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REMINDER FROM GOD:
ISRAEL: God's Center Piece of History
"Indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep."1
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."2 He also created the first man and woman, Adam and Eve—a simple story with profound consequences in that God created mankind with a free will and not as a puppet on a string. God put Adam and Eve to a test to see if they would voluntarily choose to follow his directions or go their own way. The test was simple: they were told that they could eat of the fruit of every tree in the Garden of Eden except for just one tree.3
There was nothing complicated about this choice until Satan, chief of the fallen angels, entered the picture. Ever since Satan attempted to overthrow God and was subsequently "dethroned from his high position in God's order."4 he has hated God and has used every form of deception possible in his attempt to destroy the apex of God's creation: mankind! To do this Satan deceived Adam and Eve by telling them a part truth (which can be the most deceptive form of lying there is), and in so doing lured them into disobeying God's directive and eating the forbidden fruit.5 In this act mankind chose to disbelieve God and reject his direction, and believe in and follow Satan's. This was the entrance of sin and evil into the human race, and the beginning of the battle between good and evil—a battle that has continued ever since and rages as much as ever in today's world.
This battle increased significantly when Abraham, the father of the nation of Israel, chose to do exactly the opposite of what Adam and Eve did. He chose to believe God and follow his directives. Because of this God chose Abraham's descendants, the Israelites, to be the nation through which he would bring healing for mankind. God did this through the birth of Jesus Christ, the Son of God and Savior of the world.6 Furthermore, when Christ returns to earth, he will come directly to Israel, and rule and reign throughout the millennium from Jerusalem.7
You can understand why, since the beginning of the nation of Israel, Satan has done and is still doing everything he can to totally destroy this nation.
According to the Bible the climax of world history will be when the nations of the world, headed by the Antichrist (Satan's emissary), will unite to come against Israel in an attempt to destroy her forever.8 This war, the like of which the world has never before seen, is known as Armageddon. At this point Jesus Christ will return to earth from Heaven, will rescue Israel and totally destroy the opposing armies. He will then set up his Kingdom and rule and reign on earth from Jerusalem for a thousand years9—after which he will create a new earth and a new heaven.10
In his first coming to earth, Jesus came as a servant to identify with lost mankind and give his life as a sacrifice to pay the penalty for mankind's sin and to save all who believe in him from the tragic consequences of sin and evil. Make no mistake, however, in his second coming Jesus Christ will come as King of kings and Lord of lords to rule and reign for all eternity.10
And Satan, the father of all deception, lies and evil, with his horde of evil followers, will be bound during the millennium and at the end be cast into hell forever.11
Keep an eye on Israel. This tiny nation is without doubt—in God's plan—the center stage for the world's final battle between good and evil. Thus, the more we see nations uniting to oppose Israel, the more we need to realize that the setting of the stage for the entrance of the Antichrist is accelerating. At the same time the setting of the stage for the second coming of Jesus Christ also will be accelerating. According to the Bible, Christ's return will be the end of world history as we know it.10
In the meantime every individual needs to choose whether he or she is on the side of God and good—or on the side of Satan and evil—which will include being for or against Israel. About Israel, God promised Abraham: "I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."12 Beware to all nations who dare to come against Israel, or in the end they will find themselves fighting against God.
There is no neutral ground with God. If we are not for him, we are against him. As Jesus said, "Whoever is not with me is against me."13 And as Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, "Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act."
I urge you today to take a stand for good against all evil; for Israel against all who are anti-Israel, for Jesus Christ against all who are for anti-the-Christ, and for God against Satan. Just as it was with the first man and woman, every individual is called upon to make that choice.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please open the eyes of my understanding so that I can clearly see your purpose for me and for all mankind, and be fully aware of your plan for the climax of world history. Please give me the courage to make the choice to believe in and follow your directives and, in so doing, take an active stand for all that is good and of you, and a definite stand against all that is evil and of Satan, the devil. So help me God. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Psalm 121:4 (NIV). 2. Genesis 1:1 (NIV). 3. See Genesis 2:16-17. 4. Isaiah 14:12-15. 5. Genesis 3:3. 6. Matthew 1:1. 7. Zechariah 14:4. 8. Revelation 16:12-16 9. Revelation 20:1-6. 10. Revelation 21:1-3. 11. Revelation 20:1-3; 20:7-10. 12. Genesis 12:2-3. 13. Matthew 12:30.
********************************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
caus·a·tive [kaw-zuh-tiv] adjective 1.acting as a cause; producing (often followed by of ): a causative agency; an event causative of war. 2.Grammar . noting causation. The causative form of to fall is to fell. Gothic -jan is a causative suffix in fulljan “to cause to be full; to fill.â€
noun 3. Grammar . a word, especially a verb, noting causation, as made in He made me eat the apple.
Origin: 1375–1425; late Middle English
********************************************** RECIPE:
Rigatoni with Sausage and Tomato Cream Sauce
Tubes of rigatoni hold the tomato sauce, giving you a burst of creamy flavor with every bite. Use either hot or mild Italian sausage here, depending on your preference.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 10 minutes Cooking time: 25 minutes
1 tablespoon olive oil 1 1/2 pounds mild or hot Italian sausage, casings removed 1 onion, chopped 3 garlic cloves, minced 1/3 cup dry white wine 1 1/2 cups canned crushed tomatoes in thick puree, (from a 15-ounce can) 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper 1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped 1 cup light cream 1 pound rigatoni Grated Parmesan cheese, for serving
In a large frying pan, heat the oil over moderate heat. Add the sausage and cook, breaking up the meat with a fork, until it is no longer pink, about 5 minutes. With a slotted spoon, remove the sausage from the pan. Discard all but 1 tablespoon fat.
Reduce the heat to moderately low. Add the onion and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion is translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the wine and cook until it almost evaporates, about 5 minutes. Stir in the sausage, tomatoes, and salt. Simmer, covered, for 10 minutes. Add the pepper, parsley, and cream.
In a large pot of boiling, salted water, cook the rigatoni until just done, about 14 minutes. Drain the pasta and toss with the sauce. Serve with grated Parmesan.
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Slow Cooker Beef Stroganoff
1 pound cubed beef stew meat 1 (10.75 ounce)can condensed golden mushroom soup 1/2 cup chopped onion 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 1/4 cup water 4 ounces cream cheese 1 16 Oz bag of wide egg noodles
In a slow cooker, combine the meat, soup,onion,Worcestershire sauce and water. Cook on Low setting for 8 hours, or on High setting for about 5 hours. Stir in cream cheese just before serving. Add salt/pepper to your taste. Pour over hot cooked noodles .
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Banana Bread
Rich buttermilk, crunchy nuts and flavorful, ripe bananas make this banana bread tops.
PREP TIME 15 min TOTAL TIME 2 hr 30 min SERVINGS 24
1 1/4 cups sugar 1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened 2 eggs 1 1/2 cups mashed very ripe bananas (3 to 4 medium) 1/2 cup buttermilk 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 1/2 cups Gold Medal® all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup chopped nuts, if desired
1 Move oven rack to low position so that tops of pans will be in center of oven. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease bottoms only of 2 loaf pans, 8 1/2x4 1/2x2 1/2 inches, or 1 loaf pan, 9x5x3 inches.
2 Mix sugar and butter in large bowl. Stir in eggs until well blended. Add bananas, buttermilk and vanilla. Beat until smooth. Stir in flour, baking soda and salt just until moistened. Stir in nuts. Pour into pans.
3 Bake 8-inch loaves about 1 hour, 9-inch loaf about 1 1/4 hours, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes. Loosen sides of loaves from pans; remove from pans and place top side up on wire rack. Cool completely, about 2 hours, before slicing. Wrap tightly and store at room temperature up to 4 days, or refrigerate up to 10 days.
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Blueberry-Banana-Oat Bread
PREP TIME 15 min TOTAL TIME 3 hr 25 min SERVINGS 16
2 3/4 cups Bisquick Heart Smart® mix 2/3 cup sugar 1/3 cup quick-cooking oats 1 cup mashed very ripe bananas (2 medium) 1/4 cup milk 2 eggs 1 cup fresh or frozen (thawed and drained) blueberries
1 Heat oven to 375°F. Grease bottom only of 9x5-inch loaf pan with shortening or cooking spray. 2 In large bowl, stir Bisquick mix, sugar, oats, bananas, milk and eggs until moistened; beat vigorously 30 seconds. Gently stir in blueberries. Pour into pan. 3 Bake 45 to 60 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes. Loosen loaf from sides of pan; remove from pan and place top side up on cooling rack. Cool completely, about 2 hours, before slicing. **********************************************
New Immigration Laws: PLEASE read to the bottom or you will miss the message...
1 There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools.
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2. All ballots will be in this nation's language.
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3. All government business will be conducted in our language.
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4. Non-residents will NOT have the right to vote no matter how long they are here.
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5. Non-citizens will NEVER be able to hold political office
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6. Foreigners will not be a burden to the taxpayers. No welfare, no food stamps, no health care, or other government assistance programmes. Any burden will be deported.
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7. Foreigners can invest in this country, but it must be an amount at least equal to 40,000 times the daily minimum wage.
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8. If foreigners come here and buy land... Options will be restricted. Certain parcels including waterfront property are reserved for citizens naturally born into this country.
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9.. Foreigners may have no protests; no demonstrations, no waving of a foreign flag, no political organizing, no bad-mouthing our prime minister or his policies. These will lead to imprisonment and deportation.
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10. If you do come to this country illegally, you will be actively hunted &, when caught, sent to jail until your deportation can be arranged. All assets will be taken from you.
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Too strict?....... The above laws are the current immigration laws of the Muslim countries !
These sound fine to me, NOW, how can we get these laws to be our laws?? THIS IS MY COUNTRY! And, because I make This statement DOES NOT Mean I'm against immigration!!! YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY! Welcome! To come through legally: 1. Get a sponsor! 2. Get a place to lay your head! 3. Get a job! 4. Live By OUR Rules! 5. Pay YOUR Taxes! And 6. Learn the LANGUAGE like immigrants Have in the past!!! AND 7. Please don't demand that we hand over our lifetime savings of welfare benefits to you.
If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, Then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
When will AMERICAN/CANADIANS STOP giving away THEIR RIGHTS? PS .. I can answers this one Al .. when you stop voting for the Liberals We've gone so far the other way... Bent over backwards not to offend anyone. But it seems no one cares about the AMERICAN/ CANADIAN CITIZEN that's being offended!
WAKE UP AMERICA/CANADA
If you agree.... Pass this on. If you don't agree.. Delete it!! **********************************************
On a snowy winter’s day, a mother was watching her two young children play in the backyard when she noticed something unusual. She called her oldest inside and gave him a talking-to: “Dylan, I thought I told you to share your toys with your little sister!â€
“I am sharing, Mom,†replied Dylan innocently. “She plays with the sled going up the hill, and I play with it going down.â€
********************************************** How Children Perceive Their Grandparents 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.... 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?" 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?" 4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" 5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied. 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!" 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights." 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6." 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." 11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child. 12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants." 13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport." 14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him! 15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog. ********************************************** Places I've Been & Never Been ~ I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year. You can do your bit by remembering to send an e-mail to at least one unstable person. My job is done! Life is too short for negative drama & petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly! From one unstable person to another... I hope everyone is happy in your head - we're all doing pretty good in mine!
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Last week, she checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well-oiled bum.... She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call. “Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?†. . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!
Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, “Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I' m ready!! Now how does that sound?â€
He said, “That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.†**********************************************
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.' The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him. My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'. They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion. The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet.. The GP's waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's' pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant. God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door. Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Sunk in a Sink Hole
"One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, 'Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?'"1
"In December 1985 an enormous sinkhole swallowed a house and carport and forced the evacuation of four homes in a retirement community in Florida. The hole was about the size of a pickup truck when it was discovered. Within three hours it had grown to 30 by 40 feet and had swallowed half of a small house. Two hours later it had expanded to more than 70 feet, and the house with its carport was gone. Authorities were grateful that it finally stopped growing without doing even more damage.
"David discovered that sin is like an ever-expanding sinkhole. As he was walking on the flat roof of his palace, he saw a beautiful woman bathing. Instead of turning away, he stared longingly at her. At this point the sinkhole was small but expanding. When he inquired about who she was, the hole grew larger. And finally, when he sent for her, he soon found himself and those around him swallowed up. What started out as only a look ended in tragedy for all involved."2
Many people, like David, find themselves falling into the sinkhole of temptation because they leave the door open for temptation to enter.
Temptation works the same for all of us. It's progressive. It can start with an innocent look, then a thought, and then if we linger longer on the look, the thought progresses to desire, then to becoming blind to reality and fooling ourselves into rationalizing that it won't hurt, and then to yielding. Following this pathway can quickly lead one into the sinkhole of sin as well as despair.
To overcome temptation we need to realize how vulnerable we are to the pull that temptation has on us. When temptation knocks on your door, ask Jesus to answer the door. Also, as God's Word says, "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men [and women] of courage; be strong."3 And again, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour".4 "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."5
I also find that when tempting thoughts knock on "the door of my mind," I realize that I need to take control of my thinking and pray, "Help, Jesus, help," and keep saying, "Jesus Christ is Lord. Jesus Christ is Lord of my life," until the chain of tempting thoughts is broken.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, may I never forget that I, like David, am just as open to temptation as he was. Please help me to call on you in the hour or even the moment of temptation, and give me the strength to resist the devil so that he will flee from me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. 2 Samuel 11:2-3 (NIV).
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WORD FOR THE DAY:
pachyderm PAK-i-durm , noun: 1. A person who is not sensitive to criticism, ridicule, etc. 2. Any of the thick-skinned, nonruminant ungulates, as the elephant, hippopotamus, and rhinoceros. 3. An elephant.
