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A Few More Things To Ponder About...
1. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide is that considered a hostage situation?
2. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
3. Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
4. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
5. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
6. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
7. I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
8. So what's the speed of dark?
9. War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
10. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
11. Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
12. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
13. I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
14. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
15. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
16. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
17. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
19. Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
20. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
21. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
22. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
23. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
24. Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is weak?
25. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
26. Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
27. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
28. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
29. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
30. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
31. What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
32. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
33. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
34. When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!
35. Do fish get cramps after eating?
36. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
37. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
38. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
39. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
40. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
41. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
42. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
43. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a chair at him?
44. If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
45. Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
46. Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
47. Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer?
48. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
49. Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
50. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
51. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
52. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Tags: joke
REMINDERS FROM GOD: Joshua 24:15 “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.†If Jesus Came to Your House "Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord."1 "If Jesus came to your house to spend a day or two, If He came unexpectedly, I wonder what you'd do. Oh, I know you'd give your nicest Room to such an honored Guest, And all the food you'd serve to Him would be the very best, And you would keep assuring Him you're glad to have Him there—That serving Him in your home is joy beyond compare. But when you saw Him coming would you meet Him at the door, With arms outstretched in welcome to your Heavenly Visitor? Or would you have to change your clothes before you let Him in, Or hide some magazines and put the Bibles where they'd been? Would you turn off the radio and hope He hadn't heard, And wish you hadn't uttered that last, loud, hasty word? Would you hide your worldly music and put some hymn books out? Could you let Jesus walk right in, or would you rush about? And I wonder … if the Savior spent a day or two with you, Would you go right on doing the things you always do? Would you keep right on saying the things you always say? Would life for you continue as it does from day to day? Would your family conversation keep up its usual pace, And would you find it hard each meal to say a table grace? Would you sing the songs you always sing and read the books you read, And let Him know the things on which your mind and spirit feed? Would you take Jesus with you everywhere you'd planned to go? Or would you maybe change your plans for just a day or so? Would you be glad to have Him meet your very closest friends, Or would you hope they'd stay away until His visit ends? Would you be glad to have Him stay forever on and on, Or would you sigh with great relief when He at last was gone? It might be interesting to know the things that you would do If Jesus came in person to spend some time with you." – Author Unknown Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to become more and more Like Jesus in every way so that my life, and the way I live, will always reflect his glory. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." *************************** WORD FOR THE DAY: fossick • FAH-sik • verb 1 a : to search about : rummage b : to search for by or as if by rummaging : ferret out Example sentence: As teenagers, the twins spent many summer afternoons fossicking for opals in the old mine. "Meanwhile that little dog of ours, whose pedigree goes back some 400 years, is out the front fossicking round on the lawn and in the garden, following scents, sniffing at new growth, chasing birds (and flies), barking at cats or watching the world go by from the front doorstep." -- From an article by Garth George in The New Zealand Herald, October 7, 2010 **************************** QUOTES: "I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful. "- Marilyn Monroe
H. L. Mencken - "The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."
Benjamin Franklin - "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."
Victor Hugo - "Fashions have done more harm than revolutions." **************************** Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling his story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though. –Jack Handey **************************** "What a homely woman!" "Sir, that is my wife. I'll have you understand it is a woman's privilege to be homely." "Gee, then she abused the privilege." **************************** The very youthful son of a henpecked father was in a gloomy mood, rebellious against the conditions of his life. He announced a desperate purpose: "I'm going to get married. I'm bossed by pa an ma, an' teacher, an' I ain't going to stan' for it. I'm going to get married right smack off. A married man ain't bossed by nobody 'cept his wife." **************************** I wish that my room had a floor; I don't so much care for a door; But this crawling around Without touching the ground Is getting to be quite a bore. *************************** With five kids at home and one more on the way, I wasn't quite sure what to think when I was assigned the following password for my computer at work: "iud4u." ************************** The investment management firm where I worked had just moved into new offices, and the place was overflowing with gifts of large plants, mostly huge Boston ferns. Amid this jungle, I was showing off underwater photographs of sea life from a recent scuba-diving trip. Just then a senior member of the firm looked over my shoulder and asked, "Are those anemones?" "Of course not," I replied. Then, pointing to the plants around us, I quipped, "With ferns like these, who needs anemones?" **************************** Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. "Eight dollars," I answered. "And for a shave?" "Five dollars." "All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head." **************************** A man walks into a palm reader store and asks the reader, "Could you read my palm?" He shows his hand to her, and she says, "But...I can't read your hand." "Why?" the man asks. "I don't understand your handwriting," the woman replies. *************************** The young mother asked the man who supplied her with milk if he kept any calves, and smiled pleasedly when he said that he did. "Then," she continued brightly, "bring me a pint of calf's milk every day. I think cow's milk is too strong for baby." **************************** At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and the charge." The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician, charged with battery." The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!" **************************** PARROT TIPS : Dangerous Air Borne Contaminates Our parrot’s respiratory systems are entirely unlike our own or that of other mammals. It is unique in design and far more efficient. Because of this fact, their sensitivity to pollutants in the air is heightened and can cause them suffering and death long before we would ourselves be affected. We have all heard the stories about the canaries used in coal mines back in the day. Miners would place a cage of canaries in the mines. This was to determine if there were emissions of natural gases, which are odorless, present in that shaft. If they returned and the canaries were dead, they knew that they would soon fall victim as well. While a bird has slower respiration than that of mammals of similar size, it takes two inhalations to complete one respiratory cycle, which in a toxic situation puts them doubly at risk as illustrated above. Whenever you smell an odor, it is because there are particulates wafting through the air. Some, of course, are harmful while others are not. There is a quick and easy test you can do to see how heavy the particulates are in your house at certain times. Simply turn off your lights and turn on a flashlight. Whatever is in the air, whether it be smoke or dust particles, will be visible. The following list, while incomplete, is of the hazards you should be most aware of: Teflon/non-stick cookware: Please read this article. This cookware kills so many birds that manufacturers have just now starting issuing warnings. Teflon coatings exist in the strangest places: hair dryers, irons, portable heaters, and interior oven and toaster oven surfaces. The self cleaning feature on your oven utilizes non stick coatings. Don’t use it! Be very sure to contact manufacturers before buying a product, particularly if there is heat involved. Carbon monoxide: This is emitted by many common appliances in our homes, but usually to small degrees. Carbon monoxide detectors are cheap, and essential. The fumes emitted from vehicles in a closed area recently took the life of Fiji, the Womach’s beloved toucan. Smoke/incense: Problems are usually a result of poorly ventilated fireplaces and wood burning stoves. If you have concerns about ventilation, use the flashlight test. Though incense throws a smaller amount of smoke into the air, it is thick and it is smoke. Cigarette smoke: This article tells the whole story of the dangers of second hand smoke. Cooking smoke: Burning oil and foods will throw a dangerous amount of smoke into the air. Aerosol/pump sprays: Many people are aware of the dangers of aerosol sprays, but for some reason think regular pump action sprays are safe. This is not true. Aerosols are thrown into the air in a fine mist. The particulates are smaller, but spread farther because of the force of the compression in the can. The particulates coming from a pump bottle don’t travel as far, but are larger in size. Both are hazardous. Hair products are of particular concern, as are cleaning products and oven cleaners. Febreze killed yet another bird recently as reported by a friend. Just because something smells pleasant, doesn’t mean it’s safe. Fuel burning products: Keep anything that burns fuel to operate or generate heat or light, or any other purpose it serves, far, far away from your birds. The oily smoke they emit is deadly. They also emit carbon monoxide in dangerous amounts as the fuel burns low. Scented candles: These are oil based candles and emit toxic fumes just like a fuel burning product. Ozone emitting air purifiers: While ozone is great for disintegrating air borne chemicals, it is dangerous with continual use for your birds and family. I had two Sharper Image Ionic Breezes that I had to toss out several years ago when this information became known. Powders: This is not something you typically think of as air borne, but powdered cleaning products, such as products you sprinkle on your carpet, allows chemical particulates to enter the air. They are also dangerous for a bird to walk around on. Your bird’s air space should be pristine. I promise you don’t want to experience the horror of watching your bird die from this easily avoided kind of toxicity. In most cases it is gruesome. Please speak up if you have something to add to this list and be sure to post your experiences so that we may all learn from them. That is what this blog is for. **************************** CHILI SPAGHETTI Prep Time 30 mins Total Time 30 mins Makes 4 servings 12 oz. uncooked spaghetti or vermicelli 1 lb. lean ground beef 1 medium onion, chopped (1/2 cup) 1 (15-oz.) can spicy chili beans, undrained 1 (14 1/2-oz.) can diced tomatoes with green chiles, undrained 1 (8-oz.) can tomato sauce 1 teaspoon chili powder 1/2 teaspoon cumin 2 oz. (1/2 cup) finely shredded Cheddar cheese 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro, if desired Cook spaghetti to desired doneness as directed on package. Drain; cover to keep warm. Meanwhile, in large skillet, cook ground beef and onion over medium-high heat until beef is thoroughly cooked, stirring frequently. Drain. Add chili beans, tomatoes, tomato sauce, chili powder and cumin; mix well. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low; cook 10 to 15 minutes or until sauce is of desired consistency, stirring occasionally. Serve sauce over spaghetti. Sprinkle with cheese and cilantro. Recipe Fact This spaghetti is inspired by the famous Cincinnati chili, which consists of chili served over pasta. Ingredient Substitutions For spicier spaghetti, use chorizo sausage for part of all of the ground beef. One 14.5-ounce can diced tomatoes plus 2 tablespoons of canned diced green chiles can be used in place of the can of diced tomatoes with green chiles. Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Serving)Calories 705(Calories from Fat 205),Total Fat 23g(Saturated Fat 10g,Cholesterol 80mg;Sodium 1880mg;Total Carbohydrate 99g(Dietary Fiber 9g,Sugars 14g),Protein 43g;Percent Daily Value*:Calcium ;Exchanges:6 Starch;6 Other Carbohydrate;1 Vegetable;1 Fat;Carbohydrate Choices:6 1/2;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. **************************** Alpine Mushroom Pasta 6 servings, about 1 1/3 cups each Active Time: 35 minutes Total Time: 35 minutes Ingredients 8 ounces whole-wheat fettuccine 6 cups shredded Savoy cabbage, (about 1 small head) 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil 4 medium portobello mushroom caps, gills removed, thinly sliced 1 small onion, chopped 3 cloves garlic, minced 3/4 cup dry white wine 2 teaspoons all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 1 cup grape tomatoes, halved 1 cup diced smoked cheese, such as smoked mozzarella, Cheddar or gouda 2 teaspoons chopped fresh sage, or 3/4 teaspoon dried
Preparation Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Cook pasta for 4 minutes. Add cabbage and continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until the pasta and cabbage are tender, about 4 minutes more. Reserve 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid and drain the pasta and cabbage. Meanwhile, heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add mushrooms, onion and garlic and cook, stirring often, until the mushrooms are tender and beginning to release their liquid, about 5 minutes. Whisk wine and flour in a small bowl. Add to the pan along with salt and pepper; cook, stirring, until the mixture thickens, about 1 minute. Add tomatoes and cook until just beginning to break down, about 1 minute more. Return the pasta and cabbage to the pot. Add the mushroom sauce, the reserved cooking liquid, cheese and sage; gently toss to combine. Nutrition Per serving: 278 calories; 7 g fat (3 g sat, 3 g mono); 15 mg cholesterol; 40 g carbohydrates; 13 g protein; 8 g fiber; 536 mg sodium; 633 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (45% daily value), Vitamin A (20% dv), Potassium (18% dv), Calcium & Iron (15% dv). 2 Carbohydrate Serving Exchanges: 2 starch, 1 vegetable, 1/2 medium-fat meat **************************** Cajun Smothered Pork Chops Prep Time 15 Minutes Total Time 15 Minutes Makes 4 servings
4 bone-in pork loin chops, 1/2 inch thick (about 1 lb), trimmed of fat 2 teaspoons salt-free extra-spicy seasoning blend 2 teaspoons vegetable oil 1/2 medium onion, sliced 1 can (14.5 oz) zesty diced tomatoes with jalapeño peppers, undrained Sprinkle both sides of pork chops with seasoning blend. In 12-inch nonstick skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add onion; cook about 2 minutes, stirring occasionally, until slightly tender. Push onion to one side of skillet. Add pork to other side of skillet. Cook about 3 minutes, turning once, until browned. Add tomatoes. Heat to boiling; reduce heat. Cover; cook 4 to 8 minutes or until pork is no longer pink in center. Variation For a less spicy dish, use plain diced tomatoes instead of the diced tomatoes with jalapeño peppers. Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Serving)Calories 180(Calories from Fat 80),Total Fat 8g(Saturated Fat 2 1/2g,Trans Fat 0g),Cholesterol 50mg;Sodium 330mg;Total Carbohydrate 6g(Dietary Fiber 2g,Sugars 5g),Protein 19g;Percent Daily Value*:Calcium ;Exchanges:0 Starch;0 Fruit;0 Other Carbohydrate;0 Skim Milk;0 Low-Fat Milk;0 Milk;1 Vegetable;0 Very Lean Meat;2 1/2 Lean Meat;0 High-Fat Meat;0 Fat;Carbohydrate Choices:1/2;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. **************************** Southwest Cheese Soup Prep Time 20 Minutes Total Time 20 Minutes Makes 4 servings
1 package (1 lb) pasteurized prepared cheese product loaf, cut into cubes 1 can (15.25 oz) Green Giant whole kernel corn, drained 1 can (15 oz) Progresso black beans, drained, rinsed 1 can (10 oz) diced tomatoes with green chiles, undrained 1 cup milk Fresh cilantro sprigs, if desired
In 4-quart Dutch oven, mix all ingredients except cilantro. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring frequently, until cheese is melted and soup is hot. Garnish each serving with cilantro. Serve-With Serve this cheesy soup with a mixed-greens salad and crusty rolls.
