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REMINDERS FROM GOD: Don't Tread on Me
"Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil."1
"In December, 1775, an American colonist (believed by many scholars to be Benjamin Franklin), noticed the increasing use of a symbol throughout the colonies, stamped onto barrels and other items, depicting a coiled rattlesnake with the words 'Don't Tread On Me' written below the snake. He wondered about how the symbol of a rattlesnake could be a symbol of the American desire for freedom?
"He wrote the following words: 'The Rattle-Snake is found in no other quarter of the world besides America. She never begins an attack, nor, when once engaged, never surrenders: She is therefore an emblem of magnanimity and true courage. She never wounds 'till she has generously given notice, even to her enemy, and cautioned him against the danger of treading on her.'"2
I've been hiking in the mountains and heard the warning sign of a rattler and was extremely thankful for that. Recently our little dog was barking furiously so we went out on our back deck so see what was going on, and there was a rattlesnake warning our puppy not to come too close. We were extremely grateful for the snake's warning rattle. In the Bible, Satan is depicted as a serpent—a serpent who not only doesn't warn about his lethal bite, but appears in alluring disguises promising great rewards of pleasure, ready and waiting to devour his every victim.
How different from God because over and over he warns us in his Word, the Bible, to avoid sin at all costs for it will destroy us. He, too, has generously given notice even to his enemies to "flee from the wrath to come" and to turn to Christ the Savior of the world.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to be careful where I walk (how I live) and avoid the ways of Satan at all costs. Thank you that there is salvation from the evil one when I turn to you. Help me so to do. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Ephesians 5:15-16
15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
Footnotes: Ephesians 5:15 Lit look carefully Ephesians 5:16 Lit redeeming the time
******************** WORD FROM THE DAY:
supposititious • suh-pah-zuh-TISH-us • adjective 1 a : fraudulently substituted : spurious b : of a child (1) : falsely presented as a genuine heir (2) : illegitimate 2 a : imaginary b : of the nature of or based on a supposition : hypothetical Examples: "I sat looking at Peggotty for some time, in a reverie on this supposititious case: whether, if she were employed to lose me like the boy in the fairy tale, I should be able to track my way home again by the buttons she would shed." -- From Charles Dickens' 1850 novel David Copperfield
"If I had Clark for a son, I would probably take my supposititious heir to lunch myself." -- From Tim Sandlin's 2010 novel Social Blunders
********************** PET TIP:
Milk replacement for Puppies Recipe
There are many reasons that a dog owner may end up having to hand fed a newborn pup. Sometimes the mother will die during delivery, she may get mastitis (milk fever), or she may even reject her own pups. When any of these things happen, it is up to you to make sure that the pup or pups is able to survive. There are several good puppy milk replacement formulas that you can buy at your local pet store or even Walmart. However, these can be very expensive especially if you are feeding a large litter. It is very easy and cost efficient to make a replacement formula for you pups using ingredients you probably already have around the house. Here are a couple different recipes that you can make at home. Number one: 1/2 cup evaporated milk (never use whole milk, it can cause diarrhea and dehydration) 1/2 cup boiled water-cooled 1 tsp of karo syrup 1 tablespoon of plain yogurt 1 drop of a pediatric multivitamin 2 raw egg yolks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number two: 1 cup of goat milk 2 egg yolks 2 tsp karo syrup 1 drop of pediatric multivitamin
Mix all of the ingredients well and use immediately or refrigerate for up to two days. Be sure to dispose of all leftovers after this time. You can add the mixture to a special puppy bottle for most breeds, or use a regular human baby bottle for many large breeds. You need to check and make sure that the hole in the nipple is large enough for the mixture to pass through easily, but not to fast so that the pup doesn't choke. For puppies that cannot suck on their own, use a medicine dropper. Make sure to angle the bottle enough so that the pup is not sucking in air. Pups need to eat alot, so be prepared to feed them about every two hours day and night. You'll probably need to give each pup about 30 milliliters of formula mixture for every 3 ounces of the pup's weight per day. As the pups get older, you can decrease the frequency of feedings. You also should weigh each pup accurately every day to make sure they are getting enough to eat and gaining weight. Any pup that is lagging behind it's litter mates may need a few extra feedings daily. If the pups are crying constantly and trying to latch onto and suck things around them are probably still hungry and should be fed again.
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RECIPE 1 1 x 8 oz. carton of vanilla yoghurt 1 x can of evaporated milk (not low fat) 6 oz boiled cooled water 2 x egg yolks (someone once told me to add a tablespoon of mayonnaise) This keeps well in the refrigerator and the pups thrive on it. Put a drop of Pet Nutri Drops in before the feeding or on their tongues before the feeding. From the Walkowitcz-Wilcox book Successful Dog Breeding and Canine Midwifery. RECIPE 2 10 oz. evaporated milk (whole fat or part skim -- do not use all skim) or goat's milk 3 oz. sterilized water (baby water or boiled water) -- delete if using goat's milk 1 egg yolk (raw) 2 Tablespoons regular mayonnaise (optional) 1 cup whole fat yoghurt (whole fat or part skim -- avoid all skim) Place all ingredients in a blender and mix (or use a wire whisk) till well blended. Use all formula within 7 days.
Warm formula to puppy body temperature before feeding (dogs are 101 degrees). Always discard formula leftover at a feeding. This formula is thick and so is best administered by stomach tube. If using a bottle, you may need to enlarge the hole slightly. It provides 11 calories per cc. RECIPE 3 1 cup Carnation Evaporated Milk 1 cup boiled, cooled water 1 raw egg yolk 2 tablespoons Natural Yoghurt 1 teaspoon honey
RECIPE 4 1 cup milk Goat's milk or evaporated milk 1 teaspoon salad oil 1 drop baby vitamins 2 egg yolks
RECIPE 5 1 cup of canned Condensed milk or Evaporated milk 4 oz plain, full-fat yoghurt 1 egg yolk 1 teaspoon of baby vitamins 1 envelope of Knox unflavoured gelatine in addition to other ingredients will help keep stools solid.
RECIPE 6 13 oz. can of evaporated milk Equal amount of water 4 oz. of plain yoghurt 4 egg yolks 1 tablespoon of liquid vitamins. The water element is very important in any formula. The newborn puppy has a tremendous need for water, since he himself is almost 85% water.
RECIPE 7 50/50 Evaporated Milk and WARM (pre-boiled) water 1 beaten egg yoke 1 Teaspoon of Sandoz Calcium 1 Teaspoon of Glucose Powder 3 drops of Pentavite Vitamin Drops Strain with a tea strainer.
RECIPE 8 This is used as a supplement if you have to hand-raise, given to the bitch during whelping process, used to wean puppies. It is suppose to be as close to bitch milk as possible and produce superior puppies.
MIX IN BLENDER: 1 Tablespoon Honey 1 Tablespoon Whipping Cream 2 Egg Yolks 1 Can PET (brand) Evaporated Milk DISSOLVE ON STOVE: 2 Packages Knox (brand) unflavoured gelatin 1 Can water Combine all above together. Add one more can of water. Blend well. Refrigerate. The stuff turns to a "pudding" state, but melts when warmed.
RECIPE 9 1 tin of Carnation Evaporated Milk Equal amount of water 1 whole egg 1 heaped teaspoon of honey Mix all together and strain, then heat in microwave to desired temperature.
RECIPE 10 Diet can fully support life or be supplemental 1 x regular size can of Evaporated Milk (cows) 1 x equal size can of Water 1 x 8 ounce container regular Plain Yogurt ( 6 oz container also OK) 1 x strained jar baby food meat, first choice is Veal, second is Chicken, third is Lamb. Must have NO Additives (other ingredients and/or spices) and can only be prepared with Meat Broth as the fluid (in the USA I recommend a brand called Beechnut) ½ teaspoon honey - can be reduced or omitted if stools too loose. Blend all Ingredients. Can be refrigerated several days (3). Can be gently heated in microwave. Will flow through baby bottle nipples (I use Preemie crosscut nipples as they are the softest, most flexible)
We have raised many litters with this formula. A excellent as a supplement and Dams love it if they need an extra boost.
Gloria Seifman Brasstax Bassets brasstax@earthlink.net RECIPE 11 PUPPY MILK REPLACER.
Ingredients: 1 (one) cup whole (full cream) milk 1 (one) teaspoon of corn (or other vegetable) oil 1 (one) egg yolk (NO white) 1 (one) pinch of salt 1 (one) drop of infant multivitamin supplement. Blend the mixture. Warm to body temperature before feeding (in warm water ie. DO NOT HEAT DIRECTLY) Refrigerate unused portion. Discard any unused mixture after 24 hours.
EMERGENCY PUPPY MILK REPLACER 1 cup whole milk (cow or goat) 1 pinch table grade salt 3 egg yolks - no whites 1 tablespoon corn oil ¼ teaspoon liquid vitamins Blend and serve at 95° - 100° or skin temperature
WEAK PUPPY BOOSTER This formula is meant to be used on newborns who are chilled, weak or otherwise compromised. This formula should be administered every 1-2 hours (or more often) by stomach tube and the puppy should be warmed slowly. Once the puppy begins to maintain a normal body temperature, regular feeding can resume. NEVER FEED A CHILLED PUPPY MILK REPLACER. 8oz. lactated ringers solution or sterilized water 1 tablespoon white Karo syrup or white sugar (do not use honey) OR Substitute plain, unflavoured Pedialyte Mix ingredients and warm to body temperature. Preferred administration is stomach tube (to ensure correct dosage). Feed ½ cc per 2 oz. of body weight once per hour. If puppy is very weak, you may half the dosage and feed twice as often. This formula should be followed up with milk replacer as soon as the puppy is maintaining normal body temperature. This formula should not be fed exclusively for more than 8 hours. Written by Cathy Ochs-Cline. Links to other articles by Cathy on Whelping ANAEMIC NURSING MOTHERS AND WHEN DOGS WON'T EAT
Pudding Recipe Mix large 4 cup size vanilla pudding ½ cup sugar 4 cups of milk 4 egg yolks Cook on low heat to pudding consistency and offer to new mother at body temperature. She can eat as much as she wants. Has never caused diarrhoea and brings in abundance of milk!!!
OR from scratch...
mix the following in a saucepan and cook to pudding consistency. 2/3 cup sugar 6 tablespoons cornstarch ½ teas salt 4 cups milk (or one can evap milk plus equal parts water to make quart) 4 egg yolks 3 teaspoons vanilla Feed with syringe, on spoon, or let eat from bowl.
...full of protein and nourishment....have never had it cause diarrhoea.
(How to Buy and Raise a Good Healthy Dog by Terri Shumsky) TEMPORARY MILK SUBSTITUTE When the entire litter is deprived of the mother's milk, if the mother dies or her milk does not come in (agalactia), is not sufficient (hypogalactia) or is toxic (mastitis), use of a milk substitute adapted for dogs usually ensures the survival of the puppies, although there may be a slight slowdown (less than ten percent) in growth compared to the average of the breed, which is often regained later by spontaneous consumption of a weaning formula. On their own, puppies will nurse more than twenty times per day. It would be difficult for the owner to keep up with such a feeding schedule! A schedule of feeding once every three hours for the first week should be adequate, as long as the feedings are regular and the sleep schedule is respected (puppies sleep more than ninety percent of the time during the first week) so the puppies get the rest so essential to bonding and imprinting. While it is possible to adapt cow's milk for puppies, powdered puppy formulas are much better, especially since their lactose content is limited. In addition to saving time and money, powdered puppy formulas are packaged dry. This limits the risk of diarrhea in the puppies, whose stomach acid is not yet strong enough to completely sterilize the digesting food. After adding water and heating the formula to 37°C, the owner can feed the puppy either by means of a bottle, or by gavage, using a probe (urinary probe), if the puppy refuses to nurse. If the milk is given by mouth using a syringe, it should have the consistency of rather thick baby cereal to trigger the swallowing reflex and limit the risk of food "going down the wrong way." If food enters the respiratory tract, bronchial pneumonia may result. The following are a few points that will help decide how much milk to feed the puppies: One kilogram of bitch milk contains about 1350 kilocalories. A puppy needs three to four millilitres of milk per gram of weight gain. The caloric requirements of nursing puppies are more than two-and-a-half times greater than the maintenance requirements of an adult dog of the same weight. For example, if a one-month-old puppy weighs three kilograms (adult weight twenty-two kilograms), its daily average weight gain is about six grams per kilogram of estimated adult weight, or 130 grams per day. To gain this much weight, the puppy must eat 4 x 130 = 520 grams of milk per day, which is equal to 0.52 x 1350 = 600 kilocalories.
