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My daughter comes over for dinner about once a week. She moved out about a year ago when she was 26 but able to support herself fine in her teaching career at a local middle school. Her apartment is on Long Island just a few miles from us. My wife makes her this special dinner she really loves: bearded chicken cutlets. You read it correctly. It's no spelling error...bearded chicken cutlets. These bearded chickens besides being incredibly delicious are recommended by the APA...American Poultry Association. I'm talking turkey here for sure, although I'm discussing chickens. These fork tender breasts my wife orders from an upstate New York farm where they are shipped frozen in an insulated styrofoam box. The tufts of elongated feathers called muffs sprouting from these cutlets are easy to chew and have a sweet succulent taste which my whole family loves. My daughter ate a bearded cutlet that reminded her of Abraham Lincoln. Most of these cutlets resemble a swollen avocado. I find honey barbecue sauce really complements the taste while my wife and daughter prefer honey mustard with their cutlets. My wife fries the bearded cutlets in grapeseed oil which really enhances their flavor. With the Big Apple Circus performing for several days in our area at a local park, my daughter was planning on going with a friend. I suggested she take along some bearded chicken cutlets for lunch. YES..They taste great cold too. The main attraction at this year's Big Apple Circus aside from the tigers and acrobats is the world famous Breaded Lady. She'll be singing the song that made her known worldwide: Leavening On A Jet Plane.
I have a cousin named Arnold who has had to deal with an embarrassing problem his whole life, from his childhood school years and even now as a married father of three. He stutters. His parents, Aaron and Alvin Abernathy from New York belong to organizations such as the National Stuttering Association (NSA) and the American -Speech-Language-Hearing-Association (A-S-L-H-A). That's quite a mouthful. Speaking of mouthfuls, Arnold takes about 3 hours to eat a bowl of alphabet soup. Arnold's parents have tried their best to help Arnold by sending him to private schools that specialize with children that have speech problems. The schools, quite aptly are in Ho-Ho-Kus,NJ,and Mamaroneck in Westchester County, NY. My cousin Arnold Arthur Abernathy prefers to be called "Triple A". I felt very bad for him at his middle school graduation . He was the valedictorian and had to give a speech. His parents, school staff, and principal all assisted him in writing it to help keep it concise. Anyway, his speech took her over 10 hours !!!! Almost everyone fell asleep after a few hours, and everyone eventually left,even Arnold's parents, before his speech was over. When Arnold finally finished his speech, the only person left in the auditorium was the school custodian, and he was there to shut off the lights. Growing up, classmates of Arnold made fun of him because he couldn't pronounce names without stuttering and stammering like Wawa or Lady Gaga or Bye Bye Birdie. I know it was cruel when students laughed at him because he had an eye infection and couldn't say, conjuga, cojunga, conjaconja, conconconju, Pink Eye. What causes Arnold's stuttering, no one knows. Speech pathologists feel it might be a genetic disorder, or perhaps some traumatic experience as a toddler or just a life event that triggered the stuttering. People who don't know Arnold get exasperated and impatient when he talks as he sounds like a broken record uttering the same sounds over and over again. But whatever the reason behind Arnold's speech impediment, he has always strived to do his best, married a wonderful woman who didn't marry him for how he talks, but instead for his prolonged bedroom achievements..  .He has overcome many obstacles in his career and achieved his goal working as a spokesperson for Peter Pan Purified Peanut Butter. I can sympathize and relate to my cousin's embarrassment. I have a urological condition. You see , I pee the way Arnold speaks. If I need to urinate during the intermission of a concert or show, I usually miss the second half.
When I was in elementary school , I took this special science class which was for supposedly "gifted" students. Now I was very young with an interest in science back then and never thought of myself as "gifted" but somehow my parents signed me up and told me the teacher was a friend and former co-worker of an uncle of mine. My uncle taught chemistry in a NYC high school back then and I was told to extend greetings to my science teacher from my uncle my parents told me to say to my teacher.
I was young and shy and I do remember my science teacher asked me how I was related to my uncle.