Nutrition Information: 1 Serving (1 Serving)Calories 610(Calories from Fat 250),Total Fat 28g(Saturated Fat 17g,Trans Fat 1/2g),Cholesterol 95mg;Sodium 2210mg;Total Carbohydrate 59g(Dietary Fiber 12g,Sugars 20g),Protein 31g;Percent Daily Value*:Calcium ;Exchanges:3 1/2 Starch;0 Fruit;0 Other Carbohydrate;0 Skim Milk;0 Low-Fat Milk;0 Milk;1 Vegetable;0 Very Lean Meat;0 Lean Meat;3 High-Fat Meat;0 Fat;Carbohydrate Choices:4;*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. **************************** King Ranch Casserole Active Time: 30 Minutes Total Time: 1 Hour Yield: 6 servings
Chicken layered with a spicy sauce and cheese--popular in Texas and now made more healthful for Tex-Mex lovers everywhere. INGREDIENTS 1 1/2 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth 1 cup skim milk 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 cup nonfat plain yogurt 1 14-ounce can diced tomatoes, drained 1 4-ounce can chopped green chilies, drained 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro or parsley 1 tablespoon chili powder 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin salt & freshly ground pepper to taste 1 1/2 teaspoons canola oil 1 large onion, chopped 1 red or green bell pepper, seeded and diced 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 cups diced skinless cooked chicken 10 corn tortillas, cut in quarters 1/2 cup shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Bring chicken broth to a simmer in a medium saucepan. Whisk together milk and flour in a small bowl to make a smooth paste. Add to the broth and cook over medium, whisking constantly, until thickened and smooth, about 3 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in yogurt, tomatoes, chilies, cilantro (or parsley), chili powder, oregano and cumin. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Set aside. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, bell pepper and garlic; cook, stirring occasionally, until tender-crisp, about 3 minutes. Line the bottom of a shallow 3-qt. baking dish with half the tortillas. Top with half of the chicken and half of the onion mixture. Spoon half of the sauce evenly over the top. Repeat layers with remaining tortillas, chicken, onion mixture and sauce. Sprinkle with cheese and bake until bubbly, 25 to 30 minutes. **************************** Apple Dumplings
Ingredients:
2 to 2 1/2 cup flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 3/4 cup shortening 1/2 cup milk 4 to 6 Granny Smith or other cooking apples, cored, peeled, and sliced sugar, approximately 1/2 cup, for sprinkling apples cinnamon nutmeg butter, cut in small pieces . Syrup: 2 cups sugar 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg 2 cups hot water 1/4 cup margarine melted heavy cream or ice cream, optional
Preparation: Combine flour, baking powder and salt; cut in shortening until mixture resembles coarse meal. Gradually add milk, stirring to make a soft dough. Roll dough into a 1/8" thick rectangle on a lightly floured surface; cut into 5-inch squares. Place 3 or 4 pieces of apple on each square. Sprinkle each with 2 teaspoons sugar and a sprinkling cinnamon and nutmeg to taste; dot with butter. Moisten edges of each dumpling with water; bring corners to center, pinching edges to seal. Place dumplings 1 inch apart in a lightly greased shallow baking dish. Combine 2 cups sugar, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg, 2 cups hot water and 1/4 cup butter or margarine; stir to dissolve sugar. Pour syrup over dumplings. Bake at 375° for 35 to 45 minutes, or until golden brown. Serve hot with cream or ice cream.
Makes about 1 dozen apple dumplings.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Stay away from the love of money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never forsake you. Hebrews 13:5
Our Daily Devotional:
On Their Behalf
1 Timothy 2:1, NIV: "I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone."
What is the best time of day to pray? The Bible instructs us to pray without ceasing. How we do so is basically by keeping an attitude of prayer throughout our day--we pray, as we go. There are also those times we pause to enter into our prayer closet--so to speak--and lift of our praises, petitions, and requests unto God. There are many ways and times we can pray, but I have discovered something beneficial in praying on the behalf of others early in my day. Simply said, when I start my day in thought of others concerns, I have found that my mind remains more steadfast in a Christ-like attitude toward others throughout my day. As I go, I see the ones I prayed for earlier, and my mind is instantly taken back to the thoughts of my time with God on their behalf. As I go, I go better equipped to witness, serve and love those I come in contact with--simply because I made them a top priority, at the beginning of my day. ************************************ WORD FOR THE DAY: catarrh kuh-TAHR , noun; 1. Inflammation of a mucous membrane, especially of the respiratory tract, accompanied by excessive secretions. Quotes: An ugly catarrh, you see, is not like a pretty baby, though you do perhaps feed both with gruel; you nurse one in order to destroy it, and the other in order to keep it safe and sound. -- Charles Dickens, Household words, Volume 8 Maggie had taken to her bed with a minor bout of catarrh that rumbled with fluid in her lungs. -- Sheila Seclearr, A Tree on Turtle Island
Origin: Catarrh enters English in the 1300s, derived from the Greek katárrous, "down-flowing." ****************************** You might be a REDNECK if... ...before you eat dinner you say, "Jeet yet?" "No, djew?" "Aight."
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you think the winter olympic sport of curling is part of the "Big Hair" competition.
THINGS TO PONDER: Why do psychics have to ask for your name? ******************************* I'VE LEARNED.........You who are letting miserable misunderstandings run on from year to year, meaning to clear them up some day; you who are keeping wretched quarrels alive because you cannot quite make up your minds that now is the day to sacrifice your pride and kill them; you who are letting your neighbor starve- until you hear that he is dying of starvation; or letting your friend’s heart ache for a word of appreciation or sympathy, which you mean to give him some day; if you could only know and see and feel all of a sudden that time is short, how it would break the spell! How you would go instantly and do the thing which you might never have another chance to do! Phillips Brooks *************************** WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like that she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him like so many others had done before. 'Leave me alone,' he growled. To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. 'Are you hungry?' she asked.
'No,' he answered sarcastically. 'I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away.' The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. 'What are you doing, lady?' the man asked angrily. 'I said to leave me alone.' Just then a policeman came up. 'Is there any problem, ma'am?' he asked. 'No problem here, officer,' the woman answered. 'I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?' The officer scratched his head. 'That's old Jack.. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?' 'See that cafeteria over there?' she asked. 'I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.'
'Are you crazy, lady?' the homeless man resisted. 'I don't want to go in there!' Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. 'Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.' 'This is a good deal for you, Jack,' the officer answered. 'Don't blow it..' Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. 'What's going on here, officer?' he asked. 'What is all this. Is this man in trouble?' 'This lady brought this man in here to be fed,' the policeman answered. 'Not in here!' the manager replied angrily. 'Having a person like that here is bad for business.' Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. 'See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place.' The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. 'Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?' 'Of course I am,' the manager answered impatiently. 'They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.' And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?' 'What business is that of yours?' 'I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.' 'Oh.' The woman smiled again. 'I thought that might make a difference.' She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. 'Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?' 'No thanks, ma'am,' the officer replied. 'I'm on duty.' 'Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?' 'Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice.' The cafeteria manager turned on his heel 'I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer.' The officer watched him walk away. 'You certainly put him in his place,' he said. 'That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.' She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest She stared at him intently. 'Jack, do you remember me?' Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes 'I think so -- I mean you do look familiar.' 'I'm a little older perhaps,' she said. 'Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.' 'Ma'am?' the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry. 'I was just out of college,' the woman began. 'I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.' Jack lit up with a smile. 'Now I remember,' he said. 'I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy.' 'I know,' the woman continued. 'Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register I knew then that everything would be all right.' 'So you started your own business?' Old Jack said. 'I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business, that, with the help of God, prospered.' She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. 'When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office.' She smiled. 'I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you.' There were tears in the old man's eyes. 'How can I ever thank you? ' he said 'Don't thank me,' the woman answered. 'To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus.. He led me to you.' Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. 'Thank you for all your help, officer,' she said. 'On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,' he answered. 'Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And...And thank you for the coffee.' If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing. If you have missed some of my emails, you might have missed a laugh. But, if you have missed knowing my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, you have missed everything in the world Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You Always. And don't forget that when you 'cast your bread upon the waters,' you never know how it will be returned to you. (Hope this is repeated many times today!) God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart. *************************************** THOUGHT FOR THE DAY……….. Know that the Lord is God! It is he that made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Psalm 100:3, RSV ************************************* Cha-Cha-Cha Chicken Got 15 minutes? This baked chicken dish, made with pineapple, ginger and a kicky picante sauce, will have them dancing to the dinner table. Serves: 4 Prep. time: 15 minutes Cooking time: 45 minutes 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (about 1 pound) 2 large onions, cut into rings 1 can pineapple slices in juice, drained 1 jar (16 ounces) Pace Picante Sauce 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves 2 tablespoons packed brown sugar 1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger root 1 tablespoon cooking sherry 1 teaspoon soy sauce 2 cups hot cooked rice, regular long grain white rice or jasmine rice Heat the oven to 350°F. Line a 3-quart shallow baking pan with aluminum foil. Layer the chicken, onions and pineapple in the pan.
Stir the picante sauce, cilantro, brown sugar, ginger root, sherry and soy sauce in a medium bowl. Pour the picante sauce mixture over the pineapple. Cover the pan.
Bake for 45 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Serve the chicken and sauce with the rice. Garnish with additional cilantro, if desired. ************************************** Campbell's Southern-Style Barbecued Chicken Chicken on the grill is basted with a honey-and-mustard kissed tomato sauce.
Serves: 8 Prep. time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 40 minutes 1 can (26 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Tomato Soup 1/4 cup honey 2 tsp. dry mustard 1 tsp. onion powder 8 bone-in chicken breast halves (about 4 lbs.) skin removed Stir the soup, honey, mustard and onion powder in a 1-quart saucepan. Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium. Grill the chicken for 20 minutes, turning the chicken over once during grilling. Brush the chicken with the soup mixture and grill for 15 minutes or until cooked through, turning and brushing often with the soup mixture. Heat the remaining soup mixture to a boil and serve with the chicken. RECIPE TIPS Serving Suggestion: Serve with grilled corn-on-the-cob and a green salad with tomatoes, olives and feta cheese. For dessert serve watermelon slices. This recipe can be halved to make 4 servings. Use a 10 3/4-ounce can Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup, and reduce the other ingredients by half. *************************************** Creamy Shrimp and Scallop Shells When planning your next brunch, keep this recipe in mind. It has shrimp and scallops in a creamy mushroom sauce, served in elegant puff pastry shells. Plus, the whole dish is ready in less than one hour.
