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REMINDERS FROM GOD:
"Take heart. The way will open. My Spirit shall flow through and sweep away the bitter past." -- GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
You're Not Alone
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, KJV: "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor; For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." How many times have you felt that you were alone in your cause, your work, or your beliefs? Did you ever feel stronger because of it? Or did you feel isolated and like you just wanted to withdraw from the world for a while so you could get your strength back? Maybe you felt like your thoughts were yours alone and that no one else understood, and so you would just keep your mouth shut and wait for everything to blow over. You are not alone. God's plan for us is to have a support group of which He is the coordinator. He (not us), directs the course of His work. He shows us the what, where, who and how of something to be done. Then He provides us with people in our lives that will encourage and pray for us, and sometimes work right along side of us.
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. - Matthew 6:24
**************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
patois pat-WAH , noun; 1. A regional version of a language differing from its standard, literary form. 2. Arural or provincial form of speech. 3. Any jargon or private form of speech.
Quotes: The Calypsonian would use patois in ordinary social circumstances, but on stage, doing battle with other singers in the large Calypso tents, would use strictly regulated English. -- Stephen Wagg, Because I tell a joke or two: comedy, politics, and social difference Nick took easily to accomplishments, and he handled the clumsy tiller with a certainty and distinction that made the boatmen swear in two languages and a patois. -- Winston Churchill, The Crossing
Origin: Patois enters English in the 1600s from the Old French patoier, "to handle clumsily."
****************************
"There's a very positive relationship between people's ability to accomplish any task and the time they're willing to spend on it." - Joyce Brothers
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you use the term 'over yonder' more than once a month.
THINGS TO PONDER: Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly? THINGS TO PONDER: Why is a boxing ring square?
You might be a REDNECK if... ...your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: Faced with what is right, to leave it undone shows a lack of courage.
"To guarantee success, act as if it were impossible to fail." - Dorothea Brande
*******************************
TODAY'S PET TIP
How Healthy is Your Dog There are several signs that may indicate a problem with your dog. It is important to recognize what they are and have your pet evaluated. Problem signs include a lack of appetite, decreased activity, weakness, changes in water consumption, not grooming, bad breath, sleeping more, drooling, vomiting, diarrhea, coughing, trouble breathing, frequent urinations or bloody urinations. Watch your dog carefully for any sign of illness. If you notice any of these signs in your dog, please contact your veterinarian or veterinary emergency clinic as soon as possible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TODAY'S PET TIP
Catnip for Cats
Catnip's primary active ingredient, nepetalactone, is similar to hallucinogens. However, it causes no harm to cats and does not turn felines into addicts. Some speculate that it triggers a sexual response; others believe the behavior more closely matches a cat's predatory reactions. Whatever the cause, the "catnip response" tends to last from 5 to 15 minutes. After the session is over, most cats won't respond to catnip again for at least another hour. Reproductive age cats tend to respond more than older or younger cats, and young kittens may actually avoid the plant.
**************************** Fish Fillets with Cucumber Raita
4 servings Active Time: 25 minutes Total Time: 25 minutes
INGREDIENTS
RAITA 1 small cucumber, peeled, seeded and diced 1 cup low-fat plain yogurt 2 tablespoons chopped fresh mint 1 tablespoon lime juice 1 small clove garlic, minced 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon pepper
FISH 1/3 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper to taste 1 pound catfish, tilapia, haddock or other white fish fillets (see Notes), cut into 4 portions 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
PREPARATION To prepare raita: Combine cucumber, yogurt, mint, lime juice, garlic, cumin, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper in a small bowl. Serve immediately or cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes to allow flavors to blend. To prepare fish: Combine flour, 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper in a shallow dish; thoroughly dredge fillets (discard any leftover flour). Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the fish, working in batches if necessary, and cook until lightly browned and just opaque in the center, 3 to 4 minutes per side. Serve each portion of fish with about 1/4 cup raita each.
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate the sauce (Step 1) for up to 2 days. Notes: Catfish: Look for U.S. farmed catfish—it’s sustainably raised in non-polluting inland ponds and fed a mostly vegetarian diet. Tilapia: U.S. farmed tilapia is the considered the best choice—it’s raised in closed-farming systems that protect the surrounding environment. Central and South American tilapia is considered a good alternative. Avoid farmed tilapia from China and Taiwan—where the fish farming pollutes the surrounding environment. Haddock (Scrod): To get the best choice for the environment, ask for U.S. Atlantic “hook-and-line-caught†haddock—this method causes the least damage to the sea floor and has the least by catch.
NUTRITION Per serving: 195 calories; 9 g fat ( 2 g sat , 5 g mono ); 45 mg cholesterol; 12 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 15 g protein; 1 g fiber; 496 mg sodium; 396 mg potassium.
Carbohydrate Servings: 1/2
Exchanges: 1/2 starch, 3 lean meat, 1/2 fat
**************************** Peach Cobbler
Try this great tasting Peach Cobbler Recipe for dessert tonight! If you like this peach cobbler recipe, you can easily switch out the peach fruit for your favorite type of cobbler. Also, please vote in the Peach Cobbler Poll below and tell me your favorite type of cobbler dessert! There are many more links to Peach Cobbler Recipes near the bottom!
Ingredients:
1 stick butter 1 1/2 cup sugar 1 cup flour 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 3/4 cup milk 1 can (30oz) sliced peaches in corn syrup 1 tbs cinnamon
Directions for making Peach Cobbler
Start by preheating the oven to 350F. Take the butter and melt it in 9x13 casserole dish. Then separate half cup of sugar and all the cinnamon; and separate out the peaches from the corn syrup. Next... Mix 1 cup of sugar and the other dry ingredients together in a bowl. Then... Stir in the milk and corn syrup from peaches. Put peaches in casserole dish with melted butter. Pour batter over the top of the peaches. Mix cinnamon and 1/2 cup sugar; sprinkle over top of mixture. Now... Bake at 350 45 min for 1hr or until top crust is golden brown.
****************************
BEER CRACKER CHICKEN POT PIE
Shell: 2 cups finely crushed Club or Town House crackers 4 tablespoons melted butter
Crust: 2 cups flour 3/4 cup Crisco 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 cup boiling water 1 teaspoon parsley flakes
Filling: 1-2 lbs chicken sliced 1" cubes 1 bag frozen mixed vegetables 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 bottle beer or 12 oz white wine 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning 1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder 1 teaspoon basil 1 teaspoon Lipton Onion Soup mix 1 can condensed Cream of Potato soup 2/3 cup milk 1 tsp salt (optional)
Crust: In a 4x9 dish, pour the melted butter into the casserole dish, sprinkle the cracker crumbs over the butter and mix well to saturate the crackers. Press down cracker mix to cover the bottom evenly. Place covered into fridge while preparing the chicken.
Chicken: Add the olive oil to a frying pan with the poultry seasoning, garlic powder, basil, onion soup mix and stir until well saturated with oil. Add chicken and brown lightly. Add the beer, cream of potato soup and milk when chicken looks "golden brown". Add the frozen vegetables and turn down the heat to reduce the liquids for approximately 20 min. Remove from heat when liquids appear thickened. Allow to cool to warm to the touch.
Crust: Add dry ingredients to hot water and milk. Cut Crisco into flour and milk mixture with knife or fork. Form into ball (minimize touching with hands). Divide ball in half. Roll out dough between sheets of wax paper or plastic wrap to 1/8" thin.
Baking: Remove the casserole dish from the fridge and add the chicken filling. Peel the plastic wrap off of one side of the crust, fold dough over the dish and remove the other sheet of plastic wrap. Pinch sides of dough into the inside edge of the dish with fingers. Use a knife to poke several vent holes in crust. Bake at 425°F for 20-25 minutes until crust in golden brown over a cookie sheet.
Serves 4-6 people. ****************************
EASY LOW-FAT CHICKEN QUESADILLA
corn tortillas 1 cup of low-fat shredded cheddar cheese 1 cup of boneless skinless shredded chicken breast
Place two corn tortillas on a serving dish. Spread 1 cup of shredded low-fat cheddar cheese over one of the corn tortillas. Then add 1 cup of boneless skinless shredded chicken breast to the cheese and corn tortilla. Place the second corn tortilla on top of what you have so far. Put the quesadilla into the microwave for 30-45 seconds or until all cheese is melted.
Now you have a delicious low-fat chicken quesadilla! Yum! Feeds one.
Add salsa for a truly mexican dish!
**************************** Campbell's Meatball Parmesan Sandwiches
Try this easy, delicious recipe from Campbell's Kitchen.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 25 INGREDIENTS:
2 cups Prego Traditional Pasta Sauce 16 (1 oz. each) frozen fully-cooked meatballs 4 long hard rolls, split 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese, (4 ounces) Grated Parmesan cheese
DIRECTIONS:
Heat the sauce and meatballs in a 3-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cook for 20 minutes or until the meatballs are heated through, stirring occasionally. Spoon the meatballs and sauce into the rolls. Top with the mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses. Heat the sauce and meatballs in a 3-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cook for 20 minutes or until the meatballs are heated through, stirring occasionally. Spoon the meatballs and sauce into the rolls. Top with the mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses. Serving Suggestion: Serve with a tossed salad with Italian vinaigrette. For dessert serve a vanilla yogurt and granola parfait.
**************************** RAVIOLI STROGANOFF
Delightfully easy to make and eat!
Serves: serves 4 Prep. time: 10 minutes Cooking time: 20
INGREDIENTS:
1 package (25-ounce) refrigerated cheese ravioli 2 teaspoons vegetable oil 1 pound lean ground turkey 1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning 1 can (10 3/4-ounce) Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup 1 cup whole milk 3/4 cup sour cream
DIRECTIONS: Prepare ravioli according to package instructions; drain and set aside. Meanwhile, in a medium frying pan, heat oil over high heat. Add turkey and seasoning, Sauté until turkey is brown, breaking it into 1-inch pieces with a spatula, about 6 minutes. Stir in soup and milk. Bring to a simmer. Remove from heat. Stir in sour cream. Gently toss ravioli in sauce to coat. Transfer to plates and serve.
**************************** This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare." So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their Daddy's are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dogs get their first checks Friday.
Damn, this is a great country!!! ****************************
We watched Dennis Prager of Colorado , along with Sara Palin and Tom Brokaw on TV a couple of weeks ago....what a dynamic, down to earth speaker. Even though Palin and Brokaw were also guest speakers they did little but nod and agree with him. This is the guy that should be running for President in 2012!
A Speech Every American High School Principal Should Give.... By Dennis Prager.
To the students and faculty of our high school:
I am your new principal, and honored to be so. There is no greater calling than to teach young people.
I would like to apprise you of some important changes coming to our school. I am making these changes because I am convinced that most of the ideas that have dominated public education in America have worked against you, against your teachers and against our country.
First, this school will no longer honor race or ethnicity. I could not care less if your racial makeup is black, brown, red, yellow or white. I could not care less if your origins are African, Latin American, Asian or European, or if your ancestors arrived here on the Mayflower or on slave ships. The only identity I care about, the only one this school will recognize, is your individual identity -- your character, your scholarship, your humanity. And the only national identity this school will care about is American.
This is an American public school, and American public schools were created to make better Americans. If you wish to affirm an ethnic, racial or religious identity through school, you will have to go elsewhere. We will end all ethnicity, race and non-American nationality-based celebrations. They undermine the motto of America , one of its three central values -- e pluribus Unum, "from many, one." And this school will be guided by America 's values. This includes all after-school clubs. I will not authorize clubs that divide students based on any identities. This includes race, language, religion, sexual orientation or whatever else may become in vogue in a society divided by political correctness.
Your clubs will be based on interests and passions, not blood, ethnic, racial or other physically defined ties. Those clubs just cultivate narcissism -- an unhealthy preoccupation with the self -- while the purpose of education is to get you to think beyond yourself. So we will have clubs that transport you to the wonders and glories of art, music, astronomy, languages you do not already speak, carpentry and more. If the only extracurricular activities you can imagine being interested in are those based on ethnic, racial or sexual identity, that means that little outside of yourself really interests you.
Second, I am uninterested in whether English is your native language. My only interest in terms of language is that you leave this school speaking and writing English as fluently as possible. The English language has united America 's citizens for over 200 years, and it will unite us at this school. It is one of the indispensable reasons this country of immigrants has always come to be one country. And if you leave this school without excellent English language skills, I would be remiss in my duty to ensure that you will be prepared to successfully compete in the American job market. We will learn other languages here -- it is deplorable that most Americans only speak English --but if you want classes taught in your native language rather than in English, this is not your school.
Third, because I regard learning as a sacred endeavor, everything in this school will reflect learning's elevated status. This means, among other things, that you and your teachers will dress accordingly. Many people in our society dress more formally for Hollywood events than for church or school. These people have their priorities backward. Therefore, there will be a formal dress code at this school.
Fourth, no obscene language will be tolerated anywhere on this school's property -- whether in class, in the hallways or at athletic events. If you can't speak without using the f-word, you can't speak. By obscene language I mean the words banned by the Federal Communications Commission, plus epithets such as "Nigger," even when used by one black student to address another black, or "bitch," even when addressed by a girl to a girlfriend. It is my intent that by the time you leave this school, you will be among the few your age to instinctively distinguish between the elevated and the degraded, the holy and the obscene.
Fifth, we will end all self-esteem programs. In this school, self-esteem will be attained in only one way -- the way people attained it until decided otherwise a generation ago -- by earning it. One immediate consequence is that there will be one valedictorian, not eight.
Sixth, and last, I am reorienting the school toward academics and away from politics and propaganda. No more time will be devoted to scaring you about smoking and caffeine, or terrifying you about sexual harassment or global warming. No more semesters will be devoted to condom wearing and teaching you to regard sexual relations as only or primarily a health issue. There will be no more attempts to convince you that you are a victim because you are not white, or not male, or not heterosexual or not Christian. We will have failed if any one of you graduates this school and does not consider him or herself inordinately lucky -- to be alive and to be an American.
Now, please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of our country. As many of you do not know the words, your teachers will hand them out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WISH WE HAD MORE PRINCIPALS LIKE THIS IN OUR PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM - MJS
**************************** "QUOTE OF THE CENTURY"....
>> Some people have the vocabulary to sum up things in a way you can understand. This quote came from the Czech Republic .
>> "The danger to America is not Barack Obama, but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate, willing to have such a man for their president.
>> The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America . Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. >> The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. >> It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made >> him >> their President." >> ELECTION 2012 IS COMING >> A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves! >> I'M 100% for PASSING THIS ON!!! Lets Take a stand!!! >> Obama: Gone! >> Borders: Closed... >> Language: English only... >> Culture: Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!!! >> Drug Free: Make a drug screen mandatory >> For anyone on welfare and/or food stamps! NO freebies to Non-Citizens! >> We the people are coming >> Only 86% will send this on. Should be a 100%. What will you do? **************************** "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." - Isaiah 55:12
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
"Be full of Joy. In every smile, every act of kindness, every trifling service --Joy." -- GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
You're Not Alone Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, KJV: "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor; For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." How many times have you felt that you were alone in your cause, your work, or your beliefs? Did you ever feel stronger because of it? Or did you feel isolated and like you just wanted to withdraw from the world for a while so you could get your strength back? Maybe you felt like your thoughts were yours alone and that no one else understood, and so you would just keep your mouth shut and wait for everything to blow over. You are not alone. God's plan for us is to have a support group of which He is the coordinator. He (not us), directs the course of His work. He shows us the what, where, who and how of something to be done. Then He provides us with people in our lives that will encourage and pray for us, and sometimes work right along side of us.
Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets. - Amos 3:7
************************* WORD FOR THE DAY:
futilitarian fyoo-til-i-TAIR-ee-uhn , adjective; 1.Believing that human hopes are vain and unjustified.
Quotes: In America the silence was more oppressive than the ignorance; but perhaps elsewhere the world might still hide some haunt of futilitarian silence where content reigned - although long search had not revealed it - and so the pilgramage began anew! -- Henry Adams, The education of Henry Adams There is another way of looking at the problem which I hope Feigl will not regard as wholly futilitarian in character, although I am not sure that it solves anything. -- Paul Feyerabend, Herbert Feigl, Grover Maxwell, Mind, matter, and method
Origin: Futilitarian is a satirical coinage from the 1820s combining "futility" and "utilitarian."
