2008/25/7 0938EST

Welcome home dear hearts, welcome home!

Git in here and set a spell... just me and the dogs... feet propped up, drinking my coffee and reading the newspapers...Bought them yesterday at the grocery store in town... Still haven't read the ones from 3 weeks ago.. I'll get around to them... maybe... eventually...or not... lolol

The rotten Brat,, the Bear is back home... He and his lovely wife have been vacationing and motoring around... haven't heard yet whether they got into any trouble or not... All I know is: I was going into 'Broom thumping' withdrawal... Broom and I threaten to 'visit' if he doesn't behave. Gotcha Bear! lolol

Two evenings ago, Anna stopped by on her way to church to drop off another fried apple pie. This time she had a peach (homegrown) fried pie added.... Can you say: OMG! the calories! Oh, she is the best cook! Talk about your basic goodies...My my! Well, I pigged out on both of those... saved some for midnite snack...

Have to wish Pcmacphoto a happy birthday! This is one really nice feller but he ain't too bright either... Guess who has a 'Newbie' dog? Oh yeah... and Pc has a few more months to go also on the doggy terrible twos... lolol If Pc is like I am, he wouldn't take anything for his dog except for sometimes...lololol (at least once a day)...

The Boss has posted some outstanding art works in the Elite Joiners group... Go have a look... I was impressed! 

Well, Wednesday, I went out to check the pond since there is water in it now... Guess what I discovered?!? The hose to the water fall had been pulled away from fall... all the water had pumped out, not dried out at all! My fish died, the water lilies were cooking in the sun... three heavy rocks had been moved...there were no teeth marks on the hose... Ponder ponder! Had a similar event occur last year but I caught it before the pond was pumped dry. I don't believe in coincidences! 

Yesterday, when I went out to get in truck for my trip to town, I found the top part of small maple (4" diameter trunk) on the ground...Was ok on Wednesday nite...no winds to speak of over nite and the top part was on the ground? I still don't believe in coincidences... if you get my drift!

What else? Marv was grumping about the lateness of the News... I told KK... KK said: Marv is spoiled! Oh boy! She said to be sure to tell him what she had said... Ok... It is now out in the open! and I am heading for the safety of the FOS. Marv did a big gotcha on the KK a while back and KK is looking to get even...I just hope the messenger (me) doesn't get injured in the fray! 

Later chill'uns... meems is going to throw dogs and caution to the winds and take a nap! oh yeah!

Take care all of mine... go in safety always... live, laff, love, tease and torment, enjoy life! hugs and love... meems

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2008/24/7 1457 EST

Gee whiz, I don't know where to start... have a head full of info and minor goings on's...

Before I go any farther here, I want to send special hugs and smooches and all that sugary mushy stuff to all the people who responded to a call for assistance... You know who you are and what I am talking about! I am so proud to be part of you wonderful people...You are my heros... each and everyone of you... When I saw the heart and care, I lost my composure...got keyboard and ankles both wet! Love you, mine!

Let me see, ahhh... oh yes! My trip to town... First of all I drove the river route going into town. It is one mile shorter than Rte 30. The road is narrow, winding, filled with dangerous curves and drop offs but the view is spectacular in the mornings or late afternoons! The distant mountains... the mimosa blooming... a hen turkey in the roadway just below the house... a young buck in the open munching on the cover crop!

Cloud formations were wild and wonderful... and my fly guys were up there playing tic tac toe... stitching some of the clouds together they made a huge star asterisk pattern... Wowser guys! Well done...hugs

I made to the bank... went in to get cigs that Beck picked up for me last nite... lolol I had the best time... I did gotchas on the other two tellers and a biggy on the Becky! All I need to do is say the word 'quilt' and she turns beet red! Well, I got tickled and was laffing so hard I cried! she, Beck, had me thrown out of the bank! lolol The quilt thing is an inside joke and she never ever knows what I might or will say... Beck's daughter, Kesia, works there too...She came down from the office upstairs and joined in the devilment... The other tellers get out of hand too whenever I visit... Must be my pleasing disposition or sumfin cause when I went out the door the head teller was still laffing...Becky was giving me 'the looks could kill' look...Kesia was cracking up and two customers who stayed to observe the mayhem gave me the startled deer in the headlites look...I sailed on out the door leaving a wake of sheer consternation behind me! I love it!

