to find an individual chicken breast small enough for one portion. Removing the thin strip of meat from the underside of a 5-ounce breast—the chicken tender—removes about 1 ounce of meat and yields a perfect 4-ounce portion. Wrap and freeze the tenders and when you have gathered enough, use them in a stir-fry or for oven-baked chicken fingers. If you can only find chicken breasts closer to 8- to 9-ounce each, you’ll only need 2 breasts for 4 servings—cut each one in half before cooking. Tip: Oiling a grill rack before you grill foods helps ensure that the food won’t stick. Oil a folded paper towel, hold it with tongs and rub it over the rack. (Do not use cooking spray on a hot grill.) When grilling delicate foods like tofu and fish, it is helpful to coat the food with cooking spray.
NUTRITION Per serving: 135 calories; 3 g fat ( 1 g sat , 1 g mono ); 63 mg cholesterol; 2 g carbohydrates; 1 g added sugars; 23 g protein; 0 g fiber; 263 mg sodium; 205 mg potassium.
Carbohydrate Servings: 0
***************************
Peaches 'n Cream Cake
You can have it all with this dream cake—tempting taste and easy on the waist!
PREP TIME 15 min TOTAL TIME 3hr SERVINGS 12 INGREDIENTS:
Plum Glaze 1/2 cup plum, strawberry or currant jelly 2 teaspoons cornstarch 1 tablespoon cold water
Cake 1 box Betty Crocker white angel food cake mix 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 3 cups frozen (thawed) reduced-fat whipped topping 1 cup sliced peaches
DIRECTIONS: 1 In 1-quart saucepan, heat jelly to boiling. In small bowl, mix cornstarch and 1 tablespoon water; stir into jelly. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir 1 minute. Cool completely. 2 Bake and cool cake as directed on box for angel food (tube) pan. Remove from pan. 3 In medium bowl, gently fold cinnamon into whipped topping. Spread on top and side of cake. Arrange peach slices on top. Stir glaze; spread over peaches and top of cake, allowing some to drizzle down side. Store in refrigerator.
TIPS: Bring out Mamma’s or Granny’s pedestal cake plate—this cake deserves the best! Home-canned or frozen peaches add a homemade taste to this recipe. Just thaw and/or drain well.
Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Serving)Calories 210 (Calories from Fat 20 ),Total Fat 2 g(Saturated Fat 2 g,Cholesterol 0mg;Sodium 270 mg;Total Carbohydrate 45 g(Dietary Fiber 0g,Protein 3 g;Percent Daily Value*:Vitamin A 2.00%;Vitamin C 2.00%;Calcium 2.00%;Iron 4.00%;Exchanges:2 Starch;1 Fruit;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
*************************** CHOCOLATE CHIP PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES
Prep time: 15 min Bake time: 15 min Yield: 3 dozen
1 1/4 cups Jif Omega-3 Creamy Peanut Butter 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar 1 large egg 2 tablespoons water 1/4 teaspoon almond extract 3/4 cup Pillsbury All Purpose Flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1.HEAT oven to 375°F. 2.BEAT peanut butter and brown sugar in large bowl with electric mixer until creamy. Beat in egg, water and almond extract until blended. Add flour, baking soda and salt. Beat until evenly moistened. Stir in chocolate chips. Drop by tablespoonfuls on cookie sheet. Flatten slightly in criss cross pattern with fork. 3.BAKE 8 to 10 minutes or until golden brown. Cool 1 minute on cookie sheet before moving to rack to cool completely.
***************************
Grilled Shrimp with Melon & Pineapple Salsa
Grilled shrimp is perfectly accented by this light, summery pineapple-melon salsa. The flavors are bright and fresh, just right for a hot day. Use just one melon or any combination of melons—including watermelon—for the versatile salsa. For best flavor marinate the shrimp overnight.
READER'S COMMENT: "I made this refreshing salsa many times over the summer and it was a hit! I ditched the ginger and mint and also marinated the shrimp in a teriyaki pineapple sauce I made. I got so many compliments on it. My friend is planning on making...
4 servings Active Time: 45 minutes Total Time: 1 1/4 hours (plus marinating time)
INGREDIENTS 1 pound raw shrimp, (16-20 per pound), peeled and deveined (see Note) 2 tablespoons canola oil, divided 2 teaspoons finely grated fresh ginger, divided 2 teaspoons minced seeded jalapeño, divided 2 cups finely diced firm ripe melon 1 cup finely diced fresh pineapple 1/4 cup finely diced red bell pepper 1/4 cup finely diced green bell pepper 1/4 cup finely diced red onion 3 tablespoons rice vinegar 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint, plus 4 sprigs for garnish 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 4 large lettuce leaves, such as Boston, romaine or iceberg 4 lime wedges
PREPARATION Combine shrimp, 1 tablespoon oil, 1 teaspoon ginger and 1 teaspoon jalapeño in a medium bowl. Cover and refrigerate for 4 hours or up to 24 hours. Combine melon, pineapple, red and green bell pepper, onion, vinegar, chopped mint and salt in a large bowl with the remaining 1 tablespoon oil, 1 teaspoon ginger and 1 teaspoon jalapeño. Refrigerate until cold, about 30 minutes or up to 4 hours. About 20 minutes before serving, preheat grill to high. Thread the shrimp onto skewers, piercing each twice, once through the tail end and once near the head end. Grill the shrimp until pink and just cooked through, 2 to 3 minutes per side. When cool enough to handle, slide the shrimp off the skewers. To serve, arrange one large lettuce leaf on each dinner plate. Spoon salsa onto the lettuce and top with shrimp. Garnish each serving with a lime wedge and a mint sprig, if using.
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Marinate the shrimp (Step 1) for up to 24 hours. Cover and refrigerate the salsa (Step 2) for up to 4 hours. | Equipment: Four 8- to 10-inch skewers Note: To devein shrimp, use a paring knife to make a slit along the length of the shrimp. Under running water, remove the tract with the knife tip.
NUTRITION Per serving: 211 calories; 8 g fat ( 1 g sat , 5 g mono ); 168 mg cholesterol; 16 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 19 g protein; 2 g fiber; 352 mg sodium; 501 mg potassium.
Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (97% daily value), Vitamin A (24% dv), Iron (20% dv). Carbohydrate Servings: 1
Exchanges: 1 fruit, 2 1/2 lean meat, 1 fat
*************************** When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. "And the Americans, they are so friendly!" he concluded. "Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, .... 'Jose, can you see?'" ***************************
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
***************************
My wife was fascinated by the elegant calligraphy on the hand-written menu in a Chinese restaurant. She took it home and spent months knitting a sweater with Chinese characters down the front. She was wearing it at a cocktail party when a Chinese physician asked where she got the symbols. "From a menu," she admitted.
"Do you know what they say?"
"I'm afraid to ask," my wife said, "but tell me anyway."
"Cheap, but good."
***************************
For some recruits, there is nothing basic about basic training. It was clear that one soldier in particular was not getting the hang of it when on guard duty one night, he cried out, "Halt! Don't shoot or I'll move!"
*************************** The guide introduced a tourist in the Rocky Mountains to an old hunter who was reputed to have slain some hundreds of bears.
"This feller," the guide explained to the hunter, "would like to hear about some of the narrer escapes you've had from bears."
The old mountaineer regarded the tourist with a disapproving stare.
"Young man," he said, "if there's been any narrer escapes, the bears had 'em."
***************************
A small boy was hoeing corn in a sterile field by the roadside, when a passer-by stopped and said:
"'Pears to me your corn is rather small."
"Certainly," said the boy; "it's dwarf corn."
"But it looks yaller."
"Certainly; we planted the yaller kind."
"But it looks as if you wouldn't get more than half a crop."
"Of course not; we planted it on halves."
***************************
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me." "My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away." "I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it." He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?" "In the postscript," she answered. " It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George.'"
***************************
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
"Remember no prayer goes unanswered. You will see lives you never touched altered, laws made, evils banished." -- GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
Our Master's Servants
Matthew 24:45-46, NIV: "Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns."
Are these precarious, or uncertain, times? The question may elicit a number of answers from a variety of people. And yet, there is an answer to that question that is not based upon opinion but upon the absolute Truth that is only found in God. And it is to God to whom we must look for that answer. That is, if we are willing. Are we willing to shake ourselves free of our personal desires for this life, and our perception of the world around us? Are we willing to seek God's truth above a desired truth regarding how things are and how they will be? If so, we are on our way to understanding these times, whether or not they are uncertain or shaky, and what God intends to do in these times. The world may indeed be on shaky soil, in its last days, and getting closer to the final chapters before the Masters returns. Are we ready to lay aside all that we think, and truly seek to see how God sees, and be what God wants us to be? We are the Master's servants. And we need to remember our place, and our purpose as servants as we await our Master's return.
He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. - Psalm 24:4
*************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
runic ROO-nik , adjective; 1.Having some secret or mysterious meaning. 2.Consisting of or set down in runes. 3.Referring to an interlaced form seen on ancient monuments, metalwork, etc., of the northern European peoples.
Quotes: And he dances, and he yells; keeping time, time, time, in a sort of runic rhyme. -- Edgar Allan Poe, The Bells To that end, he hid the secret in this runic code. -- James Rollins, Black Order: A Sigma Force Novel
Origin: Runic comes from the Old English run, "secret."
*************************** THINGS TO PONDER: If you can't drink and drive why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you" - Wayne Dyer
You might be a REDNECK if... ...your 'huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
Joe E. Lewis "I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."
Samuel Beckett "Birth was the death of him."
Groucho Marx "All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."
***************************
Have you ever wondered if your indoor cat would rather be outdoors?
Many cat owners keep their cat indoors their whole life - and on average, these cats live twice as long. Others allow their cat to move around freely, spending some of their time inside and some outdoors.
How you can make your cat happy to live indoors?
Thankfully, there are many things you can do to enrich your cat's environment. Here are my top 5 ways to make an indoor cat happy.
1. Refuges - Many cats love to rest in places they feel safe. It can be as simple as hiding in a cardboard box or underneath a low-hanging bed. It makes the cat feel safe and secure to be able to curl up comfortably and easily scan the surrounding area for potential predators or prey at the same time.
2. Perches - Cats love perches. It can be a cat tree or a spot in your house that is high off the ground. Experts say cats need at least 500 square feet to themselves to overcome behavior issues and they can gain a lot of room by simply going vertical. From a high place, cats feel secure because they can watch everything that is going on.
3. Scratching stimulation - Whether or not your cat is declawed, cats still have a scratching instinct. Scratching not only sharpens their claws (if they have them), but it also helps them stretch and leave their scent on objects they believe are in their 'territory'. A scratching post is a much better place to scratch than your furniture.
4. Play - Cats are natural hunters. And to them, playtime is a practice session for hunting. Picking the right toys to exercise their natural hunting instincts will greatly increase their love for their indoor environment, especially if the toys remind them of stalking prey they would naturally hunt in the wild.