Serves: 6 Prep. time: 30 minutes Cooking time: 30 minutes 2 tablespoons butter or margarine 1/2 - lb. fresh or frozen medium shrimp, shelled and deveined 1/2 lb. scallops, cut into halves 2 cups sliced mushrooms (about 6 ounces) 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free) 1/2 cup milk 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese(about 4 ounces) Chopped fresh parsley 1 package (10 ounces) Pepperidge Farm Frozen Puff Pastry Shells, prepared according to package directions Heat 1 tablespoon butter in a 10-inch skillet over medium heat. Add the shrimp and scallops and cook until they're cooked through, stirring often. Remove the shrimp and scallops from the skillet. Heat the remaining butter in the skillet. Add the mushrooms and cook until tender, stirring occasionally. Stir in the soup, milk and cheese. Cook and stir until the cheese is melted. Return the shrimp and scallops to the skillet and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling. Spoon the mixture into the pastry shells. Sprinkle with the parsley. ************************************ Asian Beef and Noodles Serves: 4 Prep. time: 10 minutes Cooking time: 13 minutes 1 1/4 pounds ground beef 2 packages (3 oz each) Oriental-flavor instant ramen noodles 2 cups frozen oriental vegetables 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger 2 tablespoons green onion, thinly sliced In large nonstick skillet, brown ground beef over medium heat 8 to 10 minutes or until no longer pink, breaking up into 3/4 inch crumbles. Remove with slotted spoon; pour off drippings. Season beef with one seasoning packet from noodles; set aside. In same skillet, combine noodles (broken into several pieces), 2 cups water, vegetables, ginger and remaining seaasoning packet; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer 3 minutes or until noodles are tender, stirring occasionally. Return beef; heat through. Stir in green onion. *************************************** Buffalo Burgers These juicy burgers get even better when they're topped with our delicious hot and spicy sauce and crumbled blue cheese.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 15 1 lb. ground beef 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup (Regular or Healthy Request) 1/2 tsp. Louisiana-style hot sauce 1/2 - cup crumbled blue cheese or 4 slices blue cheese 4 Pepperidge Farm Classic hamburger buns, split lettuce leaves, red onion slices, tomato slices (optional) 1.Shape the beef into 4 (1/2-inch-thick) burgers. 2.Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium. Grill the burgers for 10 minutes for medium or to desired doneness, turning the burgers over once halfway through grilling. 3.Heat the soup and hot sauce in a 1-quart saucepan over medium heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes. Top the burgers with the soup mixture. Sprinkle with the cheese. Serve the burgers on the buns with the lettuce, onion and tomato, if desired. ************************************ A DRUNK: A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing," replied the drunk. *************************** THOUGHTS PROVOKING If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a " penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box ? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're goNnA to see you naked anyway. Why's "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what's baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? *************************** An old man and woman Were married for many years, Even though they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, Screaming and yelling Could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave And come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!' Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic Because of the many strange occurrences that Took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, He died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, She went straight to the Local bar and began to party, As if there was no tomorrow.. Her neighbors, Concerned for her safety, Asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be Able to dig his way up and out Of the grave And come back to haunt you For the rest of your life?' The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside Down.' Darn women they think of everything!!!!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
Stay away from the love of money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never forsake you. Hebrews 13:5
Our Daily Devotional:
On Their Behalf
1 Timothy 2:1, NIV: "I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone."
What is the best time of day to pray? The Bible instructs us to pray without ceasing. How we do so is basically by keeping an attitude of prayer throughout our day--we pray, as we go. There are also those times we pause to enter into our prayer closet--so to speak--and lift of our praises, petitions, and requests unto God. There are many ways and times we can pray, but I have discovered something beneficial in praying on the behalf of others early in my day. Simply said, when I start my day in thought of others concerns, I have found that my mind remains more steadfast in a Christ-like attitude toward others throughout my day. As I go, I see the ones I prayed for earlier, and my mind is instantly taken back to the thoughts of my time with God on their behalf. As I go, I go better equipped to witness, serve and love those I come in contact with--simply because I made them a top priority, at the beginning of my day.
************************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
catarrh kuh-TAHR , noun; 1. Inflammation of a mucous membrane, especially of the respiratory tract, accompanied by excessive secretions.
Quotes: An ugly catarrh, you see, is not like a pretty baby, though you do perhaps feed both with gruel; you nurse one in order to destroy it, and the other in order to keep it safe and sound. -- Charles Dickens, Household words, Volume 8 Maggie had taken to her bed with a minor bout of catarrh that rumbled with fluid in her lungs. -- Sheila Seclearr, A Tree on Turtle Island
Origin: Catarrh enters English in the 1300s, derived from the Greek katárrous, "down-flowing."
******************************
You might be a REDNECK if... ...before you eat dinner you say, "Jeet yet?" "No, djew?" "Aight."
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you think the winter olympic sport of curling is part of the "Big Hair" competition.
THINGS TO PONDER: Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
*******************************
I'VE LEARNED.........You who are letting miserable misunderstandings run on from year to year, meaning to clear them up some day; you who are keeping wretched quarrels alive because you cannot quite make up your minds that now is the day to sacrifice your pride and kill them; you who are letting your neighbor starve- until you hear that he is dying of starvation; or letting your friend’s heart ache for a word of appreciation or sympathy, which you mean to give him some day; if you could only know and see and feel all of a sudden that time is short, how it would break the spell! How you would go instantly and do the thing which you might never have another chance to do! Phillips Brooks
***************************
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like that she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him like so many others had done before. 'Leave me alone,' he growled. To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. 'Are you hungry?' she asked.
'No,' he answered sarcastically. 'I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away.' The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. 'What are you doing, lady?' the man asked angrily. 'I said to leave me alone.'
Just then a policeman came up. 'Is there any problem, ma'am?' he asked.
'No problem here, officer,' the woman answered. 'I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?'
The officer scratched his head. 'That's old Jack.. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?'
'See that cafeteria over there?' she asked. 'I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.'
'Are you crazy, lady?' the homeless man resisted. 'I don't want to go in there!' Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. 'Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.' 'This is a good deal for you, Jack,' the officer answered. 'Don't blow it..' Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. 'What's going on here, officer?' he asked. 'What is all this. Is this man in trouble?' 'This lady brought this man in here to be fed,' the policeman answered. 'Not in here!' the manager replied angrily. 'Having a person like that here is bad for business.' Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. 'See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place.' The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. 'Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?' 'Of course I am,' the manager answered impatiently. 'They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.' And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?' 'What business is that of yours?' 'I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.' 'Oh.' The woman smiled again. 'I thought that might make a difference.' She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. 'Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?' 'No thanks, ma'am,' the officer replied. 'I'm on duty.' 'Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?' 'Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice.' The cafeteria manager turned on his heel 'I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer.' The officer watched him walk away. 'You certainly put him in his place,' he said. 'That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.' She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest She stared at him intently. 'Jack, do you remember me?' Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes 'I think so -- I mean you do look familiar.' 'I'm a little older perhaps,' she said. 'Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.' 'Ma'am?' the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry. 'I was just out of college,' the woman began. 'I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.' Jack lit up with a smile. 'Now I remember,' he said. 'I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy.' 'I know,' the woman continued. 'Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register I knew then that everything would be all right.' 'So you started your own business?' Old Jack said. 'I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business, that, with the help of God, prospered.' She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. 'When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office.' She smiled. 'I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you.' There were tears in the old man's eyes. 'How can I ever thank you? ' he said 'Don't thank me,' the woman answered. 'To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus.. He led me to you.' Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. 'Thank you for all your help, officer,' she said. 'On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,' he answered. 'Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And...And thank you for the coffee.' If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing. If you have missed some of my emails, you might have missed a laugh. But, if you have missed knowing my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, you have missed everything in the world Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You Always. And don't forget that when you 'cast your bread upon the waters,' you never know how it will be returned to you. (Hope this is repeated many times today!) God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart.
***************************************
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY……….. Know that the Lord is God! It is he that made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Psalm 100:3, RSV
************************************** Cha-Cha-Cha Chicken
Got 15 minutes? This baked chicken dish, made with pineapple, ginger and a kicky picante sauce, will have them dancing to the dinner table.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 15 minutes Cooking time: 45 minutes
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (about 1 pound) 2 large onions, cut into rings 1 can pineapple slices in juice, drained 1 jar (16 ounces) Pace Picante Sauce 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves 2 tablespoons packed brown sugar 1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger root 1 tablespoon cooking sherry 1 teaspoon soy sauce 2 cups hot cooked rice, regular long grain white rice or jasmine rice
Heat the oven to 350°F. Line a 3-quart shallow baking pan with aluminum foil. Layer the chicken, onions and pineapple in the pan.
Stir the picante sauce, cilantro, brown sugar, ginger root, sherry and soy sauce in a medium bowl. Pour the picante sauce mixture over the pineapple. Cover the pan.
Bake for 45 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Serve the chicken and sauce with the rice. Garnish with additional cilantro, if desired.
************************************** Campbell's Southern-Style Barbecued Chicken
Chicken on the grill is basted with a honey-and-mustard kissed tomato sauce.
Serves: 8 Prep. time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 40 minutes 1 can (26 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Tomato Soup 1/4 cup honey 2 tsp. dry mustard 1 tsp. onion powder 8 bone-in chicken breast halves (about 4 lbs.) skin removed
Stir the soup, honey, mustard and onion powder in a 1-quart saucepan.
Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium. Grill the chicken for 20 minutes, turning the chicken over once during grilling. Brush the chicken with the soup mixture and grill for 15 minutes or until cooked through, turning and brushing often with the soup mixture.
Heat the remaining soup mixture to a boil and serve with the chicken.
RECIPE TIPS
Serving Suggestion: Serve with grilled corn-on-the-cob and a green salad with tomatoes, olives and feta cheese. For dessert serve watermelon slices. This recipe can be halved to make 4 servings. Use a 10 3/4-ounce can Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup, and reduce the other ingredients by half.
*************************************** Creamy Shrimp and Scallop Shells
When planning your next brunch, keep this recipe in mind. It has shrimp and scallops in a creamy mushroom sauce, served in elegant puff pastry shells. Plus, the whole dish is ready in less than one hour.
Serves: 6 Prep. time: 30 minutes Cooking time: 30 minutes
2 tablespoons butter or margarine 1/2 - lb. fresh or frozen medium shrimp, shelled and deveined 1/2 lb. scallops, cut into halves 2 cups sliced mushrooms (about 6 ounces) 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free) 1/2 cup milk 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese(about 4 ounces) Chopped fresh parsley 1 package (10 ounces) Pepperidge Farm Frozen Puff Pastry Shells, prepared according to package directions
Heat 1 tablespoon butter in a 10-inch skillet over medium heat. Add the shrimp and scallops and cook until they're cooked through, stirring often. Remove the shrimp and scallops from the skillet. Heat the remaining butter in the skillet. Add the mushrooms and cook until tender, stirring occasionally. Stir in the soup, milk and cheese. Cook and stir until the cheese is melted. Return the shrimp and scallops to the skillet and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling. Spoon the mixture into the pastry shells. Sprinkle with the parsley.
************************************ Asian Beef and Noodles
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 10 minutes Cooking time: 13 minutes 1 1/4 pounds ground beef 2 packages (3 oz each) Oriental-flavor instant ramen noodles 2 cups frozen oriental vegetables 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger 2 tablespoons green onion, thinly sliced In large nonstick skillet, brown ground beef over medium heat 8 to 10 minutes or until no longer pink, breaking up into 3/4 inch crumbles. Remove with slotted spoon; pour off drippings. Season beef with one seasoning packet from noodles; set aside.
In same skillet, combine noodles (broken into several pieces), 2 cups water, vegetables, ginger and remaining seaasoning packet; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer 3 minutes or until noodles are tender, stirring occasionally.