Didn't quite get thrown out of Action Team when I dropped off the paintings...but it was a near miss... I met Pogo's new hubby... Very nice young man.... I could tell he didn't quite know what to make of this lil old lady... Pogo will explain... lololol

Then I went to the Family $ where nothing is a dollar anymore... Linda was working... had to drag her out of the office... two new employees didn't quite know what to make of me...lolol No surprise there! Finally a stop at the drugstore... tormented the pharmacist and the cashier... Decided I was starting to run out of steam... best be heading home! 

So here I am... ready to take a nap... but bed is covered with dogs! Sheesh! 

Later all of mine... go in safety always... and never ever take me shopping! I am a danger to all! LOLOL Live, love, laff and let the devil take the hindmost... love and hugs meems

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2008/23/7 1334 est 

Hey all of mine... Come on in and set a spell... got the makings for sundaes and cones and cold drinks....Some cooler out there and that is a blessing...every body has been fed and watered....First things first, no matter what Marv says! lolol Gotcha Sweets! So hush!

Had to call tech support late last nite... couldn't get on the net again...I think we are in business for a while! Maybe!

Newbie tried to climb in lap again and while he was at it he drooled on my keyboard... then he sprawled under the swinging chair and played tether ball with my posterior again... Yelling quit does not deter him at all! Oh no, not him... he just lays there grinning at me! " I got mom's attention written all over his face". Rotten dog... him is funny tho and loveable!

The Boss has been up to no good again... He played a game of 'gotcha' on the elite joiners group. lololol I just caught the joke this morning and cracked up.... Gots ta watch the Boss ladies, him can be very sneaky! lolol Got the giggles now! The Garymeister can lull you into a false sense of security, leave you to soak in it for a while, then pull the rug right out from under you! Been there and had it happen to me more than once! I do get even tho! lolol

As I was posting the News to the different groups (by request) I, of course, posted a copy to the Chit Chat Chums group... my first real home on Eons...I discovered my 'logo' for the Mountain News had an unexpected addition...the three stickmen the Boss is now using for the CCC logo... I fell off the chair with the giggles! He got me again!...Ya know, it just dawned on me who the Newbie reminds me of... lolol They both have a similar mind set and an outrageous sense of humor... Keep me on my toes, they do! Oh yeah!

A memory... When I was a newbie at the SO, I received a call one nite from a male subject. The complainant advised the sighting of a troll under the Indian Creek bridge...Oh gee! a biggy event in the making! I requested more info... What is troll doing? Reply was "trolling!"

I asked more questions... is troll intoxicated? No.. armed? No..too loud? No.. trespassing? No.. vandalizing anything? no....Blocking traffic? No.. What is the complaint then? Male: well, he's trolling! .... My final reply ... 'Sir, if anything changes, be sure to call me back... Troll is only being a troll and that's what trolls do!' I think I ruined someone's gotcha!
I laffed till I cried after I got off the phone... Never ever again heard a complaint about trolls and trolling till I arrived on Eons! lolol 

Then there was the dui subject, driving on busy two lane state route in the wee hours of the morning...He was 'driving' a motorized wheelchair... The guys collected him and took him home... 

Then there was the bull in the flower bed.....and the story about the pumpkin pie and the story about the new coffee pot!

Gots to get going... need to run into town tomorrow... Not that I really want to but I have some things to drop off and some supplies to bring home...

Later all of mine... take care, go in safety always... enjoy each day as it is given to you... laff and love... be kind... hugs and love... meems

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2008/22/7 1200EST...

Hey all of mine! Welcome home dear hearts, welcome home... Come on in and set a spell... Cool off and relax... There's snacks and cold stuff to drink... help selves cause y'all know where everything is... 

Ah, the thrills of living alone! When I lived up north and was still working, I received numerous obscene phone calls...lolol Now, working as a dispatcher and having a very distinctive voice, prompted all types of calls to my home. I was technically on duty 24 hours a day especially when I worked at the SO. I had to answer the phone! This was before the days of 911 and there was no caller ID. 

Also, being an artist, I had to have my name listed in the phone book for possible customers. For my own safety, I did not list my address. I kept my updated information out of the local Criss/cross book, again for safety.