5. Visual stimulation - Give your cat a nice comfy spot where he can watch the outside world through a big window or glass door with a great view. A nice window bed will help your cat reconnect with the outside world and feel more satisfied in with his indoor life.
Making your cat's indoor environment more comfortable will make your house much more enjoyable for both you and your kitty.
One of my favorite ways to enrich your home is with a Sunny Seat Cat Bed . This is probably the coolest thing I've seen in quite a while. Sunny Seat attaches right to your glass door or window with four super-large industrial suction cups that will securely hold up to 50 lbs. Your cat can soak up some sun, enjoy a great outdoor view, and stay up high where he will feel safe and happy. A good cat bed like this one can really improve your cat's mental health and quality of life.
*************************** Chicken Cordon Bleu I
"This entree is easy and delicious! It's one of my husband's favorites! Try to use the largest chicken breasts you can find so you'll be able to roll them easier."
Prep Time:10 Min Cook Time:35 Min Ready In:45 Min Yield 4 servings
Ingredients
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper 6 slices Swiss cheese 4 slices cooked ham 1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Coat a 7x11 inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. Pound chicken breasts to 1/4 inch thickness. Sprinkle each piece of chicken on both sides with salt and pepper. Place 1 cheese slice and 1 ham slice on top of each breast. Roll up each breast, and secure with a toothpick. Place in baking dish, and sprinkle chicken evenly with bread crumbs. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink. Remove from oven, and place 1/2 cheese slice on top of each breast. Return to oven for 3 to 5 minutes, or until cheese has melted. Remove toothpicks, and serve immediately. Nutritional Information
Amount Per Serving Calories: 419 | Total Fat: 19.4g | Cholesterol: 124mg
***************************
Orginial Chicken Cordon Bleu
Total Time: 25 min Prep 5 min Cook 20 min Yield: 8 servings
Ingredients 4 double chicken breasts (about 7-ounces each), skinless and boneless Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper 8 thin slices deli ham 16 thin slices Gruyere or Swiss cheese 2 teaspoons fresh thyme leaves 1/4 cup flour 1 cup panko bread crumbs 1 teaspoon olive oil 2 eggs 2 teaspoons water
Directions Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lay the chicken between 2 pieces of plastic wrap. Using the flat side of a meat mallet, gently pound the chicken to 1/4-inch thickness. Take care not to pound too hard because the meat may tear or create holes. Lay 2 slices of cheese on each breast, followed by 2 slices of ham, and 2 more of cheese; leaving a 1/2-inch margin on all sides to help seal the roll. Tuck in the sides of the breast and roll up tight like a jellyroll. Squeeze the log gently to seal.
Season the flour with salt and pepper; spread out on waxed paper or in a flat dish. Mix the breadcrumbs with thyme, kosher salt, pepper, and oil. The oil will help the crust brown. Beat together the eggs and water, the mixture should be fluid. Lightly dust the chicken with flour, then dip in the egg mixture. Gently coat in the bread crumbs. Carefully transfer the roulades to a baking pan and bake for 20 minutes until browned and cooked through. Cut into pinwheels before serving.
*************************** Crab Hushpuppies
Recipe courtesy Paula Deen, 2008
Total Time: 10 min Prep 5 min Cook 5 min Yield:3 to 4 servings Level:Easy
Ingredients Oil, for frying 1 cup yellow cornmeal 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon minced thyme 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon garlic pepper 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper 2 large eggs, lightly beaten 1/2 cup buttermilk 1/2 cup sour cream 1 cup chopped green onions 1/2 cup very fine bacon crumbles 1 pound fresh picked blue crabmeat
Directions In a Dutch oven, heat oil to 350 degrees F.
In a large bowl, combine cornmeal, flour, thyme, baking powder, salt, garlic pepper, baking soda and cayenne pepper.
In a small bowl, combine eggs, buttermilk, and sour cream. Add to cornmeal mixture, stirring just until dry ingredients are moistened. Fold in onions, bacon, and crabmeat.
Dip spoon into water and then a spoonful of the hushpuppy mixture. This will allow mixture to easily fall off the spoon. Drop by tablespoonfuls into hot oil, and fry until golden brown. Drain on paper towels.
*************************** Paula Deenes Hushpuppies
Total Time:Prep10 min Cook20 min Yield:35 hushpuppies
Ingredients 6 cups peanut oil 1 1/2 cups self-rising cornmeal 1/2 cup self-rising flour 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 small onion, chopped 1 cup buttermilk 1 egg, lightly beaten
Directions Using a deep pot, preheat oil for frying to 350 degrees F.
Using a mixing bowl, stir together the cornmeal, flour, baking soda, and salt. Stir in the onion. In a small bowl, stir together the buttermilk and egg. Pour the buttermilk mixture into the dry ingredients and mix until blended. Drop the batter, 1 teaspoon at a time, into the oil. Dip the spoon in a glass of water after each hushpuppy is dropped in the oil. Fry until golden brown, turning the hushpuppies during the cooking process.
***************************
Hush Puppies
Ingredients:
vegetable oil for deep-frying 2 cups self-rising cornmeal mix 3 tablespoons self-rising flour 2 tablespoons finely chopped green onion 1 cup milk 1 egg, beaten Preparation:
In a deep fryer or heavy, deep skillet, heat 2 to 3 inches of oil over medium heat to 375°. In a mixing bowl, combine cornmeal mix, flour, and onion. Add milk and egg; mix well. Let stand for 5 minutes. Drop batter by tablespoons into hot oil. Fry until golden brown, turning several times. Drain on paper towels. Makes about 15 hush puppies.
*************************** Beef Chili-'n-Cheddar-Topped Potatoes
Try these yummy potatoes. This will be a hit with everyone in the family.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 8 minutes Cooking time: 13 minutes
1 1/2 pound ground beef 4 medium (8 oz each) baking potatoes 1 tablespoon chili powder 1 can (15 ounces) hot chili beans 1 1/2 cups Cheddar cheese, shredded, divided 1/4 cup sliced green onions
Pierce potatoes with fork. Microwave on HIGH 11 to 13 minutes or until tender, rotating 1/4 turn after 6 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes.
Meanwhile in large nonstick skillet, brown ground beef over medium-high heat 6 to 8 minutes or until beef is no longer pink, breaking up into 3/4 inch crumbles. Pour off drippings. Season with chili powder and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Stir in beans and 1 cup cheese; heat through, stirring occasionally.
Cut lengthwise slit in potatoes; fluff inside of potato with fork. Season with salt and pepper, if desired. Spoon equal amount of beef mixture over each potato. Top with remaining cheese and green onions.
*******************************
HONEY BEE COOKIES
1/2 c. butter, softened 1/2 c. packed brown sugar 1/2 c. honey 1 egg 1 1/2 c. Gold Medal all-purpose flour 1/2 tsp. baking soda 1/2 tsp. salt 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees.
2. Beat butter, brown sugar, honey and egg in a medium bowl on medium speed, scraping bowl constantly, until smooth. Stir in remaining ingredients.
3. Drop the dough by teaspoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet.
4. Bake until set and light brown around edges (surfaces of cookies will appear shiny), 7 to 9 minutes. Let stand 3 to 5 minutes before removing from cookie sheet, then remove from cookie sheet with metal spatula onto a wire rack. Makes 36 cookies.
HONEY-BRAN COOKIES: Stir 1 cup of shreds of bran cereal into batter.
HONEY-CINNAMON COOKIES: Mix 2 tablespoons of sugar and 1/2 teaspoon of ground cinnamon; sprinkle on cookies immediately after removing from oven.
HONEY-COCONUT COOKIES: Stir 1 cup of shredded coconut into batter.
***************************
TWO TREES AND A WOODPECKER
It is hard to find a email message today without a dirty word or two in it.... but here is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then, a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, 'woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell us if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'it is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.
*************************** JEWISH POKER CLUB Seven retired Jewish Floridian's were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other six continue playing, but standing up. At the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the bad news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, & don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet..? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me..!" Goldberg goes over to the Meyer's condo and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home." "Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife. "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg. *************************** You know the honeymoon is over when the comedians start.
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. --Jay Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. --Conan O'Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser. --Jay Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. --David Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? A: America! --Jimmy Fallon
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo? A: Bo has papers. --Jimmy Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program? A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. --David Letterman
Solution to the problem in Libya: They want a new Muslim leader, Give them ours.
*************************** "Did your late employer give you a testimonial, Jack?"
"Yes, Tom. But the way employers look at it when I apply for a job make one think there's something wrong with it."
"What does it say, then?"
"Why, he said I was one of the best men his firm had ever turned out."
***************************
Paddy 'n' Mick join the army, and are put on street patrol in a city with a military curfew. They are given instructions to shoot anybody who's on the streets after 6 o'clock. So one day, they're out at twenty to 6, when Paddy spots a man walking on the other side of the street. He lines up the man in his sights and shoots the man dead. Mick is shocked. "What are you doin', Paddy? It ain't 6 yet!" "I know what I'm doin'. I know where he lives and he wouldn't have made it!"
*************************** A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh." "Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn." "I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."
***************************
While driving through South Carolina, I kept having to slow down for road repair crews. To keep the workers safe, the highway department posted a series of signs that read, "Let 'em work. Let 'em live." On one of the signs an exasperated motorist had added, "Let 'em finish!"
***************************
The curiosity of the passenger was excited by the fact that his seatmate had his right arm in a sling, and the following dialogue occurred:
"You broke your arm, didn't you?"
"Well, yes, I did."
"Had an accident, I suppose?"
"Not exactly. I did it in trying to pat myself on the back."
"My land! On the back! Now, whatever did you want to pat yourself on the back for?"
"Just for minding my own business."
***************************
The mild little husband was appealing to the court for protection from the large, bony belligerent and baleful female who was his wife.
"Let us begin at the beginning," said the judge. "Where did you first meet this woman who has thus abused you?"
The little man shuddered, and looked everywhere except at his wife as he replied:
"I never did, so to say, meet up with her. She jest naturally overtook me."
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Insignificant Goals
"Cling tightly to your faith in Christ, and always keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked."1
"Some years ago a headline told of three hundred whales that suddenly died. The whales were pursuing sardines and found themselves marooned in a bay. Frederick Harris commented, 'The small fish lured the sea giants to their death. They came to their violent demise by chasing small ends, by prostituting vast powers for insignificant goals.'"2
Over the years I've asked numerous people in many groups how many of them believe that God has a purpose for their life. Almost all hands raise in agreement. But when I ask what their God-given life- purpose is, very few have any idea. I get lots of vague generalities, but very few have a clearly defined life-purpose.
If we don't know specifically where we are headed in life, instead of making life happen, we allow life as it happens to make us. That is, instead of directing our life, we are directed by life's circumstances. We become like a rudderless ship with no real sense of direction, wasting our God-given potential on pursuing happiness, riches, or insignificant goals. Unless we know where we are headed, there is a danger that we, like the whales, may make shipwreck of our faith or even of our life.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you do have a God-given life purpose for my life. Please help me to discover what it is and, with your help, do all in my power to achieve that purpose. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1 Timothy 1:19 New Living Translation (NLT) 19 Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked.
