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Viewing 64 - 72 out of 139 Blogs.
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A newlywed couple on their honeymoon gets to the hotel room.
When they start to have sex, the wife says that she has something to confess.
The husband says, "I will love you no matter what it is, tell me."
So the wife tells him that she is actually extremely flat chested.
The husband says, "I can deal with that."
He takes off her shirt and shouts, "Boy! you are small, but I love you anyway."
The husband says, "I have something to confess also."
She says, "No matter what I will still love you."
He says, "Okay.I am built like a baby down there."
She says, "I can deal with that."
So he pulls down his pants and his wife passes out! He fans her and she finally gets up.
She says, "I thought you said you were built like a baby?"
He says, "Yeah....7lbs, 21inches."
Tags: Newly weds
A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, "I got shingles."
She said, "Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you're done, please take a seat." Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "I got shingles." So she took down his height, weight, and complete medical history, then said, "Change into this gown and wait in the examining room." A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "I got shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor gave him a full-cavity examination, and then said, "I just checked you out thoroughly, and I can't find shingles anywhere. " The man replied, "They're outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
Tags: doctors office
An elderly friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time -- just him and his granddaughter. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out.When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her Grandfather. 'Well, did
you enjoy your ride with grandma?' 'Oh yes, Granddad' the girl replied, 'and do you know what? We didn't see a single arsehole, blind bastard, dip shit or wanker anywhere we went today!'
Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
Tags: an elderly friend
Boy watches his mum and dad having s*x and says; "What are you doing?" Dad - "am making you a brother or sister!" Boy - "Do her doggy style I want a puppy!"
Tags: gawking kid
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas
gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started...
Tags: how the fight started
A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company.. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet..
'Who are you?' he asked him..
'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.
'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked..
'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.
'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards!'
Tags: pests be gone
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins?'
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old ..... I'm telling everybody!'
Tags: confessional
What Religion is Your Bra?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's
And shyly walked up to The woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. " "What type of bra?" Asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
"Look around,"
Said the saleslady, As she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color And material imaginable!
"Actually, Even with all of this variety, There are really only Four types of bras to choose from ." Relieved, the man asked About the types. The saleslady replied: "There are the Catholic, The Salvation Army, The Presbyterian, And the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled,
The man asked about The differences between them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple. .
The Catholic type
Supports the masses; The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and
The Baptist makes mountains out of molehills."
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used To define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, But couldn't figure out What the letters stood for, It is about time You became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!....
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!......
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...
{H} Help me, I've fallen
And I can't get up!...
Send this to
All that will appreciate it!
They forgot the German bra:
Holtzemfromfloppen
Tags: Religion Bra
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