A household recipe that can be used temporarily as a substitute for bitch milk. 270g Unsweetened Evaporated Milk 70g Fresh Cream 450g Nine eggs without shell 56g One egg with shell 154g Mineral Water TOTAL 1000g From the ANIWA Encyclopaedia
RECIPE TO HELP THE BITCHES MILK COME DOWN 1 cup of milk 1 teaspoon honey 1 teaspoon Flax seed oil 2 raw egg yolks 1-2 junket tablets Put it in a bottle, shake it vigorously, then stand it in hot water, it goes into a custard type consistency. You can also add liquid vitamins (B & C), but if that puts her off drinking it, then don't give it in the food. TIPS As an orphan Toy breed pup gets a little older, I start using (human) baby bottles (Nuk or Avent brands) and teats for newborn's (Pigeon cross-cut size for 3 months has been recommended also). ************************************ Lime- and Chili-Rubbed Chicken Breasts
A robust rub turns ordinary chicken into extraordinary grilled chicken.
PREP TIME 20 Min TOTAL TIME 20 Min SERVINGS 4
INGREDIENTS 2 teaspoons chili powder 2 teaspoons packed brown sugar 2 teaspoons grated lime peel 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder 1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper (cayenne) 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 1 1/4 lb) 2 teaspoons olive or canola oil
1Heat gas or charcoal grill. In small bowl, mix chili powder, brown sugar, lime peel, salt, garlic powder and ground red pepper. Rub both sides of chicken with oil, then with spice mixture. 2Place chicken on grill over medium heat. Cover grill; cook 10 to 15 minutes, turning once or twice, until juice of chicken is clear when center of thickest part is cut (170°F).
Expert Tips Refrigerating the "rubbed" chicken 20 to 30 minutes before grilling really enhances the flavor.
You can bake the chicken. Place the rubbed chicken in a foil-lined shallow baking pan and bake in a 375°F oven for 25 to 30 minutes.
******************** Kansas City BBQ Nachos
PREP TIME15 Min TOTAL TIME30 Min SERVINGS8
The flavors of Kansas City BBQ pulled pork inspire this delicious nacho platter, complete with layers of chips, beans and cheese.
INGREDIENTS
6 cups triangle-shaped corn tortilla chips (8 oz) 2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese (8 oz) 1 can (16 oz) spicy chili beans, undrained 1 container (18 oz) refrigerated seasoned shredded pork in original BBQ sauce 1/4 cup Old El Paso® pickled jalapeño slices, drained, chopped (from 12-oz jar) 1 cup tangy vinaigrette-style deli coleslaw, drained 2 medium green onions, sliced (2 tablespoons)
1Heat oven to 400°F. Line 12-inch pizza pan or 15x10x1-inch pan with foil; spray with cooking spray. Spread half of chips evenly on pan. Sprinkle 1 cup of the cheese over chips. 2In medium bowl, mix chili beans, pork and jalapeños. Drop half of mixture by small spoonfuls over chips. Repeat layers with chips, cheese and pork mixture. 3Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until cheese is melted. Top with coleslaw and green onions. Serve immediately.
Expert Tips To microwave instead of bake, layer the nachos on a microwavable plate. Microwave uncovered on Medium (50%) 2 to 4 minutes or until cheese is melted.
Fresh chopped jalapeño chiles can be substituted for the pickled, if you like. ********************** How to Make Homemade Bread
The Western world loves bread. It's hard to find something better than the sliced version. But have you ever considered making your own bread? Doing this at home, let's say without a breadmaker but with a bread mixer, can be a deeply satisfying experience. Just imagine: It's a cold winter day and you're sitting down to a cup of hot chocolate with a slice of warm, fresh, homemade bread. Lovely, no?
In order to make bread at home, you will need the following equipment:
*An oven *Bread loaf pans. Try 8x4x4 *Bread mixer (or a strong mixing spoon!) *Measuring cups and spoons *Unbleached white or whole wheat flour *Dry yeast *Canola oil or butter *Honey or sugar *Salt
With these tools and ingredients alone, you can make a very basic loaf of bread. We'll show you two recipes that take about 30 minutes of actual labor and a couple of hours of total prep time. The procedures outlined are for those with a bread mixer. If you don't have one of these, you will spend about twice as much time mixing and kneading, and you'll get more exercise, but you will still have a great experience!
BASIC WHITE BREAD (2 8x4 loaves)
*3 cups warm water *1/3 cup oil or melted butter *1/3 cup sugar or honey *2 tsp. salt Combine these and mix at low speed for 2 minutes. *1 1/2 Tbsp. dry yeast
Add the yeast to the liquid, mixing very well again
*6-9 cups white, unbleached flour
Add flour a cup at a time, mixing between each cup. At about 6 or 7 cups in, you will have a sticky ball of dough. Keep adding flour, a small amount at a time, until it feels like an earlobe when you squeeze it. Next, turn out the dough onto a floured countertop. Knead the ball of dough for a couple minutes to even out the texture. At this point you will have probably spent about 15 minutes on the process. Next put the dough into a bowl that has been buttered or oiled on the inside. Cover with a clean, damp towel for about 45 minutes to let it rise for the 1st time. When the dough has doubled in size, simply take the damp towel off and punch the dough. It will deflate satisfyingly. Turn the dough onto your floured countertop again, knead it for two minutes to even out the texture again, then divide into two equal size balls. The easiest way to shape your dough is to roll the dough out to a fairly even rectangular shape that is about 1/2 or 3/4 of an inch thick. Then simply roll the dough up, from one side to the other. You will have an even, torpedo-shaped, smooth loaf. Place your loaves into greased bread pans. Wait about 15 minutes, then preheat your oven to 350 Fahrenheit (176 Celsius). Allow the dough to rise until doubled again, then place the loaf pans carefully in your preheated oven. Set the timer to 45 minutes. When you take your bread out of the oven, let it sit in the pan for about 5 minutes. Then remove the hot, delectable loaves carefully, placing them on a cooling rack. Twenty minutes later, you can have that hot slice of bread!
ORIGINAL PIONEER BREAD
The difference between the basic recipe above and this one is that you are going to use whole wheat flour, whey if you can get it, and you are going to allow it to sponge so it adheres better. Your amounts are the same, except for the changes shown in the procedure below. *Mix all liquids except about 1/2 cup of water. Add 1/4 cup of whey to liquids. Then add 4 cups whole wheat flour and mix well. Cover and let this sit for 4 hours minimum and as much as 24 hours if you want. *In 1/2 cup of warm water, dissolve a little honey or sugar, then your yeast. Mix this into the dough that has been sitting. Mix very well. Then add as much unbleached white flour as needed to make a good ball of dough. The unbleached white flour will keep your bread from being too heavy. When you've got a ball of dough, follow the procedures we discussed above. Then enjoy your incredible pioneer bread!
******************** How to Make Greek Seasoning Mix
This mix is really good, but different. Try it in your next Greek Gyros.
Difficulty: Easy
Instructions
Things You'll Need 1 1/2 teaspoons oregano 1 teaspoon dried mint 1 teaspoon thyme 1/2 teaspoon basil 1/2 teaspoon marjoram 1/2 teaspoon minced onion 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
Instructions
Things You'll Need
1 1/2 teaspoons oregano 1 teaspoon dried mint 1 teaspoon thyme 1/2 teaspoon basil 1/2 teaspoon marjoram 1/2 teaspoon minced onion 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
Directions: 1. Mix all ingredients together in a small bowl. 2. Store in an airtight container. This will stay good for 2 months or so. 3. This makes 2 Tablespoons of Greek Seasoning.
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Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Psalm 103:13 “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;â€
Conquered From Within
"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord … From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind … he watches all who live on earth … considers everything they do. No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength."1 I have read how "in Ancient China, the people desired security from the barbaric hordes to the north so they built the great Chinese wall. It was so high they knew no one could climb over it and so thick that nothing could break it down. They settled back to enjoy their security. "During the first hundred years of the wall's existence, China was invaded three times. Not once did the barbaric hordes break down the wall or climb over the top. Each time they bribed a gatekeeper and then marched right through the gates. The Chinese were so busy relying upon the walls of stone that they forgot to teach integrity to their children."2 In other words they were defeated from within. Ancient Israel trusted in its military might but turned from God and obedience to his laws—and was conquered. Ancient Rome trusted in its military might but turning to licentious living they, too, were ultimately defeated and destroyed from within. The same principle holds true for both nations—including the mighty U.S.A.—and individuals. If we turn from God and his way to go our own way, we too will ultimately be destroyed from within. As God's Word reminds us, "Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people."3
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me as an individual and us as a nation to see the folly of our ways when we turn from following your ways to go our own self-directed and sinful ways. Please send a great spiritual awakening so that we will turn back to you and make you the Lord of our life and of our nation. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Proverbs 14:34 (New International Version (NIV)) 34 Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin condemns any people.
Psalm 33:12-16 (New International Version (NIV)) 12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. 13 From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; 14 from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth— 15 he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.
16 No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength.
************************ WORD FOR THE DAY:
efficacious • ef-uh-KAY-shus • adjective : having the power to produce a desired effect
Examples: Pam knew that the most efficacious remedy for her cold would be a steaming bowl of her grandmother’s famous chicken soup. "The following plan is efficacious in ridding fields not only of crows but of smaller birds and even domestic fowl: Make an imitation hawk, using a large potato and long turkey feathers…. Suspend it from a tall, bent pole. The wind will lend it realism by agitating it." -- From Jerry Mack Johnson’s 2011 book Old-Time Wisdom and Country Lore: 1000s of Skills for Simple Living
Definition efficacious (adjective)
-able to produce the intended result; effective Etymology+Origin of efficacious (adjective)
1520s, from L. efficaci- + -ous. Related: Efficaciously. Synonyms for efficacious (adjective)
predominant , competent , adequate , active , energetic , going , sovereign , valid , infallible , positive , virtuous , persuasive , capable , powerful , strong , effective , effectual , efficient , judicious , potent , live , successful , useful , happy , providential , serviceable , operative , puissant , helpful , influential
********************** CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle. THINGS TO PONDER: Would a fly without wings be called a walk? THINGS TO PONDER: Can you be a closet claustrophobic? THINGS TO PONDER: Why are most homes white?
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you've ever tried to pass an entire funeral procession.
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them."- Mark Twain
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty can in the car.
"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination." - Tommy Lasorda
You might be a REDNECK if... ...when you was little, your front yard got toilet papered and your momma thought it was a gift from God.
"The first wealth is health." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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How to Let Go of Sentimental Clutter
The road to happiness must be uncluttered or else it is a road to somewhere else. Many people believe that cutting down on clutter simply means removing physical objects out of their path, yet they rarely consider just how that clutter ends up blocking them in the first place. And being of a sentimental bent can increase your proclivity to clutter one hundred fold because you'll never meet a memento you don't want to keep... Become more philosophical about acquiring 'stuff' and learn how to shift the sentimental clutter right out of your life.
Steps
1 Reflect on what sort of clutter proves sentimental in nature for you. Reflect on what sort of clutter proves sentimental in nature for you. Not everyone will have the same sentimental triggers or reasons for keeping clutter. However, there are some fairly standard reasons that bring about sentimental clutter:
Someone you care/cared about very much gave the item(s) to you. Your children made it or brought it into the house. Your loved ones bought it or brought it into the house. It brings back awesome memories of a very special time that has long since passed, perhaps "halcyon days"; You made it or bought it when you were younger/going through a crisis/experiencing a life transition or epiphany, etc. or you got it when traveling overseas.
2 Recognize where the value in the sentimental object emanates from. Recognize where the value in the sentimental object emanates from. It isn't the object itself that is creating value and causing you to feel sentimental. Rather, it is you who are doing this, by adding value to the object through attaching your memory to it. Remember that no matter how much magic or specialness you have imparted to the object, it isn't the person or the moment – it is simply an object and it's an object that is potentially holding you back. It is your way of bringing that person or moment into the present and hoping that the magic still holds now. However, that moment is a memory and the feelings, emotions, and interactions first present when that object came into your life have passed. You are always entitled to the memory but allowing such objects to create a burden on your present life is unhealthy. Emotional attachment is the biggest reason for why people are not able to let go of their clutter. And yet it is stifling and immobilizing to be storing "memories" in the household equivalent of hardware (your brain being the software). It follows you everywhere, trips you up, and prevents you from doing things you'd rather be doing because it's there, in the way, hiding the gear you really need to be using to enjoy your life!
3 Some things combine sentiment and utility – bravo for them! Separate the sentimental from the practical and the liberating. Sentimental clutter can soon drown you when you cannot create boundaries between it and the remainder of your life. Allowing sentimental clutter to fill your current life soon becomes a way of bloating the present with the past, of recreating memories instead of forging ahead, and even of hanging on to a self or onto other people who have since changed considerably (such as children growing up, your own entering another phase of life, etc.). On the other hand, practical and liberating things in your life are the tools with which you make current living better, easier, and more enjoyable. Practical things have a place and are not clutter, they're not shoved away in unmarked boxes or at the back of cupboards; instead they're in clear places, getting used regularly. Liberating things are the daily items that enable you to get your chores, living, and leisure sorted. And you also gain that wonderful element known as "space" – to have the space is to have freedom from clutter. There is such a thing as "too much to remember" and you cannot possibly recall it all, so allow yourself some forgetfulness and learn to appreciate the freedom in that.