*************************** You might be a REDNECK if... ...you have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
THINGS TO PONDER: Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
"All life is a chance. So take it! The person who goes furthest is the one who is willing to do and dare." - Dale Carnegie
*************************** Tip for Applying Topical Medication to Your Cat
Cats generally dislike having topical medication applied. Many cats run away after topical medications are applied and often act as though they have been "violated". Cats are smart and after a few treatments, they will often wise up to "the process" of getting topical medications. Here are some tips for applying topical medications to your cat. However you hold your cat for the treatment, do it often – not just at "treatment time". Don't let them associate a certain handling technique with the application of the medication. It is easiest to have two people available when applying the medication. One to hold and one to apply the medication. Make sure the medication is ready! Many applicators require a puncture to the tip in order to "open" the tube. Make sure you are ready to give the medication before you have your cat restrained. Very gently and without making a big deal of it, part the hair and apply the medication. Don't get excited or nervous during the process and your cat won't mind at much. Never yell at your cat during this process. If you do, he will be more scared next time. Apply the medication centrally on their back just below their necks. The idea is to apply it in an area that they can't lick off. Many products can be toxic or taste bad when ingested. Offer a treat after the treatment. For some cats, this will take their mind off the "treatment".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DOG TIPS:
TODAY'S PET TIP
Feeding Dogs Canned vs. Dry Food What type of food is preferred for dogs? Here are some general rules: For puppies (less than 8-9 months and less than 30 pounds): Feed your puppy a consistent canned, semi-moist or dry dog food designed for puppies. If your dog weighs more than 30 pounds, dry food is preferred for greater caloric density. For adult dogs: Feed your dog a consistent canned, semi-moist or dry dog food designed for an "adult" dog. All the above are adequate as long as it is a good quality food. If your dog weighs more than 30 pounds, dry food is preferred for greater caloric density. Our dogs are our children - we're with them through thick and thin, and we want them to have the best, fullest life. This is why it hurts so much to see our beloved dogs start to slow down and show signs of aging. The changes might happen gradually or quickly. But one day we suddenly realize that our usually lively dog has become slower and less active. When this happens, most owners will assume that this is just a natural sign of aging and leave it untreated. Don't make this mistake! Believe it or not - this happens all the time. Owners mistake pain for a normal aging "slow-down". Our dogs deserve the best quality of life they can get. Slowing down does not signify the beginning of the end. In fact, here are steps you can take to restore your dog's healthy activity level and bring back the playfulness that you know well. The first step you should take if your dog becomes noticeably less active is to determine what is causing the change. Your veterinarian can help you with this. Most often, a loss of mobility in an older dog signifies joint health issues. 1 in 5 dogs will experience joint problems at some point in their lives. This issue is common in both big and small dogs. A dog with joint problems will display a range of symptoms. Standing up or lying down, climbing up or down stairs or on the couch, and other activities that used to be effortless will appear to give your dog problems. You might notice that you have to slow down on walks so your dog can keep up. Energy levels will be low, with your dog requiring more time to rest between exercise and being less playful in general. The good news is that noticing the problem is the most difficult part! It's also the first and most important step to helping your dog. Now that you understand what is slowing your dog down, you can do something about it. Remember the old adage, "you are what you eat"? This is true for dogs as well. A dog requires just the right amount and combination of nutrients in his food to remain healthy. In other words, the key to restoring your dog's mobility levels is to change his diet. We wouldn't let our kids suffer, and our dogs are our four-legged children! Observe your dog and keep an eye out for signs of joint problems, and you can make your dog's life much better. Don't mistake your dogs slowing down as just "getting older". I've had so many owners told me that their dog now acts like he is enjoying life again and playing after being treated for pain and mobility issues.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***************************
Thyme, Pork Chop & Pineapple Skillet Supper
Thyme adds bright, woodsy flavor to pork and pineapple in this simple one-skillet supper. Serve with whole-grain rice pilaf and a baby spinach salad. Recipe by Nancy Baggett for EatingWell.
4 servings Active Time: 30 minutes Total Time: 30 minutes
INGREDIENTS 3 tablespoons pineapple or apricot preserves or jam or orange marmalade 3 tablespoons orange juice, plus more if needed 2 teaspoons stone-ground or Dijon mustard 1/2 teaspoon minced fresh ginger 1/2 teaspoon curry powder 4 fresh or canned pineapple rings (1/2 inch thick), cut in half, any juice reserved 2 teaspoons butter 4 4- to 5-ounce boneless pork loin chops (1/2 inch thick), trimmed 2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme (see Tip), divided 1/2 teaspoon salt, divided 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, divided
PREPARATION If the preserves are chunky, chop any large pieces. Combine preserves (or jam or marmalade), 3 tablespoons orange juice, mustard, ginger and curry powder in a small bowl; set aside. Pour pineapple juice into a measuring cup; if necessary, add enough orange juice to equal 1/3 cup total. Set aside. Heat butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork chops, sprinkle with 1/2 tablespoon thyme, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon pepper. Immediately turn them over and sprinkle with another 1/2 tablespoon thyme and the remaining salt and pepper. Cook the chops, turning occasionally and adjusting the heat as necessary, until browned, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the reserved juice to the pan. Reduce heat to medium and continue cooking until the chops are cooked through, 2 to 3 minutes more. Transfer to a platter and keep warm. Add pineapple, the reserved sauce and the remaining 1 tablespoon thyme to the pan. Cook, stirring, until hot and bubbling, 1 to 2 minutes. To serve, spoon the sauce onto the chops and pineapple.
TIPS & NOTES Tip: To remove thyme leaves from the sprig, hold each sprig at the top with one hand, then run the thumb and finger of the other hand down the stem to strip off the leaves.
NUTRITION Per serving: 257 calories; 8 g fat ( 3 g sat , 3 g mono ); 72 mg cholesterol; 25 g carbohydrates; 8 g added sugars; 22 g protein; 2 g fiber; 388 mg sodium; 434 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (78% daily value) Carbohydrate Servings: 1 1/2
*************************** Chicken Waldorf Salad
Leftover cooked chicken makes this chicken Waldorf salad, loaded with apples, grapes, celery and walnuts, a snap to assemble. If you use rotisserie chicken, keep in mind that it’s salty and omit the salt in the dressing. Serve over watercress, with a chunk of whole-grain baguette.
4 servings, about 1 1/2 cups each Active Time: 15 minutes Total Time: 15 minutes
INGREDIENTS 1/3 cup low-fat mayonnaise 1/3 cup nonfat or low-fat plain yogurt 2 teaspoons lemon juice 1/4 teaspoon salt 3 cups chopped cooked chicken breast (see Tips) 1 medium red apple, diced 1 cup halved red or green grapes 1 cup sliced celery 1/2 cup chopped walnuts, toasted if desired (see Tips), divided
PREPARATION Whisk mayonnaise, yogurt, lemon juice and salt in a large bowl. Add chicken, apple, grapes, celery and 1/4 cup walnuts. Stir to coat well. Serve topped with the remaining 1/4 cup walnuts.
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 2 days. Tips: If you want cooked chicken in a hurry, the easiest way to cook it is to poach it. Place boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a skillet or saucepan. Add lightly salted water (or chicken broth) to cover and bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer gently until the chicken is cooked through and no longer pink in the middle, 10 to 15 minutes. (1 pound raw boneless, skinless chicken breasts = about 2 1/2 cups chopped or shredded cooked chicken) To toast chopped, small or sliced nuts, cook in a small dry skillet over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, until fragrant and lightly browned, 2 to 4 minutes.
NUTRITION Per serving: 356 calories; 16 g fat ( 2 g sat , 3 g mono ); 78 mg cholesterol; 23 g carbohydrates; 1 g added sugars; 31 g protein; 3 g fiber; 408 mg sodium; 537 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Magnesium, Potassium & Vitamin C (15% daily value) Carbohydrate Servings: 1 1/2 Exchanges: 1 fruit, 1/2 carbohydrate, 4 lean meat, 3 fat
*************************** Easy Beef Tacos
PREP TIME 15 Min TOTAL TIME 30 Min SERVINGS 10
INGREDIENTS
1 pound lean (at least 80%) ground beef 1 cup Old El Paso Thick 'n Chunky salsa 10 Old El Paso taco shells 1/2 head lettuce, shredded 1 medium tomato, chopped (3/4 cup) 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese (4 ounces)
1 Cook beef in 10-inch skillet over medium heat 8 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until brown; drain. 2 Stir salsa into beef. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly; reduce heat to medium-low. Cook 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Pour beef mixture into large serving bowl. 3 Heat taco shells as directed on package. Serve taco shells with beef mixture, lettuce, tomato and cheese.
Expert Tips Want a veggie version? Open a 16-ounce can of Old El Paso® refried beans, and place in a microwavable bowl. Cover and microwave on High, stirring a few times with a wooden spoon, until hot. Spoon beans into a serving bowl, and serve with the salsa and other taco toppings. Craving salad? Place lettuce in a large bowl or on a large serving platter. Top with the chopped tomato, cheese, cooked beef and salsa. Sprinkle with 2 cups crushed tortilla chips.
Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Serving)Calories 190 (Calories from Fat 100 ),Total Fat 11 g(Saturated Fat 5 g,Cholesterol 40 mg;Sodium 320 mg;Total Carbohydrate 10 g(Dietary Fiber 1 g,Protein 12 g;Percent Daily Value*:Vitamin A 8.00%;Vitamin C 6.00%;Calcium 8.00%;Iron 6.00%;Exchanges:1/2 Starch;1 Fat;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
*************************** BEEF FAJITAS
1 lb. beef stew meat 1 lg. onion, sliced 1 lg. sweet pepper 1 pkg. flour tortillas Cilantro Shredded Cheddar cheese 1 pkg. Fajita seasoning 1/4 c. water Picante sauce
Thinly slice meat. Brown meat in a skillet. Add sliced onion and sliced pepper. Cook down. Add fajita seasoning, 1/4 cup water and cilantro to taste; blend well. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, 3 to 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Microwave tortillas between 2 microwave proof plates. Tortillas get warm and don't dry out. Place 1/2 cup filling on each tortilla, sprinkle with cheese, add picante sauce to taste.
*************************** Ultimate 7-Layer Dip
total time 3 hr 10 min prep 10 min Servings 6 cups or 48 servings, 2 Tbsp.
INGREDIENTS 1 can (16 oz.) TACO BELL HOME ORIGINALS Refried Beans 1 Tbsp. TACO BELL HOME ORIGINALS Taco Seasoning Mix
Layer the following 1 cup BREAKSTONE'S or KNUDSEN Sour Cream 1 cup TACO BELL HOME ORIGINALS Thick 'N Chunky Salsa 1 cup shredded lettuce 1 cup KRAFT Mexican Style Finely Shredded Four Cheese 4 green onions, sliced 2 Tbsp. sliced black olives
RITZ Toasted Chips Original
DIRECTIONS:
MIX beans and seasoning mix; spread onto bottom of pie plate. TOP with layers of all remaining ingredients except chips. Refrigerate several hours or until chilled.
SERVE with chips.
*************************** Monkey Muffins Recipe
These bite-sized mini muffins will be a favorite with your family and friends—or anyone who loves bananas, peanut butter and chocolate! A nice way to use up overripe bananas. Amie Longstaff - Painesville Township, Ohio 36 Servings Prep: 20 min. Bake: 15 min./batch
Ingredients 1/2 cup butter, softened 1 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar, divided 2 eggs 1 cup mashed ripe bananas 2/3 cup peanut butter 1 tablespoon milk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 3/4 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips
Directions In a large bowl, cream butter and 1 cup sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the bananas, peanut butter, milk and vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt; add to creamed mixture just until moistened. Fold in chips. Fill greased or paper-lined miniature muffin cups three-fourths full. Sprinkle with remaining sugar. Bake at 350° for 14-16 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 5 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks. Serve warm. Yield: 6 dozen.
Nutrition Facts: 2 muffins equals 126 calories, 6 g fat (3 g saturated fat), 18 mg cholesterol, 112 mg sodium, 16 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 3 g protein. Diabetic Exchanges: 1 starch, 1 fat. ***************************
In a recent survey requested by President Obama, African-Americans have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!
In the survey, carried out for him, by a leading toiletries firm, a huge majority, 86% of African
Americans, said that they have had sex in the shower.
The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.
Sort of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it! *************************
Your Duck is Dead-- A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary Surgeon.. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the Vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the Duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" She cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150." *************************** GUN LOGIC 101
An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week: "If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq Theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers. The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the U..S., than you are in Iraq.
Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington. *************************** The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
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How to hunt elephants -- Lawyer's style
Lawyers don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping.
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A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed. "No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"
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Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash,and there are only three parachutes. The doctor yells out, " Save the children" The lawyer yells out "FUCK THE CHILDREN!" The priest yells out " IS THERE TIME?" =======================
Historical Origin of The "Finger"
This is not meant to be crude. It is strictly for your edification and enjoyment. Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future.
This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew." Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French,saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!"
Over the years, some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this symbolic gesture. Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say (like "pleasant mother pheasant plucker", which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter. It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird." ============================== Old is ........
Scotch with two drops of water. A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today...' The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.' As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.' The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming up,' says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.' The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming right up,' the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?' The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door,
'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along..
'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre today. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the car park.
'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
AND
'OLD' IS WHEN... You are not sure these are jokes.
---------------------- Old Timer ...Way too Funny Not To Pass On lololololol OLd Timer Sex
This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!' A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?' Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD: Hebrews 9:27 (27) And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, A primary factor in Jesus' death is that it was substitutionary. For each sin we commit, we earn the death penalty. This penalty cannot be paid by dying a natural death of old age, by accident, or by disease, for this is the way everyone dies as a matter of course. Verse 27 says, "It is appointed for men to die once." If "merely" dying any old way were the payment for sin, idolaters, murderers, rapists, thieves, liars, adulterers, and other sinners would be completely absolved of their sins upon their deaths. Cleared of all guilt by death, they would legally qualify for entrance into God's Kingdom. However, we must remember the rest of verse 27: ". . . but after this the judgment." Thus, even after a person's physical death, he is brought under judgment. This means the penalty for sin is something more than "just" death. Verse 22 helps to clarify this: "Without shedding of blood there is no remission." Sin cannot be forgiven until someone pours out his blood to cover the transgression. The penalty for sin is therefore death by execution. So, as a substitutionary sacrifice, Jesus had to die the way we would have, by execution. He could not have paid the penalty for our sins by dying any way other than by execution. He could not have died by suicide or even "euthanasia," as these forms of death would have been sin, disqualifying Him as Savior. He would then have had to die for His own sin. Remember also that Jesus' death resulted from a pronouncement of Pilate, when he handed Jesus over "to be crucified" (John 19:13-16; Matthew 27:26). Though Pilate literally washed his hands of the whole affair by saying, "I am innocent of the blood of this just Person. You see to it" (Matthew 27:24), he made the judgment and sentenced Him to death. Of course, Jesus was not guilty of any crime or sin. Our sins brought on us the death penalty. In taking the penalty on Himself, Jesus had to die by execution, and crucifixion was Rome's preferred means.
************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: assay a-SEY , verb; 1. To examine or analyze. 2. In metallurgy, to analyze (an ore, alloy, etc.) in order to determine the quantity of gold, silver, or other metal in it. 3. To attempt; try.
Quotes: The basic information will come from computers, but men, not machines, will assay its meaning before airing it. -- "TV gets ready for the election," Kiplinger's Personal Finance, April 1968 He sat down on one of the park benches to assay his release, to scan the landscape of his dishonorable freedom. -- Henry Roth, Diving Rock on the Hudson
Origin: Assay stems from Middle French, a variation on essay.
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A MUST READ THIS IS AN IMPORTANT HISTORY LESSON.
Who Was Haym Solomon?
History from a $1 Bill-Fascinating! Read all the way to the bottom to know about Haym Solomon
On the rear of the One Dollar bill, you will see two circles. Together, they comprise the Great Seal of the United States.The First Continental Congress requested that Benjamin Franklin and a group of men come up with a Seal. It took them four years to accomplish this task and another two years to get it approved. If you look at the left-hand circle, you will see a Pyramid.
Notice the face is lighted, and the western side is dark. This country was just beginning. We had not begun to explore the west or decided what we could do for Western Civilization. The Pyramid is uncapped, again signifying that we were not even close to being finished. Inside the Capstone you have the all-seeing eye, an ancient symbol for divinity. It was Franklin 's belief that one man couldn't do it alone, but a group of men, with the help of God, could do anything.
'IN GOD WE TRUST' is on this currency.
The Latin above the pyramid, ANNUIT COEPTIS, means, 'God has favored our undertaking.' The Latin below the pyramid, NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM, means, 'a new order has begun.' At the base of the pyramid is the Roman numeral for 1776. (MDCCLXXVI)
If you look at the right-hand circle, and check it carefully, you will learn that it is on every National Cemetery in the United States . It is also on the Parade of Flags Walkway at the Bushnell, Florida National Cemetery , and is the centerpiece of most heroes' monuments. Slightly modified, it is the seal of the President of the United States , and it is always visible whenever he speaks, yet very few people know what the symbols mean..
The Bald Eagle was selected as a symbol for victory for two reasons: First, he is not afraid of a storm; he is strong, and he is smart enough to soar above it. Secondly, he wears no material crown. We had just broken from the King of England . Also, notice the shield is unsupported. This country can now stand on its own. At the top of that shield you have a white bar signifying congress, a unifying factor. We were coming together as one nation. In the Eagle's beak you will read, ' E PLURIBUS UNUM' meaning, 'from many - one.' Above the Eagle, you have the thirteen stars, representing the thirteen original colonies, and any clouds of misunderstanding rolling away. Again, we were coming together as one.
Notice what the Eagle holds in his talons. He holds an olive branch and Arrows. This country wants peace, but we will never be afraid to fight to preserve peace. The Eagle always wants to face the olive branch, but in time of war, his gaze turns toward the arrows.