Return beef; heat through. Stir in green onion.
***************************************
Buffalo Burgers These juicy burgers get even better when they're topped with our delicious hot and spicy sauce and crumbled blue cheese.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 15 1 lb. ground beef 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup (Regular or Healthy Request) 1/2 tsp. Louisiana-style hot sauce 1/2 - cup crumbled blue cheese or 4 slices blue cheese 4 Pepperidge Farm Classic hamburger buns, split lettuce leaves, red onion slices, tomato slices (optional)
1.Shape the beef into 4 (1/2-inch-thick) burgers.
2.Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium. Grill the burgers for 10 minutes for medium or to desired doneness, turning the burgers over once halfway through grilling.
3.Heat the soup and hot sauce in a 1-quart saucepan over medium heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes. Top the burgers with the soup mixture. Sprinkle with the cheese. Serve the burgers on the buns with the lettuce, onion and tomato, if desired.
************************************
A DRUNK:
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
***************************
THOUGHTS PROVOKING
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a " penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box ? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're goNnA to see you naked anyway. Why's "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what's baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ***************************
An old man and woman Were married for many years, Even though they hated each other.
Whenever there was a confrontation, Screaming and yelling Could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave And come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic Because of the many strange occurrences that Took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, He died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, She went straight to the Local bar and began to party, As if there was no tomorrow.. Her neighbors, Concerned for her safety, Asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be Able to dig his way up and out Of the grave And come back to haunt you For the rest of your life?'
The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside Down.'
Darn women they think of everything!!!!
*************************** Maybe the Best Blonde Joke Ever! >
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
Stay away from the love of money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never forsake you. Hebrews 13:5
Our Daily Devotional:
On Their Behalf
1 Timothy 2:1, NIV: "I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone."
What is the best time of day to pray? The Bible instructs us to pray without ceasing. How we do so is basically by keeping an attitude of prayer throughout our day--we pray, as we go. There are also those times we pause to enter into our prayer closet--so to speak--and lift of our praises, petitions, and requests unto God. There are many ways and times we can pray, but I have discovered something beneficial in praying on the behalf of others early in my day. Simply said, when I start my day in thought of others concerns, I have found that my mind remains more steadfast in a Christ-like attitude toward others throughout my day. As I go, I see the ones I prayed for earlier, and my mind is instantly taken back to the thoughts of my time with God on their behalf. As I go, I go better equipped to witness, serve and love those I come in contact with--simply because I made them a top priority, at the beginning of my day.
************************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
catarrh kuh-TAHR , noun; 1. Inflammation of a mucous membrane, especially of the respiratory tract, accompanied by excessive secretions.
Quotes: An ugly catarrh, you see, is not like a pretty baby, though you do perhaps feed both with gruel; you nurse one in order to destroy it, and the other in order to keep it safe and sound. -- Charles Dickens, Household words, Volume 8 Maggie had taken to her bed with a minor bout of catarrh that rumbled with fluid in her lungs. -- Sheila Seclearr, A Tree on Turtle Island
Origin: Catarrh enters English in the 1300s, derived from the Greek katárrous, "down-flowing."
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You might be a REDNECK if... ...before you eat dinner you say, "Jeet yet?" "No, djew?" "Aight."
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you think the winter olympic sport of curling is part of the "Big Hair" competition.
THINGS TO PONDER: Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
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I'VE LEARNED.........You who are letting miserable misunderstandings run on from year to year, meaning to clear them up some day; you who are keeping wretched quarrels alive because you cannot quite make up your minds that now is the day to sacrifice your pride and kill them; you who are letting your neighbor starve- until you hear that he is dying of starvation; or letting your friend’s heart ache for a word of appreciation or sympathy, which you mean to give him some day; if you could only know and see and feel all of a sudden that time is short, how it would break the spell! How you would go instantly and do the thing which you might never have another chance to do! Phillips Brooks
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WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like that she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him like so many others had done before. 'Leave me alone,' he growled. To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. 'Are you hungry?' she asked.
'No,' he answered sarcastically. 'I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away.' The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. 'What are you doing, lady?' the man asked angrily. 'I said to leave me alone.'
Just then a policeman came up. 'Is there any problem, ma'am?' he asked.
'No problem here, officer,' the woman answered. 'I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?'
The officer scratched his head. 'That's old Jack.. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?'
'See that cafeteria over there?' she asked. 'I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.'
'Are you crazy, lady?' the homeless man resisted. 'I don't want to go in there!' Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. 'Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.' 'This is a good deal for you, Jack,' the officer answered. 'Don't blow it..' Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. 'What's going on here, officer?' he asked. 'What is all this. Is this man in trouble?' 'This lady brought this man in here to be fed,' the policeman answered. 'Not in here!' the manager replied angrily. 'Having a person like that here is bad for business.' Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. 'See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place.' The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. 'Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?' 'Of course I am,' the manager answered impatiently. 'They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.' And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?' 'What business is that of yours?' 'I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.' 'Oh.' The woman smiled again. 'I thought that might make a difference.' She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. 'Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?' 'No thanks, ma'am,' the officer replied. 'I'm on duty.' 'Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?' 'Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice.' The cafeteria manager turned on his heel 'I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer.' The officer watched him walk away. 'You certainly put him in his place,' he said. 'That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.' She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest She stared at him intently. 'Jack, do you remember me?' Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes 'I think so -- I mean you do look familiar.' 'I'm a little older perhaps,' she said. 'Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.' 'Ma'am?' the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry. 'I was just out of college,' the woman began. 'I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.' Jack lit up with a smile. 'Now I remember,' he said. 'I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy.' 'I know,' the woman continued. 'Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register I knew then that everything would be all right.' 'So you started your own business?' Old Jack said. 'I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business, that, with the help of God, prospered.' She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. 'When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office.' She smiled. 'I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you.' There were tears in the old man's eyes. 'How can I ever thank you? ' he said 'Don't thank me,' the woman answered. 'To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus.. He led me to you.' Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. 'Thank you for all your help, officer,' she said. 'On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,' he answered. 'Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And...And thank you for the coffee.' If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing. If you have missed some of my emails, you might have missed a laugh. But, if you have missed knowing my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, you have missed everything in the world Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You Always. And don't forget that when you 'cast your bread upon the waters,' you never know how it will be returned to you. (Hope this is repeated many times today!) God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart.
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY……….. Know that the Lord is God! It is he that made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Psalm 100:3, RSV
************************************** Cha-Cha-Cha Chicken
Got 15 minutes? This baked chicken dish, made with pineapple, ginger and a kicky picante sauce, will have them dancing to the dinner table.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 15 minutes Cooking time: 45 minutes
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (about 1 pound) 2 large onions, cut into rings 1 can pineapple slices in juice, drained 1 jar (16 ounces) Pace Picante Sauce 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves 2 tablespoons packed brown sugar 1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger root 1 tablespoon cooking sherry 1 teaspoon soy sauce 2 cups hot cooked rice, regular long grain white rice or jasmine rice
Heat the oven to 350°F. Line a 3-quart shallow baking pan with aluminum foil. Layer the chicken, onions and pineapple in the pan.
Stir the picante sauce, cilantro, brown sugar, ginger root, sherry and soy sauce in a medium bowl. Pour the picante sauce mixture over the pineapple. Cover the pan.
Bake for 45 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Serve the chicken and sauce with the rice. Garnish with additional cilantro, if desired.
************************************** Campbell's Southern-Style Barbecued Chicken
Chicken on the grill is basted with a honey-and-mustard kissed tomato sauce.
Serves: 8 Prep. time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 40 minutes 1 can (26 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Tomato Soup 1/4 cup honey 2 tsp. dry mustard 1 tsp. onion powder 8 bone-in chicken breast halves (about 4 lbs.) skin removed
Stir the soup, honey, mustard and onion powder in a 1-quart saucepan.
Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium. Grill the chicken for 20 minutes, turning the chicken over once during grilling. Brush the chicken with the soup mixture and grill for 15 minutes or until cooked through, turning and brushing often with the soup mixture.
Heat the remaining soup mixture to a boil and serve with the chicken.
RECIPE TIPS
Serving Suggestion: Serve with grilled corn-on-the-cob and a green salad with tomatoes, olives and feta cheese. For dessert serve watermelon slices. This recipe can be halved to make 4 servings. Use a 10 3/4-ounce can Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup, and reduce the other ingredients by half.
*************************************** Creamy Shrimp and Scallop Shells
When planning your next brunch, keep this recipe in mind. It has shrimp and scallops in a creamy mushroom sauce, served in elegant puff pastry shells. Plus, the whole dish is ready in less than one hour.
Serves: 6 Prep. time: 30 minutes Cooking time: 30 minutes
2 tablespoons butter or margarine 1/2 - lb. fresh or frozen medium shrimp, shelled and deveined 1/2 lb. scallops, cut into halves 2 cups sliced mushrooms (about 6 ounces) 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free) 1/2 cup milk 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese(about 4 ounces) Chopped fresh parsley 1 package (10 ounces) Pepperidge Farm Frozen Puff Pastry Shells, prepared according to package directions
Heat 1 tablespoon butter in a 10-inch skillet over medium heat. Add the shrimp and scallops and cook until they're cooked through, stirring often. Remove the shrimp and scallops from the skillet. Heat the remaining butter in the skillet. Add the mushrooms and cook until tender, stirring occasionally. Stir in the soup, milk and cheese. Cook and stir until the cheese is melted. Return the shrimp and scallops to the skillet and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling. Spoon the mixture into the pastry shells. Sprinkle with the parsley.
************************************ Asian Beef and Noodles
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 10 minutes Cooking time: 13 minutes 1 1/4 pounds ground beef 2 packages (3 oz each) Oriental-flavor instant ramen noodles 2 cups frozen oriental vegetables 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger 2 tablespoons green onion, thinly sliced In large nonstick skillet, brown ground beef over medium heat 8 to 10 minutes or until no longer pink, breaking up into 3/4 inch crumbles. Remove with slotted spoon; pour off drippings. Season beef with one seasoning packet from noodles; set aside.
In same skillet, combine noodles (broken into several pieces), 2 cups water, vegetables, ginger and remaining seaasoning packet; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer 3 minutes or until noodles are tender, stirring occasionally.
Return beef; heat through. Stir in green onion.
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Buffalo Burgers These juicy burgers get even better when they're topped with our delicious hot and spicy sauce and crumbled blue cheese.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 15 1 lb. ground beef 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup (Regular or Healthy Request) 1/2 tsp. Louisiana-style hot sauce 1/2 - cup crumbled blue cheese or 4 slices blue cheese 4 Pepperidge Farm Classic hamburger buns, split lettuce leaves, red onion slices, tomato slices (optional)
1.Shape the beef into 4 (1/2-inch-thick) burgers.
2.Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium. Grill the burgers for 10 minutes for medium or to desired doneness, turning the burgers over once halfway through grilling.
3.Heat the soup and hot sauce in a 1-quart saucepan over medium heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes. Top the burgers with the soup mixture. Sprinkle with the cheese. Serve the burgers on the buns with the lettuce, onion and tomato, if desired.
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A DRUNK:
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
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THOUGHTS PROVOKING
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a " penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box ? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're goNnA to see you naked anyway. Why's "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what's baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ***************************
An old man and woman Were married for many years, Even though they hated each other.
Whenever there was a confrontation, Screaming and yelling Could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave And come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic Because of the many strange occurrences that Took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, He died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, She went straight to the Local bar and began to party, As if there was no tomorrow.. Her neighbors, Concerned for her safety, Asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be Able to dig his way up and out Of the grave And come back to haunt you For the rest of your life?'
The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside Down.'
Darn women they think of everything!!!!
*************************** Maybe the Best Blonde Joke Ever! >
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Show Me—Don't Tell Me
"So I ask you to follow my example and do as I do. That is the very reason I am sending Timothy—to help you do this. For he is my beloved and trustworthy child in the Lord. He will remind you of what I teach about Christ Jesus in all the churches wherever I go."1
Dwight Moody told about a friend of his who had been in Eastern lands and saw a shepherd who was trying to get his flock to cross a stream. He went into the water and called his flock, but no, they wouldn't follow him. So he picked up two lambs and, with one tucked under each arm, he plunged into the stream and crossed it without even looking back.
