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Have started a new group...Funny 911 Calls...Check it out and join up... share a funny story...
2008/01/07 1213 HRS....
I have lost mind totally! When I had my second cup of coffee this morning, it literally was my second cup! I have no idea what I had done with my first cup! I've only been in the back side of the house. Bedroom, bathroom, hallway and kitchen...Where in the heck did I leave it???
Well, gee whiz! I just ran down the list of things I have done this morning... and I finally found the first cup... on the back porch...lolol... I went out to feed ducks and dogs and hummers...and set it on the table out there. Finding cup does not prove that I have not lost mind! However, it does give me some hope about my mental processes. She says, chuckling to self.
Then, last nite, the Newbie was up to no good again! Here I sit, minding own business and I hear growling behind me. Turn to look/see...and fall out of the chair laffing! Newbie is standing next to bed tormenting The Pygs man! Pyggy is growling and snapping at Newbie whose head is as big at Pygs is all together. Pygs is snarling, nose all wrinkled... Does this activity impress the Newbs? I don't think so! Newbie has learned (by watching Spudley) to play Gotcha Nose Poke! Pyggy is not backing off one inch... lunges at the Newb's and tries to bite... all the Newbs does is lean back slightly and out of reach he is! How can anybody stay sad with the Doggy 6 Pack playing around their feet?
You can't...LOLOL
Memories of dispatching!
Received a call from Juvenile Detention Center. Two male and one female juvenile had escaped from trans port van. Handcuffed together and running up hill (open fields) toward the old Poor House!
I dispatched east side and the Township units with the above info...
Unit came on air and asked if I had any better description...Sat on hands, stuffed gag in mouth, kept foot away for transmit pedal...cause all I could think of was...the ones with the matching bracelets! Can you say: fired? lololol Dispatchers tend to age rapidly from the stress of NOT transmitting something! On the floor just thinking about it... As bad as it could get sometimes, I DID love the job!
Well, I suppose I had best be getting busy doing sumfin. Just what, I'm not sure of just yet...The day is fairly early! lolol
Take care all of mine, go in safety always. Don't forget to look for the funnies in daily living. Laff and love... be kind to one another... and for Pete's sake, try to stay out of trouble... Trust me, words to live by! hugs and much love... meems
Tags: 911
2008/30/06 0916 hrs...
Mornin' all mine! Went out on porch for a while already. A little cooler this morning and a nice breeze a blowing...Let's go back out and set a spell! Seems like a lazy day to me... a do nothing day but it is Monday don't ya know...
I just finished filling the hummers feeder and the little critters are just a fussin up a storm! Had eight of them out here yesterday fighting over the the feeder! Oh, and look there, Goldfinch! Shoot, I need to get a new feeder and I forgot to pick one up in town the last time I went... I think the mimosa is strong enuf to hold a small feeder now. Purty day, yup it is!
I wish the KK and I lived closer to one another... lolol She has a house full of new baby kitties... So cute! She has found them sprinkled all over the house! She cracks me up! Me and my dogs, KK and her cats! I want some kitties out here... maybe I'll try again... somebody surely has some around here who has kittens needing a home...Never seen it to fail tho...Go lookin for sumfin and none to be found... don't need or want, you find yourself knee deep in it and tripping over!
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Here's the latest update from Jas2maui (Donna) in Hawaii
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06/29/2008 16:33:06 Jas2maui
Coconut Wireless to Emom’s Mountain News…Newsflash on BBB (Bamboo Bulletin Board) this a.m. read as follows. SUNDAY 6-29-08…Doggie Mayhem continues to stupefy Local Mountain Woman who can't control "Remotehound." The Chewing Champ, aka Newbie, has now added the remote control to his growing list of daily mouth-watering, delectable, scrumptious household items. Even "Dogs for Dummies" won't help LoMoWo, aka Meems, stop his feasting festivities. Mountain Mayhem continues to dog LoMoWo who seems to thrive on living life on the Silly Side.
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Guess that's it for today...Meems is hot to get on the old paint brushes...
Take care all of mine... Go in safety always... Look for the funny things in life and enjoy... hugs and much love, meems
2008/29/06 1319 HOURS...