They say that the number 13 is an unlucky number. This is almost a worldwide belief. You will usually never see a room numbered 13, or any hotels or motels with a 13th floor. But think about this:
13 original colonies, 13 signers of the Declaration of Independence , 13 stripes on our flag, 13 steps on the Pyramid, 13 letters in 'AnnuitCoeptis,' 13 letters in ' E Pluribus Unum,' 13 stars above the Eagle, 13 bars on that shield, 13 leaves on the olive branch, 13 fruits, and if you look closely, 13 arrows. And finally, if you notice the arrangement of the 13 stars in the right-hand circle you will see that they are arranged as a Star of David. This was ordered by George Washington who, when he asked Haym Solomon, a wealthy Philadelphia Jew, what he would like as a personal reward for his services to the Continental Army, Solomon said he wanted nothing for himself but that he would like something for his people.The Star of David was the result. Few people know that it was Solomon who saved the Army through his financial contributions but died a pauper. Haym Solomon gave $25 million to the Continental Army, money that was extremely important to our independence from England . I always ask people, 'Why don't you know this?' Your children do NOT know this, and their history teachers do NOT know this. Too many veterans have given up too much to ever let the meaning fade. Many veterans remember coming home to an America that did NOT care. Too many veterans never came home at all..
I, for one, plan to share this page with everyone, so that they can learn what is on the back of the UNITED STATES ONE DOLLAR BILL, and what it stands for!
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TODAY'S PET TIP
Traveling with Your Dog Summer months see more Americans hitting the road for weekend trips and extended vacations. More and more pets are now joining their owners on these trips. When traveling with your pet in the car, it's import to follow these tips:
- Use Proper Restraint: When traveling in your vehicle, your pet should always be properly restrained for both your and their safety. In the case of an accident, a dog can weigh up 30 times its weight upon impact while traveling at 35 mph. Today, many companies create seatbelt systems and crates to keep animals safely secured while on the road.
- Never Leave Your Pet In the Car: In 70-degree weather and above, it takes only minutes for the temperatures in your car to escalate to triple digits. Leaving the window open an inch does not provide adequate ventilation. Many states are passing laws that prohibit leaving your pet alone in your automobile. So if your car is parked, please make sure to remove your pet from the car.
- Bring Water: Car travel can make your pets feel anxious and result in nervous panting. Be sure to take frequent breaks during your trip to allow your pet the opportunity to re-hydrate.
**************************** Use of Breathing Techniques in Reiki RELATED TAGS: alternative medicine breathing circulation healing heart rate reiki relaxation
In Reiki, breathing techniques and methods are one of the devices used to help with a change of energy flow and healing. Learning the breathing techniques in Reiki is one of the first steps in knowing how to use the energy change process for healing. Reiki utilizes what they call deep breathing techniques. These techniques allow you to become more conscious of the chakras that are being accessed to promote healing. It also allows you to more easily tap into the universal energies. The first type of breathing to utilize when practicing Reiki breathing is the short breath. This is how most people regularly breathe. It consists of breathing through the nose and feeling the upper part of the lungs before exhaling. You will want to recognize the inhaling as universal energy and exhaling as a release of negative energies. The second step in breathing is filling your lower body in the location of the stomach and diaphragm. When inhaling, you should notice your belly expanding. When you exhale, your stomach should shrink. This filling of your body in this way is considered to be a full breath that is often used in meditation. The third breathing technique includes picturing that you are filling your rib cage with air. This constitutes a complete full breath. When you are breathing completely, you should be filling first your lungs, then your diaphragm, and then allowing the breath to expand into your ribs. This will slow you down in order to allow you to call the universal energies with the help of deep breathing. One aspect of the breathing technique in Reiki is imagining these breaths in relation to light. When inhaling, you should imagine a light filling your different chakras through the breath. With your mind and thoughts, you can move the light into any desirable area. This will help you start circulation of the various energies that have previously been blocked. Many people use these breathing techniques not only in Reiki, but also during various types of meditation. When concentrating on the breath, one is able to become in a more relaxed state. There will also be a change in one's level of consciousness. In doing this, they will permit the universal energies to begin flowing through them, while using the Reiki technique. The Reiki breathing techniques are most effective when practiced consistently and in a disciplined manner. When practicing Reiki outside of a group session or in the absence of a practitioner, the breath is the first step to enable a person to use Reiki techniques in healing. Knowing proper breathing techniques can greatly help to make the remainder of the Reiki process more fulfilling. Deep breathing is also good for you and beneficial for your mental state when practiced on a consistent basis. It encourages you to relax and remain in a healed state of mind, as well as balancing your body by utilizing your breath.
About the Author: Richard Johnson contributes to several well-known web magazines, on healthy living and health and wellness themes.
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Italian Subs - Restaurant Style
"This is a classic Italian sub sandwich with three kinds of meat and provolone cheese. The kind you get in a mom and pop pizza joint. You'll be glad you tried it!" Prep Time: 20 Min Ready In: 1 Hr 20 Min Yield 8 servings
Ingredients
1 head red leaf lettuce, rinsed and torn 2 medium fresh tomatoes, chopped 1 medium red onion, chopped 6 tablespoons olive oil 2 tablespoons white wine vinegar 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley 2 cloves garlic, chopped 1 teaspoon dried basil 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes 1 pinch dried oregano 1/2 pound sliced Capacola sausage 1/2 pound thinly sliced Genoa salami 1/4 pound thinly sliced prosciutto 1/2 pound sliced provolone cheese 4 submarine rolls, split 1 cup dill pickle slices
Directions
In a large bowl, toss together the lettuce, tomatoes and onion. In a separate bowl, whisk together the olive oil, white wine vinegar, parsley, garlic, basil, red pepper flakes and oregano. Pour over the salad, and toss to coat evenly. Refrigerate for about 1 hour. Spread the submarine rolls open, and layer the Capacola, salami, prosciutto, and provolone cheese evenly on each roll. Top with some of the salad, and as many pickle slices as desired. Close the rolls and serve.
**************************** Thyme, Pork Chop & Pineapple Skillet Supper
Thyme adds bright, woodsy flavor to pork and pineapple in this simple one-skillet supper. Serve with whole-grain rice pilaf and a baby spinach salad. Recipe by Nancy Baggett for EatingWell.
4 servings Active Time: 30 minutes Total Time: 30 minutes
INGREDIENTS 3 tablespoons pineapple or apricot preserves or jam or orange marmalade 3 tablespoons orange juice, plus more if needed 2 teaspoons stone-ground or Dijon mustard 1/2 teaspoon minced fresh ginger 1/2 teaspoon curry powder 4 fresh or canned pineapple rings (1/2 inch thick), cut in half, any juice reserved 2 teaspoons butter 4 4- to 5-ounce boneless pork loin chops (1/2 inch thick), trimmed 2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme (see Tip), divided 1/2 teaspoon salt, divided 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, divided
PREPARATION If the preserves are chunky, chop any large pieces. Combine preserves (or jam or marmalade), 3 tablespoons orange juice, mustard, ginger and curry powder in a small bowl; set aside. Pour pineapple juice into a measuring cup; if necessary, add enough orange juice to equal 1/3 cup total. Set aside. Heat butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork chops, sprinkle with 1/2 tablespoon thyme, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon pepper. Immediately turn them over and sprinkle with another 1/2 tablespoon thyme and the remaining salt and pepper. Cook the chops, turning occasionally and adjusting the heat as necessary, until browned, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the reserved juice to the pan. Reduce heat to medium and continue cooking until the chops are cooked through, 2 to 3 minutes more. Transfer to a platter and keep warm. Add pineapple, the reserved sauce and the remaining 1 tablespoon thyme to the pan. Cook, stirring, until hot and bubbling, 1 to 2 minutes. To serve, spoon the sauce onto the chops and pineapple.
TIPS & NOTES Tip: To remove thyme leaves from the sprig, hold each sprig at the top with one hand, then run the thumb and finger of the other hand down the stem to strip off the leaves.
NUTRITION Per serving: 257 calories; 8 g fat ( 3 g sat , 3 g mono ); 72 mg cholesterol; 25 g carbohydrates; 8 g added sugars; 22 g protein; 2 g fiber; 388 mg sodium; 434 mg potassium.
Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (78% daily value)
Carbohydrate Servings: 1 1/2 **************************** Peach Cobbler
Try this great tasting Peach Cobbler Recipe for dessert tonight! If you like this peach cobbler recipe, you can easily switch out the peach fruit for your favorite type of cobbler. Also, please vote in the Peach Cobbler Poll below and tell me your favorite type of cobbler dessert! There are many more links to Peach Cobbler Recipes near the bottom!
Ingredients:
1 stick butter 1 1/2 cup sugar 1 cup flour 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 3/4 cup milk 1 can (30oz) sliced peaches in corn syrup 1 tbs cinnamon
Directions for making Peach Cobbler
Start by preheating the oven to 350F. Take the butter and melt it in 9x13 casserole dish. Then separate half cup of sugar and all the cinnamon; and separate out the peaches from the corn syrup. Next... Mix 1 cup of sugar and the other dry ingredients together in a bowl.
Then... Stir in the milk and corn syrup from peaches. Put peaches in casserole dish with melted butter. Pour batter over the top of the peaches. Mix cinnamon and 1/2 cup sugar; sprinkle over top of mixture.
Now... Bake at 350 45 min for 1hr or until top crust is golden brown.
**************************** Smoothies
This refreshing blend of pear, grapes, banana, and cranberry juices gets a slightly sweet flavor from the honey. Try this drink for breakfast or enjoy it as a snack.
Prep Time: 5 mins Total Time: 5 mins Servings: one 14-ounce serving
Ingredients 1 ripe Bartlett pear, peeled, cored and cut into chunks 1/2 cup green seedless grapes 1 small ripe banana 2 teaspoons honey 1/4 cup cranberry juice cocktail 5 ice cubes How to Make Fruit Smoothies Learn how to make fruit smoothies, and you'll always have the perfect summer snack solution. These snack/drink hybrids are delicious and refreshing, but the true triumph is in how waistline-friendly ... Directions 1 Puree pear, grapes, banana and honey in blender. With motor on, add cranberry juice through feed tube; puree until blended. Add ice through feed tube one cube at a time until thick and smooth. Makes one 14-ounce serving.
Nutrition Facts Calories 320, Total Fat 1.5 g, Saturated Fat .5 g, Cholesterol 0 mg, Sodium 4 mg, Carbohydrate 81 g, Protein 2 g. Daily Values: Vitamin A 0%, Vitamin C 0%, Calcium 0%, Iron 0%. Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet
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Strawberry-Banana Smoothies
Servings: Makes 8 (about 1/2-cup) servings.
Ingredients
4 cups sliced fresh strawberries 1 medium banana, sliced 1 6-ounce carton vanilla low-fat yogurt 1 cup ice cubes 1 kiwifruit, peeled and sliced (optional)
Directions 1 In a blender, combine strawberries, banana, and yogurt; cover and blend until smooth. With blender running, add ice cubes, one at a time, through hole in the lid; blend until smooth. Pour into 8 small glasses. If desired, garnish with kiwifruit; serve immediately. Makes 8 (about 1/2-cup) servings.
Nutrition Facts Calories 54, Total Fat 1 g, Saturated Fat 0 g, Cholesterol 1 mg, Sodium 15 mg, Carbohydrate 12 g, Fiber 2 g, Protein 2 g. Exchanges: Fruit 1.
Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet
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Just Peachy Smoothies Prep Time: 10 mins Total Time: 10 mins Servings: 4 (1-cup servings)
Ingredients 2 cups sliced fresh peaches, nectarines, and/or apricots 1 cup fat-free milk 1 6-ounce carton peach fat-free yogurt with no-calorie sweetener 1 cup small ice cubes or crushed ice
Directions 1 In a blender, combine fruit, milk, and yogurt. Cover and blend until smooth. 2 Gradually add ice through hole in lid, blending until almost smooth. If desired, garnish each serving with fresh fruit. Makes 4 (1-cup) servings.
DOUBLE BLUE BERRY SMOOTHIES Prepare Just Peachy Smoothies as directed through Step 2, except substitute blueberry yogurt for peach yogurt and 1-1/2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries and 1/2 cup fresh or frozen blackberries for peaches.
DOUBLE RED BERRY SMOOTHIES Prepare Just Peachy Smoothies as directed through Step 2, except substitute strawberry yogurt for peach yogurt and 1-1/2 cups fresh or frozen sliced strawberries and 1/2 cup fresh or frozen red raspberries for peaches.
FRUIT SMOOTHIE POPS Prepare peach, blue berry, or red berry mixtures as directed through Step 1. Omit ice. Pour mixture into 14 compartments of freezer pop molds. (Or pour into 3-ounce paper or plastic cups. Cover with foil. Make a slit in the foil of each. Add sticks.) Freeze for 4 to 6 hours or until firm. Makes 14 pops.
MAKE-AHEAD DIRECTIONS FOR POPS Prepare pops as directed; freeze for up to 1 week.
Nutrition Facts Calories 78, Total Fat 0 g, Saturated Fat 0 g, Cholesterol 2 mg, Sodium 52 mg, Carbohydrate 16 g, Fiber 2 g, Protein 4 g. Daily Values: Vitamin A 0%, Vitamin C 0%, Calcium 0%, Iron 0%. Exchanges: Fruit .5. Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet **************************** Easy Peach Smoothie
I have to admit! I love fruit smoothies! This Peach Smoothie Recipe is one of the best there is! Fruit smoothies are very healthy and full of natural nutrition. Drinking one or two of these peach smoothies or other flavored fruit smoothies will help you live a healthier lifestyle! Peaches are a good source of dietary fiber, can help prevent cancers, and even make your skin look healthier! So why not try a peach smoothie today?!
Peach Smoothie 2 cups ice 2 peaches, pitted and cut into pieces 3/4 cup skim milk 7 ounces 2% yogurt (your favorite flavor) 1/2 cup tangerine juice or orange juice 3 tablespoons honey
In a blender, combine ice, peaches, milk, yogurt and juice. Place lid on blender and select mix or crush setting. Blend until smooth; while machine is on, pour in honey and blend an additional 30 seconds. **************************** ?"L.A. is a very confusing place, only place I know where you can have, simultaneously, a drought and a flood. Every time you watch the weatherman, he goes, 'Rained all day, didn't help the drought. Back to you, Tom.' I got news for you, folks. If water doesn't solve your drought, you're screwed." - Bill Hicks **************************** The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't smoke or drink, (7) don't want to wear your clothes, (8) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children!!! (11) And finally, I can lock them in the garage and CPS will not hassle me! If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? **************************** Are you sitting down? Okay, here's the bombshell. The volcanic eruption in Iceland, since its first spewing of volcanic ash has, in just FOUR DAYS, NEGATED EVERY SINGLE EFFORT you have made in the past five years to control CO2 emissions on our planet – all of you. Of course you know about this evil carbon dioxide that we are trying to suppress – it’s that vital chemical compound that every plant requires to live and grow, and to synthesize into oxygen for us humans, and all animal life. I know, it's very disheartening to realize that all of the carbon emission savings you have accomplished while suffering the inconvenience and expense of: driving Prius hybrids, buying fabric grocery bags, sitting up till midnight to finish your kid's "The Green Revolution" science project, throwing out all of your non-green cleaning supplies, using only two squares of toilet paper, putting a brick in your toilet tank reservoir, selling your SUV and speedboat, vacationing at home instead of abroad, nearly getting hit every day on your bicycle, replacing all of your 50 cents light bulbs with $10.00 light bulbs...well, all of those things you have done have all gone down the tubes in just four days. The volcanic ash emitted into the Earth's atmosphere in just four days - yes - FOUR DAYS ONLY by that volcano in Iceland, has totally erased every single effort you have made to reduce the evil beast, carbon. And there are around 200 active volcanoes on the planet spewing out this crud any one time - EVERY DAY. I don't really want to rain on your parade too much, but I should mention that when the volcano Mt Pinatubo erupted in the Philippines in 1991, it spewed out more greenhouse gases into the atmosphere than the entire human race had emitted in its entire YEARS on earth. Yes folks, Mt Pinatubo was active for over one year – think about it. Of course I shouldn't spoil this touchy-feely tree-hugging moment and mention the effect of solar and cosmic activity and the well-recognized 800-year global heating and cooling cycle, which keep happening, despite our completely insignificant efforts to affect climate change. And I do wish I had a silver lining to this volcanic ash cloud but the fact of the matter is that the bush fire season across the western USA and Australia this year alone will negate your efforts to reduce carbon in our world for the next two to three years. And it happens every year. Just remember that your government just tried to impose a whopping carbon tax on you on the basis of the bogus “human-caused†climate change scenario. Hey, isn’t it interesting how they don’t mention “Global Warming†any more, but just “Climate Change†- you know why? It’s because the planet has COOLED by 0.7 degrees in the past century and these global warming bull artists got caught with their pants down. And just keep in mind that you might yet have an Emissions Trading Scheme – that whopping new tax – imposed on you, that will achieve absolutely nothing except make you poorer. It won’t stop any volcanoes from erupting, that’s for sure. But hey, relax, give the world a hug and have a nice day! PS: I wonder if Iceland is buying carbon offsets?
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Proverbs 16:19
(19) Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, Than to divide the spoil with the proud.
In 1621, Robert Burton wrote in his The Anatomy of Melancholy, "They are proud in humility; proud in that they are not proud." How carnal men are to twist virtue into sin! It is enough to make us suspicious when we come across a "humble" person. We have undoubtedly crossed paths with those who were so proud that they oozed with false humility. Many religious leaders in the world today openly appear this way, as they wax eloquent on their televised evangelical programs. Authors have written dozens of books and Hollywood has produced many movies to expose the hypocrisy of such individuals. Uncountable numbers of both religious and secular leaders have risen to power on the banner of humility. Feigning an image of heartfelt concern for those who can help place them in the limelight, they glow with an air of counterfeit humility. Eventually, this hypocritical image always becomes apparent, just as our sins expose us in due time (Numbers 32:23). The sin of pride is no different. Of the many things that people have written on humility, as much as one-third refers to false humility. For instance, the French moralist La Rochefoucald wrote in Maxims in1665: "Humility is often only feigned submission which people use to render others submissive. It is a subterfuge of pride which lowers itself in order to rise."
