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The New York State Bridge and Tunnel Authority now offers a safe ,efficient, and relaxing way to travel for thousands of disgruntled weary commuters in the NY metropolitan area.
For a very nominal fee , commuters can now zip line their way over the Hudson River Falls between Westchester and Rockland counties. The traffic nightmares of the Mario Cuomo (formerly Tapanzee Bridge) can become a thing of the past.
Commuters in this ingenious way to travel are advised to be on the lookout for bird strikes, drones, and foreign spy balloons.
The SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS, a subsidiary of the State University of New York , located in Oneonta, NY is offering a curriculum leading to a Bachelor of Science degree in Knock Knock jokes.
The courses are taught by professors who have received accolades for their open door policies around the world. In addition, traveling salesmen and saleswomen will be hosting seminars as adjunct professors as part of the required curriculum courses on how Knock Knock jokes have become an integral part of American culture throughout the nation's history dating back to pre revolutionary war years .
Applicants are advised that to register for this exciting new program, they should be prepared that they might be knocked for a loop.
Our local diner is offering my favorite arthropod seafood trio special this weekend : butterfly shrimp, bumblebee tuna, and spider crab. All entrees come with your choice of two sides: potato bugs, corn earworms ,and asparagus or cucumber beetles.
WHY DID THE POTATO MOVE INTO A WARM BROWN BAG? Because he was living in a colder sack. !!!!!
my oh my was that bad. I should be ashamed of myself to think up such a dumb joke.
HORSES BANNED FROM THE KENTUCKY DERBY
Rob and Roy , the internationally famous pair of Siamese horses from Argentina were banned from the Kentucky Derby and the other two Triple Crown races, the Preakness and the Belmont.
Racing officials say having 4 front feet and only one jockey (who sits within the elongated saddle), is an unfair advantage to the other horses.
Owner Ricardo Equus is suing the AEA (American Equestrian Alliance ) for race ism.
It's been many months since I saw one but NOTHING with more than 2 legs escapes my Hawkeye vision and a recent evening was no exception.
I was in our downstairs bathroom after just washing up and glanced in the mirror and saw a reflection in the crease of the door frame. I doubt most people have developed this acute vision that developed by necessity over years of being on the lookout for these unwanted house invaders.
Within a spit second, I grabbed a wad of toilet paper and SQOOSH......sent that tiny arachnid into spider hell and disposed of its crushed carcass down the currents of that mighty toilet bowl .
What does a comedic felon inmate in a penitentiary have in common with elements of the atomic number 14?
I just found out what residents of Dublin get when rubbing the lamp of a genie. Get ready.....here it comes..............The luck of the I Wish.
Sorry folks,
MY DREAM CAREER HAS NO FUTURE Alas. I have been planning for decades to become a salesman for Encylopedia Brittanica which was so popular years ago but I just found out you can only get it now on line and computers are just not my forte. But all is not lost. There's a slim chance I can still be a World Book salesman.
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