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In an unprecedented paypal decision, , Pope Francis has decided to throw in the towel , his robe, cassock, and yamulke and enter the 2024 race to become President of the United States of America.
Seeing all the disharmony and division of humanity in the USA, the pope feels he can unite the populace and bring America back to the great nation it was back before 1776. According to the constitution and the Farmers Almanac, a president must be born in the USA but the Supreme court in a unanimous decision in an intercepted text sent to the pope said it will waive that requirement. Some members of the Vatican are up in arms while others are up in smoke regarding this decision by his royal eminem. As far as a running mate, the pope is considering Whoopie Goldberg whom he only knows was wonderful in Sister Act , has seen a ghost, and is from The View.
It's one of the most talked-about holiday traditions, and if you're in need of a unique Valentine's Day gift, the Bronx Zoo in New York has just the thing.
The "Name a Roach" gift package is back, giving you the chance to symbolically name one of the zoo's giant Madagascar hissing cockroaches.
So I've decided to name one of these large cockroaches for my wife after 30 years of marriage and harmony This gift will certainly outlast a box of Russell Stover chocolate.
I had originally planned to name a faint asteroid in the Andromeda galaxy for my wife but I can't imagine a better gift than naming a cockroach for her. I hope she'll be pleased and surprised .The non-stick frying pan I bought her last year still has an imprint of my forehead in it.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS and a healthy and properous 2022 to all my friends here at My Boomer Place.
The time has come the walrus said. I agree. The time has come to get to the bottom of some nursery rhyme lingo. I was reading about the life and times of Little Miss Muffet the other day. What the hell is a tuffet? We have chairs and sofas and loveseats and benches and couches but a tuffet? I think not. You don't see any tuffet sales at Macy's or furniture stores AND what's with this curds and whey ? I've never seen that on a menu or on a shelf at a supermarket. What the hell is a rosie? AND one with rings around it, no less. Is this some kind of a planet like Saturn or are we talking Rosie O'Donnell? Another term I'd like to know why it's thrown into a nursery rhyme is a dell. It's not a computer. It's not the singer, Adele. But some farmer was in the dell. I need to refer to my Oxford and Webster's dictionary to look up a dell and see what this nursery rhyme is talking about. While I'm at it. Hi Ho the Derrio. WTF is a Derrio? I tried looking that up and the closest thing I could find is a derriere. Hi Ho someone's ass? Is that the image we want to give our little tykes today. I think Mother Goose should think twice before coming out with what might possibly be construed as tales of selaciousness and erotic and indecent material for our latest generation of toddlers.
DO YOU THINK IT'S TOO SOON? I'm thinking that since I bought some Halloween candy in mid August and Christmas cards and chocolate Santas before November, I'd better buy my chocolate Valentine hearts ASAP so that by the new year I can purchase my St.Patrick's Day cap and maybe some chocolate Easter eggs and bunnies.
My daughter's friend rented a U-Haul since she was moving out of her apartment and asked my daughter for help in attaching the U-Haul to the back of her car after loading the U-Haul with some small furniture and bedding items. She was quite nervous about driving wit the U-Haul but everything went WITHIOUT A HITCH.
So ..... here's the story: I rook my wife shopping on a dreary and chilly Monday at the Crossings Outlets in Tannersville, Pennsylvania. She often shops there when we stay in the Poconos, Pennsylvania . Closer to us our on Long Island, New york, we have actually two Tangers Outlets but she prefers to shop more when we're away and I was not working this past week so we ended up in the Poconos instead of coming home on a Sunday or Monday.
Now I brought some papers and magazines to read as I'd have a couple of hours to kill while my wife strolled around Old Navy and Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, The Loft, Coach, and endless shoes and pocket book shopping. ..Do I shop for a wallet every day? What's this fascination for shoes and pocketbooks?
Anyway, let me tell you: 3PM at the food court at the Crossings. NO LINES. Do you really think I'll be sitting in my car or walking while I was a free man.? I sat down in the food court enjoying a big slice of pizza and then had an egg roll and even a hot cinnamon bun with a chocolate milk shake to wash it all down. Please Don't Tell My Wife. Now, I'll be able to hold off until dinner at steak house we usually go to.
My cousin spent 8 years at Harvard Law School and when finally passing all his exams when it came to the bar.....well, this almost a barrister is now doing what his dream occupation is: serving coffee at a Starbucks as a barista. YEP. vocabulary wasn't his best subject.
I shouldn't talk. vocabulary wasn't my forte either. Being fascinated by the origin of words and to think I spent two years of my college career thinking I was taking etymology when instead I had to make insect collections as part of my entomology classes. I'm sure a lot of people make these easy mistakes. LOL.
MY COUSIN, THE BIOLOGY PROFESSOR My cousin is a professor at Harvard University where he has been teaching for over a decade. He is one of the most prominent authorities on nature and wildlife in the USA and often asked to share his wealth of knowledge with other universities. He told me has wishes to devote more time to his family as his lectures often require he be away from home for days at a time. Now the administration is insisting he does a series of lectures on ornithology (one of many fields he's an expert on ), or else he might be removed from the staff at Harvard. My cousin reluctantly agreed . He's the type of individual who wishes not to ...........here it comes.........sorry folks............ruffle any feathers.
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