2 Thessalonians 3:3 “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.â€
******************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
vituperate • vye-TOO-puh-rayt • verb 1 : to abuse or censure severely or abusively 2 : to use harsh condemnatory language
Examples: During the team's recent seven-game losing streak, the coach was vituperated by many local sportswriters.
"No one likes to be belittled, ignored, vituperated, or unappreciated. Everyone warms to kindness, patience, and respect." -- From Susan Smith Jones's 2011 book The Joy Factor
**********************
CONFUCIUS QUOTE: He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good.
THINGS TO PONDER: Why does belly button lint not match your shirt color?
You might be a REDNECK if . . . . . . you've ever burped and killed a fly.
"There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread." - Mother Teresa
********************
PET TIP:
It's 4th of July weekend and many cities and municipalities are having their fireworks displays. The weekend will be filled with picnics and parties too. All that excitement adds up to a lot of fun - but it also represents a lot of potential dangers for your dog. The most common dog owner complaint during the 4th of July weekend is their dog's reaction to fireworks. The combination of loud noises and bright lights can scare dogs that don't normally have a history of noise phobias. Some dogs will exhibit signs of fear that can include pacing, panting, trembling, salivating, trying to escape and/or barking. Many dogs will actually injure themselves when trying to escape. (I've even seen dogs that had been hit by a car trying to flee from noises.) What can you do to help keep your dog calm during the fireworks? Here are some tips. 1. Don't take your dog to the fireworks. Make sure he or she is calm at home. Or stay home with your dog during the fireworks. Keep your dog confined in a comfortable location if possible. 2. Don't try too hard to reassure your dog during a fearful event with petting, soothing words, or extra attention as this can sometimes exacerbate the problem by reinforcing your dog's fearful response. 3. Some dogs are very sensitive to peoples' moods, so they may be influenced by the way that you react to the noise. It is best to act happy and upbeat or to redirect your dog's attention to some absorbing activity. 4. If you must leave your dog alone, consider what would make your dog most comfortable. Bring your dog indoors. Would your dog feel safest in a crate? Turn on the radio/television/fan/air conditioner as ("white noise"). Make sure you provide a comfortable hiding place or "safe place" in case your dog is scared during the fireworks. Another way to keep your dog safe and well cared for is to ensure that you can do the best for him in the case of an emergency. Emergency room and veterinary visits can be expensive and can cause a difficult financial burden on dog lovers. This is especially true when everything seems to be so expensive these days. So please consider pet insurance . Having pet insurance will help you do the best for your dog in the case of a problem. For more information or a free quote, go to petinsurance.com. So before the fireworks, try to anticipate your dog's exposure to noises and avoid such exposure, if possible. Talk to your pet in a light, cheerful tone that sends a message that the storm is no big deal. Encourage your dog to find a quiet restful place to wait out the noise. Have a happy and safe 4th of July!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Homemade Wormer for Kittens
Regular worming is an important part of caring for your kitten. If worms are left untreated, they can cause your kitten serious illness or death. There are wormers on the market that you can give your kitten to kill parasites; however, some of the chemicals in them can lower your pet's immune system and cause disease. Fortunately, there are natural worming treatments that you can use at home to keep your kitty parasite-free.
Homemade Kitten Wormers While there are several natural remedy suggestions for worming kittens, some of them will be difficult for your cat to ingest because they taste bad. You want to use a wormer that is virtually tasteless when mixed with food. Two popular natural wormers are food-grade diatomaceous earth (DE) and ground pumpkin seeds. You can use both remedies in either canned or dry kitten food, but kittens usually love canned food, so offering your kitten the remedy in a small amount of canned food first will work best to ensure that the kitty consumes the required dosage. You can follow up with dry food as desired.
Food-Grade Diatomaceous Earth According to Earthworkshealth.com, food-grade Diatomaceous Earth is a nontoxic, nonchemical organic product made of the fossilized remains of tiny microscopic shells. It comes already prepared in a 5 lb. bag, it has no detectable taste and it is safe for pets, humans and the environment. Although food-grade DE is not a chemical, it has a chemical effect on parasites. Add ½ tsp. of DE to your kitten's food once a day for 90 days and every third day thereafter, to kill any existing worms and their eggs as well as to prevent future infestations. DE kills the parasites by dehydrating them; the parasites are then expelled through your kitten's feces.
Ground Pumpkin Seeds Ground pumpkin seeds are a remedy that you will have to prepare yourself, but fortunately, you will not have to shell them. Unshelled pumpkin seeds contain cucurbitin, an amino acid that eliminates intestinal parasites by paralyzing and expelling them from a kitten's digestive tract. After washing and drying the seeds thoroughly, grind the seeds in a food blender until they are almost like powder. The seeds are most effective when they are freshly ground, so you will have to grind them right before every feeding. If you want to grind a large amount of seeds into powder ahead of time, be sure to store the powder in an air-tight container and keep it in the refrigerator. Add ¼ tsp. to each of your kitten's meals every day to kill existing worms and keep your pet worm-free.
References
Earthworks Health: Diatomaceous Earth--Pets and Animals Garden Harvest Supply: Diatomaceous Earth, Food Grade The Daily Puppy: How to Make a Homemade Cat Wormer
********************** Mediterranean Nachos
PREP TIME10 Min TOTAL TIME10 Min SERVINGS6
Add Greek flavor to nachos with feta cheese, sun-dried tomatoes and olives in a tasty, 10-minute appetizer.
INGREDIENTS
2 tablespoons finely chopped kalamata olives 2 tablespoons finely chopped sun-dried tomatoes in oil (from 7-oz jar) 2 teaspoons oil from jar of sun-dried tomatoes 1 small plum (Roma) tomato, finely chopped, drained 1 medium green onion, thinly sliced (1 tablespoon) 4 oz restaurant-style corn tortilla chips (about 30 chips) 1 package (4 oz) crumbled feta cheese, finely crumbled
1In small bowl, mix olives, sun-dried tomatoes, oil, plum tomato and onion; set aside. 2On large microwavable plate, arrange tortilla chips in single layer. Top evenly with cheese. Microwave uncovered on High 1 minute. Rotate plate 1/2 turn; microwave 30 to 60 seconds longer or until cheese is melted and bubbly. 3Spoon tomato mixture evenly over chips and cheese.
Expert Tips For an extra flavor boost, look for sun-dried tomatoes in oil with herbs.
Choose the unbroken chips from the bag for this appetizer. The broken chips are fine for dipping in salsa or for crumbling onto salads.
Feta cheese is available plain or flavored. You could use cheese with garlic, basil, sun-dried tomato or herbs.
********************
Making Homemade Peanut Butter
There are some foods that are more economical to buy at the store rather than make at home. Dried pasta products are one example. Peanut butter is also probably more economical to buy at the store also. However, there are several reasons you may want to try making it on your own. It doesn't require many ingredients, and making it yourself can be a fun activity for your family. You can also use your creativity and make it special. Also, homemade peanut butter is healthier, as it will lack many of the preservatives of the store bought variety. As with all food made without preservatives, it will have a short shelf life. You will definitely have to keep it in the refrigerator and use up within a couple weeks. Or you may can it. (To can it, fill clean, mason canning jars full of the peanut butter, leaving about an inch of space at the top. Simmer at 180 degrees for one hour in a water bath container. If the oil starts to separate and rise to the top, just turn the jar upside down. For those of you who want to give it a try, here is how to make homemade peanut butter.
Ingredients
Peanuts Oil Use approximately 2 Tablespoons of Oil for every Cup of Peanuts. You can also add 1/2 teaspoon of salt. Peanuts do have a lot of oil already in them. If you use a peanut with a lot of oil, like Spanish peanuts, you do not have to add as much additional oil. A good blend that requires no additional oil is 1 Cup of Spanish peanuts and 1 Cup of Virginia Peanuts.
Procedure To make the peanut butter, all you have to do is put your peanuts and oil in the blender and whip them together. If you want your peanut butter chunky, remove about 1/4 Cup of the peanuts before your begin blending the peanuts and oil. When the mixture is almost blended, add the nuts. Puree it a few more times, to break up the nuts and finish the blending. Here is your chance to be creative! The above recipe is very plain. If you are going to the effort of doing it yourself, make it special. Use some delicious macadamia nuts for the chunks, or add some honey for the oil. You can also add pecans, sunflower seeds, and other nuts, some honey for the oil, or even some chocolate or butterscotch chips.
Peanut butter doesn't have to be plain. Have some fun with it. Think of the cookies you can make! ********************** NACHO SKILLET CASSEROLE
Serves 6
Finding a great Mexican dish is nacho problem anymore. This scrumptious skillet has a little bit of everything from Mexicorn to kidney beans. Say adios to the same old tiresome dishes and hola to a brand new Mexican dish. Ingredients
1 lb. lean ground beef 1 medium onion, chopped 1 green bell pepper, finely chopped 1 red bell pepper, finely chopped 2 tsp. sugar 1 tsp. oregano 1-2 tsp. chili powder 2 (15 1/2 oz.) cans kidney beans, rinsed and drained 3 (8 oz.) cans tomato sauce 1 (12 oz.) can Mexicorn 2 cups baked corn tortilla chips (optional) 4 oz. shredded cheddar cheese (optional)
Methods/steps In a large skillet, brown ground beef and onion; drain well. Stir in bell peppers, sugar, oregano, chili powder, kidney beans, tomato sauce, and corn. Simmer 10 to 20 minutes, stirring occasionally, until most of the moisture is absorbed. Top with cheese, if desired. You can eat this by itself, or use the chips to eat the mixture like a dip.
******************** World's Greatest Fudge
Ingredients:
4 tbsp cocoa 1 box (16 oz.) 10-X sugar 4 tbsp. peanut butter 1/2 lb. (2 sticks) margarine or butter
Steps...
Mix the cocoa and sugar together well until they are of a single consistency. In a double boiler melt the butter and peanut butter together. Pour the melted mix into the bowl with the sugar/cocoa mix in it. Mix well (but not with a mixer, but rather with your hands or a wooden spoon). Grease a 9 x 9 pan (or one of similar size). Place the fudge mixture into the pan and pat down until evenly distributed. Cut the fudge as desired (this is important to do before you go to the next step because it is not easy to cut after this point...) Place the fudge into the fridge until it is firm (actually more like hard) When you are going to eat the fudge get it out for a bit and let it warm up to room temperature (much better than when it is hard and cold).
ENJOY.... (P.S. Don't feel bad if the first time you don't have the patience to wait for the fudge to warm up to room temp. I make this thing all the time and I still wind up eating at least one piece while it is cold...)
******************** Greenock’s Morning Potato Cubes The great thing about this recipe is that you can easily adjust it to your own preferences by switching the spices called for in the recipe into your own favorite.
INGREDIENTS 1 medium potato per person (red skin Yukon potatoes work well) Dash olive oil 1/2 tablespoon butter per potato Seasoning to taste - Our favorite is Szeged Brand Chicken Rub or Steak Rub. When in season, fresh chopped herbs are wonderful. DIRECTIONS Wash potatoes. Cut into 1/2 to 3/4 inch cubes. Heat a high sided skillet with a lid with a dash of olive oil. Add the potatoes and toss to coat with oil. When coated, add water to fill about halfway up the potatoes and put on the lid to steam. Check the pan often to make sure the water has not cooked away completely and add more if needed. The potatoes are done steaming when you can slide a fork in easily. (There should be very little, if any, water left at this point.) Remove the lid and add the butter, tossing to coat the potatoes. Add the seasoning of your choice now and toss a little more to distribute it. Cook without stirring for a few minutes until the bottom of the potatoes start to get golden and crisp. Toss every few minutes until the potatoes reach the crispness you prefer.
********************
NAILS IN THE FENCE Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence. (Most importantlythe last sentence) There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.'
It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you! If it comes back to you, you will then know you have a circle of friends. YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED! Now send this to every friend you have!! And to your family (they need to know that you love them too). Please forgive me if I have ever left a 'hole' in your fence. ********************
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !. After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?' 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.' 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs... Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said. 'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.' 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so.. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.. 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?' 'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.' 'Tripod?' 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.' Mrs. Smith fainted
******************************** Do you know why Polish men, when they go to sleep, bring one glass full of water and one cup empty?
It's because they doesn't know if they'll be thirsty or not. ********************************
I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes." ******************************** Never tell evil of a man, if you do not know it for a certainty, and if you do know it for a certainty, then ask yourself, "Why should I tell it?"—Lavater.
*********************************** School Principal: I've called you into my office, Peter, because I want to talk to you about two words I wish you wouldn't use so often. One is "great" and the other is "lousy." Peter: Certainly, sir. What are they?
********************************
I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day. My secretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday, and there it was, on the back of a kitchen chair.
******************** When the school was broken into, the thieves took absolutely everything - desks, books, blackboards, everything apart from the soap in the lavatories and all the towels. The police are looking for a pair of dirty criminals. ********************************
In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and couldn't bear passing her by. He completed the job for her, and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, "There, little lady, that's done!" "Quiet," she ordered him. "You'll wake up my husband. He's taking a nap in the back seat."
************************* The water-proof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine screen doors A book on how to read Inflatable dart boards A dictionary index Powdered water Pedal powered wheel chairs Water proof tea bags Watermelon seed sorter Zero proof alchohol Reusable ice cubes See through tiolet tissue Skinless bananas Do it yourself roadmap Helicopter ejector seat
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
An "Oldie but a Goodie"
THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD FOLKS:
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.. While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.' The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?' 'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.' The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?' The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?' The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens. ************************* Chalk up one for the good guys!! See if you enjoy this as much as I did. AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Alex I probably don't have to ask you to share this one.. ******************************
QUOTES:
Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them. - Robertson Davies
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. - Alice Kahn
CONFUCIOUS SAYS: Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.
THINGS TO PONDER: Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all? "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." - Robert F. Kennedy ================
JOKES:
A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner. The man, who uses both creamer and sugar in his coffee, notices that the container is empty. As the waitress rushes by, he asks her to bring him cream and sugar for his coffee. The waitress, busier than she can ever remember being before, rushes to the back to pick up more orders. As she passes the cabinet where the extra sugar and cream are kept, she sets a plate down and puts sugar cubes and creamer packets in her bosom because both her hands are full. After she has served the two plates she was holding, she returns to the man and asks him, "How many sugar cubes did you want in your coffee?"
The man says, "Two's fine."
She reaches into her bra, pulls out two sugar cubes and drops them into his cup. "And cream?" she asks.
The man looks at her, squarely in the eye and says, "You wouldn't dare!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you do when an epilectic takes a bath?
Throw in your laundry.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One of Sigmund Freud's early patients rushed out into an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and Viennese pastries, she suddenly burst out crying. Her friend begged her to share what was wrong. "Oh, it's just terrible," she wailed. "Today the doctor told me I'm in love with my father, and. . .and. . .and you know, he's a married man!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes
How many can you solve? (Answers below)
1. A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction taken by the first member.
2. Complications arose during an investigation of dietary influence: one researcher was unable to assimilate adipose tissue and another was unable to consume tissue consisting chiefly of muscle fiber. By reciprocal arrangement between the two researchers, total consumption of the viands under consideration was achieved, this leaving the original container of the viands devoid of contents.
3. A young male human was situated near the intersection of two supporting structural elements at right angles to each other: said subject was involved in ingesting a saccharine composition prepared in conjunction with the ritual observance of an annual fixed-day religious festival. Insertion into the saccharine composition of the opposable digit of his forelimb was followed by removal of a drupe of genus prune. Subsequently the subject made a declarative statement regarding the high quality of his character as a young male human.
4. A triumvirate of murine rodents totally deviod of ophthalmic acuity were observed in a state of rapid locomotion in pursuit of an agriculturalist's marital adjunct. Said adjunct then performed triple caudectomy utilizing an acutely honed bladed instrument generally used for the subdivision of edible tissue.
5. A female of the species homo sapiens was the possesor of a small immature ruminant of the genus ovis, the outer most covering of which reflected all wavelengths of visible light with a luminosity equal to that mass of naturally occurring microscopically crystalline water. Regardless of the translational pathway chosen by the homo sapien, the probability was 1 that the forementioned ruminent would select the same pathway.
6. A human female, extremely captious and given to opposed behavior, was questioned as to the dynamic state of her cultivated tract of land used for production of various types of flora. The tract components were enumerated as argentous tone-producing agents, a rare species of oceaninc growth and pulchritudinous young females situated in a linear orientation.
1. Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, And Jill came tumbling after.
2. Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. And so.......(I don't remember the words) They ate the platter clean.
3. Little Jack Horner Sat in the corner Eating his Christmas pie He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a plum And said "What a good boy am I!"
4. Three blind mice, three blind mice See how they run, see how they run. They all ran after the farmer's wife Who cut off their tails with a carving knife Did you ever see such a sight in your life As three blind mice.
5. Mary had a Little Lamb Whose fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, The lamb was sure to go.
6. Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow. With silver bells, and cockle shells And pretty maidens, all in a row.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom & Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so", said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when you have a serious overbite?
When beaver starts tasting like shit.