He writhed as he saw himself finally a toughened pachyderm in Eliza's world—sprucing up confidently, throwing his shoulders back proudly, making people “think he was somebody†as he cordially acknowledged an introduction by producing a card setting forth the joys of life in Altamont and Dixieland... -- Thomas Wolfe, Look Homeword, Angel
To judge by his work, our writer is unquestionably a stubborn man, said the Serb, he's stubborn as a mule, as a pachyderm... -- Roberto Bolaño, 2666, Volume 1
Pachyderm clearly comes from the Greek roots pachý meaning "thick" and dermatos meaning "skin." Its metaphorical meaning of a person with thick skin is attested to in the 1860s.
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RECIPE:
Tomato Biscuits
Bits of fresh tomato add antioxidant power to these easy drop biscuits. Yogurt puts calcium in every bite.
Ingredients Number of servings: 1 biscuit
1 medium tomato, seeded and finely chopped 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 cup low-fat plain yogurt 1/3 cup olive oil 2 tablespoons finely chopped scallion 1 tablespoon finely chopped sun-dried tomato
How to make it 24 minutes
1. Preheat oven to 450°F. Lightly coat baking sheet with nonstick cooking spray. Drain chopped fresh tomato on paper towels.
2 In medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt. In small bowl combine yogurt and oil and stir into flour mixture until evenly moistened.
3 Stir fresh tomato, scallion, and sun-dried tomato into flour mixture. Drop dough, 1/4 cup at a time, onto prepared baking sheet, for total of 12 biscuits.
4 Bake until tops are golden brown, about 12 minutes. Serve warm
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Turkey and Balsamic Onion Quesadillas
Prep Time: 5 mins
Cook Time: 15 mins
Rest Time: 5 mins
Total Time: 25 mins
Ingredients 1 small onion(s), red, thinly sliced 1/4 cup(s) vinegar, balsamic 4 medium tortilla(s), flour, whole-wheat, 10-inch 1 cup(s) cheese, cheddar, sharp, shredded 8 slice(s) turkey, deli-style, preferably smoked
Recipe Tip: Turkey should be sliced off the bone — steer clear of processed deli turkey.
Preparation
1. Combine onion and vinegar in a bowl; let marinate for 5 minutes. Drain, reserving the vinegar for another use, such as salad dressing.
2. Place 2 tortillas in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat (they will overlap); warm for about 45 seconds, then flip. Pull the tortillas up the edges of the pan so they are no longer overlapping.
3. Working on one half of each tortilla, sprinkle one-fourth of the cheese, cover with 2 slices of turkey and top with one-fourth of the onion. Fold the tortillas in half, press gently with a spatula to flatten and cook until the cheese starts to melt, about 2 minutes. Flip and continue cooking until the second side is golden, 1 to 2 minutes more.
4. Transfer to a plate and cover with foil to keep warm. Make two more quesadillas with the remaining ingredients. Serve warm
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Valentine Pizza
Ingredients 3 cups bread flour 1 (.25 ounce) envelope active dry yeast 1 1/4 cups warm water 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, divided 3 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary
1 (14 ounce) can pizza sauce 3 cups shredded mozzarella cheese 2 ripe tomatoes, sliced 1 zucchini, sliced 15 slices vegetarian pepperoni 1 (2.25 ounce) can sliced black olives
Directions 1. Place bread flour, yeast, water, and 2 tablespoons olive oil into the bread machine pan in the order recommended by the manufacturer. Select the Dough setting. Press Start. When the dough is finished, knead rosemary into the dough. 2. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). 3. Divide the dough into three portions. Shape each piece into a heart shape about 1/2 inch thick. Brush with remaining olive oil, and spread a thin layer of pizza sauce on each pizza. Sprinkle cheese over pizza sauce, and arrange tomatoes, zucchini, pepperoni, and sliced olives on top. 4. Bake for about 15 to 20 minutes, or until cheese has melted and crust is browned.
Footnotes
Tip
Bake pizza on a pizza stone for best results.
For more heart shapes, cut tomato into slices, and then cut slices into heart shapes. Do the same to the zucchini and the pepperoni.
******************************************* BLT Pizza
Ingredients 4 slices bacon 1 (10 ounce) can refrigerated pizza crust dough 1 teaspoon olive oil 2 cups mozzarella cheese, shredded 1 tomato, chopped 2 cups shredded iceberg lettuce 2 tablespoons mayonnaise, or to taste salt and pepper to taste
Directions 1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C), or according to package directions for pizza dough. 2. Place bacon in a heavy skillet over medium-high heat, and fry until browned, but not crisp. Drain on paper towels. 3. Stretch pizza dough out over a pizza stone, pan, or cookie sheet. Brush the dough with olive oil. Spread the shredded mozzarella over the crust, and arrange the tomatoes over the cheese. Chop bacon, and sprinkle evenly over the pizza. 4. Bake pizza for 10 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, until the crust is golden and cheese is melted in the center. While the pizza is in the oven, toss the shredded lettuce with mayonnaise, and season lightly with salt and pepper. Top the finished pizza with the dressed lettuce, and serve immediately.
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JOKES & ETC
MAFIA GODFATHER
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where's the money? The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido where's the money?. Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's temple and says, "Ask him again!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him.." Guido signs back, "OK.!!!! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house." The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, " He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
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IT'S WHAT YOU SCATTER
I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes... I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.
I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.
'Hello Barry, how are you today?'
'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good'
'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?' 'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.' 'Good. Anything I can help you with?' 'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.' 'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.
'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'
'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'
'All I got's my prize marble here.'
'Is that right? Let me see it', said Miller.
'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'
'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.
'Not zackley but almost.'
'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr. Miller told the boy.
'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.
With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.
When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.
Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one; each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.
They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt.'
'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho ...'
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.... Green stoplights on your way to work....
The fastest line at the grocery store....
A good sing-along song on the radio..
Your keys found right where you left them.
Send this to the people you'll never forget. I just did...
If you don't send it to anyone, it means you are in way too much of a hurry to even notice the ordinary miracles when they occur.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED!
***************************************************************** Canadian Jokes
JOKE # 1 After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, 'Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona .' The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, 'I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser.' The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, 'I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.' He gets it.
The guy from Molson Canadian sits down and says, 'Give me a Coke.' The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, 'Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?'
The Molson Canadian president replies, 'Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I.'
CANADIAN JOKE #2 A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, 'Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?'
'I got it for my wife, eh.' answers Bob. 'Oh!' exclaims Doug, 'Good trade.'
CANADIAN JOKE #3 An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and asked, 'Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?'
'Sure it's easy,' replied the neurosurgeon. 'All I have to do is cut out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie.'
He was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the neurosurgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting 1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain.
He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anesthetic. As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him, 'I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain.' The patient replied, 'Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?'
CANADIAN JOKE #4 Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia ?
The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.
CANADIAN JOKE #5
In Canada, we have two seasons... six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.
CANADIAN JOKE #6 One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatt Blue. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, 'SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!!'
Rumor has it that the Canadian was of Scottish descent.
CANADIAN JOKE #7 A Quebecer, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. 'Black pepper, or white pepper?' asked the concierge. 'Toilette pepper!' yelled the Quebecer.
Send these on to all of your Canadian friends to give them all a good laugh...EH?!
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDER FROM GOD:
What Will It Be Like and Who Will Be There?
Warning: Danger Ahead! What if you noticed that a bridge had collapsed—a bridge that was around a bend on a high speed highway, the danger of which was out of sight to oncoming traffic—and you were the first to notice it? Would you call 911 immediately to send for urgent help? And would you do everything you could to warn oncoming motorists of the danger ahead? Or would you reason that it wasn't your responsibility to do this, and turn around and be on your way? How cruel, irresponsible, and murderous that would be!
So what if hell is real and I do absolutely nothing to warn people of the impending doom ahead? I would not only be a false witness, I would be an insensitive, uncaring, unloving self-centered person and, consequently, would be contributing to the damning of untold numbers to hell.
When writing on subjects such as hell—considered by many today as being out of step with the times—I have been accused of frightening people and told that I needed to be like Jesus and always be positive. They forget that Jesus blasted the false teachers of his day and repeatedly warned people about the impending dangers of hell, and the tragic consequences ahead for all who fail to heed God's warnings about the future life.
So, Is Hell Real?
The only reliable source to answer this question is God's Word, the Bible, and his Word confirms the reality of hell repeatedly.1 For one of many instances his Word says, "And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life [God's book] was cast into the lake of fire."1
Where Is Hell?
As the Bible doesn't tell us the physical location of heaven, neither does it tell us the physical location of hell. What the Bible does teach, however, is that hell is a literal place of torment of eternal duration. And of this we can be certain, as heaven is where God is, hell is where God and his loving presence aren't, and where Satan, the devil, and his evil demons are.
What Is Hell Like?
"The punishment of the wicked dead in hell is described throughout Scripture as 'eternal fire,'2 'unquenchable fire,'3 'shame and everlasting contempt,'4 a place where 'the fire is not quenched,'5 a place of 'torment' and 'fire,'6 'everlasting destruction,'7 a place where 'the smoke of torment rises forever and ever,'8 and a 'lake of burning sulfur' where the wicked are 'tormented day and night forever and ever,'9 The punishment of the wicked in hell is as never ending as the bliss of the righteous in heaven. Jesus Himself indicates that punishment in hell is just as everlasting as life in heaven.10, 11
Who Will Be in Hell?
Many claim, "If God is a God of love, how could he ever send anyone to hell?" We need to be clear about hell in that it was created, not for mankind, but for Satan, the devil, and his horde of evil demons. In a real sense it isn't God who sends people to hell. If we refuse or fail to accept God's pardon for all our sins, we send ourselves to hell because there is nowhere else to go after death. The only choices are either God's heaven or the devil's hell. Keep in mind that God has provided a way of escape, but it is the responsibility of each individual to accept God's way of escape.
Keep in mind that God is a God of absolute holiness and no sin or evil can ever survive in his presence any more than a moth can survive in a flame. As sinners, in God's presence we would be consumed. God is also a God of perfect justice and, as such, all sin—the breaking of God's laws—must be judged, the penalty of which, and the natural consequences thereof, is spiritual death, which is not the cessation of life, but being dead to God and eternally separated from him. If God were not a God of infinite holiness and perfect justice, he would not be God.
The great news, however, is that God is also a God of infinite love, and out of his eternal love for mankind, he gave his only Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to die in our place on a cruel Roman Cross to pay the just penalty for all our sins. That is, God has made a way of escape from the devastation of hell for everyone who accepts his free pardon and his gift of eternal life.12
So the people in hell are those who have refused or failed to accept God's full and free pardon. And while all who are forgiven will spend forever in heaven with God and his incredible blessings, all who have failed to acknowledge their sinfulness and accepted God's pardon will have to accept God's judgment and penalty for their sins for themselves—which is spiritual death—and spend eternity in hell with Satan and his horde of evil spirits.
The critical issue is: in which direction are you headed? Have you accepted God's forgiveness and are on your pathway to heaven—or are you headed towards hell and eternal punishment? To be absolutely certain that you are on your way to heaven, all you need to do is to confess your sinfulness to God and accept Jesus as your Savior and God's pardon. It is as simple as that.
For help here is a suggested prayer: "Dear God, I admit that I am a sinner and have fallen far short of your standard. I believe that Jesus Christ is your Son and that he died on the cross in my place to pay the penalty of death on my behalf for all my sins. Today, I invite you, Jesus Christ, to come into my heart and life as my personal Lord and Savior. Please forgive me for all my sins and grant to me your gift of eternal life to be with you for all eternity in heaven. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."
********************************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
blood·fin [bluhd-fin] noun a South American characin fish, Aphyocharax rubropinnis, having a silvery body and bright red fins: popular in home aquariums.
Origin: blood + fin
bloodfin ('bl?d?f?n) — n a silvery red-finned South American freshwater fish, Aphyocharax rubripinnis : a popular aquarium fish: family Characidae (characins)
*************************************** Quote Of The Day "Genius differs from talent not by the amount of original thoughts, but by making the latter fertile and by positioning them properly, in other words, by integrating everything into a whole, whereas talent produces only fragments, no matter how beautiful."
********************************************** RECIPES:
Quiche Lorraine
Yield: 4 to 6 servings
In Lorraine, where it was born, quiche is always made in a round dish or flan ring (either fluted or straight sided), and with a thin, light crust.
INGREDIENTS
For the Crust: 2 cups flour 1/4 teaspoon salt pinch sugar 8 tablespoon cold butter, cut into small pieces 3 tablespoon cold vegetable shortening, cut into small pieces 1 egg, lightly beaten
For the Filling: 6 ounce slab bacon, diced 2 eggs, lightly beaten 1 1/2 cups heavy cream 1/2 teaspoon salt Freshly grated nutmeg Freshly ground black pepper DIRECTIONS
FOR THE CRUST: Sift together flour, salt, and sugar into a mixing bowl. Use a pastry blender or two knives to work butter and shortening into flour until it resembles coarse meal. Sprinkle in up to 6 tablespoon ice water, stirring the dough with a fork until it just begins to hold together. Using your hands, press the dough firmly into a rough ball, then transfer to a lightly floured surface. Give the dough several quick kneads with the heel of your hand to form a smooth dough, then shape into a ball, flatten slightly to make a round, and dust with flour. Wrap round in plastic and refrigerate for 2 hours.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Allow dough to soften slightly at room temperature before rolling out on a lightly floured surface into a 14 in. round. Fit dough, without stretching it, into a buttered 10 in. bottomless metal flan ring, 1 1/2 in. deep, set on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet with no rim. Press overhanging dough down slightly into sides of ring to make the sides of the crust a little thicker and sturdier. Run the rolling pin over the top of the ring to remove any overhanging dough. Using a fork, prick bottom lightly, then make a decorative edge around the rim. Line dough with buttered aluminum foil, then add pie weights or dried beans. Bake until crust is set and edge just begins to color, about 25 minutes. Remove foil and weights, brush bottom and sides with egg, and continue baking until crust is pale golden, another 2 to 5 minutes
FOR THE FILLING: Reduce heat to 375 degrees F. Put bacon in a medium pan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil over medium high heat. Boil for 5 minutes, then drain. Return bacon to pan and cook over medium heat until lightly browned, about 3 minutes. Transfer bacon with a slotted spoon to a paper towel to drain, then arrange on bottom of crust. Beat eggs, cream, and salt together in a medium bowl and season to taste with nutmeg and pepper. Pour mixture into crust and bake until custard is puffed and golden and just set in the center, 30 to 35 minutes. Slide quiche off parchment paper onto a serving platter and remove ring. Serve quiche warm or at room temperature, sliced into wedges.