***************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
defenestration • dee-fen-uh-STRAY-shun • noun 1 : a throwing of a person or thing out of a window 2 : a usually swift dismissal or expulsion (as from a political party or office)
Examples: As with all annoying electronic devices, there is a risk that my new alarm clock will meet with a sudden end by defenestration.
"They are … bent on the politics of polarization, their more sensible leaders held hostage to the threat of defenestration in the next round of primary contests." -- From an article by Robert Shrum in The Week, July 14, 2011
***************************
Samuel Beckett "Birth was the death of him."
Groucho Marx "All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."
Laurence J. Peter "A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know."
The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much, but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day. It turned out he was right. After forty years, the volcano petered out. Everybody left town, and the hardware store went broke. Finally he decided to collect gold nuggets too, but there weren't many left by then. Plus, he broke his leg and the doctor's bills were real high. –Jack Handey
***************************
How to Train Your Service Dog Without a Professional Trainer
If you want a service dog because you have a physical or mental disability but you don't want to be on a waiting list for years, or you can't afford such a trained dog, it may be possible for you to train a dog yourself. Certified service dogs can go with their handler in every public place where dogs usually are not allowed, like in shops, libraries, museums, theatres and cinemas. A service dog can be of any breed and size, from a Chihuahua to a Great Dane. The most popular service dog breeds are Golden Retriever, Labrador Retriever and German Shepherd. The important part is that your dog has the right personality. It has to be willing to work, calm and unafraid. You should get help from a professional service dog trainer unless you are an experienced dog trainer. If you know how to teach a dog any behavioural methods without help from a tutorial, then generally you should have no problems teaching the service dog on your own.
Steps
1 Find out if your dog has the potential to become a service dog. Find out if your dog has the potential to become a service dog. A large percentage of all puppies are capable of becoming a service dog but ask yourself these questions:
2 Neuter or spay your dog.Neuter or spay your dog. Do this between four and six months of age. All service dogs are neutered because neutered dogs are less likely to drift to find females in heat, they are also less likely to mark territory and they are less likely to develop more territorial tendencies. Neutered dogs are less aggressive, which is an important factor for a service dog. Depending on the weight of your dog, a neutering costs between USD$200 and USD$300 at most vets.
3 Train basic obedience.Train basic obedience. A service dog has to be able to sit, stay, lie down and come on cue 90 percent of the time the handler asks him to do so. You can use either verbal cues or hand signals as commands. The dog also needs to walk next to the handler in a controlled manner all the time. The best way to teach your dog specific behavioral traits is clicker training. If you have no clue how to teach your dog sit, stay, lie down, come and heel, you should not train your own service dog.
4 Teach the dog to be as well-behaved unleashed as leashed. Teach the dog to be as well-behaved unleashed as leashed. The dog should do the basic obedience tricks when no leash is on.
5 Teach your dog not to greet other people.Teach your dog not to greet other people. The service dog has to be focused on you, and not on anyone else. This step is vitally important because you may need instant help, and if the dog is running around to other people to greet them, the dog can miss your need for immediate help.
6 Train a little agility with the dog. Train a little agility with the dog. It improves courage and stability, and is a good way to see how well your dog listens to commands.
7 Socialize your dog a lot.Socialize your dog a lot. Socializing doesn't just mean going to new places – it also includes meeting plenty of new people and animals. If you can't talk to people for any particular reason, have a vest on the dog that says: "Please pet me", or "Let me meet your dog", and also "I'm training to become a service dog" if you want to add that. Since you have taught the dog not to greet other people, say "greet" or whatever word you have taught the dog and ensure that the greet word means that the dog is allowed to greet another person.
8 Teach your dog to take no note of cats, food on the ground, a stranger talking to the dog or vehicles (especially moving vehicles). Teach your dog to take no note of cats, food on the ground, a stranger talking to the dog or vehicles (especially moving vehicles). The one and only thing that the dog is supposed to care about is you.
9 Teach the dog at least three tasks that you need help with because of your disability. Teach the dog at least three tasks that you need help with because of your disability. For example, you may need your dog to pick up your keys if you drop them, to calm you down when you're having a meltdown, or to help you know that there is or is not an intruder in your home. Things that a dog can do without being trained, like playing with you to make you happy, are not considered a valid service dog task.
10 Certify your service dog. Certify your service dog. You don't have to certify the dog if you live in the United States. But most countries require service dog certification (especially in order to allow your dog entry to places most dogs cannot go). Here is a suggested way to go about getting your dog certified: See you doctor and have your doctor write a letter that says that you need a service dog. Then see a vet to let them test your dog to see if it is ready to be a certified service dog. Let the vet write a letter too. Read the instructions of the certifying body and meet any of their additional requirements. Send the letters and other required information to the relevant organisation that has the authority to register a service dog.
Tips
You may be able to get dog-loving members of the family to help you train the dog but care must be taken that the dog does not attach himself to them and not to you alone. Call an organisation that trains service dogs to ask for help if they're not able to provide you with a dog or training. They might be able to make suggestions over the phone or by email if you discover problems during your training.
Warnings
Be realistic. If your disability prevents you from training a dog, then don't attempt it as it takes a lot of time and effort, as well as discipline to train a dog to an adequate level to be a service dog. Moreover, if you just need company, the dog won't need such a high level of training.
Things You'll Need
Clicker training equipment Dog handling manuals for additional tips Perseverance – it takes time to train a dog to the high standard required for being a service dog
*************************** Southern Fried Catfish Nuggets Total Time: 40 mins Prep Time: 10 mins Cook Time: 30 mins
Ingredients:
Servings: 5-6
1 -2 lb catfish nuggets 1 egg 2 cups buttermilk (can use regular or lowfat milk) 3 cups cornmeal salt and pepper (other seasonings you want) oil
Directions:
1 Put oil in a skillet until it is halfway up or you can use a deep fryer, a deep fryer is actually best for these. Heat until hot or if using skillet use medium high heat. 2 In a large bowl beat egg with a fork, add buttermilk to it. Beat again to incorporate. 3 In another big bowl put cornmeal and seasonings to taste. 4 Rinse nuggets and dip into milk mixture, depending on how many you have you could probably fit them all in at one time. 5 Take a few out of the milk and dip in to the cornmeal, roll around to get it coated good, then put into oil. 6 If using skillet put them in until skillet is full. fry 3 minutes, turn and fry another 2-3 minutes. If using a deep fryer fry 5 minutes, about halfway through stir them around to break up any that might have clumped together. They are done when golden brown and flake easily with a fork.
*************************** To Die For Blueberry Muffins
"These muffins are extra large and yummy with the sugary-cinnamon crumb topping. I usually double the recipe and fill the muffin cups just to the top edge for a wonderful extra-generously-sized deli style muffin. Add extra blueberries too, if you want!" Prep Time:15 Min Cook Time:25 Min Ready In:40 Min
Yield 8 large muffins
Ingredients
2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 cup and 2 tablespoons white sugar 3/4 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon baking powder 1/2 cup vegetable oil 1-1/2 egg 1/2 cup milk 1-1/2 cups fresh blueberries 3/4 cup white sugar 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1/4 cup and 2 tablespoons butter, cubed 2-1/4 teaspoons ground cinnamon
Directions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Grease muffin cups or line with muffin liners. Combine 1 1/2 cups flour, 3/4 cup sugar, salt and baking powder. Place vegetable oil into a 1 cup measuring cup; add the egg and enough milk to fill the cup. Mix this with flour mixture. Fold in blueberries. Fill muffin cups right to the top, and sprinkle with crumb topping mixture.
To Make Crumb Topping: Mix together 1/2 cup sugar, 1/3 cup flour, 1/4 cup butter, and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon. Mix with fork, and sprinkle over muffins before baking.
Bake for 20 to 25 minutes in the preheated oven, or until done.
Nutritional Information
Amount Per Serving Calories: 383 | Total Fat: 16.1g | Cholesterol: 43mg
*************************** Zucchini Stuffed with Smoked Turkey
Hollowed-out zucchini make tasty containers for all sorts of fillings. This one is particularly good for an easy supper.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 30 minutes Cooking time: 20 minutes 2 pounds zucchini 3 tablespoons butter or margarine 1 cup finely chopped onion 1/4 cup thinly sliced celery 1/4 cup finely chopped green or red pepper 1/4 cup finely chopped walnuts 1 1/2 cups smoked turkey 1 (8-ounce) can whole tomatoes, chopped 1 cup fresh whole wheat bread crumbs 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
Heat the oven to 350 degrees. Cut the zucchini in half lengthwise. Scoop out the seeds and pulp with a spoon, leaving a 1/4-inch-thick shell. Chop the zucchini pulp and reserve.
Cover the bottom of a large frying pan with about 1/2 inch of water. Add salt and bring to the boil over high heat. Add the zucchini shells and lower the heat to a simmer. Cook, covered, for 5 minutes, until the shells are bright green and partially cooked. It may be necessary to cook the shells in 2 batches.
Remove the zucchini shells to a colander and rinse with cold water. Pat dry and put the shells in a baking dish.
Heat the butter in a large frying pan over medium heat. Add the onions, celery, peppers, walnuts and reserved zucchini pulp and cook for 5 or 6 minutes until the onions are just tender. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the smoked turkey, tomatoes, breadcrumbs and black pepper. Mound the mixture into the zucchini.
Combine the mozzarella and Parmesan in a bowl. Sprinkle over the stuffed zucchini shells. Bake for about 25 minutes, until the zucchini is heated through and the cheese is golden.
***************************
Beef Chili-'n-Cheddar-Topped Potatoes
Try these yummy potatoes. This will be a hit with everyone in the family.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 8 minutes Cooking time: 13 minutes
1 1/2 pound ground beef 4 medium (8 oz each) baking potatoes 1 tablespoon chili powder 1 can (15 ounces) hot chili beans 1 1/2 cups Cheddar cheese, shredded, divided 1/4 cup sliced green onions
Pierce potatoes with fork. Microwave on HIGH 11 to 13 minutes or until tender, rotating 1/4 turn after 6 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes.
Meanwhile in large nonstick skillet, brown ground beef over medium-high heat 6 to 8 minutes or until beef is no longer pink, breaking up into 3/4 inch crumbles. Pour off drippings. Season with chili powder and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Stir in beans and 1 cup cheese; heat through, stirring occasionally.
Cut lengthwise slit in potatoes; fluff inside of potato with fork. Season with salt and pepper, if desired. Spoon equal amount of beef mixture over each potato. Top with remaining cheese and green onions. ***************************
Freshly Fresh Strawberry Muffins
"These moist and tasty muffins are made with tangy strawberry yogurt and fresh strawberries. A perfect breakfast treat."