------------------------
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Never lose sight of the glorious work to which you have been called. Let no riches entice you from the path of miracle-working with Me." -- GOD Oops! My Mistake! "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."1 There's a wonderful beach near to where I grew up in Australia. It's called the Forty-mile Beach which stretches North of Noosa Heads in Southern Queensland for 38 miles. It's a wide beach with exquisite fine white sand that is so tightly packed that the beach is actually gazetted on maps as a highway. Cars and vehicles are going back and forth all the time. You just need to be careful to get in and out before high tide. A few years back when I was visiting family, I rented a small four-wheel-drive and drove the entire length of this beach. Joy and one of my sisters were with me. About mid-way are the beautiful colored sands, which are quite fascinating. There is also a large wrecked ship that got tossed up onto the beach, I presume in stormy weather. It is more than half rusted away. As we were merrily driving along there was another vehicle approaching us from the opposite direction. Startled, I said to Joy and my sister, "Look at this idiot. He's driving on the wrong side of the beach!" Oops … the idiot was me! I wasn't in California. I was in Australia where they drive on the left side of the road, and I was on the right side. On this occasion right for me was definitely wrong! I was red-faced!
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to always remember whenever there is a difference of opinion to never jump to the conclusion that I am in the right and the other person is in the wrong, but seriously consider first that I may be the one who is in the wrong. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." Proverbs 14:12 (New International Version (NIV)) 12 There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.
******************************* WORD FOR THE DAY:
enervate • EN-er-vayt • verb 1 : to reduce the mental or moral vigor of 2 : to lessen the vitality or strength of
Examples: Dehydration and prolonged exposure to the sun had enervated the shipwrecked crew, leaving them almost too weak to hail the passing vessel.
"This is a life-saving practice because it greatly helps reduce the stress and tension that both wears our physical organism and enervates our energies, which is our life force and vitality." -- From an article by Lama Surya Das on The Huffington Post, June 4, 2011
******************************* How to Care for a Conure Parrot
Conures are New World parrots found from Mexico through to Southern Chile. They're small in size but they make up for it with super-sized personalities! Not all of the various species of conures are kept as pets but the information provided in this article will apply to the most commonly kept ones, the Aratinga and the Pyrrhura genera. Ranging from cuddly to talkative, conures can make special pets for those willing to put in the care needed to keep birds in the home environment. This article will explain some of the basics of caring for these little superstars.
Steps
1 Select your conure. Select your conure. Be sure that keeping a bird as a pet fits in with your lifestyle and that you're willing to put in the regular care required for a caged bird for around 40 years (the lifespan of the conure). Be aware that birds make a mess with their seeds, their water, their feathers and so forth as well as making noise. Obviously, your own living arrangements come into the decision too – are you renting, owning your house, or do you move about a lot? When choosing a conure, do some research into the many species of conure you can choose from so that you know which one will best suit your preferences. Places to find a conure include bird shows, bird specialty stores, classified ads, and online sites. Be certain of the reputation of the seller, be certain of the bird's health and robustness, and be certain of the bird's age. Younger birds tend to come from breeders, while older birds tend to come from owners who can no longer care for them for one reason or other. When deciding on your conure, consider the following:[1]
Is the bird active, curious, and moving about? Does he have bright eyes? Does he have a clean cere? Does he have clean legs and vent? Are his feathers smooth and clean? Is he standing upright in posture, with a full chest, and breathing quietly? Does he appear to have a sound appetite?
2 A playful Blue Crown Conure Prepare your conure's home before bringing him back home. Get the right size of cage. Conures need big cages and lots of toys. Intelligent and constantly busy, you'll need a large cage so that he can spread his wings without touching the sides of the cage. His tail should not touch the cage bottom or brush the cage top when standing in it. While a cage measuring around 2 x 2 x 3 feet (60 x 60 x 90cm) is the minimum, bear in mind the basic rules of thumb that "bigger is always better" and "one size larger than the pet store recommends". Choose a cage with some horizontal bars in it, to allow for climbing exercise. Be sure that the cage tray is easy to move in and out as you'll be changing it daily; using a cage apron is also a good idea as it minimizes the mess you have to clean up each day. The base of the cage should have a grille to catch debris such as seeds and feces and keep these away from your bird for good health. Inspect cages with coated bars carefully. Any chips or holes in the coating can encourage your conure to nibble at them and cause the finish to deteriorate or might even ingest the materials. Make sure the cage is in excellent condition. If the cage is galvanized, wash it down with vinegar and water and scrub with a wire brush to remove any loose parts of galvanized wire, then rinse thoroughly and dry completely before adding the bird. These bits of wire can be ingested by the conure, leaving him sick. Do not choose a bamboo or wooden cage. The conure will chew on it until he's out of it! Check the cage door to ensure that it opens easily for you but is secure enough to keep the conure inside. Conures can learn to undo doors to their cage, and if this happens, you might need to include a padlock! Get a cage cover for nighttime.
3 Fill the cage with enrichment opportunities. Fill the cage with enrichment opportunities. Conures are inquisitive, intelligent birds and need to be kept entertained, so be sure to add some sturdy toys that your conure cannot rip apart. As well, add wooden or rope perches and some toys that can be ripped apart and disposed of. Mirrored toys are much enjoyed by many conures but be careful as mirror toys can create behavioral problems in some birds; use it in moderation. Add essentials such as a feeding bowl (stainless steel), seed guard, water container, etc. Be prepared to rotate toys regularly to introduce novelty and to reduce the chances of boredom. Safe toys include ones made from untreated wood and rope toys (just be sure that the rope cannot fray; if it does, remove frayed edges to prevent the nails from catching on it). Avoid any toys that are brittle or easily broken. Anything that can catch on beaks, tongues, or toenails should also be avoided. Provide perches at different heights to make it more interesting.
4 Place the cage with a solid wall to the back of it. Place the cage with a solid wall to the back of it. This provides security as it blocks off any possibility of being sneaked up on. Also, place the cage where there is frequent household activity so that your conure is a part of everyday happenings. The only places to keep your bird away from are the kitchen and the bathroom, as these areas can produce chemical fumes dangerous for your conure (Teflon, hairspray, air freshener, etc.).
5 Bring your conure home. Bring your conure home. Realize that there will be an adjustment phase, just as with any pet. During this time, be sure to spend a lot of time talking to your conure and reassuring him. Use his name often and be sure to feed him on time and keep his cage clean. You'll soon notice he is settling in when he is spending equal amounts of time each day playing, feeding, sleeping and defecating.
6 Be prepared for the noise. Be prepared for the noise. Conures can be very, very loud. Generally the Aratinga Conures (such as the Sun Conure and Jenday Conure) are louder and have more mischievous personalities than the Pyrrhura Conures (such as the Green-cheeked Conure), and have fancier plumage, but Pyrrhura Conures can hold their own, too. Whatever type of conure you choose to own, you'll be dealing with screaming, especially early in the morning and at dusk. Remember to get that cage cover!
7 Feed your conure properly. Feed your conure properly. Conures require a diet of fresh seed and sprouted seeds. They can be given specially made parrot pellets. In addition, provide other food such as unsweetened breakfast cereal, cooked beans, cooked rice, cooked pasta, small wholewheat bread cubes, and mung beans. Provide dark green or dark orange vegetables and fruits to ensure that your bird is getting vitamin A; good choices include carrots, dried red peppers, broccoli, and dandelion greens. Canned veggies are hit and miss in popularity and tend to have too much sodium anyway. For protein, provide small portions of well-cooked meat, water-packed tuna, fully cooked scrambled eggs, unsweetened yogurt and tiny bits of low-fat cheese. Without lactase in their system, dairy products are hard to digest so keep them to a minimum. At all times provide access to clean water. Foods your conure should not be eating are listed under "Warnings". You can purchase vitamin-enriched bird seed; ask at a quality pet food retailer. Don't feed too much seed; it is fattening in high amounts.
8 Give your conure plenty of attention! Take him out of his cage every day, and take him out whenever you plan on doing something for a long period of time, like working on the computer, making something, or watching TV. Give your conure plenty of attention! Take him out of his cage every day, and take him out whenever you plan on doing something for a long period of time, like working on the computer, making something, or watching TV. If you purchase a birdy harness, you can also safely take him outside for errands or trips to the vet. Have fun introducing new toys to your conure. Naturally curious, you'll be treated to observing the interest and investigation of the conure as he gets to know his new toys. Occasionally though, it might take a few days for it to be familiar enough – in this case, just leave it near the cage for observation and introduce the new object gradually. Also, be sure to teach your conure how to keep himself entertained to prevent boredom; you can't be with him all day, so he needs to know how to take care of his play needs alone too. If he doesn't learn this, he might start bad habits such as constant screaming or chewing. Purchase a playgym made especially for birds. This can be used with your conure outside of the cage to keep him entertained. This should be placed where people are about so that he can be watched and can feel a part of the family. Play games with your conure. Try hiding objects underneath a paper cup or similar item and have the bird guess where the hidden item is. You'll be as absorbed as your pet in this game. Knot up a rope and see how it takes him to guess how to unknot the rope. Place a towel over him gently and see how long it takes him to work his way out. Play tug-of-war with him using an empty paper towel roll; you hold one end, he'll hold the other, and... tug!
9 Find a good vet, one who can clip wings.Find a good vet, one who can clip wings. You'll need to visit the vet yearly. Along with these birdy well checks, know how to spot an illness in your conure. A healthy conure will eliminate around 25 to 50 times a day (which is why daily cleaning of the cage tray is essential) and the feces will appear tubular, green in the center, with a white edge. If the amount, color and/or texture of the droppings change from what you're used to observing, you'll know that something is wrong with your conure. And, if you notice any change in your conure's behavior ( such as, drooping wings, listlessness, not eating, sleeping constantly, lame, loss of weight, runny eyes, noisy breathing, etc., head off to the vet. Parrots are very good at hiding their illness, and often if you "wait and see if he gets over it," your conure will die. Also, clipping wings and nails is something best done for the first few times by a vet. For those who have issues with the idea of clipping wings, be aware that many conures have died by flying into dangerous areas, such as pots of boiling water, outside, and into ceiling or cooling fans. Beware of household dangers. You have a very curious pet in the conure, so he will investigate wherever he can get. Toilet bowls, fish bowls, prescription drugs, cords, trash cans, ovens, dryers, heavy cushions, and so forth, are all potential sources of interest, chewing, falling into, getting stuck under, ingesting, etc. Many household fumes are also dangerous to conures, such as bleach, shoe polish, paints, insecticides, air fresheners, hairspray, overheated Teflon, formaldehyde, pest fumigation, cigarettes, lighter fluid, paint thinner, household cleaners, acetone, etc. For your bird's health sake and your own, switch to greener or healthier alternatives. Drafts caused by frequently opened doors or by open windows can make your conure sick. Be sure to keep the cage away from drafts.
10 No matter how friendly the dog, keep your conure separate. Keep your conure away from other pets. Dogs and cats can kill with just their saliva, and though it might be funny to watch your conure "ride" the dog, a conure is prey and a dog is a predator, and there's no point taking risks with your conure's life.
11 Share the love of conures with others Most of all, enjoy! Conures may be messy and noisy, but they'll mess and scream their way into your heart. Learn their different habits, vocalizations, and how they have fun and be sure to return the favor by having fun with them. Conures can be trained to do many things. The most important thing is that you're willing to put the time in and to you're observant enough to recognize the bird's cues as well as your own. Borrow a book on bird or conure training for more details.
Tips
Learn birdy body language. That way, you'll be able to tell when your conure wants attention and when he wants some time to himself. Beware of generalist pet stores! Not only do these places mass-produce and often give poor care to their "inventory," it'll be hard to make a rational decision when faced with seeing the poor birds before you. Clean the cage weekly, without fail. The health of your bird depends upon this. Provide plenty of clean water for bathing, ensure frequent nail clipping, and protect your conure from mites. If your bird does get mites, visit the vet. Be prepared for yearly molting. It's usual and it can take a while with pet birds. Expect feathers on the base of the cage, some irritability and a desire to be scratched to relieve that itch! Scratch new feathers with care as they're new. Get a good book on avian health so that you know what diseases to keep an eye out for and how to care for different aspects of your bird's health. You can toilet train a conure if you're patient. This can be a very good habit to instill so that your bird can be enjoyed by visitors and squeamish members of the household!
Warnings
Whenever a child handles your conure, be sure to supervise. Even the tamest parrot can bite if scared or provoked, and conners have powerful beaks capable of doing damage. Don't add so many toys to the cage that your bird cannot move about with ease. Chocolate, avocado and rhubarb are poisonous foods for a conure. Also, do not feed them alcohol, candy, potato chips, pretzels, or the seeds or pits from apples, apricots, cherries, peaches, pears, and plums. Avoid creating a possessive bird by ensuring that all members of the family spend time with the new bird. As with humans, stress has long-term health effects. A stressed bird is noticeable by shaking, diarrhea, rapid breathing, fanning of wings and feathers, poor sleeping, and loss of appetite. Try and source the problem, such as a poorly positioned cage, pets or kids harassing it, a constant smell or noise, lots of people visiting, etc. Talk to your conure when changes are about to happen so that he feels reassured.
Things You'll Need
Cage with cage tray and cover Bird toys Perches of varying sizes Bird seed and other appropriate bird food Food and water containers Playgym Suitable position for cage Check of household hazards and removal of any from near bird
******************************
Rita Rudner "Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
P. J. O'Rourke "Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly."
Vince Lombardi "We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time." *******************************
The more-or-less-religious woman was deeply shocked when the new neighbors sent over on Sunday morning to borrow her lawn-mower.
"The very idea," she exclaimed to her maid, "of cutting grass on the Sabbath! Shameful! Certainly, they can't have it. Tell them we haven't any lawn-mower."
******************************* Hot-and-Sweet Freezer Pickles
Serves/Makes: 3 pints
INGREDIENTS: 3 1/2 cups thinly sliced pickling cucumbers 1 medium onion, sliced and separated into rings 2 jalapelo peppers, seeded and sliced 3 cloves garlic, pressed 1 tablespoon salt 1 cup sugar 1 cup white vinegar (5% acidity) 2 tablespoons water
PREPARATION: Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Cook sugar, vinegar, and water in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring until sugar dissolves. Pour mixture over cucumber mixture. Cover and chill 48 hours. Spoon evenly into half-pint or pint canning jars or freezer containers, leaving 1/2-inch of room at the top; seal, label, and freeze pickles 8 hours or up to 6 months. Thaw in refrigerator before serving; use thawed pickles within 1 week.
******************************* Red Rhubarb-Blood Orange Marmalade
4 cups diced fresh rhubarb (about one pound) 2 cups granulated sugar ¼ cup water ½ cup blood orange juice with pulp 2 teaspoons grated orange zest
In a saucepan, combine diced rhubarb with sugar and water. Stir well to dissolve sugar. Add orange juice and orange zest, stirring again. Bring to a boil, and then cook slowly over low heat approximately 45 minutes to an hour. Stir occasionally to check for thickness as liquid evaporates. (When it is thick enough, the mixture should feel resistant to the spoon as you stir.) When the Red Rhubarb-Blood Orange Marmalade has thickened sufficiently, let cool slightly and ladle into sterilized containers (snap-lock style containers are okay if jam is stored in refrigerator and consumed within a few days). Warning! Red Rhubarb-Blood Orange Marmalade can be habit forming, so know that it won’t be around long as family members sneak into the kitchen for just one more taste of that tart zingy flavor on toast, bread slices, or muffins.
******************************* Summer Fresh Freezer Pickles
7 cups thinly sliced pickling cucumbers (with peel) 1 large Vidalia or other sweet onion, sliced paper thin to make onion ringlets 1/2 cup green and red pepper, thinly sliced 2 tablespoons pickling salt 1/2 tablespoon celery seed 1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric 3 cloves fresh garlic, crushed 1 cup white vinegar 1/2 cup distilled water 2 cups white sugar
Slice the vegetables with a mandolin (if available). Combine all the freezer pickle ingredients listed above in a bowl. Stir well; making sure sugar is completely dissolved. Cover and let stand 1-3 hours, then refrigerate for 3 days. Stir every day. Pack into small freezer containers and cover with brine, leaving some room for expansion during freezing. Freeze as desired. Thaw before serving. How simple is that? The wonderful sweet-tart taste of bread-and-butter pickles made without too much fuss. A great freezer pickle recipe for the family cookbook!
******************************* Red, White And Blueberry Trifle
Prep Time: 45 min Cook Time: 30 min Yield: 12 servings
Ingredients: 1 (4.6 oz.) package vanilla pudding and pie filling mix (not instant) 3 cups skim milk 2 pints (4 cups) blueberries 1/3 cup sugar plus 3 tbsps., divided 1/4 cup orange juice plus 2 tbsps., divided 1 pint (2 cups) raspberries Crisco Original No-Stick Cooking Spray 1 (18.25 oz.) package Pillsbury White Cake 1 1/4 cups water 1/3 cup Crisco Pure Vegetable Oil 4 large egg whites 1 cup heavy cream 2 tablespoons powdered sugar
DIRECTIONS 1.COMBINE pudding mix and milk in medium saucepan. Prepare as directed on package. Cover; refrigerate until cool while preparing fruit. 2.RESERVE 1/2 cup blueberries for garnish. Combine remaining 3 1/2 cups blueberries, 1/3 cup sugar and 1/4 cup orange juice in medium nonmetal bowl; stir to mix, crushing berries slightly. Set aside. 3.RESERVE 1/2 cup raspberries for garnish. Combine remaining 1 1/2 cups raspberries, 3 tablespoons sugar and 2 tablespoons orange juice in separate medium nonmetal bowl; stir to mix, crushing berries slightly. Set aside. 4.HEAT oven to 350°F. Spray two 8 or 9-inch round cake pans with no-stick cooking spray. Prepare cake mix as directed on package, using water, oil and egg whites. Pour batter evenly into prepared pans. 5.BAKE 32 to 36 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pans on wire racks 15 minutes. Remove cakes from pans; cool 30 minutes or until completely cooled. 6.CUT cakes in half horizontally to make 4 layers. Place 1 layer in bottom of clear 2 1/2 quart soufflé dish or glass trifle bowl, trimming sides of cake to fit if necessary. Spread with half of crushed blueberry mixture; top with 1/3 pudding. Top with second cake layer, trimmed if necessary, all of the crushed raspberry mixture and 1/3 pudding. Top with third cake layer, trimmed if necessary, remaining crushed blueberry mixture and remaining pudding. Top with fourth cake layer. Cover; refrigerate at least 1 hour before serving. 7.BEAT cream in medium bowl until soft peaks form. Gradually add powdered sugar; beating until stiff peaks form. Top trifle with whipped cream. Sprinkle with reserved blueberries and raspberries. Store in refrigerator.