**********************************************
Dark Cherry Bundt Cake Active Time: 45 Minutes Total Time: 3 Hours Yield: 12 servings
Cherries and almond extract pair beautifully in this delectable cake. Yogurt adds subtle flavor and helps keep the cake moist.
Make Ahead Tip: Equipment: 10-inch Bundt pan or tube pan with removable bottom
INGREDIENTS
For Cherry filling: 1/4 cup sugar 1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch 3 cups fresh or frozen (thawed; see Tip) dark sweet cherries, pitted and coarsely chopped 2 tablespoons kirsch (see Note) or orange juice 1 teaspoon freshly grated lemon zest 1/4 teaspoon almond extract
For Cake: 1 2/3 cups cake flour 1 cup whole-wheat pastry flour 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 cup sugar 3 tablespoons butter, slightly softened 3 tablespoons canola oil 1 1/4 cups nonfat vanilla or lemon yogurt 2 large eggs 2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1 teaspoon almond extract 2 teaspoons confectioners' sugar, for garnish
Be sure to measure frozen cherries while still frozen, then thaw. (Drain juice before using).
Ingredient Note: Kirsch (also called kirschwasser) is clear cherry brandy, commonly used as a flavor enhancer in fondue and cherries jubilee.
Equipment Note: A nonreactive pan or container—stainless steel, enamel-coated or glass—is necessary when preparing acidic foods, such as cherries, to prevent the food from reacting with the pan or container. Reactive pans, such as aluminum or cast-iron, can impart an off color and/or off flavor in acidic foods. DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 350°F. Very generously coat a 10-inch Bundt or tube pan with cooking spray. Dust the pan with flour, tapping out the excess.
To prepare cherry filling: Combine sugar and cornstarch in a medium nonreactive saucepan (see Note). Stir in cherries, kirsch (or orange juice), lemon zest and almond extract. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until the mixture looks like very thick jam and has reduced to about 1 cup, 5 to 7 minutes.
To prepare cake: Sift cake flour, whole-wheat flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt into a medium bowl. Beat sugar, butter and oil in a large bowl with an electric mixer on low, then medium speed, until very light and fluffy, about 1 1/2 minutes, scraping the sides as needed. Add half the yogurt and beat until very smooth. With the mixer on low speed, beat in half the dry ingredients until incorporated. Beat in the remaining yogurt, eggs, vanilla and almond extract until combined, scraping the sides as needed. Stir in the remaining dry ingredients just until incorporated. Spoon a generous half of the batter into the prepared pan, spreading to the edges. Spoon the cherry mixture over the batter. Top with the remaining batter. Grease a butter knife and swirl it vertically through the batter and cherries. Bake the cake until a toothpick inserted in the thickest part comes out with no crumbs clinging to it and the top springs back when lightly pressed, 50 to 65 minutes. (Dark-colored metal pans usually bake cakes faster than light-colored or shiny metal pans). Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let stand until the cake is completely cooled, about 1 1/2 hours. Very carefully run a knife around the edges and center tube to loosen the cake from sides and bottom. Rap the pan sharply against the counter several times to loosen completely. Invert the pan onto a serving plate and slide the cake out. Dust the top with confectioners' sugar before serving.
********************************************** Classic Fajitas Yield: Serves 8
Although it was originally made with skirt steak, this combination of steak and vegetables grilled and then wrapped in warm tortillas is the dish that put flank steak on the culinary map in the United States. The ingredients go on the grill in order as the fire dies down: steak over a hot fire, vegetables over a medium fire, and tortillas around the edge of the medium to low fire just to warm them.
INGREDIENTS
For the Chunky Guacamole: 3 medium avocados (preferably Hass) 2 tablespoons onion minced 1 medium clove of garlic minced 1 small jalapeno chile minced (1 to 1 1/2 teaspoons) 1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves minced 1/4 teaspoon table salt 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin (optional) 2 tablespoons lime juice
For the Classic Red Table Salsa: 3 large vine-ripened tomatoes (about 2 pounds), diced small 1/2 cup tomato juice 1 minced chipotle chile in adobo minced (about 2 tablespoons) 1 medium red onion diced small 1 medium clove of garlic minced 1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves chopped 1/2 cup lime juice from 4 medium limes Table salt
For the Flank Steak: 1 flank steak (about 2 1/2 pounds) 1/4 cup lime juice from 2 medium limes Table salt Ground black pepper 1 very large onion peeled and cut into half-inch slices 2 very large red bell peppers or green bell peppers, cored, seeded, and cut into large wedges 16 plain flour tortillas (10-inch)
DIRECTIONS
FOR THE CHUNKY GUACAMOLE: Halve one avocado, remove pit, and scoop flesh into medium bowl. Mash flesh lightly with onion, garlic, jalapeño, cilantro, salt, and cumin (if using) with tines of a fork until just combined. Halve and pit remaining two avocados, and prepare. Gently scoop out avocado into bowl with mashed avocado mixture. Sprinkle lime juice over diced avocado and mix entire contents of bowl lightly with fork until combined but still chunky. Adjust seasoning with salt, if necessary, and serve. (Can be covered with plastic wrap, pressed directly onto surface of mixture, and refrigerated up to one day. Return guacamole to room temperature, removing plastic wrap at the last moment, before serving).
FOR THE CLASSIC RED TABLE SALSA: Mix all ingredients, including salt to taste, in medium bowl. Cover and refrigerate to blend flavors, at least 1 hour or up to 5 days.
FOR THE FLANK STEAKS: Ignite about 7 quarts charcoal and burn until coals are completely covered with thin coating of light-gray ash, 20 to 30 minutes. Pile coals on one-half of grill bottom, position grill rack and heat until very hot (you can hold your hand 5 inches above grill surface for 2 seconds). Generously sprinkle both sides of steak with lime juice, salt and pepper; place directly over coals and grill until well-seared and dark brown on first side, 5 to 7 minutes. Flip steak using tongs; continue grilling on second side until interior of meat is slightly less done than you want it to be when you eat it, 2 to 5 minutes more for medium-rare (depending on heat of fire and thickness of steak). Transfer meat to cutting board; cover loosely with foil, and let rest 5 to 10 minutes. Slice very thin, on bias against the grain; adjust seasoning with additional salt and pepper. When charcoal fire has died down to medium or gas grill burners are adjusted to medium (you can hold your hand 5 inches above grill surface for 4 seconds), grill onions and peppers, turning occasionally, until onions are lightly charred, about 6 minutes, and peppers are streaked with dark grill marks, about 10 minutes. Remove onions and peppers from grill and cut peppers into long, thin strips; set aside. Arrange tortillas around edge of grill; heat until just warmed, about 20 seconds per side. (Do not dry out tortillas or they get brittle; wrap tortillas in towel to keep warm.) Remove to platter; set aside.
TO SERVE FAJITAS: Arrange sliced meat and vegetables on large platter; serve immediately, with tortillas, salsa, and guacamole passed separately.
**********************************************
Vanilla Caramel Flan
Active Time: 35 Minutes Total Time: 3 Hours Yield: Serves 8
The universal dessert of the Mexican cantina, flan offers a true test of baking skill, so keep your eye on the oven for the perfect moment to remove the custard. This version is extra caramelly; be sure to cook the sugar very slowly to coax it to just the right degree of darkness.
INGREDIENTS For Caramel: 1 1/2 cups sugar 1 cup water
For Flan: 2 cups milk 2 cups half and half 3/4 cup sugar 8 whole eggs, plus 4 egg yolks 1 tablespoon vanilla extract Boiling water, as needed
DIRECTIONS Preheat an oven to 325 degrees F.
FOR CARAMEL: In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the sugar and water. Cook, swirling the pan occasionally, until the mixture begins to turn golden, 12-15 minutes. Reduce the heat to low and continue cooking and swirling occasionally until the mixture is dark brown and smells of caramel, about 5 minutes. Remove the caramel from the heat and pour into a 9-inch round cake pan or eight 3/4-cup custard cups. Using a kitchen towel or hot pad, tilt the pan or cups, swirling the caramel to coat the bottom and sides evenly. Let stand for a few minutes; the caramel will cool down and form a layer about 1/4 inch thick on the bottom and sides. Then pour the excess caramel back into the saucepan it was cooked in.
FOR FLAN: Pour the milk into the saucepan holding the excess caramel and place over low heat. Cook, stirring frequently, until the caramel has dissolved in the milk, 3-5 minutes. Strain the warm milk mixture through a fine-mesh sieve set over a bowl. Add the half-and-half and stir to mix well. Add the sugar, whole eggs and egg yolks, and vanilla. Whisk until blended, then strain through the fine-mesh sieve into the prepared pan or cups. Set the pan or cups in a roasting pan and place the roasting pan in the oven. Pour boiling water into the roasting pan to reach halfway up the sides of the cake pan or custard cups. Bake until the center of the custard(s) feel just firm when pressed gently with the fingertips, 45-55 minutes for the large pan or 30-40 minutes for the individual cups. Remove from the oven and let cool for about 1 1/2 hours. Then cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight or for up to 4 days.
TO SERVE: Run a knife along the inside edge of the pan or cups to loosen. Invert a serving dish over the pan or a saucer over each cup. Quickly invert and carefully lift off the pan or cup. Carefully pour excess caramel into a small sauce pitcher. Serve chilled. Offer the extra caramel alongside.
**********************************************
JOKES:
Round of Golf
Two men were playing a round of golf one day. Just as they were about to start one of the holes, a funeral procession went by on the road beside the course. One of the golfers, Clyde, takes off his cap and stands with his cap to his chest, and waits for the entire procession to go by. He then puts his cap back on and proceeds to tee off.
"Gee Clyde, that was a very nice gesture on your part. It was very thoughtful and respectful of you to do that," his friend said.
"Well," Clyde replied, "I was married to her for 30 years, it was the least that I could do."
------------------------
Men are like fine wine.
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it is our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
--------------------------
Four-Letter Words
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Stan started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful four-letter words. You've got to come get me and take me home. Please mama!"
"Frannie, Frannie," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What four-letter words has he been using?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed. They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home. Please mama."
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words." Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, Mama, words like dust, wash, iron, and cook . . . "
-------------------------
Adam's Rib
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Austin seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of Adam's rib. Later in the week, Wendy, his mother, noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, "Austin, what's the matter?"
Little Austin responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
------------------------
Memo
To: Experimental Weaponry Research & Development - Nuclear Hand Grenade Tests From: Experimental Weaponry - Product Testing Subject: Test Results
Gentlemen:
Congratulations on the development of the US arsenal's first nuclear hand grenade. As expected, your demonstration models functioned flawlessly. All test devices detonated as designed, hence the test must be deemed a success.
However, in light of the fact that the device can only be thrown 25 yards, we STRONGLY SUGGEST you reduce the 100 yard killing radius.
P.S. We suggest offering the current stock to Iran and Iraq as part of a buy-one get-one FREE sale.
-------------------------
Mechanical Engineers vs. Civil Engineers
Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDER FROM GOD:
Enlightened or Endarkened
"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."1
You may recall that several years ago Mel Gibson was bitterly criticized for his movie, The Passion of the Christ. Much of the criticism was apparently by people who didn't even see the movie. But that's not my point. What if Mel Gibson, or any other actor for that matter, were doing a movie glorifying homosexuality and/or gay marriage, or promoting the liberal and legal use of marijuana? Chances are many of these same critics would praise such a movie as being enlightening.
One cannot help but wonder if the accelerating moral decline in the U.S.A. didn't begin "in 1947 when the Supreme Court ruled on the 'Separation of Church and State,' opening the door for Madalyn Murray O'hair and her 1962 lawsuit which literally kicked God out of our schools. Furthermore, in 1973, the Supreme Court ruled to make abortions legal, and since that time some 50 million babies have been killed."2
Even many churches today have also gravely lowered their standards of biblical morality. Not so long ago, an openly gay bishop was appointed to the Anglican Church. Does this also mean that a single bishop would be accepted and appointed if he were an openly practicing fornicator? More recently the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) lowered its standard thereby opening the door to allow homosexuals to be ordained as pastors.
One cannot help but wonder at how far we have moved as a society from the light and how much are we now walking in darkness?
Years ago former president, Dwight D. Eisenhower, posed the same question: "In the swift rush of great events, we find ourselves groping to know the full sense and meaning of these times in which we live. In our quest of understanding, we beseech God's guidance. We summon all our knowledge of the past and we scan all signs of the future. We bring all our wit and all our will to meet the question: How far have we come in man's long pilgrimage from darkness toward the light? Are we nearing the light—a day of freedom and of peace for all mankind? Or are the shadows of another night closing in upon us?"
I am also reminded of the words of President Ronald Reagan who said, "If we ever forget that we are one nation under God, then we will be one nation gone under!"
With God's help let us make sure that you and I walk in the light—the light as revealed to us in God's Word, the Bible.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help us as a nation to see the folly of our ways when we turn from the light of your Word and walk in darkness. In your mercy please send a great spiritual awakening to our country … and let it begin in me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. 1 John 1:5-7 (NIV).
******************************* WORD OF THE DAY:
auscultation aw-skuhl-TEY-shuhn , noun: The act of listening to sounds within the body as a method of diagnosis.
Auscultation shows it clearly enough, once I had grown accustomed to his particular bodily sounds. It is a very valuable diagnostic tool, little known in England, I believe. -- Patrick O'Brian, The Yellow Admiral
Even as he examined the cousins, he went on talking about the matter in a melancholy, resigned tone of voice, for he was such an expert in auscultation that he could simultaneously listen to a patient's interior, talk about something else, and dictate what he had heard to his assistant. -- Thomas Mann, The Magic Mountain
The Latin roots of auscultation have been buried in English. The word auscultare meant "to hear or to listen" from the root auris which meant "ear." The suffix -ion forms nouns from stems, as in communication and opinion.