4 Ooh sneaky... the sentimental item is the storage container! Consider your space allowances. If you have the space for a whole lot of sentimental stuff, maybe you feel you can hang onto it. Even then though, that's a folly because you're still going to be confronted by it even in a large house. One day, some day, you'll have to go to that storage space and check it out and ask yourself why you have all that stuff there... The problem for most people is that too much stuff tends to cause us to expand our space instead of making the most of the space we have. Once we start feeling we don't have space, we think about bigger living premises instead of reducing. And that hits the wallet, the psyche, the planet's resources, and your sense of well-being. If your space is bulging, you need to tackle the sentimental clutter the most precisely because it is the hardest to let go of and yet the most liable to be preventing you from living a fulfilled life right now. You're in a big mess if you're renting out space to cover the extra stuff you've got. None of it can be worth the need to rent space! Imagine watching people going through your sentimental clutter from hovering above after your death. Do you feel good about what they're finding or enormously embarrassed?
5 Develop a series of tests for your sentimental objects rather than seeking to keep them all. Develop a series of tests for your sentimental objects rather than seeking to keep them all. It can be very hard for a sentimental person to let go of sentimental objects; it can feel as if a large chunk of who you were/are and the things that make up you are going with the object. To ease the transition from clutter to clarity, allow yourself a sliding scale of sentimental objects or a series of test questions. Keep the objects only if they meet the grade, be done with them if they fail. Consider such tipping out points as: If I haven't looked at it for over a year, it has had its time. If I am too embarrassed to display it, it is not an object worth keeping. If I have so many of this kind of object that I am blurring the memories, be done with all of them. If I am still harboring anger, resentment, irritation, or other negative feelings toward the person represented by this object, it is time to let go for my mental health's sake. If the sentimental objects consist of several items from a member of the family who has long passed and I am not using them, not displaying then, and not enjoying them but really only hoarding them, then it's probably time to share the items around more of the family than just me. (In this case, often there will be new members of the family old enough to care for heirlooms after you've hoarded them long enough, so be kind and pass some on.) If I hate the object but have imbued it with redeeming powers or as a reminder to be a better person, it's time is up. I am a better person for having kept it so long and for making a major decision to toss it. If I am prepared to display it, care for it, use it, wear it, play with it, read it, whatever action it needs, then I can keep it. For now.
6. Do you really need all this? If you think yes, see the digital option following! Cut down on the trinkets, letters, cuttings, etc., kept or piled in boxes and other containers. Sentimental boxes have a way of breeding around sentimental people. And how easy it is to shove a full shoebox or other box to the back of a shelf or cupboard and forget it's even there... And yet, it is taking up space and not serving you at all, especially when you find another 15 of these special boxes" cluttered all about the house. Be honest with yourself; just how many of those Christmas cards, love letters, recipe snippets, travel brochures, ticket stubs, children's artwork, and so forth, are you truly going to look through again? Start consolidating the many special boxes or piles to one. It will take time but you have one more chance to travel down memory line as you sort and toss. Be very selective. Pull things that you really want to keep together into one box and when it's full, either cull or don't add anything else. In the case of children's mementos, it could be a sign that they have left one growth stage for another and that means a mental shift for you too. Same for your own phase shifts in life; they are natural, healthy, and it does no good to cling to what you once were.
7Use the digital world to clear up the physical space for you. Use the digital world to clear up the physical space for you. Digital cameras, computer memory, online albums, and cloud computing are your allies in the journey to remove sentimental clutter from your world. Since memories are a particularly large reason for feeling sentimental, photographs can become a means by which you can keep your memory and toss the object. Remembering that the memory is inside of you, not in the object itself, treat the photos as "memory triggers without spatial dimension". Take a photo of each object before disposing of it or donating it (do try to donate or recycle wherever possible). Store your photos on your computer, in cloud computing, on a photo site, or wherever it's easiest and most fun for you to go through when you're feeling a need to track back down sentimental lane. The beauty of this process is that every memory trigger is in one easy-to-find spot, it's not taking up any space, and it's not going to be lost. It does work! Become a digital scrapbooker. You can hoard away and play with creativity to your heart's content and none of this will take up space in your non-virtual world!
8 Jump for joy after sorting!Set limits and boundaries. In the future (after your initial declutter experience), use limits or boundaries to prevent you from adding to a sentimental clutter pile, drawer, or space in the house. There are several ways that you can do this, including: Asking yourself each time: "Is it necessary, is it just about my memory, is it going to make a difference or a mess in my life?" Using containers for anything stored. If it doesn't go in the container because it either isn't the same as the other things in the container or the container is full, use this as a reason to pause and ask yourself if it's necessary to keep it at all. Reminding yourself that you do not need more space. What you need is more time, more relaxation, and less impingement of the things that tie you down in life. Developing a sorting mentality, not a piling mentality. Both are habits and you can break the bad one and liberate yourself with the good one through sheer practice and self-talk.
Tips If you have a "faulty" memory, spend some time working on it and the reason behind why it's so faulty. Is it nutritional, anxiety-related, laziness, or some other reason? In the case of anxiety, depression, feeling the blues, etc, holding on to things can be an excuse to use the memory lazily and to let stuff do the work. Yet, it isn't mentally healthy for you as ultimately this stuff will clutter your creativity and ability to think and the memories evoked by stuff can actually hold you back physically from moving forward in your life or even moving around your home. If you're a perfectionist as well as a sentimentalist, you are going to find yourself procrastinating because no matter how well intended you might be, there is a risk that your sorting, organizing, and selecting the best will never be good enough. Realize this tendency in yourself and be very forgiving; once you let something go or organize it, let it be, no matter how imperfect a choice you feel it might be. Deferring the removal of sentimental clutter from your life is another way of deferring living your life to the fullest. Set yourself a deadline. Teach your children how to treasure memories internally so that they carry them wherever they go, whatever they do or do not own. Focus on playing down materialism and focus on relationship building, connection, and love. For some people, seeing a return can help motivate to stay uncluttered. Sell or donate sentimental items of value to people you know will make use of them when it comes to children's clothing, buggies, cribs, items from a hobby you've outgrown, clothing, etc. Seeing the joy of someone else who will actively appreciate the items can be a wound-soother. When you're reformed, help other sentimental clutterers to free themselves from the bind. That's a truly good deed you can perform.
Warnings Be compassionate with yourself. This is not going to be easy, although necessary, and a treat or two is in order after you complete each sort and throw out. A treat that gets you out of the house with nothing to be brought back into the house is ideal. Try going out to dinner, cycling by the lake, watching a movie, visiting friends, etc., and not shopping or bargain hunting! Forgetfulness is not always a curse. It is good to forget some things to leave room for more new experiences. And you'll be surprised what things trigger dormant memories, such as a smell, a person's face, a glance, a sound, a color, etc. Use these unexpected trigger points to increase your sense of wonder in life.
Things You'll Need Storage containers and labels Garbage bags and bins Donation boxes and bins Reminder notes to help you change your habits
*********************** Savory Jerk Marinade
Prep Time: 15 min Yield: 2 cups
INDREDIENTS 6 green onions, cut in 1-inch lengths 1/2 cup fresh orange juice 1/4 cup Crisco Pure Canola Oil 1/4 cup soy sauce 3 tablespoons apple cider or red wine vinegar 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice 1 tablespoon firmly packed dark brown sugar 1 tablespoon chopped fresh gingerroot 1 tablespoon chopped habanero, Scotch bonnet or jalapeno pepper 1 tablespoon ground allspice 1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves or 1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves 2 large shallots, peeled 2 large cloves garlic, peeled 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
DIRECTIONS: 1.COMBINE all marinade ingredients in food processor or blender container. Cover and process until smooth. Store in refrigerator in covered, non-metallic container, for up to 1 week. Use as a marinade for grilled poultry and pork.
*********************** Lime- and Chili-Rubbed Chicken Breasts
A robust rub turns ordinary chicken into extraordinary grilled chicken.
PREP TIME 20 Min TOTAL TIME 20 Min SERVINGS 4
INGREDIENTS 2 teaspoons chili powder 2 teaspoons packed brown sugar 2 teaspoons grated lime peel 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder 1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper (cayenne) 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 1 1/4 lb) 2 teaspoons olive or canola oil DIRECTIONS: 1Heat gas or charcoal grill. In small bowl, mix chili powder, brown sugar, lime peel, salt, garlic powder and ground red pepper. Rub both sides of chicken with oil, then with spice mixture. 2Place chicken on grill over medium heat. Cover grill; cook 10 to 15 minutes, turning once or twice, until juice of chicken is clear when center of thickest part is cut (170°F).
Expert Tips Refrigerating the "rubbed" chicken 20 to 30 minutes before grilling really enhances the flavor.
You can bake the chicken. Place the rubbed chicken in a foil-lined shallow baking pan and bake in a 375°F oven for 25 to 30 minutes.
*********************** Chicken Salad with Bow Ties & Mustard-Sesame Dressing
Active Time: 35 Minutes Total Time: 35 Minutes Yield: 8 servings, 1 1/2 cups each
Ginger “juice†and Dijon mustard add a unique intensity to this chicken pasta salad. Make it a meal: Apricot-Almond Clafouti is a delicious finish.
INGREDIENTS 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, trimmed and poached (see Tip) 1 4-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled 3 tablespoons Dijon mustard 2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar 1 tablespoon sesame oil 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar 1/2 teaspoon reduced-sodium soy sauce 8 ounces snow peas, stems and strings removed 1 pound whole-wheat bow-tie (farfalle) pasta 2 stalks celery, sliced on the bias 1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into 1/4-inch-by-3-inch strips 2 scallions, green part only, thinly sliced on the diagonal salt & freshly ground pepper to taste 1 tablespoon sesame seeds, toasted (see Tip)
Tip: To poach chicken breasts: Place boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a medium skillet or saucepan and add lightly salted water to cover; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer gently until chicken is cooked through and no longer pink in the middle, 10 to 12 minutes. To toast sesame seeds: Place in a small dry skillet and cook over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, until fragrant and lightly browned, 2 to 4 minutes. DIRECTIONS Thinly slice chicken and chill. Finely grate ginger into a fine sieve placed over a small bowl. Firmly press out all the liquid with the back of a spoon. (You should have about 1 1/2 tablespoons liquid). Add mustard, vinegar, sesame oil, sugar and soy sauce to the ginger juice and whisk until creamy; set aside. Bring 4 quarts salted water to a boil. Blanch snow peas in boiling water for 1 minute. Remove them with a slotted spoon and transfer to a colander. Rinse under cold running water and set aside. Return the water to a boil, add pasta and cook until just tender, about 8 to 10 minutes or according to package directions. Drain and rinse with cold water; set aside. Combine celery, bell pepper, scallions and the reserved chicken, snow peas and pasta in a large bowl. Add dressing and toss to coat. Taste and adjust seasonings with salt and pepper. Transfer to a serving platter and garnish with sesame seeds. Serve immediately.
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Mussels South of Two Borders
2 servings Active Time: 30 minutes Total Time: 30 minutes
INGREDIENTS 1/3 cup diced Spanish chorizo, (see Shopping Tip) 1 medium onion, diced 1 small plum tomato, diced 2 tablespoons chopped canned green chiles, drained 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 1 cup beer, preferably dark Mexican beer, such as Negra Modelo 2 pounds mussels, scrubbed and debearded if necessary (see Tip) 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
PREPARATION Cook chorizo in a large saucepan over medium heat until beginning to brown, 3 to 5 minutes. Add onion; cook, stirring often, until softened, about 3 minutes. Stir in tomato, chiles, cumin and pepper; cook, stirring occasionally, until the tomato begins to break down, about 3 minutes. Pour in beer, increase heat to medium-high, and bring to a boil, scraping up any browned bits. Stir in mussels and return to a simmer. Cover, reduce heat to medium-low, and cook just until the mussels have opened, about 7 minutes. Remove from the heat (discard any unopened mussels); stir in cilantro. Serve with the sauce.
TIPS & NOTES Shopping Tip: For this recipe we use fully cooked Spanish-style chorizo—spicy pork sausage seasoned with smoked paprika and chile—recognizable for its characteristic red color. Find it near other cured sausages in well-stocked supermarkets, specialty-food stores or online at tienda.com. Tip: To clean mussels, scrub with a stiff brush under cold running water. Scrape off any barnacles using the shell of another mussel. Pull off the fuzzy “beard†from each one (some mussels may not have a beard).
NUTRITION Per serving: 285 calories; 6 g fat ( 1 g sat , 1 g mono ); 48 mg cholesterol; 20 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 28 g protein; 3 g fiber; 510 mg sodium; 407 mg potassium.
Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (40% daily value), Iron (35% dv), Folate (17% dv), Vitamin A & Zinc (15% dv).
Carbohydrate Servings: 1 ***********************
Bourbon Old-Fashioned drink recipe Ingredients to use:
2 dashes Bitters 3 oz. Bourbon 1 tsp. Sugar 1 tsp. Water
Directions: Put sugar, water, and bitters in a glass. Stir gently until sugar dissolves. Add one or two ice cubes to glass and pour in bourbon. More ice can be added if desired.
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Mrs. Green to Mrs. Jones (who is gazing at an aeroplane): "My word! I shouldn't care for one of them flying things to settle on me."
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"Did ye see as Jim got ten years' penal for stealing that 'oss?"
"Serve 'im right, too. Why didn't 'e buy the 'oss and not pay for 'im like any other gentleman?"
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A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope. "That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man." As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."
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The contest was simple: Which department in the hospital where I worked as a nurse could create the best Christmas decorations? While they didn't win first prize, the members of the proctology department did receive high honors with their distinctive sign, "Christmas is a good time to look up old friends."
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Kind reader! take your choice to cry or laugh;
Here Harold lies-but where's his Epitaph?
If such you seek, try Westminster, and view
Ten thousand, just as fit for him as you.
—Byron. ***********************
Tie Salesman
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties... The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?" The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5." The Taliban shouted, "You Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie.. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water soon!" "OK," said the little old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about five miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom." Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead, and said: "You little prick, your brother won't let me in without a tie....."
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Cable Guy Humour from the USA Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in our Country lately: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida. .. .. . Not me -- I concentrate on win-win solutions for problems -- . *1 Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. *2 Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees. *3 Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border. Any other problems you would like for me to solve today? Think about this: 1. Cows 2. The Constitution 3. The Ten Commandments COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Do not let difficulty conquer you. You must conquer it. My Strength will be there awaiting you." -- GOD
Our Daily Devotional: Continue in the Work 1 Corinthians 15:58, NIV: "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." "Who are you to do it?" an accusing voice demands. "You are a hypocrite!" Your heart sinks, as you consider the accusation. But, then you hear another voice. "My grace is sufficient," He assures. And you find in that voice of Truth what you need to continue in the work God has given you. The devil will try everything to discourage you from doing God's work. The Lord may ask you to speak of His Love when you feel you've not been loving. He may ask you to speak of His Goodness, when your thinking, your behavior, or your lifestyle has not reflected His Goodness. If you are waiting until you are perfect before you serve, or teach, or preach--you will be waiting a long time. We will not always feel adequate for the work God gives us. Even while we are neck deep in serving Him, we will struggle with our weaknesses. But God's Truth does not change just because you or I cannot live up to it. Continue to recognize the sin that is in you as sin, confess it, repent of it; and while you are doing that--continue in the labor of the Lord.
For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: - Job 19:25 *************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: brindled BRIN-dld , adjective; 1. Gray or tawny with darker streaks or spots. Quotes: With each circuit he went faster and faster, until he looked like a brindled streak with a dash of black and white on top. -- Lucy Maud Montgomery, Chronicles of Avonlea They went thither to fetch some, leaving Cadmus stretched on the ground along with the brindled cow; for, now that he had found a place of rest, it seemed as if all the weariness of his pilgrimage, ever since he left King Aegnor's palace, had fallen upon him at once. -- Nathaniel Hawthorne, Tanglewood Tales
Origin: Brindled is alteration of brinded "brown or marked as if with brands" with -le, perhaps influenced by words like speckled, etc. ************************* THINGS TO PONDER: If it is zero degrees outside today and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
CONFUCIOUS SAYS: To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle.
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty can in the car.
"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible -- and achieve it, generation after generation." - Pearl S. Buck **************************** How to Get Pet Stained Carpets Clean and Odor Free When you've got pets, you've got stains and odors. There's no escaping it. Your rugs and furniture take a real beating from urine, diarrhea and vomit. I know mine sure do. That's a common problem with pets. Recently a client brought her dog Peanut into the clinic with a severe case of diarrhea. During the exam, Peanut's owner told me that she had just gotten new wall-to-wall carpeting in her home - and now it was ruined because Peanut's diarrhea stains wouldn't come out. As dog owners, pet stains are something we've all experienced. It can be really frustrating, especially because those "accidents" seem to happen in the worst possible places - like on a light-colored sofa or in the middle of your living room carpet. We've all been there, so I could really feel this woman's pain. There are a lot of problems with pet stains. You need to treat them as quickly as possible before they "set" or discolor the area. And if you don't get the odor out too, your dog may come back and soil the same area again. Finally, you've got to consider your pet's safety. The cleaner you use must be non-toxic and pet safe so your dog will not be poisoned by licking his paws after walking on the spot. My staff and I keep up with all the latest pet industry news and trends, and recently we learned about an award-winning pet stain remover called Fizzion that industry experts were just raving about. Fizzion treats stains and odors in a revolutionary new way - removing all traces of stain and odor. Pet Product News gave this product its top honor - the 2009 Editors' Choice Award. And Modern Dog magazine named it the Best New Product in their "Under $20" category. The industry buzz about Fizzion was so good that we decided to see for ourselves. We bought it and tried it on a variety of pet stains - including one nasty stain that was two years old. We could barely believe our eyes when that old stain - and all the others - just disappeared before our eyes! Fizzion is amazing. It really works on all protein-based pet stains - diarrhea, vomit, urine ... you name it. And it gets the odor out too. It even works on common household stains like coffee and red wine. Fizzion is a "green" product that is safe for humans, pets and the environment. So you don't have to worry if your dog licks or sniffs it. The other nice thing about Fizzion is that it comes in tablet form - you dilute the tablet in water to make the solution, which means you can control this product's shelf life (once it's mixed, it lasts a full year). I told Peanut's owner about Fizzion and suggested she give it a try. The following week she called me at the clinic to thank me for recommending the product. She was so excited and said her new rugs looked brand new again. This is an amazing stain remover. I've never seen anything like it. So if you've got problem stains and you haven't tried it yet, you really should. I hope this helps you solve your pet stain problems. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODAY'S PET TIP What to Do if You Find a Dog Many Many people are reluctant to take a found dog to the humane society or local animal shelter when found for fear the dog won't be reunited with its owner and be euthanized. What else can you do? If you do take the dog to the humane society or animal shelter, you can leave your contact information with a note that if the owner is NOT found, to call you as you will consider adoption. From there, you can decide what you want to do. Alternatively, here are some other things you can do to try to find the dog's owner. # Start by checking the dog for a tag or microchip. Tags should be obvious as they would be on a collar. Most humane societies or emergency clinics will have a scanner and will scan the dog to identify a microchip. If they find one, they will try to contact the owner. # Contact your local humane societies, animal shelter, local veterinarian's office, and local animal emergency clinic. Fax or take them a flyer to post on their bulletin board. # Create a flyer. Include information about where the dog was found, the date it was found, a description of the dog, a photo of the dog and your contact information. # Posting signs or flyers in the neighborhood where the dog was found (posting photos with the information on telephone poles, your local library community board, at the grocery store, ice cream parlor, etc). # Place an ad in your local paper or papers (since it is free!) Even if the owner doesn't read it - a friend of theirs might! # Walk to neighborhood. Take a walk and ask around if anyone lost a dog. ***************************** Lemon Spaghetti Prep Time 15 Min Cook Time 30 Min Ready In 45 Min Makes 4 servings
For those folks who have a zest for a great-tasting pasta dish, this lemon-infused offering is just your tang. Use your noodle and make a batch tonight.
Ingredients 8 oz. spaghetti 1/3 cup unsalted butter 1 (8 oz.) container sour cream 1 tsp. lemon zest 3 tbsp. fresh lemon juice 3 tbsp. chopped fresh parsley 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese Salt and ground black pepper to taste
Methods/steps Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cook spaghetti according to package directions until al dente. Drain and place spaghetti in a greased 1.5-quart casserole dish. Melt butter in medium saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat, and stir in sour cream, lemon peel, and lemon juice. Mix until smooth. Pour mixture over spaghetti in casserole dish. Mix well Bake 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven, or until heated through. Remove from oven, and add grated Parmesan cheese and parsley and season with salt and freshly ground pepper to taste. Serve immediately. *************************** Chicken Fajitas
Total Time:2 hr 10 min Prep1 hr 30 min Cook 40 min
Ingredients 1 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts 2 tablespoons olive oil 3 tablespoons lime juice 2 cloves garlic 1 cup packed cilantro leaves 1/2 jalapeno, seeded Salt and pepper 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 large onion, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch slices 1 green bell pepper, seeded and sliced 2 tablespoons olive oil 3 potatoes, cut into 1/2 inch cubes Salt and pepper Cayenne 10 flour tortillas
Directions Flatten chicken breasts to 1/2 inch thickness between two sheets of plastic wrap with a mallet or rolling pin. Place chicken breasts in glass baking dish. In a blender combine oil, lime juice, garlic, cilantro, jalapeno and salt and pepper. Blend until smooth and pour over chicken. Cover with plastic wrap and let chicken marinate for 30 minutes. In a large skillet over medium heat oil. Add onions and peppers and cook until they are tender and begin to brown. In a 9x13 glass baking dish toss potatoes with oil and seasonings. bake in 375 degree oven until crispy, about 30 minutes. Stir occasionally to prevent sticking. Heat a cast iron grill pan or an outdoor grill. Toast flour tortillas for about 30 seconds per side and keep warm in an aluminum foil pocket. Grill the chicken on each side for 4-5 minutes. To serve slice chicken into even strips. Serve hot with onions and peppers, potatoes, grated jack cheese, salsa and sour cream
**************************** Beef or Chicken Enchiladas
Prep Time:30 Min Cook Time:20 Min Ready In:50 Min Yield 6 servings
Ingredients
1 tablespoon butter or margarine 2 medium onions, chopped 1 garlic clove, minced 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 cup chicken broth 1 cup milk 2 (4 ounce) cans chopped green chilies 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin 12 flour or corn tortillas 1 1/2 cups cooked, shredded beef chuck roast 1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese 2 green onions with tops, thinly sliced Sour cream Salsa
Directions In a saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Saute onion and garlic until onion is tender. Blend in flour. Stir in broth, milk, chilies, salt and cumin. Cook and stir until thickened and bubbly. Reduce heat; simmer 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Set aside. Grease a 13-in. x 9-in.x 2-in. baking dish. Spoon a little sauce in the center of each tortilla; spread to edges. Place about 2 tablespoons meat down the center of each tortilla. Combine cheeses; sprinkle 1-2 tablespoons on top of meat. Roll up tortillas and place in baking dish, seam-side down. Pour remaining sauce over. Sprinkle with green onions and remaining cheese. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees F for 20-30 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Serve with sour cream and salsa. ***************************** Peach Pie "Lemon juice adds a nice tang but also keeps peaches from turning dark. Frozen peaches can be used if they are first thawed and well drained." Prep Time:15 Min Cook Time:50 Min Ready In: 1 Hr 5 Min
Yield 6 servings
Ingredients 1 pastry for double-crust pie 5 cups sliced peeled peaches 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1/2 teaspoon almond extract 1 cup sugar 1/4 cup quick-cooking tapioca 1/4 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons butter or margarine
Directions
Line a 9-in. pie plate with bottom crust. Trim pastry to 1 in. beyond edge of pie plate; set aside. In a bowl, combine peaches, lemon juice and extract. Add sugar, tapioca and salt; toss gently. Pour into crust; dot with butter. Roll out remaining pastry; make a lattice crust. Seal and flute edges. Cover edges loosely with foil. Bake at 425 degrees F for 20 minutes. Remove foil; bake 20-30 minutes longer or until crust is golden brown and filling is bubbly. Cool on wire rack.