High Altitude (Above 3500 ft.):
1.SEE cake mix package for directions.
******************************* Star Brownies
Prep Time: 30 Min TOTAL TIME 2 Hr 30 Min SERVINGS 10
INGREDIENTS
1 box (1 lb 2.4 oz) Betty Crocker Original Supreme Premium brownie mix Water, vegetable oil and egg called for on brownie mix box
1/2 cup Betty Crocker Whipped fluffy white frosting (from 12-oz container)
Betty Crocker Decorating Decors stars
DIRECTIONS: 1 Heat oven to 350°F. Line 9-inch square pan with foil so foil extends about 2 inches over sides of pan. Spray foil with cooking spray. Make and bake brownies as directed on box. Cool completely, about 1 1/2 hours. 2 Remove brownies from pan by lifting foil; peel foil from sides of brownies. Using 2 1/2-inch star-shaped cookie cutter, cut brownies. Place frosting in resealable food-storage plastic bag; seal bag. Cut off one bottom corner of bag. Pipe frosting on star-shaped brownies. Sprinkle with decors.
Expert Tips Use any cookie cutter in a simple shape to create cut-up brownies.
*******************************
Pork Chops with Peach Barbecue Sauce
The tangy peach barbecue sauce that glazes these pork chops is incredible on grilled chicken or salmon as well. Bone-in pork chops (as opposed to boneless) are less likely to dry out. Just make sure to trim away as much fat as possible for healthier results. 4 servings Active Time: 40 minutes Total Time: 1 1/4 hours (including 30 minutes brining time)
INGREDIENTS 1/4 cup plus 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, divided 1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar 2 cups boiling water 3 cups ice cubes 4 bone-in, center-cut pork chops, 1/2-3/4 inch thick (1 3/4-2 pounds), trimmed 2 ripe but firm peaches, pitted and quartered, or 3 cups frozen sliced peaches 1 medium tomato, quartered and seeded 2 tablespoons cider vinegar 1 tablespoon canola oil 1/2 cup chopped onion, preferably Vidalia 2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh ginger 2 tablespoons honey 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, plus more to taste
PREPARATION Place 1/4 cup salt and brown sugar in a medium heatproof bowl. Pour in boiling water and stir to dissolve. Add ice cubes and stir to cool. Add pork chops, cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes or up to 4 hours. Puree peaches, tomato and vinegar in a food processor until smooth. About 30 minutes before you’re ready to cook the pork chops, heat oil in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown, 5 to 7 minutes. Add ginger and cook, stirring frequently, until fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes. Add the peach puree, the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt, honey and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce the heat to a simmer. Cook until reduced by about half, 20 to 25 minutes. Reserve 1/4 cup of the sauce for basting the chops; keep the remaining sauce warm in the saucepan until ready to serve. Preheat grill to medium. Remove the pork chops from the brine (discard brine), rinse well, and thoroughly dry with paper towels. Season the chops with 1/4 teaspoon pepper and brush both sides with some of the reserved sauce. Grill the pork chops, turning once, until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the center registers 145°F, 2 to 4 minutes per side. Transfer to a plate, tent with foil and let rest for 5 minutes. Serve with the warm peach barbecue sauce on the side.
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Brine the pork chops (Step 1) for up to 4 hours. Refrigerate the peach barbecue sauce (Step 3) for up to 5 days.
NUTRITION Per serving: 291 calories; 11 g fat ( 2 g sat , 5 g mono ); 83 mg cholesterol; 21 g carbohydrates; 27 g protein; 2 g fiber; 715 mg sodium; 584 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Potassium & Vitamin C (17% daily value). Carbohydrate Servings: 1 1/2 Exchanges: 1 1/2 carbohydrates, 4 lean meat, 1 fat *******************************
Top Ten Winners of International Pun Contest
The ability to make and understand puns is considered to be the highest level of language development. Here are the 10 winners in the International Pun Contest:
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger." 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!" 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of
Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." 8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" the friars to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, dude, this is so bad, it's good ...) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
Reminders from God: "So seek to live knowing no other desire but to show My Love to your world." -- GOD Revelation 1:9-10 (9) I, John, both your brother and companion in the tribulation and kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was on the island that is called Patmos for the word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ. (10) I was in the Spirit on the Lord"s Day, and I heard behind me a loud voice, as of a trumpet, John informs us that he "was on the island that is called Patmos" (Revelation 1:9), a small, rocky Aegean island just west of due south from Ephesus, employed as a prison or place of exile by the Roman emperors. Most prisoners were required to work the quarries and mines on the island, but John's advanced age may have allowed him to avoid such backbreaking labor. He writes that he was exiled there "for [because of] the word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ," an indication that his preaching had come to the attention of the Roman authorities, and judgment had gone against him. It is likely that John had spoken against the emperor cult (the worship of the current Roman emperor as a god, a practice that reached its height under Domitian, AD 81-96), and his exile rather than execution can only be attributed to Jesus' prophecy of John not facing martyrdom (John 21:22). The apostle perhaps remained on Patmos for less than two years, as such exiles were routinely released upon the death of the emperor who had exiled them. Some Protestants and Catholics contend that John saw these visions on a Sunday because John writes that he "was in the Spirit on the Lord's Day" (Revelation 1:10). This is merely an unfortunate misunderstanding due to the prevalence of unscriptural Sunday worship throughout Christendom. In Greek, this phrase reads en teé Kuriakeé heeméra, literally "on the belonging-to-the-Lord day." Although it is different in construction to other instances of "the day of the Lord" in the New Testament, the meaning is the same. John is speaking not of the first day of the week, but of the time of God's judgment known throughout the Old Testament as "the day of the LORD." (Sunday, the first day of the week, was never known in the true church as "the Lord's Day," for Jesus Himself says He is "Lord of the Sabbath" (Mark 2:28), which is the seventh day.) The apostle is giving the reader vital information about the time setting of his vision and thus the true application of the book of Revelation. Through the agency of God's Spirit, John received a vision of end-time events and related material that reveal to the church a unique understanding of the day of the Lord. Though couched in late first-century terms and allusions, Revelation is first and predominantly about the time of the end, when God through Christ will intervene in world affairs and establish His Kingdom on the earth. Most of its prophecies are only now beginning to be fulfilled or are still awaiting fulfillment in years just ahead. In a sense, the book of Revelation is as current as today's newspaper—even better, because we have it in advance!
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Word for the Day:
haw HAW , verb; 1.To utter a sound representing a hesitation or pause in speech. 2.To turn or make a turn to the left.
noun: 1.A sound or pause of hesitation. 2.The fruit of the Old World hawthorn, Crataegus laevigata, or of other species of the same genus.
interjection: 1.Used as a word of command to a horse or other draft animal, usually directing it to turn to the left.)
Quotes: I find that I cannot make poor Mr. Gresham hem and haw -- Anthony Trollope, Doctor Thorne: Volume 3 If you ask Frank Lockyear about his philosophy regarding trees, he will haw and dig about searching for the words. -- Robert Gray, "He plants trees everywhere," Scouting, 1985.
Origin: Haw has many senses, but the origin of this sense is uncertain, possibly imitative of the sound.
************************* Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Berthold Auerbach ************************* You might be a REDNECK if... ...your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. ************************* How to Photograph a Tombstone
Headstones are monuments to our ancestors and a link to both family ties and our history. Many people have an interest in taking photographs of tombstones and a good quality photograph is desirable when you're researching ancestry information or documenting headstones and grave markers. Hopefully, you will find these tips helpful.
Steps 1 Be thoughtful when visiting a cemetery. Be thoughtful when visiting a cemetery. Before you even set forth on your gravestone photography expedition, spare a thought for cemetery etiquette and do the right thing so that others may enjoy this experience too. Park your car in an appropriate place. It is better to walk a distance than to park in a poorly chosen space. Do not wander around with your equipment if there is a committal or graveside service in progress. If you move any flowers or remembrance items to get your photograph, remember to replace them before leaving.
2 Use quality photography equipment. Use quality photography equipment. A good digital camera that has auto-focus, flash, adjustable light settings, and zoom. Optical zoom is best because it allows you to get the most details in an image but it will cost more for such a camera and it is a battery depleting element.[1] The Association for Gravestone Studies recommends a 35mm SLR fitted with a 50-55mm lens or a wide angle 35mm lens for crowded graveyard sites.[2] Have enough memory or take along extra cards if you think you might run out. Prefer a camera with an LCD monitor. This will allow you to check before going home that you have got all of the information you want captured taken clearly. If you can't read the inscription or it's out of focus, you'll know straight away.
3 Plan for the best lighting. Plan for the best lighting. This is the most important step as the fine details of the headstone are what you're keen to capture. Front light. The morning light may be recommended if the headstone is facing east. This is often the case, but not always. West facing gravestones (such as in New England) are best photographed at midday and north facing stones are best photographed in later afternoon light.[3] It is more difficult to get a good shot if the stone is backlit. Angle of sunlight. Direct lighting may not produce a good result as it can wash out the inscription. Noonday lighting can supply contrast of bright light on the stone surface and darker shadows inside the engraving. An angle of the sun of 30 degree at midday is considered to be the best for lighting.[4] Use shadows to your advantage on worn stones that are difficult to read. Reflecting light. Some photographers have portable reflectors for this purpose. You can redirect sunlight by the simple placement of a piece of white board. You can buy an inexpensive folding "science fair display" of corrugated cardboard. Lean it against your tripod or a nearby stone so that it directs the light where you want it. Aluminum foil may also work, but may result in unwanted distortions and glares. Of course, keep your reflector out of the camera field.
4 Don't enhance the inscription with anything other than pure clean water. Don't enhance the inscription with anything other than pure clean water. Many gravestone surfaces are porous and fragile, such as granite, marble, sandstone, slate, etc.; part of their charm is also part of their fragility, so be extremely careful when attempting to clean or brighten them up. It's fine to spritz a little water onto the inscription to bring out the inscription more clearly or to clean it. Wipe off the surface of the stone with cotton cloth, natural sponge, or a kitchen towel and leave the engraving damp. Allow the surface to dry a bit, and the damp engraving will appear slightly darker. If you have a very soft brush, you might consider using it on non-flaking gravestone surfaces to remove dust build-up or soil. Do not use shaving cream. It will leave a residue of stearic acid that may stain or actually damage the stone (especially if it's granite or marble).[5] This is considered vandalism. Do not use chalk or charcoal directly on the stone. A memorial marker is not an appropriate place for graffiti; moreover, the pigments used in chalk can stain permanently (as can plaster of Paris). Do not use anything gritty or harsh that could remove any part of the headstone. Be very careful if grave rubbing. First, be aware this can damage old headstones and that it is illegal in some States in the USA and possibly in other places. If it is permissible, do so with great care and avoid doing it on any headstones that appear fragile, very old, and in disrepair. To do a gravestone rubbing, place a very large sheet of clean paper over the face of the stone. Then, using the side of the chalk, very gently create a rubbing that leaves an image of the marker on the paper. Always supervise children who do this and ensure that they are very careful with pressing and standing around the grave site.
5 Be redundant. Be redundant. Digital cameras free you up to take lots of photographs, some of which won't work out as well as others and some of which simply serve as a record rather than a photo of any beauty. Make use of this ability to take various shots of the headstone from differing angles and distances. Take photographs of the section of the cemetery so that you can document the location of the grave. Take a photograph of the entire cemetery from a distance and of the cemetery sign or entrance to document the name and location of the cemetery.
Tips You can also use a mirror to shine over a gravestone to help the inscription stand out but you will need to carry it around.[6] Use the mirror to cast shadows into the darker parts of the headstone to highlight them. The mirror needs to be taller than the headstone and it's a good idea to practice a lot with this method to find what works best. Two mirrors can also be used to create light over a shadowed headstone and if there is too much light, a mirror can be used to throw light while someone stands in the direct sunlight.[7] If you know how to work with photographic filters, then use them; otherwise, don't over-complicate the experience. You may need to take several shots of some headstones to get all of an inscription. In this case, the panoramic feature of a camera capable of such an operation or phone such as an iPhone can come in handy. If you have an iPhone, carry it with you. Be aware that many gravestones are not straight due to settling. You can either try to account for this while taking the photo (slant the camera) or you can fix it back home with a photo program on your computer. Familiarize yourself with surfaces that don't photograph as well as others. Shiny metallic surfaces will reflect a lot of light and will require more care to avoid getting nothing more than a blur of sunshine, while dull stone surfaces will often need dampening to help bring out the inscription clearly. Check your photos after taking them to see what adjustments need to be made for the headstone surface. Be prepared to wait for the right conditions. If you're on vacation, seize the day with the best weather and postpone other activities to ensure that you get the photographs you're seeking and so that you don't go back empty-handed. Consider placing your photographs online to share with others who may be descendants too.[8] This is also helpful if you're photographing historical figures, including those within your family, such as authors, poets, artists, soldiers, leaders, etc. For more information on transcribing gravestone information for posterity, see the paper by B.W. Hutchison at ftp://ftp.rootsweb.com/pub/roots-l/genealog/genealog.headston. Photograph the statues, too. Sometimes they can tell a lot about who this person was, and how they are remembered by their family.
Warnings Don't use household cleaners on gravestones. Many contain chemicals that have the potential to damage the stones. Don't attempt to power wash or pick off lichen. Doing so can remove the delicate surfaces permanently. If removing weeds and other debris, do so with care. Also, seek permission before tidying up graves that aren't your own family's in origin. There may already be people tending them and they might not appreciate their efforts being moved or changed. Of course, if it's clear that the graveyard hasn't been tended for a long time, your input with a little weed tidying and cherishing will be much appreciated. The more flush an inscription, the harder it can be to photograph if it is too dark or too bright. Don't try removing graffiti yourself; this is best left to professionals.[9] However, do alert those responsible for maintaining the graveyard of what you've seen.
Things You'll Need Camera and associated equipment, lighting props Gloves if you want to keep your hands clean when touching headstones (disposables will work) Sunscreen and bug repellent Hat Snacks and water (optional) Kneeling pad if you are going to be kneeling for shots a lot Notebook and marker, clean paper and pencil for taking rubbings Relevant information about the graveyard, maps, plans, etc. Paper towels, natural sponge, or cotton cloth for wiping headstones, water for spritzing Garden shears for clearing away weeds from headstones ************************* CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. ************************* Brownie Goody Bars
PREP TIME 30 Min TOTAL TIME 3 Hr 15 Min SERVINGS 16
INGREDIENTS
1 box (1 lb 2.4 oz) Betty Crocker Original Supreme Premium brownie mix Water, vegetable oil and egg called for on brownie mix box 1 cup Betty Crocker Rich & Creamy vanilla frosting (from 16 oz container) 1/2 cup salted peanuts, coarsely chopped 2 cups crisp rice cereal 2/3 cup creamy peanut butter 1 1/3 cups (8 oz) semisweet chocolate chips
1 Heat oven to 350°F (325°F for dark or nonstick pan). Grease bottom only of 9-inch square pan with cooking spray or shortening. (For easier cutting, line pan with foil, then grease foil on bottom only of pan.) 2 Make and bake brownies as directed on box. Cool completely. 3 Frost brownies with frosting. Sprinkle with peanuts; refrigerate while making cereal mixture. 4 Measure cereal into medium bowl; set aside. In 1-quart saucepan, melt peanut butter and chocolate chips over low heat, stirring constantly. Pour over cereal in bowl, stirring until evenly coated. Spread over frosted brownies. Refrigerate 1 hour or until set before cutting. For bars, cut into 4 rows by 4 rows. Store tightly covered at room temperature or in refrigerator.
************************* Grilled Peach- and Mustard-Glazed Pork Tenderloin
PREP TIME 40 Min TOTAL TIME 1 Hr 40 Min SERVINGS 6
INGREDIENTS
Marinade 1/2 cup peach preserves 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 2 teaspoons olive or vegetable oil 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme leaves 1/4 teaspoon salt Pork 2 pork tenderloins (about 3/4 lb each)
1 In shallow glass or plastic dish or resealable freezer plastic bag, mix marinade ingredients. Add pork; turn to coat. Cover dish or seal bag; refrigerate, turning pork occasionally, at least 1 hour but no longer than 8 hours. 2 Heat gas or charcoal grill. Remove pork from marinade; reserve marinade. Place pork on grill over medium heat. Cover grill; cook 20 to 25 minutes, brushing occasionally with marinade and turning once, until pork has slight blush of pink in center and meat thermometer inserted in center reads 160°F. 3 In 1-quart saucepan, heat remaining marinade to boiling; boil and stir 1 minute. Cut pork into slices; serve with marinade.