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RECIPES:
Lemon Lesson
When a recipe calls for the juice of one lemon, figure on 2 to 3 tablespoons of juice. When a recipe calls for lemon zest, figure on getting 1 tablespoon from an average-sized lemon.
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Brunch Turnovers Active Time: 25 Minutes Total Time: 2 Hours 5 Minutes Yield: Makes 6 servings
Brighten your morning with tasty packets of dill-seasoned meat and cheese. For a handy shape, fold each square in half to create a rectangular turnover.
INGREDIENTS Pastry for Single-Crust Pie 2 tablespoons finely chopped onion 1 tablespoon margarine or butter 1 beaten egg 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese 1 cup finely chopped fully cooked ham (5 ounces) 2 teaspoons snipped fresh dill or 1/2 teaspoon dried dill weed 1/8 teaspoon pepper Dash garlic powder Milk
Other necessary recipes: Basic Pie Pastry
DIRECTIONS Prepare pastry as directed, except roll the dough into a 15-by-10-inch rectangle. Cut into six 5-inch squares. Cover dough with plastic wrap and set aside. In a small saucepan cook onion in hot margarine or butter till tender but not brown. In a medium mixing bowl combine egg, cheese, ham, dill, pepper, and garlic powder; stir in onion mixture. Spoon about 1/3 cup of the filling onto each pastry square. Moisten edges of pastry with a little water. Fold each pastry square in half, sealing edges well by pressing with the tines of a fork. Place on an ungreased baking sheet. Prick tops. Brush lightly with milk. Bake in a preheated 375 degrees F oven about 30 minutes, or till golden. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.
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Huevos Rancheros Verdes
Active Time: 30 Minutes Total Time: 30 Minutes Yield: 4 servings
Huevos rancheros or “ranch eggs†is a classic Mexican dish that is great for a quick dinner. Traditionally, it’s made with a red tomato-based sauce. Here we use tart and tangy green salsa instead. Serve with: brown rice and slices of avocado.
INGREDIENTS 1 1/2 cups very thinly sliced romaine lettuce 1 scallion, sliced 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro 3 teaspoons canola oil, divided 2 teaspoons lime juice 1/4 teaspoon salt, divided 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, divided 1 15-ounce can pinto beans, rinsed 1/2 cup prepared green salsa (see Tip) 8 6-inch corn tortillas Canola oil cooking spray 3/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese 4 large eggs
Tip: : Green salsa (sometimes labeled salsa verde or tomatillo salsa) is made with tomatillos, green chiles and onions. Look for it near other prepared salsa in large supermarkets. DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 400°F. Combine lettuce, scallion, cilantro, 1 teaspoon oil, lime juice, 1/8 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon pepper in a bowl; set aside. Combine beans and salsa in another bowl. Coat both sides of each tortilla with cooking spray. Place tortillas on a large baking sheet in 4 sets of overlapping pairs. (Each pair should overlap by about 3 inches). Spread about 1/3 cup of the bean mixture on top of each pair of tortillas and sprinkle with 3 tablespoons cheese each. Bake until the beans are hot and the cheese is melted, about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, heat the remaining 2 teaspoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Crack each egg into a small bowl and slip them one at a time into the pan, taking care not to break the yolks. Season the eggs with the remaining 1/8 teaspoon salt and pepper. Reduce heat to medium-low and cook undisturbed for 5 to 7 minutes for soft-set yolks. (For hard-set yolks, cover the pan after 5 minutes and continue cooking until the yolks are cooked through, 4 to 6 minutes more). To assemble, place an egg on top of each pair of tortillas and top with a generous 1/4 cup of the lettuce mixture.
****************************** Quick Breakfast Taco
Active Time: 15 Minutes Total Time: 15 Minutes Yield: 1 serving
A smaller cousin of the breakfast burrito, the breakfast taco made with reduced-fat Cheddar and egg substitute is a satisfying and healthy breakfast option.
INGREDIENTS 2 corn tortillas 1 tablespoon salsa 2 tablespoons shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese 1/2 cup liquid egg substitute
DIRECTIONS Top tortillas with salsa and cheese. Heat in the microwave until the cheese is melted, about 30 seconds. Meanwhile coat a small nonstick skillet with cooking spray. Heat over medium heat, add egg substitute and cook, stirring, until the eggs are cooked through, about 90 seconds. Divide the scrambled egg between the tacos.
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Scrambled Egg Burritos Active Time: 15 Minutes Total Time: 30 Minutes Yield: 4 servings
These zesty Southwestern egg burritos are always a hit whether you serve them for breakfast, brunch, lunch or a casual dinner. The homemade black bean salsa adds a special touch, but these are extra-quick if you use your favorite jarred salsa.
INGREDIENTS 4 9-inch whole-wheat flour tortillas 4 large eggs 1/8 teaspoon salt Freshly ground pepper to taste 1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil 1 4-ounce can chopped green chiles 1/2 cup grated Cheddar or pepper jack cheese 2 cups Black Bean & tomato Salsa (see recipe link above) 1/4 cup reduced-fat sour cream
Two Easy Ways to Heat Tortillas:
Microwave: Stack 4 tortillas between damp paper towels and microwave on high for 30 seconds, or until hot and pliable.
Oven: Preheat oven to 300°F. Stack tortillas (about 4 in a batch) and wrap
Other necessary recipes: Black Bean & Tomato Salsa
DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 350°F. Wrap tortillas in foil and heat in the oven for 5 to 10 minutes Blend eggs, salt and pepper in a medium bowl with a fork until blended. Heat oil in a 10-inch nonstick skillet over medium-low heat. Add chiles and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add eggs and cook, stirring slowly with a wooden spoon or heatproof rubber spatula, until soft, fluffy curds form, 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 minutes. To serve, divide eggs evenly among the tortillas. Sprinkle each with about 2 tablespoons cheese and roll up. Serve with salsa and sour cream.
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Ham, Gruyere & Spinach Bread Pudding Active Time: 30 Minutes Total Time: 1 Hour 45 Minutes Yield: 6 servings
High-quality smoked ham is worth the cost. It infuses the pudding with a smoky flavor that complements the spinach, peppers, rosemary and Gruyere.
Make Ahead Tip: Prepare the pudding through Step 3; refrigerate overnight. Let stand at room temperature while the oven preheats. Bake as directed in Step 4.
INGREDIENTS
For Custard: 4 large egg whites 4 large eggs 1 cup skim milk
For Seasonings: 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 1 teaspoon minced fresh rosemary
For Bread & filling: 4 cups whole-grain bread, crusts removed if desired, cut into 1-inch cubes (about 1/2 pound, 4-6 slices) 5 cups chopped spinach, wilted (see Tip) 1/2 cup chopped jarred roasted red peppers 1 cup diced ham steak (5 ounces)
For Topping: 3/4 cup shredded gruyere cheese
Tip: To wilt greens, rinse greens thoroughly in cool water. Transfer them to a large microwave-safe bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and punch several holes in the wrap. Microwave on high until wilted, 2 to 3 minutes. Squeeze out any excess moisture from the greens before adding them to the recipe. DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Coat an 11-by-7-inch glass baking dish or a 2-quart casserole with cooking spray. To prepare custard: Whisk egg whites, eggs and milk in a medium bowl. Add mustard, pepper and rosemary: whisk to combine. Toss bread, spinach, roasted red peppers and ham in a large bowl. Add the custard and toss well to coat. Transfer to the prepared baking dish and push down to compact. Cover with foil. Bake until the custard has set, 40 to 45 minutes. Uncover, sprinkle with cheese and continue baking until the pudding is puffed and golden on top, 15 to 20 minutes more. Transfer to a wire rack and cool for 15 to 20 minutes before serving.
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JOKES:
One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says "Big Chief, no shit". the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow.
The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. the next morning the warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says "big chief, no shit". the doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the chief.
The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor's house yet again saying "big chief, no shit". the doctor gets annoyed and so gives the warrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief.
The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor (AGAIN):
"Big shit, no chief".
****************************** A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."
The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both..
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied, "My bike."
ENJOY YOUR DAY and remember to keep off the roads when riding somebody else's bicycle.
****************************** When I'll be dead! Nice Poem for all to remember!
When I'll be dead, your tears will flow, But I won't know Cry for me now instead ! When I'll be dead, you will send flowers, But I won't see Send them now instead ! When I'll be dead, you'll say words of praise, But I won't hear Praise me now instead ! When I'll be dead, you'll forget my faults But I won't know Forget then now, instead ! When I'll be dead, you'll miss me then But I won't feel Miss me now, instead ! When I'll be dead, you'll wish you had spent more time with me, Spend it now instead !! Spend time with every person you love, every one you care for. Make them feel special, for you never know when time will take them away from you forever ! ******************************
The Indian Olympics...l The Indian Olympics were taking place in Regina and the next competition was the Hammer Toss. The first Indian up was representing New Brunswick . He grabs the hammer and tosses it 250 yards. " Holy shit you have broken the world record, How did you do it?" he was asked. "My grandfather was a fisher, my father is a fisher and I am a fisher, have strong arms, throw hammer far." The second Indian is representing BC, grabs the hammer and tosses it 300 yards. "You just broke the last guys record, How'd you do it?" he is asked. "My grandfather was a logger, my father is a logger and I am a logger, strong arms, throw hammer far." The third Indian is representing Manitoba and he grabs the hammer and throws it 375 yards. "Holy shit, you just blew everyone away, How'd you do it?" "My grandfather was on welfare, my father is on welfare and I am on welfare. I was taught that if I ever see a tool, pick it up and throw it as far away as possible."
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SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.' The room erupted in applause DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS.
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THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY AN AUSTRALIAN GIRL
Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....
The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Australia . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.
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Welfare Check... A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and Bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDER FROM GOD:
Words of Wisdom
"Hear instruction, and be wise."1
I love one-liners. Many are like modern proverbs and are like nuggets of gold or pearls of wisdom. Here are a few:
"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." – William Blake
"Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated; you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." – David Lloyd George
"I would rather fail in a cause that will ultimately triumph than to triumph in a cause that will ultimately fail." – Jim Elliot
"Would that God would make hell so real to us that we cannot rest; heaven so real that we must have men there; Christ so real that our supreme motive and aim shall be to make the Man of Sorrows the Man of Joy by the conversion to him of many." – J. Hudson Taylor.
"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." – Chinese proverb
"You are wise when you learn from your mistakes. You are wiser still when you learn from others' mistakes." – Rob Acker
"The experience of resistance and frustration is often an indication that you are doing the wrong thing." – Brian Tracy
"Every person is working for him or herself." – Brian Tracy
"He who never walks except where he sees other men's tracks will make no discoveries." – Unknown
"Success is a marathon, not a sprint." – Unknown
And, "If it's going to be, it will be up to me." – Unknown
"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" – God (Jeremiah 32:27, NIV).
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths" – God (Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV).
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please give me a heart for wisdom that I might know your truth and live according to it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."
******************************* WORD OF THE DAY:
exoteric ek-suh-TER-ik , adjective: 1. Suitable for or communicated to the general public. 2. Not belonging, limited, or pertaining to the inner or select circle, as of disciples or intimates. 3. Popular; simple; commonplace. 4. Pertaining to the outside; exterior; external.
Every religion under the heavens has a set of exoteric beliefs for the common man and a secret set of esoteric beliefs known only to a privileged inner circle. -- C. M. Palov, The Templar's Code
The exoteric explanation is the one that conforms to the level of the simple thought patterns and understanding of the majority. -- Kate H. Winter, The Woman in the Mountain
Like its opposite esoteric, exoteric is from the Greek root -teros. Exoterikós generally referred to anything outside.
******************************* RECIPES:
Michael Symon's Gnudi
skill level easy time 1-30min servings 4
This Italian dish is simple and delicious. The rich cheese pasta with fresh sage is the perfect dish for Valentine's Day. share
ingredients 1 1/2 cup Ricotta 1 cup Freshly Grated Parmesan 2 Egg 1 Yolk 1/4 teaspoon Nutmeg plus extra for garnish 1/2 teaspoon Salt Freshly Ground Black Pepper 1/2 cup Flour 5 1/2-6 cup Semolina Flour 4 tablespoon Unsalted Butter (Cubed) 15 Small Sage Leaves 1/4 cup Pasta Water kitchenware Liquid Measuring Cup
ingredients 1 1/2 cup Ricotta 1 cup Freshly Grated Parmesan 2 Egg 1 Yolk 1/4 teaspoon Nutmeg 1/2 teaspoon Salt Freshly Ground Black Pepper 1/2 cup Flour
instructions In a mixing bowl, whisk together the first 7 ingredients. Using a rubber spatula, fold in the flour. You may need to add another teaspoon of flour here. The batter should be sticky, not wet and loose. You want this mixture to be able to hold its shape.
ingredients 5 1/2 cup Semolina Flour
instructions Spread about 3 cups of the semolina into a baking dish with sides. With wet hands, form the ricotta mixture into little balls, using about a tablespoon each. Drop them into the semolina. When all of the balls have been formed, cover them with the remaining 1 ½ cups of semolina. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours.
instructions Carefully unearth the gnudi and place them on a rimmed baking sheet. The flour that remains can be sifted back into a container to use in the future. instructions Put a pot of salted water on to boil to cook the gnudi. When the water is boiling, drop the gnudi in. They will cook for a few minutes, and then float to the top when they are ready. Keep in mind that you are just trying to cook the thin pasta exterior. The inside should be molten and creamy.
ingredients 4 tablespoon Unsalted Butter (Cubed) 15 Small Sage Leaves 1/4 cup Pasta Water Nutmeg to taste
instructions While the gnudi is cooking, in a skillet, melt the butter over medium heat. Watch it carefully, and when the butter solids begin to brown and the butter is foamy, add the sage leaves. This only takes about 1 ½ minutes. Just a few moments longer on the heat and the butter should turn a nutty brown color. By this time, the gnudi should be floating. Turn the heat off on your butter, and using a slotted spoon; carefully remove the gnudi to the pan of brown butter and sage. It will spatter slightly so be careful. Add the pasta water and gently stir to coat. Pour into a serving bowl and garnish with some freshly grated nutmeg over the top. Serve immediately!