I told him he married my aunt and that I was his nephew as far as I knew. My teacher asked me what side of the family he was on. I told my teacher as far as I know he was on the left side in all the family photos I had seen of him. To further impress my science teacher I said he was my uncle because he didn't marry my grandma but my grandpa did so he couldn't be my grandpa. I proudly said that I'm pretty sure he was my cousin first but became my uncle after growing up and marrying my aunt whose nephew I was too. I also recall saying my uncle didn't live close to my grandma and that's why he married my aunt and became an uncle instead of a grandpa. .
I got a 98 on my report card in science that year. 😊
It's been a terrible week for our family, especially for our daughter. My daughter has been feeling devastated and depressed for days. Goldie is missing. We've searched everywhere in our and surrounding neighborhoods. Years ago,when our daughter was much much younger she had a parakeet named Perky who she adored. It was her first pet. One summer morning she awoke to find Perky lying on the bottom of the cage. "Do parakeets sleep on their backs with their legs in the air", she asked me a bit tearfully and so innocently. Back then, we believe that the spraying for mosquitoes in our area had killed her beloved parakeet. The bird had been breathing in the toxic spraying for days. Perky was perky no more. Now my daughter is feeling much worse with Goldie missing. We have put posters with Goldie's photo on trees, telephone polls, in local store windows and boards. The store owners have been very sympathetic and accommodating to us. We've circulated flyers in our and adjacent neighborhoods in the faint hope that somebody will recognize Goldie. My daughter looks at me now with her painful crying eyes but I am so helpless. We hope if someone else has Goldie they are giving her a good home. How Goldie got out of her goldfish bowl, we may never know.
Once upon a time there was a baby bumblebee named Billy and a knish. The knish was just your standard square shaped fried potato knish with no name. Knishes don't have names, silly.
Anyway, one warm sunny July afternoon with barely a cumulus cloud in the sky,Billy, as yet a hymenoptera (bee) fledgling,was an inexperienced flyer and new to the ways of the world,especially around people. It was on this bright lovely afternoon in search of some mellifluous flowers that Billy was flying across a patio in someone's backyard having a barbecue. Methinks you suspect something bad is going to happen to Billy. This is a happy story. Don't worry.
Billy could sense some sweet aromas and fragrances unlike any rose or lilac or zinnia or any flower he had visited before. Perhaps it was the honey barbecue sauce or macaroni or potato salad. Maybe it was a hot dog or hamburger oozing with meaty juices on the grill. As Billy's inquisitive and curious mind abuzz with thoughts of nectar had him flying near the grill: SMASH. !!!!
The next thing Billy knew was he was lying with his tiny proboscis down in some soft yellowish substance. He had no idea that he had been struck with a fly swatter and hurled right into a sliced open knish warming up on the grill on a piece of aluminum foil. The knish felt so cuddly and cozy .
But Billy was unable to move. Oh my !!! His abdomen and thorax felt very sore in need for some Ben Gay or Icy Hot liniment .His wings did not work and his Lilliputian sized stinger and feet felt all mushed and squooshed. The knish felt so comfy and warm but at the same time getting hotter every second.
Suddenly a big flat metal thing scooped up Billy and his protective knish and the aluminum foil and the next thing Billy knew he was falling into a plastic bag filled with dirty cups and paper plates covered in ketchup and mustard and barbecue sauce and coleslaw and food scraps that were disgusting. Billy didn't know it but the knish was going to be his deathbed inside a pile of garbage. The End. Ok, I lied. It wasn't a happy ending.
There is no moral to this story but perhaps we can take solace and find comfort in these 2 proverbs:
"A swarm of bees in May is worth a load of hay. But a swarm in July is not worth a fly." and Marcus Aurelius nailed it when he said " That which is not good for the bee-hive cannot be good for the bees. "
I am very proud to announce that I will be competing in the Triple "T" (Tic Tac Toe) Tournament at the Tropicana Hotel in Atlantic City, New Jersey in October. This will be my 6th consecutive year in this heralded sanctioned competition that culminates in the salvos and accolades along with the prestigious Triple "T" Trophy won last year by that talented tactful teenager , Thomas Toussaint of Tennessee.