Expert Tips Apricot preserves can be used instead of the peach preserves. Zippered freezer plastic bags are great for mess-free marinating. Place the meat in the bag, fold over the top and squeeze out all the air, allowing the marinade to completely coat the food. When it's time to grill, take the bag outside and transfer the marinated meat to the grill.
************************* Grilled Spicy Garlic Shrimp, Pepper and Pineapple Kabobs
PREP TIME 25 Min TOTAL TIME 40 Min SERVINGS 4 INGREDIENTS
Pineapple-Lime Marinade 2 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil 1 teaspoon grated lime peel 2 tablespoons lime juice 2 tablespoons reserved pineapple juice from can of pineapple 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon red pepper sauce 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped Kabobs 3/4 lb uncooked deveined peeled large shrimp, thawed if frozen 1 can (8 oz) pineapple chunks in juice, drained, 2 tablespoons juice reserved for marinade 1 orange bell pepper, cut into 12 pieces 4 medium green onions, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
1 In shallow glass or plastic dish or resealable food-storage plastic bag, mix marinade ingredients. Add shrimp, pineapple, bell pepper and onions; stir to coat. Cover dish or seal bag; refrigerate 15 to 30 minutes, turning once or twice. 2 Heat gas or charcoal grill. Carefully brush vegetable oil on grill rack. On each of 4 (12- to 14-inch) metal skewers, thread shrimp, pineapple, bell pepper and onions alternately, leaving small space between each piece. Reserve marinade. 3 Place kabobs on grill over medium heat. Cover grill; cook 5 to 7 minutes, turning and brushing with marinade once, until shrimp are pink and vegetables are tender. Discard any remaining marinade.
Expert Tips Marinating for a little longer will intensify the flavor slightly, but don't leave it for more than 2 hours. The marinade will start to break down the tissues in the shrimp, and the bell pepper will not be as pretty. This marinade is also delicious on chicken breasts. Marinate as directed, then grill until the juice of the chicken is clear when center of thickest part is cut (170°F). ************************* Grilled Pineapple-Chicken Kabob Packs
PREP TIME 20 Min TOTAL TIME 40 Min SERVINGS 4
INGREDIENTS
1/3 cup pineapple preserves 2 tablespoons packed brown sugar 1 tablespoon soy sauce 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 2-inch cubes (1 lb) 1 medium red bell pepper, cut into 1 1/2-inch cubes 1 medium green bell pepper, cut into 1 1/2-inch cubes 1 cup pineapple chunks 1/4 teaspoon salt
1 Heat gas or charcoal grill. In small bowl, stir together pineapple preserves, brown sugar, soy sauce and crushed red pepper. 2 Cut 4 (24x12-inch) sheets of heavy-duty foil. Divide chicken, bell peppers, pineapple chunks and pineapple preserves mixture among foil sheets. Sprinkle with salt. Bring up 2 sides of foil so edges meet. Seal edges, making tight 1/2-inch fold; fold again, allowing space for heat circulation and expansion. Fold other sides to seal. 3 Place packets on grill over medium heat. Cover grill; cook 6 minutes. Using tongs, carefully turn packets over, taking care not to puncture foil. Cook 10 to 12 minutes longer or until chicken is no longer pink in center and vegetables are crisp-tender.
Expert Tips This new twist takes the work out of kabobs. Instead of skewering the vegetables and meat and brushing with the glaze, they are combined in a simple packet and grilled. Substitute your favorite preserves for the pineapple variety in this recipe. ************************* Grilled Jerk Chicken Kabobs
Make a meal on a stick with just five ingredients!
PREP TIME 25 Min TOTAL TIME 1 Hr 25 Min SERVINGS 6
INGREDIENTS 6 boneless skinless chicken thighs (about 1 1/4 lb), cut into 1-inch cubes 1/3 cup jerk seasoning sauce 1 cup canned or fresh pineapple chunks 2 medium red bell peppers, each cut into 12 wedges 1/2 medium onion, cut into 12 wedges, separated into chunks
1 In shallow glass or plastic dish or resealable food-storage plastic bag, mix chicken and 1/4 cup of the jerk sauce. Cover dish or seal bag; refrigerate 1 hour to marinate, stirring occasionally. 2 Heat gas or charcoal grill. Drain chicken; discard marinade. On each of 6 (15-inch) metal skewers, thread chicken, pineapple, bell peppers and onion alternately, leaving space between each piece. Brush vegetables with remaining jerk sauce. 3 Place kabobs on grill over medium heat. Cover grill; cook about 15 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink in center and vegetables are tender.
Expert Tips Leave about a 1/4-inch space between the pieces on the skewers to allow for even cooking. For an easy and delicious summer supper, serve grilled kabobs with hot buttered basmati rice. ************************* Aah, the Golden Years! A POEM FOR MY GETTING OLDER FRIENDS A row of bottles on my shelf Caused me to analyze myself. One yellow pill I have to pop Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
A little white one that I take Goes to my hands so they won't shake. The blue ones that I use a lot Make me happy when I'm not.
The purple pill goes to my brain And tells me that I have no pain. The capsules tell me not to wheeze Or cough or choke or even sneeze..
The red ones, smallest of them all Go to my blood so I won't fall. The orange ones, very big and bright Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
Such an array of brilliant pills Helping to cure all kinds of ills. But what I'd really like to know Is who tells each one where to go! ************************* THE RECESSION HITS EVERYBODY
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. Wives are sleeping with their husbands because they can't afford batteries. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America . Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her! A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. A picture is now only worth 200 words. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear! And, finally... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck. ************************* Gynocolgical Appointment A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years. There's nothing you can't tell me." "This one's kind of strange," the woman said. "Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied. "Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet. When I looked down, the water was full of pennies." "I see," commented the doctor calmly. "That afternoon, I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl," the woman continued. "That night," she went on, "I went again, and plink-plink-plink, there were dimes. This morning, there were quarters!" "You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!" she implored. "I'm scared out of my wits!" The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's nothing to be scared about," he said. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Ready for this?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (I'm warning you.....) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Still not too late.....delete now!) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You're simply going through the change!"
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
"Rejoice at your weakness. When you are weak I am strong. Strong to help, to cure, to protect." - GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
Under Construction
Philippians 1:6, NIV: "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Take a good look in the mirror. What do you see? Does what you see make you happy? Sad? Do you look at yourself and think about who you are, what you are, or what you have accomplished? Do you see yourself clearly? That's the question now, isn't it? Sometimes it would seem that the mirror holds a better image of who we are than that which we hold of ourselves. Many things often distort our opinions of ourselves. But take comfort. God's not through with you yet. You are truly a work in progress. The scripture tells us not to be anxious for anything. Our personal growth is no different. Just like with everything else, you have to place yourself in the caring and capable hands of God. He began a good work in you--and He will be faithful to complete it.
Zechariah 14:9 “The LORD will be king over the whole earth. On that day there will be one LORD, and his name the only name.â€
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WORD FOR THE DAY:
extenuate • ik-STEN-yuh-wayt • verb 1 : to lessen or to try to lessen the seriousness or extent of by making partial excuses : mitigate 2 : to lessen the strength or effect of
Examples: Don't even try to extenuate their vandalism of the cemetery with the old refrain of "Boys will be boys."
"At my university (as at others I've known), circumstances may extenuate plagiarism, but they never excuse it." -- From an article by Clifford Orwin in The Globe and Mail (Canada), June 15, 2011
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When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil. –Jack Handey
THINGS TO PONDER: How do they get the cream in the Twinkie?
CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: If a man takes no thought about what is distant, he will find sorrow near at hand.
You might be a REDNECK if... ...your primary source of income is the pawn shop
"Everyone who got to where they are had to begin where they were." - Richard Paul Evans
Jim Bishop "Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun."
Jackie Mason "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
Woody Allen "I failed to make the chess team because of my height."
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DOG TIPS:
12 General Rules for Training Dogs 1. Training should be an enjoyable experience for you and your dog. If you are not in the right mood for training, don't even start. Keep training sessions short, on the order of 5-10 minutes, to maintain your dog's motivation. If your dog doesn't respond appropriately to a command after several attempts, don't reward him. Resume training a few seconds later using a simpler command. Return to the more complex task later.
Always end training on a positive note. Ask your dog to respond to a command you know he will obey. Then reward him for a job well done and issue a finish command such as "free" or "release." Avoid common words such as "okay." Following a training session, both owner and dog should be left with a feeling of accomplishment.
2. Every dog should be familiar with the basic obedience commands, including come, heel, sit, down and stay. Teaching your dog to sit-stay and down-stay off leash is also a valuable lesson. Additional commands that are useful include: leave it, give it, stop it, and enough or cease. Keep in mind that a dog's motivation to respond to a command decreases as the complexity of the task increases. The odds of success, hinge not only on the degree of sophistication of the task but also your dog's motivation to respond. From a dog's perspective the question is, which is more rewarding, chasing the squirrel or returning to the owner? Understanding this aspect will increase your patience and chances for success.
3. Training should not involve any negative or punishment-based components. There should be no yelling, no hitting, no chain jerking, no hanging, and absolutely no electric shock. Each session should be upbeat and positive with rewards for jobs well done. Remember that the opposite of reward is not punishment; it is no reward. If you ignore unacceptable responses, your dog will not be rewarded for his failed response. Most dogs want to please their owners or, at the very least, to obtain highly valued resources (food, attention and toys).
4. Ensure that your dog's motivation for reward is highest during a training session. If food is the reward, train before a meal, not after. If praise, petting and other aspects of your attention are to be used as a reward, schedule the training session at a time when your dog hungers for your attention (for example, after you have returned from work). For complex tasks, such as the off leash down-stay, your dog will be more motivated to comply if he has received moderate exercise before the training session. Asking a dog that is bursting with energy to remain in a prolonged reclining position is asking for failure during the early stages of training.
5. Make sure the reward you offer in training is the most powerful one for your dog. Food-motivated dogs work well for food, but the treats used should be favorite foods for the dog, such as small pieces of cheese or freeze-dried liver. You want your dog to be strongly motivated to obey commands to receive the treat. Food treats, if used, should be small – no bigger than the size of your little fingernail. The texture of the treat should be such that it does not require chewing and should not crumble, otherwise you will lose your dog's attention as he Hoovers up the crumbs. Large treats, like Milk Bones®, take too long to eat, causing the dog to lose attention. If praise is used as a reward, deliver it in high singsong tones, which are most pleasing for the dog. Also, enthusiasm in your voice will be much appreciated. If petting is to be used as a reward, it should be in a way that the dog enjoys, such as stroking the dog's hair on the side of his face in the same direction that it grows, or scratching him on the chest. Note: Petting on top of the head is not appreciated by most dogs.
6. Timing of the reward is important. After a correct response, reward your dog within ½ second of the command to ensure that your dog makes the connection between his behavior and the reward.
7. Use short commands such as sit, down, leave it, quiet, out, and off. Say the word once. Do not repeat the command. Dogs will remember a command for about two minutes before the notion is lost. Shorter words are better than longer words and words that end in a hard consonant (C, K, T, X) are better than those that end in a vowel because you can "spit" them out. The only command that should have three sounds associated with it is come. In this case, you first have to attract the dog's attention by saying his name, ROVER, then COME (the actual command word) and GOOD BOY, even before the dog comes so that he knows he is not in trouble. Make sure your tone is crisp and cheerful.
8. Put your dog on a leash and attract his attention so he looks directly at you and you at him ("Watch-me"). Then issue an action word, SIT. A poorly trained dog might slowly get into the sitting position, at which point you reward him IMMEDIATELY with praise, GOOD BOY, ROVER, (remember the high tones and heartfelt deliverance) and at the same time as you immediately produce the reward. An untrained dog will have to be assisted into the sitting position by moving a food treat over and above his head so that he has to sit to reach it. Successful accomplishment of the task is meets with warm praise and the food treat. In some cases, placement techniques (tension on collar, downward pressure on the rump) may have to be used.
9. Once you have a dog performing the desired response greater than 85 percent of the time in a quiet undisturbed environment, you can move onto the next stage; starting to shape the behavior toward the ideal response. You might begin by rewarding a progressively faster SIT, that is, rewarding the dog for sitting in 3 seconds, later in 2 seconds, and ultimately in 1 second, or immediately. Decide before you give the command what you are going to reward. You can also start to reward longer and more definite SITS so the dog has to do more than just touch his rear end on the ground to receive reward. Withhold the food treat until the dog is sitting properly and then gradually introduce a time delay before the reward is given.
10. Gradually increase the length of time the dog must remain in a SIT-STAY until he can remain relaxed in this position for one minute while the owner is at a distance of 5 feet. Continue to increase the time and distance the dog is asked to remain in a SIT-STAY after the dog has been successful at the previous level for 5-10 trials. For very long SITS, the reward should be given intermittently throughout the SIT, at least during training. The owner should teach a key phrase such as EASY or STEADY to teach the dog to associate relaxation with the exercise. It also is helpful to have a release command, such as FREE or RELEASE, which tells the dog when he has been obeying for the desired period of time.
11. Vary the commands during an individual training session – keep the training sessions short and frequent. Dogs will learn much more from regular short sessions than from longer, less frequent ones. Once the dog has learned several useful commands on the continuous reward schedule, that is, the dog is rewarded for each successful performance of the behavior, the schedule should be changed to one of intermittent reward. Initially, the dog may be rewarded two times out of three, then every other third time, and so on until rewards are only supplied occasionally. This is the way to wean a dog off food treats and is the cure for a dog that "will only work for food." Remember, however, it is always important to praise your dog immediately if he has performed a command properly, whether or not any other reward will be forthcoming.
12. Once training has been accomplished in a quiet area, you can gradually begin to work in environments with more distractions, continuing the training in the yard, on leash, progressively lengthening the leash between you and the dog and finally dropping it, so the dog is now obeying without you at the other end of the lead. It may be helpful to continue this training in relatively busy environments, so that you can maintain control even in distracting situations. The Holy Grail of training is to have the dog reliably obeying commands off lead, even when other things are going on around him. This level of training can be achieved but only after a lot of hard work and investment of time. It's something to strive toward. And remember, regarding training, "Art and science aren't enough; Patience is the basic stuff."
****************************** Mudslide Beverage
Ingredients 2 oz. Chocolate Syrup 5 oz. Coffee Liqueur 5 oz. Irish Cream 5 oz. Vodka
Directions:
Pour ingredients into a blender filled with ice. Blend on high until smooth.
******************************
PORK CHOPS - GARLIC AND ROSEMARY SAUCE 4 pork chops 1 onion, sliced 1 clove garlic 1 tsp. rosemary 4 oz. chicken broth 4 oz. red wine 1 red pepper, sliced 4 tbsp. oil 1 tbsp. flour Salt and pepper
Dust pork chops with flour - saute pork chops in oil until tender. Add all ingredients and cook until done. Serve sauce over pork chops and sprinkle with parsley.
****************************** Banana Split Brownie Pizza
Get all the goodies of a banana split ice cream dessert with the bonus of fudgy brownies.
PREP TIME 25 Min TOTAL TIME 3 Hr 20 Min SERVINGS 12
INGREDIENTS
1 box (1 lb 2.4 oz) Betty Crocker Original Supreme Premium brownie mix Water, vegetable oil and eggs as called for on brownie mix box 1 quart (4 cups) favorite flavor ice cream, slightly softened 1 cup sliced fresh strawberries 2 medium bananas, sliced (1 1/2 cups) 1/2 cup chopped fresh pineapple 1/2 cup chopped pecans 1/4 cup Hershey's hot fudge topping
1 Heat oven to 350° F (325° F for dark or nonstick pan). Spray or grease 12-inch pizza pan. Make brownies as directed. Spread in pan. 2 Bake 20 to 26 minutes or until toothpick inserted 2 inches from center comes out almost clean. Cool completely. 3 Spread slightly softened ice cream evenly over brownies. Freeze at least 1 hour or until ice cream is firm. Just before serving, top with strawberries and bananas; sprinkle with pineapple and pecans. Drizzle with hot fudge topping. Serve wiith whipped cream, if desired.
Expert Tips Brush the banana slices with lemon juice to keep bananas from turning brown. ****************************** Easy Freezer Sweet Pickles Recipe
INGREDIENTS: 2 quarts cucumbers, thinly sliced 2 onions, sliced 2 tablespoons salt 1 cup white vinegar 3/4 cup sugar
PREPARATION: Mix Cucumbers and Onions together and sprinkle with salt; mix well and let stand 2-3 hours. Rinse and drain well.
Mix Vinegar and Sugar until sugar is dissolved. Put cucumbers and onions in freezer containers or freezer bags; pour vinegar and sugar mixture over cukes and onions.
Freeze 3 weeks before eating, the longer you let them sit the sweeter the pickles. Thaw in refrigerator or in cold water.
****************************** Jasmine Rice with Coconut Sauce
Go coconuts for this jasmine rice. When you want to add a little soul to your starch, simply season it with a can of coconut milk. The results are a sweet experience.
Ingredients
1 (14 oz.) can coconut milk 1 1/4 cup water 1 tsp. sugar 1 pinch salt 1 1/2 cup uncooked jasmine rice
Methods/steps In a saucepan, combine coconut milk, water, sugar, and salt. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Stir in rice. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 18-20 minutes, until rice is tender. Garnish with toasted coconut and chopped cilantro if you like.