******************************* Carla Hall's Blackened Chicken
skill level easy time 30-60min servings 4-6
Carla's blackened chicken makes a perfect family dinner! share
ingredients 3 tablespoons smoked paprika 3 tablepsoons sweet paprika 2 tablespoons cayenne pepper 1 tablespoon onion powder 1 tablespoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 teaspsoon dried thyme 1 teaspoon salt 6 chicken breasts/thighs (skin on and bone-in) 1 stick of butter (melted) 1 lime cut into wedges (for garnish) step by step directions. instructions Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
ingredients 3 tablespoons smoked paprika 3 tablepsoons sweet paprika 2 tablespoons cayenne pepper 1 tablespoon onion powder 1 tablespoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 teaspsoon dried thyme 1 teaspoon salt 1 stick of butter (melted) 6 chicken breasts/thighs (skin on and bone-in)
instructions Combine spices in a mixing bowl. Add melted butter and stir to combine. Add chicken to bowl and toss until all sides of the chicken are coated with spiced butter mixture.
instructions Cook chicken in a cast iron skillet for 3 minutes per side.
Place skillet into oven for 30-40 minutes until cooked the juice run clear when poked with a knife.
ingredients 1 lime cut into wedges (for garnish)
instructions Remove chicken from oven, top with a squeeze of fresh lime juice and serve.
******************************* Country White Bread or Dinner Rolls (Bread Machine) Total Time: 45 Prep Time: 15 Cook Time: 30
We think this is the best white bread recipe ever! It is a
tender bread with a slightly sweet taste. My dinner rolls
using this dough a ...
Ingredients:
Servings: 15
1 cup water , plus 1 tablespoon water (70-80 F) 1 large egg 4 ½ teaspoons vegetable oil 3 ¼ cups bread flour ¼ cup sugar 1 ½ teaspoons salt 1 ½ teaspoons instant yeast 2 tablespoons melted butter (for dinner rolls only)
(optional) 2 tablespoons shortening (for dinner rolls only) (optional)
Directions:
1 In bread machine pan, place all ingredients from flour
through yeast in order as recommended by the
manufacturer. 2 Select the basic bread setting. 3 Check dough after 5 minutes of mixing, if needed add
1-2T of water or flour. 4 Bake as normal. 5 For dinner rolls. 6 Mix in bread machine but use only the dough option. 7 Lightly grease a 9 x 13 baking pan (I always use a
metal pan). 8 When dough is finished shape into 15 uniformly sized
balls. I always grease my hands with shortening to
smooth the dough out and it helps keep the dough from
drying out. 9 Cover and let the rolls rise in a warm, draft free place
until risen to the desired size. 10 I let them about double in size. 11 Bake in a 350° oven about 12-15 minutes until
golden brown. 12 After removing from the oven, brush the tops of the
rolls with melted butter. 13 Take out of pan and let completely cool before
storing.
Read more: http://www.food.com/recipe/country-white-
bread-or-dinner-rolls-bread-machine-
71373#ixzz1mBlSJAw6
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Michael Symon's Pickled Green Beans
skill level easy time 1-30min servings over 12
Green beans are healthy and delicious. Now you can have them pickled too. share
things you'll need.
ingredients Kosher Salt2 pound Green BeansWhite Wine Vinegar7 Garlic cloves (peeled)4 sprigs Fresh Dill2 Fresno Chilies3 Bay Leaves3 Brined Grape Leaves2 tablespoon sugarprevious kitchenware Liquid Measuring Cupnext
ingredients Kosher Salt 2 pound Green Beans
instructions Bring a large pot of water to a boil and add enough salt so that it tastes like the ocean, about 1 cup per gallon. When the water returns to a boil, blanch the vegetables in the boiling water for 1 minute, then drain them and run under cold water to cool.
ingredients 2 tablespoon sugar White Wine Vinegar
instructions Pack the vegetables in two 1-quart jars and cover them with water to come within 1/2-inch of the rim. Pour water out into a measuring cup. Note the volume, pour off half the water, and replace it with vinegar. Add 2 tablespoons sugar and 2 tablespoons salt for every 3 cups of liquid.
ingredients 7 Garlic cloves (peeled) 4 sprigs Fresh Dill 2 Fresno Chilies 3 Bay Leaves 3 Brined Grape Leaves
instructions Pour the vinegar mixture into a large bowl and add the garlic, dill, chilies, and bay leaves. Pour the liquid over the vegetables. Top with the grape leaves and weight down the ingredients with a ramekin or plate to ensure everything is submerged in brine.
instructions Place the jars in a cool ventilated area for 1 to 2 weeks. The brine will become cloudy when the fermentation begins. When the liquid is clear, the fermentation is complete and you can seal the jars. The pickles are ready to eat immediately but will keep for up to 1 month in the refrigerator.
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JOKES:
Women Drivers
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my right and there was a Woman in a brand new VW !! Doing 75 With her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. BL0#DY women drivers!!
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For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2012: Important Investment Tips for 2012 1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace. 2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker. 3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood. 4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa. 5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP. 6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild. 7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants. 8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW! And finally.... 9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang
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Enough Said A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview. "Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name? "Morris Feinberg," he replied. "Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?" "For about 60 years." "60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace among the Christians, Jews and the Muslims." "I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop." "I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man." "I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests." "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?" "Like I'm talking to a fucking wall."
*********************************** The hotel bill A married couple is traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George . Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use.
"But we didn't use them," the husband said.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn't have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is only made out for $50.00."
"That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Don't mess with senior citizens. They didn't get there by being stupid!
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WHY NEWFIES CAN'T BE PARAMEDICS Jim and Bud are out in the woods hunting when suddenly Bud grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. Jim whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "Lard t'undering Jaysus!! I tink Bud is dead!! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence...........And then a gun shot is heard. Jim comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"
************************************ Scottish Diplomacy
One thing about blokes from Scotland is that their hearts and humour are always in the right place!
Jimmy MacDonald, a City Councillor from Glasgow, was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.
HIS STATEMENT:
'If hooking up one rag-head terrorist's testicles to a car battery gets the truth out of the lying little camel shagger to save just one Scottish soldiers life, then I have only three things to say; Red is positive, Black is negative and make sure his nuts are wet Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:
1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim
2.. If you own a £3,000 machine gun and £5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. You may be a Muslim
3. If you have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean. You may be a Muslim
5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim
6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. You may be a Muslim
7. If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You may be a Muslim
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You may be a Muslim
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. You may be a Muslim
10. If you find this offensive or racist and don't forward it. You may be a Muslim
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDERS FROM GOD:
Choke Hold
Matthew 13:22, NIV: "The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful."
Distracted by this life I lead. Burdens carried all the way. Forgetting there is so much more, in store for us to see each day. Sometimes I wonder what it will take to shake us out of the zombie like daze we stammer in throughout this life. So many of us, so many times, walk around with eyes on everything but Jesus. The "worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke" the word in us; "making it unfruitful." When will we see this life is fleeting? When will we learn to let go of the things that are so terribly defeating, and cling to God in perfect love? We say that Heaven will be a place so glorious that it will overshadow the greatest of delights of this life. If we so believe, then why can't we see that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand? We do not need to wait to experience eternal joy. We simply need to take our Jesus by the hand; making Him the true and absolute first pursuit of our lives. I can with all assuredness say to you that nothing in this life--the worries or riches--will ever be so big, or important.
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WORD FOR THE DAY:
screed skreed , noun: 1. A long discourse or essay, especially a diatribe. 2. An informal letter, account, or other piece of writing. 3. Building Trades. A. A strip of plaster or wood applied to a surface to be plastered to serve as a guide for making a true surface. B. A wooden strip serving as a guide for making a true level surface on a concrete pavement or the like. C. A board or metal strip dragged across a freshly poured concrete slab to give it its proper level. 4. British Dialect. A fragment or shred, as of cloth. 5. Scot. A. A tear or rip, especially in cloth. B. A drinking bout.
verb: 1. Scot. To tear, rip, or shred, as cloth.
By the time this screed gets to you the drafts may have come, but as I've heard nothing yet and been writing for two months now, you'd better have a look anyway. Will you please? -- Ernest Hemingway, Selected Letters
I bet I could turn out a rattling good screed. Why, last year I almost got the prize. I sent in fearfully hot stuff. -- P. G. Wodehouse, The Prefect's Uncle
Screed is related to the Old English word for shred. Its alternate sense of a long speech was first recorded in 1789 and may be related to the sense of the word meaning a long lists of names.
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HELPFUL HINTS & USELESS(FUL) INFO:
Feed the Fire By opening the window that is closest to the fireplace, the fire will use oxygen from outside, instead of taking it from inside the rest of the house. You only need to open the window an inch or less.
The number-one killer of dogs is...dental disease! And the symptoms are easy to miss. But knowing the problem exists can save your pet from an early death. Veterinarian Jean Joo, DVM, of Tufts Veterinary Emergency Treatment and Specialties clinic, reveals the danger signs. Dental Disease in Dogs Is On the Rise ...and It Can Kill Your Pet
Dental disease is the most common disease in dogs. It affects 59 out of every 100 dogs seen by vets, according to researchers at Banfield Pet Hospital in Portland, Oregon. And it’s on the rise—since 2006, it has increased by more than 12%. The reason for the increase isn’t known. Dogs with dental disease may have difficulty chewing. They can lose their teeth. But the biggest danger is that they face a higher risk for other diseases because the bacteria that are responsible for dental disease can enter the bloodstream and infect the heart, kidneys and/or other organs. Here’s how to protect your dog from dental disease… IT STARTS IN THE GUMS The most common form of dental disease in dogs is periodontal disease. Periodontal disease in dogs is similar to periodontal disease in humans. It is an ongoing inflammation of the gums that can cause bleeding and tenderness. Dogs with gingivitis—the earliest stage of periodontal disease—usually will have tooth discoloration near the gums. The gums will be red and swollen. Without treatment, gingivitis can progress to periodontitis, a more severe form of inflammation that can damage the underlying bone and lead to tooth loss, as well as more dangerous conditions. Example: A Perdue University study, published in Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association, found that dogs with periodontal disease had a higher risk for congestive heart failure, as well as endocarditis, an inflammation of the heart valves. WHICH DOGS ARE MOST AT RISK? Any dog can develop dental disease. Some breeds are more prone to it, however. The breeds most likely to develop dental problems are toy poodles, Yorkshire terriers, Maltese, Pomeranians and Shetland sheepdogs. These breeds tend to have more severe problems because they have large teeth relative to the size of the jaw. This causes tooth-crowding that traps food and hair, along with plaque, the sticky substance that leads to gum disease. Also at increased risk: Bulldogs, pugs, boxers and other brachycephalic breeds with “pushed-in†faces. Because of the shape and size of their jaws, the teeth are crowded. DANGER SIGNS If your dog has a few discolored teeth, it may indicate dental disease. If all the teeth are uniformly discolored, it’s probably just normal staining. If just one or a few teeth are discolored, your dog needs to get checked. In addition, any change in your dog’s breath—particularly if it is accompanied by gum redness or apparent mouth discomfort—should be checked by a veterinarian. Veterinarians routinely do mouth-and-gum examinations when you bring your dog in for a checkup. You should take your dog to the veterinarian at least once a year, although dogs that already have dental disease may need to be checked every six months. DOGGIE DENTAL CARE Important steps to protect your dog… Brush your dog’s teeth at least every other day. Daily brushing is ideal. Dogs need to have their teeth brushed for the same reasons that people do—it removes bacteria-laden plaque before it has a chance to harden and turn into tartar. Use a toothbrush your dog likes. There are toothbrushes made for dogs, including finger brushes, which go on the end of your index finger. But a child’s toothbrush can work…and some dogs will accept electric toothbrushes. Never use human toothpastes for your pet. These contain ingredients such as xylitol that are not safe for dogs. Pet stores sell a variety of toothpastes in dog-friendly flavors, such as liver or poultry. Feed dogs dry food. Wet foods leave a sticky coating on the teeth that makes it easier for plaque to accumulate. Dry foods don’t leave as much of this film. Also, the crunching that’s required to eat dry food can help clean the teeth. Some foods promote dental cleaning. These include Hill’s Prescription Diet t/d and Purina’s DH Dental Health foods. They have larger-sized kibbles that help clean the teeth. Also helpful: Dry dog foods from Iams/Eukanuba. They’re coated with substances that prevent minerals in saliva from accumulating and hardening on the teeth. Provide tooth-friendly toys. A variety of chew toys are promoted for dental benefits. There’s no real evidence that these work better than other chews, but they might help. I like sturdy rubber toys because they have a little “giveâ€â€”dogs can chew them without the risk of breaking a tooth. A company called Kong makes good ones. Special rawhides, such as Tartar Shield Soft Rawhide Chews, also are a good choice for many dogs. Important: Look for the foods and treats that have been awarded the Veterinary Oral Health Council (VOHC) seal. It’s displayed on products that have been proved to help control plaque and tartar. Spike their water. You can add liquid products to your dog’s water that reduce the concentration of oral bacteria and inhibit the formation of plaque. Products such as Dog Essential HealthyMouth, made by HealthyMouth, can reduce plaque by more than two-thirds. PROFESSIONAL CLEANING If you have a dog that has never or rarely had its teeth cleaned, you may want to schedule a professional cleaning. This is particularly important if tarter is already present, since it can’t be removed by brushing alone. What’s involved: The procedure is done under general anesthesia. The teeth are “scaled,†or scraped, to remove tartar. The veterinarian also will clean under the gums where infections and periodontal disease originate. Cost: Generally between $100 and $500. Source: Jean Joo, DVM, dental and oral surgeon at Tufts Veterinary Emergency Treatment and Specialties clinic in Walpole, Massachusetts, and an assistant clinical professor in the department of clinical sciences at Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine, North Grafton, Massachusetts.