Come on in kids! Welcome home dear hearts! Grab a chair or the floor or or...lolol Must warn you that floor gets crowded when the dogs are in... Self defense, flack jacket and helmet are the only protection you'll have! The Doggy Six Pack are firm believers in greetings, slurpy kisses and having new play toys! In their minds... any body who comes thru any door is fair game to enjoy! Remember... no complaints please.. you were warned! lolol
Well, I lucked out for a change with Newbie! He tried to eat the tv remote... Bent it a little but no serious damage to report there... but I must get the rake out again! He has destroyed a brand new roll of paper towels. Hmmm! Maybe I could sell this stuff for confetti ... do you suppose? I did read an article that someone made a wedding gown out of toilet paper. Does that strike any body as strange?
Marvin! Hush! I am old, feeble and puny! I am typing as fast as these old fingers will allow! Sheesh! He's a grump some days...That's ok tho... the boy loves me...! lolol or is stuck with me or sumfin!
Memories:
Once upon a time ago, when I was working midnites, I received a call from an elderly lady who lived next door to a business which had closed... She was irate, mad, upset, incensed, in a tizzy and throwing a hissy fit. This was just for starters...lolol
Well, after I sorted thru the name calling and 4 letter words, I told the Lady I would send officers right away.
I dispatched a unit and a back up (just in case) to the parking lot of closed business. Advised them of a naked man running around in the lot...Now thinking this was sufficient info, I signed off with time and call letters. Oh no, meems wasn't done yet... One unit wanted to know if I had any better description of 'naked man'... Negative! (even I knew who the guy was) lolol
Oh lordy.. temptations abounding, I bit tongue, sat on hands, put gag in mouth and just barely managed to control all the thots which flashed thru brain...Some times I just wonder... Never mind.
Played with the paints and brushes for a while yesterday. Was way too stormy to stay on line...Cloud ceiling was way below me and I was in the cloud to cloud layer again. I did go out on the back porch for a while to observe cloud patterns... When a bolt flashed down the creek again, I decided it was time for me to come back in house... The storm gods do like to play up here!
Later all of mine... supposed to be a stormy day again up here in the mountains... Wx alerts coming in frequently so I will probably be off line a lot again today.
Go in safety all of mine, laff, love, hug, do something ridiculous today, be silly but most of all laff! hugs and much love...meems
2008/27/06 0613 HRS...
It's not daylight yet. It's before breakfast and I am up! All the dogs were in last nite...camped on top of, in and around the meems...Sheesh Honestly tho, having the dogs inside isn't too bad unless they decide it is time to play. The favorite cover diving game is Ghostie Gotcha!
Ghostie Gotcha consists of at least one dog under the covers...the other critters on top... under cover dog grabs any part of top dog available... Top dog growls, pant laffs and grabs back...under cover dog growls back. In the mean time, Meems is getting beaten to a pulp, bounced upon, tap danced over, nipped on occasion (thru the blankets)and doing a little growling of my own. By this time, I have head buried under pillow!
Ok kids... I give up! Let me up... OFF! Move! Sheesh! Quit! OFF! Ouch! Oooof! OFF! Quit it! I find I am pinned beneath a forest of legs and tails and slurpy tongues and and... All trying to get to the meems for the morning 6 Pack greeting! All except the Newbie! Him is standing alongside the bed. Him is also not getting any smaller. Big brown eyes observing all the activities by the older but smaller dogs... Storing info for future use, I am sure! Oh dear! I think I am definitely in trouble here....lolol but I DO start the day laffin!
Spent some time last nite antiquing some gilded frames for the paintings... don't look half bad. However, I should have worn gloves while applying the antiquing! My left hand is stained with a lovely and feminine orange-brown color...fingernail polish can only hide so much! lolol I know what's gonna happen. I know better but I do it anyway. I'm sure you've heard me say THAT before.
Well, the color will wear off eventually...if I live long enuf!
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FROM: GUEST COLUMNIST DONNA S.
FROM: jas2maui
DATE: 06/26/2008
6-26-08...Coconut Wireless to Emom’s Mountain News…Newsflash on BBB (Bamboo Bulletin Board) this a.m. read as follows. THURSDAY…Local Mountain Woman recovering from ceiling to floor Crash and Splat accident. Seems said Mt. Woman's suspended playpen escape capsule containing Mt. Woman and other life sustaining items broke loose and plunged to floor narrowly missing freaked frantic dogs. Local authorities did not file complaint...simply warned woman to keep "hissy fit" solution on the GROUND. Apparently said Mr. Woman has history of Creative Reactive Solutions which keep "those in the know" in hysterics. Will this wacky woman ever settle down and behave herself...possibly...not sure...nope...don't think so.