"When he lifted the lambs the old sheep looked up into his face and began to bleat for them. But when he plunged into the water, the sheep plunged in after him, and the whole flock followed. When they got to the other side he put down the lambs, and they were quickly joined by their mothers.
I recall reading how a visiting speaker to a high school spoke to the student body about the perils of smoking. Afterwards some of the students saw this same man smoking. Undoubtedly, he did more harm by his example than anything he might have said—no matter how true or relevant was what he had to say.
If you and I want to influence others for Jesus, what we have to say at the appropriate time is important, but what we say by the way we live will always carry a lot more weight. According to communication specialists the words we say only carry seven percent of the message we are seeking to communicate. Who we are and what we do speaks the loudest by far.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to so live that my life will model and be a living example of your ways so that people seeing Jesus in me will want you for themselves. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1 Corinthians 4:16-17 (New Living Translation (NLT)) 16 So I urge you to imitate me.
17 That’s why I have sent Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord. He will remind you of how I follow Christ Jesus, just as I teach in all the churches wherever I go.
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WORD FOR THE DAY:
paste • PAIST • verb 1 : to strike hard at 2 : to beat or defeat soundly Examples: "With two outs, two on, a 3-2 lead and a 1-2 count on light-hitting Nick Green in the seventh inning, Pavano didn't come far enough inside with a fastball and the D-Rays second baseman pasted the ball on a line toward the left-field corner." -- From a news story by Sam Borden in the New York Daily News, June 23, 2005
"Duke (32-3) traveled to Hartford on Jan. 31 and got pasted, 87-51, by the Huskies." --From an article by Arthur Staple in Newsday (Long Island, NY), March 27, 2011
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Classic Buttermilk Custard Pie
MakesOne 9 inch pie
Down in the south, this buttermilk pie is a scrumptious staple. With a handful of ingredients, it's possible to prepare a traditional yet tasty after-dinner treat that doesn't disappoint. Add it to your recipe repertoire. Ingredients
2 cups white sugar 2 tbsp. all-purpose flour 5 eggs 2/3 cup buttermilk 1/2 cup melted butter 1 tsp. vanilla extract 1 (9 inch) unbaked piecrust
Methods/steps Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, combine sugar and flour. Beat in the eggs and buttermilk until blended. Stir in the melted butter and vanilla. Pour filling into the pie crust. Bake in the preheated oven for 45 minutes, or until filling is set.
Additional Tips Ready in 1 hour 20 min
************************* Spaghetti Goulash
Makes: 25 servings Prep Time: 45 minutes Cook Time: 30 minutes Ready In: 1 hour, 15 minutes
Goulash is a thick stew served with noodles or rice; traditional goulash is made with a mixture of meat. This recipe makes 2 large and 1 small casserole serving 25 people or one very hungry Cajun. Ingredients 5 pounds meat mixture (1/2 beef and 1/2 pork) 1 pound grated cheddar cheese 3 cans cream of tomato soup 5 cans mushroom 5 large onions chopped 2 large bell peppers chopped 3 or more cloves of garlic 1/2 cup each of onion tops and parsley 2 1/2 package spaghetti (12 oz) Seasonings (salt black pepper and garlic powder) to taste Directions Cook the spaghetti according to package directions. Season meat with salt, black pepper and garlic powder, mix with onions, bell pepper and garlic. Brown meat then simmer 5 minutes. Spoon off excess fat - add the tomato soup and cook 10 minutes. Add the cooked spaghetti, mushrooms, onion top and parsley and 1/2 of the cheese. Mix well. Pour into the casserole and top with remaining cheese. Bake 30 minutes in a preheated 350 degree oven.
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Pecan Kringle
Makes 2 kringles, each serving 8.
Note: This recipe must be prepared in advance. To toast pecans, place them in a dry skillet over medium heat and toast, occasionally shaking pan, until nuts are fragrant and begin to darken slightly, 3 to 5 minutes.
For filling:
• 1 c. pecans, toasted • 3/4 c. packed light brown sugar • 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon • 1/8 tsp. salt • 4 tbsp. unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-in. pieces and chilled
For dough:
• 4 c. flour, plus extra for rolling dough • 1 c. (2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-in. pieces and chilled • 1/4 c. shortening, cut into 1/2-in. pieces and chilled • 2 tbsp. powdered sugar • 1 envelope (21/4 tsp.) rapid-rise or instant yeast • 3/4 tsp. salt • 2 c. sour cream • Water • 1 egg, lightly beaten
For glaze:
• 1 c. powdered sugar • 2 tbsp. whole milk • 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
Directions
To prepare filling: In bowl of a food processor fitted with a metal blade, combine pecans, brown sugar, cinnamon and salt and pulse until coarsely ground. Add butter and pulse until mixture resembles coarse meal. Transfer mixture to a bowl and reserve.
To prepare dough: In bowl of a food processor fitted with a metal blade, add flour, butter, shortening, powdered sugar, yeast and salt and pulse until mixture resembles coarse meal. Transfer mixture to a large bowl and stir in sour cream until a dough forms (if dough appears shaggy and dry after adding sour cream, add up to 2 tablespoons ice water until dough is smooth). On a lightly floured work surface, divide dough in half. Pat each half into a 7- by 3-inch rectangle and wrap in plastic wrap. Refrigerate dough for 30 minutes, then freeze until firm, about 15 minutes.
Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. On a lightly floured work surface, using a lightly floured rolling pin, roll one dough half into a 28- by 5-inch rectangle (dough will be about 1/4 -inch thick). Cover bottom (long) half of dough with half of filling, leaving a 1/2-inch border around bottom and side edges. Brush edge of uncovered dough with water, fold dough over filling and pinch seams closed. Shape into an oval, tuck one end inside the other and pinch to seal. Transfer to prepared baking sheet, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 4 hours or up to 12 hours. Repeat with remaining dough and filling.
When ready to bake, adjust oven racks to upper-middle and lower-middle positions and preheat oven to 350 degrees. Discard plastic wrap, brush kringles with beaten egg and bake until golden brown, 40 to 50 minutes, switching and rotating sheets halfway through baking. Remove from oven, and slide parchment paper and kringles to a wire rack and let cool about 30 minutes.
To prepare glaze: In a medium bowl, whisk powdered sugar, milk and vanilla extract until smooth. Drizzle glaze over kringles and let glaze set, about 10 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.
*************************** Pie Crust Tips You Can't Live Without
There is nothing like the smell of pie baking in the oven. A slice of pie can be the perfect ending to a delicious meal or make for a tasty treat anytime of the day. Making the perfect pie crust isn't as hard as you might think. You can easily whip up a tasty pie crust with just a few ingredients.
Easy Pie Crust Recipe
There is a special secret to making a great pie crust: cold ingredients. All of the ingredients listed below should be very cold before mixing them together. You can achieve this by storing them overnight in your refrigerator or just for several hours before using them.
Ingredients: 1 cup all-purpose flour 1/3 cup shortening ½ teaspoon salt 2 to 3 tablespoons water
Mix the flour and salt in a bowl. Slowly work in the shortening, cutting into the mixture until it looks like meal. Gradually sprinkle the water over the mixture, blending it into the dough until it holds together well. Let the dough stand for about 5 minutes and then roll into a circle, an inch larger than the size of the pie pan you are baking it in. If you are baking it in a 9-inch pie pan, roll out your dough into a 10-inch circle.
This recipe is for a single crust pie recipe. If you are making a double crust pie, then double the recipe.
For a single crust pie, loosely place the crust into the pie pan so that it drapes over the edge of the pan. Trim any excess crust hanging off the edge of the pan. You can create a nice finished look to the crust in a couple of ways. You can lightly press your finger all around the crust, along the edges. Or you can lightly press your finger against the rim and then pinch the outside with your right thumb and finger. This will give your pie a "fluted" look.
If you are baking anything other than a custard pie, brush some melted butter over the bottom of the crust. For custard pies, brush the bottom of the crust with a beaten egg white. If you are making a double crust pie, after you have laid the first crust into the pie pan, place the filling inside. Drape the second crust over it. Trim away any excess crust and then seal the edges by pinching them together.
For ventilation (so the steam can escape while baking), cut three or four slits in the top crust or poke some holes in the crust with a fork.
Pie Crust Tools
The right tools can make all the difference in preparing a great pie crust. For example, it can be difficult to cut the shortening into the mix. A pastry blender will make this easier. The curving tines work well with blending shortening into any type of dry mix.
Since dough often ends up sticking to the surface you rolled the crust on, a pastry mat can alleviate that problem. Pastry mats are made of plastic and make lifting the dough off the mat much easier.
You can also use parchment or wax paper. Since wax paper tends to slip around on counters, you can make it adhere to the counter by sprinkling a few drops of water on the countertop before placing the wax paper down.
Rolling the dough can also be tricky. By rubbing some flour on the rolling pin, you can help keep the dough from sticking to it. However, you can also find non-stick rolling pans that make the job even easier (and less messy).
Stoneware evenly and consistently heats whatever is baking in it. A stoneware pie pan will ensure that you get the perfect crust. It will evenly brown the crust and keep it nice and flaky.
Glass pie plates also work great for baking pies. However, you should reduce the oven temperature by 25 degrees if using glass. Don't use a shiny metal pan as they keep the crust from browning properly; instead, use a dull metal pie pan.
ening is not the only fat that can be used in baking a pie. Butter or lard can also be used but the same secret exists for the perfect crust -- cold ingredients. When blending the butter into the mix, first cut it into small pieces. You can also freeze the butter and then grate it into the mix with a cheese grater.
All-purpose flour is not the only flour that can be used in making your dough, either. Unbleached, cake or pastry flour can be used instead, which creates a tender pie crust. You can make your own pastry flour by putting one tablespoon of cornstarch in the bottom of a measuring cup for every one cup of all-purpose flour you measure.
You can also create a more tender crust by refrigerating the pie dough overnight or for several hours before baking.
Cooling is another important step in baking a great pie. Wire racks are best for cooling pies as they allow the air to circulate. This prevents the pie from becoming soggy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Apple Pie Recipe
So now that you have the perfect crust, how about a tasty pie recipe? Apple pie is an all-time American classic. For a basic apple pie filling, you will need the following ingredients:
About 5 to 6 cups of any variety of apple you like, cut into thin slices
1 tablespoon of lemon juice ½ cup sugar ¼ cup brown sugar ¼ cup melted butter 3 tablespoons flour 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
In a large bowl, toss the apple slices with the lemon juice, coating the apple slices well. Add the rest of the ingredients to the bowl, mixing until well blended. Now you have the perfect apple pie filling for your perfect pie. You can also make a crumb topping instead of a crust for your apple pie. For a simple crumb topping, mix one cup of sugar and ¾ cup of flour with 1/3 cup of melted butter. Sprinkle the crumb topping all over the filling. For an ever better taste, drizzle some caramel all over the crumb topping.
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How to Steam Fresh Vegetables
Vegetables don't have to be boring. There are a variety of ways to prepare vegetables without losing color, texture or nutrients. And we're not thinking salads and a thousand ways to dress them up. Steaming vegetables is a great and viable option. The process is quick, rather hassle-free and produces nutritious and quick dishes to complement any meal.
Steaming is a simple feat and requires few cooking implements. You can buy an electric steamer or just a steaming rack, colander or bamboo steamer. Not a gadget person? Get innovative by crushing aluminum foil into balls and placing them at the bottom of your pot. You can also steam vegetables in the microwave. Try Zip n Steam microwave bags (Glad has a version of that too) or simply put some moist towels over the vegetables and hit the cook button.
Here are some simple rules to follow when steaming vegetables:
* Place steaming rack or colander in the pot. Pour an inch or two of water into a pot. Make sure that rack or colander is above the water level. Bring it to a boil over high heat. Maintain high heat through the cooking process as the intensity of heat will cook vegetables faster and crisper.