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Are you feeling a bit down as the winter drags on? Have some bananas–you will feel better fast. Ara DerMarderosian, PhD, professor at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia, explains why this everyday fruit can fight depression–and make you healthier in the bargain. Feeling Blue? Try Bananas
You may already know that bananas are chock-full of potassium (one ripe banana supplies more than 10% of an adult’s daily requirement). It’s crucial to get enough potassium because people with a low dietary intake of the mineral are 28% more likely to suffer a stroke than those who consume higher levels, probably because adequate potassium levels help control blood pressure. The other health benefits of bananas are less well-known. For example, as a good source of tryptophan (a precursor to serotonin, a brain chemical that helps regulate mood), bananas help fight depression. Bananas also are rich in the B vitamin folate—several epidemiological studies have linked low blood levels of folate and vitamins B-6 and B-12 to an increased risk for depression. Research has not identified the optimal daily intake of bananas to fight depression, but anecdotal evidence suggests that eating two to three bananas (or other tryptophan sources, such as turkey and cottage cheese) daily—while maintaining a well-balanced diet and getting regular exercise—may help prevent mild-to-moderate depression. In addition, bananas help fight heartburn by neutralizing acidity and soothing and coating esophageal tissue with pectin. Important: In rare cases, bananas may cause an allergic reaction. Overly ripe bananas with blackened skin can increase blood sugar levels. People with kidney problems should check with their doctors before eating this potassium-rich fruit. Source: Ara DerMarderosian, PhD, is professor of pharmacognosy (the study of natural products used in medicine) and Roth chair of natural products at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia. He is coeditor of The Review of Natural Products (Lippincott Williams & Wilkins).
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RECIPE:
Easy Baked Chicken and Potato Dinner for Two This baked dish brings home all the flavors of a roast chicken with vegetables, and it makes just enough for two. PREP TIME 20 min TOTAL TIME 1 hr SERVINGS 2 2 boneless skinless chicken breast halves (1/2 pound) 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 1/2 cup Bisquick Heart Smart® mix or Original Bisquick® mix 3/4 pound small red potato, cut into fourths 1 small red or green bell pepper, cut into 1/2-inch pieces 1 small onion, cut into 8 wedges Cooking spray 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese, if desired 1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 Heat oven to 400ºF. Spray baking dish, 13x9x2 inches, with cooking spray. 2 Brush chicken with 1 tablespoon of the mustard, then coat with Bisquick mix. Place 1 chicken breast half in each corner of pan. Place potatoes, bell pepper and onion in center of pan; brush vegetables with remaining mustard. Spray chicken and vegetables with cooking spray; sprinkle evenly with cheese and paprika. 3 Bake 35 to 40 minutes, stirring vegetables after 20 minutes, until potatoes are tender and juice of chicken is no longer pink when centers of thickest pieces are cut. Expert Tips Line baking dish with aluminum foil before spraying with nonstick cooking spray. Now cleanup means tossing out the foil! Let your imagination and your taste buds run wild by trying different potatoes for color and flavor. Choose Yukon Gold, purple, Yellow Finnish or Texas finger potatoes. To ensure even roasting and browning, place baking dish on the center rack in the oven.
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Firehouse Frito Pie
Classic Frito pie is a pile of Fritos topped with beefy chili and runny cheese often made straight in the chip bag! Our refined and lightened version is fresh-tasting and delicious. A whole 1/2 cup of chili powder gives it plenty of punch. Top with tomato, lettuce and just a little cheese (hold the Whiz, please).
8 servings
Active Time: 1 hour Total Time: 1 hour
INGREDIENTS 1 tablespoon canola oil 1 large onion, chopped 1 pound 93%-lean ground turkey 1/2 cup chili powder 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1 large zucchini, shredded 1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes 1 cup reduced-sodium beef broth or chicken broth 16 5- to 6-inch corn tortillas Cooking spray, preferably canola oil 2 15-ounce cans red kidney beans, rinsed, divided 2 cups shredded Colby-Jack cheese or sharp Cheddar cheese 1 medium tomato, diced 2 cups shredded romaine lettuce 1 bunch scallions, sliced Pickled jalapeños (for garnish)
PREPARATION Position racks in middle and lower third of oven; preheat to 375°F. Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion and turkey; cook, stirring and breaking up with a spoon, until the turkey is no longer pink, about 5 minutes. Add chili powder and cumin; cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add zucchini, tomatoes and broth and bring to a simmer. Partially cover and cook, stirring occasionally and maintaining a simmer, for 30 minutes. Meanwhile, coat both sides of each tortilla with cooking spray. Cut them in half, then cut each half into 1-inch strips. Spread the strips on 2 large rimmed baking sheets. Bake, rotating the pans from top to bottom and stirring halfway through, until crisp, about 25 minutes. Mash 1 cup beans in a bowl. After the chili has simmered for 30 minutes, stir in the mashed beans and whole beans. Cook until the beans are heated through, about 3 minutes more. To serve, place about 3/4 cup tortilla strips in each of 8 shallow bowls. Ladle about 1 1/4 cups chili on top. Garnish with cheese, tomato, lettuce, scallions and pickled jalapeños (if desired).
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate the chili (Steps 2 & 4) for up to 2 days.
NUTRITION Per serving: 447 calories; 17 g fat ( 7 g sat , 4 g mono ); 58 mg cholesterol; 49 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 29 g protein; 13 g fiber; 735 mg sodium; 1067 mg potassium. Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin A (82% daily value), Vitamin C (40% dv), Calcium (37% dv), Iron (33% dv), Potassium (31% dv), Magnesium (27% dv), Folate (23% dv), ZInc (18% dv) Carbohydrate Servings: 2 1/2Exchanges: 2 1/2 starch, 1 vegetable, 3 lean meat, 1 high-fat meat
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Sauerbraten Meatballs
Total Time: 42 mins Prep Time: 12 mins Cook Time: 30 mins
For Meatballs 1 lb lean ground beef 1/3; cup crushed gingersnap cookie ½ cup finely chopped onion ¼ cup water ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon pepper
For the Sauce 1 cup beef broth ¼ cup apple cider vinegar 1 tablespoon sugar ¼ cup crushed gingersnap cookie 2 tablespoons raisins 1 tablespoon cornstarch
Other 6 ounces uncooked egg noodles 6 ounces spaetzle noodles
Directions:
1 Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. 2 Mix together beef, 1/3 cup gingersnaps, onion, water, salt, and pepper in a mixing bowl. 3 Shape mixture into 24 meatballs. 4 Place on rack on baking pan and bake, uncovered, for 20-25 minutes, or until cooked through. 5 Cook noodles and drain. 6 Mi x sauce ingredients except raisins in a medium saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens and comes to a boil. 7 Stir in raisins and meatballs; heat through. 8 Serve over cooked noodles.
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Slow Cooker Cheesy Potato Soup PREP TIME 15 min TOTAL TIME 6 hr 45 min SERVINGS 6 1 bag (32 oz) frozen southern-style diced hash brown potatoes, thawed 1/2 cup frozen chopped onion (from 12-oz bag), thawed 1 medium stalk celery, diced (1/2 cup) 1 carton (32-oz) Progresso® chicken broth 1 cup water 3 tablespoons Gold Medal® all-purpose flour 1 up milk 1 bag (8 oz) shredded American-Cheddar cheese blend (2 cups) 1/4 cup real bacon pieces (from 2.8-oz package) 4 medium green onions, sliced (1/4 cup)
1 In 3- to 4-quart slow cooker, mix potatoes, onion, celery, broth and water. 2 Cover; cook on Low heat setting 6 to 8 hours. 3 In small bowl, mix flour into milk; stir into potato mixture. Increase heat setting to High. Cover; cook 20 to 30 minutes or until mixture thickens. Stir in cheese until melted. Garnish individual servings with bacon and green onions. Sprinkle with pepper if desired. Expert Tips Instead of using purchased bacon pieces, cook 2 strips of bacon until crisp, then drain and crumble.
Southern-style hash brown potatoes are diced instead of shredded. These work best in this recipe.
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Red Velvet Cake Martini
PREP TIME 10 min TOTAL TIME 10 min SERVINGS 2 Betty Crocker® Whipped cream cheese frosting (from 12-oz container) Betty Crocker® red colored sugar 2 teaspoons chocolate-flavor syrup Crushed ice 1/4 cup cake-flavored vodka 1/4 cup crème de cacao 6 tablespoons buttermilk 1 to 2 drops red food color
1 Dip rims of 2 martini glasses in frosting, then dip in red sugar. Drizzle 1 teaspoon chocolate syrup in bottom of each glass. Refrigerate.
2 Fill cocktail shaker halfway with ice. Add vodka, crème de cacao, buttermilk and food color. Cover; shake vigorously until well mixed. Strain mixture into chilled glasses. Expert Tips You can use grenadine to color the drink, but it won’t turn as red as if you use food color.
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JOKES:
"The first wealth is health." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
******************************************* THING TO PONDER: What is Mother Goose's real first name?
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You might be a REDNECK if... ...you think the stock market has fence around it.
******************************************* Everyone should know this - Good to know
RIPLEY SAYS - IT WORKS EVERY TIME Who knew ? ============ ========= ========= ===== For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: Get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze. (Wish I had known this for the last 40 years!). ============ ========= ========= ===== To remove old wax from a glass candle holder, put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out. ============ ========= ========= ===== Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!). ============ ========= ========= ===== Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel. ============ ========= ========= ===== Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. Now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get 'sharpened'' this way!
============ ========= ========= ===== Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! (Now, where to put the body?) LOL ============ ========= ========= ===== Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks.. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak. ============ ========= ========= ===== Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely a light scent in each room when the light is turned on. ============ ========= ========= ===== Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen. ============ ========= ========= ===== Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning. ============ ========= ========= ===== To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm! ============ ========= ========= ===== To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top. ============ ========= ========= ===== Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. ============ ========= ========= ===== Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. ============ ========= ========= ===== When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness. ============ ========= ========= ===== Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. (I prefer to soak the lime in Gin and rub it on my tongue first) ============ ========= ========= ===== Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces...Left over wine? What's that? :) ============ ========= ========= ===== To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief. ============ ========= ========= ===== Ants, ants, ants everywhere. Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march. See for yourself. ============ ========= ========= ===== Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine. ============ ========= ========= ===== When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily. True! ============ ========= ========= ===== Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer...Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. ============ ========= ========= ===== Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water, and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets. ============ ========= ========= ===== Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. ============ ========= ========= ===== Clean a thermos bottle.. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (Or longer, if necessary). ============ ========= ========= ===== Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, and then run the hot water. ============ ========= ========= ===== Do your friends a favor. Pass this timely (and some not-so-timely) information on to a friend! I know I just did.
Makes you wonder about ingesting Alka Seltzer, doesn't it? *******************************************
Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can't even begin to imagine how their mind is working..... Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centres.. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school because they had a reputation for getting excellent results. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card.. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mum looked at it and to her great surprise, little Zachary got an 'A' in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity.. She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?' Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no.. 'Well, then,' she replied, Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?' Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.' FORWARD THIS TO ANYBODY WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH . Have a wonderful day *******************************************
Prostate check-up... An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'.
The old guy obeys and says, "99".
The doctor says, "Great". Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99'."
Again, the old guy says, '99'." The doctor said, 'Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'. The old guy begins, "One ...... Two ... Three" .....
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing!!! ************************** Feed the Fire By opening the window that is closest to the fireplace, the fire will use oxygen from outside, instead of taking it from inside the rest of the house. You only need to open the window an inch or less.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL MY BOOMER PLACE FAMILY. HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY FULL OF HEARTS AND FLOWERS. Personally I think Everyday should be Valentine's Day and we should treat each other as it is that day.
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REMINDER FROM GOD:
Living Life Backwards
"The time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."1
When I was fresh out of college and was filling the pulpit at a small church, I was asked to conduct a funeral—something I'd never done before and was scared "half to death" about doing it. So I can appreciate how Ben, a new pastor, felt when one of his first duties was to conduct a funeral of an 80-year-old parishioner.
Because Ben had never met the deceased man and knew nothing about him, he asked members of the congregation in attendance at the funeral if they would speak a kind word or two about Ben. Silence. Nobody said a word.
So Ben said, "Many of you knew Albert for a long time. Isn't there someone who can say something nice?"
After a long pause a voice from the back of the room said, "Well, his brother was worse."1
Hmmm … not a very nice way to be remembered.
Have you ever given any thought as to what you would like to be said about you at your funeral, or be written on your tombstone? I'd like to think that one thing said about me would be: "He was real and a faithful follower of Jesus Christ."
Why not give this question some serious thought yourself. If you should die tomorrow, what would you like to be said about you? Would it be gratifying or would it be disappointing?
As Michael Josephson said, "There's an old saying: 'If you want to know how to live your life, think about what you'd like people to say about you after you die—and live backwards.'"2 In other words make sure you are living today in harmony with what you want said about you when you are gone. The same goes for me.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to so live that I will not only feel gratified at what is said about me when I'm gone, but more importantly, so that I will be pleased what you say to me when I meet you face to face—and what a glorious day that will be. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. The Apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 4:6-8 (NIV).
********************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
aver uh-VUR, transitive verb: 1. To affirm with confidence; to declare in a positive manner, as in confidence of asserting the truth. 2. (Law) To assert, claim, or declare as a fact.
Between us and the bottom of the sea was less than an inch of wood. And yet, I aver it, and I aver it again, I was unafraid. -- Jack London, The Sea-Wolf
Although it was not quite true, as he liked to aver, that almost forty years passed between his departure for Germany and his eventual return to Austria, he did not hurry back to Vienna after emigrating to the United States. -- Patrick McGilligan, Fritz Lang: The Nature of the Beast
Many companies aver that the most expedient path to bigger market share or an expanded product portfolio is through a merger or acquisition. -- Megan Santosus, "Arranged Marriage", CIO Enterprise, July 15, 1999
Aver is from Old French-Medieval French averer, from Medieval Latin adverare, to confirm as authentic, from Latin ad-, ad- + Medieval Latin verare, from Latin verus, true. Other words deriving from verus are very, which sometimes has the sense of "true"; verify, to prove the truth of; and verdict, a decision or judgment, literally a "true-saying" (verus + dictum, saying).