Now that I have reached the status of a Grand Tic Tac Toe Master, I have two personal Tic Tac Toe coaches. .I played Tic Tac Toe as a small child growing up on the beaches of Long Island as well as in the mud during school recess in elementary school and on blackboards in middle and high schools. I even played Tic Tac Toe by mail with opponents from all over the world often waiting for weeks with bated breath for my opponent's next move.
Over the years , I have developed a strategy with a defense of such wizardry , it can blow my opponent off of his or her "x's or "o"s. I have an offense that even gladiators of Rome would envy if we were to battle in the Coliseum. Playing against the most powerful computers in the world is merely child's play for me. As far as tournament play: I have NEVER lost a game. I haven't won a game either. That's one of the drawbacks of perpetual draws.
I OWE MYSELF A PORK CHOP So...this past Mother's Day twas me and my wife and our daughter for a change, at a local diner we often patronize for an early dinner . I'm trying to eat healthy when I can if we go out and usually order the salmon there. Well this time I opted for the filet of sole filled with crab meat as my entree. It was a generous portion and tasted fine as all our dishes do. It was when I saw one of the other dinner specials I hadn't seen on the menu before Mother's Day when I realized I should have ordered that special instead...pork chops in Marsala sauce. I should have asked about them thinking it would be a small portion with a bone like I've gotten at a Perkins or Applebees before. But these pork chops were different Two humongous pork chops I saw someone at another table cutting ....boneless and smothered in savory Marsala sauce. Now this might have been a special just for Mother's Day but I'll certainly ask next time I go with my wife to that diner. OR else I'll stick with my baby boneless salmon. Oh...My wife got 4,,,yes 4 large chicken Francaise cutlets and our daughter ordered lamb chops which were sizable and meaty too. I was the only one NOT licking his chops after dinner.  😋
Exciting news in New York City,folks."The city that never sleeps" is now certainly going to be wide awake with everything going on lately. The Second Avenue Subway (officially the IND Second Avenue Subway Line) , on the East side of Manhattan was scheduled to be open in late December of this year but now that date will not be until later in 2019, if even then. The subway will run between 63rd and 96th streets connecting to the Broadway line and the rest of the subway systems. Construction started in 1972 but halted due to the city's financial crisis and restarted again in 2007.
But last week, many of the city's vagrants and drifters and squatters who call our subways their home may have a valid reason not to leave their underground residences. The New York City transit workers in their continued effort to complete the Second Avenue Subway have struck gold. A gold mine of massive proportions has been discovered beneath the streets of Manhattan. Another gold rush ,similar to that of 1849 has prospectors from all around the globe encroaching on New York City, specifically the East side of Manhattan.
Once again, work has come to a grinding stop on this necessary subway line. The dreams of becoming wealthy have folks wanting to get their hands on some of this gold. But it won't be that easy. The deep mine shafts necessary to obtain the gold ore may take weeks to set up safely. Resin, cable, and friction bolts are being brought in by the boatload to stabilize the East side of Manhattan as the gold ore extracted must be done so very tediously ,carefully, and gingerly to release the gold deposits from its host rock.
New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio is already concerned with the nightmarish traffic jams by the Trump Tower on 5th Avenue and 56th street . Now with a gold rush and the summer street fairs and folks flocking to area beaches, the citizens of Manhattan will feel more overcrowded and restricted from getting around Manhattan than ever before. As usual, the mayor will once again do everything in his power to give New Yorkers the royal shaft.
With the recent number of firings and resignations in the White House, another well known name has decided to call it quits at the end of the month. Emeritus Kelly, the Speaker of the Circus and Supreme Court jester will be leaving the closely knit group surrounding President Trump. Emeritus was quoted as saying," A dirty clown is Ridiculously Clean when standing amongst politicians. " President Trump's first choice to replace Emeritus,.(Emmett as he's called ), was Clarabell, the clown. But Clarabell declined saying that Speaker of the Circus would be too demanding as he is still suffering from seltzer poisoning. It appears Ronald McDonald will vacate his Big Mac empire to do his McRibbing in the White House. Bozo the clown will be waiting in the West Wing if Ronald cannot fill those big shoes. The Donald and Ronald team is expected to begin on July 1st.
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