Prep Time: 10 Min Cook Time:15 Min Ready In:25 Min
Yield 12 muffins
Ingredients
1/2 cup butter 1/2 cup white sugar 2 eggs 1/2 cup buttermilk 1 (8 ounce) container strawberry flavored yogurt 1 tablespoon lemon juice 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon baking powder 1 1/2 cups chopped strawberries
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 12 cup muffin tin, or line with paper liners. In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the buttermilk, yogurt, and lemon juice. Combine the flour and baking powder; stir into the yogurt mixture until just blended. Fold in strawberries. Spoon the batter into the prepared muffin cups. Bake for 15 to 18 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the top springs back when lightly touched. Cool in the pan over a wire rack.
Nutritional Information
Amount Per Serving Calories: 227 | Total Fat: 8.9g | Cholesterol: 56mg
***************************
Lemon-Blueberry Muffins Active Time: 15 Minutes Total Time: 45 Minutes Bake a lighter, low-calorie muffin.
INGREDIENTS 1 cup blueberries, picked over, washed or use frozen blueberries well drained 2 tsp. baking powder 3/4 cup low-fat 1.5 yogurt 1 tbsps. grated lemon zest 1 3/4 cups sifted all-purpose flour 2/3 c. sugar 2 eggs, well beaten 1/4 c. melted butter or canola 1/4 c. lemon juice DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 400o. Insert paper liners in muffin tins or grease lightly with vegetable shortening. Spread blueberries on paper towels to blot up water. Sift flour with sugar and baking powder into mixing bowl. In second bowl, beat eggs well; beat in yogurt, melted butter, lemon zest and juice. Stir into dry ingredients only to mix; batter should be lumpy. Fold in berries. DO NOT OVERMIX OR MUFFINS WILL BE TOUGH. Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until tops are rounded and browned. Immediately loosen muyffins with spatula. Serve hot or cool on rack. Freeze in single layer on baking sheet. Store in resealable plastic bag. Makes 12 medium muffins.
*************************** Cranberry Orange Scones Yield: 10 Scones INGREDIENTS
For the Scones: 2 cups all-purpose flour 10 teaspoons sugar, divided 1 tablespoon grated orange peel 2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon baking soda 1/3 cup cold butter or margarine 1 cup dried cranberries 1/4 cup orange juice 1/4 cup half-and-half cream 1 egg 1 tablespoon milk
For the Glaze: 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar 1 tablespoon orange juice
For the Orange Butter: 1/2 cup butter, softened 2 to 3 tablespoons orange marmalade DIRECTIONS In a bowl, combine flour, 7 teaspoons sugar, orange peel, baking powder, salt and baking soda. Cut in butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs; set aside.
In a small bowl, combine cranberries, orange juice, cream and egg. Add to flour mixture and stir until a soft dough forms.
On a floured surface, gently knead 6-8 times. Pat dough into an 8-in. circle. Cut into 10 wedges. Separate wedges and place on an ungreased baking sheet.
Brush with milk; sprinkle with remaining sugar. Bake at 400 degrees F for 12-15 minutes or until lightly browned.
Combine glaze ingredients; drizzle over scones. Combine orange butter ingredients; serve with warm scones.
***************************
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks, "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot. She smiled happily and said, "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?" He said, "I'm Just Kidding!" His eye is still swollen...but it should get better soon. *************************** Over the weekend, Steve bought a new car. He was so excited about it that he had to take a picture of it to bring to work with him to show everyone. The picture was a Polaroid snapshot of his wife sitting in one of the front seats.
Steve crowed as he showed the picture to co-worker Jim, "It's got power steering, anti-lock brakes, cruise control and a driver's side air bag."
Jim squinted at the picture. Having never seen Steve's wife before, he asked, "Who's that?"
"Oh," said Steve with a grin, "another feature, my passenger-side wind bag!"
***************************
A man is forced to seek a doctor's advice because his breath smells terrible.
The doctor examines him and says: "Either stop biting your nails or stop scratching your hemorrhoids!"
***************************
The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom window, gazing at the stars.
"Come to bed, darling," she whispered after some time had passed.
"Not likely," replied the blonde groom, "my mother told me that this would be the best night of my life and I'm not going to miss a minute of it."
***************************
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
***************************
The colonel came down to breakfast New Year's morning with a bandaged hand.
"Why, colonel, what's the matter?" they asked.
"Confound it all!" the colonel answered, "we had a little party last night, and one of the younger men got intoxicated and stepped on my hand."
*************************** A clergyman was once sent for in the middle of the night by one of his woman parishioners.
"Well, my good woman," said he, "so you are ill and require the consolations of religion? What can I do for you?"
"No," replied the old lady, "I am only nervous and can't sleep!"
"But how can I help that?" said the parson.
"Oh, sir, you always put me to sleep so nicely when I go to church that I thought if you would only preach a little for me!"
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Open yourself to Me. Let My Love heal your wounds and open your heart. -- GOD
On the Light Side
"No one lights a lamp and hides it! Instead, he puts it on a lamp stand to give light to all who enter the room."1 Lieutenant John Eisenhower, son of the late General Dwight Eisenhower, was a member of his father's staff during Word War II. On one occasion General Eisenhower gave his son a message to deliver to a colonel on the front line. The young lieutenant said to the colonel, "My dad says to watch your right flank." The puzzled officer replied, "Really? And what does your mommy say?" Obviously the colonel didn't know who young Eisenhower was. Eisenhower didn't make himself known. He hid his light under a bushel as it were. While we don't want to drop names or ride on somebody else's coattails, nor make any kind of an impact in our circle of influence, it is important that we are known for who we are—not by rank or title—but by our fruit. That is, do people know that I'm a Christian—do they "see" Jesus in me—or do I just melt into the surrounding group in which I find myself, and thereby hide my light under a bushel? No matter how small our light is, "All the darkness in the world cannot put out the light of one small candle."
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to be as Jesus to someone today. Let them see your light shining through me. And in the words of the hymn writer, 'May your beauty rest upon me, As I seek the lost to win, And may they forget the channel, Seeing only Him .' Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus name, amen."
1. Luke 11:33 (TLB) (NLT).
******************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
overslaugh OH-ver-slaw , verb; 1. To pass over or disregard (a person) by giving a promotion, position, etc., to another instead.
Quotes: I have asked his attention to the fact that he himself was one of the most active instruments at one time in breaking down the Supreme Court of the State of Illinois, because it had made a decision distasteful to him-a struggle ending in the remarkable circumstance of his sitting down as one of the new Judges who were to overslaugh that decision-getting his title of Judge in that very way. -- Abraham Lincoln, Lincoln-Douglas Debates He will overslaugh Taft, who should be first, and everybody else. This would be unfortunate, of course, but I think above all that Clemens's feeling should be respected. -- William Dean Howells, George Arms, Selected letters: Volume 5; Volumes 1902-1911
Origin: Overslaugh derives from the Dutch overslaan, with slaan meaning "to strike."
*******************************
Bill Watterson "When birds burp, it must taste like bugs."
W. Clement Stone "What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"
Jay London "I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it."
****************************** How to Tie a Zeppelin Knot
A zeppelin knot is one of the strongest, most secure knots which you can use to tie two pieces of rope together. It is easy to undo, doesn't jam and only takes a minute to learn!
Steps
Take the two pieces of rope and place them with the ends facing each other. Take the two pieces of rope and place them with the ends facing each other.
On the left rope, take the end of the rope down, forming a loop, and pass it above the rest of the rope to make a figure "6" shape. On the left rope, take the end of the rope down, forming a loop, and pass it above the rest of the rope to make a figure "6" shape.
On the right rope, take the end of the rope up, forming a loop, and pass it below the rest of the rope to make a figure "9" shape. On the right rope, take the end of the rope up, forming a loop, and pass it below the rest of the rope to make a figure "9" shape.
Place the "6" on top of the "9", lining up the holes. Place the "6" on top of the "9", lining up the holes.
Pass the end of the "6" through the top of both holes and out the other side. Pass the end of the "6" through the top of both holes and out the other side.
Pass the end of the "9" through the bottom of both holes and out the other side. Pass the end of the "9" through the bottom of both holes and out the other side.
Pull the rope together, until a "+" (plus sign) shape is formed. Pull the rope together, until a "+" (plus sign) shape is formed. Tease the rope into position until secure.
Warnings
Before relying on this rope for any task, especially important safety conscious activities such as rock climbing, ensure that you can tie it efficiently, and ensure that you compare it to other knots to make sure it's the best type of knot to use for your situation.
Things You'll Need
Rope
******************************* Lemon-Pepper Steaks
Butter, garlic and herbs bring out the best in beef steaks. They are simply done and simply satisfying.
PREP TIME5 Min TOTAL TIME20 Min SERVINGS4
INGREDIENTS
4 beef sirloin or rib eye steaks, 1 inch thick (about 2 lb) 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt 1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted 2 tablespoons chopped fresh or 1 tablespoon dried basil leaves 2 teaspoons lemon-pepper seasoning 2 medium bell peppers (any color), cut lengthwise in half, seeded
1Brush grill rack with vegetable oil. Heat coals or gas grill for direct heat. 2Trim fat on beef steaks to 1/2-inch thickness if necessary. Sprinkle garlic salt over beef. In small bowl, mix butter, basil and lemon-pepper seasoning; brush over beef and bell pepper halves. 3Cover and grill beef and bell peppers over medium heat 12 to 16 minutes, turning once, for medium beef doneness. Brush tops of steaks with butter mixture. Cut bell peppers into strips; serve over beef.
Expert Tips One of the best ways to keep steaks moist and juicy is to make sure the grill is hot before adding the steaks. A hot grill quickly sears the outside of the meat and seals in the juices. Serve with a mixed green salad and crusty rolls. *******************************
The Lady and Son's Smoked Boston Butt Roast
Total Time:3 hr 20 min Prep20 min Cook3 hr 0 min
Yield:6 TO 8 servings
Ingredients 1 (5-pound) pork butt roast 4 tablespoons House Seasoning, recipe follows 2 tablespoons seasoned salt 4 tablespoons liquid smoke, found in grocery store 1 medium onion, sliced 1 cup water 3 bay leaves Barbeque sauce of choice, for serving
Directions Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Sprinkle 1 side of the roast with 2 tablespoons of the House Seasoning, making sure to rub well. Flip the roast over and rub the remaining 2 tablespoons of House Seasoning. Repeat the process with the seasoned salt and liquid smoke. Place the roast in a large roasting pan. Add the onion, water and bay leaves to the roast. Place in the oven and cook for 2 1/2 to 3 hours, or until thermometer reads 170 degrees F. Let meat cool for a few minutes and then slice.
Serve with your favorite barbeque sauce
House Seasoning: 1 cup salt 1/4 cup black pepper 1/4 cup garlic powder *******************************
Baby Heirloom Tomato and Cucumber Salad
Total Time:35 min Prep25 min Cook10 min Yield:4 servings
Ingredients
1/4 pound country bread, cut into roughly 1-inch cubes 5 tablespoons basil infused olive oil Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper 1/3 cup aged balsamic vinegar 2 pounds assorted mixed baby heirloom tomatoes 1 cucumber, peeled and seeded, if necessary
Directions Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. In a large bowl, toss the bread cubes with 2 tablespoons of the basil olive oil and season with salt and pepper, to taste. Arrange on a baking sheet and bake for 5 minutes, then toss the bread cubes and bake until golden, another 3 to 5 minutes. In a small saucepan, over low heat add the balsamic and simmer until reduced by half. Cut the smaller tomatoes in half, quarter the medium tomatoes and slice the larger tomatoes. Cut the cucumber, lengthwise in half, and slice it into half moons or dice it into cubes. In a large serving bowl, mix the tomatoes, cucumbers and remaining oil and season with salt and pepper, to taste. Add the bread cubes and toss. Drizzle with the reduced balsamic and serve.