********************************** RECIPES:
Chunky Banana-Chocolate Chip Cookies
Have super-ripe bananas? Make super-size cookies frosted with easy-to-make banana frosting.
Prep Time: 20 min Total Time: 50 min Makes: About 1 1/2 dozen cookies
INGREDIENTS:
2 1/2 ripe medium bananas 1 cup sugar 1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 eggs 2 cups Gold Medal all-purpose flour 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips 1/2 cup coarsely chopped walnuts 1 cup Betty Crocker Rich & Creamy vanilla frosting (from 1-lb container) 1/4 cup chopped walnuts and/or miniature semisweet chocolate chips, if desired
DIRECTIONS:
1. Heat oven to 375°F. Mash 2 of the bananas to measure 1 cup mashed; reserve remaining 1/2 banana. In large bowl, beat sugar, butter, vanilla, eggs and mashed bananas with electric mixer on medium speed, or mix with spoon, until well blended. Stir in flour, baking powder and salt. Stir in chocolate chips and 1/2 cup walnuts. 2. Drop dough by 1/4 cupfuls about 2 inches apart onto ungreased large cookie sheet. 3. Bake 11 to 15 minutes or until set and edges begin to turn light golden brown. Cool 1 minute; remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely, about 30 minutes. 4. Mash enough of remaining 1/2 banana to measure 2 tablespoons mashed. In medium bowl, stir frosting and mashed banana until smooth and spreadable. Spread each cookie with about 1 tablespoon frosting. Sprinkle 1/4 cup walnuts over frosted cookies. High Altitude (3500-6500 ft): Decrease baking powder to 1 teaspoon.
Make the Most of This Recipe With Tips From The Betty Crocker® Kitchens Success Using a spring-handled ice-cream scoop to drop the dough ensures cookies of the same size that bake evenly. Storage Allow frosting to harden or become set before storing cookies between layers of waxed paper, plastic wrap or foil.
Nutrition Information: 1 Cookie: Calories 310 (Calories from Fat 120); Total Fat 13g (Saturated Fat 7g, Trans Fat 0g); Cholesterol 40mg; Sodium 115mg; Total Carbohydrate 45g (Dietary Fiber 1g, Sugars 31g); Protein 3g Percent Daily Value*: Vitamin A 4%; Vitamin C 0%; Calcium 4%; Iron 6% Exchanges: 1 Starch; 2 Other Carbohydrate; 0 Vegetable; 2 1/2 Fat Carbohydrate Choices: 3 *Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
********************************** Pacific Rim Glazed Flank Steak
When you're in the mood for flank steak, try this grilled steak. The teryaki-style marinade is delicious! This is a great dish for Father's Day (even if Dad has to do the grilling).
Serves: 4 to 6 Prep. time: 20 minutes Cooking time: 17 to 20 minutes
One 1 1/2- to 2-pound beef flank steak 1 cup prepared, commercial teriyaki marinade 1/2 cup chopped onion 1/3 cup honey 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary 1 tablespoon dark sesame oil 1 clove garlic, crushed pepper, (as desired)
In a medium shallow container, whisk together the teriyaki marinade, onion, honey, rosemary, sesame oil, and garlic. Season to taste with pepper. Remove and reserve 3/4 cup for basting.
With sharp knife, lightly score both sides of the beef steak in a crisscross pattern. Put the steak in the marinade and turn to coat. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes, turning once, and for up to 8 hours.
Prepare a charcoal or gas grill so that the coals are medium-hot.
Lift the steak from the marinade and scrape off as much of the marinade as possible. Discard the marinade.
Grill the steak, uncovered, for 17 to 20 minutes for medium-rare to medium. Turn the steak once during grilling and baste occasionally with the reserved 3/4 cup of marinade.
Transfer any marinade leftover from basting to a small saucepan and set over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer for 1 to 2 minutes.
Meanwhile, carve steak diagonally across the grain into thin slices and arrange on a platter. Spoon the hot marinade over the beef and serve.
********************************** Campbell's Tomato-Topped Chicken & Stuffing
Try this easy, delicious recipe from Campell's Kitchen.
Serves: 4-6 Prep. time: 10 minutes Cooking time: 30 INGREDIENTS:
5 cups Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Stuffing 6 tbsp. butter or margarine, melted 1 1/4 cups boiling water 4 to 6 boneless chicken breast halves 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell's Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup or Campbell's 98% Fat Free Cream of Chicken Soup 1/3 cup milk 1 medium tomato, sliced
DIRECTIONS: CRUSH 1 cup stuffing. Mix with 2 tbsp. butter for topping.
MIX remaining stuffing, butter and water. Mix lightly. Spoon into 3-qt. shallow baking dish. Top with chicken.
MIX soup and milk. Pour over chicken. Top with tomato and sprinkle with topping.
BAKE at 400°F. for 30 min. or until done. Serves 4 to 6. ********************************** Chocolate Cheesecake
Ingredients
2 eggs 3/4 cup granulated sugar 1/4 cup cocoa 1 pkg. cream cheese (8oz.) 8 oz. sour cream 1 tsp. vanilla
Crumb Crust:
1 cup finely crushed graham crackers 1/4 cup cocoa 1/4 cup sugar 1/4 cup melted butter or margarine
Directions
For crust: Mix ingredients thoroughly and press bottom only of an 9x13 inch pan.
Mix eggs, sugar, cocoa, cream cheese and vanilla until smooth and well blended. Stir in sour cream. Pour into prepared crumb crust and bake in 350 degrees F oven for 30-35 minutes or until edge is set. Cool thoroughly; then put in refrigerator to chill. Top with Cool Whip. Garnish with shaved chocolate or chocolate sprinkles.
********************************** QUOTES:
CONFUCIOUS SAYS: Instead of being concerned that you have no office, be concerned to think how you may fit yourself for office. Instead of being concerned that you are not known, see to the (be?) worthy of being known.
THINGS TO PONDER: Why don't more psychics win the lottery? How do they get the ship in the bottle ?
There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income. - Edmund Wilson
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. - Wendell Johnson
A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time. - George Iles
**********************************
JOKES:
You might be a REDNECK if... ...the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice. ---------------------------------------------- This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a Six year old is. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs To her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was Trying to gather the building materials for his home. She Read . 'and so The pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of Straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to Build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do You think the man Said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very Matter-of-factly ...'I Think the man would have said -
'Well, friggin me!! A talking pig!'
The teacher had to leave the room. ------------------------------------------- The Italian says, 'When I've a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstasy.'
The Frenchman replies. 'Zat is nutting. When Ah've finished making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body, and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue, and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy.'
The Newfi says, 'That ain't nothing. When I've finished porkin the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the fucking ceiling.'
-----------------------------------
The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees and she explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest.. Little Johnny at the back of the class put his hand up and asks the teacher, are you sure about the stork, miss?
I think you're getting your birds mixed up 'cos my big sister just got a little baby and she said it was from a shag at the beach.!!!
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A ringer from a huge cattle station in outback Australia appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the ringer offered. "Once, on a trip to the backblocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales, I came across a gang of bikies, who were threatening a young shiela. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed bikie and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the daylights out of the lot of ya’s!"
St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple minutes ago..."
-------------------------------------------------
Denzil Penberthy, an elderly Cornish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions, stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees enough and they would send an inspector to interview them.
On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tell me about your staff," he asked Penberthy. "Well," said Penberthy, "there's the farm hand. I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.. Then there's the dairymaid. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging. There's also the half wit.. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week, along with a bottle gin every week, and, occasionally, gets to sleep with my wife."
"That's who I want to talk to," said the inspector, the half wit." "That'll be me then" said Penberthy.
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDER FROM GOD:
Just Follow
Genesis 12:1, NIV: "The LORD had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.'"
When it comes to our future, most of us have an insatiable curiosity. If we could get an accurate glimpse at the days ahead, we would most likely succumb to the temptation to do so. Just consider how many people consult various mediums hoping to see their future crystal clear, as holding it in the palm of their hands. But, for us, God reveals to us His plans, in His time. Just as God led Abram without revealing all, He also will lead us, so that in so doing we will learn to "walk by faith, no longer by sight." As God directs us toward His path, it easy to speculate and try to figure out His plans. But we should remain faithfully focused on Him so as to follow Him, and not our own understanding. Jesus told us not to "worry about tomorrow." It is certainly enough to simply follow Him today.
This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.
- Joshua 1:8
*************************************
WORD FOR THE DAY:
bo·na fide [boh-nuh fahyd, bon-uh; boh-nuh fahy-dee] Show IPA adjective 1.made, done, presented, etc., in good faith; without deception or fraud: a bona fide statement of intent to sell. 2.authentic; true: a bona fide sample of Lincoln's handwriting.
Also, bona-fide .
Origin: 1935–45;
Can be confused: bona fide, bona fides (see usage note at bona fides).
Synonyms 1. honest, sincere; lawful, legal. 2. genuine.
Antonyms spurious, deceitful, false.
Example Sentences Where the two converge, there are bona fide results. I've been underwhelmed with the bona fide vegetarian restaurants in Boston. We are planning to release a revised bona fide large-print edition of the book this winter to accommodate the book's readership.
World English Dictionary bona fide — adj 1. real or genuine: a bona fide manuscript 2. undertaken in good faith: a bona fide agreement — n 3. informal ( Irish ) a public house licensed to remain open after normal hours to serve bona fide travellers [C16: from Latin]
Word Origin & History
bona fide 1540s, from L., lit. "in good faith," ablative of bona fides "good faith" (see faith). Originally used as an adverb, later (18c.) also as an adjective. The opposite is mala fide.
****************************************** RECIPES:
Kahlua Mudslide
Ingredients to use:
0.5 oz Coffee Liqueur 1 oz Cream 0.5 oz Irish Cream 0.5 oz Vodka
Directions:
Fill a shaker half full with ice cubes. Pour all ingredients into shaker and shake well. Strain drink into a Cocktail glass and serve.
****************************************
Beer-Cheese Triangles with Zesty Cheese Sauce Bisquick mix provides the base for these golden appetizers, and a salsa-and-bean sauce adds zip! PREP TIME 35 min TOTAL TIME 1 hr 35 min SERVINGS 40
2 cups Original Bisquick mix 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese (2 oz) 1/2 cup beer or apple sauce 2 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted 1/4 cup sesame or poppy seed 1 loaf (8 oz) prepared cheese product, cut into cubes 1/4 cup Old El Paso Thick 'n Chunky salsa 1/4 cup Old El Paso refried beans
1 Line cookie sheets with waxed paper. In medium bowl, stir Bisquick mix, Cheddar cheese and beer until soft dough forms; beat vigorously 20 strokes. On surface sprinkled with Bisquick mix, roll dough in Bisquick mix to coat. Shape into a ball; knead 5 times. 2 Press or roll dough into 16x10-inch rectangle. Cut rectangle into 2-inch squares (do not separate); cut squares diagonally in half. Spread with melted butter; sprinkle with sesame seed. Separate triangles and place on cookie sheet. Freeze until firm, about 1 hour. Place frozen triangles in airtight container. Freeze up to 1 month. 3 Heat oven to 450°F. Spray large cookie sheets with cooking spray. Place triangles on cookie sheets. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until golden brown. 4 To make sauce, in 1 1/2-quart saucepan, heat cheese product, salsa and beans over low heat, stirring occasionally, until cheese is melted and sauce is hot. Serve triangles with sauce. Expert Tips If you don’t want to make these ahead, skip the freezing step, place the triangles on the sprayed cookie sheets and bake as directed.
To cut the triangles easily, use a sharp knife or dough cutter and press down through the dough rather than using a back-and-forth motion.
**************************************** Jalapeño Poppers
Spicy peppers get a cooldown from the creamy bean-and-cheese filling in our healthier version of jalapeño poppers.
12-18 poppers Active Time: 40 minutes Total Time: 40 minutes
INGREDIENTS 12-18 whole fresh jalapeño 1 cup nonfat refried beans 1 cup shredded Monterey Jack or extra-sharp Cheddar cheese 1 scallion, sliced 1 teaspoon salt, divided 1/4 cup all-purpose flour 2 large eggs 1/2 cup fine cornmeal Olive oil or canola oil cooking spray
PREPARATION Make a small slit on one side of each pepper. Place the peppers in a large microwave-safe dish. Cover and microwave on High until just softened, about 5 minutes. Meanwhile, combine refried beans, cheese, scallion and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a small bowl. When the peppers are cool enough to handle, scrape out the seeds with a small spoon (a 1/4-teaspoon measuring spoon works well). Fill each pepper with about 1 tablespoon of the bean filling, or until the pepper is full but not overstuffed (the amount will depend on the size of the pepper). Close the pepper around the filling. Preheat oven to 450°F. Coat a large rimmed baking sheet with cooking spray. Place flour in a shallow dish. Lightly beat eggs in another shallow dish. Combine cornmeal and the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt in a third shallow dish. Roll each stuffed pepper in flour, shaking off any excess. Dip in egg and let any excess drip off. Then roll in the cornmeal mixture. Place the peppers on the prepared baking sheet. Generously coat all sides of each pepper with cooking spray. Bake for 5 minutes. Turn each pepper over and continue baking until hot and the filling starts to ooze in a few spots, about 5 minutes more.
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate the filling (Step 2) for up to 1 day. Kitchen tip: Touching hot peppers can “burn†your hands. Wear rubber gloves or wash your hands thoroughly after handling them.
NUTRITION Per popper: 87 calories; 4 g fat ( 2 g sat , 1 g mono ); 39 mg cholesterol; 8 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 5 g protein; 2 g fiber; 419 mg sodium; 119 mg potassium.