**************************** Strawberry Rhubarb Pie
INGREDIENTS 3 cups rhubarb stalks cut into 1/2 inch pieces (Trim outside stringy layer of large rhubarb stalks; make sure to trim away any and discard of the leaves which are poisonous; trim ends.) 1 cup strawberries, stemmed and sliced 1 cup sugar 3 Tablespoons of quick cooking tapioca 1/4 teaspoon of salt 1 teaspoon of grated orange peel Unbaked pastry for two-crust 9 inch pie (If making a 10 inch pie, or just want more filling, use 4.5 cups of rhubarb, 1.5 cups strawberries, and 1 1/4 cup of sugar)
METHOD
1 Preheat oven to 400°F. Mix the rhubarb and the strawberries with the sugar, tapioca, salt, and orange rind. Let sit for 10 minutes. 2 Turn into a pastry lined pan. Top with the pastry, trim the edge, and crimp the top and bottom edges together. Cut slits in the top for the steam to escape. 3 Bake at 400°F for 20 minutes, reduce heat to 350°F, and bake an additional 30-40 minutes longer (40 to 50 minutes longer if doing a 10-inch pie). Cool on a rack. Serve warm or cold. If you do cool to room temperature, the juices will have more time to thicken. ****************************** Maybe the Best Blonde Joke Ever! Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again. An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?' The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick. *************************** MISSING WIFE The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. "We are sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife", said one of the Mounties. "Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted. The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first." The Mountie said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The Mountie continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her." Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news???" The Mountie said, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow." *************************** WEDDINGS When I was younger, I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of the aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, 'YOU'RE NEXT'... They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. *************************** THE BRIDGE A man was riding his Harley along a California beach, when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.' The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.' The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.' The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?' ************************* The 6 affairs... *The 1st Affair * A married man was having an affair With his secretary. One day they went to her place And made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep And woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed And told his lover to take his shoes Outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.' She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!' * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The 2nd Affair * A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters But always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time For the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant And delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery To see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child He had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can Be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?' The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!' * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The 3rd Affair * A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, About to be cremated, And made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part He had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician Commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated With such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, Stuffed it into his briefcase, And took it home. 'I have something to show You won't believe,' he said to his wife, Opening his briefcase. 'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!' * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The 4th Affair * A woman was in bed with her lover When she heard her husband Opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, Then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' She said. 'Pretend you're a statue.' 'What's this?' the husband inquired As he entered the room. 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it So I got one for us, too.' No more was said, Not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, Went to the kitchen and returned With a sandwich and a beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths And nobody offered me a damned thing.' * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The 5th Affair * A man walked into a cafe, Went to the bar and ordered a beer. 'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.' 'One Cent?' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak And a bottle of wine?' 'A nickel,' the barman replied. 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.' The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs With your wife?' The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing To his business down here.' *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
BE STILL (Author Unknown)
Be still, and know that I am God My Father said to Me, And I will fill your with my Peace, And set your Spirit Free.
You are my Own, I've Chosen you You are Precious in my Sight. Give Me your heart and I promise You I'll be your Guiding Light.
My Love for you will never fade. By your side I'll lways stay. My Joy will be your strenght and shield, If you'll let Me have My way.
I'm standing here with Arms Outstretched, I want to touch and make you whole. Of My Living waters, Come and Drink, And I will quench your thirsty soul,
Peace! Be still I am with you now, And no-one could Love You More My love for you will never Die Of that you can be sure.
That's what my Father said to Me And I know His Words are true. I know that He has set me Free And He'll do the same for You.
So just Reach Out, ask Him to forgive And Pardon all your Sin. Ask Him to be your God and King And He will take you in.
(Psalms 46:10)
(If you dont know Jesus as your personal savior, ask Him to come in your heart today!)
Tags: Religion
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Did You Spot the Gorilla? "I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."1 Tony Whittaker wrote how a 30-second film shows six people playing basketball, three in white shirts and three in black. Volunteers are asked to count how many times the white shirt team passes the ball. At the end of the film, they are asked if they saw anything unusual. Most do not. The unusual thing is: halfway through the film, a man wearing a gorilla suit walks through the players, beats his chest to the camera, and then walks off. "When shown the film again, people are utterly surprised to see him, to the extent that they often believe a different film has been substituted for the original one. Their focus on one task has blinded them to a truth. "This film trick illustrates a simple fact—that if we are only looking for one thing, we do not usually see anything different. This forms the basis of Professor Richard Wiseman's new book, Did You Spot the Gorilla? How to Recognize Hidden Opportunities. The point at which people finally see the unexpected is what he calls a 'gorilla moment.'"2 Furthermore, so often in life people see only what they want to see and don't see what they don't want or need to see. Have you had any "gorilla moments" lately? Have you seen God in your surroundings, in the love of those who love and accept you, in the myriad of blessings we all receive every day? And have you seen God in your present circumstances, or heard what he is trying to say to you in your disappointments, your financial setback, or your losses?
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to see and experience the wonder of your handiwork in all of nature as well as in the everyday issues of life. And above all, in the words of the songwriter, 'Open my eyes, Lord; I want to see Jesus, To reach out and touch Him and say that I love Him. Open my ears, Lord; help me to listen. Open my eyes, Lord; I want to see Jesus!'3 Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." ************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: orison AWR-uh-zuhn , noun; 1. A prayer. Quotes: Federigo, disappointed of the supper that he was to have had with her, and apprehending the words of the orison aright, hied him to the garden, and having found the two capons and the wine and the eggs at the foot of the peach-tree, took them home with him, and supped very comfortably. -- Giovanni Boccaccio, The Decameron The orison that passed her rosy lips was for my present and eternal happiness; and so innocently but ardently was the petition offered up, that I knelt beside her and united my prayer to hers. -- William Hamilton Maxwell, The bivouac: Volume 2 Origin: Orison derives from the Late Latin oratio-, a conjugation of the Latin "plea, oration." ***************************** THINGS TO PONDER: Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: Instead of being concerned that you have no office, be concerned to think how you may fit yourself for office. Instead of being concerned that you are not known, see to the (be?) worthy of being known.
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you've ever bought a used cap.
"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." - Dr. Robert Muller ******************************* Mom's Zucchini Bread
"Really, really good and moist- my kids eat it as quickly as I can make it. Bread will freeze well, and keep in refrigerator for weeks."
Prep Time: 20 Min Cook Time: 1 Hr Ready In: 1 Hr 40 Min
Original Recipe Yield 2 loaves Ingredients
3 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon baking powder 3 teaspoons ground cinnamon 3 eggs 1 cup vegetable oil 2 1/4 cups white sugar 3 teaspoons vanilla extract 2 cups grated zucchini 1 cup chopped walnuts
Directions
Grease and flour two 8 x 4 inch pans. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Sift flour, salt, baking powder, soda, and cinnamon together in a bowl. Beat eggs, oil, vanilla, and sugar together in a large bowl. Add sifted ingredients to the creamed mixture, and beat well. Stir in zucchini and nuts until well combined. Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake for 40 to 60 minutes, or until tester inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pan on rack for 20 minutes. Remove bread from pan, and completely cool.
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Bailey's And Coffee drink recipe Ingredients to use: 1 fill with hot Coffee 1 whipped Cream 1.5 oz. Irish Cream
Directions: Pour Bailey's into a mug. Fill with hot coffee and top with whipped cream. ****************************** Lobster Thermidor Makes 1 serving Here's a lobster dinner that rocks. One bite of this fancy favorite and you'll quickly recognize it as a shell of a dish. For a culinary classic that's rich in taste, dive into our lobster thermidor. Ingredients
1 16- to 20-oz. lobster tail 1 cup white sauce 2 oz. sliced mushrooms 1 pinch dry mustard 1 pinch nutmeg 1 oz. sherry 1/4 cup breadcrumbs 1 oz. shredded Parmesan cheese Methods/steps Cook lobster tail; dice the lobster meat. Simmer white sauce with mushrooms, mustard, nutmeg and sherry. Toss lobster chunks with sauce and put this mixture back in the lobster shell. Top with breadcrumbs and Parmesan and place in 400-degree oven until golden brown, about 10 minutes. ********************************** Tomato-&-Olive-Stuffed Portobello Caps
Portobello caps make excellent mini casseroles. Here, they hold a tomato, cheese and olive stuffing that grills up to a smoky perfection. Serve them with whole-wheat couscous and a mixed green salad for an easy meal. 4 servings Active Time: 35 minutes Total Time: 40 minutes
INGREDIENTS 2/3 cup chopped plum tomatoes 1/2 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese 1/4 cup chopped Kalamata olives 1 teaspoon minced garlic 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided 1/2 teaspoon finely chopped fresh rosemary, or 1/8 teaspoon dried 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 4 portobello mushroom caps, 5 inches wide 2 tablespoons lemon juice 2 teaspoons reduced-sodium soy sauce
PREPARATION Combine tomatoes, cheese, olives, garlic, 1 teaspoon oil, rosemary and pepper in a small bowl. Preheat grill to medium. Discard mushroom stems. Remove brown gills from the undersides of the caps using a spoon; discard gills. Mix the remaining 1 teaspoon oil, lemon juice and soy sauce in a small bowl. Brush the mixture over both sides of the caps. Oil a grill rack (see Tip). Place the caps on the rack, stem sides down, cover and grill until soft, about 5 minutes per side. Remove from the grill and fill with the tomato mixture. Return to the grill, cover, and cook until the cheese is melted, about 3 minutes more. TIPS & NOTES To oil a grill rack: Oil a folded paper towel, hold it with tongs and rub it over the rack. (Do not use cooking spray on a hot grill.
NUTRITION Per serving: 122 calories; 8 g fat ( 2 g sat , 4 g mono ); 9 mg cholesterol; 8 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 7 g protein; 2 g fiber; 338 mg sodium; 431 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (25% daily value), Potassium (17% dv), Calcium (15% dv). Carbohydrate Servings: 1/2 Exchanges: 1 vegetable, 1 high-fat meat ******************************* Fruit Bruschetta
PREP TIME 20 Min TOTAL TIME 20 Min SERVINGS 28
1 package (10.75 oz) frozen pound cake loaf, cut into fourteen 1/2-inch slices 2/3 cup soft cream cheese with strawberries, raspberries or pineapple 1 can (11 oz) mandarin orange segments, well drained Assorted bite-size pieces fresh fruit (kiwifruit, strawberry, raspberry, pear, apple) Chocolate-flavor syrup, if desired Toasted coconut or sliced almonds, if desired
1 Set oven control to broil. Place pound cake slices on rack in broiler pan. Broil with tops 4 to 5 inches from heat 3 to 5 minutes, turning once, until light golden brown. 2 Spread each slice with about 2 teaspoons cream cheese. Cut slices diagonally in half to make 28 pieces. Top with orange segments and desired fruit. Drizzle with syrup; sprinkle with coconut. Arrange on serving platter. Expert Tips You can drizzle the fruit with caramel topping instead of the chocolate syrup. Toast the pound cake up to a day ahead of time. You can assemble the bruschetta up to 4 hours before your party. Cover and refrigerate until serving time. **************************** Chicken Chop Suey
serves 4 Ingredients: 4 - 6 ounces (115 - 175 grams) chicken meat, thinly shredded 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 egg white 1 tablespoon thick cornflour/cornstarch paste - (1 part cornflour with 1.2 parts cold water) about 1/2 pint (300 ml) seasoned oil (see below) 1/2 teaspoon finely chopped garlic (optional) 1 tablespoon thinly shredded fresh ginger root 3 - 4 spring onions, thinly shredded 4 - 6 ounces (115 - 175 grams) bean sprouts 1 small green pepper, cored and seeded, thinly shredded 1/2 teaspoon caster (superfine) sugar 1 tablespoon light soy sauce 1/2 tablespoon Chinese rice wine 2 tablespoons stock pinch of MSG (optional) a few drops sesame oil
Preparation: Mix the chicken shreds with a pinch of the salt, the egg white and about 1 teaspoon cornflour/cornstarch paste. Blanch them in warm oil, stir to separate, then remove and drain them. Pour off the excess oil, leaving about 2 tablespoons in the wok, stir-fry all the vegetables for about 1 minute, add the remaining salt and the sugar, blend well, then add the chicken with the soy sauce and rice wine, stir-fry for another minute, and add the stock and MSG, if using; finally thicken the gravy with the remaining cornflour paste, garnish with the sesame oil and serve hot. *How to season vegetable oil Pour about 1 pint (600 ml) vegetable oil into a pre-heated wok or saucepan over a high heat, add 2 - 3 small pieces of ginger root. In a few minutes, the ginger pieces should rise to the surface. Now watch the color of the ginger; when it turns from pale yellow to dark brown, turn off the heat and let the oil cool down a little before removing the ginger pieces. Then store the seasoned oil in a container.
**************************** A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed, "Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He'll be so pissed if it's not ready on time." When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf. She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it. "Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day." Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her golf partners about it, and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed! Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the clubhouse, and one of them said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?" The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the windowsill while he was licking his ass."