******************************* Cucumber, Tomato, Mint Salad
Total Time:1 hr 10 min Prep10 min Inactive1 hr 0 min Yield:5 servings
Ingredients 10 ounces goat cheese 2 to 4 ripe tomatoes 4 medium sized cucumbers, thinly sliced 2 small white onions (Vidalia will work great for this if they are available), julienned 20 mint leaves 1/2 cup white vinegar 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil Salt and pepper
Directions In a large mixing bowl crumble goat cheese. Add tomatoes, cucumbers and onions to bowl. Cut mint leaves chiffonade-style into shreds and add to salad. Add vinegar and olive oil. Mix well. Add salt and pepper, to taste. Refrigerate for 1 hour, then serve.
******************************* Smoking a Boston Butt
When it comes to BBQ, nothing is better than a good smoked Boston Butt on the grill. It is great with sandwiches or just plain with a selection of salads, breads, grilled vegetables, and a fantastic dessert to seal the deal. This recipe is a great recipe the results in a moist, juicy, and tender smoked Boston Butt. Try it out and let us know what you think!
Ingredients: - Boston Butt – about 8-10lbs of pork – pick one with the bone in Then you will need a rub for your butt made up of: - 4 teaspoons salt - 4 teaspoons garlic powder - 4 teaspoons onion powder - 4 tablespoons paprika - 2 teaspoons cumin - 3 teaspoons black pepper - 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper – a little more if you like your butt with a little kick If you want to have more of a sweet flavor to your butt, you can add to the rub mix - 5 tablespoons of dark brown sugar Adding brown sugar gives the meat a sweet taste, but will also cause the meat to turn a dark color as you cook it as the sugar caramelizes. Cooking without the brown sugar results in more of a salty flavor and the meat will be a deep red color. It is just a matter of taste and what you like. Mix all these ingredients together as the rub for your smoked Boston Butt. This will store for weeks in an airtight container in your refrigerator.
Cooking Instructions 1- Apply a thin coat of mustard to the butt. You can use the cheap stuff or if you like it a little more tangy, use dijon mustard. The mustard provides some flavor, but also provides a base for the rub to stick to. 2- Generously rub your butt with the rub recipe above. If you plan ahead, you can wrap it up and let it sit overnight in the refrigerator to allow the spices to penetrate the meat. 3- If you prefer, inject your smoked Boston Butt with apple juice to add flavor and to keep it moist as you cook 4- Heat your BBQ to 225F degrees and put your butt on the grill. Indirect heat works the best and add your favorite soaked wood chips to add the smoked flavor 5- Plan on cooking the smoked Boston Butt about an hour for every pound in the roast. 6- Every 2 1/2 hours, open it up and turn the roast to ensure even cooking. Mop your roast with combination of apple juice and olive oil to keep it moist 7- The meat is done when the internal temperature is above 190F degrees. The lower you keep the temperature, the more moist the meat will be. 8- Let the smoked Boston Butt sit for about an hour after you take it off the grill so you don’t burn your fingers as you pull the meat. 9- Serve with your favorite sides, salads, and drinks.
You may consider cooking 2-3 smoked Boston Butts as your whole neighborhood will be stopping by to check what is cooking because of smells that will have tempted them all day long.
******************************* Glorious Sponge Cake
Original Recipe Yield 1 - 9 inch tube cake
Ingredients
6 eggs 1 cup white sugar 1/4 cup water 1 teaspoon lemon extract 1 teaspoon lemon zest 1 cup cake flour 1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar 1/4 teaspoon salt
Directions
Separate the eggs. In a large mixing bowl, beat egg yolks until very thick and lemon colored. Beat in sugar gradually. Add water, lemon extract and lemon rind. Beat in flour. In another bowl, beat egg whites until frothy. Then add cream of tartar and salt. Beat mixture until whites are stiff, but not until they are dry. Fold this whipped mixture into yolk mixture. Pour batter into an ungreased 9 inch tube pan. Bake at 325 degrees F (165 degrees C) for one hour, or until done.
******************************* The first time I met my wife, she was an intense aerobics instructor at my health club and I was an out-of-shape new member. After one grueling workout, I gasped, "This is really helping me get toned." She looked me up and down. Feeling self-conscious, I added, "Big men run in my family."
She raised an eyebrow, "Apparently not enough." . ******************************* Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?" ******************************* My mother is on staff at the Department of Motor Vehicles, and one day a close friend of hers came in to apply for a driver's license. While entering the information into a computer, my mom noticed the woman had given 150 pounds as her weight. Knowing she weighed considerably more, my mom commented, "You're putting down your weight as 150?"
"If a policeman pulls me over," her friend said with a grin, "that's the part of me he'll see." ******************************* "They tell me you're working 'ard night an' day, Sarah?" her bosom friend Ann said.
"Yes," returned Sarah. "I'm under bonds to keep the peace for pullin' the whiskers out of that old scoundrel of a husban' of mine, and the Magistrate said that if I come afore 'im ag'in, or laid me 'ands on the old man, he'd fine me forty shillin's!"
"And so you're working 'ard to keep out of mischief?"
"Not much; I'm workin' 'ard to save up the fine!"
******************************* "That's rather a handsome mantelpiece you have there, Mr. Binkston," said the visitor.
"Yes," replied Mr. Binkston, proudly. "That is a memorial to my wife."
"Why—I was not aware that Mrs. Binkston had passed away," said the visitor sympathetically.
"Oh no, indeed, she hasn't," smiled Mr. Binkston. "She is serving her thirtieth sojourn in jail. That mantelpiece is built of the bricks she was convicted of throwing."
******************************* Some time ago an English friend of Colonel W.J. Lampton's living in New York and having never visited the South, went to Virginia to spend a month with friends. After a fortnight of it, he wrote back:
"Oh, I say, old top, you never told me that the South was anything like I have found it, and so different to the North. Why, man, it's God's country."
The Colonel, who gets his title from Kentucky, answered promptly by postal.
"Of course it is," he wrote. "You didn't suppose God was a Yankee, did you?"
*****************************
Distinction between Guts and Balls
There is a distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?' BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby'. I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome. Both could result in grievous injuries. . ******************************
Subject: Gasoline ... depressing
The price of Gas versus Printer Ink
All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are....
You will be really shocked by the last one! (At least, I was...) Compared with Gasoline...... Think a gallon of gas is expensive?
This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective.
Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ..........$9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..... $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 ......... $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ...... $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ... $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ....... . $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 .....$84.48 per gallon
And this is the REAL KICKER...
Evian water 9 oz $1.49..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don't even know the source
(Evian spelled backwards is Naive.) Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?
So they have you hooked for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink at............... (you won't believe it....but it is true........) $5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)
So, the next time you're at the pump,be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!
Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump...
And - If you don't pass this along to at least one person, your muffler will fall off!!
Okay, your muffler won't really fall off...but, you might run out of toilet paper
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Need A Raise Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you? Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you? Employee: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years. Boss: Yes. Employee: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first. Boss: A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time. Employee: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro- activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade. Boss: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound? Employee: Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir! Boss: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you? Employee: Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
"Seek diligently for something to be glad and thankful about in every happening and soon no search will be required." -- GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
Questioning God
Genesis 25:22, NIV: "The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, "Why is this happening to me?" So she went to inquire of the LORD." It has been some time since my children were under five years of age. It seems that age is a curious age. So many questions--so much to learn. "Why is the sky blue?" "Where do birds come from?" "How big is God?" Asking questions is just a sign of a growing mind. And that is a good reason for us, as God's children to ask Him all the questions on our hearts. "What am I here for?" "Why do people not see how wonderful You are?" "Why did she have to die?" There is no question too large for God. And yes, He can even handle the ones that are tough for you to ask. He understands you do not question His motives, but that you simply desire to understand. There's no doubt we will not get all the answers, and that we will simply miss some others. But we should not be afraid to ask. If an earthly parent can try to answer all the questions of a child, how much more our Heavenly Father?
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. - Genesis 1:26
********************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
mundify MUHN-duh-fahy , verb; 1. To purge or purify.
Quotes: The cleric, fatigued and mumpish, scolded her, saying that a woman of her burdensome years should return home and mundify her morphewed sins. -- Edward Dahlberg, The Olive of Minerva: Or, The Comedy of a Cuckold Vigorous efforts to mundify old nasty habits should find priority as a substruction on which the edifice of the efforts of humanising the police should be built. -- Praveen Kumar, Indian Police
Origin: Mundify is built from two Latin roots, mundi-, "to clean," and ficare, "to do."
********************************** You might be a REDNECK if... ...your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
"What you get by reaching your destination is not nearly as important as what you will become by reaching your destination." - Zig Ziglar
THINGS TO PONDER: If I break the laws of Physics do I go to jail?
CONFUCIOUS SAYS: If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?
****************************** Coconut Drop Cookies Active Time: 20 Minutes Total Time: 1 Hour 30 Minutes Yield: Makes 4 dozen cookies
INGREDIENTS 6 cups shredded coconut 5 cups granulated sugar 3 cups all-purpose flour 6 eggs 1/4 cup melted unsalted butter 1 tablespoon light rum 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
DIRECTIONS In the large bowl of an electric mixer, combine all of the ingredients and beat until thoroughly mixed. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for 1 hour. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment or wax paper. Roll the cookie dough into 1-inch balls and place them 2 inches apart on the baking sheet. Bake for 10 minutes, or until browned on the bottom and around the edges. Cool the cookies on a wire rack. Store in an airtight container.
********************************
Steak Fajitas with Black Beans and Spicy Red Rice Active Time: 25 Minutes Total Time: 1 Hour 10 Minutes Yield: Serves 4
Fajitas mean "belts" in Spanish, referring to the strips of meat that are usually marinated and grilled. Although the popular fajitas are often thought of as Mexican, they originated in the San Antonio region of Texas during 1800's. The flavor of fajitas will be enhanced if you plan ahead and marinate them over night. Here we use sirloin rather than the traditional skirt steak, which is a tougher cut; leaner cuts are typically used for especially tender, tasty fajitas. If you cannot find smoky barbecue sauce, use a regular sauce. To simplify this recipe, serve this dish with just flour tortillas rather than rice; you can also substitute guacamole, diced tomatoes, or Pico de Gallo salsa for the beans. Serve with grated cheese and chopped onion on the side if you wish.