Note of caution: the following might be a little crude for some... 

Phone rings... I answer...

Male voice... Hi, what are you doing?
Me... Nothing really...
Male... watching television?
Me... yes but there's not much on...
Male... Can I come over?
Me... depends on who this is...
Male... can I come over?
Me... Who is this?
Male... Can I come over?
Me... with a slight chuckle, I reply... Aw this is my little obscene phone breather! and then I giggled
Male... don't laff like that, you make it get soft!
Me... Dropped phone on floor, I howled with lafter and giggled like an idiot! 

The guy never did call back... was it sumfin I said? lololol

And then there was the guy on the front porch...

Coming down from the second floor late one night, I saw my male chow chow at the front porch window....break window and just step in situation... Rascal was snorting (his basic warning alert) Hmm! 

Just the week before, an elderly lady who lived two houses away from me, had been injured by a burglar. He was looking for drugs. Well now, I could have called up town and had a police response but didn't. I just walked over and turned the porch lite on... the prowler ran!

Then next nite, Rascal was alarm snorting at a side window which was hidden from street view. I promptly went upstairs, grabbed the pistol and came back down the steps... Walked over to the archway between the living room and dining room, leaned against the frame. Safety off, round in the chamber... Dog still snorting at window...I bellowed... "Come on in, BAD WORD used here! I need new carpet anyway! 

Well, My invite took care of that situation too...Never had that happen again.... was it sumfin I said? lolol I really can be very charming at times... Oh yeah!

Let's see... Graywolf has been off line for a while and just got back on. The storm gods nailed him. Welcome back, sugar.. KK is still fussing with her puters... The Boss is up to no good (as usual), Marv is busy being Marv (a full time job) and I am trying to stay out of trouble (an impossibility!

Took a Snob personality test posted in the Elite Joiners Group... Seems that I scored a 33% which means I am 'sort of snobby'..Well, I don't suffer fools lightly...but I am cute! lolol Now Now, be nice... I am old and feeble! and do I have the giggles now? Oh yeah! 

Later all of mine... take care and go in safety. Laff, see the humor in yourself and those around you. Enjoy and be happy... love and hugs meems....

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2008/21/7 1241 EST

2008 only comes around one time, right?!? I hope this is true cause I sure don't want to repeat it! Now I have two holes in the peak area of west side of house.. all kinks of questions here... Is it weather related? Did Mr A fire some rounds at the house? Had to call all kinds of ppl to get estimates... nobody home right now...lolol so I must call back... it's hotter'n Hades out side, in a drought situation, ticks are terrible, the dogs are grumpy and I ain't in a much better mood myself...lolol 

I think I have all that out of my system but I ain't sure! I think I want to giggle... 

Now then, KK's laptop, her newest one, is sick and she is working on one that is a year out of date... See/read her blog for a humorous description of the problems that arise from being a puter person... hugs honey... it will get better and that is a definite maybe! You can count on it!

Let's see here... Yesterday was Suzy's b'day... didn't realize until late yesterday that she has no 'gift' on her profile.... Sorry Babes... I send you a belated hugs for your birthday... enjoy many, many more and keep up the good work! 

Have two new members in VNV.. Improvable and Reform302. Now those are two handles I can definitely relate to! lolol Hey guys, welcome aboard and welcome home.

Have more stories but the weather alerts are coming in very rapidly... gonna be shut down for a while... Don't want to lose puter too...

Later all of mine... hugs and love... go in safety always.. Paula

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2008/20/7 1200 est

Welcome home all of mine, my dear hearts...Welcome home! Get in here and cool off some... This weather tain't fit for man nor beast! I'm quoting somebody there but I have no idea who. lolol 

The following is a commentary from the MN's roving reporter: 
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FROM: jas2maui (Donna in Hawaii)
DATE: 07/19/2008

7-19-08...Coconut Wireless to Emom’s Mountain News…Newsflash on BBB (Bamboo Bulletin Board) this a.m. read as follows. SATURDAY…Sweltering summer temperatures caused Local Mountain Woman to experience slight mental meltdown leading to admission “I am a mess”. A shower and return of giggles cooled down this loveable but temporarily steamed LoMoWo. Seems Yahoo’s MIA…grass cutter’s mower tangled with hose leading from parched pond…and in-house hornet close encounter caused woman to story tell again. 