*While the water is boiling, prepare your vegetables. Any kind of vegetables can be steamed. The length of steaming time required depends on the vegetables. Denser vegetables like potatoes and carrots require more time. Cutting them into smaller chunks or thinner slice will speed up the process. Fragile greens like spinach requires almost no time at all -- a minute or two will do.
*Once water boils, place vegetables on the steaming rack. Most vegetables only need one to three minutes. Once the vegetables take on a vibrant change of color, remove them immediately. If you are not sure, use a fork or knife to see if they are done.
*Serve immediately. Steamed vegetables taste best when eaten while they are still hot. They tend to turn mushy if they are left to sit for a while.
Steaming vegetables is only part of the fun. You can create impressive, delicious dishes with a few tricks:
1. You can infuse the vegetables with a touch of flavor by adding herbs, spices and seasonings to the water while steaming. This method of flavoring the vegetables will add some zing, without drowning the natural flavor of the vegetables themselves. Toss sprigs of herbs like cilantro, thyme, lemon grass. Consider garlic, slices of lemon, soy sauce, olive oil, ginger, vinegar. Get creative.
2. Use light seasonings. Sometimes the best of flavors are brought out by the simplest of seasonings. Season steamed vegetables with butter, salt or pepper. Or use olive oil and finely chopped fresh herbs. Sprinkle veggies with grated cheese or seasoning rub like Knox's Cracked Pepper dry rub. Try steamed edamame with a dash of kosher salt - so good, even the most finicky eater will eat them.
3. Dress it up. Try some of these simple, tasty dressings:
Honey Sesame Dressings One-quarter cup honey
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp toasted sesame seeds
1 tbsp grated ginger
Salt and pepper to taste
Whisk all of the above and pour mixture over steamed vegetables.
Oriental Twist
2 tbsp of oyster sauce
1 teaspoon of sesame oil
Salt and pepper to taste
Whisk together in a large bowl. Put in steamed vegetables and toss well.
4. Dips, sauces and fondues
Anytime you turn vegetables into finger food, they taste 10 times better. Dip your lightly steamed vegetables (good examples are broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus) into your favorite dip or sauce, or kick it up a notch with fondue cheese sauces.
*************************** Fifty Bucks
Bill and his wife Blanche went to the state fair every year, And every year Bill would say, 'Blanche, I'd like to ride in that helicopter' Blanche always replied, 'I know Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said, 'Blanche, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance' To this, Blanche replied, "Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.' Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word... When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!' Bill replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Blanche fell out, But you know, "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'
************************** http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=N7l96ZHUAU0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=N7l96ZHUAU0 ***************************
What is Blood?
Blood is the life-maintaining transport fluid that circulates oxygen and nutrients throughout the body, carries away waste products, and helps defend against disease. Blood consists of numerous components, such as cells and proteins, that circulate in a fluid called plasma. The millions of cells that circulate in blood include erythrocytes (red blood cells), leukocytes (white blood cells) and thrombocytes (platelets). Besides transporting vital components, the blood plays an important role in the immune functions of the body and is vitally important to coagulation (ability of blood to clot properly).
Various components of blood are produced in several tissues and organs. Red blood cells, platelets and some white blood cells are manufactured in the bone marrow, which is present in the central cavity of the long bones of the body. Other white blood cells are formed in the lymph nodes.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
Banana Pancakes
These delicious pancakes are perfect for breakfast, brunch or even a quick supper. This makes a wonderful treat for a weekend breakfast.
Serves: 2 Prep. time: 15 minutes Cooking time: cook until crisp 4 very ripe bananas 2 large eggs 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice 2 tablespoons sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 cup vegetable oil, additional if needed Mash bananas in a food processor. Add eggs, lime juice, sugar, and vanilla. Blend until smooth. Add flour, mixing well. Add water if necessary to make batter into a very thin consistency. Heat oil in a heavy skillet. Drop one tablespoon batter into oil. Turn once or twice until lightly browned all over. The pancakes should be crisp, similar to a fritter. Serve with butter and hot maple syrup.
**************************** Bring Tommy Cooper Back
1. Two blondes walk into a building ....... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - '..If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'
6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
7 . A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.
8. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
12. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
13. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'. So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it..'
16. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
17. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bastard!'
18. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
19. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
20. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'. The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore!
21. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
*****************************
May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends that care. A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.
If you don't (re)send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!
May we all be COFFEE!!!!!! !!
(Ps 20:7)Some may trust in chariots, and some in horses: but I will trust in the name of the LORD our God.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD: "Dwell apart with Me. From these times you come forth in Power to bless and heal." -- GOD
Our Daily Devotional:
Bound for Freedom
John 8:32, NIV: "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
We are often bound by so many chains. Some chains are the invisible ties that bind you, and can elude you for great lengths of time before being discovered. Some chains are known to you, yet you have not discovered how to be set free from them. Perhaps some of them have held you for so long that you have grown accustomed to them, and have decided that they are something you will just have to live with. But if you seek His truth, His truth will set you free...right? Can you agree? Perhaps you have tried to be free from something, and feel that you are seeking Christ's truth regarding it. Then why is it you still feel chained? Perhaps the chains that hold you are those of misunderstanding God's purpose within a heartache or trial. Maybe you have not surrendered to Him by saying, "Lord, I don't understand. But I know you have my best interest at heart. Thy will be done." God's will never chains you but sets you free. Sometimes it frees you from expecting Him to answer you according to your will. There is no question His truth sets you free. But the freedom He brings does not promise freedom from troubles--but freedom in the midst of them.
Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets. - Amos 3:7
*********************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
callithump KAL-uh-thuhmp , noun; 1.A children's parade, with prizes for the best costumes.
Quotes: The callithump of his ideas never stops, never flags, never pauses for rest or recuperation or revival. -- Leo Calvin Rosten, People I Have Loved, Known, or Admired "The neighborhood kids would bang pans together whenever they put on their springtime callithump ." -- Word Delight
Origin: Callithump is a Midwestern Americanism that derives from the regional British phrase gallithumpians , "disturbers of order at Parliamentary elections."
*************************** CONFUCIOUS QUOTE: Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
THINGS TO PONDER: Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.
"Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose." - Lyndon B. Johnson
***************************** TODAY'S PET TIP
Before Bathing Your Dog Before bathing your dog, comb and brush out all mats. To keep his eyes safe, put a drop of mineral oil in the eyes to protect them from suds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dogs Eating Glue and Bowling Pins
We all know that dogs are not picky eaters - shoes, furniture, bars of soap... most dogs will eat just about anything. Well today I want to share two stories about 2 dogs that ate something that got them a visit to the pet emergency room. 1. Dog Eats Gorilla Glue - I'm talking about a polyurethane glue with several brand names including Gorilla Glue®. It is a water-activated expanding adhesive commonly used for home improvement and repair projects available at most hardware and home-improvement stores. When ingested by your dog, the glue expands to a hard indigestible plastic resin that can fill the entire stomach cavity. The only treatment is surgical removal. Any ingestion of expandable glue can be fatal and should be immediately reported to your veterinarian. 2. Dog Eats Bowling Pin - A 2-year-old bulldog came into the clinic with a broken bowling pin stuck on his lower jaw! I wish I had a photo to share with you - it was unbelievable. Somehow, he ran out of the house and got into the neighbor's trashcan that had a broken bowling pin inside. He must have tried to chew on it and got the pin caught around his lower jaw. The owner could not get it off. The dog was anxious and in a lot of pain by the time he arrived at the emergency room, so we sedated him and cut the pin off. He was fine. These stories emphasize the need to keep an eye on your dog. These dogs were in a lot of pain. Luckily the dogs were fine, but treatment was expensive. And if their owners could not have afforded to pay for the emergency treatment, the outcome would have been much different.
Please keep your dog on a leash or confined to a fenced yard. These problems were all preventable if the dogs had not been allowed access to these things. Keep all toxins, glues, antifreeze and other potential dangers out of your pet's reach.
*************************************** Chinese Sweet and Sour Sauce recipes
Basic Sweet and Sour Sauce
1/4 cup granulated sugar 1/4 cup vinegar 1/4 cup ketchup 1/4 cup soy sauce
Thoroughly mix sugar, vinegar, ketchup and soy sauce. Serve hot or at room temperature as a simple sauce or dip to accompany vegetables or roast meats. Makes 1 cup.
==================================================
Sweet Sour Sauce
2 tbsp cider vinegar 1/2 cup plus 3 tbsp water 6 tbsp granulated sugar salt to taste 1 tbsp ketchup 1 tbsp cornstarch
Combine the vinegar, half a cup of water, sugar, salt and ketchup in a small saucepan. Bring to a simmer.
Blend the cornstarch with the remaining water and stir it into the sauce. Cook until thickened. Makes 3/4 cup.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Sauce
1 cup granulated sugar 2 tbsp cornstarch 1/4 tsp salt 1 cup red wine vinegar 1/2 cup orange juice 1/2 cup pineapple juice (drained from pineapple chunks) 1 can (6 oz) tomato paste
Blend sugar, cornstarch and salt. Stir in vinegar, fruit juices and tomato paste. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened and glossy. Makes 3 cups.
==================================================
Sweet-and-Sour Dipping Sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons rice vinegar 2 tablespoons sugar 1 tablespoon quality ketchup 1 teaspoon soy sauce 1/4 cup water 1 tablespoon corn or peanut oil 1 1/2 teaspoons minced garlic 1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger 1 teaspoon cornstarch dissolved in 1 tablespoon cold water
Preparation
1. Combine the rice vinegar, sugar, ketchup, soy sauce and water in a small bowl, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Set aside.
2. Heat a small, heavy saucepan. Add the oil and swirl to glaze the bottom of the pan. When the oil is hot enough to sizzle a piece of garlic, add the garlic and ginger and stir gently until fragrant, 10 to 15 seconds, adjusting the heat so they sizzle gently without browning. Add the sugar mixture, stir to blend, then raise the heat to bring the mixture to a bubbly simmer, stirring.
3. Reduce the heat to medium-low; stir the cornstarch and water to recombine it and add it to the pan. Stir until the mixture thickens and becomes glossy, about 20 seconds. Turn off the heat and cover the pot to keep the sauce warm until ready to serve. The sauce can be made ahead, stored in the refrigerator and then reheated. Makes about 1/2 cup.
==================================================
Sweet-and-Sour Dipping Sauce
1 tbsp cornstarch 1/2 cup orange juice or pineapple juice 1/2 cup brown sugar 3 tbsp cider vinegar 1 tbsp ketchup 1 tbsp soy sauce dash Tabasco sauce (optional)
Makes 2/3 cup
Place cornstarch in 2-cup glass microwave-safe measuring cup. Add a little orange juice, stir to make a smooth paste. Add remaining orange juice, brown sugar, vinegar, ketchup soy sauce and Tabasco.
Cover with plastic wrap and microwave for 2 to 4 minutes, until mixture comes to a boil and thickens.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Sauce
3 tbsp apricot preserves 1 tbsp soy sauce 3 tbsp cider vinegar 1 tbsp granulated sugar 1/4 cup water 1 tbsp cornstarch dissolved in 1/4 cup water
In a small saucepan over medium heat, mix first 5 ingredients. Stir simmering 2 minutes, stirring constantly; gradually stir in cornstarch mixture until thickened, stirring constantly.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Sauce for Lumpia
1/2 cup vinegar 1 cup water 1 cup granulated sugar 2 tbsp cornstarch 2 tbsp catsup 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp crushed red chili flakes 1/2 tsp minced garlic
Combine vinegar, water, sugar, cornstarch, catsup, salt and chili flakes and garlic in a small saucepan. Stir until cornstarch is dissolved. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Heat until thickened, stirring.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Dipping Sauce
2/3 cup apricot-pineapple preserves (or 1/3 cup each separate apricot and
pineapple preserves) 2 tbsp water 1 tbsp catsup 1 tbsp white vinegar 1/8 tsp liquid red pepper seasoning 1/16 tsp minced garlic
Combine all ingredients in saucepan. Heat to boiling, stirring occasionally. Serve warm as dipping sauce for Wonton etc. Makes 3/4 cup.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Sauce
1 tbsp corn starch 3 tbsp granulated sugar 1/2 cup pineapple juice (reserved from canned pineapple) 1/2 cup cider vinegar 1/4 cup ketchup 1 1/2 tsp soy sauce 1 garlic clove, finely chopped
Combine ingredients in a mixing bowl. Whisk until well combined. Pour into saucepan and simmer until thickened, about 3 to 4 minutes.