**************************************** Chile Con Queso
Our healthier version of chile con queso will have ooey-gooey-cheese lovers celebrating. Now you can enjoy this Tex-Mex dip without all the fat and calories. We replaced some of the cheese with a low-fat white sauce and used sharp Cheddar plus a splash of beer to boost the flavor. Our version cuts the calories in half and reduces total fat and saturated fat by nearly 60 percent.
4 cups Active Time: 20 minutes Total Time: 20 minutes
INGREDIENTS 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 medium onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, minced 1/2 cup pale ale, or other light-colored beer 1 1/2 cups low-fat milk, divided 3 tablespoons cornstarch 1 3/4 cups shredded sharp Cheddar, preferably orange 1 10-ounce can diced tomatoes with green chiles, (see Note), drained, or 1 1/4 cups drained petite-diced tomatoes 2 tablespoons lime juice 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon chili powder Cayenne pepper, to taste (optional) 1/4 cup sliced scallions 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
PREPARATION Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring, until soft and beginning to brown, 4 to 5 minutes. Add beer and cook until reduced slightly, about 1 minute. Add 1 cup milk and bring to a simmer. Meanwhile, whisk the remaining 1/2 cup milk and cornstarch in a small bowl. Add to the pan and cook, stirring vigorously, until bubbling and thickened, 1 to 2 minutes. Reduce heat to low, add cheese and cook, stirring, until melted. Stir in drained tomatoes, lime juice, salt, chili powder and cayenne (if using). Serve warm, garnished with scallions and cilantro.
TIPS & NOTES Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days. Slowly reheat on the stove over medium heat or on Medium in the microwave. Note: We like the flavor of Rotel brand diced tomatoes with green chiles the best in this dip. Choose original or mild, depending on your spice preference.
NUTRITION Per 1/4-cup serving: 84 calories; 5 g fat ( 3 g sat , 2 g mono ); 14 mg cholesterol; 5 g carbohydrates; 4 g protein; 0 g fiber; 307 mg sodium; 36 mg potassium.
Exchanges: 1/2 high fat meat **************************************** QUOTES:
I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. - Rita Mae Brown
The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting. - Charles Bukowski
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong
CONFUCIOUS SAYS: Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.
THINGS TO PONDER: Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? THINGS TO PONDER AGAIN: If I break the laws of Physics do I go to jail? =================
JOKES:
A girl goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, I'm freakin' out...I'm freakin' out...my pee's coming out in four streams." He says, "Get up on the table and I'll see what I can do." She gets up on the table, and as he's examining her, he starts to giggle. She says, "It's not funny. My pee's coming out in four streams." He says, "It won't anymore. I took the trouser button out of there."
------------------------------
You might be a REDNECK if... ...when the biggest city you've been to is Wal-Mart. ------------------------------
You might be a REDNECK if... ...you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
---------------------------
If the Franklin Mint made toasters... Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted piece of your authentic Civil War pewter toaster.
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Two kindergarten girls were talking outside: one said, "You won't believe what I saw on the patio yesterday--a condom!" The second girl asked, "What's a patio?"
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A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's." The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it in church on Sundays." The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30." Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. "WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?" And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
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Q. what do you get when a chicken cross the road falls in the dirt and then rec rosses
A. a dirty crosser
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Two Kentucky hillbillies happened to meet in town. "How're thangs with y'all, Pete?" one asked. "Not bad atall," Pete replied. "My old woman ain't talkin' to me thiseyer week...and I ain't in no mood to interrupt her."
-------------------------------
Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor. "I'm sure I've got a liver disease, and I'm gonna die from it." "Ridiculous," said the doctor. "you'd never know if you had the disease or not. With that ailment there's no discomfort of any kind." "Right," said Herman, "those are my exact symptoms."
---------------------------------
A physics teacher in high school, once told the students that while one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would. With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a good American . . . This probably sounds crazy, but just yesterday I was in WalMart looking for a wastebasket. I found some made in China for $6.99. I didn't want to pay that much so I asked the lady if they had any others. She took me to another department and they had some at $2.50 made in USA . They are just as good. Same as a kitchen rug I needed. I had to look, but I found some made in the USA and they were $3.00 cheaper. We are being brain washed that everything that comes from China and Mexico is cheaper. Not so. That is also why I don't buy cards at Hallmark anymore. They are made in China and are expensive. I buy them at Dollar Tree....50 cents each and made in USA . (added note by Pat) ... Wonder of wonders, I found some really pretty religious Christmas cards at Walmart this year "Made in USA" and by "holiday time", 32 high quality cards to the box and just $2.97 a box! I bought 4 boxes! May go back and get more! Check this out. I can verify this because I was in Lowe's the other day for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose attachments... They were all made in China . The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it, I checked the hose attachments there. They were made in USA . Start looking ... In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do affects someone else - even their job. My grandson likes Hershey's candy. I noticed, though, that it is marked made in Mexico now. I do not buy it any more. My favorite toothpaste Colgate is made in Mexico ... Now I have switched to Crest. Aquafresh Advanced is made in Moon TWP , PA . (Another Good idea . . ..Change one light bulb at a time) . This past weekend I was at Kroger . . I needed 60W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets. I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I normally buy was an off-brand labeled, " Everyday Value ." I picked up both types of bulbs and compared the stats they were the same except For the price. . The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in - get ready for this - the USA in a company in Cleveland , Ohio . So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day that are made right here... So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets... Yep, you guessed it, Bounce cost more money and is made in Canada ... The Everyday Value brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA ! I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years and at almost half the price! My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA - the job you save may be your own or your neighbors! If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others in your address book so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time! Stop buying from overseas companies! (We should have awakened a decade ago....) Let's get with the program and help our fellow Americans keep their jobs and create more jobs here in the USA . I passed this on. Will you???
Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
REMINDER FROM GOD:
Loneliness Is a Sad Affair
"God sets the lonely in families."1
"Loneliness," as Karen Carpenter used to sing so sadly, "it's such a sad affair." Indeed it is. It's one of the plagues of modern Western society.
Dr. James Lynch, a former medical researcher at John Hopkins, contends in his book, The Broken Heart, that loneliness is the number one physical killer today. It can literally break your heart.
"Using actuarial tables from ten years research, Dr. Lynch says that those who live alone—single, widowed, divorced—have premature death rates from two to ten times higher than individuals who live with others. Living alone, he says, does not necessarily produce loneliness, but the two are often related. Among divorced people, suicide is five times higher, fatal car accidents four times higher.
"People who live alone visit physicians more frequently than married people, and they stay in hospitals twice as long for identical illnesses."2
It may not be the most desirable for everyone but we can live without romantic relationships, but none of us can live healthily without at least one or two healthy, close, loving relationships. Without such we limp along in the shadows of life, eking out a lonely existence … and die a little every day.
Dr. Lynch also reminds us that, "If we fail to form loving human relationships, our mental and physical health is in peril."
Besides one's family (if one has one) there's no better place to find love and a sense of belonging than in a healthy, non-legalistic church where unconditional love, acceptance, and friendship are expressed in open, positive, and practical ways. In such a church God does set the lonely in families—that's one reason God has designed the church as a family—the family of God.
Here, too, one can find God—the only one who can satisfy our innate sense of spiritual loneliness. "To live apart from him," says psychologist, Dr. Norman Wright, "is the most pathetic loneliness of all."
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, in my loneliness help me to always look to you and to a church where the people are loving and friendly—and never to any false substitute which would only end up increasing my sense of loneliness. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." ' ********************************** WORD FOR THE DAY:
improvident • im-PRAH-vuh-dunt • adjective : not provident : not foreseeing and providing for the future
Example sentence: Judy’s bankruptcy is the result of several years of improvident borrowing with little thought as to how she would ever manage to repay her debts.
**********************************
RECIPES:
Cream Cheese Cake Cookies
1 box cake mix,any flavor 1 8 oz cream cheese,room temp 1/4 cup butter,room temp 1 large egg 1 teasp vanilla,(optional, depending on flavor of cake mix) 1 cup any add ins,flavored chips, candy,nuts,etc,amounts can very for choc chips, I used a 12 oz bag of semi sweet
pre heat oven to 375, cream together,butter & cream cheese. add egg & vanilla and mix well til blended. (use mixer for this part only) stir in cake mix,alittle at a time until blended well and then add any chips, candy or nuts as you like Bake for 10 mins until edges are brown
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Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad
This delicious main-course salad features grilled marinated chicken, a tasty Caesar-style dressing and crunchy croutons.
Serves: 6 Prep. time: 10 minutes Cooking time: 15 minutes
INGREDIENTS: 1 can Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free) 1/2 cup water 2 tbsp. cider vinegar 2 tbsp. lemon juice 2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce 4 cloves garlic, minced 1/2 tsp. ground black pepper 4 tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese 6 boneless chicken breast halves 1 large head romaine lettuce, torn into bite-size pieces 1/2 cup Pepperidge Farm Fat Free Caesar Croutons
DIRECTIONS: Stir the soup, water, vinegar, lemon juice, Worcestershire, garlic, black pepper and 3 tablespoons cheese in shallow nonmetallic dish or large resealable plastic bag. Set aside 1 1/4 cups for the dressing. Add the chicken to the remaining marinade and turn to coat. Cover the dish or seal the bag and refrigerate for 15 minutes.
Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium. Grill the chicken for 15 minutes or until cooked through, turning and brushing often with the marinade. Discard the remaining marinade. Thinly slice the chicken.
Place the lettuce and chicken in a large bowl. Add the reserved dressing and toss to coat. Sprinkle with the croutons and remaining cheese.
Serving Suggestion: Serve with whole-grain bread and reduced-fat Cheddar cheese. For dessert serve angel-food cake drizzled with warmed all-fruit strawberry preserves.
**********************************
Pork Chop and Apple Bake Cook Time: 60 minutes
Ingredients:
•6 pork loin chops •1 1/2 teaspoons salt •1 1/2 teaspoon crumbled dried sage •vegetable oil •3 Granny Smith apples or other tart variety •3 tablespoons molasses •3 tablespoons all-purpose flour •2 cups hot water •1 tablespoon vinegar •1/3 cup raisins
Preparation: Season pork chops evenly on both sides with salt and sage. In a large skillet, heat a tablespoon of vegetable oil over medium heat. Brown pork chops in hot oil on both sides; transfer pork chops to a shallow baking dish. Reserve drippings. Peel, core, and slice apples 1/4-inch thick. Arrange apple slices over pork chops. Drizzle molasses over apple slices. Sprinkle flour over skillet drippings; cook until brown, stirring occasionally. Slowly add water, stirring constantly, until smooth, then bring to a boil. Stir in vinegar, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and raisins; pour mixture over pork chops. Cover pan with foil and bake at 350° for 50 to 60 minutes. Serves 6.
********************************** Fish-and-Chips
Oven-roasted potato wedges and savory fat-free tartar sauce turn this British comfort meal into a healthful treat. Kids will clamor for the golden-fried cod fingers.
Serves: 4 Edit Total Time: 45 min Prep Time: 15 min Cook Time: 30 min
Oven Temp: 450 Ingredients 4 large (about 8 ounces each) red potatoes, each cut lengthwise into 8 wedges 3 tablespoon(s) olive oil Salt and ground black pepper 1/3 cup(s) light mayonnaise 1/3 cup(s) plain nonfat yogurt 1 tablespoon(s) chopped fresh parsley leaves 1 tablespoon(s) capers, chopped 1 teaspoon(s) Dijon mustard with seeds 1 pinch(s) ground red pepper (cayenne) 3 tablespoon(s) all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon(s) cornmeal 1 1/2 pound(s) skinless cod fillets, cut into 3-inch chunks 1 lemon, cut into wedges
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. In nonstick 15 1/2-inch by 10 1/2-inch jelly-roll pan (or pan lined with nonstick foil), toss potatoes, 1 tablespoon oil, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon black pepper until coated; spread in single layer. Roast potatoes, in lower third of oven, 30 to 35 minutes or until golden and tender, turning over once halfway through roasting.
2. Meanwhile, prepare tartar sauce: In small bowl, combine mayonnaise, yogurt, parsley, capers, Dijon, and ground red pepper. Makes 3/4 cup.
3. In cup, combine flour, cornmeal, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon black pepper; use to coat cod.
4. In nonstick 12-inch skillet, heat remaining oil over medium-high heat. Add cod; cook 4 to 6 minutes or until cod turns opaque in center, turning over once. Serve with potatoes, tartar sauce, and lemon.
**********************************
Tortilla Roll-Ups
These tortillas are great for lunch and snacks.
Serves: 4 Prep. time: 5 minutes Cooking time: none
INGREDIENTS:
1/4 cup mayonnaise or salad dressing 1/2 cup chunky salsa 4 large (10 inch) flour tortillas 1/8 pound d (2 ounces)smoked turkey, (or roast beef), sliced 1/2 cup Cheddar cheese, shredded 1 cup lettuce, shredded
DIRECTIONS: Mix mayonnaise or salad dressing and salsa. Spread on tortilla. Top with meat, cheese and lettuce; roll up. Wrap each tortilla in plastic wrap and refrigerate.
********************************** QUOTES:
Casey Stengel "All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height."
Henny Youngman "I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."
P. J. O'Rourke "If government were a product, selling it would be illegal."
********************************** JOKES:
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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New scientific thoeries
1st RunnerUp- If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
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Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii. As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said, "Look at the legs among that group."
"Sorry old chap." replied the second doctor. "But I'm a chest man myself."
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A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless. "Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts. "Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven." Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied. Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen. "Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!" What do you mean? says his mother. Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both her balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling "God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!"
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The three wise men are out for a stroll when they come across a stable. The three of them decide to duck inside. On the way in one of the wise men hits his head on the low entranceway. "Jesus Christ!" he says. Joseph says, "Quick, Mary, write that down! It's a hell of a lot better than Clyde!"
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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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Tags: Religion, Recipes, Jokes, Tips n More
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