By: Donna S. aka jas2maui
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I think meems is gonna go sit on the back porch to recover,recoup, drink my coffee and watch the sun come up over the mountain. Join me? Lovely quiet morning outside and so beautiful. Ah, yes... peace and quiet.(wishful thinking here)
Take care all of mine...hugs and much love..Meems
2008/26/06 1232 HRS....
Sheesh, is this a double full moon month or sumfin? Was 80 deg at 1000 this morning...And as usual, when I rolled out I let dogs in/out! There's always a critter on the wrong side of the door.
Well, Pygs came in and went flying down the hall to the bed room as fast as his little legs could carry him. I followed, lolol, and found his little body on my pillow! I went ahead and straightened bed covers with him still in the bed. Problem is, I think he likes this version of cover diving...lolol Now Big Red dog has taken his place on pillows and the little girl dog is fussing... The covers are all pinned down by the other two... She can't cover dive...
I have decided to hang/suspend a playpen from the ceiling... take pillow, blanket, pistol (just in case somebody might be foolish enuf to break in) cigs pop and ashtray... oh and the phone! Is that it? I guess so. When did I lose control? How did this madness and mayhem sneak up on me? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Do NOT answer any of the above... I don't want to hear it! Now I have the giggles!
I think I am going to throw a hissy fit, lay on floor, kick heels, pound with fists, scream improfanities (I just made that word up) and generally behave in an adult manner! Oh yeah! Puter! DSL modem! Now the server has decided to drop me without any notification at all...no amber light, no pop up ERROR warning...Pop up now hides behind whatever screen I have showing! This is not going well at all...If it ain't broke, why........
Maybe I should change my name to LaDona Quixote! Meems been tilting with windmills for the last couple of days and losing royaly! lolol And I just now got an amber light...crackin' up! Trust me, kids, cats, dogs, husbands, horses and dsl modems will make a liar out of you every time... I just got the error pop-up! lolol
I QUIT! Maybe tomorrow! love and hugs to all of mine..
It's ok to be human! Laff, love, find humor where ever you go...and for Pete's sake, do sumfin silly... meems
2008/24/06..0830 HRS...
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THE FOLLOWING COMMENT WAS MADE IN CCC...ref a pic of a long snake that I found in my bedroom door way.
"OHMYGAWD EMOM!!! I hate snakes, mice and rats. But if it comes down to either me or them, I choose me so they gotta die. I used to hyperventilate whenever cicadas came out and actually trembled and feared just walking from the car into the house. But no more. My fear of them was conquered and the last time they were out, I walked outside freely without one landing on me.
Thank God that snake was dead... and thank God it wasn't a poisonous one. You're a brave woman, but then living where you live, if you weren't brave you wouldn't be the one and only EMOM!"
posted by Rainbow16
about 19 hours ago
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MY REPLY FOLLOWS...
Hey, RB! Honey... thanks for them kind words but know that I am not brave! I am just not afraid! there is a difference, I think! lolol
Let me tell you about bravery. Bravery is standing there before the enemy, alone... not considering the out come nor the numbers against you.
One day during hot weather, I went out on the side porch to move a 50 lb bag of dog food. Moved bag, looked down and there was a small toad and a small lizard. Lizard was maybe two inches long at most! They were in a stand off!
Now I am not much of one to interfere with MNature but this time I did. I picked up the little lizard feller and put him in the palm of my right hand. I would have given anything to have had a camera at that moment! I laffed so hard. Him lil feller was in a defensive posture! Him was puffed up...arched sideways in a U shape... head (up) and tail pointed towards this giant creature (me). Him was willing to do battle right then and there... Devil take the hind most!!! Him was willing to take on invading army single handed if necessary! I put him down finally; he scurried between the boards of the porch and I sat down and cried... It was the most magnificent display of courage I have ever seen! Loved it! meems
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FROM DEAR ABBY COLUMN...
PROGRAM GIVES RETURNING VETS FREE COMPUTER SKILLS TRAINING
Wed Jun 18, 7:58 PM ET
DEAR ABBY: Please help me alert your readers about an important program launched by companies in the information technology (IT) industry to educate, train, certify and provide job placement assistance for returning veterans. Military who successfully complete the Creating Futures program will have the knowledge and skill level they need to start a rewarding career in IT.