Makes about 1 cup.
==================================================
Basic Sweet and Sour Sauce
1/4 cup granulated sugar 1/4 cup vinegar 1/4 cup ketchup 1/4 cup soy sauce
Thoroughly mix sugar, vinegar, ketchup and soy sauce. Serve hot or at room temperature as a simple sauce or dip to accompany vegetables or roast meats. Makes 1 cup.
==================================================
Sweet Sour Sauce
2 tbsp cider vinegar 1/2 cup plus 3 tbsp water 6 tbsp granulated sugar salt to taste 1 tbsp ketchup 1 tbsp cornstarch
Combine the vinegar, half a cup of water, sugar, salt and ketchup in a small saucepan. Bring to a simmer.
Blend the cornstarch with the remaining water and stir it into the sauce. Cook until thickened. Makes 3/4 cup.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Sauce
1 cup granulated sugar 2 tbsp cornstarch 1/4 tsp salt 1 cup red wine vinegar 1/2 cup orange juice 1/2 cup pineapple juice (drained from pineapple chunks) 1 can (6 oz) tomato paste
Blend sugar, cornstarch and salt. Stir in vinegar, fruit juices and tomato paste. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened and glossy. Makes 3 cups.
==================================================
Sweet-and-Sour Dipping Sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons rice vinegar 2 tablespoons sugar 1 tablespoon quality ketchup 1 teaspoon soy sauce 1/4 cup water 1 tablespoon corn or peanut oil 1 1/2 teaspoons minced garlic 1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger 1 teaspoon cornstarch dissolved in 1 tablespoon cold water
Preparation
1. Combine the rice vinegar, sugar, ketchup, soy sauce and water in a small bowl, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Set aside.
2. Heat a small, heavy saucepan. Add the oil and swirl to glaze the bottom of the pan. When the oil is hot enough to sizzle a piece of garlic, add the garlic and ginger and stir gently until fragrant, 10 to 15 seconds, adjusting the heat so they sizzle gently without browning. Add the sugar mixture, stir to blend, then raise the heat to bring the mixture to a bubbly simmer, stirring.
3. Reduce the heat to medium-low; stir the cornstarch and water to recombine it and add it to the pan. Stir until the mixture thickens and becomes glossy, about 20 seconds. Turn off the heat and cover the pot to keep the sauce warm until ready to serve. The sauce can be made ahead, stored in the refrigerator and then reheated. Makes about 1/2 cup.
==================================================
Sweet-and-Sour Dipping Sauce
1 tbsp cornstarch 1/2 cup orange juice or pineapple juice 1/2 cup brown sugar 3 tbsp cider vinegar 1 tbsp ketchup 1 tbsp soy sauce dash Tabasco sauce (optional)
Makes 2/3 cup
Place cornstarch in 2-cup glass microwave-safe measuring cup. Add a little orange juice, stir to make a smooth paste. Add remaining orange juice, brown sugar, vinegar, ketchup soy sauce and Tabasco.
Cover with plastic wrap and microwave for 2 to 4 minutes, until mixture comes to a boil and thickens.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Sauce
3 tbsp apricot preserves 1 tbsp soy sauce 3 tbsp cider vinegar 1 tbsp granulated sugar 1/4 cup water 1 tbsp cornstarch dissolved in 1/4 cup water
In a small saucepan over medium heat, mix first 5 ingredients. Stir simmering 2 minutes, stirring constantly; gradually stir in cornstarch mixture until thickened, stirring constantly.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Sauce for Lumpia
1/2 cup vinegar 1 cup water 1 cup granulated sugar 2 tbsp cornstarch 2 tbsp catsup 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp crushed red chili flakes 1/2 tsp minced garlic
Combine vinegar, water, sugar, cornstarch, catsup, salt and chili flakes and garlic in a small saucepan. Stir until cornstarch is dissolved. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Heat until thickened, stirring.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Dipping Sauce
2/3 cup apricot-pineapple preserves (or 1/3 cup each separate apricot and
pineapple preserves) 2 tbsp water 1 tbsp catsup 1 tbsp white vinegar 1/8 tsp liquid red pepper seasoning 1/16 tsp minced garlic
Combine all ingredients in saucepan. Heat to boiling, stirring occasionally. Serve warm as dipping sauce for Wonton etc. Makes 3/4 cup.
==================================================
Sweet and Sour Sauce
1 tbsp corn starch 3 tbsp granulated sugar 1/2 cup pineapple juice (reserved from canned pineapple) 1/2 cup cider vinegar 1/4 cup ketchup 1 1/2 tsp soy sauce 1 garlic clove, finely chopped
Combine ingredients in a mixing bowl. Whisk until well combined. Pour into saucepan and simmer until thickened, about 3 to 4 minutes.
Makes about 1 cup.
******************************
Lemony Baked Stuffed Whiting
Baked Fish bread stuffed whiting herbed stuffed whiting stuffed and baked fish
Ingredients 1 tablespoon unsalted margarine 2 medium size yellow onions, chopped fine 1 clove garlic, minced 1/2 cup fine dry bread crumbs 2 tablespoons minced parsley 1 teaspoon grated lemon rind 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 4 whole whiting or perch, scaled and cleaned 1/3 cup dry white wine
Directions Preheat the oven to 400°F. In a heavy 10 inch skillet, melt the margarine over moderate heat; add the onions and cook, uncovered, until soft about 5 minutes. Remove the skillet from the heat. Transfer half of the onion to a bowl; add the garlic, bread crumbs, parsley, lemon rind, and pepper, and toss lightly to mix. Stuff each whiting with 1/4 of the mixture and close it with toothpicks. Sprinkle half of the remaining onion over a lightly greased 13"x 9"x 2" baking pan; arrange the fish on top in a single layer and scatter the rest of the onion over them. Pour in the wine, then cover the pan snugly with aluminum foil. Bake for 30 minutes or until the fish flakes easily when tested with a fork. ****************************** end of pg 1 go to pg 2
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Our Daily Devotional:
Bound for Freedom
John 8:32, NIV: "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
We are often bound by so many chains. Some chains are the invisible ties that bind you, and can elude you for great lengths of time before being discovered. Some chains are known to you, yet you have not discovered how to be set free from them. Perhaps some of them have held you for so long that you have grown accustomed to them, and have decided that they are something you will just have to live with. But if you seek His truth, His truth will set you free...right? Can you agree? Perhaps you have tried to be free from something, and feel that you are seeking Christ's truth regarding it. Then why is it you still feel chained? Perhaps the chains that hold you are those of misunderstanding God's purpose within a heartache or trial. Maybe you have not surrendered to Him by saying, "Lord, I don't understand. But I know you have my best interest at heart. Thy will be done." God's will never chains you but sets you free. Sometimes it frees you from expecting Him to answer you according to your will. There is no question His truth sets you free. But the freedom He brings does not promise freedom from troubles--but freedom in the midst of them.
Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the LORD, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks. - Jeremiah 16:16
**********************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
hug·ger-mug·ger [huhg-er-muhg-er] –noun
1. disorder or confusion; muddle. 2. secrecy; reticence: Why is there such hugger-mugger about the scheme? –adjective 3. secret or clandestine. 4. disorderly or confused. –verb (used with object) 5. to keep secret or concealed; hush up. –verb (used without object) 6. to act secretly.
Origin: 1520–30; earlier hucker-mucker, rhyming compound based on mucker, Middle English mokeren to hoard
************************* "You are a living magnet. What you attract into your life is in harmony with your dominant thoughts." - Brian Tracy
THINGS TO PONDER: If Cheese is made of milk why is it yellow?
You might be a REDNECK if... ...the taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
You might be a REDNECK if... ...your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
THINGS TO PONDER: What is the purpose of that little ball on top of the flagpole?
************************* Removing Hairspray Residue from Walls By Heloise Q: It's impossible to keep the overspray from hair products off the walls of my two small bathrooms. Is there anything I can use to clean it? My husband is getting tired of repainting!
A: Try isopropyl or rubbing alcohol. Pour a bit on a microfiber cloth to dampen (not soak), and rub it — in a circle one way, then the other — on a small area to test. Check the cloth: If the paint color is transferring, repainting may be your only option. If it's not, continue around the walls; let the alcohol dry. A hint to prevent: Stand in the shower to spray, and wash it away with the next bath.
****************************** Strawberry Cake from Scratch
"It is hard to find scratch strawberry cakes, so this one is worth it weight in gold to me as a caterer. I made this cake for a child's birthday party. It was a major hit! Frost with cream cheese or vanilla frosting - or for a treat, use a chocolate glaze!" Prep Time: 10 Min Cook Time: 30 Min Ready In: 40 Min Servings (Help)
Original Recipe Yield 2 - 9 inch cake layers
Ingredients
2 cups white sugar 1 (3 ounce) package strawberry flavored gelatin 1 cup butter, softened 4 eggs (room temperature) 2 3/4 cups sifted cake flour 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1 cup whole milk, room temperature 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 1/2 cup strawberry puree made from frozen sweetened strawberries Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 9 inch round cake pans. In a large bowl, cream together the butter, sugar and dry strawberry gelatin until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs one at a time, mixing well after each. Combine the flour and baking powder; stir into the batter alternately with the milk. Blend in vanilla and strawberry puree. Divide the batter evenly between the prepared pans. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes in the preheated oven, or until a small knife inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Allow cakes to cool in their pans over a wire rack for at least 10 minutes, before tapping out to cool completely. Nutritional Information
Amount Per Serving Calories: 393 | Total Fat: 15.4g | Cholesterol: 97mg ****************************** Simple White Cake
Prep Time:20 Min Cook Time:30 Min Ready In:50 Min
Original Recipe Yield 12 cupcakes or 1- 9x9 inch pan
Ingredients
1 cup white sugar 1/2 cup butter 2 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 cup milk
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x9 inch pan or line a muffin pan with paper liners. In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine flour and baking powder, add to the creamed mixture and mix well. Finally stir in the milk until batter is smooth. Pour or spoon batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes in the preheated oven. For cupcakes, bake 20 to 25 minutes. Cake is done when it springs back to the touch. ****************************** Strawberry Shortcake Cake
Prep Time: 1Minute Cook Time: 45 Minutes Difficulty: Easy Servings: 10
Ingredients Cake
1-½ cup Flour 3 Tablespoons Corn Starch ½ teaspoons Salt 1 teaspoon Baking Soda 9 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter, Softened 1-½ cup Sugar 3 whole Large Eggs ½ cups Sour Cream, Room Temperature 1 teaspoon Vanilla _____ Icing ½ pounds Cream Cheese, Room Temperature 2 sticks Unsalted Butter 1-½ pound Powdered Sugar, Sifted 1 teaspoon Vanilla 1 pound Strawberries
Instructions
IMPORTANT: Be sure to use a cake pan that’s at least 2 inches deep! Before baking, the batter should not fill the pan more than halfway. Sift together flour, salt, baking soda, and corn starch. Cream 9 tablespoons butter with the sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, mixing well each time. Add sour cream and vanilla and mix until combined. Add sifted dry ingredients and mix on low speed until just barely combined. Pour into greased and floured 8-inch cake pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes, or until no longer jiggly like my bottom. Remove from cake pan as soon as you pull it out of the oven, and place on a cooling rack and allow it to cool completely. Stem strawberries and slice them in half from bottom to top. Place into a bowl and sprinkle with 3 tablespoons sugar. Stir together and let sit for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, mash the strawberries in two batches. Sprinkle each half with 1 tablespoons sugar and allow to sit for another 30 minutes.
Make icing: combine cream cheese, 2 sticks butter, sifted powdered sugar, vanilla, and dash of salt in a mixing bowl. Mix until very light and fluffy. Slice cake in half through the middle. Spread strawberries evenly over each half (cut side up), pouring on all the juices. Place cake halves into the freezer for five minutes, just to make icing easier.