Apparently in the before days…accustomed to fiascos this normally calm cool collected composed LoMoWo was found by her dogs playing a most puzzling new game called “PJs pin me down time” Apparently said woman could not maneuver body housed in flannel nightgown onto cotton bed sheet causing most provocative positioning of lower rump region. Dazed and discombobulated she finally regained momentum and was able to extricate herself never to play the game again. Word has it that fiascos frequently follow LoMoWo who fortunately has the ability to recover and retell with grit and gusto.

Ed's note... The management is not responsible for any comments coming from the BBB in Hawaii... gotcha Donna!
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I am always amazed at the interesting people I find in my internet travels... Wonderfully bright and intelligent people who are filled with humor and knowledge. I read the new posts every day...I read the pms and emails... I laff and I cry with all my friends. My heart breaks for some and I cry...and a give a smiling YES!!! when there is good news. 

Thank you so very much all my dear ones out there; those who keep me going every day. I won't name names here cause y'all know who you are... I value every one of you. 

IN MEMORIUM: We mourn the loss of one of ours. Claude W. Wiles, USMC...71 years of age...Served in Guam in the 1950's. Go in safety, dear heart... rest in peace.

Bye for now, dear hearts. I am off and running to the paintbrushes. Take care, go in safety always... Live every day, dear ones, drink of life to the fullest of your abilities, laff, giggle, love and always, above all, be kind to one another.... Love and hugs to all of mine... emom/Paula

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2008/18/7 1159EST

Hey everybody! Get in here out of the heat! Gonna be a scorcher today for sure! 89° and still climbing! Got cold and hot stuff to drink.... lemonade... limeade...iced tea.... iced coffee and then the regular stuff. Y'all know where everything is, so help selves while I get myself sorted out! Man, I am a mess! And I certainly need a shower! As soon as I finish this, that is where I am heading...

Lordy pete, yesterday was really a bummer but it did get funny after a while! Y'all know I've been having problems with Yahoo. Me, in my way of thinking, figured it was all straightened out... WRONG! 

Yahoo did a number on me, the server dropped me, and my IPS would only give me an error report... Can you say: Lost her mind, temper, sanity (of which I have little left), composure (this word is no longer in my 'book')? Oh yeah! I couldn't get on-line to send an email... could get to Opera but not to Eons so no pm's went out either.... and here I sit just a fuming...Mt St Helens had nothing on me as far as an eruption goes! Had to laff at myself tho, all the fussing, ranting, raving, and fuming didn't change a thing! lolol Just my kind of luck!

Grass cutter is out here today... started mowing and promptly got tangled in a hose line that runs to my now totally dry pond! He came in to cool off... figuratively and literally! Caught up on the latest from greater downtown Booneville... too funny some of the stuff he relayed. He is now outside again mowing but had to cut the hose to pieces to get mower free. You just know it's gonna be a bad day when your riding mower snags a section of hose and wraps said hose around the mower blades! I thought it was funny... he didn't...lolol 

Well shoot! Now I have a hornet in here... Just what I need! 

Yesterday, I recieved a nice and funny comment from Onetoejeff! Now this guy has a wonderful sense of the ridiculous! He thought the following article was written by me but it wasn't. Jas2maui (Donna) in Hawaii wrote her comment on the News but as we all know, I didn't get the chance to write it yesterday... The following is her comment on the Hellbender critter:

FROM:jas2maui (Donna) 

DATE: 07/17/2008
7-17-08...Coconut Wireless to Emom’s Mountain News…Newsflash on BBB (Bamboo Bulletin Board) this a.m. read as follows. THURSDAY…Local Mountain Woman is telling stories again. Memories from motherhood are popping up right and left. Seems Meems had unexpected company in kitchen sink way back when. Clever thinking saved nasty looking critter (photo below) even though oldest son thought different. Ed note: photo did not transfer.

Stories of LoMoWo’s attracting strange looking critters have circulated for years throughout local community. Rumor has it her ability to magnetize unusual critters…cronies…and current events started way back in childhood. 