INGREDIENTS For Marinade and Steaks: 1 bottle dark beer, such as Negra Modelo or Dos Equis 1 jalapeno chile, minced 6 scallions, sliced 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 tablespoons soy sauce 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro Pinch of ground cumin Pinch of dried oregano 4 top sirloin steaks, about 8 ounces each, sliced into thin strips about 3 inches long and 1/2 inch wide 3 cups cooked black beans
For Rice: 1/2 teaspoon dried ground oregano 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin 3 tablespoons butter 2 garlic cloves, minced 1/2 onions, minced 1 1/2 cup white rice, rinsed in cold water and drained 1 1/2 tablespoon pure red chile powder 3/4 teaspoon salt
For Fajitas: 2 tablespoons peanut oil 1 red onion, sliced 1 poblano chile or green bell pepper, seeded and julienned 1 red bell pepper, seeded and julienned Juice of 1 orange Juice of 1 lime 8 flour tortillas For Garnish: Chopped fresh cilantro leaves 1/4 cup (4 tablespoons) sour cream 1 avocado, pitted, quartered, and sliced 1 lime, cut into wedges
DIRECTIONS FOR MARINADE AND STEAKS: Thoroughly mix together all the marinade ingredients in a glass dish. Add the sliced sirloin add toss together to coat thoroughly. Cover and marinate for at least 4 hours and preferably overnight in the refrigerator. Remove the dish from the refrigerator and let sit at room temperature for at least 1 hour before cooking. Prepare the beans and keep warm.
TO PREPARE RICE: Place the oregano and cumin in a dry, heavy skillet and toast over low heat, stirring frequently, for about 1 minute, until fragrant. Set aside. Melt the butter in a sauté pan or skillet. Add the garlic and onions, and sauté over medium-low heat for 8 minutes, until soft. Stir in the rice, 3 1/2 cups of water, chile powder, and salt, and bring to a boil. Cook for 2 minutes, lower the heat to a simmer, and cover the pan. Simmer the rice for 25 minutes, until the liquid is absorbed. Remove the pan from the heat and let stand for 5 minutes. Keep warm. Fluff with a fork before serving.
TO PREPARE FAJITAS: Heat the oil in a heavy-bottomed skillet. Remove the meat from the marinated, drain, and pat dry. Place the marinated steak in the hot pan and sauté for 3 minutes, stirring frequently, until browned. Remove the meat from the pan and keep warm. Add the onion, poblano chile, and red bell pepper to the same pan, season with salt and pepper, and sauté over medium-high heat for 4 minutes, until soft. Add the sautéed steak, orange juice, and lime juice, and toss together. Warm the tortillas on a griddle or in a dry skillet. Place in a basket and cover with a towel to keep warm. Place the beans and rice in separate serving dishes and garnish with cilantro.
TO SERVE: The guests should transfer some of the rice and beans to their plates. Then they should take a warm tortilla, place some of the fajita mixture in the center, and garnish with the sour cream and cilantro. A little of the avocado and sprinkling with a lime wedge should be added. After the tortilla has been rolled up, it can be eaten by hand. (Serve 2 tortillas per person.)
************************************* Blueberry Streusel Pie
Active Time: 25 Minutes Total Time: 4 Hours Yield: 8 servings A crunchy, lemony topping crowns this appealing summer dessert.
INGREDIENTS
For Crust: 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon sugar 1/8 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon butter 3 tablespoons canola oil 1-2 tablespoons ice water
For Streusel topping: 3/4 cup all-purpose flour 1/4 cup sugar 1 teaspoon freshly grated lemon zest 1 tablespoon butter 1 tablespoon canola oil 1 tablespoon lemon juice
For Filling: 1/2 cup sugar 1 1/2 tablespoons “minute†tapioca 1 teaspoon freshly grated lemon zest 1 tablespoon lemon juice 5 cups fresh or frozen unsweetened blueberries DIRECTIONS To make crust: Stir together 1 cup flour, 1 tablespoon sugar and salt in a medium bowl. Melt 1 tablespoon butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Cook, swirling the pan, until the butter turns a nutty brown, about 30 seconds. Pour into a small bowl and let cool. Stir in 3 tablespoons oil. Using a fork, slowly stir the butter-oil mixture into the flour until the mixture is crumbly. Gradually stir in enough ice water so that the dough will hold together. Press the dough into a flattened disk. Place two overlapping lengths of plastic wrap on the work surface. Set the dough in the center and cover with two more sheets of plastic wrap. With a rolling pin, roll the dough into a circle about 12 inches in diameter. Remove the top sheets and invert the dough into a 9-inch pie pan. Gently press the dough into the bottom of the pie pan. Remove the remaining wrap. Fold the edges under and crimp. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and refrigerate while you prepare the streusel topping and filling.
To make streusel topping: Preheat oven to 375°F. Stir together 3/4 cup flour, 1/4 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon lemon zest in a bowl. Add 1 tablespoon butter, 1 tablespoon oil and lemon juice and work in with your fingertips until the mixture forms small crumbs; set aside.
To make filling and bake pie: Stir together 1/2 cup sugar and tapioca in a mixing bowl. Stir in 1 teaspoon lemon zest and 1 tablespoon juice. Add blueberries and stir gently to mix. Spoon the filling into the prepared crust. Cover loosely with foil and set in the middle of the oven, with a baking sheet placed on the rack below to catch any drips. Bake for 55 to 65 minutes, or until the berries are juicy and bubbling. (Frozen berries will take about 10 minutes longer). Uncover the pie, sprinkle evenly with the reserved streusel topping and bake for 12 to 15 minutes longer, or until the streusel is golden. Cool on a wire rack for 30 minutes, then cool completely in the refrigerator, about 2 hours.
****************************
Saucy Foil-Pack Barbecue Ribs
total time 1 hr 25 min prep 10 min servings 10 servings
what you need 3/4 cup BULL'S-EYE or KRAFT Original Barbecue Sauce 2 Tbsp. orange marmalade 2 tsp. hot pepper sauce 4 lb. pork baby back ribs, cut into 2-rib sections
make it HEAT grill to medium-high heat. MIX barbecue sauce, marmalade and pepper sauce until well blended. PLACE half the ribs in single layer in center of large sheet of heavy-duty foil. Bring up long sides of foil. Double fold both short ends of foil to seal, leaving top open. Add 1/4 cup water (or 1 ice cube) to foil packet through opening at top. Double fold top to seal packet, leaving room for heat circulation inside. Repeat with remaining ribs. GRILL on covered grill 45 min. to 1 hour or until ribs are done. Remove ribs from foil packets; return ribs to grill. Brush ribs with barbecue sauce mixture. Grill 15 min., turning occasionally and brushing occasionally with remaining sauce.
kraft kitchens tips SIZE-WISE Ribs are fun to make for a holiday or special event and share with friends and family. SUBSTITUTE For a sweet variation, brush cooked ribs with mixture of 1/4 cup each A.1. Original Steak Sauce, ketchup and apricot preserves.
**************************************
Beef Stewed In Beer Active Time: 30 Minutes Total Time: 2 Hours Yield: Makes 4 to 6 servings
INGREDIENTS 3 tablespoons flour salt and freshly ground black pepper 2 pounds boneless beef chuck, cut into 2-inch cubes 1/4 cup vegetable oil 2 tablespoons butter 8 medium onions, thinly sliced 12 ounces dark beer or ale, preferably Belgian or stout 1/4 cup beef broth 1 bay leaf 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed 2 teaspoons red currant jelly or brown sugar 2 teaspoons red wine vinegar 1/4 cup minced parsley for garnish
DIRECTIONS Season the flour with salt and pepper. Toss the beef cubes evenly with the mixture, shaking off excess and set aside for later. In a 4- to 5-quart heavy casserole or Dutch oven over medium heat, heat the oil until hot (when the beef hits the oil, the fat should sizzle). In 2 batches so as to not crowd the pan, brown the beef on all sides until a deep golden color and remove to a bowl. Add the butter to the oil and melt, then add the onions and cook, over medium high heat, stirring frequently for about 15 minutes or until the onions are soft and brown. Slowly add the beer and stock to the onions, scraping the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon, to lift up the drippings. Set the meat over the onions and add the bay leaf and thyme, and season with salt and pepper to taste. Bring the liquid to a simmer, cover and cook, over very low heat for 1 1/2 hours or until tender. Uncover the pot and the boil the liquid down a bit to thicken. Stir in the jelly or sugar and vinegar and simmer for another minute. Remove the bay leaf and adjust the
**************************************
Chicken Legs with Beer Barbecue Sauce Active Time: 20 Minutes Total Time: 55 Minutes Yield: Makes 4 servings
Enjoy the flavor of barbecued chicken without stoking up the grill! Just sauté chicken pieces instead, then simmer them in a piquant sauce.
INGREDIENTS For the Chicken: 2 pounds chicken drumsticks and/or thighs, skinned, if desired 1 tablespoon cooking oil 1/3 cup chopped onion For the Sauce: 1 cup chili sauce 1/2 cup beer 2 tablespoons brown sugar 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin 1/2 teaspoon prepared mustard 1/8 teaspoon pepper Few drops hot pepper sauce
FOR THE CHICKEN: Rinse chicken; pat dry. In a large skillet heat oil. Add chicken and cook, uncovered, over medium heat for 10-15 minutes, turning to brown evenly. Drain off fat. Add the onion to chicken and cook for 2-3 minutes.
FOR THE SAUCE: In a small mixing bowl combine the chili sauce, beer, brown sugar, cumin, mustard, pepper, and hot pepper sauce. Pour the sauce over the chicken. Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer, covered, for 20 minutes. Uncover and turn chicken. Simmer, uncovered, for 10-15 minutes more, or till chicken is tender and no pink remains. Transfer chicken to a serving platter; keep warm. Skim excess fat off sauce in skillet. If desired, simmer sauce, uncovered, to desired consistency. Pass sauce with meat.
**************************************
Big Bend Texas-Style Chili
Active Time: 15 Minutes Total Time: 1 Hour 15 Minutes Yield: Serves 6
The saying goes that there are as many chili recipes in Texas as there are Texans; why, even LBJ, the late president, had his own favorite recipe. There are many schools of thought when it comes to the subject of chili. Some purists favor chopped beef, others ground beef, as here; some swear by kidney beans, others dismiss them as an adulteration! Whatever their preferences, chili fans should know that every fall in Terlingua, a hamlet nestled in the mountainous Big Bend area of southwestern Texas, a national chili cookoff is held that arouses considerable passions. Grizzled old hands and aspiring cooks alike converge on the area from all quarters and enjoy one another's company as well as the world-class chili.
INGREDIENTS 2 tablespoons olive oil 5 garlic cloves, minced 2 onions, diced 1 1/2 pounds lean high-quality ground beef 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 2 tablespoons pure red chili powder 4 Roma tomatoes (about 8 ounces), blanched, peeled, and diced 1/2 cup tomato paste 1/2 cup beef stock 1 cup dark beer 2 tablespoons cider vinegar 3/4 teaspoon ground cumin 2 teaspoons minced oregano 1/4 cup minced parsley 1 can (15 ounces) red kidney beans, drained 4 ounces crumbled goat cheese, for garnish
DIRECTIONS FOR THE CHILI: Heat the olive oil in a arge saucepan. Add the garlic and onions, and saute over medium-high heat for 5 minutes. Add the beef and saute for 7 to 8 minutes longer, while stirring frequently, or until the beef is well browned on all sides. Season with salt and pepper, stir in the chili powder, and cook for 2 minutes more. Add the tomatoes, tomato paste, beef stock, beer, vinegar, cumin, oregano, and parsley, and stir well to combine.