NEVER lose the ability to find beauty in ordinary things! ****************************** 100 Ways to Nurture Yourself
Probably the most important component to demanding your joy is learning to take excellent care of yourself – mind, body, and spirit. Think of caring for yourself as if you were your own child – giving to yourself at least as much as you give to others. You are worth it! Like joy itself, self-nurturing comes in many little bits. Here are 100 of those bits for your consideration. This is not a checklist – only a list of suggestions. Please take the ones that speak to you and ignore the rest. Enjoy! Put a post-it on your mirror that says, “You look beautiful!†– and then accept the compliment every time you look at yourself. Buy fresh flowers every now and then. – Brighten up the place. Used colored pens for no particular reason. – Blue and black are fine, but how about orange? Take a walk without a destination. – It’s a great way to get some exercise and clear your mind. Be mindful of what you see, hear and feel. Take a hot bath. – With bubbles. Write in a journal. – Write anything that calls you. Ideas, experiences, dreams, frustrations – get them out of your head and down on paper. List the things that you’re grateful for. – You can’t help but feel better when you literally count your blessings. List the things that you like about yourself. – We can all list the things that we don’t like about ourselves. Turn that around and think about your many positive qualities. Create something. – Many of us have gotten away from actually making things. Create some artwork. Write something. Build something. Make something that didn’t exist before. It can be functional or frivolous – as long as you enjoy the process. Treat yourself. – We struggle to be disciplined, especially with money and food. You deserve a reward, right? Smile. – It’s very difficult to feel bad when your face is happy. Squash negative thoughts. – Listen to what’s going on in your head and actively quiet the voices of pessimists and critics. Assume the best, not the worst. Try something new. – Go out on a limb. Learn something new. Do that thing you’ve always wanted to try. The more experiences you have, the richer your life will be. Get enough sleep. – Everything is hard when you’re tired. Meditate. – It takes a little practice at first, but if you find a meditation that works for you, you will be calmer and more peaceful. Drink plenty of water. – It’s basic, but it’s so good for you. Stretch. – Before you start your day, take a few minutes for a good muscle stretch. It just plain feels good. And, it’s fast, easy and free. Put some “me time†on your calendar. – When life gets busy, doing things for yourself is the first thing to be sacrificed. So, actually block out time on your calendar. Call it a ‘staff meeting’ or something so that no one intrudes on your time. Call a friend. – Think of someone who you enjoy and ring them up! Ask for help. – This can be hard. But it’s so important to recognize when you need a sounding board, or some advice, or an extra pair of hands. Say no. – Your time is valuable. Set boundaries to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Ask for a hug. – We all need one. So just go get one. The person you ask probably needs one too. Delegate. – Hire someone to mow the lawn or scrub the floors. Teach the kids to do laundry. Give that project to a co-worker. You do not have to do it all. Take a deep breath. – And another. Now another. It’s like a mini-break to reset yourself during the day. Light a candle or use a reed diffuser. – Your sense of smell creates the strongest memories. Find scents you love and enjoy them. Claim some space for yourself. – A place where you can go to have a quiet moment to read a book, or meditate, or cry – somewhere that you can get some peace and privacy. Get out into nature. – Reconnecting with the earth is just good for your soul. Feel the breeze. Breathe the fresh air. So good! Buy the good ice cream. – Even on the tightest of budgets, this is important. Use lotions & soaps with scents that you love. – It’s a nice way to pamper yourself, plus you’ll smell good all day. Give a compliment. – Telling someone that they had a fantastic idea or that they look beautiful in that color creates a pleasant environment and makes two people feel good for the price of one. Listen to music. – Listen to whatever makes you happy. Can you be grumpy while listening to Gloria Gaynor? I think not. Play. – Something we forget as adults. A board game, a sport, finger painting – find something frivolous and have fun! Eat foods that you love. – Low fat, low calorie, low carb – blah, blah, blah. Food is to be enjoyed! Put food into your body that nourishes you in every way. Be silly every now and again. – We take ourselves entirely too seriously. Let go. Be spontaneous and outrageous! Laugh. – Sometimes you just need a good laugh to lift your spirits. Limit screen time. – Too much time in front of computers, TV’s, video games, and blackberries (or all of the above) disconnects you from the world immediately around you and makes your brain mushy. Make sure that you’re getting plenty of input from the non-virtual world. Be present. – Be deliberate about experiencing what’s happening right now. It’s all about the journey – don’t miss yours! Stop worrying. – It’s going to be fine. Because it is. Trust yourself. – You are smart, capable and talented. You’re choices are just as valid as anyone else’s. Don’t second guess yourself. Do something that’s only for you. – Remember that hobby that you used to have time for? Or that food that no one else in your house likes? Reclaim it. Make sure your health is in order. – What’s more important than your health? See your doctor regularly. Make sure you are getting the vitamins or supplements that you need. Advocate for yourself as you would for your child. Give to someone in need. – Donating your time or your stuff or your money to someone less fortunate makes you feel good and puts your problems into perspective. Sparkle! – Feeling schlumpy? Get all dolled up. Wear something schmancy. It’s a good way to find your strut. Dance. – It’s inherently joyful. You can’t be sad if you’re dancing! Write your own rock star introduction. – Image you’re on tour with thousands of screaming fans. How will you be introduced? “Please welcome the brilliant, the amazing, the gorgeous….you!†Stand up for yourself. – Your needs are important. Don’t let anyone disregard them. Pushing back can be scary but it’s empowering too! Celebrate! (for any reason at all) – Your kid learned to tie his shoes! Your taxes are done and filed! The week is more than half over! Let’s party! Find a mantra or an affirmation that lifts your spirits. – “Today is a new day.†“I know that life always supports me.†“I get everything that I want.†Find one that works for you. Stand tall. – Your spirit can’t soar when you slouch. You feel much more powerful when you stand up straight and look the world in the eye. Have sex. – What can I say? It feels good. Get a massage. – What can I say? It feels good. Choose optimism. – Thinking positive thoughts has a tangible impact on your day and on your life. Dream big. – You can do anything you set your mind to! Tune out the naysayers. – People criticize for many reasons, most of which have nothing to do with you. Follow your heart – not everyone has to get it. Add color to your surroundings. – Beiges and taupes are pervasive these days. Depressing. Make sure that you introduce energetic colors where you work and where you live. Surround yourself with the things you love. – Photos of loved ones or mementos that bring happy memories. You should have the stuff that you love all around you. Declutter. – You should have ONLY the stuff that you love. Purge everything in your life, both physical and emotional that you don’t honestly need, use or love. Everything else distracts you from your true intentions and bogs you down. Stop procrastinating. – Procrastination is a form of perfectionism. Accept that it’s not going to be perfect and just get it over with. Image how great it will feel to not have it hanging over your head any more! Listen to your inner voice. – Your instincts are good. It’s important to listen to your own head and heart. Cut yourself some slack. – Arguably the most important tip on this list. We hold ourselves to impossible standards and then beat ourselves up when we don’t meet them. Would you be this hard on anyone else? Slow down. – When you’re living your life at top speed, you’re missing most of it. Stop and take a breath. Look for ways to adopt a more humane pace. Identify your passion. – What do you love? Do you have a non-profit organization that you feel passionate about? Are you passionate about water polo? How about 14th century Portuguese literature? Find something in your life that really floats your boat. Toot your own horn. – You’re awesome. Please make sure that everyone knows it. Move your body. – Run and jump and climb a tree. Take a tap dancing class. Power walk. Anything that feels good that gets your blood moving. The only limitation: it has to be fun. Don’t get on a treadmill if you hate the treadmill. Invest in really good bras. – This one is gender-specific, obviously. You feel much better about yourself when you’re hoisted up properly. So stand tall and salute the sun ladies! Purge things that aren’t good for you. – Unhealthy foods, cigarettes, a miserable work environment, toxic people – do what you have to do to set boundaries and demand the highest quality of life. You deserve it. Things that don’t nourish and support you – think about how you might be rid of them. Limit your news consumption. – It’s important to be well-informed, but the non-stop feed of earthquakes and plane crashes and economic crisis and war is not good for us. Be deliberate in finding a balance that’s best for you. Once you’ve seen today’s news cycle, turn it off. Say yes to life. – Opportunities are everywhere. Take a class, join a team, go bungee jumping. When new things present themselves to you – jump at the chance. Stop hating your body. – If the women of the world took all of the time, energy and money that we spend on hating our bodies and turned it towards something productive, there would be no war, poverty or disease left on the planet. Your body is your body. Nobody’s looking at your physical flaws because they’re all too busy trying to hide their own. Let’s give ourselves a break and let it go. Sing loudly. – in the shower and the care and anywhere else you like. With reckless abandon. Be kind. – Being nice to someone else. You will have made the world a better place. What feels better than that? Tell someone you love them. – We often forget to say it out loud. It matters. Take all of your vacation days. – You earned them. Don’t give them back to your company for nothing. Play hooky. – Call in sick once in awhile when you’re not sick. Use the day to pamper yourself (not to catch up on errands or housework). Take pride in the hard times that you have overcome. – What didn’t kill you made you stronger. It wasn’t easy, but you did it! Let someone else be in charge for a while. – Other people can be responsible while you do something for yourself. Don’t answer the phone unless it’s someone you want to talk to right now. – Some people find it difficult not to answer a ringing phone, but it’s liberating once you learn to ignore it or even better, just turn it off. Have faith. – It’s going to work out. The future is bright! Take a personal inventory. – Does your behavior match your true intentions? If there’s a disconnect, you’re carrying a heavy weight. Go on a retreat. – For a couple of minutes or a couple of days, get away for a bit to re-energize. Put your finances in order. – Money problems are enormously stressful. Paying off debt where possible, putting bills on automatic payment, and working with a financial planner if necessary can all help to ease the strain. Eliminate all expectations of perfection. – In fact, eliminate the word ‘perfect’ from your vocabulary. If you expect yourself to be perfect, you will never stop beating yourself up. Find a good way to blow off steam. – Bottling it up indefinitely will probably end badly. Be who you are. – your authentic, true self. Spend some time alone for quiet reflection. – We spend all of our time go, go, going. Try stopping to think about your life, your goals, and your dreams. Keep your words positive. – Happiness and complaints cannot coexist. Let light and fresh air into your house. – Sunlight is a must. Open up those windows! Turn off your e-mail, cell phone, blackberry, fax, etc. for a while. – It’s not healthy to be accessible 24/7. Pare down your to-do list. – Feeling overwhelmed? What’s on your list that can be delegated, avoided, or jettisoned? Avoid boredom. – Keep your brain active to keep the blues at bay. Make your home a haven. – Your home should be a place where you can take a breath and really relax. If it isn’t, you may have some work to do. Be stingy with your time and energy. – Both are precious and should be spent on things that really matter to you. Let go. – 80% of everything is irrelevant. Focus on the other 20. Minimize multi-tasking. – Yeah, women are supposed to be good at it, but that doesn’t make it good for us. Break your routine once in awhile. – Get out of a rut and into a groove. Take action! – If something isn’t right in your life, fix it! Plan ahead. – With a few minutes of organizing your time and to-do’s, you will be better prepared to take on the day. Intentionally enjoy your journey. – As you go through your days, look around. Be present with what you see, hear and feel. You might be amazed at what you’ve been missing. Spend time with people who make you happy. – Who nourishes and supports you? Surround yourself with those people. Enjoy your kids. – It’s easy to rush through the day without really connecting with them. Make a conscious effort to talk with them about their day. Avoid self-deprivation. – When it comes to food, it’s OK to cut back on things that aren’t good for you (sweet, sweet carbohydrates), but if you feel deprived, it’s probably not maintainable, creating a vicious circle of cheating and guilt. Forget the word “shouldâ€. – Instead of doing what you think you’re supposed to, follow your own path. Pay attention to your energy. – Are you most productive first thing in the morning? Are you sluggish after lunch? Honor your natural cycles and plan accordingly. OK, that’s more than 100. I got carried away. ****************************** Fable of the Porcupine It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. They were covered and protected, but the quills of each wounded the closest companion. After a while, they decided to distance themselves, and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by their close relationships because the most important part was the heat that came from the others. They were able to survive. The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the one that forms when individuals learn to live with the imperfections and admire the good qualities of others. The Moral of the story: Learn to Live with some Pricks in Your Life. ****************************** THE CANNIBAL A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu....
+Tourist: $5.00 +Broiled Missionary: $10.00 +Fried Explorer: $15.00 +Baked LIBERAL, Grilled CONSERVATIVE OR SAUTEED NDP:$100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a high price for the Politicians?" The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a high price for the Politicians?" The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of shit, it takes all morning."
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
God's Grace I wonder how many people will delete this without reading it because of the title. It is a shame but this message is very true. Hope you are all as blessed as I was by this story. There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak. "I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, "What do you have there, son?"
"Just some old birds," came the reply.
"What are you going to do with them?" I asked. "Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time."
"But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do then?" "Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them." The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?" "Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!" "How much?" the pastor asked again. The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?" The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone. The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free. Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story: One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught a world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"
"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked. Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!" "And what will you do when you are done with them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!" "How much? He asked again. Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life." Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price. The pastor picked up the cage and walked from the pulpit. I pray for everyone who sends this on, whether to their entire address book or just a few, that God will bless them in a special way.
And for those that just deleted it......... and I KNOW there will be...... ? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? I thank God everyday for my blessed life. I'm not rich, don't live in a mansion and don't have the nicest of material things, but, I'm healthy, have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food on my table, a family that loves me and lifelong friends to get me through. I'd say I have a lot to be thankful for.