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Thanks Donna... you make me laff... but you do make me look worse... nah! Scratch that! Nothing or nobody could make me look any worse than I already do! lolol

Let's see here, Marv is grumping about no news yesterday... He'll get over it, I'm sure... especially since I am late today! Hugs sweetie...lol

I was gonna tell you about the flannel nite gown fiasco but.... Oh well, since I have started it, I might just as well finish it right now.

When I first moved over on Cow Creek, I didn't have a bed... slept on the floor for a while on an air mattress. Trust me, them things ain't worth a dime! Any way, I bought enuf materials to make a small porch and steps for the back door of the trailer (safety first!)... the property owner decided she did not want a porch there...ok, now I have the wood... no bed.. voila! I now have the makings for a bed! Hired a friend to put one together for me. 

I had him raise the bed two or three feet off the floor so I could use the space underneath to store things. This worked really well! I now have a box on 4 sturdy legs and more storage space but top of bed is at least 3' above floor level... I have no trouble at all climbing into bed... I have my storage space... the dogs can still make it onto the bed... no problem there either UNTIL the night I switched from summer gowns to winter attire!

Now let me tell you, flannel night gowns do NOT slide on cotton sheets. LOL They do, however, stick to the sheet and not move! I get ready for bed... climb up onto bed and before I know what happened, I find myself in a most unladylike pose... I have crawled up the inside of the night gown...my knees are now under my chin... rump in the air... Oh, this was really too cute... My arms are pinned by the long sleeves...I couldn't move... Now what do I do?!? Then I got tickled (I am totally helpless when I have a fit of the giggles), the dogs thot I was playing a new game which did not help me one little bit either! I finally just fell over on my side and managed, with no help from the critters, to get myself untangled. I got out of the bed and promptly threw the flannel gown in the rag bin... went back to summer gowns and put another blanket on the bed! Problem solved! 

I am running out of space again! Welcome home dear hearts, all of mine, welcome home. Stay cool, stay out of trouble and for goodness sake don't wear flannel to bed... that stuff is dangerous... Kids, laff, love, hug, and have a good time... love and hugs to all of mine... Go in safety always... Meems

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2008/17/7 1045EST...

Git in here! Welcome home dear hearts, welcome home. Gonna be a hot one again today... Sheesh! Almost 90° and not a cloud in the sky! Yesterday, on the sunny side of the house, the thermometer said 101... tooooooo hot!

The 6 Pack doesn't like the heat either. Had 'em underfoot all day long! Right now, there are 2 on the bed... Lily is in her corner asleep...Newbie is part way under my chair... Spud is along side me and Pyg's is sleeping on my foot! Is that all six? wait... Yup all six are down for the count right now...lolol

I wasn't out of bed very long, on my second cup of coffee and I get a page from the Garymeister! A 'Tugboat toot' first thing in the morning... lolol I cracked up... I responded in a most lady like manner (that's a lie... lol ) Is "WHAT!" lady like? Got the giggles now...

The Boss man has decided Chit Chat Chums group needs a new look and an overhaul! OK! I can handle that, I think. Has new logo, Stickpeople... Ok! I can handle that too! Now he is having a Stickman Festival? Now THIS I am not too sure about! Stickman Festival??? I am pondering ... Well, it won't hurt to check it out... might just be interesting and look at all the trouble you can get into with a new system!

Oh here is a yucky pucks critter story just for the Marv and Vtol! lolol 

Many moons ago, the family lived in a 10 room three story house up in Ohio. I came home from work and found a Hellbender in the kitchen sink! 

First, let me tell you about a Hellbender... Poor thing is one of the ugliest critters I have ever seen... Truly only a mother or another Hellbender would or could find any beauty in the creature. A Hellbender goes by several names... Mud Puppy is another one or Water Dog....Then there are the greater/lesser Sirens...

The critter has a shovel shaped nose/head... the color of spotted mud... has fleshy looking, finger shaped appendages at gill slits and is very very slimy! An all together amazing animal that lives in our rivers and streams. LOL and it can grow to several feet in length!

Knowing this 8" critter in my sink was a water loving animal, I turned on the water in the sink and covered it... City water is not the best idea for a country living critter but it was the best I could do for the moment. I went on upstairs to change clothes.