Bring to a simmer, turn down the heat to low, and cook, covered, for 45 minutes. Add the beans and cook for 15 minutes longer, stirring occasionally. Ladle into serving bowls and sprinkle with the goat cheese.
WINE RECOMMENDATION: Since this dish contains dark beer, consider using the same beer as a beverage. A lighter style of red wine such as a Beaujolais or Italian Bardolino will also work well with this flavors.
HELPFUL TIPS: Most chili dishes actually taste better the next day, after the flavors have had time to marinate and marry. You can use black beans instead of kidney beans if you prefer, or a mixture of the two.
**************************************
Subject: Best Investment
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today! If you purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG, you would have $33.00. If you purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers, you would have $0.00 today. But, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer, drank all the beer, turned in the aluminum cans for recycling, you would have $214.00. Therefore the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg Plan. ***************************************
Take Down the Bird Feeder/THIS IS THE BEST!
This is the best analogy yet!
Leave it to Maxine to come up with a solution
For the economical mess that Canada is in now.
I bought a bird feeder. I hung It on my back porch and filled It with seed. What a beauty of A bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed.
Within a Week we had hundreds of birds Taking advantage of the Continuous flow of free and Easily accessible food.
But then the birds started Building nests in the boards Of the patio, above the table, And next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was Everywhere: on the patio tile, The chairs, the table ... Everywhere!
Then some of the birds Turned mean. They would Dive bomb me and try to Peck me even though I had Fed them out of my own Pocket.
And other birds were Boisterous and loud. They Sat on the feeder and Squawked and screamed at All hours of the day and night And demanded that I fill it When it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even Sit on my own back porch Anymore. So I took down the Bird feeder and in three days The birds were gone. I cleaned Up their mess and took down The many nests they had built All over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like It used to be .... Quiet, serene.... And no one demanding their Rights to a free meal..
Now let's see. Our government gives out Free food, subsidized housing, Free medical care and free Education, and allows anyone Born here to be an automatic Citizen.
Then the illegal's came by the Tens of thousands. Suddenly Our taxes went up to pay for Free services; small apartments Are housing 5 families; you Have to wait 10 hours to be seen By an emergency room doctor; Your child's second grade class is Behind other schools because Over half the class doesn't speak English.
I have to 'press one ' to hear my bank Talk to me in English, and People waving flags other Than ‘The Maple Leaf’ are Squawking and screaming In the streets, demanding More rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government To take down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not, Just continue cleaning up the poop
**************************************
Cowboy rules for: Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, and the rest of the Wild West are as follows: 1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked. 3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. 4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go. > 5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year. 6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. 8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop. 9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. 10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age. 11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey. 12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! 13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. 14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch. 15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish. 16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1! A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!! And there is more............. The COWBOY Solution to save Gasoline. OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we use..... The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants! That would be 15 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down..... Bring our troops home from Afghanistan to guard the borders.... When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Afghanistan .... Tell him if he wants to come to AMERICA then he must serve a tour in OUR military.... Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it...... After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country..... He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident..... This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. ....... If they refuse to serve, ship them to Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo. Problem solved..... If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends........... I just did.......... ************************************** Obama looked at Michelle, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy." Michelle shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy". Hearing their exchange, the pilot of plane said to his co-pilot," Such big-shots back there. I could throw both of them out of the window and make 256 million people very happy."!!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Facing Backward to Go Forward
"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."1
I have read that if flies are placed in a jar with air holes in the lid, they will fly frantically, banging into the lid, desperately trying to escape from their prison. If left there long enough, eventually they will stop hitting the lid. Later, if the lid is removed, they won't even try to escape.
Some of us are like the flies. Because of a traumatic or painful experience in our past, we have been "conditioned" to believe that we are trapped in a prison of helplessness without escape, so we are afraid to try again for fear of failure or of being hurt again.
To overcome, we need to acknowledge where we have been hurt and, if necessary, get into a recovery program to overcome our painful memories and unresolved feelings.
As Peter said, "So get rid of your feelings of hatred."2 The same principle applies to all negative feelings—especially the supercharged repressed negative emotions. Repressing or denying these feelings doesn't get rid of them. It only adds "interest" to them and makes matters worse. Furthermore, we can never truly "get rid of" a negative painful past until we have resolved it. Only then are we truly able to forgive any and all who have ever hurt us. Until we do this, we are still bound to and controlled by our past.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to resolve any hurts from the past that are affecting my life in any negative way. And, if necessary, find the help needed to do this, so that I can forgive any and all who have ever hurt me, and in so doing put all these matters behind me, and be free to fully live and fully love and to better serve you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV). 2. I Peter 2:1 (TLB)(NLT). ***************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
sarcophagus • sahr-KAH-fuh-gus • noun : a stone coffin; broadly : coffin
Examples: After archeologists unearthed the sarcophagus, they opened it up to discover, along with the king’s body, almost a hundred gold coins.
"Mark your calendars now for 'Ancient Egypt - Art and Magic.' It's a diverse collection from as far back as 6,000 years and includes precious jeweled objects, tomb reliefs and large mummy cases that held the remains of dignitaries and royalty, called sarcophagi."-- From an article in St. Petersburg Times (Florida), June 24, 2011
************************** How To Treat A Dog's Itchy Skin
Flea Allergy Dermatitis in Dogs By: Dr. Rosanna Marsalla
Flea allergy dermatitis is the most common allergy in dogs and is caused by flea bites, specifically the saliva of the flea. It is a very itchy disease and predisposes to the development of secondary skin infections.
Oddly enough, most animals with flea allergy have very few fleas – because they are so itchy, they groom themselves excessively, eliminating any evidence of fleas. However, a couple of flea bites every two weeks are sufficient to make a flea allergic dog itchy all the time. Any animal can become allergic to fleas, although some dogs are more attractive to fleas than others.
Fleas are bloodsucking insects with a life span of 6 to 12 months. This life span is influenced by environmental conditions and can vary from two to three weeks up to a year. Optimal conditions include humidity of 75 to 85 percent and temperature of 65 to 80 degrees Fahrenheit. Humidity is more important than the temperature.
The adult flea spends most of its life on the host, while the immature stages (eggs) are found in the environment.
What to Watch For
Severe itching Chewing and biting of the tail, rump, back legs and occasionally front legs Oozing lesions (lick granuloma) from chewing Hot spots on the hips or face, which is severe skin damage from scratching
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Atopy in Dogs By: Dr. Mark Thompson
Atopy is a pruritic (itchy) skin disease of animals that is caused by an allergy to substances in the environment that are contacted through the air, either by absorption through the respiratory tract or contact through the skin. Atopy is thought to be an inherited disease. It is the second most common allergic skin condition in dogs; only flea allergy dermatitis is more common.
Symptoms of atopy usually begin relatively early in life, often by one year of age. Symptoms usually are seasonal at first, with most dogs showing clinical signs in the summer months when airborne allergens (such as plant pollens) are present in higher concentrations. As atopic dogs age, their symptoms tend to become less seasonal as they become allergic to more substances. Eventually, their itchiness can occur year-round.
Dogs with atopy are usually itchy, particularly the hands and feet. The skin may be red and irritated due to scratching, and the ears may also be inflamed. The symptoms of food allergy are difficult to distinguish from those of atopy.
What to Watch For
Chewing at the paws Scratching the muzzle or rubbing it on the ground or with the paws Scratching the ears Shaking the head
Diagnosis
Diagnostic tests are necessary to rule out other skin diseases, as well as to support the diagnosis of atopy. These tests may include:
A complete medical history and perform a thorough physical examination, especially checking the ears and the skin of the face and paws. Often, abnormalities may not be detected on the physical examination of dogs with atopy. Occasionally, redness between the toes or around the muzzle of the face is the only finding.
Skin scrapings to eliminate other diagnoses such as demodectic or sarcoptic mange (caused by mites).
Fungal culture to rule out ringworm (also called dermatophytosis).
Skin testing (or occasionally blood testing) to determine specific allergens to which your pet may be allergic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pruritus (Itchiness) in Dogs By: Dr. Mark Thompson
If your dog spends a large portion of his time scratching, he may have a condition known as pruritus, or itching, an unpleasant sensation that causes your dog to scratch or bite at himself. It is caused by chemical reactions that occur in the skin and stimulate the nerves, causing the brain to feel the itch. In fact, the act of scratching itself may stimulate these inflammatory reactions in the skin and make the condition worse. Any skin condition that causes inflammation can cause pruritus.
How pruritus affects your dog's health depends on the degree of the pruritus. Mild pruritus may hardly have any effect at all. However, severe pruritus leads to intense scratching, which may result in painful skin lesions that may become infected. Your dog will often whimper or cry out and may have trouble sleeping.
Every dog has a threshold of pruritus or an "itch threshold." This is the point where all of the sources of itching finally add up to enough irritation to cause the irresistible urge to scratch. Scratching begins when the stimulation exceeds that threshold. For example, a dog with a mild allergy to house dust mites may be below the threshold but may begin to scratch severely when he becomes infested with fleas.
Pruritus is associated with other skin diseases, including secondary bacterial skin infections (pyoderma) and secondary yeast infections. But it is the main symptom of skin conditions like allergies and skin parasites.
What To Watch For
Scratching or biting. If this continues beyond one day and leads to lesions such as hair loss, reddening of the skin and obvious pain or discomfort, have your dog evaluated by your veterinarian.
Chronic licking of the feet is also a symptom of pruritus.
Diagnosis
Diagnostic tests may be needed to determine the cause of the pruritus. Your veterinarian will probably do the following:
A complete and thorough medical history A thorough physical examination Skin scrapings to rule out mange mites and other parasites Fungal cultures of hair to rule out dermatophytes (ringworm)
Treatment
The key to relief from pruritus is to identify and treat the underlying cause. Pruritus may be temporarily relieved with medication but the itching often recurs after the medication is finished. Temporary relief may come from the following:
Antihistamines Fatty acid supplements Soothing shampoos Corticosteroids
Home Care
Administer all veterinary prescribed medication as instructed by your veterinarian. Consult with your veterinarian to establish a complete flea control program.
Keep your dog's coat clean and brushed free of mats. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alopecia (Hair loss) in Dogs By: Dr. Mark Thompson
Section: Overview Alopecia is the complete or partial lack of hair in any area of the skin where hair would normally be found. It may be caused by self-trauma by scratching or chewing, hair follicle diseases that cause the hair to fall out, or the failure of hair to grow after normal loss.
Severe hair loss makes your dog more susceptible to the elements. In addition, some of the diseases that can cause alopecia may also have harmful effects on other organ systems of your dog.