****************************** Greek Tuna Salad Pita Sandwiches with Feta Cheese
Stress free dinner ready in 20 minutes. Hearty tuna sandwich perfect for Mediterranean cuisine.
PREP TIME 20 Min TOTAL TIME 20 Min SERVINGS 6
INGREDIENTS
1 tablespoon lemon juice 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 clove garlic, finely chopped 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 medium cucumber, peeled, seeded and finely chopped 1 ripe medium tomato, seeded, diced 1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese (2 oz) 12 kalamata or other large ripe olives, pitted, coarsely chopped (1/4 cup) 2 cans (5 oz each) tuna in water, drained, flaked 12 leaves romaine lettuce, torn in half 6 pita (pocket) breads (6 inch), cut in half to form pockets
1 In small bowl, stir together lemon juice, oil, garlic and salt with whisk. In medium bowl, toss cucumber, tomato, cheese, olives and tuna. Pour dressing over salad; toss until coated. 2 Place 1 lettuce leaf half in each pita pocket; top each leaf with 1/2 cup tuna salad. Serve immediately.
Expert Tips We like to use English or hot house cucumbers because they have far fewer seeds than the regular cucumbers.
Pitted kalamata olives can be found in jars in the olive section of your grocery stores, as well as in the deli section. They have a sharper, richer flavor than regular canned ripe olives.
****************************** Easy Freezer Pickles
Prep Time: 15 Min Ready In: 15 Min Servings (Help) Yield 48 servings
Ingredients
8 pounds cucumbers, thinly sliced 1 cup thinly sliced onion 3 tablespoons salt 4 cups sugar 2 cups vinegar 1 teaspoon celery seed 1 teaspoon ground turmeric 1 teaspoon mustard seed 1/2 teaspoon alum
Directions
In a large container, combine cucumbers, onion and salt; mix well. Let stand for 3 hours, stirring occasionally. Drain and rinse. In a bowl, combine remaining ingredients; let stand for 2-3 hours, stirring often. Pour over the cucumber mixture and stir well. Pack into 1-pt. freezer containers, leaving 1-in. headspace. Cover and freeze up to 6 weeks. Thaw before serving.
****************************** Olive Garden Oven-Roasted Potatoes
Makes: 4
INGREDIENTS: 2 medium baking potatoes 4 tablespoons olive oil 1 medium green pepper 1 medium red pepper 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons fresh rosemary, chopped 1 teaspoon fresh garlic, minced 4 teaspoons fresh parsley, chopped 1/2 cup Romano cheese, grated
PREPARATION: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Peel potatoes and dice into 1/2-inch pieces. Core and seed peppers and dice into 1/2-inch pieces. Set aside. Mix olive oil, rosemary, salt and pepper in a bowl. In a small baking pan, toss potatoes and peppers with the oil and herb mixture. Bake for 10 minutes or until potatoes are fork tender. Sprinkle potatoes with parsley and Romano cheese.
******************************
CHAIRMAN OF THE COMMITTEE—"Is this the place where you are happy all the time?"
ST. PETER (proudly)—"It is, sir."
"Well, I represent the union, and if we come in we can only agree to be happy eight hours a day."
******************************
Ole is the Pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road. One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said:
DA END ISS NEAR! TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW BAFOR IT ISS TOO LATE!
As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, "Leave People alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!" From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. Shakin' his head, Rev. Ole says "Dat's DA terd one dis mornin'."
"Yaa," Pastor Sven agrees, then asks, "Do ya tink maybe DA sign should yust say, 'Bridge Out?'"
******************************
True Hocky Fan
A man had two of the best tickets for the Stanley Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him..
"No", he says, "the seat is empty." "This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup Final, the biggest sporting event of the year, and not use it?"
He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbour to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head... "No. They're all at the funeral."
******************************
This is a real groaner lol
New High School Exit Exam (Passing requires only 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?______________
2) Which country makes Panama hats? _________________
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?____________________
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?_______
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?____________
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?_______
7) What was King George VI's first name? ___________________
8) What color is a purple finch? ____________________
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? _____________________
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?_________ **********************************************************
Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below:
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)
What do you mean, you failed? Me, too! (and if you try to tell me you passed, you LIED) Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they may feel useless too!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
Reminders from God:
Isaiah 40:31
“but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.â€
If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth but didn't love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal. I Corinthians 13:1
**************************
WORD FOR THE DAY: mantic • MAN-tik • adjective : of or relating to the faculty of divination : prophetic Examples: Ever since we visited that fortune teller at the carnival, Mary has shown a strong interest in astrology and the other mantic arts. "Like everyone else, I was in awe of her mantic abilities, and I think she looked upon my storytelling endeavors with indulgence, having known both my father and my grandfather in their prime." -- From Joydeep Roy-Bhattacharya's 2011 novel
The Storyteller of Marrakesh Did you know? The adjective "mantic" comes from the Greek word "mantikos," which itself derives from "mantis," meaning "prophet." The mantis insect got its name from this same source, supposedly because its posture -- with the forelimbs extended as though in prayer --reminded folks of a prophet.
***************************
FIBROMYALGIA TIP:
Improving Your Sense of Well-Being
Through trial and error, working in tandem with your physician, the development of your management plan should be a "Work in progress". Each step you take, each new therapy you try is progress in itself. Keep pushing, remain focused and determined that through your efforts, guidance and counseling from your physician, love and support from family and friends that you have taken control of your condition and your life. Don't go backwards. Keep abreast of the latest research. Join local and national organizations. The internet is a wonderful resource to search for information, receive organizational newsletters and to join forums and chat groups. Bring new information and ideas to your physician appointments. As you implement your treatment plan, keep the following in mind: Ongoing medical support is key to staying on track. Consider a routine schedule to visit your physician. Bring new information and ideas to your physician appointments. Physician telephonic support is available between your Center visits. Do not lose hope and do not lose sight of your goals. Remember the primary purpose of taking control is to improve YOUR sense of well-being!
********************************** I’VE LEARNED...... Amateurs work until they get it right. Professionals work until they can't get it wrong. -Unknown *************************** BASIC AVIATION TRUISMS 'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.' -Basic Flight Training Manual- ****************************************** INTERESTING FACTS ON THE PLANET PITCAIRN ISLAND The smallest island with country status is Pitcairn in Polynesia, at just 1 75 sq. Miles/4,53 sq. Km. *************************************** SHALLOW THOUGHTS FOR TODAY * Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it. * I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys The speed limit. * I think the freezer deserves a light as well. * I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night More kisses begin with liquor than with "Kay". ***************************** SOME INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT BIRDS: The now-extinct elephant bird of Madagascar laid an egg that weighed 27 pounds. Precocial birds like chickens, ostriches, ducks, and seagulls hatch ready to move around. They come from eggs with bigger yolks than altricial birds like owls, woodpeckers, and most small songbirds that need a lot of care from parents in order to survive. Air sacs may make up 1/5 of the body volume of a bird. A bird's normal body temperature is usually 7-8 degrees hotter than a human s. Up to three-quarters of the air a bird breathes is used just for cooling down since they are unable to sweat. *************************************** TRUTHS FOR MATURE HUMANS 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? ********************************************************** THOUGHT FOR THE DAY……….. Take time to contemplate the vast peace of God; it is so deep and full that we cannot comprehend it.—Norman Vincent Peale *************************** PET TIP
I don't know if this has happened to you or not, but it happens to me all the time.
You have a special dinner or appointment, and you're running late. You finally get there, but when you get out of your car and look down, you notice that you are covered in pet hair! And it never fails ... if I wear black, I am covered in light hairs; if I wear something light, my clothes are covered in dark hairs.
Whether you're going to a dinner, a meeting, a party or a date, if you're a pet owner you've been in this same situation at one time or another.
Shedding is the natural process by which old hair falls out and new hair begins to grow in its place. Shedding is a difficult problem for pet owners. But if you happen to read or hear something about some dog breeds that don't shed, you can discount it. Every dog sheds. Some dogs shed more than others - but they all shed.
So why then do some dogs APPEAR not to shed while others shed so much you could weave a thick blanket out of the discarded fur? The answer lies in the growth rate of the animal's hair, which is based on genetics, nutrition and environment.
What can you do to stop shedding? -Unfortunately, the answer is, "nothing". But you CAN do some things to help control it.
Here are 6 tips that work for me:
1. Brush. Our house pets need brushing to prevent large amounts of hair from accumulating in the coat. It not only decreases the amount of hair on your clothes and furniture, it also stimulates the blood supply to your dog's skin. Once old hair has been removed, a new hair can form. Brushing should be done on a regular basis. About 10 minutes a day should do the trick.
2. Vacuum . Vacuum your house and car. Use a good quality vacuum that sucks up pet hair. If you have pets - especially multiple dogs - daily vacuuming is ideal. This includes furniture where pets frequently sleep or rest.
3. Wash. Weekly washing of bedding can help get rid of pet hair. Wash your dog's bedding as well as yours, if he sleeps on your bed. Do this at least once a week or more.
4. Keep your closet door closed. Don't allow your pets into the area where you keep your clothes. This won't prevent hair from getting on your clothes but it will help.
5. Use a tape roller. Tape rollers are a great way to pick up hair on your clothes. Keep one by the door and one in your glove box. This is great for getting hair off your clothes at the last minute.
6. Bathe. Bathing your dog helps get rid of loose dead hair, while it stimulates circulation to the skin and helps your dog smell great. We found a great dog-washing tool called Rapid Bath that lets you easily wash your dog in 5 minutes or less. This power washing system really helps get rid of dead hair to reduce shedding in your house and on your clothes.
How Often to Bathe a Dog That all depends on your pet. Factors include: his hair coat, hair length, how often he gets dirty, where he lives (if he is indoor or outdoors most of the time), shedding cycle, and any underlying skin problem (please see our related article, "Top Medical Reasons for Grooming Your Dog"). Some dogs need baths only a couple times year while others need weekly grooming. It is beneficial to brush your dog about twice a week. Bathing your dog every month or two isn't unreasonable, but some dogs will need more frequent cleanings. A good rule of thumb is to bathe your pet only when his coat gets dirty or begins to smell "doggy."
*************************** WEINER SCHNITZEL
1 lb. veal cutlets (from leg) 1 c. flour 3 eggs, beaten with 2 tbsp. water 1 1/4 c. crushed cornflakes 1 1/4 c. flavored bread crumbs 1 1/2 c. olive oil 1 lemon, cut into wedges
Place veal on cutting board, cover with plastic wrap, and pound thin (one at a time). Dredge veal in flour, dip in egg mixture and dredge in cornflakes mixed with bread crumbs. Heat oil in large skillet until very hot but not smoking. Fry veal on both sides until golden brown. Drain on paper towels and serve hot, garnished with lemon wedges. Serves 4-6.
*************************** BEER CRACKER CHICKEN POT PIE
Shell: 2 cups finely crushed Club or Town House crackers 4 tablespoons melted butter
Crust: 2 cups flour 3/4 cup Crisco 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 cup boiling water 1 teaspoon parsley flakes
Filling: 1-2 lbs chicken sliced 1" cubes 1 bag frozen mixed vegetables 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 bottle beer or 12 oz white wine 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning 1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder 1 teaspoon basil 1 teaspoon Lipton Onion Soup mix 1 can condensed Cream of Potato soup 2/3 cup milk 1 tsp salt (optional)
Crust: In a 4x9 dish, pour the melted butter into the casserole dish, sprinkle the cracker crumbs over the butter and mix well to saturate the crackers. Press down cracker mix to cover the bottom evenly. Place covered into fridge while preparing the chicken.
Chicken: Add the olive oil to a frying pan with the poultry seasoning, garlic powder, basil, onion soup mix and stir until well saturated with oil. Add chicken and brown lightly. Add the beer, cream of potato soup and milk when chicken looks "golden brown". Add the frozen vegetables and turn down the heat to reduce the liquids for approximately 20 min. Remove from heat when liquids appear thickened. Allow to cool to warm to the touch.
Crust: Add dry ingredients to hot water and milk. Cut Crisco into flour and milk mixture with knife or fork. Form into ball (minimize touching with hands). Divide ball in half. Roll out dough between sheets of wax paper or plastic wrap to 1/8" thin.
Baking: Remove the casserole dish from the fridge and add the chicken filling. Peel the plastic wrap off of one side of the crust, fold dough over the dish and remove the other sheet of plastic wrap. Pinch sides of dough into the inside edge of the dish with fingers. Use a knife to poke several vent holes in crust. Bake at 425°F for 20-25 minutes until crust in golden brown over a cookie sheet.
Serves 4-6 people. *************************** LEMON BARS DELUXE
2 c. flour 1/2 c. powdered sugar 1 packet True Lemon, divided (optional) 1 c. butter 4 eggs, well beaten 2 c. sugar 1/3 c. freshly squeezed lemon juice 2-3 drops pure lemon oil (optional) 1/2 tsp. baking powder 1/4 c. flour
Grated rind of 1 lemon (optional) Mix first 3 ingredients using half of the True Lemon packet (optional). Using a pastry blender or two knives, cut in butter as you would when making pie crust until it resembles coarse crumbs. Press crumb mixture into a 9 x 13 inch pan. Bake in a preheated 350°F oven for 15-20 minutes.
Combine the remaining ingredients (and the other half of the True Lemon packet) to make the lemon filling.
Pour over crust and bake for 25 minutes at 350°F or until lightly golden on top. Sprinkle with powdered sugar when cool.
Cut into bars. *************************** Amish Sugar Cookies
"This cookie is a very soft sugar cookie that is made with a batter rather than a dough, but is really good."
Prep Time: 15 Min Cook Time: 10 Min Ready In: 25 Min Servings: 72 Ingredients 1 1/2 cups vegetable oil 1 1/2 cups white sugar 2 eggs 4 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 cup buttermilk 3/4 teaspoon salt 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Mix together vegetable oil (yes, 1 1/2 cups of vegetable oil), sugar and eggs. Mix in the flour, baking soda, baking powder, buttermilk, salt and vanilla. Pour teaspoon-sized amounts of batter onto cookie sheets, leaving plenty of room in between. These cookies will puff up and get large. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes. Nutritional Information
Amount Per Serving Calories: 85 | Total Fat: 4.8g | Cholesterol: 6mg
*************************** OLD FASHIONED SODA
1 tbsp. chocolate ice cream or heavy cream 2 tbsp. chocolate syrup club soda or soda water, chilled 2 scoops chocolate ice cream whipped cream grated chocolate or chocolate curls
In a tall old fashioned soda glass, pour a tablespoon of ice cream or whipped heavy cream. Add the chocolate syrup. Fill the remainder of the glass 3/4 full with cold club soda or soda water Add two large scoops of ice cream.
If needed, more soda may be added.
Add a scoop of whipped cream (chocolate whipped cream is great for this!). Sprinkle with grated chocolate or chocolate curls.
Insert two straws and serve!
Vanilla Soda Variation: Use Moxie, Coca-Cola or Root Beer instead of soda water; use vanilla ice cream instead of chocolate.
*************************** ORANGE BUTTERMILK COOKIES
3/4 c. shortening/butter 1/4 c. butter 1 1/2 c. light brown sugar 2 eggs, well beaten 1 tsp. vanilla 1 c. buttermilk 3 1/2 c. flour 1/4 tsp. salt 2 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. soda 1/4 c. fresh orange juice and grated orange peel 1 c. chopped dates 1/2 c. chopped nuts
Cream the shortenings and sugar well. Add the beaten eggs and mix thoroughly. Then add orange juice, rind, and flavoring and buttermilk. Sift dry ingredients and gradually add to mixture. Add dates and nuts. Drop by teaspoon on lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake 8-10 minutes at 350 degrees. When cool, frost with confectioners' sugar, butter, orange juice, and drop of orange extract.
*************************** Monkey Muffins Recipe
These bite-sized mini muffins will be a favorite with your family and friends—or anyone who loves bananas, peanut butter and chocolate! A nice way to use up overripe bananas. Amie Longstaff - Painesville Township, Ohio 36 Servings Prep: 20 min. Bake: 15 min./batch
Ingredients 1/2 cup butter, softened 1 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar, divided 2 eggs 1 cup mashed ripe bananas 2/3 cup peanut butter 1 tablespoon milk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 3/4 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips
Directions In a large bowl, cream butter and 1 cup sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the bananas, peanut butter, milk and vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt; add to creamed mixture just until moistened. Fold in chips. Fill greased or paper-lined miniature muffin cups three-fourths full. Sprinkle with remaining sugar. Bake at 350° for 14-16 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 5 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks. Serve warm. Yield: 6 dozen.
Nutrition Facts: 2 muffins equals 126 calories, 6 g fat (3 g saturated fat), 18 mg cholesterol, 112 mg sodium, 16 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 3 g protein. Diabetic Exchanges: 1 starch, 1 fat.
*************************** CATHOLIC OR NOT YOUR GONNNA LOVE THIS
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, But they only know to say one thing' 'What do they say?' the priest asked. They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' 'That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, Then he thought for a moment...... 'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible... Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying... That phrase... In no time.' 'Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.' The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.... As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying..
Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them... After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' There was stunned silence...
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says, 'Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered!
*************************** COW JOKE
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues *************************** Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow! Was it a Jersey cow? I don't know, I didn't see her license plate! *************************** Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
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