Tags: Religion
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Your success is the measure of My Will and Mind that you have revealed to those around you." -- GOD Our Daily Devotional: God Is... Psalm 144:1-2, NIV: "Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me." With every battle you face, with every trial you endure, within the midst of the most difficult times, God is... God is aware of what you are going through. God is able to understand how it affects you. God is there in the thick of it with you. God is... And because He is, He has provided you with what is needed to take you through. It is certain that you will face your personal giants along the way. But where God is, you have what you need to see beyond the giants; viewing them as miniscule in comparison to the God of all creation. Where God is, there is victory. You may be tired or feel ill-equipped to take on the giant, but God is there, and He is more than able to stand beside you and take you through your difficult time. It may not be His will to lead you away from the battle. It may not be time for you to rest. It may be time instead to more firmly hold your shield of faith, and sword of the truth, and to remember where you are, and to Whom you belong; and that the battle is, and forever shall be, the Lord's. Philippians 3:20 “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,†***************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: cosher KOSH-er , verb; 1.To treat with special fondness. Quotes: Skinny Guts was rarely known to shell out his money for tucker when there were clan members at hand to cosher himself upon. -- Miles Franklin, Ten Creeks Run: a tale of the horse and cattle stations of the Murrumbidgee "The poor Irish peasantry," writes Prendergast, "with a generosity characteristic of their race and country, never refused hospitality to the dispossessed owners, but maintained them as gentlemen; allowing them to cosher upon them, as the Irish called the giving their lord a certain number of days' board and lodging." -- John O'Hart, Irish pedigrees, or, The origin and stem of the Irish nation Origin: Cosher is a phonetic spelling of the Irish coisir, "feast, entertainment." **************************** CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.
THINGS TO PONDER: What happens when none of your bees wax? THINGS TO PONDER: Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? You might be a REDNECK if... ...you have a rag for a gas cap. You might be a REDNECK if... ...you're banned from the Memphis Zoo because you disturb the monkeys. "When life's problems seem overwhelming, look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself fortunate." - Ann Landers **************************************** I hope I shall always possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an "Honest Man."—George Washington. Henny Youngman "She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face."
Mark Twain "It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
Josh Billings "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself." **************************************** Burgers with French Onions Serves: 4 Edit Total Time: 20 min Prep Time: 15 min
Ingredients 1/3 cup(s) light mayonnaise 1/4 cup(s) loosely packed fresh parsley leaves, finely chopped 1 small clove garlic, crushed with press Salt Pepper 2 teaspoon(s) olive oil 1 medium (6- to 8-ounce) red onion, cut in half, thinly sliced 4 ounce(s) mushrooms, sliced 1/2 cup(s) water 1 teaspoon(s) sugar 1 1/4 pound(s) 85-percent lean ground beef 1 ounce(s) Gruyère cheese, shredded 4 brioche hamburger buns, toasted 4 leaves Boston lettuce Directions Prepare outdoor grill for covered direct grilling on medium. In small bowl, stir together mayonnaise, parsley, garlic, and 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper; set aside. In 12-inch skillet, heat oil on medium-high. Add onion; cook 3 to 4 minutes or until beginning to soften, stirring occasionally. Add mushrooms, water, sugar, and 1/4 teaspoon salt; cover and cook 5 to 6 minutes or until mushrooms are tender, stirring occasionally. Shape beef into four 3/4-inch-thick burgers. Lightly sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon each salt and freshly ground black pepper to season both sides. Grill burgers, covered, 7 minutes for medium or until desired doneness, turning over once. Top each burger with 1/4 cup onion mixture and 1 tablespoon cheese. Cover; cook 1 minute or until cheese has melted. Serve on buns with garlic mayonnaise and lettuce. **************************************** Ribs with Carolina Barbecue Sauce Serves: 8 Total Time: 2 hr Prep Time: 20 min Oven Temp: 350 Ingredients 3 tablespoon(s) paprika 1/2 teaspoon(s) cayenne (ground red) pepper 1/2 teaspoon(s) celery salt 1/2 teaspoon(s) dry mustard 1/2 teaspoon(s) ground cumin 1 tablespoon(s) packed brown sugar, for sauce 2 teaspoon(s) packed brown sugar, for dry rub Kosher salt Pepper 2 rack(s) (2 to 2 1/2 pounds each) St. Louis-style pork ribs 1 cup(s) boiling water 3/4 cup(s) cider vinegar 3 tablespoon(s) ketchup 1/2 teaspoon(s) crushed red pepper Directions Prepare dry rub: In bowl, combine paprika, cayenne, celery salt, mustard, cumin, 2 teaspoons brown sugar, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, and 2 teaspoons black pepper. In large roasting pan, place ribs side by side; rub with dry rub. Cover; refrigerate at least 1 hour or up to 1 day. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Uncover ribs and add boiling water to pan. Cover pan tightly with foil. Bake 1 hour 30 minutes or until tender. Uncover ribs. Meanwhile, prepare outdoor grill for direct grilling on medium-low. Prepare sauce: In bowl, stir vinegar, ketchup, red pepper, and remaining brown sugar. Grill ribs, bone side down, 5 minutes, brushing with sauce. Turn ribs over; grill 5 minutes, brushing with sauce. Repeat. **************************************** Chicken with Tex-Mex Salsa Serves: 4 Edit Total Time: 30 min Prep Time: 20 min Ingredients 1/2 cup(s) finely chopped white onion 1 jalapeño chile 3 clove(s) garlic, in skins 1 can(s) (14.5-ounce) fire-roasted and diced tomatoes, drained well 1/4 cup(s) packed fresh cilantro leaves, chopped 1 tablespoon(s) lime juice Salt Pepper 1 (3- to 3 1/2-pound) cut up chicken (8 pieces) Directions Prepare outdoor grill for covered direct grilling on medium. Prepare salsa: In small bowl, soak onion in cold water. Wrap jalapeño and garlic in foil. Grill 17 minutes or until vegetables are charred and blackened in spots. Cool. Remove stem, skin, and seeds from jalapeño. Peel garlic; chop. Transfer to food processor along with tomatoes, cilantro, lime juice, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Pulse until finely chopped. Drain onion and stir into mixture. Sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon each salt and freshly ground black pepper all over chicken. Place on grill, skin side down. Cover and cook 15 to 20 minutes or until juices run clear when chicken is pierced with tip of knife, turning over once. (Smaller pieces will cook more quickly.) Serve chicken with salsa. **************************************** Shrimp with Apple-Tomato Salad Serves: 4 Total Time: 30 min Prep Time: 25 min Ingredients 1/2 cup(s) packed fresh cilantro leaves 1/2 cup(s) reduced-fat sour cream 1/4 cup(s) light mayonnaise 4 tablespoon(s) fresh lemon juice 1 tablespoon(s) red wine vinegar Salt Pepper 1 pound(s) shelled, deveined shrimp (26- to 30-count) 1 tablespoon(s) extra-virgin olive oil 1 teaspoon(s) ground coriander 2 romaine lettuce hearts, chopped 1 pint(s) cherry tomatoes, cut in half 1 Granny Smith apple, cut into 1/4-inch sticks Directions If using bamboo skewers, soak skewers in water at least 30 minutes. Prepare outdoor grill for direct grilling on medium-high. In blender, puree cilantro, sour cream, mayonnaise, 2 tablespoons lemon juice, vinegar, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper; set dressing aside. In large bowl, combine shrimp, oil, coriander, remaining 2 tablespoons lemon juice, 1/8 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, tossing until well coated. Thread shrimp, 1/2 inch apart, on skewers. Grill 3 to 4 minutes or until shrimp just turn opaque, turning over once. Transfer to plate. In another large bowl, toss lettuce with half of dressing until well coated. Divide among 4 serving plates. In same bowl, toss tomatoes and apple with half of remaining dressing until well coated; place on lettuce with shrimp. Drizzle with remaining dressing. **************************************** Eggplant Rounds Prep Time: 5 Min Cook Time: 10 Min Ready In: 15 Min Servings 6 Ingredients 1/2 cup cornmeal 1/2 teaspoon chili powder 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano salt to taste 1 eggplant, sliced into 1/2 inch rounds 1 quart vegetable oil for frying Directions In a shallow dish, combine corn meal, chili powder, oregano and salt. Dredge each eggplant slice in this mixture until coated on both the sides. Shake off excess. Heat a small layer of oil in a large skillet. When the oil is hot arrange a layer of the the eggplant rounds in the oil and fry uncovered for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip the rounds over fry until golden brown. Continue adding oil and frying the rounds until they are all fried. Serve either hot or cold. Footnotes Editor's Note We have determined the nutritional value of oil for frying based on a retention value of 10% after cooking. The exact amount may vary depending on cook time and temperature, ingredient density, and the specific type of oil used. Nutritional Information Amount Per Serving Calories: 196 | Total Fat: 15.1g | Cholesterol: 0mg ****************************** Eggplant Mixed Grill Prep Time: 15 Min Cook Time: 12 Min Ready In: 2 Hrs 30 Min Yield 6 servings
Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley 2 tablespoons chopped fresh oregano 2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 6 cloves garlic, minced 1 red onion, cut into wedges 18 spears fresh asparagus, trimmed 12 crimini mushrooms, stems removed 1 (1 pound) eggplant, sliced into 1/4 inch rounds 1 red bell pepper, cut into wedges 1 yellow bell pepper, cut into wedges Directions In a large resealable plastic bag, mix the olive oil, parsley, oregano, basil, vinegar, kosher salt, pepper, and garlic. Place the onion, asparagus, mushrooms, eggplant, red bell pepper, and yellow bell pepper into the bag. Seal, and marinate 2 hours in the refrigerator, turning occasionally Preheat the grill for high heat. Lightly oil the grill grate. Grill the vegetables 6 minutes on each side, until tender. Amount Per Serving Calories: 107 | Total Fat: 4.9g | Cholesterol: 0mg **************************************** They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a paper where it said: "Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am." The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock. Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying: "Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!" **************************************** An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area." "Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!" **************************************** A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: "CZWIXMMOSTACZ." "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied. "I know the guy." **************************************** The new clergyman was coming to call, and the mother gave Emma some instructions: "If he asks your name, say Emma Jane; if he asks how old you are, say you are eight years old; if he asks who made you, say God made me." It is a fact that the clergyman did ask just those three questions in that order, to the first two of which Emma replied correctly. But it is also a fact that when the minister propounded the third query, as to her origin, the child hesitated, and then said: "Mama did tell me the man's name, but I've gone and forgotten it." **************************************** The usual details in administration of the pension laws are not amusing, but occasionally even here a bit of humor creeps in to relieve the tedium. Thus, John Smith, claimant under Invalid Original No. 98,325,423, based his application for succor upon an "injury to leg due to the kick of a vicious horse" in the service and line of duty, etc. This was formally insufficient, and the bureau advised to claimant to this effect, directing him to state: "which leg was injured by the alleged kick of a vicious horse." The reply came promptly: "My leg!" **************************************** "Yes, I quarreled with my wife about nothing." "Why don't you make up?" "I'm going to. All I'm worried about now is the indemnity." **************************************** How do you tell the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at the mental hospital? The patients are the ones that eventually get better and go home! ************************* God On Lawn Care GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now.. But, all I see are these green rectangles. ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there? ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it -sometimes twice a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay? ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST.. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir. GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life. ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away. GOD: No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST. CATHERINE: 'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about.... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis. Friends are like quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
THIS IS A NON PARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY All PARTIES! NOT ONLY THAT-- it is POLITICALLY CORRECT!!
While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St.. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.....
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St.. Peter is waiting for him.
'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. ' I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? '
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, ' Yesterday we were campaigning.....
Today you voted. ***************************** RABBY OLD MAN (THIS APPLIES TO OLD WOMEN TOO)!! When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Moosomin , Saskatchewan, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Alberta .
The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
What do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you see? What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me? A crabby old man . .. . .. . not very wise, Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply. When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!' Who seems not to notice .. .. . .. . the things that you do. And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not .. . . . . lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill? Is that what you're thinking? . .. . . . Is that what you see? Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me..
I'll tell you who I am. . . .. . . As I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will. I'm a small child of Ten . . .. . . with a father and mother, Brothers and sisters . . . . .. who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet. Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet. A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap. Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . .. . . I have young of my own. Who need me to guide . . . . .. And a secure happy home. A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast, Bound to each other . . . .. . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . . . . have grown and are gone, But my woman's beside me . . . .. . to see I don't mourn. At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee, Again, we know children . . . . .. My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead. I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread. For my young are all rearing . .. . . . young of their own. And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . .. and nature is cruel. 'Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool. The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart. There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells, And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells. I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain. And I'm loving and living . . . .. . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . .. . . . gone too fast. And accept the stark fact . . .. . that nothing can last. So open your eyes, people .. . ... . . open and see. Not a crabby old man . .. . Look closer . . . see ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.
We will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.