Remove from freezer. Use a little less than 1/3 of the icing to spread over the top of the strawberries on the bottom layer. Place the second layer on top. Add half of the remaining icing to the top spreading evenly, then spread the remaining 1/3 cup around the sides. Leave plain OR garnish with strawberry halves.
IMPORTANT: Cake is best when served slightly cool. The butter content in the icing will cause it to soften at room temperature. For best results, store in the fridge!
****************************** Strawberry Shortcake Cake
Cake: 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature 3/4 cup plus 2 tbsp sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 eggs 1 1/2 cups cake flour 2 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp salt 2/3 cup buttermilk
1 1/2 - 2 cups heavy cream
Fresh Strawberry Filling (See the book for this recipe that includes rosewater...I just macerated some strawberries with sugar)
Whole strawberries, for garnish
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. I made mine with two 8" cake pans. The original recipes calls for three 6" pans. 2. Cream butter, 3/4 cup sugar and vanilla in the bowl of an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl after each addition. 3. Sift together cake flour, baking powder, and salt. 4. Add dry ingredients to the batter, alternating with the buttermilk in 3 additions. Divide among the prepared pans. 5. I don't remember how long I baked my 8" pans. The 6" pans bake for 20-25 minutes. I pulled them out when a toothpick came out clean. I let them cool for 10 minutes and then cooled them on a cake rack.
Assembly: 1. In a large chilled bowl, whip the cream with the remaining 2 tbsp of sugar until stiff. 2. Assemble the cake with cake, strawberries, whipped cream and repeat. Finish with your best strawberries on top. Enjoy! ****************************** Old-Fashioned Strawberry Shortcake
Cook Time: 15 minutes Total Time: 15 minutes
Ingredients:
Biscuits: 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons sugar 1 stick butter, chilled 2/3 to 3/4 cup half and half, milk, or cream . Filling: 1 quart strawberries 1/3 cup sugar . 1 1/2 cups whipping cream for topping, or non-dairy whipped topping
Preparation:
Rinse the berries under cold water; drain well. Hull and slice the berries; place in a bowl. Sprinkle with the sugar; cover and let stand at room temperature for about 1 hour. Whip the cream (sweeten with 2 or 3 tablespoons of sugar, if desired) until it holds a soft peak. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Set rack at center level.
In a food processor (you can use a pastry cutter or fingertips) combine the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar and pulse to mix. Cut butter into about 8 pieces and add to the mixture. Pulse until the mixture resembles coarse meal, but with few pea-size chunks of butter left in the mixture. Transfer the mixture to a large bowl and make a well in the center. With a fork stir in the cream or milk, just until dough is moist. Be very careful not to overwork. The dough doesn't have to hold together well at this point. Let the dough stand for a minute. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Fold the dough over on itself (knead) 2 or 3 times, until it is holding together and is less sticky.
Gently pat the dough into a 6 by 12-inch rectangle about 3/4-inch thick and cut into 8 (3-inch) biscuits with a floured round cutter. Transfer to a buttered foil-lined cookie sheet. Brush on a little milk or cream and sprinkle tops with some sugar, if desired. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes, until risen and golden brown. Remove to a platter and split each biscuit horizontally with a serrated knife. Butter the hot buscuits then top with about 1/3 cup of berry mixture. Replace the tops and top with a tablespoon or so of berries. Serve with whipped cream for topping. Serves 8. ****************************** Strawberry Cake Adapted from Martha Stewart
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 cup granulated sugar 1 large egg 1/2 cup buttermilk 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1 pound strawberries, hulled and sliced 2 tablespoons turbinado sugar, for sprinkling on top of cake
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 10-inch springform pan or pie plate. Sift flour, baking powder, and salt together into a medium bowl. Set aside.
2. Put butter and 1 cup sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add in egg, buttermilk, and vanilla extract. Mix until combined.
3. Gradually mix in flour mixture. Transfer batter to prepared pan. Arrange strawberry slices on top of batter. Sprinkle turbinado sugar over berries.
4. Bake cake 10 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 325 degrees. Bake until cake is golden brown and firm to the touch, about 50-55 minutes. Let cool in pan. To serve, cut into wedges. Store cake at room temperature, for up to two days.
Serves 10 ****************************** There was an article recently in the St. Petersburg , Fl. Times business Section that asked readers for their ideas on: "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I think this guy nailed it!
Dear Mr. President,
Please find below my suggestions for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars (in so-called 'bailouts') to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the "Patriotic Retirement Plan":
There are about 40 million Americans over age 50 in todays work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement, with only the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new AMERICAN Car. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their existing mortgage - Housing Crisis is fixed.
It can't get any easier than that!!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of Congress pay their taxes..
Mr. President, while you're at it, make Congress retire on Social Security and Medicare. I'll bet both programs would be fixed pronto!
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
If not, please disregard.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting '...MAN, WHAT A RIDE!!!!'
" Reality is what's left when all other options have been exhausted"
****************************** Tip on Changes in Senior Dogs By: Petplace Staff
What changes can I expect, as my dog becomes a senior?
You may first notice changes in your dog's activity level. Similar to people, elderly dogs may not have the same amount of energy they once did.
It is common to see weight changes in your senior dog. With the change in your senior dogs' activity level metabolic changes could result in weight gain or loss.
Many diseases are more prevalent in senior dogs. These diseases include, but are not limited to: dental, heart and kidney disease; as well as diabetes, arthritis, cancer and cognitive function disorder. The following symptoms are common signs that your senior pet may be ill:
- Increase thirst or urination - Bad breath - Difficulty climbing stairs or jumping up and/or increased stiffness or limping - Excessive panting or barking - Confusion or disorientation - Changes in skin and hair coat
During your dog's senior years, you'll probably observe gradual or sudden changes in health and behavior. Your veterinarian will help determine whether these changes are due to illness, a reaction to medications, or the natural aging process.
Here are some questions that owners commonly ask about the health, habits and behavior of their older dogs.
Question: How will medication affect my dog?
Answer: Medications can cause weight loss or gain, vomiting, depression, lethargy, loss of balance, increased thirst, drooling, shivering or other symptoms that mimic minor or major illness. Ask your veterinarian about common side effects of any medication prescribed for your dog. Be sure to tell him if your dog is already taking another drug, since a combination of drugs can cause side effects. If you think medication is having a negative effect on your dog, call your veterinarian for advice.
Q: Why is my dog gaining weight?
A: The aches and pains of old age may prevent your dog from moving as freely as she once did. She may have developed a touch of arthritis or stiffness in the joints. Hormonal changes may also slow down the metabolism. Medications may add extra girth.
Walk your dog and play with her daily. You'll have to engage her in gentler activities than when she was young, but she still needs her exercise.
Discuss changing her diet with your vet. Seniors need nutritious diets that are higher in fiber, but lower in fat and calories. It's your job to help her keep her weight down, since obesity can make her more susceptible to diabetes, arthritis and heart problems.
Q: Why is my dog losing weight?
A: Is she eating? Are her teeth strong and mouth and gums healthy? Is her neck arthritic? She won't eat if it's a painful process. Age or medications can reduce her senses of smell and taste, which, of course, decreases her appetite. Metabolic disorders and heart or liver trouble can cause weight loss, regardless of how much she eats.
Try feeding the dog a veterinary-prescribed diet in frequent, smaller meals. If her memory or eyesight is failing, be sure to put her food and water bowls in the same place every day. To prevent strain on her aging spine, elevate the bowls to the level of her head.
Q: What if my dog has more than doggy breath?
A: Tooth or gum disease, accompanied by bumps on the gums or tartar on the teeth, are the most common reasons for extreme doggy breath. If you don't brush her teeth regularly, ask your vet to show you how. You'll probably need to do it daily. Chewing on synthetic bones, biscuits or hard rubber toys will help her prevent tartar build-up.
An unusually foul smell, accompanied by lack of appetite and frequent vomiting, could indicate liver disease. Kidney disease adds a hint of urine to the breath. Very sweet or fruity breath could indicate diabetes, especially if she 's been drinking and urinating more than usual.
Q: Why does my dog seems unusually thirsty?
A: Is her water bowl convenient? Always keep fresh, cool water available, not only beside her food bowl, but in the yard and on each floor of your home. Diabetes, a fairly common ailment of old age that also increases appetite, could be the culprit.
Q: Why does my dog toss and turn at night?
A: She may need an orthopedic dog bed to give her support to counter arthritis. Also, older dogs tend to develop painful elbow calluses that are more comfortable on soft bedding. The urge to urinate or defecate more often can also keep her awake. A syndrome called Canine Cognitive Dysfunction (CCD), akin to Alzheimer's disease in humans, also affects sleep patterns.
Q: Why does my dog nap more than ever?
A: She may just be bored. Decreased stimulation because of poor hearing or sight and less activity because of arthritis can make your dog depressed. The urge to urinate or defecate more can disturb nighttime sleep. Medication and hormonal or heart problems can also make a dog drowsy. Or, CCD could be throwing off your dog's sleep cycle, so that she roams restlessly at night and naps during the day.
Q: Why has my dog has started bumping into things?
A: Failing eyesight is a bane of old age, but dogs learn to compensate. Make your home a safe environment with clear walkways. If you need to rearrange furniture, lead the dog around until she gets a feeling for her surroundings. Always greet her with a gentle voice before touching or petting her. Block entrance to stairs so she doesn't fall. Don't let her leave home without a human companion and keep her leashed when she goes out.
Q: Why won't my dog come when called?
A: Deafness is the most probable reason. If that is the cause, you can teach her hand signals. And, since many deaf dogs are sensitive to vibrations, clapping hands or stomping on the floor may also get her attention.
Arthritis, which makes moving painful, may be another reason she's unwilling to respond, along with more serious medical conditions, such as heart disease. If your dog has trouble seeing or hearing, it's still important that she exercise and play. On days when she prefers sleep and inactivity, spend time petting her and talking with her. Massage is an excellent way to keep her joints working and muscles warm and limber.
Q: Why did my gentle dog snap at me/my child?
A: Senior dogs display aggression for several reasons. Does your dog have vision problems? Is she hard of hearing? If so, you may have surprised her. The physical and mental symptoms of aging also increase your dog's stress level. Because of arthritis or other movement restrictions, she may not be able to remove herself from an annoying situation as she once could. Changes – moving, a new family member, a high noise level, the quick movements of children - can be frightening, adding to her stress and its resulting aggression. Her behavior also could be a symptom of CCD. Don't leave your own child or a visitor alone with an aggressive senior dog, even though there hasn't been a problem in the past.
Q: Why did my dog snap at my younger dog?
A: As your dog's faculties decline, her dominant status in a multi-pet household may be challenged. When younger dogs test her authority, she may become aggressive. Honor her dominance as you have in the past, but make it clear to all of your dogs that you are the real leader of their pack. You may have to separate your dogs when you leave them home alone.
Q: Why has my dog forgotten her house-training?
A: As your dog ages, soiling the house becomes more common. A weak bladder, failing kidneys or an inflamed bowel is the usual explanation. But forgetting longtime habits may also be a sign of CCD. Besides medication, letting her go outside more often to urinate and defecate helps tremendously.
Q: Why is my dog constipated?
A: You may need to change your dog's diet and feed her smaller meals more frequently. She may no longer be able to tolerate table scraps. Eating more fiber will help move food through her intestines.
But be observant. Arthritis of the hip or spine and hip dysplasia can result in such painful bowel movements that your dog is reluctant to defecate. An enlarged prostate in males, or tumors, can cause blockages or pain.
Q: Why doesn't my dog want to go outside?
A: As a dog ages, she loses her ability to adjust to changes in temperatures. Her drier skin and thinner hair offer her less protection and her metabolism makes her less resilient. During extreme weather, limit her time outdoors. In heat and humidity, remember that a dog pants to cool her body, and that older lungs are not as efficient. If her vision and hearing are not as sharp as they once were, she may be frightened of being out in the open. Always keep her on a leash and stay close to reassure her when she's outdoors.
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