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Viewing 109 - 117 out of 295 Blogs.
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Scientists at the esteemed Cold Springs Harbor Laboratories on Long Island, New York have discovered that shark milk has about 10 times the nutritional value of your Elsie the Cow's milk or any of the plant based, soy, almond or myriad of other milks on the market today . Low fat, no saturated fat, no cholesterol, trace amounts of sodium and phosphorus, and iodine, and Jaws dropping off the charts nutrients like Vitamins A thru Z (you name it, it's in shark's milk ), has made shark milk manufacturers setting their sights and goals on numbers they are Flippering over. Robert Shaw, we need you now.
The frightening trilobites are washing up in increasing numbers on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean here in NewYork Skinny dippers in Coney Island, in Brooklyn, the Rockaways in Queens and several areas out in Eastern Long Island have been stung by these merciless creatures who have survived and evolved over millions of years . These once thought to be extinct marine arthropods remain a mystery to biologists and ancient mariners throughout the world. Swim in just pool water if you want to stay safe.
The world's foremost anthropologists and archaeologists have determined that very ancient man during the reign of the dinosaurs had used passwords to enter their cryptocurrency accounts. This astonishing fact has been confirmed over and over again by experts in both fields. The password was usually the name of the first pet like Dino, Rex, or Rapty.
Congress and the US Mint Department are proposing a new form of currency starting in America on 2024. Many people already have a lot of this currency in their homes which they never knew how valuable they would be. While this new potential form of currency has not leaked out yet, some unscrupulous members in Philadelphia and Washington have inadvertently spilled the beans. No , the currency would not be beans. How foolish would that be. I'm talking about toothpicks. While the denominations are in the process of being determined, what we do know is wooden toothpicks will have the least value with plastic toothpicks having the most...especially those colored plastic swords . So the next time you see a plastic toothpick in a corned beef sandwich or a porterhouse steak, grab it . Just don't stick it in your wallet.
DON'T TRIP OVER YOUR FEET The third documented case of quadrosapienism (being born with 4 legs in humans) was reported last night at Lenox Hill Hospital in Da Bronx, NY. This extremely rare condition occurs in about one in 36 trillion births according to the Guinness Book of Records. The main drawback in having 4 feet seems to be doing the potato sack race and the cha cha cha cha and spending a fortune on shoes and socks.
NEW NATIONAL SYMBOL With growing protests around the country about the American bald eagle being the nation's national symbol, the National Audubon Society has announced starting on July 4th, 2022, the new emblem for the United States of America will be the black billed magpie, aka, the American magpie (Pica hudsonia) The bald eagle is just offensive people are saying and just not that smart. Magpies have an extraordinarily high IQ and equally resourceful as well. Due to the magpies' shrewd nature, they are also known to symbolize deceit, opportunism, and illusion. What better bird to represent the ideals of our great nation. !!!!
Now when I think of a bridge I'm driving over, I think of a bridge like in the photo below, not by the definition of a pathway over a depression or an obstacle like the dozens of signs I saw on some roads in Pennsylvania coming back to New York the other day. I don't even know I'm riding over a bridge. So no wonder, it's confusing to read these signs that say "Bridge May Be Icy". First of all, there is no bridge...no bridge I can see like bridges in NY. For example, the Verrazzano Bridge, The Brooklyn Bridge, The Mario Cuomo (Tapanzee) Bridge. Those are bridges. But what really irks me is what do they mean by that the "Bridge May Be Icy." Am I supposed to guess? Should I assume it's icy? Why not a sign saying "Bridge May NOT Be Icy," It works both ways you know. this To be or Not to be. Why not a sign saying , "There's a Possibility The Bridge Is Icy".? Now I realize that a sign needs to have a short message. We're driving past it at a fast speed and no time to read a full paragraph as we drive by. .....which leads me to this more accurate sign that says more in just a few words. "..The Bridge Might Be Icy BUT You Won't Know It Until You Drive On It. "
NEW DISEASE CAUSING CONCERN The CDC has announced an out break of chicken feet in 6 states now: New Hampshire, Wyoming, New York, Texas, Nebraska, and Florida. This highly contagious disease , although rarely lethal leaves its victims maimed for life ,essentially ending the sports careers for any existent or hopeful athletes. Chicken feet is caused by the Varicella Zoster virus, the same little guy who infected so many with chicken pox as children. Although, there is no cure, except for feet transplants, and aside from covering up the feet with Michael Jordan sneakers, the CDC recommends trimming your claws, boiling your toes, and then braising or steaming them. This treatment can help in such activities as swimming and scuba diving.
Ketchup, Catsup.....However you want to say it or spell it, it may soon be gone... Court battles are raging now to see if this condiment gets removed permanently from your grocery and department store shelves and restaurant tables. WHY? It's because the manufacturers are tired of seeing their product used on the wrong foods. Hot dogs, spaghetti, pizza, fish, even chicken has been the recipient of this beloved condiment.
The Food and Drug Administration, The Federal Dept. of Agriculture, and companies like Heinz and Del Monte have had it with the gross misuse of ketchup. So now it may come down to the Supreme Court to ban ketchup forever .
What does one do who feels they need ketchup? How about trying some BBQ sauce or vinegar on your French Fries? Ok. So you don't want to put mustard on your hamburger? Try some grape jelly or just butter or even peanut butter.
The time has come the walrus said , so be prepared. Don't try stocking up on ketchup either. If it gets banned, the government has specially trained ketchup sniffing dogs that will track down every last bottle and packet and you'll receive a stiff fine and likely imprisonment.
"Give me your tired, your poor" some mayonnaise companies are saying anticipating the massive boom in production once ketchup is just a memory.
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