*****************************
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD: Matthew 9:27-30
(27) When Jesus departed from there, two blind men followed Him, crying out and saying, "Son of David, have mercy on us!" (28) And when He had come into the house, the blind men came to Him. And Jesus said to them, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" They said to Him, "Yes, Lord." (29) Then He touched their eyes, saying, "According to your faith let it be to you." (30) And their eyes were opened. And Jesus sternly warned them, saying, "See that no one knows it. " In this healing miracle, Jesus Christ heals two blind men in Capernaum, probably in Peter's house (Matthew 9:27-31). Peter saw Jesus work several miracles in his house: the healing of his mother-in-law, the healing of the paralytic who was let down through the roof to come before Him, and this restoration of sight to the blind men. Blindness seems to have been a more common problem in biblical times than today. Afflictions in those times were worse because people lived under poorer conditions and had limited access to medical care, if any was available at all. Nevertheless, these people had hope, for Isaiah 35:5 prophesies of the Messiah and His work: "Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped." This prophecy has a physical and a spiritual fulfillment. When Christ came to earth in the flesh, He healed many physically blind people. More importantly, though, He brought spiritual healing to many by opening their minds to see principles that lead to spiritual life. Blindness is an appropriate description of sin's effect. For example, a prophecy in Zephaniah 1:17 says, "I will bring distress upon men, and they shall walk like blind men, because they have sinned against the LORD." Sin causes people to grope spiritually at noon just as the blind grope in darkness (Deuteronomy 28:29). Sin puts us in darkness as blindness does, but spiritual darkness is a far worse darkness than its physical counterpart. Spiritual blindness has only one remedy: Jesus Christ dwelling in us by the power of the Holy Spirit. In this healing of the two blind men, Jesus was physically before them, but for Christians, He is spiritually and personally available to us through the indwelling of His Spirit (John 14:20-23).
Luke 11:13 “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!â€â€
******************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
roué: • roo-AY • noun : a man devoted to a life of sensual pleasure : rake
Examples: "So when maidenhood has wandered into the moil of the city, when it is brought within the circle of the 'rounder' and the roué:, even though it be at the outermost rim, they can come forth and use their alluring arts." -- From Theodore Dreiser's 1900 novel Sister Carrie
"Girls run off with bad boys all the time, always have and always will. But in the past, when deemed press-worthy, he was likely a notorious roué: or dangerous musician, not a dropout trying to muster enough gumption for a GED." -- From an article by Bridget Foley in Women's Wear Daily, July 16, 2010
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How Many Dogs are Enough Tip
A common question we get is how many dogs are too many? The answer is not a simple one and really depends on how much time and space you have as well as the personality of the individual dogs. Some dogs are more gregarious than others and some dogs really are happiest when they are the only dog in the house. Adding a dog to an existing household of dogs can sometimes be tricky. It requires trial meetings on neutral territory to establish the dogs' tolerance of each other before throwing the unsuspecting pair together permanently. Where even greater numbers of dogs are involved, pack dynamics must be considered. Naturally, the dogs' temperaments must be considered, but age and seniority – basically who was there first – are also important factors. In fact, the best way to start out may be to favor the original resident over the newcomer, and the elder dog over the younger dog. This "senior support program" may have to be reversed to a "junior support program" if after four to six weeks hostilities persist or are escalating. When several dogs share the same close quarters with each other, there is often some occasional inter-dog aggravation. This may sound worse than it is, with much growling and posturing over some issue important to the dogs. This is normal dog behavior that is best ignored. Let dogs be dogs – unless there are serious biting incidents (not just a nicked ear) or biting lower than the neck (e.g. on the abdomen). In this case, you will have to work hard to establish the true leader and support that dog's position over the usurper. It is probably true that as the number of dogs in a household increases the incidence of behavior problems also increases. Let's face it, the larger the pack the more complicated the social dynamics and the more diluted the owner's attention. But how large a pack is too large? If one dog is fine, two's company, and a small group of four to six dogs (natural pack size) is manageable with care and knowledge, what about 25 dogs?
The Envelope, Please
Having more than six to eight dogs as pets does seem excessive, unless you are a breeder or are involved in some canine enterprise that requires you to own many dogs, like foxhounds that you use for hunting. Owning large numbers of dogs means that individual dogs do not receive the same level of attention they would if they were part of a smaller unit. The relationship of human and dog changes, becoming less personal, and the dogs themselves become less pet-like and more pack-like. While there is nothing wrong with this altered dynamic, it is in a direction away from what is normally understood as pet ownership. In general, this is a move away from close human-companion animal bonds, and indicates a more perfunctory type of relationship. Some folk take the acquisition and mass ownership of dogs a stage further in the name of humanity. They often surround themselves with scores of dogs that live in cages like battery hens and/or run rampant around the home, soiling the place and creating an unhealthful existence for both human and dog. In extreme cases, dogs in these situations are not fed or cared for properly and end up emaciated and sick. People who foster such situations, known as animal collectors or hoarders, may be psychologically unwell and don't appreciate the inhumanity of what they are doing. They may even have a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder and should seek help – though they usually don't. One thing is for sure, how many dogs you can humanely care for depends on your availability, energy and resources. For most people, owning one or two dogs is a full time job, but some may be able to balance upward of four to six dogs. Anything above this number requires a special kind of person with special circumstances if each animal is to receive the kind of attention he should receive as a pet.
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Vodka Grasshopper drink
Ingredients to use:
0.75 oz White Creme de Cacao 0.75 oz Green Creme de Menthe 0.75 oz Vodka
Directions:
Fill a shaker half full with ice cubes. Pour all ingredients into shaker and shake well. Strain drink into a Cocktail Glass.
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How to Roast Peppers
Mexican food cooking cooking techniques grilling healthy eating how to oils peppers red peppers roasted peppers Roasted peppers are a great way to bring out flavor and add unique flavors to many different dishes. Peppers, either sweet or hot, can be roasted in a variety of ways. Once they are roasted they can be added to salads, casseroles, sandwiches, and much more. Let's first look at two different ways to roast peppers.
Roasting
One way to roast peppers is to take a baking sheet, and using a pastry brush, coat your peppers with vegetable oil. It is important to note that you should not use Olive Oil for this technique because the Olive Oil has a high smoke point and therefore will not help the peppers in the roasting process. Be sure, as you are brushing the vegetable oil on, that you get the oil into the folds and crevices of each pepper.
Place your pepper(s) on the baking sheet and put the baking sheet into the oven at the highest shelf level possible. Then, you are going to broil them under the broiler. Keep a careful eye on the peppers and as they start to brown and roast, you need to gently turn them using tongs (they are hot!) and roast again until all sides are browned/blackened.
Another technique for roasting is to do this on a grill. When you are ready, you'll prepare the peppers the same way as above by brushing them with vegetable oil. Then, you grill them and turn them as they are done so as not to burn them. Don't be afraid to turn the grill down. A medium to low heat will help you to roast or grill the peppers slowly so as not to burn them. Preparation
Once your peppers are roasted, allow them to cool for about 20 minutes. When you can easily handle them, pull the stems out of the peppers. The stems should come out very easily. Next, lay the peppers on a flat surface like a cutting board and hold down one end of the pepper. You will now peel the peppers noting that the skins should come off fairly easy.
Using your index finger and thumb, hold the pepper in one hand and squeeze the pepper downward using the other hand. This will force the seeds and pulp inside to slide out the bottom. It's like using the end of the toothpaste and getting every last drop. Slice open your peppers and check to see if any membrane or seed remains; you can gently use the knife to remove these. Your peppers are now ready to use.
Usage
Now you have roasted peppers to use in a variety of dishes. If you cook Mexican style foods, these peppers will really add texture and flavor to many of these dishes. You can also toss them into a fresh crisp salad, or blend them into a casserole or stew. Your possibilities are limitless; you are only limited by your imagination.
You can store these roasted peppers for up to a week in the refrigerator in a container. This cook's recommendation is that you only roast enough peppers to use in one day. Since they are so easy to roast, it's better to roast them and use them rather than keep them for any length of time. Happy roasting!
************************************* Zucchini Walnut Bread
"A delicious, moist, bread which may be glazed with confectioners' sugar, even better after frozen."
Original Recipe Yield 2 loaves Ingredients
1 cup chopped walnuts 4 eggs 2 cups white sugar 1 cup vegetable oil 3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda 1 1/2 teaspoons salt 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 3/4 teaspoon baking powder 2 cups grated zucchini 1 cup raisins 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions
Whisk together flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and baking powder. In a large bowl, beat the eggs. Gradually beat in sugar, then oil. Add flour mixture alternately with zucchini into the egg mixture. Stir in the raisins, walnuts, and vanilla. Pour batter into two 9 x 5 inch greased and lightly floured loaf pans. Bake on lowest rack of the oven at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 55 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes in the pan, then turn out onto racks to cool completely. To freeze, wrap loaves in plastic wrap, and then wrap in heavy freezer paper. Will keep indefinitely.
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Mom's Zucchini Bread
"Really, really good and moist- my kids eat it as quickly as I can make it. Bread will freeze well, and keep in refrigerator for weeks."
Prep Time: 20 Min Cook Time: 1 Hr Ready In: 1 Hr 40 Min
Servings (Help) US Metric Calculate
Original Recipe Yield 2 loaves Ingredients
3 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon baking powder 3 teaspoons ground cinnamon 3 eggs 1 cup vegetable oil 2 1/4 cups white sugar 3 teaspoons vanilla extract 2 cups grated zucchini 1 cup chopped walnuts
Directions
Grease and flour two 8 x 4 inch pans. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Sift flour, salt, baking powder, soda, and cinnamon together in a bowl. Beat eggs, oil, vanilla, and sugar together in a large bowl. Add sifted ingredients to the creamed mixture, and beat well. Stir in zucchini and nuts until well combined. Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake for 40 to 60 minutes, or until tester inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pan on rack for 20 minutes. Remove bread from pan, and completely cool.
**************************** Hot Chili Macaroni
Makes 4 servings
The heat is on with this chili macaroni. Prepared with plenty of spice, there's nothing normal about this fiery favorite. Enjoy a taste bud tickling twist on this traditional favorite. Be sure you have a cold drink close by.
Ingredients 1 tbsp. corn oil 1/4 cup diced red bell pepper 1/2 cup sweet corn kernels 1/4 cup diced red onion 2 tbsp. finely chopped garlic 2 cups cooked macaroni (1 cup dry) 6 Green chilies, roasted, seeded, peeled and pureed (about 3/4 cup) 2/3 cup grated hot pepper Jack cheese 1/2 cup heavy cream Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Methods/steps In a large saucepan, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the red bell pepper, corn, onion, and garlic; sauté until the vegetables are softened, about 5 minutes. Add the macaroni, Green chilies puree, and cheese; stir until well blended. Fold in heavy cream, season with salt and pepper to taste and serve immediately.
Additional Tips Ready in 25 min
****************************** Windex Tip
I have checked ' snopes.com ' to see if this actually works
If you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked,
You should sniff some Windex first.
It'll keep you from streaking.
****************************** Errors Not Rectified
On Thursday, 24th January 2002 , Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW, Australia) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and threw that one away too. The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating that they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0..00 by return mail. He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it. The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament. However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off. He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake, he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out. The next month he got a bill for $0.00. This bill also stated that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt. Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the gas company at their own game and mailed them a cheque for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the gas company nothing at all. A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing writing a cheque for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank manager replied that the $0.00 cheque had caused their cheque processing software to fail. The bank could therefore not process ANY cheques they had received from ANY of Their customers that day because the cheque for $0.00 had caused the computer to crash. The following month the man received a letter from the gas company claiming that his cheque had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a cheque by return mail they would take immediate steps to recover the debt. At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against the gas company. It took him nearly two hours to convince the clerks at the local courthouse that he was not joking. They subsequently helped him in the drafting of statements which were considered substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he had been forced to endure during this debacle. The matter was heard in the Magistrate's Court in Mudgee and the outcome was this: The gas company was ordered to: [1] Immediately rectify their computerised accounts system or Show Cause, within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher Court for consideration under Company Law. [2] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by the man. [3] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by all the Westpac clients whose cheques had been bounced on the day our friend's had been processed. [4] Pay the claimant's court costs; and [5] Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had caused their client to suffer. And all this over $0.00. This true story can also be viewed on the ABC website.
****************************** Afraid? An Arizona Department of Safety Officer pulled over a pick-up truck owner for a faulty taillight. When the officer approached the driver, the man behind the wheel handed the officer his driver’s license, insurance card and a concealed weapon carry permit. The officer took all the documents, looked them over and said. "Mr.Smith, I see you have a CCP. Do you have any weapons with you?" The driver replied, " Yes sir, I have a 357 handgun in a hip holster, a .45 in the glove box and a .22 derringer in my boot." The officer looked at the driver and asked, "Anything else?" "Yes sir, I have a Mossberg 500 12 gauge and an AR-15 behind the seat." The officer asked if the man was driving to or from a shooting range and the man said he wasn't, so the officer bent over and looked into the driver's face and said "Mr. Smith, you're carrying quite a few guns. May I ask what you are afraid of? Mr. Smith locked eyes with the officer and calmly answered, "Not a f**king thing!"
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Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
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