Creating Futures is free for all participants. The cost is covered by organizational sponsors such as HP, Xerox and Ricoh.
The Creating Futures program is tailored to help individuals with various levels of skill. Individuals who have honed their computer skills in the military will be taught how to transfer those skills to civilian life, and those who are new to IT will be taught the basic skills they need to pursue a career in information technology.
Returning veterans, people with disabilities, youth-at-risk and dislocated workers interested in participating in the program should visit www.creatingfutures.us for information on how to participate. -- JOHN VENATOR, COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY INDUSTRY ASSOCIATION
DEAR JOHN: Thank you for bringing this to the attention of my readers. I'm sure many individuals in each of the categories you mentioned will be interested in learning more about the Creating Futures program."
FROM THE DEAR ABBY COLUMN... Thank you Abby for your words.
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Go in safety all of mine... take care...Remember to laff and most of all to be human... Be kind to one another. In this whole big world all we have is one another.
Many hugs and much love to all of mine... emom
2008/22-23/06 1136 HRS...
Hey everybody...Well, I'm sorry about the back door being closed.. Humidity is up, so is temp... Meems has become too delicate to to stand the heat any more...but I do stay in the kitchen some of the time...
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2008/23/06 1347 hrs...
Have no idea of where I was headed with the news yesterday! Did I ever mention I have no memory and a very short attention span on the best of days? I don't think I want to talk about the results of a bad day!
Come on in and cool off! Gettin warmer out there and the humids are rising! Lots of mist between me and the distant mountain tops...got some clear blue up there tho and some white puffies...I think it's a purty day! Well guys, I slept really late today... I am just now on my third cup of coffee if that tells you anything...
I was expecting Grass cutter to be out to do the yard. What I wasn't expecting was his girls to be with him. I'm here to tell you that one bedroom, two teenaged girls, 6 dogs and one emom can get a little rowdy, not to say crowded!
I had dogs and girls on the bed, on the floor, under foot..giggling and laffing (those were just the dogs) and wrestling! Newbie had Roxie pinned to the floor giving her a bath! Rene was pinned in the swivel rocker!
Me, being the brave soul I am, stayed out of the line of fire as best I could! I had kids and dogs bouncing every where in here! They raided the fridge, the cupboards and ate all my raisins (the girls, not the dogs!) Oh well, it could have been worse! Even grasscutter said he was laffing while he was working outside! He could hear us a carrying on and we must have made him smile!
Men, you can ignore the following...for women only sortof!
I gave the girls a tube of white frosted lipstick! It came with some nail polish in a sale cart! Well, nothing to do but for me put some on for them! I haven't worn lipstick in years... anyway I carefully applied the silvery looking stuff...Girls cracked up and so did I... Looked like I had a second set of lowers when I grinned... lolol Guess this old war horse is outdated in some ways. Two or three hours of mild madness and mayhem were unbelievably funny! They'll be back...the grasscutter brings them out here as a treat/reward for doing the house work and stuff! However, the down side of that is they don't come to visit me... they come to see the dogs! I would pout but I can't work it into my schedule!
Another thing! Puter problems! Well, Glen helped me get it straightened out.. finally! Any way I had complained to Little Jake about my problem... He said that one must think like a two year old to understand a puter... I agreed...Said that I hadn't reached the two year old stage yet! BUT! that I could go from 'adultry to childish' in a heart beat! I think my terminology shocked him... we both cracked up! I am still giggling today! At 72, I am no slouch when it comes to snappy comebacks! Sometimes! Gotcha jake!
That's it for today... Welcome home dear hearts, welcome home and welcome aboard the Funny Farm Express! Meems is conductor...I just might have lost control somewhere along the way! When, I don't know... laff, all of mine, giggle, enjoy, smile, and always look at the beautiful world around us... hugs and love to all... Meems, the getting worse!
Tags: Newbie
2008/21/06 1211 HRS...
I know I am a little later than usual but not by much. At least the Marv isn't yelling at me to get up and get busy or grousing about the News running late. I believe he is out and about trying NOT to get arrested... The boy is a party animal, nite owl, sumfin!
Gots ta tell you I was BAD girl... again! I just couldn't help myself... she says giggling!