What to Watch For
Hair loss Abnormal appearance of the skin
Diagnosis
As with any disease, a complete history is very important. Be prepared to answer questions such as:
How long has your pet had alopecia? How severe is the hair loss? Has any hair regrown? Does your dog itch? Have you used any medications and if so, were they helpful?
Following a complete history, your veterinarian will perform a thorough physical examination of the skin paying special attention to the pattern of alopecia, the appearance of the skin and how easy the hair comes out. A flea comb may be used to look for fleas, flea dirt or other parasites.
Diagnostic tests that may be needed to determine the cause of the alopecia include:
A trichogram. A microscopic exam of the hair may be done to determine if the hair is being pulled out or simply falling out.
Skin scrapings. Your veterinarian scrapes a blade against the skin to remove some surface cells to look for mange mites and other parasites.
A fungal culture. This determines whether ringworm is present.
A biopsy of the skin. A pathologist may examine the skin under a microscope to determine the type of alopecia that is present.
Treatment
There is no specific treatment for alopecia. Instead, treatment is aimed at eliminating the underlying cause of the problem.
Home Care and Prevention
Dogs with alopecia need to be kept groomed and free of fleas. If the hair loss is significant, some dogs may need to wear a sweater in the winter to protect them from cold weather. In the summer, sunburn may be a concern. If fleas are a problem, consult your veterinarian to discuss a comprehensive flea control program.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Food Allergy in Dogs By: Dr. Rosanna Marsalla Food allergy is an uncommon problem in dogs and it can start at any age. A change in diet is not necessary for development of food allergy. About 70 percent of affected pets develop allergies to food ingredients that they have been fed for a long time, usually more than two years. In fact, if your dog has an immediate adverse reaction to a new food, it is probably not an allergic reaction, because it takes more than one exposure to produce an allergic reaction.
Food ingredients most commonly responsible for allergies are beef, chicken, fish, eggs and milk. The tendency to develop allergies is genetically determined. Dogs with other allergies like inhalant allergies or atopy may be at increased risk for developing a food allergy.
The clinical symptoms of food allergy resemble those of other types of allergies. These two disorders may have the same clinical symptoms and the same distribution of itchiness or pruritus over the dog's body.
In some cases, it is impossible to differentiate between inhalant allergy and food allergy by clinical appearance alone.
Food allergy should be ruled out first because it is the easier of the two disorders to control by eliminating the offending food ingredient from the dog's diet. Food allergy is ruled out by feeding a diet consisting solely of food ingredients to which the animal has not been previously exposed – an elimination food trial. This trial should be performed before considering expensive tests for other types of allergies.
What to Watch For
Itchy (pruritic) skin, especially around the face, paws and ears Bad skin odor Excessive scaling Red bumps or papules Ear infections Self-inflicted skin trauma resulting from severe itching Diarrhea and vomiting, although most dogs with food allergy only develop skin problems
**************************
Baked Chicken & Peach
Makes4 servings
Talk about a chicken recipe that's downright peachy. When combined with peach preserves, this recipe will be the sweetest part of your day. Ingredients
16 oz. can beans baked with brown sugar 2 tbsp. catsup 1/2 cup peach preserves 2 tbsp. chopped onion 1/4 tsp. soy sauce 4 chicken thighs or breasts
Methods/steps Heat oven to 350 degrees. Combine beans, catsup, preserves, onion and soy sauce in a 10 x 6-inch baking dish. To coat chicken pieces evenly with sauce, nestle chicken in bean mixture, skin side down, then turn pieces skin side up; cover and bake 1 hour. Uncover and bake an additional 30 minutes, basting chicken with sauce occasionally.
Additional Tips Ready in 1 ¾ hour
************************** Picnic Macaroni Salad
total time 20 min prep 20 min ervings 8 servings
what you need 1 pkg. (7-1/4 oz.) KRAFT Macaroni & Cheese Dinner 1/2 cup KRAFT Real Mayo Mayonnaise 1/3 cup CLAUSSEN Sweet Pickle Relish 1/4 cup chopped onions 8 slices OSCAR MAYER Bacon, cooked, crumbled 1 tomato, chopped make it PREPARE Dinner in large saucepan as directed on package. STIR in remaining ingredients.
************************** Caramel-Pecan Brownies
total time 1 hr 15 min prep 20 min servings 32 servings
what you need 4 squares BAKER'S Unsweetened Chocolate 3/4 cup butter or margarine 2 cups sugar 4 eggs 1 cup flour 1 pkg. (14 oz.) KRAFT Caramels 1/3 cup whipping cream 2 cups PLANTERS Pecan Halves, divided
make it HEAT oven to 350°F.
1LINE 13x9-inch pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides. Grease foil. Microwave chocolate and butter in large microwaveable bowl on HIGH 2 min. or until butter is melted. Stir until chocolate is completely melted. Add sugar and eggs; mix well. Stir in flour until well blended. Spread half the batter into prepared pan. 2BAKE 25 min. or until top is firm to the touch. Meanwhile, microwave caramels and cream in medium microwaveable bowl on HIGH 2 min. or until caramels begin to melt; stir until caramels are completely melted. Stir in 1 cup nuts. 3SPREAD caramel mixture over brownie layer in pan; cover with remaining brownie batter. (Some caramel mixture may peek through.) Sprinkle with remaining nuts. Bake 30 min. or until top is firm to the touch. Cool in pan on wire rack. Lift brownies from pan with foil handles before cutting into squares.
kraft kitchens tips SIZE-WISE A serving of this sweet treat is 1 square. A small portion goes a long way on chocolate flavor. SHORTCUT Try our recipe for Easy Caramel Pecan Brownies with our easy-to-use KRAFT Caramel Bits. COOKING KNOW-HOW Since a glass baking dish conducts and retains heat better than a metal pan does, always reduce the oven temperature by 25ºF when baking in a glass baking dish.
**************************
Saucy Foil-Pack Barbecue Ribs
total time 1 hr 25 min prep 10 min servings 10 servings
what you need 3/4 cup BULL'S-EYE or KRAFT Original Barbecue Sauce 2 Tbsp. orange marmalade 2 tsp. hot pepper sauce 4 lb. pork baby back ribs, cut into 2-rib sections
make it HEAT grill to medium-high heat.
MIX barbecue sauce, marmalade and pepper sauce until well blended.
PLACE half the ribs in single layer in center of large sheet of heavy-duty foil. Bring up long sides of foil. Double fold both short ends of foil to seal, leaving top open. Add 1/4 cup water (or 1 ice cube) to foil packet through opening at top. Double fold top to seal packet, leaving room for heat circulation inside. Repeat with remaining ribs.
GRILL on covered grill 45 min. to 1 hour or until ribs are done. Remove ribs from foil packets; return ribs to grill. Brush ribs with barbecue sauce mixture. Grill 15 min., turning occasionally and brushing occasionally with remaining sauce.
kraft kitchens tipsSIZE-WISERibs are fun to make for a holiday or special event and share with friends and family. SUBSTITUTEFor a sweet variation, brush cooked ribs with mixture of 1/4 cup each A.1. Original Steak Sauce, ketchup and apricot preserves.
************************** Prosciutto Chicken Frittata
Active Time: 25 Minutes Total Time: 25 Minutes Yield: Serves 6 as an appetizer
INGREDIENTS 3 tablespoons butter 8 new potatoes, thinly sliced 1 red (Spanish) onion, sliced 3 oz prosciutto, thinly sliced 10 oz cooked chicken, shredded 1/3 cup drained sun-dried tomatoes in oil, sliced 8 eggs, lightly beaten salt and pepper 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese 1 cup grated jarlsberg cheese 1/2 cup shredded fresh basil
DIRECTIONS Heat 2 tablespoons of the butter in a shallow 10-inch nonstick frying pan. Add the potatoes to the pan and cook, turning occasionally, until golden brown and tender; remove from pan. Heat the remaining butter in the pan, add the onion and prosciutto cook, stirring, until the onion is soft. Return the potatoes to the pan, mix well and then press the mixture flat in the pan. Top with the tomatoes and chicken. Combine the eggs, salt and pepper, cheeses and basil and mix well. Gently pour the egg mixture over the chicken mixture in the pan. Cook over a low heat until the base is golden brown (about 10 minutes). Place the pan under a hot broiler (grill) to set and brown the top - cover the pan handle with foil if it is plastic. Loosen the edges of the frittata, turn onto plate or board and cut into wedges to serve.
************************** Potato & Ham Frittata Active Time: 20 Minutes Total Time: 20 Minutes Yield: Serve 4
INGREDIENTS 8 extra-large eggs 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 2 tablespoons milk Salt to taste Freshly ground white pepper to taste 1 small onion, thinly sliced 4 small red-skinned potatoes, sliced 1/8 inch thick 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 cup diced ham
DIRECTIONS Whisk the eggs vigorously. Mix in the mustard, milk, salt, and pepper. Heat the oven to 400 degrees F. In an ovenproof pan, thoroughly cook the onions and potatoes, in the olive oil. Turn the heat to medium high and pour the eggs into the pan. Let the eggs set for several seconds. With a heatproof rubber spatula, gently stir the eggs, starting from the center. This stirring makes the frittata puff up more in the oven. Lift the edges so that the eggs flow to the bottom. When the frittata is half-set, add the ham. Transfer the pan to the heated oven. Cook for about 10 minutes (less if you like runny eggs), until puffed and golden.
**************************
Ida Black had retired from the most select colored circles for a brief space, on account of a slight difficulty connected with a gentleman's poultry-yard. Her mother was being consoled by a white friend.
"Why, Aunt Easter, I was mighty sorry to hear about Ida—"
"Marse John, Ida ain't nuvver tuk dem chickens. Ida wouldn't do sich a thing! Ida wouldn't demeange herse'f to rob nobody's hen-roost—and, any way, dem old chickens warn't nothing't all but feathers when we picked 'em."
**************************
A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river. The brunette wants to get across.
She yells across to the blonde, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?"
The blonde shakes her head and yells back - "People like you really piss me off. You ARE on the other side!"
**************************
A series of deadbeat tenants made my friend Marie skittish about whom to rent to next. "I'm trying to decide between a woman and a man whose license plate says HOSTILE."
"Pick the woman," I suggested.
A few days later Marie told me, "I took your advice."
"And she doesn't have plates that read PSYCHO or anything, right?"
"Well, no, but her last name is Hazzard."
**************************
A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists."
**************************
Over the weekend, Steve bought a new car. He was so excited about it that he had to take a picture of it to bring to work with him to show everyone. The picture was a Polaroid snapshot of his wife sitting in one of the front seats.
Steve crowed as he showed the picture to co-worker Jim, "It's got power steering, anti-lock brakes, cruise control and a driver's side air bag."
Jim squinted at the picture. Having never seen Steve's wife before, he asked, "Who's that?"
"Oh," said Steve with a grin, "another feature, my passenger-side wind bag!"
**************************
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
| Page:
|
|
|
|
|
31 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