Glen, the oldest boy, came home and found the water in the sink with the Hellbender! Glen was not happy! lolol I hear bellowing from below! MOM! You're gonna drown it! Well, a lot of discussion went on between the upstairs and downstairs for a few minutes... but we finally got it straightened out and Glen did learn something.

Maybe some day I will tell you about the two footer I found in my pond on Cow Creek! Compliments of a neighbor who thot I might like to see one that large! OK... no problem! I wasn't too happy because I was stuck with the job of putting it back in the creek and it weighed a ton!

Just another day in the life of a addled Mountain Woman! Laffing and giggling here! I have had some really good times...Oh yeah!

Well, gang... I am off to see what else I can get into today...I still have some work to do back here in the 'apartment'... I can see the puter table top, the coffee warmer thingie is all hooked up (did I tell you that this old lady was crawling around under the table plugging in the warmer?) Oh yeah and I am here to tell you I am getting a little too old for crawling around, through and over a floor full of wires! Getting back there wasn't too bad, getting out from under is a whole different thing! lolol 

Well all, later... take care all of mine... go in safety always...Laff, love, hug, be kind to one another and always always have a good time! Hugs and much love, dear hearts... meems

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2008/16/7 0930 EST...

Morning all of mine! I am up and at 'em... well, sort of! lolol Been an interesting day already! Beautifully cool this morning...

The 6 Pack was wound up and rocking first thing... Had back door open this morning too. Any how, 4 of 'em came roaring down the hall way, headed for the bed and proceded to demolish said bed! Sheesh... and then they attacked me! Bounced me around with doggie hugs and smooches... Spud hit the one foot stool and the next thing I knew, I had a Spudley dog on top of puter table and feet on the keyboard... any body want a dog? several dogs? Newbie was under my chair playing tether ball again at the same time... I am screaming and squalling! Did any body pay attention to the emom? I don't think so! I was laffing so hard and so were they! Dogs do laff you know. A huh huh sound, mouth wide open, teeth a gleaming, tongue hanging out the side of mouth and eyes just a sparkling! More fun! 

By request... by Marv... the strange tale of the 'roaches' in the freezer.

Well, kids, many many moons ago when the boys were young, the adventures came fast and furiously! Understatement there, no doubt about it! Anyway, somewhere along the way the boys had gotten/ received toy garbage cans with green slime inside.. I came home from work one day with a few groceries... opened the freezer to put in/take out something... on the shelf in the door, I immediately spotted some green slime oozing over the edge of shelf... Then I saw the little garbage can... Hmmm! Well slime goes in can ... therefore, I pick up can and procede to open said can!

And what to my wondering eyes did appear (Thank you S Clemmons) but a canful of ice and various many legged critters... OK!?! Now what?

I bellow... the boys came down stairs... 

Mom: What are these doing in freezer...
Boys: We went to Buddy's house and got some roaches... wanted to see what would happen when we froze them... would they wake up... (I am sure you get the drift)
Mom: First of all, these are not roaches!
secondly, they do not belong in the freezer.
thirdly, do NOT bring any more bugs into house.
fourthly, do NOT ever put bugs in freezer!
Boys: ok Mom... 

The boys wandered off and there I stood with a garbage can in hand, rapidly melting frosty ice with unknown status on the insects! Mothers earn their halos an wings... trust me they do!

Then, there is the story of the vehicle in the back yard and funny police dispatches... lolol It was near Christmas... a lady called in to say that a car had driven thru her (converted to family room) garage. Vehicle was now sitting in her back yard.

She lived at the end of a court ... only one entrance/exit...Now I asked every conceivable question I could ask about incident! Any injuries? NO Any fire/gasoline leaking? NO ... driver still there? Yes... These are normal questions but I even asked a few more, just in case... vehicle make, license plate. I knew the officer I would send would ask me something that I hadn't asked! I thot I had all bases covered! Wrong! The only question I didn't feel the need to ask was the color of the vehicle...yup! you got it! that was the first thing out of his mouth on dispatch!

I sat on hands, gag in mouth, and did NOT reply that it was the only damaged vehicle in back yard on the far side of a family room at the end of a closed court!... but I did get tickled!

I am outa here for now... lolol take care all of mine... go in safety always, laff, see the humor in the world... do sumfin silly and enjoy!

Meems

PS.  took me all day to get this posted... lolol  meems 1713 est

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