Marv was unhappy with my email name for him...'Teddy Bear'. Said he would rather be called 'grumpy brat'. Well now, I pondered on that for a while... I decided to compromise...(Marv, honey, be careful for what you ask of the emom; she just might grant it!) Tee hee hee! The Marvinll is now know officially as Grumpy BARE! Don't know if he is happy with that appellation but he asked and I granted! lolol gotcha sweets!
Snow... lovely cold wonderful snow. When Marv and I were talking the other day, I asked if he ever has snow where he lives...(the coast of Cal) Said yes, once or twice. that he discovered snow is wet! Nah, really? LOLOL
Well, then I started thinking about the snow we had on Cow Creek several years ago... 6 to 8 inches of wonderful packing snow. (Wolfer, you can tune this out. you've heard this one before). Any way, I got all bundled up to go out and play in the snow! Dogs all excited, trying to help the emom get her boots on and everything!
I went trundling (that's all you can do with that amout of clothing on)out the door. Hmmm! Hill side pristine. No doggy or critter tracks... Ok, and you have a good view of the hill from the nearby road. Wowser, I can make a snow angel! Haven't done a snow angel in years! Neighbors think I am crazy anyway so who cares if anybody sees me... meems is gonna play in the snow!
I climb to a sloped spot about 15' above the flat land. Choose my spot carefully ... turn around to flop into a nice smooth area...and I start making angel... Think to myself, this is neat!
I forgot about the dogs!
Oh dear! I am down... here come the dogs! Winslow, my yellow lab, comes racing over... stands above me and takes in the situation. Ponders a moment and decides Emom has a NEW GAME! Here comes Penny, and lily to join in the fun! Lordy Pete! I ended up at the bottom of the slope, half beat to death and my clothes definitely jam packed with snow! Talk about your wet and cold...snow does melt in a hurry! sheesh! My poor snow angel didn't make it thru the ruckus! Oh well, we did have fun... sort of... maybe... lolol...
I've decided Newbie and Winslow are two of a kind... Winslow has been gone for a long while now and I never figured I'd have another dog as smart or as rotten as Winslow... Still miss the Winslow... but I do believe the Newbie has him beat as far as getting into trouble is concerned...Ain't I lucky?
Meems is very late today... ran down to the two pumper to pick up a few things while the work crew is off... but that is a whole diff story! lolol
Later all of mine... today has been another good one... hugs and much love... go in safety always... the meems
Tags: NEWBIE
2008/20/06 1100 HRS...
Gee whiz, guys and gals... looks like today is going down hill rapidly. A new friend and I managed to 'fuse' the puter already today... New friend is msbhavn... does that tell you anything? Oh dear, I think I am in real trouble here! lolol Well, why should today be any different?
Now, I slept well last nite (ticks aside) and I just knew it was gonna be an interesting day when I let the big dogs in the back door. They are well rested also. The Newbie is always full of vim, vigor and vitality unless/until he is on guard duty...Have pics of him (waiting to be developed) actively on duty in my old fashioned feather bed! This morning, while I was trying to straighten/make the bed, the two smallest members of the Six Pack decided to help me! I just went ahead and made the bed with them on the bottom side of the covers! Saves a lot of time and effort for me. What else is a good doggie supposed to do? Just help the emom any way they can. Help me right into the funny farm...Oh yeah, with no effort at all...
All the while I am fussing with the 'linens', the other critters are amusing themselves... China comes in to greet the meems... Spudley does the same... Oh dear, then here comes the Newbie... He greets me in his usual charming manner...bruised and battered by his loving exhuberance, I greet in return... I pound on his sides, rub his ears, check for ticks, scratch between his front legs and then return to the bed making chore..
As soon as my back is turned, I hear semi serious growling behind me... I turn to look... Oh dear! Newbie has grabbed big red by the tail again and won't let go! He's put on the brakes and she ain't goin' nowhere soon! She's growling at him, he is ignoring her growls! He is grinning for all he's worth... tail up and just a waggin!
The boy is a prankster and a thief! He stole a brand new pack of cigars... (yup meems is bad; I smoke and yes they are cigars!)...tore the paper off and mashed some of the filtered ends... Lordy, will he never stop teething?!?...
Guess that's it for today... and as we all know, around here each day is a new adventure!
Welcome home dear hearts, welcome home and welcome aboard the 'Funny Farm Express'. Laff, enjoy, be happy, look forward and always remember it is ok to be human!
Hugs and much love to all of mine where ever you may go!
Meems
Tags: NEWBIE
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